Had this idea last night and might delve further into it if the mood comes back, but I just couldnât leave it in my mind to rot. This honestly would keep going until the inevitable birth, but I felt I might just write as much here as a cliffhanger for the real deal later on. Enjoy!
:)
You had always been in charge. You wore the pants. You were the breadwinner. You always enjoyed the way he did what he was told.
You loved the way he aimed to please you. How much he just tried to avoid any confrontation because he always seemed to know what you needed (out of countless routines).
You even loved taking charge in the bedroom. You loved the way he whimpered for you. How much he submitted to you. Cried for your body. Aimed to keep you pleased and fully at the mercy of your own needs. He was like a ball of putty made to be melded in your hands.
You had finally made the biggest decision. YOU wanted a baby. YOU wanted to make the family you always wanted. And HE was going to give it to you no matter how many sleepless, arousing and draining nights (for him) it took.
So he smiled when you finally caved that night, begging him to treat you like a breeder. You wanted him to take control. You wanted to feel him finally make you the mother you always dreamed of becoming.
And one day, you got your wish.
But now? Well something was completely wrong. No matter how much you tried, you never felt truly in control. You could tell and he could see it written all over you. This pregnancy was taking control. You let him take control one night⌠and surrendered your control for months now. So long as your body held his baby so well inside your body, you were at his and his babyâs mercy. Your body being changed. Transformed. Being used as a tool to create life. You couldnât help but let yourself slowly slip into that role. To see yourself doing things for him and his baby. You always put the baby first. You always did what you felt the baby wanted and needed. You werenât the first priority anymore. Not even for your own body.
Slowly you watched yourself change. Your body growing week after week. A small, Lima bean sized being forming into a larger, more defined being as your body continuously created room to grow. The little one so tightly nestled within your womb, now calling all the shots. From the symptoms hitting you hard in the earlier weeks, to the intense, late night cravings that had you in the drive thru begging for something greasy, you could only remember who you once were.
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And that statement never held so much weight until right now.
She moved there, exchanging glances as the music bumped around through the speakers of the club. Her eyes making expressions that spoke more than any words could do in that moment. She wasnât drinking. She hadnât for months now. Yet her body still had that same fire that she did the night they had shared drinks and met at this same club.
Now here she was, hands in her hair. Her hands moving lower to trace the sides of her body as the overhead lights swooshed across the dance floor. Her dress flowing so effortlessly despite it being shorter and tighter.
Her eyes glancing back at you, making sure you were still in an arms reach as she kept herself close to you. For resting, obviously. But as the song drew to a close, her breathing came in heaved efforts. Her hand moving down to her waist while the other moved behind her back, adding support. She waddled back to you. Her full-term belly keeping her anchored as she finally got back to your side. But as she had spent all her energy, relying on your shoulder and the chair as a resting station for her pregnant body, she couldnât help but glance back up at you. She moved the hair out of her face, making sure you could see the expression. Her eye lids squinting in a teasing way as her smile crooked into the same one you fell in love with that night.
That night.
That look.
That smile. It all led to this moment.
To that belly.
To your baby. The two of you now in a bond that started in the same location you stood in. It wouldnât be long before the both of you would have to wait for another date night. So why not spend it now, even with the extra effort.
Just had this thought that started with a pregnant woman dancing at a club. Let me know what you think or any criticism you might have. Hope you enjoyed!
Yeah yeah yeah, summer rapid pregnancy is fun and all, seeing a pregnancy belly slowly forming through a bikini or one piece in plain view, or a pregnancy belly not noticeable until suddenly it's peaking over your swim trunks, but winter rapid pregnancy is just as good. A baggy sweater and a jacket that you don't even notice you're growing in until it's too tight, or people start telling you that the winter is a good time to be pregnant, or asking when you're due. Waddling around with a jacket that pops open suddenly and realizing the due date is sooner than you thought because the jacket hid most of the bulk ugh
As I have returned home from college, I also returned to my previous job.
Because of this, Iâve started to see some familiar faces, enjoy my time with my coworkers, and also see happy families.
With those happy families also comes happy expecting families. Expectant mothers with cravings galore, ordering plates filled with stacked proteins. Plates upon plates of food for the baby that is calling the shots on their ravenous cravings.
Something salty? Sweet? Savory? Just bring it all. Extra side of this? Extra portion of that? Not a problem, Iâll bring it right out for you.
In my training weâre taught to say yes to any request a guest may make. But who am I to even try and deny a pregnant mamaâs hungry wishes? And they all range in their appearances. Itâs like seeing a customer character in a cutscene.
Belly barely contained by an ill-fitting tank top that canât slide over the exposed navel. The ones who actually fit the tight top over the curve of their belly. The ones that just let it be on full display. A sundress that just barely hides the bump, but her hands keep outlining the puffed curve of her midsection. Not to mention the one who comes in wearing a form-fitting dress, letting the belt be on fully display as a mound of fabric. Waddling from her seat on the patio to the parking lot with her full term belly covered by some strained, light blue fabric. Bellies galore yet I remain professional.
All these fantasies are for my head and not one to take out on strangers. Thank you for your time and hope you enjoyed the read.
only kidding. Life got in the way and had to step back from the fun of tumblr. So so so very sorry to anyone I was messaging with. I hadnât forgotten about you, just wanted to keep my priorities straight so I wasnât a burden during our time talking.
things are going to be slow (as Iâve found employment but have to navigate my schedule) but I will get back to things soon.
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I doubt I used that title correctly but whatever.
It's that time again. These winter months leading to many couples cuddling and leading to more. Yet here you are, waiting.
That urge to be cuddled...
To be toyed with...
To be someone's something even in such a small moment.
All to then be turned into something more.
That one night where the stars seemed to align and you begged without much worry of the consequences. Now look where they got you.
