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Summary: When Seungcheol gets dumped just before Valentine’s Day, he turns to you for comfort. You drag him out on the perfect date, forcing him to confront the fact that his soulmate may have been in front of his face this entire time.
Genre: Romance (lol should be fantasy b/c who would break up with Seungcheol???)
Word Count: 7.5k
Tags/Warnings: named reader, friends to lovers, romance, light angst, fluff, just soft date stuff!
Read on AO3: Boys Deserve Flowers, Too
Yes, I'm writing a Valentine's Day fic in July because I wanna imagine being soft and cozy with Seungcheol instead of dying in the heat. Kind words are always appreciated. 💕
The apartment was quiet in a way that felt heavier than usual.
Not the comfortable kind of quiet you were used to sharing with him. This one felt like both of you were waiting for the other person to say something first.
The argument wasn’t even about something huge. That was the part that bothered you the most. It started as a small disagreement, a misunderstanding, a few words said with too much emotion… and somehow it turned into both of you walking away hurt.
You were sitting on opposite ends of the couch when you finally heard him sigh.
“Y/N…”
His voice was softer now.
You looked over, and he wasn’t angry anymore. He just looked tired. Like he had been thinking about everything you both said.
“I don’t like this,” he whispered.
You looked down at your hands. “Me neither.”
A few seconds passed before he moved closer.
“I hate that we let something small turn into us feeling like we’re against each other.”
Your expression softened because you knew exactly what he meant.
It was never supposed to be you versus him.
It was supposed to be both of you versus the problem.
“I know I can be stubborn,” he admitted with a small smile. “You know that better than anyone.”
A tiny laugh escaped you.
“And you’re stubborn too,” he added.
“Excuse me?”
He smiled a little, the first real one you’d seen all night.
“See? Stubborn.”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.
Then his expression became serious again.
“But I never want you to feel like I don’t care. Because I do. A lot.”
The way he looked at you made your chest feel tight.
“I’m sorry for the things I said when I was upset,” he continued. “I should’ve listened more instead of trying to prove my point.”
You stayed quiet for a moment before admitting, “I’m sorry too.”
His hand slowly reached for yours.
“I don’t need us to be perfect,” he said. “I just need us to always come back to each other.”
Your fingers intertwined with his.
“I was so mad at you,” you whispered.
“I know.”
“But I still missed you.”
His thumb gently brushed over your hand.
“I missed you too.”
The silence that followed felt different this time.
Warm.
Safe.
He pulled you closer, letting you rest against him like you had done a thousand times before.
“Come here,” he whispered.
You leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around you tightly.
THERE IS NOTHING SO DANGEROUSLY THRILLING AS WALKING THE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE, ESPECIALLY AT WEDDINGS. YOU AND SEOKMIN ARE ADDICTED TO IT
PAIRING: wedding photographer!seokmin x wedding planner!reader
WC: 3,518
GENRE: non idol | romance
TAGS: rivals if you squint very hard, they are actually kind of in love with each other already, mentions of sex, slight making out, loads of teasing, seokmin is kind of cocky but it's hot i promise
INCOMING ORBIT MESSAGE: welcome to the first fic for the Love Letter Collab, hosted by me and my beloved boba wifey @livmarauder! we're so happy to be doing this after both hitting 200 followers and this is our thank you to our moots who have been supporting us along the way. @aeristudios this cocky dk is for you. i hope you enjoy it <3
Weddings are a place to celebrate love and unity, where people come together for the ones they care about. You are the one in charge of protecting this sentiment. You arrange everything with and for them start to finish and you enjoy watching the smile on their faces as everything is coming together. At the front, it looks like you're just doing your job. As long as the people are having fun, you are having fun as well.
Behind the scenes, there's nobody that makes your blood boil more than the photographer you need to hire. You hate to admit that Seokmin was one of the best to do it and he proves himself to be reliable over and over again. You just can not seem to find a common ground with him unless his lips are trailing your neck.
