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oh to be a sexy crime boss and feed an underling who failed me to my pet dragons in front of the hero in order to establish the fact that iâm a threat for story purposes
i have received a reblog accusing me of breaching union contract for feeding employees to dragons so i would like to just go on the record and state that we at Death Machine Incorporated are actually extremely pro-union, both because union members work harder and with better morale than non-union workers, and because it makes them way less likely to desert us when things get tough than the âgoodâ companyâs workers, giving us a massive manpower advantage
my pet dragonsâ diet mostly consists of strikebreakers, scabs, and other various anti-workerâs rights activists, as well as a proprietary nutritious mixture of protein and carbohydrates and fruit to pad out their diet. you canât take over the world on your own, and we love it when our employees join Henchmen United to show theyâre committed to the planetary domination game, so they never get fed to the dragons
so true. angels should be tall slim things with 3 sets of feathery wings and another one folded over their eyes and a tongue that is long and strong enough to pin your hands over your head that comes out of a jaw with teeth teeth why does she have so many teeth those shouldnât be there teeth shouldnât do that
the teeth are made of stained glass that sing like the wet edge of a wine glass in a thousand thousand tones that all blend in perfect harmony they are arranged in perfect circles like the jaws of a lamprey circles that extend inward forever toward a single point of perfect light that is the dawn of the universe or the soul of God the gums are shining brass and there are eyes between the teeth a myriad of myriad of eyes from cat to snake to octopus to goat to human in every color imaginable they see through your skin they see through your flesh they see through your soul the jaws are wide wider than your head wider than your body wider than your world wider than your universe open to devour all and return it to sacred unity with the Divine-
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got the GtN name pronunciation guide on my dash, so now I'm thinking about how the way this is worded ("Ianthe and Corona were 'Cainabeth and Abella'", the deliberate placement of Ianthe first) has always made me wonder if Ianthe was/is intended to be Cainabeth and Coronabeth is Abella.
I only noticed that now but I find it interesting how in that guide the names don't switch one but every time they are brought up. "Goodtwin" and "Badtwin" but next it's "Badtwin and Lessbadtwin", the words are in reversed order... Either it means something or it's deliberately designed confusing so that it's hard to conclude who is supposed to be who
As per this interview on Reactormag, Ianthe is confirmed to have been originally Abella!
(Of course, this still leaves at least some room to question who's Badtwin and who's Lessbadtwin, though my money in generally on Corona being Badtwin, personally!)
Consider: what was the story of Cain and Abel? One sibling is beloved by God for their talents, and the other kills them out of jealousy. This is usually translated as Cain bad, Abel good, but as the quote stated it's more complicated than that.
Ianthe is Abel not because she is "less bad", but because she is the one who was accepted by Jod and she is the one who will be betrayed by her beloved sibling.
Mina harker is the steel backbone holding up the entirety of dracula's plot. Fuck everyone else, Mina is the single most important character in this entire book
The show Wednesday certainly has its moments, but is not without its issues. I watched through Season 1 and didnât bother to watch Season 2 after I confirmed that Winclair wasnât going to happen.Â
The setting is interesting, most of the side characters are fun, the actors are generally giving it their all, and even the showrunners realized the relationship between Wednesday and Enid was basically carrying the entire thing. So what went wrong?Â
In my opinion, it was the Addams family themselves.Â
The Addams family is a deliberate inversion of the stereotypical nuclear family so popular in the 50s and 60s. They are outwardly creepy, wicked, and deviant, but are inwardly incredibly wholesome. By ignoring what society claimed was important (conforming to social norms) to focus on what was actually important (genuinely loving each other), they managed to be a more ideal family than almost any other fictional depiction at the time.Â
Another part of what makes the Addams family work is that theyâre basically living cartoon characters. They can get away with being weird and non-conforming because theyâre functionally untouchable. They have more money than god and despite their best attempts generally couldnât fail if they tried. Itâs core to how they work, because in real life most of what the Addamses get up to would be either suicidally dangerous or instantly lethal.Â
The show ignores both of these traits for the sake of drama, and I think itâs lesser for it. Wednesday herself is the typical rebellious teen with overbearing and overwhelmed parents, which flies against everything they usually stand for. They also face realistic harm and consequences, which does play up the horror but also makes them not feel like the Addams family.Â
In Wednesday the idea of Gomez going to jail for murder is a dire threat, but in most other iterations Gomez would have been delighted and would have turned the prison around inside of a week. A terrified Morticia having to be saved from a creepy stalker by an equally out-of-his-depth Gomez would be unthinkable in the original cartoon or 1990s adaptations. Previous versions of Puggsy have him being tied up and tortured on a daily basis, but in Wednesday heâs terrified just from being gagged and shoved into a locker. The very idea of murder being a bad thing for an Addams is anathema to their usual comedically inverted morals. Â
Wednesdayâs serial killer hobby only makes sense because the audience knows that sheâs by far the most dangerous thing out there. In Wednesday, however, she is frequently out of her depth against threats both supernatural and mundane. This makes for dramatic scenes, but also makes her come across as a teenage girl who has no idea what sheâs doing. It even makes her seem disconnected from her own family, since previous versions would have wistfully dreamed about being torn to shreds in the woods by a deranged monster.Â
In short, Wednesday takes both the Addams and the family out of the Addams Family.