Pillows surrounding you. Blankets covering them and yourself. Nothing fit correctly. You feel hot and cold to such a bipolar level you're unsure if you should stay in or out of the blanket. Everything about you feel heavy. Your center of gravity shifting to the obvious beacon of your burdened belly. The way your navel no longer stays inside, showing off for all to see. Your chest heaving for breaths, waiting for some relief when the baby drops even just a bit. Not to mention the added pressure from all that colostrum soon to turn to milk while you left your old bras in the first trimester.
But how could you have known that you'd be like this? It's not like you were thinking it would happen after one time. Surely it wouldn't work so well. Yet here you are.
Full.
Ripe.
Swollen.
And counting down the days of your hopeful due date.
kinky stuff is nice sure but the intimacy of pregnancy turns me on so so much.
the way your partner's eyes widen at being told that you're pregnant. that their baby is currently occupying your womb. they tenderly care for you through the bad parts of the first trimester. they bring you water, rub your back as you vomit, fix you soup and teas for your stomach. even though there's no noticeable bump, they still rub your belly, which admittedly makes you feel better due to the stomach aches and bloating.
during the second trimester they get so excited seeing your bump finally come in. they insist on you wearing clothes that hug your belly. they cant keep your hands off of you, telling everyone that you're carrying their baby. they're constantly touching your belly or your widening hips. they join you in your frequent naps and even try your weird cravings.
during the third trimester it gets difficult again, this time due to being so big, but they support you so well. they bring you whatever you need so you dont have to get up. and if you do need to get up, they make sure to help you. when your belly feels too heavy, they hold it for you, lifting the weight off your poor back. they love feeling the baby through your skin. they often cuddle with you, rubbing your belly and occasionally poking your flesh to provoke the baby into kicking.
leading up to labor, they do everything to comfort you. they hold you and tell you how wonderful you are as you get false contractions, which only get worse leading up to the actual birth. during the actual birth, they focus on making you comfortable. they refill your water bottle as many times as you need and they bring you the occasional snack. they hold your hand and rub your hair as you contract. when you push, they're holding your hand and kissing your head, telling you that you're doing a perfect job and they love you so much. when they finally see the baby, they're over the moon. they cant decide whether to fawn over you or the baby. you did such a good job and they couldnt be more in love than they already are.
(For context Iâm a server part time while on break from university. I also worked as an intern at this restaurant to undergo the manager program but had to leave for school.)
Was working a shift with some of my favorite people. There is this manager who Iâve had some feelings for, but never really approached. I found out recently that, while I was away at college, she was talking about me. Not in a bad way either. She was spreading my name like it was a sacred gospel, telling some of the new hires that since I was coming back, shifts would be amazing. And yes, they did improve. I do my work as best as I can and I feel like I actually can flex my social skills while working there. Not just with guests but with my coworkers.
Now on to the reason for this post. The same manager that was preaching my name was working alongside me yesterday for an opening shift. Both her and I really mesh well and we both know to rely on one another. Especially since I had known her since my internship (which both her and I went through a horror story of a shift together) we really knew how to make the best of slow days. First ticket finally comes through and ready to take the order out.
Jay: Am I good to sell number 44?
A: If you do that, Iâll give you my first bornâŚ
WHAT??? I know itâs probably just a figure of speech and show of appreciation but wow. So obviously without much thought I said âWhat was that?â And she brushed it off as if it were nothing. She was still smiling and looking at me like I was oblivious.
As soon as I passed her with the food, I had my little phrase ready. âI heard it the first time, just wanted to hear you say it again.â
Itâs so fucking cheesy and cliche but I thought it would be funny to play around. But there was thoughts again floating around of the two of us (Iâm a hopeless romantic alright) with one another, sharing a future. Do I think itâll actually happen? Probably not. Will the entire manager to server dynamic also get in the way? More than likely. But would it be fun? Yes.
But weâll see how things turn out when her and I go out for lunch after my last shift there to finish out my winter break.
(also trying out a new tag for my posts just to see if I can keep them organized)
I've never written anything like this in my entire life, be gentle.
POV: 1st and 2nd.
Tags: birth kink, clothing birth, birth fetish, home birth, college students, friends to lovers (?), unexpected twins, reader is not gendered
When my water broke, you were rightfully scared.
We were in my dorm with me, filming some stupid videos to quell our boredom. Which is what left me standing there in a short skirt and thigh highs that were both now damp and clinging to my heavily pregnant body.
You offered to take me to a doctor, and I adamantly refused. I had gotten this far without my parents knowing about my pregnancy, and I was going to continue that trend. While I was old enough to drink and go to college on my own, I absolutely wasn't above lying to my parents about...huge life events.
My labor was mercifully (and intimidatingly) fast. I found myself pacing my dorm, whimpering and leaning against various furniture items while you anxiously gathered some towels, pillows, and for some reason, a basin of water. I was in so much pain I didn't even question your frantic behavior.
"Ow, ow, ow!"
I sobbed, my legs buckling as I sat on the side of the bed. I had long ditched my soaked underwear, but the skirt remained. I demanded some sort of dignity.
"It hurts, something's moving, it hurts!" I squealed.
You were just...staring at me.
In the end of it all, I couldn't blame you, I was in a very uncomfortable situation. However, I could never predict why you were staring.
In the moment, I could never see myself the way you did. After all, I was absolutely adorable, clad in a short black skirt and thigh highs. I was vulnerable, my cheeks flushed pink and my baby bump pressing stubbornly against my clothes. Each whimper was cuter and longer than the last, my pacing only quickening my trip to the end I was not prepared for.
Had I always looked that pretty?
I didn't even notice you staring, until you didn't answer my question.
"Hey! Are you listening? I...I need you to check me."
I was clearly embarrassed. We had been best friends for years, but I was never involved with you...intimately.
This situation, of course, changed the circumstances.
