Nothing Special

Feeling his brother’s warm embrace, Owen looked over with a small smile. Adoration showing in his deep brown eyes for a fleeting moment before they closed. A sigh left him as he fell back onto the bed with Cole, cuddling up against him to keep in the warmth. Owen deserved some alone time just so he could think about everything. However, cuddling with Cole was much better then being alone with his own thoughts. Smiling softly he curled up on Cole’s chest, his hand moving to feet the older’s heartbeat. He had grown accustomed to Cole’s warm, affectionate gestures. Cuddling had become second nature almost, given that they shared one bed in the small apartment. Owen could hardly complain Cole kept him safe and warm. He made him feel like nothing could get him, not even his own nightmares. If he did have a nightmare, Cole was always there to soothe him. “I miss mom…” He whispered softly, fingers curling into a fist as he moved to nuzzle into his brother’s chest. Drowning himself in Cole’s scent he found comfort. He wished they could just lie here forever, just the two of them alone in the world. Before his mind could start to go back to the matter of their mother Owen closed his eyes. He wished Cole would let him get a job but he already knew how Cole felt on the matter. He didn’t approve and wanted him to stay in school. No matter how many times Owen begged him Cole didn’t seem to care, all he did was stress the importance of Owen’s education. If she was to ever it bring up during one of their talks he was sure that Cole would start complaining. Now he could only obey his brother and spread the smile across his lips as he always did. It was a thing that had become what others expected of him, this smile that was, in every way his smile. However, it was fake in every way, just no one knew any different. And as Owen smiled more brightly upon the world, he hoped that no one would ever see how cracked and broken he really was. He continued to look past his older brother’s flaws and bad habits. He remained oblivious to the double-life Cole led behind closed doors and a hazy fog of drugs.

Why? Because Cole would do no wrong. He was perfect, he would always be perfect. And Owen? Owen was the broken one who had troubles of his own. Cole would never know about the shoe box with rolls of money, the sticky fingers that slipped wallets from pockets and purses, he would never know of the many drunken nights Owen spent alone when he was gone. Rarely did Owen think about the consequences of his actions. Life has too short, his mother’s death had proved that. Thinking hurt. Reacting was better. Reacting was simple and easy. With an annoyed sigh, somewhat resigned, he rubbed his left temple, trying to banish all difficult thoughts. At least he didn’t have to face the world alone. Feeling Cole nudge him gently with his nose, the boy stirred from his thoughts. Turning his head to look at Cole wide doe-eyed orbs blinked. The smile that swept across Cole’s face stirred something in him. What he wouldn’t give to see that smile every moment. It felt like home, Cole felt like home. No, Cole was home. He was more then thankful for what Cole did for them, for what he did for him. That was merely one of many reasons why he loved his brother. Cole could do no wrong… Cole was perfect… Cole was his one and only. Feeling the hand brush his hair away, Owen leaned into the touch with closed eyes. A smile slipped across his lips when suddenly he felt something press into them. Eyelids fluttered and for a moment Owen merely stared dumbfounded at his brother. A multitude of feelings washed over him yet he didn’t pull away. Curiosity sweeping into his fleshy canvas. He loved Cole… But was it possible to love your brother in more then one way? Thinking on it for a second, his lips began to act on their own accord. Shyly, innocently they responded by pressing back for a moment or two. Pulling back quickly Owen’s brows furrowed, trembling fingers flew to his lips. A buzz radiated through them before it started to spread over his body. Slowly it drew him closer and closer to Cole…

This was wrong… this was very wrong…

But Owen wanted more. No, he wanted to feel closer to Cole.

Owen was the one that was pure, needed to be protected, the one that could change the world. It was obvious from the day they realized the boy couldn't hear, that he was the one that needed to see the world only as a place without the crime and things that went bump in the night. At a young age Cole saw the world as it really was and so when he realized that his baby brother had lost one of his main senses, he had to make sure he never saw how Cole saw the world. It was his job. He just never realized that life had other plans for them, that it wouldn't be as easy as he hoped. The day their mother die was the first day he truley failed. It was nothing the could do, honestly it wasn't his fault but he still felt like it was. The next time was when their uncle laid a hand on them for the first time. It had been Cole's fault, he had wanted to go see the newest Pixar movie, Owen just tagged along. It was also the day he knew in order to protect his brother he was going to have to get them out of there.

Causing him to fall down the rabbit hole.

Cole was sixteen when he lost his virginity, 'sold' it to a highest bidder. He went online, joined an online agency and the rest is history. It wasn't ideal, in fact it hurt a lot but it got him cash but it was enough for him to realize that he could make money off of this, that he had a  look some clientele wanted - the young boyish virginal thing - and they were willing to pay. It was his ticket to get him and Owen away from that hell hold and he took it. He'd do anything for Owen in order to keep him safe and from seeing how fucked up the world, and now his brother, really was.

Cole knew this was probably considered wrong. Kissing his brother like this, but when he was all you had, when his lips began to move back against his, how could that feel wrong?Never had something felt so right to Cole. Never had he felt like he was protecting his baby brother more than in that moment. Being able to hold him close, his arms wrapped around him tightly, did he feel like he could keep the world from touching Owen. His brother was his, his to protect and to love. Yet when Owen pulled back, rose a hand to his lips, eyes blown wide in shock Cole began to doubt himself.

"Uhm, it’s a lot of..time alone. In my flat. With my tools. Living ninety-five percent of the time with no set sleep schedule or routine because inspiration is a fickle thing. And then that loss of control bites you when you need to follow a strict schedule for the other five percent of the time, concerning the business end of things. I don’t do book tours, never have. I- I wouldn’t do well. It would be- It’s not the best idea due to circumstances, although I’d love to meet my readers. You know, have that dream of sitting in a library, reading your work aloud to a group of people who are solely interested in you bringing the words on paper to life. I think about what it might be like, sometimes."

Bentley had been staring at his fork the entire time he was talking, slowly twirling the utensil around on the paper plate, sliding the plastic tips of the prong into rouge icing that had fallen off the cake and into the plate around it. This was the most he had talked about himself, actually about himself, to anyone for a long time. His carefully written speeches in every meeting for months had been all about talking himself up and self promotion - a fact Sarah has insisted was of utmost importance. But this? This was real.

It was silent for a moment before he finally spoke. "I work everyday and I need to work everyday to pay the bills and put food in the table. Yet sometimes it doesn't work out for me...like this afternoon's got canceled. I mean I'll figure out how to make due without the cash but...but it hard, dude..." He sighed and ran a hand over his face, a glimmer of how rugged and worn down he was. "So I know I'm just a," he lowered his voice, "prostitute," bringing it back up to his normal tone he continued, "so what I'm saying had little meaning but if it's what you want to do go for it. Go read out loud in a library or school, meet your readers because there's over a million people in this country, someone would love to meet you....as if not then it sucks to be them because I honestly think you're a pretty cool guy."