The game started a couple of weddings ago and you could blame it on the couple of drinks you had. The second and third time, you knew that it wasn't just a stupid mistake as much as it was becoming a habit. It never went further than making out, but it still manages to sweep you off your feet.
It has almost become like a mutual agreement. Every wedding you work together became a secret makeout place, and every time Seokmin's hand travelled a bit more, he kissed you a little deeper and he lingered a bit longer.
You have no doubt that today is going to be any different. Arriving at eight in the morning and spending two hours getting the ceremony hall ready before the rest of the party comes in.
Including the person that makes your blood boil and your heart jump.
"Florals for spring?" Seokmin bobs his head, his lip curved upwards. "Groundbreaking."
You shoot him a glance.
He shrugs. "I mean, I have seen more original things."
"If it was for originality, I would've become an artist instead." You wave your hands. "You should do your job. You know, the one I hired you to do. I think the bride and groom will appreciate it if you do."
"The bride has her first look in ten minutes. I have some time."
"Then I advise you to go somewhere else instead of bothering me. I'm busy."
Before you can walk off, Seokmin has already grabbed your wrist. The look in his eyes is intense as they flick to your lips, dark almost. "I have some time," he repeats himself.
"I don't," you manage and pull your hand back. "I'm in the middle of coordinating so grab yourself a coffee before you get to work or whatever you want to do."
"Always so bossy." Seokmin's lips brushed the shell of your ear. "I like that on you."
You push him lightly, even though the heat pools in your stomach. "Save your energy for bridezilla, Seokmin. You can use all of it."
He smiled and brushed past you, his hand sliding to the small of your back. "Excuse me."
Something inside of you is telling you to slap his hand away. Another thing wants that hand in other places.
You don't pay him much attention as he walks off, but his touch lingers. You feel it sparking a flame that you're not waiting for, and the way it makes your heart jump makes you wonder what you hate more: this feeling or Seokmin himself.
The maid of honour walks into the ceremony hall and lets out a long, deep sigh. When she sees you, her cheeks flush. She excuses herself and lingers for a bit before she walks off.
You are moving the bouquets that they left at the entrance when she joins you, grabbing one vase from you.
When you turn to her, she shoots you a small smile.
"Should I ask?"
She shakes her head with a small smile. "Maybe it's best if you don't."
You put the vase down and turn to her. "Maybe I should. What's going on?"
"The bride's pissing me off," she starts and puts her hands on her hips. "I love her to death, but arranging this wedding really brought out the worst in her. And I know it's her big day…"
"I've had this so many times," you respond. "You're far from the first maid of honour to take a breather from a bridezilla."
She chuckles. "She's a horrible bridezilla and I bet she doesn't even realise it."
You shake your head and arrange the last of the bouquets. "I just hope for you that she'll be a little loose on the afterparty. There are brides who are still hammering on every single detail while they're supposed to have fun."
"Putting you out of your job, huh?" She nudges you with a grin.
"It happens every so often, yeah."
She chuckles and looks at the bouquets. "You're doing a good job, though. I don't know if the bride has gotten a chance to express her gratitude, but otherwise I'll make sure she will."
You place a hand on her shoulder and excuse yourself. Through the big sliding doors, you walk outside and take your buzzing phone out of your pocket.
The groomsmen pull up in the street and you wave at them, pointing at the parking lot next to the venue. In the meantime, you confer with the catering about their delay and you shoot the DJ a final text for tonight.
When the groomsmen greet you, you blow your cheeks. One of slaps your back with a laugh before he heads inside, the groom at the end of the line. He shoots you a weak smile before he disappears into the hallway.
You can tell whether a marriage will succeed or fail based on how the day goes. Rewind that, you just need to look at the faces of the loved ones to see what will happen before the day even starts. It's the way the groomsmen are flocked to the groom, or the way the bridemaids trail around so anxiously that you begin to think they might not even want to be there at all. Or when you look at the bride's mother and you see a frown etched into her face when she thinks nobody is looking.
But you see. You see everything and you know exactly which marriages will last and which won't.