I moaned softly in pain as you gently slid your fingers inside of me. You weren't quite sure what you were looking for until your fingers met the head of a baby. The head was just barely pressing against my dilated cervix.
Something about that thought stirred something deep inside you. I whimpered a little more. A contraction caused my body to squeeze around your fingers.
It was foreign and absolutely phenomenal. You slid your fingers out and admired the sight of my fluids on them, before quickly cleaning them.
When you told me I was dilated, I looked afraid. You didn't know why, but you...enjoyed the expression I made. Eyes wide, lips pouted, cheeks flushed, my breaths coming quick and causing my breasts to move gently with each one. It was borderline pornographic.
I didn't want to push.
"No, no, it's too fast, this is supposed to take so much longer, I---"
I let out a shriek as a contraction ripped through my body. It was urgent, it was demanding, and it gave me a cue: push.
Despite this, I let out a sob and crawled up onto the bed, like it was going to get me away from the situation.
"I don't want to, I don't----ahhhh!" I yelped.
You were staring at me again. There was a heat pooling in your abdomen that usually was saved for the porn you deleted your browser history after watching.
Why now?
I was laying on my back, propped up by the pillows you had placed. You slowly approached and sat so you were at my feet, peering at my pussy.
I was always vain, even in pregnancy. You swore I got waxed more often than I did my homework. You were probably right.
It gave you a perfect view. My belly would get so tight, and I would let out a sob that sent shivers down your spine. You did your best to keep your composure. Each contraction made my whole body tense and then shake.
When you told me I needed to push, I shook my head. My hair was wild, my face streaked with tears. I was fighting my body's demands.
Push, push, push.
"I want to go to a hospital, I changed my mind!"
Your gaze was fixed on my pussy. You knew that my baby was slowly but surely coming down, even without my help.
Sure, you could call an ambulance. I might give birth with the paramedics there.
Something in you decided that you didn't want that. Something in you decided that this needed to be an intimate affair.
"Ah! Oh god, no, no, ow!"
I let out another squeal.
"Please, make it stop, I want to go to a hospital! I can't!"
Your fingers were in me again. Despite the pain, despite the struggle, the baby had only moved about an inch.
I could feel the weight, like a bowling ball lodged in my pelvis. I didn't hear the pleased gasp you made. I didn't even see over my belly to see the flush on your cheeks.
"My phone is dead, where's yours?"
Your phone wasn't dead, and the ten minutes you spent pretending to look for mine were filled with me sobbing and refusing to push. My body tensed painfully with each contraction. I slammed my legs shut, like it would impede this process.
"It's fine, just breathe, you're okay."
I was so focused on the process of trying not to give birth, I never noticed you changing the angle of the camera we had been using earlier to aim towards me on the bed.
After all, I was such a pretty thing. Helpless, struggling, the edge of my skirt being the only thing attempting to give me any sort of decency.
You returned to sit at my feet, kneeling on the bed to get a better look. My body was tensing and I was moaning in agony.
"Make it stop!"
I pleaded, and you blushed a darker shade of red. You had control over me, like this, and it was intoxicating.
"I don't know where your phone is, we're going to have to do this here."
I let out a howl of pain. My body demanded that I push. I never noticed the aroused lilt to your voice.
"Ahhhh! Fuck, fuck, fuck! AHHHH!"
I screamed in desperation as I pressed my chin to my chest, spread my legs, and started to push. It didn't reward me with much, but the sensation gave me a sense of relief. I couldn't fight it, my body would continue to demand I push until this baby came out.
With that first push, you realized that you could never think about anything else. The sight of me struggling, my whole body going still as I pushed was the only thing you ever wanted to look at again. You felt goosebumps run down your spine.
"No, no, not again!"
I let out another sob, my feet sliding a little against the bed as I tried to get traction. You grabbed my legs and stabilized them.
We continued like this for a while, with you trying to ignore the heat between your legs, trying to deny the absolute arousal this was causing, while I moaned and shook in agony.
"I can't lay like this, I can't, I can't---"
So that is how I ended up on all fours. My skirt was still intact. My head and elbows rested on the bed, my ass propped up as you, still, sat staring at my laboring body.
"Oh, oh god, what is that, what is tha---AHHHH!" I let out a scream that made you wonder why nobody had called the cops.
Oh.
You saw, just barely, the beginnings of the head.
Fuck.
You couldn't deny it anymore. Watching me struggle, my ass shaking, my voice breaking with each sob, my whole body going rigid with each contraction. It was too much.
Your hand slid down into your pants. You weren't going to get through this without touching yourself.
I let out another wail, and you tried to moan as quietly as you could.
"No, no, what is that, no!"
You let out a breathy gasp, your free hand tracing the curve of my ass, and then gently touching my thigh.
"You're about to crown."
The baby's hair was just a sliver. My pussy was just barely starting to bulge. You bit down hard on your lip to keep from moaning.
"Now push."
"No! Ahhhhhh!" I sobbed, but even if I didn't want to push, my body did. I bore down, only hesitating as I was met with burning.
"No, no, no!"
"That's going to happen, now push!"
You couldn't hide the sound in your voice, but I didn't understand it in the moment. All I knew was pain.
I stretched beautifully. The baby's head was massive. While I resisted, while I struggled, never once did I tear. You gasped with pleasure as you touched yourself to the sight. I was sobbing in pain, shaking with desperation.
It was so close to a full crown.
"I wanna go home, I don't wanna do this, please make it stop!"
You were so close to cumming.
God, how did you never notice how pretty I was when I was desperate?
"Push!"
Your assertiveness startled me. I let out a wail.
"AHHHH! FUCK!"
Slowly, but surely, I got to a full crown. I was clearly built for birth. This child was large, but I was flexible. You had never seen a single hotter thing in your entire life. You lost focus, only able to focus on your hand in your pants. Fuck.