So how do you make this work? How do you write a teen horror drama starring Wednesday Addams that doesnât nerf her into something unrecognisable? You do what every good writer does when writing for an invincible protagonist: you threaten the things around them.Â
Wednesday herself has plot armor to the moon and would consider threats of imprisonment, violence, or torture to be a good time, but sheâs also prideful. She has standards that she rigidly upholds and she delights in punishing those she thinks deserve it. As much as she might pretend otherwise, she does make social connections and she genuinely loves her family.Â
The Addams family is immune to direct attack: they gladly feast on those who would devour them. The people around them arenât so lucky. Wednesday might be able to walk away from anything without a scratch, but her fellow students will get hit by the collateral damage. Even if she doesnât actually care about them (she does), her pride would never let someone else take the fall for her. The idea of someone getting hurt as an accident result of her actions is completely unacceptable. If sheâs hurting anyone it will be premeditated, deliberate, and surgical. Anything else would be unforgivably sloppy.Â
This is also how you get audiences to relate to a character that would otherwise be very difficult to relate to.Â
As much as kids in the 90s might have wanted to pretend otherwise, you canât be Wednesday. Youâll never be as cool as she is, because sheâs a cartoon character and you arenât. While youâll never be Wednesday, you can be the girl Wednesday pulls from the ground, hands some black lipstick, and teaches how to cut the brakes on a TERFs car.Â
Wednesday is a bad audience surrogate but an excellent paragon. Inspiring other kids into an Addams-style revolt is literally her subplot in Addams Family Values, which itself inspired the core premise of the show Wednesday.Â
To demonstrate what this looks like in practice, have a look over here!
While the show Wednesday has its moments, I think its biggest weakness is that it robs the Addams family of their uniqueness for the sake of cheap drama. I wrote a full breakdown, but I also wanted to show what this might look like in action.Â
So hereâs my revised take on the first episode of Wednesday.Â
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The episode opens the same way as in the original show, with Wednesday walking through a normal highschool and finding Pugsley tied up in a locker. This time, however, Pugsley isnât afraid or traumatized: heâs just confused and slightly bored. He was waiting for them to start sticking knives through the ventilation slits (you know, the fun part), but the other kids just walked away. He supposes they were late for something, or maybe they forgot.Â
Wednesday doesnât have Pugsleyâs uncomplicated benevolence and understands that this was intended to be an attack and insult. She has a vision revealing the culprits, like in the show, and still unleashes her signature aquatic revenge on them. She pointedly does not tell Pugsley that showing emotion is weakness.
