June is an Alien

Firstly, excuse my English (haha) and get ready to read a long text. Take some tea and something to eat, relax and think about that.

I’m part of the people who is influenced by the “healthy trend”. So I thought a lot about this question: do I do it for me or for people? I stopped sport and healthy eating for a moment because I felt like i didn’t need it anymore. I felt I just needed to please myself eating and doing what I want. But I realized I really want this dream body, for this summer especially. I really do it for me...

...but also for people. Shall I explain ? Well. I’m not in the beauty standards: I don’t make up a lot, I don’t dress up like everyone (I don't follow the fashion, but I don't either have my own style), I don't have a really pretty body or long blond hair. I’m just the basic nobody looks at. When i was younger, I didn't care aboute my appearance. But I was harrased by people in school. Nothing too bad or important, but it affected me and still affects me sometimes. I was so shy and unconfident, so it was easy to make me fall. But today, I want my revenge: it would be cool if these people who hated on me and thought I was weak could see how I’m strong now, and even if they don’t really care about me anymore, I at least want to prove to my friends, these who are not always nice with me -you know, these friends who are glad when you feel bad because it permits them imagine their life if better than at least one person's life, but you stay their friends because they're cool anyway- that I can do great things. This people who known me at this difficult period of my life have to know that I grew up and I’m different now. They always treat me like a child who knows nothing in life, you know, and it’s pretty annoying. I would like to show them. Show them who I am now, because it have always been me, I just changed my vision on some things and I’m now less afraid to express myself. So, yes, in my transformation, i think of what people will say. But is there really a problem with that ? I just pay attention, I don't change to please people. The way I want to look like isn't for them. The change will show them things, but I change for me and in order to become what I want to be. See : the way people see a pretty girl is not the way I want to look. I want to be fit and have abs (and obviously a pretty booty haha), whereas in people's head a pretty girl is all about makeup, skinny, on high heels  and well dressed. I just want a great body which will let me be confident. Not a body that will make everyone say « she's perfect » : I'm not, nobody is.

I still stress a lot when i have to talk to people, I still have insecurities. I want to transform them in force. And I will get this force in a new diet, a new routine, a new life. That's why I continue this « healthy way of life ».

Also, I start to think of having a boyfriend: what does it feel like to be in love, or to be loved? I’m 16, I never had a bf, I know I’m not on girls so the problem is not here. The problem, I think, comes from the fact that I’m not confident with myself, and people feel your insecurities, and someone shy and discreet doesn’t often attract people. I think this makes me miss cool persons. Maybe I could intrest someone but as I don’t dare talk he/she thinks I don’t want to talk, and I miss a good meeting... Why do i want a boyfriend? I feel lonely and want hugs (haha), and i don’t know what it is so... Why do I need people's attention ? Because I want to meet people who make me happy and make me progress. So, new people. Why do i care of my appearance, of what people will think? FIRST IMPRESSSION guys. It’s really important for me, and when I meet someone, if at the first minute I don’t feel good with this person or i don’t feel I have something in common with him/her, it will be difficult for me to be really friendly. Maybe I'm too difficult, but as I quickly judge a person, (not only on her appearance obviously, don’t worry) I’m afraid of being judged wrong without a second chance. To me, what you look like physically reflcets your inside: some special moves that you do people analyze unconsciously show them who you are, if your clothes fits you then people know you are a self-confident person, if you have a sporty body they will know if they share this passion of sport with you, etc. So I want to have the body and the style that show people who I am, i want to assert myself. My new way of life will be a revolution for me and also a revenge, I will be myself at 200% because i didn’t dare to do it before.

Here are my reasons of why I want to be “healthy and fit”. I don't do it « well ». I go in fast foods sometimes, I don’t really like healthy food because it takes more time than cooking pasta and an egg. But i’m on my way to become healthier in my own manner. What I want to say to you is; ask yourself the good questions. Know what you are doing and why. The perfect body doesn’t exist. The body you dream of is perfect for YOU only if it’s possible: some people will never be skinny, some others will never achieve to take weight. That’s a fact you can’t change, if it’s your nature. If you are influenced by something, think about that: do you want to follow this tendence because you discovered something that is a solution for you or do you want to follow it because everyone does it ? Do you want to change for you or do you feel good and just want to change what people tell you to change ? Forcing yourself to change if you don’t really want to isn’t a good thing. Don’t think a change is always positive. Don’t listen to what the society tells you: you are beautiful the way you are if you feel good, don’t let anyone tell you the contrary just because you don’t follow a model. But if you don’t feel good, then change what is possible to change by yourself.. It can be an habit, it can be your diet, but it also can be mental. Don’t think you do everything good, following every “society rules”. It's not good, but being totally in margin isn’t either. Follow your own rules, those that work for you and your happiness. You have the right and obligation to feel good: you are beautiful just the way you are, and if you don’t think so, then do something. Be yourself, do what makes you feel good.

I told you why I want to change and why I want you to know before starting any change. I don't want you to do mistakes as I did. I probably don't know you, but I want you to be happy. Hope you'll find a way of life that fits you. Love yourself and if you want people to like you, just love yourself first. It promise it can work.

Have a nice day / a good night, in fact have a good life. I wish you the best and a lot of chocolate.