"It's coming, it's coming, oh god, oh god---"
The head slipped out. You watched, transfixed, your moans mixing with mine. You didn't even have the capacity to check for the cord.
You were so close, you were so close---
"It's---it's-----ahhhhh! FUCK! FUCK!"
The shoulders twisted. I screamed in pain, and you jammed your fist into your mouth to prevent me from hearing you scream as you came.
We were both shaking as the baby started to cry. You quickly hid the evidence of you getting off to the birth. I was so distracted with the baby I never noticed the camera.
I did, however, notice that the contractions hadn't stopped.
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I know itâs cliche but damn itâs been wracking my brain for a while.
I need to have a special type of statue that looks ancient and has the form of a very gravid and curvy woman who is clearly depicted as pregnant.
I need to give it to a friend, watching it slightly glow while they remain oblivious to the effects slowly taking over their body. The way their clothes slowly puff out with their belly swelling. How their breasts start to get sore and need some massaging. How their jeans start to dig into their waist because of their hips making room for the baby to nestle into their pelvis. And then the glow transfers, finally giving them the âpregnancy glowâ everyone always talks about.
Like damn. To see them slowly succumb to the transformation and just look down, accepting the fact that this is their life now. Their hands resting on their belly as the buttons on their jeans are off, slipped down a bit more to make their belly comfortable while the wide abdomen is exposed from their shirt no longer fitting them correctly.
Last night I had a closing shift at my job and was asked a question. âJay, do you want kids? If so, how many would you have?â
Iâve literally been thinking about it for a while and sure, Iâm young and donât have the stability (yet) to have a baby or a family with someone but Iâve definitely thought about it.
I agreed, saying that yes I would want kids, and possibly two. But I also noted that if my partner wishes to not have kids, that wouldâve been okay with me as well. As much as my page shows that I love pregnancy, thereâs still a lot to it that your pregnant partner has to go through. If they wish to put themselves through that, then Iâll agree and support them 1000% of the way through.
But then my manager chimed in. She had also been asked the question and was finally giving her answer. âIf my partner wants babies, Iâm giving him all the babies he wants.â She said it with such a smile. And it obviously was carried on with the following phrase, âI just want to be pregnant. Wearing nothing but some sweatpants and a shirt thatâs doesnât fit all the way or a crop top. I want to feel the way my belly sways in front of me and gets in the way for me.â This was the first time Iâd ever heard this type of talk from not only a coworker but also from a woman. Then I sort of looked at her, seeing the way she put her hands out as if she was holding a big belly or estimating her size at full term. It was cute but it surely made my mind rush with thoughts since this is primarily something I love.
Iâm imagining the experience of you getting me pregnant. I think about the key intimate moments we share. You fuck me deeply, intimately, holding me close and when you finish in me, I just fucking knew. I think about bouncing on you while weâre maintain a rhythm.
I think about whispering âDo itâ in your ear so you canât help yourself but to finish in me. And wrapping my legs around you to lock you in. And then fast forward.
Your hand cupping the tiny bump, kissing it, trailing downwards so you eat me out while looking at me and the bump you gave me. You kiss under my bellybutton because thatâs the most protruded out part.
I imagine you spooning me and rubbing my belly, asking what I want multiple times a day. I know youâd be so attentive, so engaged. So excited to see and feel me get bigger.
Youâd be the big spoon and drape your arm over my belly. Giving me room to roll around for comfort but starting cuddled up together every night. I like that you do that, that you want to start holding me and then adjust yourself to whatever I need and want to be more comfortable.
Mostly I imagine how youâd look at me every week. At every phase. How youâd drink me in with your eyes and look at me lovingly. Your eyes never lie. And they tell me that even now. When I feel my most awkward and heavy you still want me.
I also imagine how much youâd kiss my belly. Your lips on my growing bump is something I think about more than I care to admit. Something so intimate. So many places to begin so many paths you can trail kisses across. The intimacy of it all is⌠breathtaking. Laying your head on my belly turns me on. The intimacy of you engaging and be so attentive with my belly drives me wild. Dragging your fingers along my curves slowly stopping and gently pushing back when you feel a kick, makes me insatiable for you.
My favorite part of being uncomfortably large, round, heavy, struggling to breath and walk? Itâs you being at my beck and call. Youâre happily in service of me. Constantly engaged in the pregnancy process. Heaving me up now that I canât stand up on my own. Lifting my belly to alleviate back pain for a short while. Giving me your clothes to wear because none of mine fit. Getting me my cravings all the time. Carrying your baby is coming with so many perks.
I love when your hands are on my protruding belly in public. I love feeling you subtly tell others Iâm yours while Iâm so aggressively large I canât even walk right anymore.
We still have time and already talk about the next one and how much fun our next pregnancy will be. I look at this big bump and already imagine the next little bump potruding out of my hips again.
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While I by no means came up with the McPreggo concept, I am a very big fan of it, so I wrote up a hypothetical menu for fun! This menu got a surprising amount of attention and I received a bunch of suggestions for future items. So here, Iâve implemented more of them and given the menu another content update! I tried to fit as many ideas as I could, but if I missed yours, send another anon and Iâll work it in next time! Full menu under the cut!
Every item can be ordered individually or in a combo! Numbered combos come with your choice of a side, and a drink! Different sides have different effects, try them all! [Items suggested anonymously have a ~ with a link to their originating ask]
#1 The McPreggo Burger
The original filler-upper! Carry a singleton in minutes with this mouth watering single quarter pound patty cheeseburger, with tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!
#2 The Twinner
Twice as filling, twice as heavy, go full term with twins with TWO quarter pound patties, with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces!