When you step inside, the first thing you see is the maid of honour talking to one of the groomsman. By the way her brows are pushed together and the way they're talking in hushed voices, you know nothing good is coming out of that conversation.
She locks eyes with you, but her face remains stale.
You bob your head and make your way to the ceremony hall. You don't quite catch when the seats start filling up, but you greet the guests anyway. As you glance at the front, the groom isn't there. You put a step forward when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
Seokmin pulls you backward and leans in. "You're not going to like what I'm going to tell you," he whispers. The way his lips brush against the shell of your ear makes your heart jump.
You look over your shoulder and arch your eyebrow.
He motions his head toward the kitchen and you decide to follow him, ignoring the curious glances. You lean against the counter as he slides a cup under the machine. "You're going to need this. I promise you, this will be a first for you as well."
You cross your arms. "Just tell me instead of being so secretive, Seokmin."
Seokmin turns to you and the lack of equipment around his neck makes you swallow. He leans against the counter, his rolled up sleeves putting his lower arms on display. "We have another case of cheating," he starts.
"So? The wedding will be blown off." You shrug. "It's not the first time."
"Just wait for what I'm about to tell you next." He gives you the cup of coffee and reaches for his inner pocket. He holds up a small, iron flask. "Want some of this, too?"
"I'm still working."
"Not for long." He puts it back and leans against the counter again. "Turns out that the bride is seeing her — supposed to become — husband on the side. And her actual boyfriend showed up because the maid of honour and best man found out and apparently, the best man called him."
The coffee shoots into your throat. You start coughing and put the cup down. "Excuse me—"
"If I had a coffee when the maid of honour told me, I would've reacted the same."
When the coughing dies down, you stare at Seokmin. You blink a couple of times before shaking your head. "Wait a second. How did nobody know this?"
"According to the maid of honour, the bride told everybody the relationship was over."
You widen your eyes, to which Seokmin bobs his head.
"No wedding for us today. The groom told me to find you and tell you to blow it off."
You wave your hand and grab your cup. "Put some of that stuff in."
"Are you sure?" Seokmin reaches for his pocket again. "It's quite strong—"
"Perfect. Put it in."
He pours a bit of it into your cup, a pungent smell penetrating your nose. You take a spoon and stir it before downing it in one go. The alcohol and heat burn your throat as you make your way back to the ceremony hall.
It's never easy to tell people the wedding has been blown off. If anything, they look at you weird for not knowing more. Or, well, not disclosing more.
The gasps and breaths pulse through the room before it falls silent. Your eyes glide over the crowd, who are looking at each other for solace. As if they're trying to decide who stands up first and leads the way through all of the awkwardness.
You shoot all of them an apologetic smile as they trail down the path that they came towards. Seokmin joins you, but you part ways from him again and grab your phone. You pass the dressing rooms and you hear loud yelling, but you ignore it.
Even though a part of you is nosy. Very nosy.
You walk outside and call the catering first. They're not happy, but you'll make sure to contact them after today to see what you can do for them. The DJ seems more relieved than burdened by the news and your boss is shocked above all else. She tells you that she'll pick it up with them and that you'll only have to worry about turning the venue back into its usual glory.
When you're back inside, the floor is completely empty. You look around at the employees putting the tables back when you spot Seokmin at the front, talking to one of the owners.
His eyes lock onto you and he smiles, the warmth spreading through your chest. He points at you before he walks over with the owner on his trail.
"I thought I'd help you clean up," he says and squeezes your shoulder before he slips away.
You look over your shoulder as he makes his way back to the employee room.
The owner takes the news better than you expected. He claims that he needed one good look at the bride to know that something was off, but you've heard that many times before. You tell him that he can go home and you will take care of the rest. There's no need for him to stay there and you will deliver the key to him on his way home.
He opts to stay instead, but you insist. He can't do anything against your insisting — over the many times you've been at his venue, you've geared up for his attempts — and eventually, he goes home.
As the room is back to its usual community spot, you tell the employees the same.
It's halfway the afternoon, everyone long gone when you finish cleaning up. You sit at a table with your laptop, documenting everything for your boss, when Seokmin joins you.
