Sometimes I over explain what I’m feeling bc I want the other person to do the same but that never happens they’re just like ok… that was weird…. Like idk I think despite my efforts to connect with people I don’t think it lands like I don’t think I do it correctly lol. It’s like I’m communicating how a cat does by showing that I feel safe to be this open so u can too. like the way they slowly close their eyes to say I love you or show their tummy to say I’m safe with you. That’s what I think I’m doing but it doesn’t translate. Bc we’re human beings…. My bad
Also bc I’m afraid to directly ask people how they feel and expect a response. Like if they don’t care for me and I go asking them to share their feelings they’ll pull out a gun and shoot me. So I go the indirect route and hope I can influence them to meet me halfway. But they just think I’m like navel gazing and don’t give a fuck about them. My conditioning to think I’m insignificant has truly done a number on every connection I’ve tried to make it’s ridiculous in so many nuanced ways like this is why I said I’m not compatible with anyone on earth period