#3 The Triple Stack
Sensing a pattern? Go big with triplets, with three whole quarter pound patties (Thatâs 12 oz of meat!) with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, diced onion, pickles, and your choice of sauces! (Warning, Doctorâs note required for purchase)
#4 The Breaded Babymaker
A mouth watering crispy chicken sandwich topped with lettuce and mayo, on a sesame seed bun! 50/50 odds for a singleton or twins!
#5 The Labor-Inducer
Well⌠not QUITE real labor, but this breaded chicken sandwich packs a spicy kick with pepper sauce, knocks you up with one, and causes regular braxton-hicks for the duration of the food-induced pregnancy! Those those who enjoy a more intense experience!
#6 The Twinner Chicken Dinner
Three breaded and fried chicken strips, worth a trimester each! Each strip takes you up one trimester with twins, with each basket linked to a set of twins, so no fear going overdue by eating more than one serving!Â
#7 The Fish Filet Sandwich~
A tasty fish filet with light breading, with cheese and tartar sauce! Induces a singleton pregnancy with safe-but-noticeable polyhydramnios, giving extra amniotic fluid!
#8 The Quad Pod
A meal for the truly brave, comes with a double cheeseburger (The Twinner) and three chicken strips (The Twinner Chicken Dinner) to land you full of quadruplets at 40 weeks if fully consumed! (Warning, Doctorâs note required for purchase)
#9 The Family Feast
Not a feast for a family, but a feast to help you MAKE one! A Triple Stack, A Breaded Babywaker, and a Twinner Chicken Dinner, to land you full of 6-7 babies, all at full term! Not for the feint of heart! (Warning, Doctorâs note and signed waiver required for purchase)
The Preggo Pizza (suggested by @mybigbellyluvrz)
A new way to enjoy a McPreggo food induced pregnancy, and a great way to share the experience with friends! Each slice will induce a quantum pregnancy at 20 weeks along, with a second slice bringing it to term. Odd slices add additional babies, and even slices bring them to term. Pairs well with mozzarella sticks with marinara for a nice long Italian-food-centric impregnation session! Toppings give additional effects which increase in strength with more slices eaten! Enjoy a pregnant pizza party, or indulge yourself with high order multiples for one!
Pepperoni - +5% movement per slice
Sausage - +4% weight per slice
Canadian bacon - +4% belly width per slice
Bbq chicken - +10% stretchmark visibility per slice
Pineapple - +15% stronger cravings per slice
Peppers - +5% belly length per slice
Olives - +7.5% amniotic fluid per slice
Mushrooms - 3% lower belly per slice
Extra cheese - +5% thicker thighs, hips, and ass per slice
Breakfast (ALL DAY!)
Hash Brown
Crispy outside, soft potato-y inside. Warm morning goodness! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly drop as if full term and close to birth!Â
Ready-To-Pop Tarts~Â
Our most versatile product, each Ready-To-Pop Tart is named after the quantum baby it induces, and results in a 1-to-1 pregnancy experience as if you were carrying that baby at full term! Each name has its effects listed on the box, such as extra size, carrying low, specific cravings, and so on! Mix and match to carry multiples and craft your perfect pregnancy! Or, try a mystery unlabeled one and see who YOU get pregnant with!
Each location has a unique selection, but here are some of our franchise-wide staples~:
Percy
Carry low and wide with extra baby weight, belly width, and a dropped baby! Youâll want to unbutton pants if youâre wearing themâŚ
Hilda
Enjoy some asymmetry with a pronounced, lopsided torpedo belly! 50/50 odds if she picks left or right, but sheâll stick to it for the whole ordeal!
Adair
Clear your pantry with cravings for sweet and salty flavors, increased taste sensation, and extra movement to enjoy while eating!
Kayla
Stretch your skin to the limit with polyhydramnios, extra baby weight, extra stretchmarks, and extra veins for good measure! Be the waddling definition of âdrum tightâ!
Sausage Egg Muffin
A toasted english muffin housing a breakfast sausage patty, and a folded scrambled egg! A morning classic! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will delay the onset of those products by 1 hour per breakfast sandwich. Additional sandwiches will increase the duration of the delay. Delay timer begins after full consumption of the breakfast sandwich.
Bacon Egg Griddle
Crispy strips of bacon, folded scrambled egg, between two delicious maple flavored griddles! If eaten before other McPreggo products, will cause effects of those products to onset over time instead of instantly. Each sandwich consumed causes effects to onset over the course of 30 minutes, with additional griddles slowing the onset further. Cannot slow an onset to be longer than the base pregnancy duration.
The Baby Burrito
A breakfast burrito for those who are early-risers, this morning meal has scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, melted cheese, and tater tots, wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. Gives you a singleton at 20 weeks along!
SPECIAL LIMITED TIME ITEMS
These items are only available for small windows of time, and don't interact with our other products due to their unique nature. Theyâre a big commitment, but provide a very genuine experience. For customers looking for something that takes more dedication than a standard combo meal.
The McCrib~
A special BBQ rib sandwich, only available during the first month of even numbered years. Slow cooked rib meat slathered in BBQ sauce, the McCrib answers the question of âwhat if humans could properly fully develop in the womb, rather than being born at just 9 months?â. Comparative to most other species, humans give birth very prematurely so that the baby can be safely delivered. McPreggo quantum babies arenât ever birthed, allowing us to see what life would be like otherwise. Upon consuming a full McCrib, the customer starts on a 21 month pregnancy, spanning 7 trimesters, and allowing the quantum baby to grow to the size and weight of a one year old, with all the challenges and experiences that come with that. A slow burn experience, this pregnancy will include increased weight, size, and strength of the baby inside, finally reaching its apex after almost 2 years of uninterrupted pregnancy. It should be noted that McCrib pregnancies do not stack with each other, so only a singleton may be carried for 21 months. However, other McPreggo products will still function independently, meaning that additional temporary babies may be added, though baby altering effects from items such as the chicken nuggets, will have no effect on the McCrib baby.
