La joie venait toujours après la peine.

It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

For real though working together with some human social workers, a Vulcan would be an excellent caretaker for children in an adoption center.

Child has a meltdown? Imagine Stork, perfectly calm and unbothered, approaching the kid and saying “You appear quite upset, Eliza. If you would please allow me to relocate you to the ‘bean-bag-chair,’ we can discuss the source of your distress.”

A Vulcan educated in medicine and child psychology would be endlessly patient with a kid with behavioral issues. Stork wouldn’t get or upset or frustrated. After all, these are children with medical and psychological conditions. It would be illogical to blame the child or to not treat them with the appropriate care.

Even if the a little one was having a bad day or was just overtired, Stork wouldn’t get angry. He might even be a calming presence. Any new kids acting out would learn real quick that they’d have better luck trying to arm-wrestle a Klingon than get a rise out of Stork.

Not only that, Vulcans live much longer than humans. Imagine Stork looking virtually unchanged as decades pass. Kids he’d helped years ago would turn up fully grown, maybe there to adopt their own kids, and run into Stork, looking almost exactly as they remember him.

Heed The Stork

There’s Always A Chance and

Not Logical by MarlinSpirkHall (hi)

What Stork Brings by AfterIWake @mousedetective

One (1) Daily Shoulder Pat by Android_And_Ale @android-and-ale

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭, 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐮𝐡𝐦 𝐲𝐞𝐚!

your lips brush against each other and you’re situated in his lap hands settling on his broad shoulders while his rests on the small of your back pressing you closer against him and his other holds your face, thumb caressing your temple. he pulls back to look at you, really look at you and take you in.

you’re panting, lips bruised and a little dazed he thinks you look cute. a smirk tugs at his lips, he breathlessly chuckles, the laugh rumbling throughout his chest “you still with me, baby?” he asks teasingly. eyes flickering up to look at you, nodding and saying something about more. his lips travel to the span of your jaw pressing soft but meaningful kisses to the skin. he’s invading your senses and if he’s being honest you’re invading his.

a soft moan of “katsuki” leaves your lips as his lips brush against the skin behind your ear and he kisses that spot that leaves you dizzy. “you’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, ya know?” he says. you squirm a bit in his hold his hair ticking your cheek “you think so?” you tease but also for that part of you, the part that sometimes needs reassurance. “i know so” he retorts quick to wash away your worries. his hand moves to rest on your hip giving it a squeeze as he nips at your ear “my pretty girl” he affirms.

and it’s your turn to look at him, eyes holding emotion much too intense to put into words, so he does what he can with this. holding you close, pressing your body against his, laying delicate kisses along your skin, allowing himself to let you hold his heart the same way you let him hold yours. washing away any doubt that comes to mind about you, about him, about both of you together.

Ship Dynamics :

(feel free to use<33 / was requested by @confused-fuckperson Feel free to drop requests or asks! )

Tall Grumpy A x Short Unbothered sunshine B

CEO x BodyGuard

total sweetie pie A x B who hates human interactions

looks scary but is actually soft A x looks soft but could kill you B

calm and collected A x B who loses their mind on a daily basis

Flirty A x Confident B who gets swayed when A flirts with them

"Shut up" A x "Shut me up please" B

secret agent A x B who solves criminal cases for fun

Prince/ss A x B who's their trainer

bakery owner A x floral shop owner B

A who says a lot of daddy jokes x B who finds all of it funny

"I can buy you everything here, love." A x "I can buy them all with my own money, baby" B

Independent A who doesn't love to get pampered x B who pampers A at every opportunity

cold hearted A x B who makes them soft

gets lost everyday A x B who picks them up every time

A who is talkative x B who adores them and listens attentively

class topper A x B, the student who fails every subject

“You have 10 minutes,” he’ll grumble in passing, you ignoring him as you laugh along to a TikTok.

“Five minutes,” he’ll yell from the kitchen, you still sprawled out on the couch.

“Give it,” He demands when time is up, but instead just takes your phone away.

