Simply Human

Humans, on our own, can’t breathe or see well underwater. However, with a simple mask and snorkel we are equipped to observe the wonders under the sea. Meditating doesn’t require any equipment but it is like putting on a mask and snorkel to observe the wonders of our minds.

Meditation is not complicated. It is essentially holding your body still and focusing your attention somewhere. Focusing your attention on your breath is like dropping anchor. Although your attention may wander, your breath continues its rhythmic ins and outs and you can bring your attention back there, again and again, and be centered and alert in the present moment.

Trauma takes a heavy toll on the body's energy reserves. To constantly be in a state of fight, flight, fawn, freeze, to be stressed out so often and so hard, it's exhausting.

And when you're that tired, even the most minor of tasks feel like scaling a mountain.

You aren't lazy, you're struggling. You're fighting against the toll your trauma takes.

You should NOT feel, like you're walking on egg shells around them.

You should NOT feel afraid, to be yourself around them.

You should NOT feel, that you have to hide yourself around them.

These are Red Flags for toxic people that deserves to be cut out from your life. Remember, you are more valuable than you think. You do matter and you do deserve love.

ADVICE FOR FRIENDSHIP, RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE

if you feel you´re constantly walking on thin ice

if you want to avoid conflict

if hearing theyre problems make you unconfortable

if youre more anxious ,stress or just not happy when theyre around

if youre afraid that you did something wrong (when is them who did it)

If you feel guilty for enjoying stuff they dont like

if you feel u cant talk freely

if they constantly said theyre going to leave a chat, eliminate theyre social medias or more

If they try to make you cancel someone because they have a bad experience (they as for this constantly)

CONGRATULATIONS!! YOURE WHIT A TOXIC PERSON (OKEY not congratulations, i actually am worried about you but remember that you need that this happens constantly and toguether to be toxic for real, if u or your friend did it once in ur life is okey, we all been there)

please leave them, yes is hard, yes is gonna suck, yes they are going to try to hit you where it hurt the more and stay whit you

but know that staying might and will be WORSE!! youre going to regreat it, youre going to be miserable!! and youre mental health is going to decline

HORRIBLY

ALSO

if this person tell you this phrase that “many people abandon me” or “they just stop talking to me”……………..THAT ACTUALLY CAN BE A VERY BIG UGLY RED FLAG !!! like…JUST NO DUDE!! MOVE TO ANOTHER PERSON, AM NOT JOCKING YOU , there is a reason why people stop talking to them ,  most times is because theyre toxic (please if u can make sure is that, cause at times is people just being mean to small minorities)

And don’t let ANYONE try to convince you otherwise. If someone irreversibley hurt you, and you want to forgive them, that’s your choice.

But letting them back into your life immediately will make you potentially vulnerable. It’s what abusers want. They’ll hear you say “I forgive you” and use that as an excuse to worm their way back in:

“Can’t things go back to normal?” “So you don’t REALLY forgive me if you’re not going to still be my friend / partner?” “So you’re just saying that? You don’t really care about me?”

If they sound like the above, they don’t care about you. They only wanted an excuse to be in your life again, and get the guilt off of their chest.

Gaslights you 24/7

Constantly invalidates your feelings

Takes advantage of both your kindness and forgiveness.

Utilises your traumas to their advantage

Engages in victim-blaming behaviour and never hesitates to belittle you

Never bother to fix their mistakes, sees themselves as above consequences or just "doesn't care" about your feelings yet are the first ones crawling back to you to fix their problems.

Constantly lies to weasel their way out of facing their actions and when confronted with proof they will protest, telling you to leave it be or that it's not a big deal, this of course only applies to you, now, anything they feel is priority and god forbid you put yourself first after having been thoroughly psychologically abused.

They relapse back into patterns of faux apologies that are never followed up with a change or any attempt to undo the damage, very moral grandstanding and conceited, will never see or care how how their actions affect others.

I have had plenty of experience with toxic people in the past, particularly the last one I came to despise, and I'm a naturally nurturing and gentle person who gives anything up for their friends, for me to hate a friend they ought to be the worst, someone who has proved beyond reasonable doubt that they want to inflict pain

Things you CAN do.

Surround yourself with your true friends, those who you know care about you and have proved themselves trustworthy.

Don't rant at the person who hurt you, this is extremely difficult, when one's trust has been violated in every way imaginable, to give the cold shoulder and pretend that person doesn't exist is excruciatingly hard, but it is for the best, if they know their actions get to you it will only make the cycle longer, break it.

Feeling invalidated is very common, especially when there's so much you want to get off your chest, remember that your feelings are valid no matter what.

Look at yourself in the mirror, are YOU happy with the choices you made? can you see a respectable moral individual who has done the right thing by sticking up for yourself? then, that's all that matters, nothing the toxic person says does.