inhale the goodshit exhale the bad shit

never thought i’d be blogging again, but here I am. I recently had a baby girl and her name is Avelyn, She is so precious and I wouldn’t change a thing. I have had sleepless nights and have cried here and there but hey I mean I guess it comes with motherhood right? I think that I am slowly learning to love my postpartum body and i’m starting to appreciate myself more. pregnancy and birth is a beautiful thing I agree but the extent of fucked-ness that it does to your mind body and soul is crazy. I’m so great full that I have a supportive husband and that he builds me up instead of knock me down. I appreciate him. I never knew that parenting would be sleepness nights, tiredness, excitement...everything all at once. I guess I can say I am blessed to have such a loving family. I never knew that I could love another human so much before I had Avelyn. 

whats it called when you have no idea what to feel. when you feel lost in your own thoughts where it makes you second guess your decisions. the numbness, the emptiness. can you feel it too? you know, that feeling when you feel like a piece of you is missing. its like a stranger in the distance staring at you, talking to you. so close yet so far away. .