They should invent a life that’s structured without being monotonous and challenging without being demanding and eventful without being stressful and peaceful without being boring

never "look inside" yourself btw i just tried it and there was already someone in there looking back it was so awkward

not to be dramatic but sometimes i feel like i don't belong anywhere on this earth like maybe all there is for me is perpetual loneliness + constant desire to go back to a place that doesn’t exist anymore

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

letting go is so easy until you’re folding your laundry or cooking or walking home at dusk or lying in bed trying to sleep or stuck at a party you didn’t really want to go to or or or

me for 3 years straight: “sorry i haven’t been myself lately”

thinking about how ursula k leguin said "what goes too long unchanged destroys itself. The forest is forever because it dies and dies and so lives" and how everyday i wake up slightly different and i can feel myself shed the skin of who i used to be slowly, slowly, until i look back and can scarcely recognise who i was... but also she is still a part of me, part of the leaf litter and the humus, supporting me as i send new roots down and new leaves stretching up to the sunlight

the street is eerily quiet. no cars. where's the moon? no noise. is everyone asleep yet? no lights