You pout and whine that he can go to bed, why do you have to?

“None of that sweetheart, I counted,” he tugs you to the bedroom and you reluctantly follow him.

Plugging your phone next to his on the night stand, he gives you a pointed look.

“Leave it,” he orders, and you scoff.

“I’m not a dog, geez,” You ease into bed, and cuddle into Katsuki when he joins you.

You know he takes your phone away out of love, you did have a habit of staying up super late when you came across a funny video, or an interesting twitter thread, or a good fanfic. Katsuki was strict about his sleep schedule, and having your phone keeping him up was not an option.

“Love you,” he whispers against the nape of your neck, giving you a peck there before falling asleep. You weren’t that lucky, your mind was wide awake and you just knew you wouldn’t fall asleep anytime soon.

Peeking behind you to see that Katsuki was snoring away, you reach for your phone.

Making sure the brightness and volume were low, you scrolled on TikTok and tried to keep your giggles to a minimum.

Bakugou wakes up when he doesn’t feel the familiar weight against his side, meaning you weren’t cuddling him.

Blinking back exhaustion, his state of confusion morphs into one of disbelief.

“I told you no more phone for the night!”

You let out a scream, his booming voice scaring you. Bakugou pulls your phone away, and you know better than to try to get it back.

“What the hell, you promised you wouldn’t grab it if it was plug in for the night,” Katsuki said in frustration, putting the phone back to where it was. He laid back down, seeing that you were pouting.

“Katsuki, you’re not my dad!” You yell, annoyed that your boyfriend was treating you like a kid.

“No, I’m daddy,” he smirks, and you roll your eyes at Katsuki. He moves you so that you lay against his chest, and you think Katsuki would fall back asleep after he fell silent for a bit.

“You use to fall asleep in class,” he whispered, staring up at the ceiling. You moves to hug him tighter.

“You would stay up so late, and you were always so tired,” Katsuki continues. “I know growing up, your parents didn’t care if you were on your phone late, but I care.”

He kisses your forehead. “I don’t mean to be mean about it, it’s just that I want to take care of you.”

You hear his heartbeat against your ear, and you feel his fingers trace your back. “If you’re too tired during the day, how would people see just how amazing you are?”

His words make your cheeks burn, and you slightly sit up to look at his face.

“Ya know for being a strict asshole, you sure are sweet sometimes,” you said, making Katsuki scoff.

your friends were quite... loud, at times. rambunctious. it was difficult to be heard whenever you wanted to say something. you didn't blame them, not really. they were so energetic all the time that it was only inevitable that someone like you—soft-spoken and significantly quieter than them—would get drowned out in the face of their fast-paced enthusiasm.

to their credit, they didn't exclude you intentionally. they did remember your presence and they often did their best to get you to contribute to conversations. but, well, they didn't always.

not that you were particularly incensed about it. you were new to the group anyways, it was only natural that they would forget you were there from time to time.

overall, though, you thought yourself lucky to be able to settle in so easily with their friend group. they were very accommodating and nice—you couldn't recall a single moment where they made you feel like an imposter. they'd adopted you into their lives like you were a stray cat on the streets and you couldn't find it in yourself to be ungrateful.

currently, you were sitting in the apartment of ashido mina, having been invited to one of her get togethers for some of her classmates from her high school days. you were familiar with most—if not all—of them by now and had been warmly welcomed into her home to catch up with their exciting lives.

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 - 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲

Kinktober masterlist.

This is another Kinktober fic that was supposed to be non-con but ended up soft as fuck. I am down so bad for this man I just can’t help myself-

Summary: Sick of his constant angry outbursts damaging his hero ranking, Dynamight’s PR team insist he attends one of the city’s “hush hush” clubs to try and blow off some steam. Bakugou thinks he has absolutely no interest being there, until he wants to find out who is on the other side of the wall.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x f!reader

Warnings: 18+, glory holes, spanking, marking (burns), squirting, slight mention of belly bulge.

Word Count: 4.5k.

