I have no bedtime and I fear no god

when I see a divorce related joke I feel the sense of joy I assume boomer husbands feel when they see those comics about hating your wife

there are four human activities and they are crafting, stories, math, and fucking around. whatever you're doing is at least one of those four.

the phrase "this machine kills fascists" has gone through enough layers of meaning that I think it's come all the way back around to where the funniest thing you could put it on would be a gun

Tchaikovsky at the cannon store:

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed