you are vain, and you're heartless

This is the complete opposite to all the crazy bridezilla Facebook posts from last year

The dudes head beside the salad kills me

lmfao

My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way *Phantom of the Opera overture*

it made me laugh in an unholy fashion at four in the goddamn morning, so here, have this.

When ur like: “this show is very good.  In fact, it is too good.  I want something I can watch with 30% brain and this is a minimum 60% brain show.”

I suddenly understand why jewelry is expensive

But also, gold, diamonds, etc are super inflated which really sucks because that $1600 half carat ring is only $800 at cost

the idea that oddish will just lie dizzily on the ground until given help gives me life