Cut to the Addams family in their hearse. Rather than disparaging Wednesday, Gomez and Morticia are extremely proud of her. They think her âlittle prankâ was inspired, though itâs a shame the boy and his parents didnât have any sense of humor. Neither did his teammates, his coach, the principal, the police officers, the judge⌠Such boring people.Â
Still, what an achievement! With this latest expulsion, there isnât a single school on the entire East Coast willing to accept her. Wednesday dryly notes that sheâll have to get started on the West Coast then, though being so far from home will beâŚinconvenient. Morticia smilingly corrects her that there actually is one school still willing to take her in. Wednesday asks which one, promising to have it in ruins within a week, and Morticia tells her itâs Nevermore.Â
Rather than being upset like in the show, Wednesday is excited (as excited as Wednesday gets, anyway). Nevermore was always her first choice for schools, but her parents told her it wasnât an option. She asks what changed, and her parents deflect.Â
Wednesday is too elated to push the issue and begins rattling off a list of all the knives, tools, poisons, talismans, and other things she wants to make sure were packed so she can make a good first impression. She begins asking about the classes and extracurriculars her parents took, and Morticia reminds her that she should try to be her own person and not just follow in their footsteps. Wednesday dryly informs her that she is well aware and the only reason sheâd attempt to do the same thing as them is to prove she can do it better. Gomez is delighted: âThatâs my little razorblade!â
Wednesday also relates that she had another vision while she was at her old school, and her parents are delighted. Wednesday ponders if sheâll end up like Cousin Cass, whose visions drove them so mad they[1] tore out their eyes, set themselves on fire, and threw themselves off a cliff. Morticia says that itâs possible, but gently asks her to temper her expectations. We canât all be as fortunate as Cousin Cass, and being tormented by visions from beyond is a wonderful thing all on its own. Â
Notable in this interaction is the fact that the Addams family is loving and supportive. They are involved in Wednesdayâs life, care about her interests, and encourage her to pursue the things that make her happy. Wednesday reciprocates their affection in her own understated way and clearly trusts and looks up to her parents. Rather than being grossed out by Gomez and Morticiaâs constant PDA, the rest of the family is affectionately bored by it. Everyone approves, it just happens so often itâs become routine. Having to pause a conversation while her parents have an impromptu makeout session is a fact of life for Wednesday and something sheâs long-since learned to work around.Â
Wednesdayâs arrival at Nevermore goes about the same as in the show, but with considerably less hostility on her part. Gomez and Morticia make several remarks that the campus seems to have declined since their day. Security cameras are everywhere, most of their old haunts are now off-limits, and even the famous fountain in Ophilia Hall has been drained and the statue of Ophilia removed. Principal Weems sadly states that the fountain required too much maintenance, and a statue of a drowning woman was considered too morbid for a childrenâs dorm.
Enid gives Wednesday the grand tour, and it becomes immediately obvious that Wednesday doesnât fit in. The Outcasts are far more visibly inhuman than in the show. Rather than normal kids in sunglasses, the vampires look like Count Orlok wearing welding goggles. The werewolves are visibly fanged and hairy (even Enid, she just hides it beneath knitted sweaters, scarves, and mittens). The Sirens have obvious gills they regularly spray with mist to keep moist. The Gorgons are covered head to toe with what are essentially burqas, leaving no indicator at all of what they look like underneath. We will eventually learn that there are students who look fully human but for this introductory scene none of them are visible, making it painfully obvious that Wednesday does not fit in here.Â
Something carried through from the show is Enidâs warning about Wednesdayâs aloof demeanor not working in Nevermore. Indeed, as things progress we continually see that her death glares have very little effect and no one takes her threats particularly seriously.Â
Wednesdayâs goodbye to her family is heartfelt rather than confrontational. Unlike in the show her custom school uniform isnât ready yet and wonât be for a few more days, but sheâs been given permission to wear her normal clothes in the meanwhile.[2] The Addams family still secretly drops Thing as they leave, but this time he is supposed to be a pleasant surprise for Wednesday rather than a spy.Â
Wednesday is excited to jump into classes but is very disappointed by the curriculum. Rather than the fun and outlandish classes her parents talked about like Pagan Studies, Intro to Curses, and Blood Magic 101, almost everything is mundane. Grammar, Geometry, Computer Science, etc. She wants to take Ancient Sumerian, not âBeginner Spanishâ. Enid, overhearing her ranting, notes that this is a school. People are here to learn, and algebra has a lot more real life applications than curses. âOnly if you lead a boring life,â notes Wednesday.Â
Classes are indeed a letdown. The vast majority of Wednesdayâs schedule is locked into mandatory mundane courses that are exactly the same as in a normal school. The few courses sheâs allowed to pick for herself are also disappointments.Â
Potioncraft ends up being about making salves and soaps, not lethal poisons and fleshwarping tonics. Wednesdayâs complaints are immediately rejected: teaching teens how to brew dangerous and lethal substances would be irresponsible and illegal. Botany is only slightly better. The class itself focuses on mundane herbs and common flowers, but Thornhill notices Wednesdayâs disdain and takes her aside after class to show off her far more exotic private garden. Wednesday asks if any plants like these will be in future lessons, and Thornhill shakes her head. Nevermoreâs curriculum focuses on preparing students for mundane life in the outside world, so learning to grow daisies and cucumbers is far more useful than sundews and hemlock.Â
Throughout the day it is clear that Nevermoreâs students are not happy with her enrollment. Whispers and dirty looks follow her wherever she goes. Her desk is vandalized with âGo home, normieâ, she gets shoved in the halls, her bag is dumped into the compost heap.Â
Wednesday attempts to take out her frustrations on the fencing team by challenging Bianca, only for things to go wrong yet again. Her razor-sharp sword (a gift from her father) is immediately confiscated: they only fence with regulation foils (which we can see are tiny, flimsy things by comparison). Wednesday reluctantly agrees to use a school foil despite her distaste, and the match begins.Â
While many members of the Addams family are master sword fighters, Gomez in particular, they disdain rules. An Addams is a swashbuckler, a duelist! Thrusting back and forth in a line would be boring! Whereâs the style, the flare? As a result, while Wednesday is an expert with a sword, she turns out to be a terrible fencer.
