☠️🤡☠️

(@/taylorndean on twitter)

me: ʷʰʸ ᵃᵐ ᶦ ˢᵒ ᵘⁿˡᶦᵏᵃᵇˡᵉˀ

BURN IN HELL YOU STUPID SLUT

we'd get somewhere

every time they start to clear up

I was screaming. Fading in and out of reality. My eyes felt like they weren’t apart of my body, like they needed to be removed. Large marbles stuck in my skull, not apart of me. I wanted to take them out. Get rid of the intrusion. It hurt to see. It hurt to hear. It hurt to smell. It hurt to breath. It hurt to feel. It hurt to exist. I was breaking. Not like shattering, like stretching. Like pulling an elastic band until it almost snapped. It was pain. The epitome of pain. I couldn’t think. All I knew was pain. Pain Pain Pain. My whole body was pulling me everywhere, everywhere but where it should be. I was dying. I knew I was dying. I wasn’t accepting it. I just knew. I thought god was punishing me. Playing with my body and stretching it out and making me moan in agony for his pleasure. A scream ripped its way through my throat like vomit. My chest was caving in on itself like a black hole, destroying me in every way without consequence. I hated any deity that existed in those moments. It was never over. It tore me apart. I was finished and it felt defeat over and over and over. It was never going to end.