The Beastly Burger
An extra large McPreggo burger stacked high with toppings, slathered in a unique âMonster Sauceâ, and only sold annually during october. Initiates a 9 month long âanomalous pregnancyâ, where the eater becomes pregnant with a mysterious, monstrous entity! Featuring many mouths, eyes, tentacles, and other fun additions that can be felt on the inner walls of the womb! Squirmy and active, itâll make for a highly engaging and invigorating pregnancy! Will not interact with other McPreggo products, though they can be enjoyed in tandem. (Warning: unusual belly blemishes and strange cravings may occur)
The Festive Feast (Concept By @caitdrawsstuff2)
A unique seasonal item, sold annually during the month of december! A platter of roasted ham, sides of green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing (with cranberry sauce), a warm roll, and a tall glass of sparkling apple cider (available in a limited time McPreggo branded reusable holiday cup)! Upon completion, initiates a singleton pregnancy which, for the next 12 days, every 24 hours, adds another baby to the consumerâs womb, resulting in full sized DUODECAPLETS by the end. If carrying twelve babies at once wasnât enough, beginning with the first baby and repeating with each addition, the pregnancy will also incur one of 12 effects. The order of these effects is completely random, meaning only extraordinary lucky patrons will experience the same Festive Feast pregnancy twice.
The possible effects include: +15% extra baby weight, +20% stronger baby activity, +35% brighter stretchmark visibility, +12.5% additional belly length, +12.5% additional belly width, +75% craving and appetite strength, noticeable polyhydramnios, +25% vein visibility, +25% belly skin sensitivity, +12.5% hip width, Popped bellybutton, and 35% darker linea nigra. Effects cannot repeat during a single Festive Feast pregnancy. Will fully stack effects with other McPreggo products, but will continue to progress even after other items wear off. Whole Festive Feasts cannot stack. Festive Feasts are also sold frozen upon request, allowing them to be taken and enjoyed at home! Itâs the gift that keeps on giving!
Sides
Fries
Crispy, salty yukon gold fries! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly lower and longer, resulting in a torpedo belly! Watch where you point that thing! (Small: +5% belly length, Medium: +7.5% belly length, Large: +10% belly length. Belly height will vary. Percentages are approximate.)
Tater Tots
Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a belly wider at the sides, resulting in a beach ball belly. Look pregnant from behind too! (Small: +5% belly width, Medium: +7.5% belly width, Large: +10% belly width. Roundness will vary. Percentages are approximate.)
Onion Rings
Ring segments of onion, battered and fried! Whatâs not to love? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will make a bellyâs skin a little tighter, resulting in more stretchmarks and visible veins! Look at those tiger stripes! (Small: +15% stretchmark visibility, Medium: +25% stretchmark visibility, Large: +35% stretchmark visibility. Percentages are approximate.)
Mozzarella Sticks
Breaded and deep fried sticks of mozzarella cheese! Warm and soft, with a great cheese pull! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will extend the effects of an active food-based pregnancy by 90 minutes per stick eaten! Comes in a 4 piece, 6 piece, or 8 piece!
Fried Pickle Chips
A staple with pregnant people, breaded slices of pickle, salted and fried to perfection. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the strength of pregnancy cravings when consumed! (Small: +20% craving strength, Medium: +40% craving strength, Large: +60% craving strength. Percentages are approximate.)
Chicken Nuggets~
A staple, back and heavier than ever! A 6 piece nugget with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the weight of babies by 2% per nugget! Careful! That adds up faster than youâd expect!
Spicy Chicken Nuggets
Made with a breading that brings the heat, rile up your cargo with this delicious side! A 6 piece spicy nugget comes with your choice of dipping sauce! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase the activity and energy of quantum babies by 4% per nugget!
Curly Fries~
Perfect for the pregnant patron who wants to show off! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will Increase the interactivity and responsiveness of the quantum babies to external pressure. A small grants a moderate increase, medium a considerable amount, and large an intense increase! Perfect for filming baby kicking videos or entertaining a handsy partner!
Chili Cheese Fries~Â
Enjoy a platter of chili covered fries, topped with melted cheese! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will induce light bloating and gassiness, which may cause increased burping.
Sweet Potato Fries~
Bright orange and delightfully sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the consumer to become sleepy and potentially nap prone, perfect for winding down after a long day of pregnancy. A small helps the consumer relax, a medium makes them nap prone, and a large will make them very sleepy! (Do not operate a motor vehicle while or shortly after consuming)
Side Salad (Suggested by @zaloog81)
A classic salad that gives you a healthy boost! A small salad that goes with any of our fine salad dressings (see dips, dressings, and sauces). If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase energy and lower fatigue of the eater by a noticeable amount! Combo with your favorite dressing to specialize for your next activity!
Hand Mixed Sodas!
Our Hand Mixed Sodas are made with a carbonated base, and are customizable with shots of flavor, each with their own effects! Combine your favorites for a delightful, refreshing augmentation to your pregnancy experience!
Cherry
A summertime classic with all the Red No. 40 you know and love! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will darken the visible linea nigra line on the belly by 20% per shot of flavoring!
Mango
Tangy, tropical, and uniquely sweet! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause stretchmarks to spread of places other than the belly, traveling across the hips, thighs, and arms too! More shots means more coverage!
Grape
The classic artificial cough syrup variety you grew up with, now with a twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase blood flow to belly skin, giving it extra visible âblushâ. Increases belly blush by 25% per shot.
Orange
Unique and refreshing, goes with most other tropical fruits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause the belly to glow with a safe, heatless light from within! Starts with a soft glow and grows brighter with more shots, though will never go above that of a laval lamp. Use Pineapple, Peach, and Blue Raspberry shots to color the glow!
Pineapple
Includes that tingling sensation from the pineapple enzymes eating you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a bright yellow color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.
