something fruity is afoot

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

it’s crazy to me how ice water is a uniquely american phenomenon. it’s the greatest drink in the entire world. how have other countries not hopped on board? genuinely don’t understand how sparkling water is ubiquitous in a way that simple ice water isn’t. whenever i ask for ice water outside the u.s., they put 2 ice cubes in a glass, and i’m always too ashamed of being american to ask for more. but it’s our single healthy habit! luckily i am always prepared (half gallon insulated water bottle that i fill with ice myself and then fill with water and always carry around with me) but it really is baffling every time i travel.

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

okay yeah i do think your filler is off putting and your botox makes you rigid and strange to look at

I know you think it’s “feminist” to hate on women who already have self esteem and image issues (through no fault of their own, as a direct result of patriarchy) for doing something to help them cope with their fleeting youth - which may or may not have been stripped from them against their will due to years of depression, abuse, oppression, or whatever else - but the truth is that the freedom to get Botox is actually a right feminists have fought for - whether intentionally or unintentionally. Women used to get thrown away when we outlived our youth and beauty - now we have the option to prolong it and change the way we are perceived and treated by society as a whole. We ALL had to grow up too fast. We ALL have to cope with a childhood that ended too soon. I’m no less a feminist than you are simply because I choose to hold onto my youth and beauty because it helps me feel better about my own loss of innocence. This is all just another excuse to hate on women and tear us down. You’re literally letting the patriarchy win by judging women for their personal choices which harm absolutely no one. Please grow up. Not everyone is conventionally attractive or ages gracefully. Some women can cope with that and some can’t. Both deserve love and respect. Have some decency. You’re not edgy for this. You’re hating just like a man would.

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

Happy Pride Month

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

i think about this post like. once a week. and i mean that.

"who said that" is a powerful spell that casts a defensive bubble around your most vulnerable thoughts

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

World Heritage Post