He shoves a cup forward with a smile and takes a sip of his own.
You take a sip, the alcohol burning the back of your throat so much it makes you wince. "Jesus, how much did you put in this?"
"Enough to compensate for the wild day we've already had when it's barely 3PM," he tells you. When you stare at him, he shrugs. "I can do nice things for you."
"I'm sure you can." You put the cup and down and finish your email. "This is not what I expected to do today. The afterparty they planned was actually quite fun."
Seokmin stretches his arms as he leans back. "I hoped that could be the moment I would have you to myself for a bit. I know I like it the most when it's the afterparty."
You shoot him a look, but your cheeks flush. You turn back to your laptop.
"I mean, I have you to myself now, but there's something about the secrecy…"
"Explains why you get off so easily," you remark and scroll through your spreadsheet. You look back up to see Seokmin deadpanning you and shrug.
He crosses his arms and looks the other way. "I was going to say something nice, but never mind that."
"Hold that thought." You attached the sheet and documents to your email and watch it send before shutting it. You put it back in your bag and take one big swig of your coffee. "Okay, spill thought."
Seokmin shakes head. "Window of opportunity has closed."
"Does that mean 'I reconsidered my kindness?'"
He nods with a sweet smile, making you snort. "I have those moments often."
"I figured. For a very long time I thought there was no good bone in your body." You take your cup in hand and look at him.
His smile fades. "Wait, seriously?"
"No, but I've always found you rather annoying and cocky." You point at him with a grin. "I did notice your reaction there so I think you should spill that thought now, if you're not doing the kind one."
"I don't want you to think I'm an asshole, that's all." He shrugs and takes a sip.
You look at him, a grin playing at your lips.
"No."
"Oh, come on. What's going on?" You ask. When he doesn't reply, you deadpan him. "You've been acting way too normal for your doing anyway today. Usually you would've made it your mission to chase me up the wall."
"Well, maybe I just didn't feel like it today."
"Unlike you, but okay."
Seokmin's gaze makes your heart gallop in your chest. It has an edge, it's clearly visible, but there's something else flickering behind them. Something you haven't seen on him before. He leans back in his seat and downs the rest of his coffee. "I need something stronger for that."
Before he can get up, you grab his wrist. "Seokmin, sit down please."
He does so and pulls his arm back.
"I don't have to know what gets you so worked up all of a sudden, but I don't hate you. You just make my job incredibly difficult sometimes."
"You deserve it for being so uptight." Seokmin nudges you. "You need to loosen up sometimes, sweetheart. All I'm trying to do is putting a smile on that pretty face of yours."
Your cheeks flush with heat. When you look at him, he's fighting everything that's happening underneath the surface.
"I like seeing you smile."
"Is that the thought you needed something stronger for?"
"It's part of it." Seokmin shrugs. "It's nothing, really."
You narrowed your eyes and bobbed your head. "Okay…" You get up from the seat and grab your bag. "I'm going home. You're more than free to join me and we can just order some food and have our own afterparty."
Seokmin shows a flicker of uncertainty as he gets up as well. He smiles at you. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"
You load your stuff in the car and drive off with Seokmin's car behind you. You live just out of town, a neighbourhood where nobody would disturb you. For a city as big as this, you're glad you settled in a quieter part.
You pull into the driveway and grab your stuff as his car pulls up in the street. He parks it behind yours and gets out, observing your house with a hum. He follows you inside and you settle in the garden, the view over a meadow and a small stream running through it.
He holds the beer in his hand as his eyes observe it. "You must never get tired of this view."
"Nope." You settle yourself next to him and lean back. "I'm very lucky to be living here."
"The only thing that scares me is how easy it is to look in your neighbours' gardens."
"We have to be secretive, then."
Seokmin nudges you. "Right here in your garden? I didn't expect you to be so bold."
You snicker and hold your glass of wine up. "Cheers."
"To our own afterparty." He clings his bottle against it gently and takes a sip. He puts it down on the table and exhales. "I can't imagine playing one person like that, let alone two."
