I Mean I Guess...

(Target)

Are you sure?

Are you

(Walmart)

ABSOLUTELY SURE??

BECAUSE I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED

LIKE AT ALL

THAT MEN HAVE IT HARDER

(Victoria’s Secret)

OH AND SHOULD I BRING UP PANTIES WHILE I’M AT IT? I am a firm believer of the “fuck you, I’ll wear briefs that don’t give me a wedgie, I don’t care if they’re not sexy” policy, but a lot of women are expected to wear panties and thongs because GASP WOMEN MUST BE BEAUTIFUL AT ALL TIMES. Here’s a screenshot of some Victoria’s secret panties!

Wow. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern here.

racism

pedophilia

homophobia

heterophobia

transphobia

cisphobia

intolerance of people with autism

intolerance of people with mental disorders

intolerance of people with physical disorders

intolerance of religious beliefs, whatever they may be

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.”  And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”