Bianca lunges, and Wednesday effortlessly spins out of the wayâŚand immediately loses a point because she went out of bounds. She loses the next point when she exploits an opening to kick Biancaâs legs out from under her, another illegal move. She attempts to remove her mask, and is told protective gear must be worn at all times. Gritting her teeth, she fights Bianca while following all the rules. She makes a good showing, but itâs obvious the limits on what she is allowed to do are crippling her and Bianca soon scores another point.Â
Frustrated, Wednesday throws down her mask and coldly issues a challenge: live steel, no tips, first blood. An amused Bianca almost seems ready to accept when the instructor shuts it down hard. Wednesdayâs challenge amounts to an actual, real duel. Itâs not only dangerous, irresponsible, and against every possible rule, itâs literally illegal. Wednesday is banned from the fencing team and leaves in disgust. As she arrives in the locker room to change from her fencing tunic, she glumly notes that her locker has been stuffed with crumpled notes like âgo back where you came fromâ, âyou donât belong hereâ, âget lost, rich girlâ, etc.Â
Even in the foulest mood, Wednesday isnât so off her game that she doesnât notice someone preparing to drop a gargoyle on her head. Ambushes and lethal traps are commonplace in her family, and this one is quite crude compared to what sheâs used to. She calmly prepares to step out of the way at the last momentâŚand is tackled onto the pavement by Xavier.
She regains consciousness in the infirmary, and Xavier tells her their shared backstory and that theyâre finally even. Wednesday disputes this, since she could have harmlessly avoided it if he hadnât tackled her from behind. Besides, there was no way anyone would expect such a clumsy attempt to actually work. People have been throwing things at her all day, this was just more hazing.Â
Xavier doesnât take this well, but Wednesday states that if he really wants to pay off his debt, he can explain why everyone seems to hate her so much. Xavier explains that most of the students at Nevermore are people who canât go to school anywhere else. Sure, the kids at her old schools might have picked on her for being a weirdo goth, but how do you think theyâd react to someone with fangs or gills? Schools for Outcasts are extremely rare, so every time a slot opens up at a place like Nevermore people fight tooth and nail to get in. Wednesday might be proud of having been kicked out of a dozen schools, but for the kids at Nevermore this is their only chance, and they desperately need it. The mundane subjects she disdains are their only hope of actually having a life after they graduate.Â
Not everyone has a family thatâs insanely rich and connected.  Â
Wednesday glumly returns to her room and begins typing out her dark musings in a journal entry, and is told to knock it off by Enid. Sheâs trying to study, and the typewriter clacking away is making it impossible to focus. Wednesday states thatâs hardly her problem. Enid angrily snaps that sheâs already in danger of flunking out because of how bad her grades are, she canât let things slip any further. Wednesday again states that isnât her problem, and an enraged Enid says she has ADHD so studying and paying attention in class is very hard for her.[3] The distraction of her damn typewriter isnât helping at all. Wednesday dispassionately inquires if Enidâs received any treatment, but Enid just rolls her eyes and cryptically says âFat chance.â Utterly fed up, Wednesday rips up her journal page and goes to bed.Â
With Nevermore a disappointment at every level, Wednesday resolves to abandon it. Itâs easier said than done, however.Â
Wednesday isnât under maximum scrutiny like in the show, but this version of Nevermore is locked down much tighter. The school is ringed by a high, spiked fence (very atmospheric, but also very intimidating) along with cameras and motion detectors. Even if you could somehow climb over or slip through, it would be detected. The only way in or out is through the main gate, which can only be opened from the security office of Nevermore.[4]Â
Students are only allowed to leave the campus if theyâve proven they have sufficient care and self control not to cause problems outside its walls. Theyâre issued special badges that they must wear at all times when in Jericho along with their uniforms, and they have to scan the badge when leaving and returning so there is a log of exactly how long they were gone. Normally these badges are only issued after months of demonstrated good conduct, but Wednesday has an exception because of her court-mandated therapy.Â
Wednesday packs up her essentials and departs for âtherapyâ, planning to use it as an excuse to disappear once in town. Weems doesnât drive Wednesday this time, since Wednesday is no longer expected to want to leave. On the way to town she passes a number of tire tracks on the side of the road and has a vision: police cars parked, the sheriff looking over the shredded remains of a hiker in the woods, and a massive monster screaming in the night.Â