Bakugou did not want to be here, shocked that these private institutions even existed for Pro-Heroes. Sure, he realised sometimes they could be a necessity, having learned all about them in his training as a young sidekick. Just last month Kirishima had to be taken into one of the quirk rooms when he got hit with a nasty sex pollen quirk by a villain he was apprehending. The woman saving his life as she gave the hero Red Riot relief, but this? This was ridiculous.

Dynamight had far better things to do than this complete waste of his time, did his PR team really think he couldn’t get laid? He could go out and have any woman on their knees in an hour tops, but he had better things to do. His PR team insisting that another scandalous headline with leaked pictures on Twitter wouldn’t be good for his hero rankings, another Dynamight one-night stand already ready and willing to sell her stories to the tabloids. But why should he care? He was still going out and saving lives on a daily basis, the media talking about his dick wouldn’t change that.

Bakugou’s PR team booked him in for a session at one of the most prestigious clubs in the city, a place where Pro-Heroes could blow off some steam without any dirty laundry aired in public, the workers were discreet which meant the club had the price tag to reflect it.

Of course, his immediate answer was no. Until Kirishima had convinced him to try it out once.

“Just one time, Bakubro. If you hate it you don’t have to go again. But I know you won’t— there’s this one girl that’s so fucking hot man. She can make you cum in under a minute.”

“Pretty sure that’s your shitty fuckin’ stamina, and how do you even know she’s hot if you haven’t seen her.”

“I— look man, I can’t explain it but she just sounds hot.”

“Tch, whatever.”

This had to be the most ridiculous thing he’d done as a Pro-Hero, stood in a fancy bar with a bottle of beer as a deep bass tone played in the background. Waiting to be escorted into their room for the evening as he checked his watch, the quicker he could get in and out the quicker he could go home. Necking back his bottle of beer as they were called for their room.

He’s instantly panicked, his eyes are bugging out of his head, he’s slightly freaking out as he kicks off his shoes and runs over to crouch next to me. 

He’s checking me for wounds, blood, broken bones. He checks the cats, giving them a once over as they gaze up at him, pleading silently for help. He cups my face in his hands, makes me look into his eyes. 

He can see the fat salty tears careening down my face, my body is shaking from the deep sobs and hiccups and I can barely speak. His eyebrows are furrowed because he’s trying to make out what I’m trying to say to him. He can only recognize his name amidst the sobs and he’s wondering if maybe I’m having a panic attack.

“Princess, you have to tell me what’s wrong or I can’t help you! Take a damn breath!”

I finally take deep breaths as I hug the cats tighter to my body and they struggle in my grasp. and Katsu is asking, “What, is something wrong with the boys?” (because yes Katsu does refer to our cats as “the boys”)

I’m sniffling and I say through the sniffles, “Yes there’s something wrong” 

Katsu is immediately like “What’s wrong? Don’t worry dummy whatever it costs I’ll pay for their vet bills!” 

And then I wail again as I cry out, 

‘I got too drunk and realized I couldn’t protect them!”

And he literally just stares at me. For a solid 3 minutes probably contemplating why the fuck he married an absolute dumb ass like me.

And then… he laughs. A big hearty body shaking laugh and I look at him in distress because why the fuck is he laughing at me during this very serious moment. 

And then he pats my head, releases the cats, and pulls me into his arms and gives me a kiss on the forehead. And we’re both sitting in the middle of our kitchen floor cuddling each other as he chuckles to himself and calms me down from crying.

“You’re such a dumb ass but goddammit I love you so much.”

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝒸𝓊𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑜𝓃, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓃𝑜 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑒𝓁𝓈𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃. 𝒩𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝒶 𝑜𝒻 𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓉𝓎

This is just a cute self-indulgent piece of this months BNHArem collab. You can read the rest of the pieces on the masterlist here.

The title is from one of my all time favourite love songs, you can listen to it here. Because this is self-indulgent, there are specific descriptors in this. I don’t often write them in, but please don’t be offended if anything doesn’t resonate with you.