You turn your head to the side. "Are you thinking about the bride?"
"I was there when her boyfriend stormed in," Seokmin tells you. "I was taking pictures of the preparations per her request and I don't think I will ever forget the look on his face."
"This was a first for me, too," you say and stare off in the distance. "I had instances where one of them cheated, or where something happened on the day of the wedding, but never this." You shrug. "It happens. I can't be too bothered about it, but I feel bad for the men in this scenario."
He inhales sharply. "I need more of your attitude."
You chuckle. "You'll get there when you see everything so upclose."
He smiles and that's where the conversation dies out. You spend a couple of minutes in silence, then the conversations pick up as if nothing happened. Seokmin asks about your parents, about your life outside of your job and in turn, you ask him about his friends. You were amazed to learn that he's in a group of thirteen, in all stages of their life.
Your heart wants to claw out of your chest when his face lights up. All because he's telling you that he's an uncle. You feel your hands reaching out to him, but you pull back. With a smile on your face, you listen to the stories he tells.
Even past dinner, he still finds things to talk about and you start to realise that you don't mind doing this every day. Coming home after work and having Seokmin over, talking about your days and about your lives. Getting to know each other in more ways than just making out at weddings.
"What did you want to tell me earlier?" You ask. "Otherwise I'll go first."
Seokmin freezes in his seat. His eyes dart to you. "Do you mean the thought that needed something stronger?"
You nod.
He swallows and waves his hand. "Yeah, you go first."
You grab his face and pull him into a kiss. You feel him tense up before he returns it, his hands traveling to your waist. You try to deepen it, but he pulls back.
"Are you sure you want to do this in your garden?" He whispered against your lips. "I don't know how far I'll take it."
You chuckle and kiss him again. "You can go as far as you want to."
He groans and pulls you into his lap. "The magic words."
Your lips connect in a kiss like never before. The heat pools in your stomach as he pushes your top up, his hands leaving a trail of heat on your skin as they slide underneath. You slide your hands underneath his open blouse and push it down. His shoulders tense up under your touch, and he releases a soft groan against your lips when you shift in his lap.
"You have no idea what you do to me," he says in a low tone. "How long I've waited to do more, to be more." He kisses your neck and your stomach tightens. "The secrecy is fun, but I want you every day. Not just in a staff room at a wedding venue."
"Please," you breathed out. Your hands entangle in his hair as he nips on your pulse. "I want you, too, Seokmin. I'm sick of waiting until a wedding to see you again."
"You have me until the day I die."
In your garden that night, you both surrendered to the game that you've been playing. And for the first time in your life, you could live with a draw.
THERE IS NOTHING SO DANGEROUSLY THRILLING AS WALKING THE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE, ESPECIALLY AT WEDDINGS. YOU AND SEOKMIN ARE ADDICTED TO IT
PAIRING: wedding photographer!seokmin x wedding planner!reader
WC: 3,518
GENRE: non idol | romance
TAGS: rivals if you squint very hard, they are actually kind of in love with each other already, mentions of sex, slight making out, loads of teasing, seokmin is kind of cocky but it's hot i promise
INCOMING ORBIT MESSAGE: welcome to the first fic for the Love Letter Collab, hosted by me and my beloved boba wifey @livmarauder! we're so happy to be doing this after both hitting 200 followers and this is our thank you to our moots who have been supporting us along the way. @aeristudios this cocky dk is for you. i hope you enjoy it <3
Weddings are a place to celebrate love and unity, where people come together for the ones they care about. You are the one in charge of protecting this sentiment. You arrange everything with and for them start to finish and you enjoy watching the smile on their faces as everything is coming together. At the front, it looks like you're just doing your job. As long as the people are having fun, you are having fun as well.
Behind the scenes, there's nobody that makes your blood boil more than the photographer you need to hire. You hate to admit that Seokmin was one of the best to do it and he proves himself to be reliable over and over again. You just can not seem to find a common ground with him unless his lips are trailing your neck.