Thing literally snaps her out of it, and while Wednesday is curious she ultimately decides itâs not worth the hassle of sticking around. She wouldnât be able to investigate while stuck in Nevermore anyway, so escape is still the plan. Aware that showing up to a therapy session with a backpack and suitcase would be suspicious, Wednesday ducks into the coffeeshop and hides them in a corner before heading to her appointment.Â
Dr. Kinbott is just as easy to escape as she was in the show. Climbing back to the street, Wednesday casually throws her Nevermore badge in the trash and heads for the coffee shop to collect her things and depart. Thing wants her to call her family to take her home, but Xavierâs comments about her privilege struck a nerve. Wednesday wants to try going it on her own, to find out if she can make it without her familyâs money and protection. These plans are derailed when she finds her possessions missing.Â
Tyler notes Wednesdayâs fury from across the room and tells her to relax: he just moved her stuff behind the counter so it wouldnât get stolen. Wednesday notes that heâs rather perceptive to have seen her earlier, and he shrugs it off. She kinda stands out, and anyway he has a dull job in a dull town. Not much to do but stand around and watch.Â
Wednesday reclaims her things and prepares to depart, only to notice a commotion happening outside. Another Nevermore student (Rowan) has drawn the notice of Lucas Walker and his bullies. They drag him behind the job, steal his wallet, and begin beating him while mocking him for not fighting back.Â
Thing appears atop a nearby dumpster, snaps twice to get their attention, and then waves cheerfully. The boys recoil in horror and start looking around for a brick to smash Thing with, which is all the distraction Wednesday needs to get close and start pummeling them. The fight is over in seconds and Wednesday regards their unconscious bodies with quiet pride.Â
Tyler opens the back door of the shop and swears at all the carnage. Wednesday locks onto him, prepared to eliminate the final witness, but Tyler meekly puts his hands up. Heâs no narc, no matter what she might have heard, and those guys clearly had it coming. He asks Wednesday to help her friend slip into the back of the shop: thereâs a first aid kit in the back they can use to patch him up. Wednesday points out that Rowan isnât her friend, but silently helps Rowan limp inside.Â
Tyler mentions theyâll need to be careful: Nevermore students arenât allowed in the shop. Wednesday asks why, and Tyler explains that most businesses in Jericho are off limits to Nevermore kids. Apparently they kept causing disruptions so people started banning them.Â
Rowan weakly laughs and says the âdisruptionsâ were unusually Nevermore kids getting harassed by the locals. Thereâs a zero-tolerance policy for violence: they canât fight back, no matter what, or theyâll be expelled. The people of Jericho know it, and since they have to always wear their badges and uniforms any Nevermore kid is an instant target whenever they go to town. The stores that donât ban them hike up their prices as an unofficial âNevermore taxâ.[5]Â Â
Wednesday asks why they even bother going to town then, and Rowan says that a lot of kids donât. The rest are willing to risk it just so they donât go stir crazy being stuck inside that stupid fence for months on end. Any freedom is better than nothing, and itâs not so bad if youâre with a group. Wednesday immediately asks why heâs alone then, and Rowan just shrugs. She isnât the only one who doesnât fit in at Nevermore.Â
Wednesday is getting a dark look in her eyes as she observes the cheery and painfully normal streets of Jericho, but she changes the subject rather than respond. She asks if Rowan can make it back to school on his own. He says yes, then almost collapses as his leg buckles when he attempts to walk. Wednesday sighs and reluctantly states that sheâll help carry him back.Â
Rowan and Wednesday limp back to Nevermore, only to find police cars and an FBI van parked outside. Weems is waiting for them and carefully informs Sheriff Donovan that the last of the missing students have arrived, as she promised. Donovan demands to know why Wednesday isnât in a uniform, and Weems states that it had to be special ordered due to an allergy and hasnât arrived yet. He then asks whatâs wrong with Rowan, and Rowan replies that he slipped down some stairs. He points out Wednesdayâs luggage, and she coldly informs him she was shopping.Â
Donovan doesnât seem to buy it but gruffly orders them to their rooms. Wednesday asks why, and Donovan tells her that thereâs been an incident. The school is on lockdown while they search it. Wednesday asks to see his warrant, and Weems politely states that Nevermore can provide blanket permission for law enforcement to search studentsâ rooms and belongings at any time. Itâs part of the agreement they signed with the federal and state government to remain in operation after aâŚcertain incident, along with all the cameras and additional security.[6] Â
