We're Making It Up As We Go

Purrentification.

big fan of going big but at the end of the day i also really love to go home

i don’t care if it’s not canon i’m a hollanov digital camera truther they have photos together since their first time as a couple in the cottage. they just have to take pictures with something that don’t have access to the internet and never get to worry about being leaked and i will die on that even if it’s not true. i can’t believe they had to delete everything

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

i have a suggestion

mormonism is so crazy capitalist coded

their philosophy on the afterlife is literally that men are all temporarily embarrassed billionaires gods and if they just keep their heads down and don't ask questions and grind away their whole lives in service to their current boss god earning him money glory they will eventually be rewarded with their very own company planet and passive income glory and employees a family they can abuse forever and ever amen

they call it eternal progression i call it infinite growth

My absolute gospel truth and I'm sorry this is so sappy but--where I'm living, Ilya fully changes his name to Hollander when they get married, like just fully legally changes it. And despite the fact that he continues to use Rozanov professionally ("Just like J. Lo," Ilya says.) everyone who knows them personally obviously knows what Ilya's legal name is and also assume it's a way to kind of stick it to his shitheel father. To this end, and kind of as a joke at first, people start referring to their two-person unit as The Hollanders ("Okay, the Hollanders are in room 508" etc.) but it becomes steadily less and less a joke when neither Shane or Ilya really seems to think of it as one. Ilya especially seems to genuinely love it. He'll say shit like "Oh yes the Hollanders will be there" when asked if they're coming to a barbecue like they live in a postcard. He LOVES to give his name as Ilya Hollander and he LOVES to book reservations under 'Misters Hollander' and he LOVES to say the words 'Shane and Ilya Hollander' out loud with his mouth. I also think that for their last game together in the league Ilya and Shane wear jerseys that say S. Hollander 24 and I. Hollander 81 and it's like. An end of an era type thing. And they frame the jerseys.