The game started a couple of weddings ago and you could blame it on the couple of drinks you had. The second and third time, you knew that it wasn't just a stupid mistake as much as it was becoming a habit. It never went further than making out, but it still manages to sweep you off your feet.
It has almost become like a mutual agreement. Every wedding you work together became a secret makeout place, and every time Seokmin's hand travelled a bit more, he kissed you a little deeper and he lingered a bit longer.
You have no doubt that today is going to be any different. Arriving at eight in the morning and spending two hours getting the ceremony hall ready before the rest of the party comes in.
Including the person that makes your blood boil and your heart jump.
"Florals for spring?" Seokmin bobs his head, his lip curved upwards. "Groundbreaking."
You shoot him a glance.
He shrugs. "I mean, I have seen more original things."
"If it was for originality, I would've become an artist instead." You wave your hands. "You should do your job. You know, the one I hired you to do. I think the bride and groom will appreciate it if you do."
"The bride has her first look in ten minutes. I have some time."
"Then I advise you to go somewhere else instead of bothering me. I'm busy."
Before you can walk off, Seokmin has already grabbed your wrist. The look in his eyes is intense as they flick to your lips, dark almost. "I have some time," he repeats himself.
"I don't," you manage and pull your hand back. "I'm in the middle of coordinating so grab yourself a coffee before you get to work or whatever you want to do."
"Always so bossy." Seokmin's lips brushed the shell of your ear. "I like that on you."
You push him lightly, even though the heat pools in your stomach. "Save your energy for bridezilla, Seokmin. You can use all of it."
He smiled and brushed past you, his hand sliding to the small of your back. "Excuse me."
Something inside of you is telling you to slap his hand away. Another thing wants that hand in other places.
You don't pay him much attention as he walks off, but his touch lingers. You feel it sparking a flame that you're not waiting for, and the way it makes your heart jump makes you wonder what you hate more: this feeling or Seokmin himself.
The maid of honour walks into the ceremony hall and lets out a long, deep sigh. When she sees you, her cheeks flush. She excuses herself and lingers for a bit before she walks off.
You are moving the bouquets that they left at the entrance when she joins you, grabbing one vase from you.
When you turn to her, she shoots you a small smile.
"Should I ask?"
She shakes her head with a small smile. "Maybe it's best if you don't."
You put the vase down and turn to her. "Maybe I should. What's going on?"
"The bride's pissing me off," she starts and puts her hands on her hips. "I love her to death, but arranging this wedding really brought out the worst in her. And I know it's her big day…"
"I've had this so many times," you respond. "You're far from the first maid of honour to take a breather from a bridezilla."
She chuckles. "She's a horrible bridezilla and I bet she doesn't even realise it."
You shake your head and arrange the last of the bouquets. "I just hope for you that she'll be a little loose on the afterparty. There are brides who are still hammering on every single detail while they're supposed to have fun."
"Putting you out of your job, huh?" She nudges you with a grin.
"It happens every so often, yeah."
She chuckles and looks at the bouquets. "You're doing a good job, though. I don't know if the bride has gotten a chance to express her gratitude, but otherwise I'll make sure she will."
You place a hand on her shoulder and excuse yourself. Through the big sliding doors, you walk outside and take your buzzing phone out of your pocket.
The groomsmen pull up in the street and you wave at them, pointing at the parking lot next to the venue. In the meantime, you confer with the catering about their delay and you shoot the DJ a final text for tonight.
When the groomsmen greet you, you blow your cheeks. One of slaps your back with a laugh before he heads inside, the groom at the end of the line. He shoots you a weak smile before he disappears into the hallway.
You can tell whether a marriage will succeed or fail based on how the day goes. Rewind that, you just need to look at the faces of the loved ones to see what will happen before the day even starts. It's the way the groomsmen are flocked to the groom, or the way the bridemaids trail around so anxiously that you begin to think they might not even want to be there at all. Or when you look at the bride's mother and you see a frown etched into her face when she thinks nobody is looking.
But you see. You see everything and you know exactly which marriages will last and which won't.