Peach
Ripe and juicy, tastes like itâs straight form Georgia! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a vibrant red color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.
Blue Raspberry
Why is it blue? Who cares? Still tastes great! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will tint any glow effects from the orange syrup a cool blue color! 3 shots reaches full color saturation.
Lemonade
Tart opener with a sweet finish, and pairs with pretty much every other option! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase belly skin sensitivity to touch by 20% per shot.Â
Lemon/Lime~
Citrusy and a little sour! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will simulate the sensation of hiccups from your quantum babies with increasing strength per shot.
Dips, Dressings, and Sauces!
Caesar Salad Dressing
A mix of dijon mustard, lemon juice, and worcestershire sauce perfect for anyone craving a classic caesar salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase nesting drive by 40% for the duration of the McPreggo pregnancy. The energy given by the salad will be put toward this nesting instinct.
Tangy Vinaigrette
An old favorite with a bite, this vinaigrette goes great on our side salad! If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase joint flexibility and ease of movement by a noticeable amount. Make your maternity yoga class a breeze with our lovely dressing!
Thousand Island Dressing
An american classic, thousand island is a great topper to our side salad. If drizzled over a McPreggo side salad and eaten, will increase sense of smell and taste substantially, making your craving foods taste even better!
Ranch Dressing
Classic thick, creamy ranch, good for nuggets and salads alike! When combined with any McPreggo food, will increase the visibility of veins on the belly by 60%!
Marinara Sauce
Take the routine out of your usual McPreggo order with out tomato-y marinara sauce! When eaten with our mozzarella sticks, will increase the duration of the pregnancy by a random amount, varying from 10-40%!Â
BBQ sauce
Tangy and a little sweet, our BBQ sauce canât be beat! If pregnant with a McPreggo product and fully aware of this sauceâs effects before eating, will induce a slightly hazy, forgetful âpregnancy brainâ sensation for the duration of the food pregnancy!Â
Fry sauce
A thick fry sauce for an even thicker patron! Enjoy this northwestern classic and round out a little! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause thighs and buttocks to grow visibly thicker, with increasing effects the more is eaten.
Ketchup
We donât need to pitch ketchup to you. Itâs ketchup. You know you like it. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly lopsided. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.
Mustard~
Classic yellow mustard with a tummy-altering twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the distribution of babies within the womb to make it visibly oblong, causing a tummy thatâs considerably wider than it is âtallâ. Will never push babies into an unsafe or painful position for either party.
Hot Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)
A familiar favorite with heat that sneaks up on you! If eaten with a McPreggo Product, will hasten the onset of the effect of that food item, reducing the growth or change duration by about 90%! (Takes the usual 45 second duration down to just under 5!) Really put the rapid back in rapid pregnancy!
Honey Mustard (Concept By @wannabemumma)
A sweeter version of an old favorite! If eaten with a McPreggo product, will cause the effects to onset more slowly, over approximately 5 minutes. Stacks additively with other onset-lengthening effects
Smoothies and Frozen Drinks
Tropical Mist Smoothie
Featuring peach, guava, and passionfruit, this tropical smoothie makes you feel like you just spent an afternoon on the beach! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will give the drinker the visual effects of healthy sun exposure, with no UV ray-based downsides! Enjoy a subtle tan and occasional freckles! Visual effects will be most strongly concentrated on the midriff.
Strawberry Smoothie
Elegant in its simplicity, the Strawberry Smoothie tastes exactly how it says on the tin! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will soften the skin by a noticeable degree, lasting until the end of the quantum pregnancy. Effect will be most noticeable on the midriff.
Pineapple Mango SmoothieÂ
A tangy and refreshing combo, complete with the enzymes that eat you back! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause tightening of the womb and ab muscles. Not enough to feel like a contraction to the drinker, but will âpull inâ and tighten the belly, as well as make it considerably more firm to the touch. A great middle ground between being in the third trimester, and experiencing braxton hicks.
Acai Blueberry Smoothie
Both tasty and health conscious! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will shift the womb up, allowing the drinker to carry higher. May cause mild chest tightness from the internal shifting, but will never reach a level that is alarmingly uncomfortable or dangerous.
Kale Smoothie
Get your daily greens in smoothie form! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for veggies, legumes, grains, and other foliage. Is a great start to one of our salads!
Mixed Berry Smoothie
Enjoy a mix of strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, AND blackberry, all in one vitamin C packed cup! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for fruit of all varieties.
Dragonfruit Smoothie
A mix of dragonfruit with some supporting orange and mango, this pink drink is makes a fantastic pairing with any of our entrees. If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for proteins, animal or plant based, meaning vegetarians can enjoy its effects too!
Carmel Frappe Decaf
A sweet carmel opening with a bitter coffee finish, without any caffeine for safe pregnant consumption! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cause cravings for sweets, with particular preference for baked goods and ice creams! A fantastic combo drink if you plan to stay for dessert.
Desserts
Chocolate Chip Cookie~
A classic treat with a cute twist! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will cycle through belly button types, with each cookie going to the next one in the cycle. Starts with an innie, then pops into an outie, then flattens out as though your navel was too stretched to even pop! If stretched, the next cookie reverts you back to an innie!
Ice Cream Sundae
Comes in hot fudge or carmel! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will lower the visibility of blemishes like stretchmarks or visible veins, resulting in a smoother, softer skinned tummy!
Ice Cream Sandwich
A classic straight from the ice cream truck! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will relieve back pain and contractions brought on by late-stage food-based pregnancy!
McBlendie
Cool, creamy soft serve blended with your choice of twix or reeses peanut butter cups! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will reset all other side and desert item effects. Will not hasten a McPreggo food pregnancy!
