>> carrd
ojovivo
almost home

gracie abrams
The Bowery Presents
NASA
The Stonewall Inn
untitled

Origami Around
🪼
RMH

pixel skylines

ellievsbear
Not today Justin
EXPECTATIONS

Kiana Khansmith
art blog(derogatory)

#extradirty
Sade Olutola

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United Kingdom

seen from T1

seen from Australia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Jordan

seen from Spain

seen from Australia
seen from Algeria
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Brazil
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seen from United States

seen from China
seen from United States
@kai-maister
>> carrd

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Situation that happened in class this semester that was so funny I immediately sketched it out in my notes
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
!!! BUILT LIKE BILBO BAGGINS !!!
Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event
Come on, now, op. We all know squidward doesn’t go to the club.
He’s one of those “I’m not like other gays” gays who goes home to a bottle of wine and his obscure 50s vaudeville records, and then mopes because he can never find a boyfriend.
I love this website so much

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falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy
falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs
thinking about when my brother got chatbanned from overwatch and the email they sent him after he tried to appeal it said “we dont normally bring up the incriminating messages, but in this case we feel its necessary to show you what got you banned” and it was all shit like “ i will kidnap you in the desert and make you forget how to eat”
i feel like this is more funny
How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton
I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?

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important that you never forgive ice agents, ever. even years after all this is over (and I do believe we will make it out on the other side, alive and for the better,) they live in shame and disgrace forever. no excuses, no forgiveness. they ruined their own lives when they decided that human freedom and liberty was an acceptable sacrifice for a paycheck
im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to
spiderman dances to the beat
no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour
hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that
can you imagine if coronavirus happened in like 2013. this site would be like "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO A LEARN ABOUT ~SOCIAL DISTANCING~"
LUCKILY FOR *YOU* HANDSOME BASTARDS, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IS E X A C T L Y SIX FEET TALL.
SO NEXT TIME YOU’RE CHILLING WITH YOUR MOIRAILS, IMAGINE A BEAUTIFUL BENDYPOO LYING ARSE NEKKID ON THE FLOOR BETWEEN YOU. CAN’T FIT A WHOLE SHERLOCK?
THEN YOU’RE T O O F U C K I N G C L O S E GOD DAMN IT.
Imagine joining the army and your drill sergeant talks like this
the man who owns and runs the thai restaurant in my town knows me by name. he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful men i know. i started ordering from his place back in january, which was when i got my fibromyalgia diagnosis. back then i was using a walker, had limited mobility in my entire body but especially my hands, and was very visibly in pain. i always ordered the same thing: yellow curry with no meat, potatoes and carrots only (i have texture and other dietary issues). he always made it a point to make sure i could get out the door and carry the food safely. he had his workers package the food so that it was easier for me to open. as i kept coming back and i told him a little bit about my health status, he would always encourage me to keep going. he told me about how the spices he used were good for inflammation and began to edit the recipe just for me so that spices that were even better for fighting inflammation were used. he’d give me extra portions and despite the fact that i would tip every time, i realized later that he never charged my card for them. as time went on and my condition began to get better, especially with the help of a physical therapist, he would make encouraging remarks and tell me how happy he was for me. the day i came in without my walker, he practically jumped for joy, and despite my insistence, he gave me my meal for free that day. i continue to make progress with my conditions and i continue to go to the thai place. this man who does not know me personally and who i hardly know anything about is one of my favorite people. it’s interactions with humans like these that make loving life easier. and his curry really does help my chronic condition. it’s comfort food taken to the next level.
This is what I think about when people ask what the meaning of life is

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"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
VAGINA!!!!
Beach walk