When you step inside, the first thing you see is the maid of honour talking to one of the groomsman. By the way her brows are pushed together and the way they're talking in hushed voices, you know nothing good is coming out of that conversation.
She locks eyes with you, but her face remains stale.
You bob your head and make your way to the ceremony hall. You don't quite catch when the seats start filling up, but you greet the guests anyway. As you glance at the front, the groom isn't there. You put a step forward when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
Seokmin pulls you backward and leans in. "You're not going to like what I'm going to tell you," he whispers. The way his lips brush against the shell of your ear makes your heart jump.
You look over your shoulder and arch your eyebrow.
He motions his head toward the kitchen and you decide to follow him, ignoring the curious glances. You lean against the counter as he slides a cup under the machine. "You're going to need this. I promise you, this will be a first for you as well."
You cross your arms. "Just tell me instead of being so secretive, Seokmin."
Seokmin turns to you and the lack of equipment around his neck makes you swallow. He leans against the counter, his rolled up sleeves putting his lower arms on display. "We have another case of cheating," he starts.
"So? The wedding will be blown off." You shrug. "It's not the first time."
"Just wait for what I'm about to tell you next." He gives you the cup of coffee and reaches for his inner pocket. He holds up a small, iron flask. "Want some of this, too?"
"I'm still working."
"Not for long." He puts it back and leans against the counter again. "Turns out that the bride is seeing her — supposed to become — husband on the side. And her actual boyfriend showed up because the maid of honour and best man found out and apparently, the best man called him."
The coffee shoots into your throat. You start coughing and put the cup down. "Excuse me—"
"If I had a coffee when the maid of honour told me, I would've reacted the same."
When the coughing dies down, you stare at Seokmin. You blink a couple of times before shaking your head. "Wait a second. How did nobody know this?"
"According to the maid of honour, the bride told everybody the relationship was over."
You widen your eyes, to which Seokmin bobs his head.
"No wedding for us today. The groom told me to find you and tell you to blow it off."
You wave your hand and grab your cup. "Put some of that stuff in."
"Are you sure?" Seokmin reaches for his pocket again. "It's quite strong—"
"Perfect. Put it in."
He pours a bit of it into your cup, a pungent smell penetrating your nose. You take a spoon and stir it before downing it in one go. The alcohol and heat burn your throat as you make your way back to the ceremony hall.
It's never easy to tell people the wedding has been blown off. If anything, they look at you weird for not knowing more. Or, well, not disclosing more.
The gasps and breaths pulse through the room before it falls silent. Your eyes glide over the crowd, who are looking at each other for solace. As if they're trying to decide who stands up first and leads the way through all of the awkwardness.
You shoot all of them an apologetic smile as they trail down the path that they came towards. Seokmin joins you, but you part ways from him again and grab your phone. You pass the dressing rooms and you hear loud yelling, but you ignore it.
Even though a part of you is nosy. Very nosy.
You walk outside and call the catering first. They're not happy, but you'll make sure to contact them after today to see what you can do for them. The DJ seems more relieved than burdened by the news and your boss is shocked above all else. She tells you that she'll pick it up with them and that you'll only have to worry about turning the venue back into its usual glory.
When you're back inside, the floor is completely empty. You look around at the employees putting the tables back when you spot Seokmin at the front, talking to one of the owners.
His eyes lock onto you and he smiles, the warmth spreading through your chest. He points at you before he walks over with the owner on his trail.
"I thought I'd help you clean up," he says and squeezes your shoulder before he slips away.
You look over your shoulder as he makes his way back to the employee room.
The owner takes the news better than you expected. He claims that he needed one good look at the bride to know that something was off, but you've heard that many times before. You tell him that he can go home and you will take care of the rest. There's no need for him to stay there and you will deliver the key to him on his way home.
He opts to stay instead, but you insist. He can't do anything against your insisting — over the many times you've been at his venue, you've geared up for his attempts — and eventually, he goes home.
As the room is back to its usual community spot, you tell the employees the same.
