CorvidBlues

Here’s the spreadsheet in-progress

I'm literally doing this as a testament to my own depression that not everyone is lovable, so add that to the weight of this post's meaning.

also oh my god him not having that much empathy for those who died before him because. all his formative experience is with his own deaths and hearing about them once hes in another world. he doesn't see the graves or the services or the tears while they are sincere. he hears the laughter and teasing and insults once they start another round. the first time he sees a funeral, its HIS, and he's being forced into the coffin and buried alive, unable to escape as he hears people above him speak of his life with mocking tones, laced with insults and laughter. he doesn't understand that people grieve, that they mourn their friends and lovers. and the second he starts feeling grief, starts feeling upset and shaken up by his teammates deaths, he goes "Ah. Something Is Wrong With Me." and buries all those emotions. because that's how it works, isn't it? no one misses the dead. they laugh at them instead.

I’m losing my mind