Diealot

my attention span is so fried i need subtitles for conversations happening directly in front of me

sometimes it feels less like “living” and more like “continuing”

i distance myself when i feel unwanted. i won't beg for space in someone's life. if my presence doesn't matter, my absence won't either. i choose peace over forcing connection.

emotionally i’m at that part of the movie where the main character just stares out the window

I over explain myself because I grew up defending myself. Not because I’m guilty or lying. Because no one believed me

Oh I feel so disgusting with myself.

Why does even simply existing feel like a chore

the traumatized urge to over explain things so that i'm not misunderstood

Lately the loneliness has been crushing. I crave touch, I crave closeness. It hurts. It hurts so much.

when I forget to stay busy for one second and suddenly I get a wave of everything that has ever hurt me.

being self-aware doesn’t stop the spiral, it just means i get to watch it happen and hate myself for it.

When the lights go off I can’t help feeling like a failure

Nothing beats waking up before the sun has fully risen, I like the calm moments before the storm. When I feel all there

Fuck off please stay I hate you I love you