Summary: Sometimes it’s difficult to understand why Bakugou Katsuki loves you, but he’s determined to show you just how much he does.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader.

Warnings: 18+, PWP, slight breeding kink, creampie, cunnlingus, praise, slight overstimulation, just established relationship sex-

Word Count: 5.1k.

Being married to Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t easy. 

Falling for an up and coming Pro-Hero you had to have some ideas of what you were getting yourself into, the things that would challenge your relationship and make you question whether it was really worth it. The long, arduous shifts meant that he’d clamber in through the front door as you were leaving for work, placing a lingering kiss on your lips as he tried to avoid getting dirt and debris onto your outfit (it never worked). Having to plan for months to try and get time off together, booking a vacation only to have it cancelled at the last minute when a national state of emergency was declared. Finally getting the same evening off for date night only to have your husband called into work to help apprehend a villain he’d been chasing for weeks.

You could never get mad at him, even though you could feel the ugly emotion whirling around inside you whenever life would throw you one of those curveballs. You had to remind yourself of all the reasons why you were with him, the reasons why you loved him. It all meant that you cherished those moments you had together even more because you could never know when you’d have to go back to the mundane reality of life.

You’d both been through so much together, and you’d helped each other through your darkest days. The true strength of your love had shown through all those times and still continued to grow, outshining any doubts or insecurities in your minds that things may not work out. The distance between you was never enough to break the bond that you both shared, the emotions that refused to be squandered.

all you wanted was a kiss from your loving boyfriend, bakugo. a small act of intimacy to help you get through the rest of your day at work. so when you were hoisted up on the nearest counter with your boyfriend stood between legs and kissing you until your head was spinning, you were a little surprised.

“katsu,” you mumbled against his lips, pulling back for fresh air to reach your lungs.

your attempt was cut short by bakugo pulling your lips back against his, both hands cupping your face and keeping your mouth to him.

it was almost too much. your head was slowly becoming dizzy and disoriented, the only thing you were able to comprehend being your boyfriends tongue licking inside of your mouth. you didn’t know if you wanted to pull away to breathe or to push your lips closer to his. either way, you weren’t moving anytime soon with his firm grip holding your mouth to his.

you pawed at his shirt, gripping it tightly as if it was your lifeline. your grip on him the only thing from keeping your mind grounded despite everything around you beginning to feel light.

you let out a soft moan when his tongue swirled around yours before pulling away briefly. his lips no more than an inch from yours, feeling your breath fan across his lips with each pant you let out.

your eyes flickered between his hooded, lust-filled eyes and the string of spit that was connected between both of your lips. the sight becoming overwhelmingly lewd in your hazy mind and igniting a stronger feeling of desire inside of you.

bakugo saw your eyes flicker up to his, clouded over and pupils dilated with a pleading look.

his chuckle sent shivers up your spin, making your head start to spin again. “tell me what you want, baby.” his thumb brushed over your cheek, patiently waiting for your response.

your grip on his shirt somehow grew tighter as you attempted at pulling him closer to you. “want another kiss, please.” you whined, trying to reconnect your lips to his once again.

his hold on your face didn’t let you move, a pout forming on your face. bakugo chuckled darkly at your expression, enjoying the way your pleading and desperate eyes began to water.

“awe, is my baby gonna cry because they want another kiss?” you shook your head in whatever capacity possible with his hold on your cheeks. you did your best to attempt to blink your tears away, but this only caused your boyfriend to chuckle once again. “of course not, you couldn’t have possibly gone dumb just from me giving you a little attention, right?”

you whined in his hold, but before you could argue that you weren’t going dumb from his mouth alone, his hands cradling your face pulled your lips back to his abruptly.

an obscene moan was ripped from your throat, muffled by his tongue slipping back into your mouth. your legs wrapped around his waist, clinging onto him desperately as you let him do as he pleased with your mouth. it was only a short while before your head became foggy all over again, getting drunk on the way his tongue massaged over yours deliciously. maybe you were going dumb from his kisses alone, but you knew both of you didn’t mind one bit.