Wednesday stalks back to her room, and finds several investigators in the process of trashing Enidâs half of the room while Enid fumes. She demands to know why this is needed: she canât even turn! The investigators either donât believe her or donât care and continue to rip apart her colorful decor, dumping her books, drawers, and bags onto the floor. To emphasize the violation we get a shot of an agent skimming through the texts on her phone while another reads out her browser history and a third rummages through her underwear.[7]Â
A tearful Enid points at a previously hidden set of chains on the wall and states that theyâve already pulled the data: they know she was chained up like she was supposed to be during the last full moon. Wednesday dispassionately observes from her own end of the room, and Enid demands to know why they didnât search any of her things. An investigator coldly informs her that her roommate is listed as human, so thereâs no point searching her stuff. Thereâs no way a little goth girl could literally rip a man to bits...to which Wednesday responds: âYouâd be surprised.âÂ
The investigators eventually leave, and Enid tearfully begins attempting to put her side of the room back together. She points out that the least Wednesday could do is help, and Wednesday puts on large gloves to begin assisting. Enid is insulted (âYou think Iâm that gross?â), but Wednesday reminds her of the color allergy.[8] As they clean, Wednesday remarks that itâs interesting. Enid is in no mood, but Wednesday presses onward anyway. They were clearly looking for something, not just someone, or thereâd be no point to such a violent search. The body in the woods wasnât just shredded: the killer took something. Thatâs not a mindless beast, thatâs a serial killer. Very interestingâŚ
In the next scene, we finally return Wednesday playing âPaint It Blackâ on her balcony while we check in on the rest of the cast hearing her play. Some are the same as in the show, but a few are different.Â
Enid is trying and failing to study when she hears the music. After a flash of annoyance, she glances outside and pulls up her laptop to begin typing. It appears to be a story about Detective Wolfe, who is now explaining why the body they found isnât the victim of a mindless beastâŚ[9]
Weâve seen Xavierâs art before, mostly soulless still lifes of mediocre quality. Heâs working on one now, but when he hears Wednesdayâs music he tears it up. He angrily grabs tubes of black and red paint and rips the cloth off another canvas, revealing an intimidating impressionistic painting of the monster in Wednesdayâs visions.Â
Bianca is practicing alone on the fencing mat. Her form is flawless, but when she hears the music she stops. She considers for a moment, bending her foil entirely in half (showcasing how much of a sad toy it is compared to a real sword), then snaps it in annoyance. She hears a knock and turns to see Thing waving at her from the doorway.Â
Tyler is closing up shop for the night. He begins locking up but stops and turns in the direction of Nevermore. Heâs much too far away to hear the music thatâs playing, but his head turns wistfully, almost as if he can hear it anyway.Â
Weems smiles as the music drifts into her office. âItâs about time.â We see that she is standing by the lit fireplace, reading a police bulletin featuring the battered faces of the boys Wednesday beat up and a wanted notice for a teenaged hispanic female in black clothes. Weems rips it up and calmly throws it into the fire.Â
Sheriff Donovan is sifting through the results of the Nevermore search, which came up empty. His eyes casually fall on the report for âSinclair/Addamsâ, and he immediately grabs it, throwing all the papers off the desk as he frantically begins pulling up Nevermore student records until he finds âWednesday Addams.â
As the song ends, Thing appears. Wednesday asks if he âdelivered itâ, and Thing wiggles a finger in a nod. âDid she accept?â Thing opens up in a shrug, and Wednesday supposes it will have to do. She walks to one side of the balcony, puts on a black half mask, and then jumps, landing on a nearby roof and sliding before jumping away again.Â
We catch up to Wednesday landing neatly on the cluttered but open expanse of another roof. Bianca is waiting there, her face concealed by a half mask and an elegant sword in her hand. This is no wobbling fencing foil: itâs live steel that looks like it came from the belt of an English sea captain. Wednesday smiles very slightly beneath her mask and draws her sword.Â
âSame rules as before? Live steel, no tips, first blood?â
âOf course.â
They fight, and it quickly becomes clear that Bianca is as out of her element in a freestyle fight as Wednesday was on the fencing mat. Wednesday easily takes advantage and has her blade to Biancaâs throat in just a few seconds. She doesnât draw blood, however, and with her point made Wednesday removes her sword and they clash again.Â
Bianca is now moving and rolling, allowing her to do much better, but she rarely attacks and when she does her attempts are extremely limited. Wednesday quickly deduces that sheâs holding back to avoid accidentally causing serious harm, and Bianca replies that of course she is! Only a crazy person would just flail around with real swords! Wednesday supposes that means sheâs crazy, butâŚ
â...maybe crazy is just what this place needs.â