Milkshakes!~
Cookies and Crème
A thick and creamy milkshake thatâs loaded with blended chocolate cookie bits! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase milk production and potentially even breast size! (Small: +100% milk production, Medium: +175% milk production, Large: +250% milk production. Percentages are approximate, breast size increase will vary)
Apple Pie Delight
A whole slice of apple pie dumped right into our vanilla milkshake mix and blended until thick! It still counts as A La Mode, right? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will increase sex drive in those who drink it and are fully aware of its effects before consuming. (Small: +75% libido, Medium: +125% libido, Large: +175% libido. Percentages are approximate and based on starting sex drive. Does not function without awareness)
Maternal Marionberry
Oregon marionberries, in a milkshake, served so thick you probably need a spoon. Need we say more? If pregnant with a McPreggo product, will widen and soften hips, and give you that pregnancy glow! (Small: +5% hip width, Medium: +7.5% hip width, Large: +10% hip width. Percentages are approximate)
Marshmallow Plush
A McPreggo specialty, a delightful blend of marshmallow cream with cool vanilla makes for a surprisingly heavy drink! If pregnant with a McPreggo product, soften the exterior of a pregnant belly, making you plush and plump! (Small: +15% belly fat, Medium: +25% belly fat, Large: +35% belly fat. Percentages are approximate)
At McPreggo, we strive to create a genuinely enjoyable dining experience, with a special twist! Our food has the unique, distinct, and trademarked ability to create a simulated pregnancy in anyone who eats it! Combine any number of pregnancy-inducing entrees with pregnancy affecting sides and desserts, and you can custom tailor your McPreggo experience to exactly your desires! Experience anything from a singleton to a septuplet pregnancy with our professionally prepared meals, and shape your belly and pregnancy experience however you wish. As a subsidiary of Quantum Yum LLC, we guarantee our food and quantem-multiversal pregnancies are safe, ethically sourced, and best of all, enjoyable!
Please note that pregnancies from our food will never result in labor and will revert after 6 hours. However, a pregnancy is still a pregnancy, so expect back pain, swelling, internal movement, and cravings, among other side effects, from our meals. We hope you enjoy your food and have a fun and safe time trying out pregnancy! Sincerely, the R&D team at Quantum Yum LLC.
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Oh⌠youâre still reading? You must be here for the secret menu thenâŚ
I wonât be coy or keep you waiting, youâve been patient enough. ;)
The McPreggo Secret Menu
Overdue Strip Basket
A logical extension of an existing menu item, enjoy a 4 or 5 piece chicken basket with your choice of sauce! When ordered off of the secret menu, the twins continue to grow at a rate of 1 trimester per strip, meaning a basket will land you with twins in their 4th or 5th trimester based on the size you ordered. Enjoy carrying twins at multiple months overdue!
The Octomom ~
Simple but effective, an 8 patty burger (thatâs 2 lbs of meat) with all the usual fixings. A slog to eat, a joy to carry. Nadya Suleman walked so we could waddle.Â
Carnivoreâs Craving (Suggested by @wannabemumma)
Every meat on the lunch menu, on one gargantuan sandwich, granting one gargantuan pregnancy! Comes topped with fry sauce drizzle (yes, the stuff that makes your thighs and ass thicker), and an optional free small Marshmallow plush shake!
The sandwich in question includes: 1 beef patty, 1 chicken patty, 1 fish patty, 2 chicken strips, 2 chicken nuggets, and 2 spicy nuggets. This, when fully consumed, grants the consumer either full term triplets or quadruplets (50/50 odds), second trimester twins, with all babies 4% heavier and 8% more active, with polyhydramnios to top it off. Meatlovers, eat your heart out!
Maternal Masochist
For customers who want to push their pregnancy toward a more intense route, enjoy a Labor Inducer with spicy nuggets and ketchup, to get pregnant with one, enjoy strong braxton hicks contractions with an active baby, whoâs also lopsided in your belly. About as uncomfortable as it gets, add additional quantum babies at your own risk.
âHas Pregnancy Increased Your Sex Drive?â
Includes a Baby Burrito, side salad with vinaigrette, triple-shot lemonade soda, and large apple pie delight! Get just pregnant enough to reap the effects. The side salad gives energy while the vinaigrette gives flexibility, the lemonade soda makes belly more sensitive, and the apple pie delight ramps up sex drive. Pair with other entrees for more belly, or mozz sticks for more longevity.
The Bottomless Belly
Includes a McPreggo single burger with a large side of fried pickle chips, with thousand island dressing for dipping. Pushes cravings into overdrive, making anything taste good. Go home and polish off every leftover in the house. Enjoy the food coma!
Model Mommy
Enjoy a Triple stack, with onion rings on the burger, cherry mango grape soda, and tater tots and ranch dressing on the side! All of the possible markings, stretch marks spread everywhere, veins, blush, linea nigra, and an extra wide triplet belly to display it all on! The ideal tummy for a pre-pregnancy try on challenge!
Gravid Gambler
Chicken nuggets, slathered in bbq sauce, with 2 Breaded babymaker patties as buns, with a side of mozz sticks, and marinara sauce! Roll the dice on twins to quads, add random extra duration, and throw in extra weight and some forgetfulness to keep it interesting!
Extra Thicc!
Enjoy a Twinner, 2 large tots with fry sauce, and an exclusive Marionberry Marshmallow Milkshake! Go for twins, go wide with the belly, then enjoy wide hips, soft ass, thick thighs, and squishy tummy. Be the pregnant cuddle buddy your friends deserve!
Sisters From Different Misters Sandwich~
Like the Land, Sea, and Air from an unnamed competitor, but with a pregnant twist! Enjoy a double burger, a chicken sandwich patty, and a fish filet all the same sandwich. End up with, 4-5 babies, with a garnish of polyhydramnios to boot!
Iâm loving these pregnancy themed restaurants with fun gimmicks! Makes me overjoyed to see how many happy customers leave each location after their meals.
