Binghe Please Be My Wife

Xiang Fei has a side gig of scamming people through the phone. He makes up ridiculous stories and tries to get someone to send him money so he can stay alive.

One day he calls Shen Yuan.

After SY is done listening, he chews him out for all the plot-holes and ridiculous development in his story. Like, dude, if you want to scam me, at least make an effort!!

XF: Bro… you literally listened to me for 90 minutes. You LIKED the story.

SY: As IF. I MAY have been slightly interested at one point but YOU NEVER ELABORATED ON THAT. Little old me gave YOU the benefit of the doubt!! And you FUMBLED!!!

XF: Naaaah, you loved it. Soooooo…

SY: FUCK YOU

XF calls him back regularly and gets lovingly chewed out. It’s actually kinda nice to have somebody who pays so much attention to his rambling. Reminds him of a certain top commenter on his webnovel.

SY: HOPELESS. I gave you so many pointers already! How are you scamming people with these kinds of scenarios?! Can’t keep track of your characters! Of plot points! So many dropped, you want somebody to trip on all the loose ends?! What are you, fucking Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky?!

XF: …

SY: No.

XF: …

SY: NO.

XF: …Surprise?

SY: NO! HACK AUTHOR, HACK SCAM CALLER

XF: Bro <3 Not only did you not block my number but you also pay for my novel? Can’t believe I’m doing fan calls now!

SY: *throws the phone out the window*

Eventually the two of them got separated, probably because of the huge gap in economic class. They both thought they’d never see each other again.

Fast forward to present day. Shen Yuan discovers this webnovel named Proud Immortal Demon Way and decides to read it because, well, why not? It starts out nice and tragic, with Luo Binghe losing his mother and heading to Cang Qiong Mountain and being taken as a disciple by— SHEN QINGQIU???

No, he thinks, surely it must be a coincidence. Surely Shen Qingqiu the Scum Villain and Shang Qinghua the Spy are happy accidents. He reads on. Shang Qinghua dies. He tells himself this surely means the author can’t be Xiang Fei, because he wasn’t suicidal (ha.) Then Shen Qingqiu gets imprisoned, and then he gets sticked, and Luo Binghe is still not happy.

He then calls, arranged VIP treatment for Xiang Fei who wakes up being moved to a private room and all the luxuries and then the most beautiful man he has ever seen walks in and sneers at him causing Xiang Fei to immediately pop a boner.

Meanwhile Shen Yuan immediately starts writing a "CEO blackmails Innocent Highschool Student into Indecent Dealings - dubcon, coercion, loss of innocence" danmei in his head the moment he sees Xiang Fei's soft and easily bullied appearance and his babyface

(Never mind that Xiang Fei is 8 years older and the cynical, foul mouthed, porn merchant of PIDW. Somehow that doesn't ruin it.)

Shen Yuan roasts him and his writing and his stupidity at getting electrocuted, tells him to pay off his debt he will be moving in with Shen Yuan and writing for an audience of one and when Xiang Fei starts crying out of a mix of confusion, relief, fear, horniness, and an automatic response to new situations, Shen Yuan suddenly marches off and finds a private place to have a furious (in both senses) wank session

Cue Shen Yuan trying to live out his Evil CEO taking advantage of Innocent Xiang Fei fantasies without:

1. Actually doing anything that might be harmful or non consensual to Xiang Fei

2. Admitting he's gay or horny for Xiang Fei at all

Meanwhile Xiang Fei is increasingly writing porn scenarios that say "Take advantage of me! I am begging to be taken advantage of! Will suck dick for free but making me do it to 'pay off a debt' is a hot idea and I am here for it" without actually saying it for Shen Yuan to read and critique

Because neither of them will ask for sex like a normal person

When they finally have the kinky sex they have both been trying to orchestrate without actually orchestrating it they will both have individual breakdowns about taking advantage of the other one and manipulating them