Did she really risk her entire academic career by sneaking out onto the rooftops for an illegal duel with real swordsâŚonly to waste it by holding back? Come on. Stop worrying about the consequences and just take the leap. Bianca says it's not so simple, and Wednesday replies that it is.Â
âOne way or another, youâll finally have done something worth remembering.âÂ
Bianca finally stops holding back, and the resulting fight is epic. Theyâre spinning, leaping off obstacles, and rolling under each otherâs swings as their blades flash in the moonlight. Itâs every bit the cinematic fight their first confrontation on the fencing mat wasnât, a full Hollywood swashbuckler duel, and itâs clear both of them are having the time of their lives.Â
The fight finally ends when Bianca gets in a lucky swing and cuts Wednesdayâs face. Far from being shocked or disappointed, Wednesday looks pleased. The air is still thick with excitement and tension, and it appears theyâre about to start fighting again when voices and lights appear below them. Wednesday nods briefly and they both take off in opposite directions, parkouring away even as faculty with flashlights appear on the roof they just vacated.Â
Wednesday, sans mask, slides back into her room. Enid idly asks where she went, and Wednesday calmly states that if she doesnât tell her then Enid wonât be forced to testify in court. Enid shrugs and goes back to her laptop as Wednesday pulls out her typewriter.Â
Wednesday begins writing a letter to her family, explaining how disappointed she is with Nevermore. It used to be a unique place where ancient traditions were preserved, risks were encouraged, and differences were celebrated. Now itâs just a conformatorium, smashing Outsiders into boring molds so theyâll fit in a society that refuses to make a place for who they really are. Even that isnât enough, since the school is obviously being strangled by xenophobic locals and jackbooted pigs. She doubts it will last another decade. Thereâs still a little fight left in the students (Wednesday pauses to wipe blood from her cut), but most of it seems to be directed at getting her to leave. The students, the faculty, the townspeople, the police: everyoneâs against herâŚÂ
â...and you know how I love a challenge.âÂ
Post-Credits Stinger:
Wednesday is still typing at her desk.Â
âPS: There appears to be a vicious killer in the woods ripping people to bits. Will get souvenirs for Pugsley if I can.âÂ
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[1]: Immediate confirmation of a they/them Addams to show that despite having the structural make up of a traditional nuclear family the Addamses are queer in every sense of the word. Â
[2]: Wednesday not getting a uniform right away serves to emphasize her status as an outsider. When she finally gets a uniform and puts it on, it is a visual indicator that she has accepted and been accepted by her fellow students.Â
[3]: It needs to be very clear that Wednesdayâs habits arenât just annoying: sheâs causing Enid actual, measurable harm. Giving Enid untreated ADHD makes it obvious that Wednesday is punching down in this scene, and the fact that Wednesday stops shows she recognizes this.  Â
[4]: Nevermoreâs extensive security systems are a physical representation of the social and legal oppression the students face, and this oppression is the true antagonist of our revised show. The school is basically a prison, so weâre establishing details early to set up for the inevitable prison break.Â
[5]: Weâre being very explicit that this isnât social exclusion or bullying: this is a mass campaign of exclusion and exploitation that deliberately echoes real-world discrimination.Â
[6]: This is set up for a very big payoff later on. The reveal of âThe Incidentâ is what will prove to Wednesday that while she might be virtually invincible, the people around her are not. Morticia and Gomez escaped the fallout of the Gates murder without scratch, but Nevermore didnât. Its current status as a neutered pseudo-prison is a direct consequence of their actions, and if Wednesday acts up then the school will be shut down completely.Â
[7]: Showing Enidâs underwear onscreen might seem needlessly pervy, but this scene needs to be as unsubtle as possible. The police are metaphorically and literally exposing the most intimate parts of Enidâs life on the flimsiest of justifications.
[8]: Here we have the reverse of Enidâs ADHD revelation, as Enid and the audience are reminded that Wednesday has her own disability to accomodate. Her color allergy is a real condition and isnât just an excuse or funny joke. From this point forward Enid and Wednesday start gradually accommodating each other, which allows them to remain roommates and eventually become friends.Â
[9]: Wednesdayâs novel was originally used to showcase her conflict with her mother. Thereâs no longer any conflict, so the novel has no narrative purpose. Rather than scrap it we can give Enid the writing hobby instead, with her writing reflecting her growing relationship with Wednesday. Itâs also a useful way to get her involved in Wednesdayâs adventures: investigating a murder would be great research for her story!
