Sometimes I think about how Finn must have felt about Robin as he got older.
I know a lot of the fandom like to headcanon that Finn and Robin had been friends for a long time, but I think the evidence points to the opposite. I think they were newer friends.
We see Robin tell Finnās bullies not to mess with him again. And they listen (until Robin gets taken). Itās obviously the first time heās done that, which points to their friendship being newer (although I think Robin probably also tried not to immediately get involved because it would only make Finn look weaker).
We also get Finn asking Robin about his fight with Moose. The conversation is about this fight but it also feels like itās about fighting in general. Finnās just now asking because theyāre just now close enough for the conversation.
I say all of that to say, that in the basement, Finn didnāt hold back on Robin being his best friend. He said theyād be together again, that he missed him. And Robin rebuffed him. Finn wasnāt going to go out like him, Finn needed to get out for him. Itās what he needed to hear in the moment, butā¦
But later he thinks about it. Because he starts to wonder if he meant as much to Robin as Robin did to him. He wonders if he was important to him, or just a man like several others who he didnāt want to leave behind because Robin was a good person.
Heād wonder even more as he got older because the Grabber never goes away. Finn sees him in his nightmares, in the corner of his vision, looking straight at him across the way. But there is no Robin. The Grabber feels like heās haunting him, but Robin is just gone.
He starts to feel stupid, guilty, humiliated by his feelings for Robin. Because Robin was his best friend but he starts to think maybe he was just someone Robin liked well enough.
Finn canāt stomach seeing Ernesto. He looks like Robin, but even if he didnāt, Finn feels like a fraud. He doesnāt look out for Robinās younger brother because the thought of it makes him feel desperate, like heād be fighting to feel like he mattered to Robin.
So instead he settles for trying to be like Robin. Because even if Robin hadnāt actually seen him as a best friend, he was still someone Finn admired. He was still the reason he got out of the basement.
When he tells Ernesto at Alpine Lake that if Robin is looking over anyone, itās not him. He doesnāt say it to comfort Ernesto. He says it to drive the knife into himself. He says it because maybe Robin does watch his kid brother and he doesnāt want to embarrass himself, like Robinās ghost might be there watching and wondering why Finn ever thought they were close.
Itās not until everything finishes at Alpine Lake, when the one message Robin leaves is to him that he finally feels relief.
Because Robin didnāt have to give him a message at all. He could have given it to Ernesto. But he chose Finn. And Finn sobs because for the first time in years he thinks he meant as much to Robin as Robin did to him.
titsay
2087
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline
