Because I wanted to choose a chaotic deity for a evil run and ended up choosing Trickery Domain, Tiamat .

And boy was I not ready for what a cluster fuck THAT would be.

Dark Urge Spoilers Ahead

Like did I wake up in the Nautiloid, realize I was a cleric but couldn’t remember my deity so I chose one at random? Am I stuck in some weird parental dispute on who get me for 2 weeks this month?!? Shouldn’t Tiamat get a say in this? And I know she is locked up in the Nine Hells but I figure if she can support me as a Cleric she got to have a say somewhere along the line?

This post sent my brain running…

But in a completely different direction…

Ren with dragon horns always looks neat.

Because I know I have some childish special interests. And when I get overwhelmed too badly I go back to child mode. Like my brain regress and even if I’m conscious of it, I can’t control it. And in that state it would be so easy to take advantage of my situation.

And I have met other autistic peoples that do not even have a concept of consent and went through some horrible things and still didn’t fully comprehend that what these peoples did to them was wrong.

In my dark moments I think about how dating someone like me would be like committing a felony. And that is why I only attract weirdos and will end my life alone.

My aunt was super excited about the last big Har/ryPotter game and tried to drag me into her excitement.

But I’m Autistic, ADHD, Agender, Panromantic and Demisexual. You know the gist of it…

So I told her I was probably not going to buy it because I didn’t want to to encourage the woman at the top.

And I got shamed for passing up on the game for something so "silly" and that right in front of my younger teenage cousin who is also LQBTQ.

I felt bad for myself. But even more so for my teenage cousin. Adolescence isn’t a good age to have to face your family about things like this. Adulthood isn’t much better but at least the hormones have settled down.

For a time I thought they just thought I was stupid because I couldn’t understand social cues, time and locations (poor sense of time and orientation)

But in the last years I have been realizing that they assume I’m normal when I’m not. I have ADHD and Autism. I have many special interests and they all have their own memory bank of knowledge that I have learned.

So when they explain things to me that I already understand they assume that I won’t understand like most peoples.

An example is that I have amassed some random medical knowledge. Nothing good enough to be a professional. But enough that I often mention things off handed-ly that make peoples look at me weird.

And today I had one of those moments when I realized “Oh! This is not knowledge everyone knows.”

I wonder what it feels like to not have so many random tidbits of knowledge about so many different subjects running through your mind.

I guess it must be a much simpler life.

Forgot to take my pain, stomach and asthma medicines earlier.

Same with Tv Series/Movies adapted from Books.

It’s like someone saying that it’s nice they made an Animated adaptation of a Live Disney Movie.

Haitham would probably know right away which one is the real one but be so pissed at hearing them scream at each others for hours that he would smash their heads together to knock them out and leaves with his Kaveh thrown over his shoulder leaving it to the others to deal with the fake.

So I definitely can see what peoples are saying about Kaveh continuing to draw after injuring his hand.

And Haitham would probably be just as pissed as my friend was back then and take him to the medic/hospital to get it checked out. 😅