lights under the sparkle

I don't miss you

I miss your love

Want your gear back

even if your body turns black

even if you die as Balzac

To not have your charm by my side

feels like those early nights

looking at the bare sky blear-eyed

after daydreaming with a joyride!

I don't want your future though

neither your control over me

Although your heart is warm

Although it's passion for me was not norme

Is it right then to only want a side of it

only a nibble from it

To be so choosy that I can't help but

don't want you to go,

but don't want you to stay either.

I've also convinced myself that I need to socialize, because I haven't even been out with anyone or got out of my place if it wasn't for university for two months now. The issue is that I literally only have one friend who's in another city at university (my other friend is even farer away) so It's not like I have it easy.

Also, it's been a month and I don't feel comfortable at my university class because I haven't made friends with whom I feel like I fit in completely. I am slowly feeling miserable and I think that's one of the reasons along not being out for that long.

This Saturday I'm probably meeting with the friend who lives in another city, but if my life doesn't drastically change after that, I'm going to read The Bell Jar, and I mean that as a threat.

Some of my books are annotated both by me and by my best friend.

Sometimes I like to look at them and mentally laugh at the differences on our personalities and how they manifest.

Little things like this, almost unnoticeable variances like this.

On Midsummer and sects