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This one's for the scenes with multiple characters, and you're not sure how to keep everyone involved.
Writing group scenes is chaos. Someoneâs talking, someoneâs interrupting, someoneâs zoning out thinking about breadsticks. And if youâre not careful, half your cast fades into the background like NPCs in a video game. I used to struggle with this so muchâmy characters would just exist in the scene without actually affecting it. But hereâs what I've learned and have started implementing:
⨠Give everyone a job in the scene â¨
Not their literal jobâlike, not everyone needs to be solving a crime or casting spells. I mean: Why are they in this moment? Whatâs their role in the conversation?
My favourite examples are:
The Driver: Moves the convo forward. They have an agenda, theyâre pushing the action.
The Instigator: Pokes the bear. Asks the messy questions. Stirring the pot like a chef on a mission.
The Voice of Reason: "Guys, maybe we donât commit arson today?"
The Distracted One: Completely in their own world. Tuning out, doodling on a napkin, thinking about their ex.
The Observer: Not saying much, but noticing everything. (Quiet characters still have presence!)
The Wild Card: Who knows what theyâll do? Certainly not them. Probably about to make things worse.
If a character has no function, theyâll disappear. Give them somethingâeven if itâs just a side comment, a reaction, or stealing fries off someoneâs plate. Keep them interesting, and your readers will stay interested too.
âIf you give children a vocabulary thatâs large enough and complex enough to express their emotions and their ideas, you give them access to complex feelings and emotions in themselves. So that if you talk to a teenager and all they can say about how they feel is BAD, and they havenât got, you know, a larger vocabulary for lonely, abused, insecure, frightenedâŚI mean thereâs this huge panoply whichâŚI remember when my daughter was just telling me that she just felt bad, I bought her a thesaurus. I said, âLook up, is it sort of over lonely, or is it insecureâŚand look up under lonely, youâll find two hundred words for lonely. Which one?â But what that does is that it makes you feel that thereâs this huge complexity of emotions and there are words for all of them. If you want children to feel less frustrated and less disenfranchised and less unable to even feel comfortable with their own emotions, youâll have to give them a vocabulary thatâs as complicated as their inner lives. And one of the things we see in children is this incredibly reduced capacity for reporting their inner lives to the exterior world. One of the things is just teaching them poems, just teaching them to memorize poems in school, they donât have to interpret them, if they just internalize the language of the poem, the complexity of the emotion in the poemsâŚâ
-Jorie Graham, in a conversationÂ
Welp, there's an AI clone of my voice out there making fuckass AI slop video essays on youtube dot com
On the one hand, I guess it was only a matter of time? On the other hand... there's ten billion Video Game White Guys on the damn internet, how the hell did the roulette decide to land on me of all people?
Really difficult to describe the feelings I'm sitting with right now. Resignation, I guess? Incandescent, directionless rage? A weird sense of personal violation?
Especially since there is literally not a goddamn thing I can do about it. The channel is just churning out ChatGPT slop essays with AI editing, it's not like I have a copyright claim. It's plagiarizing from millions of people all at once, it just so happens to be doing it while wearing my voice as a kind of skin suit.
I guess I just have to be ready for this to happen more frequently. If my luck stays bad, whatever model got trained on my voice will be used on god knows how many slop videos churned out by automated systems, and then there'll be thousands of the fuckers.
... god, and the real fun will happen when people start accusing my videos of being AI narration because my voice sounds like the AI voice they heard narrating some slop on instagram reels or whatever. Wheee.
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to be clear, I believe younger artists and minors can write good fics (not to say âfanfic must always be goodâ either because it is a hobby and I still believe that as long as itâs done with love and the artistâs joy, it is good) and I believe itâs good when younger artists and minors start making art at young ages.
that said, a lot of fanfics out there that you read and love are done by adults with kids, jobs and responsibilities. adults who have years, decades of practice under their belts. adults who donât let life and responsibilities take away their joy in creating.
someoneâs love and passion donât suddenly go away the second they reach a certain age. so if anything, I feel sorry for people who say âadults shouldnât write fanfics or make fan artâ because what these people really say is that they expect themselves to stop having fun and finding comfort in things that bring them joy and comfort the second they reach a certain age. itâs sad that they put an expiration date on their own fun and source of comfort.
gummygunk
blakekathryn
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