Too Much. Too Good.

After Shane takes a paycut to join the centaurs Ilya continues the joke that as his "very wealthy husband" it is his responsibility to provide for Shane now. This is completely ridiculous because thanks to his endorsements Shane still makes more money than Ilya and even his lower salary is still an obscene amount of money. Plus they share a bank account. Unfortunately, despite all of those things, the joke still flips a switch in Ilya's brain.

heated rivalry is the reward you get for a lifetime of toiling in the fujoshi mines for scraps, sifting through tons of dirt for a small glimmer of yaoi you're not even sure is real. could all be fool's gold. and one day you climb back to the surface and the light there is so bright and glaring you have to cover your eyes but when your eyesight adjusts, you are greeted with it, the fruits of your labour: shane hollander moaning and bouncing on it.

Tumblr users these days, putting up the Ides of March decorations earlier every year.

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That