A gay mess.

And my dad and brothers? Were deeply disturbed by the movie Jennifer’s Body. I was flabbergasted. It’s not scary! It’s not even that gory. But they were horrified by it. These men who grew up on 70s slashers were legitimately shook by 90 minutes of Megan Fox eating a few teenage boys, mostly off-screen.

Similarly, my all-male reading panel for my thesis? Were so disturbed by my synopsis of the film Teeth that they couldn’t even talk about it. One of them said he couldn’t look at his wife for a week after reading it.

Again, grown-ass men who study and teach media for a living. Who definitely watch and enjoy horror movies. One of whom was a huge Tarantino buff. We watched and read worse in his intro to mass media class! But one movie about a girl whose vag could bite was enough to haunt him.

Then of course you have things like the Gone Girl backlash–men yelling that Amy Dunne is evil and women clamoring to assure everyone that they know she is not someone to emulate–the backlash against Carol Danvers, and, more recently, the griping from MRAs against the upcoming film Hustlers, which is about strippers scamming their Wall Street clients.

My conclusion? Most men–at least most straight, cisgender men, who are both my sample population and most of the ones whining that Carol is a “villain”–are perfectly fine with, and desensitized to, media where men do violence to women (horror movies), or men do violence to men (horror and action movies). They’re even sort of fine when women do violence to women (“ooooo cat fight!”).

But they get intensely uncomfortable when women are depicted doing any kind of violence to men, especially in films that tilt the balance of power to the other side of the m/f gender binary beyond a single moment or scene.

So woman as flesh-eating monster with men as her preferred cuisine? Woman who responds to unwanted sexual contact by biting it off? Woman who frames her cheating husband for murder? Woman whose response to harassment–behavior that many of the loudest whiners know is both creepy and reflective of their own thoughts/actions–is to break something?

Too scary. Unacceptable. Disturbing. These men hate being presented with the idea, even in fiction, that their position of power is socially constructed, that it could easily be flipped the other way. It terrifies them.

In feeling that terror, they experience a tiny modicum of what living, existing, moving, being perceived as a woman in the world is like.

in a series with multiple instances of men beating, humiliating, and occasionally killing female sex workers, including at least one main character and several sympathetic side characters. and two other main female characters being threatened with rape at various points

Not age gaps or significant age differences.

Not same-sex or opposite-sex relationships.

It’s always power imbalances. And it doesn’t matter to me what the gender identity is that has the power and that doesn’t - although it is a little more disturbing for me when it’s men that has the power against women.

I just think power imbalance in general is scary shit.

I don’t want to see a “romance” through that because that is not ever representative of real and true love.

Buffy Anne Summers

I love her sm <3

Well, in one sense, not very much at all because they themselves never experienced any of it that way.

In another…. A hell of a fucking lot because Season 5 was the season no one liked or at least liked the least.

So this season of maintext for them wasn’t just necessary. It was expected. It was the fix for it.

It was the apology. It was the “You guys were always right about them and we shouldn’t have doubted you.”

(Not that they ever really did. They were just scared.)

It was the way for them to prove to us that they truly were on our side and in our corner. Our queer corner.

And you know, I think it actually worked really well because if Xena and Gabrielle had experienced the 25 year long gap like everyone else in the show did, maybe their love wouldn’t have been as strong as it was in Season 6. Maybe they wouldn’t have had the same dynamic as they always did. Maybe maintext would have been narratively/thematically… wrong for them. Maybe their storyline wouldn’t have made any sense at all and it would have looked contrived and inauthentic.

We all have problems with the 25 year long gap, myself included, but this was their workaround for it. That Xena and Gabrielle would have never experienced that and therefore their love for each other wouldn’t really have changed because they were still the same as before it and they had to navigate the world alongside the fans - feeling just as confused and tonally whiplashed and overwhelmed and like someone was punking them.

No seriously, can you imagine the conversations on it?

XENA: “Ares did this. I know he did this. Where is he?!”

GABRIELLE: “Ares is mortal now, Xena. How could he? I mean it could have been Aphrodite. You know how temperamental she is with her magical powers. Like when she put you and Daphne into the same body…”

XENA: “Ares could have gotten his godhood back since then. It’s been 25 years, Gabrielle. 25. YEARS. AGO!”

But it is extremely interesting how that whole season is exactly the way the fans had watched the show anyway.

We knew it was a love story.

And we knew it worked best that way.

It just took the creators some time to realize they agreed with us and that they wanted it that way too.

Understandable. It was the 90’s. The network was breathing down their necks to make it hetereonormy (that’s a word I just came up with, do you like it? 😝) and they were about to end it anyway. So… why not?

The people that didn’t want that (a very small minority) would just have to deal with the fact the queers won.

At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.

They thought it was a sci-fi game but they also thought the monsters were going to be zombies.

Over a period of 2 hours they then proceeded to make EVERY Aliens movie cliche "mistake" known to man. Because at the time they all made sense.

The characters in a story don't know they're in a story or what kind of story it is.

Enid: Could you speak up a little?

Agnes: adopt me?

Wednesday: I'm sorry

Agnes: *deep breath* Adopt me and be my mothers

Wednesday: I heard you I am merely sorry, though we may be official as you said, our relationship is still balanced on a razors edge

Agnes: *face falls looks to Enid*

Enid: I mean it's a bit strange and I wouldn't say never, but with my family hunting me and Wednesday's grandmother hunting her and maybe vice versa. It's just a lot pressure. Please don't hate us

Agnes: . . . *sighs* I understand, though I can't say I'm not disappointed

Fourth voice: We would be happy to adopt you

Everyone turns to see a large chair wondering how they could have missed it

It slowly turns revealing Yoko, with Divina sitting in her lap, stroking her hair. Clearly meant to be intimidating. Divina and Yoko being roughly the same height it looks more awkward

Wednesday: Why would you want adopt Agnes?

Divina: *gets up and puts a hand on Agnes' shoulder* It would be completely altruistic, adopting a child would look good on my application for Yoko to turn me, but Agnes is just so obviously lacking in strong female role models

Enid: What? We're still her roll models and were the same age! What makes you better then us?

Yoko: Technically I am 37 in mortal years and we've never been embroiled in murder investigations

Wednesday: Because you live bland basic existences

Divina: *suddenly holding a switchblade* Do we? Or do we just know how to cover our tracks better?

Yoko: Knowing your parents I get why you l believe your the center of attention but if you allowed yourself a moment of sonder you may notice we aren't just background characters to your lives

Agnes: *eyes beginning to wander with a sparkle of curiosity*

Wednesday: The opportunity to adopt comes along and you just pounce on it for your own benefit

Yoko: Adoption is common among vampires, I would have adopted your mother if Hester hadn't literally buried in me in lawyers

Enid: What do you mean literally?

Yoko: I had to dig my way out from the bottom of a mass grave, *wistfully* to think what may have you might have called me granmama

Wednesday: Agnes! Come with l us. We will discuss the possibility of your adoption elsewhere!

Wednesday stalks out of the room followed by a confused but enthusiastic Enid

Agnes looks at Yoko and grins

Yoko and Divina give her a thumbs up

Wednesday: *from halfway* Agnes Addams-Sinclair I will not ask again

Enid: Why does your last name come first?

Agnes runs up and hugs Divina and Yoko

Agnes: *scurrying into the hall* Coming mom's!

Divina: I wouldn't be completely opposed to getting our own one day obviously not anytime soon

You don't have a heart. Yes, I do. It's black, and it beats for you. AGATHA HARKNESS × RIO VIDAL AGATHA ALL ALONG (2024)

I thought y'all might like to see Niagara Falls lit up for Pride.