Happy Happy Joy Joy

"The Food Diary of Miss Maid (Maid-san wa Taberu dake)" ongoing TV Anime special illustration by '@ no33no' for episode 6 release

"The Food Diary of Miss Maid (Maid-san wa Taberu dake)" ongoing TV Anime special illustration by '@ no33no' for episode 8 release

Something that I really, really love about Kamiina Botan is how effortlessly it uses the characters' relationship to drinking as a metaphor for their relationships with each other. Ibuki only drinks with Kamiina because Kamiina makes her feel safe and loved, sharing a part of herself she's never been quite comfortable with. She was shamed in the past for her drinking habits, and it left her scared to let anyone else in that close. And I don't think it's too much of a leap to read some pretty obvious queer-coding into this, yeah? Ibuki was made to feel small and horrible for her version of "love," which makes her hesitate to open up to anyone else in fear they'll also hate her for "loving" in that way, but she still tries to dismiss it as no big deal even though it's so obvious how deeply grateful she is when Kamiina promises her that there's nothing shameful about her "love?" You could slap a rainbow sticker on her forehead and it would be less gay.

But that gets to a whole new level in that final scene with Gujo. All throughout the show Gujo's been trying to get Ibuki to drink with her- in other words, she's been trying to confess. Every failed alcohol sharing represents another lost opportunity to get her feelings across. But now, finally, the chance is here. She's got her own home-infused whiskey, it's Ibuki's favorite brand, there's no one else for miles around, it's a moment for the two of them to finally connect... and Ibuki still turns her down. She's already chosen who she wants to share her drinks with- and it's not the girl who's been pining after her in secret all this time.

Like, just look at how this scene plays out. Gujo never needs to say "I love you" or "Why do you love Kamiina but not me?" The alcohol says it all for her, and Ibuki's silence is all the answer she needs. It's confession and rejection and heartbreak without a single explicit word on the subject, and it fucking destroyed me.

But what happened next destroyed me even more.

Drinking is Ibuki's vice of choice. It's the indulgence she defines herself by; sharing drinking with someone is like sharing her very soul. But Gujo? Sure, Gujo is a boozehound in her own right, but her defining vice is smoking. And it's this vice that Ibuki chooses to share with her instead. Not bearing the deepest part of her life, but offering to share in Gujo's life instead. Asking her senpai if they can meet on her terms instead.

Ibuki isn't ready to let people in. Not yet. The fact that Kamiina's made such progress with her already is a miracle. But even if she can't be the person Gujo wants her to be... she still wants to share some small part of their lives together. Even if she can't love Gujo the way she years for, she can share the same kindness Kamiina shared with her: the knowledge that what makes you, you, is worth celebrating.

Because in a world that's quick to degrade any sort of "love" it views as less than worthy... we all deserve to know that our love matters.

Even if, on the outside, it looks as simple as a glass of whiskey or a cigarette

Botan Kamiina Fully Blossoms When Drunk Opening