am just a wee froot

a lot of media assumes robots would be immortal but i think its a lot more interesting to explore robots dealing with their parts wearing down and battery life shortening and all the horrible little failings that come with being a complicated machine. sure they can replace parts but you'd assume you cant completely ship of theseus them, or it'd have pretty big rammifications on their sense of identity. idk. give me robots with distinct, unique signs of aging. as a treat.

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

yup, pretty funny. (reaches down and picks up a random inconspicuous rock off the ground and turns the base of it to face you and you see that etched into the bottom is the joke you just made with an inscribed date from 5 years ago and my signature)

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it with the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

I actually passed away quite a few years ago, but I'm a very private person and never told anybody.

LOL but seriously release the hounds

if you shot me with a gun id pribably be pretty mad but due to my laconic and forgetful nature i bet we could still be friends

Cyclists are perverts of a high degree

Head to toe in skin tight polyester, mitochondria destroyed due to eating nut butter, sperm count in the negative, prostate completely decimated from sitting on the tiny ass seats. And they’re constantly swerving into busy streets at 180mph trying to get crushed by cars as if that’s more socially acceptable than publicly jerking off. SHAME ON THEM