It's halfway the afternoon, everyone long gone when you finish cleaning up. You sit at a table with your laptop, documenting everything for your boss, when Seokmin joins you.
He shoves a cup forward with a smile and takes a sip of his own.
You take a sip, the alcohol burning the back of your throat so much it makes you wince. "Jesus, how much did you put in this?"
"Enough to compensate for the wild day we've already had when it's barely 3PM," he tells you. When you stare at him, he shrugs. "I can do nice things for you."
"I'm sure you can." You put the cup and down and finish your email. "This is not what I expected to do today. The afterparty they planned was actually quite fun."
Seokmin stretches his arms as he leans back. "I hoped that could be the moment I would have you to myself for a bit. I know I like it the most when it's the afterparty."
You shoot him a look, but your cheeks flush. You turn back to your laptop.
"I mean, I have you to myself now, but there's something about the secrecy…"
"Explains why you get off so easily," you remark and scroll through your spreadsheet. You look back up to see Seokmin deadpanning you and shrug.
He crosses his arms and looks the other way. "I was going to say something nice, but never mind that."
"Hold that thought." You attached the sheet and documents to your email and watch it send before shutting it. You put it back in your bag and take one big swig of your coffee. "Okay, spill thought."
Seokmin shakes head. "Window of opportunity has closed."
"Does that mean 'I reconsidered my kindness?'"
He nods with a sweet smile, making you snort. "I have those moments often."
"I figured. For a very long time I thought there was no good bone in your body." You take your cup in hand and look at him.
His smile fades. "Wait, seriously?"
"No, but I've always found you rather annoying and cocky." You point at him with a grin. "I did notice your reaction there so I think you should spill that thought now, if you're not doing the kind one."
"I don't want you to think I'm an asshole, that's all." He shrugs and takes a sip.
You look at him, a grin playing at your lips.
"No."
"Oh, come on. What's going on?" You ask. When he doesn't reply, you deadpan him. "You've been acting way too normal for your doing anyway today. Usually you would've made it your mission to chase me up the wall."
"Well, maybe I just didn't feel like it today."
"Unlike you, but okay."
Seokmin's gaze makes your heart gallop in your chest. It has an edge, it's clearly visible, but there's something else flickering behind them. Something you haven't seen on him before. He leans back in his seat and downs the rest of his coffee. "I need something stronger for that."
Before he can get up, you grab his wrist. "Seokmin, sit down please."
He does so and pulls his arm back.
"I don't have to know what gets you so worked up all of a sudden, but I don't hate you. You just make my job incredibly difficult sometimes."
"You deserve it for being so uptight." Seokmin nudges you. "You need to loosen up sometimes, sweetheart. All I'm trying to do is putting a smile on that pretty face of yours."
Your cheeks flush with heat. When you look at him, he's fighting everything that's happening underneath the surface.
"I like seeing you smile."
"Is that the thought you needed something stronger for?"
"It's part of it." Seokmin shrugs. "It's nothing, really."
You narrowed your eyes and bobbed your head. "Okay…" You get up from the seat and grab your bag. "I'm going home. You're more than free to join me and we can just order some food and have our own afterparty."
Seokmin shows a flicker of uncertainty as he gets up as well. He smiles at you. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"
You load your stuff in the car and drive off with Seokmin's car behind you. You live just out of town, a neighbourhood where nobody would disturb you. For a city as big as this, you're glad you settled in a quieter part.
You pull into the driveway and grab your stuff as his car pulls up in the street. He parks it behind yours and gets out, observing your house with a hum. He follows you inside and you settle in the garden, the view over a meadow and a small stream running through it.
He holds the beer in his hand as his eyes observe it. "You must never get tired of this view."
"Nope." You settle yourself next to him and lean back. "I'm very lucky to be living here."
"The only thing that scares me is how easy it is to look in your neighbours' gardens."
"We have to be secretive, then."
Seokmin nudges you. "Right here in your garden? I didn't expect you to be so bold."
You snicker and hold your glass of wine up. "Cheers."
"To our own afterparty." He clings his bottle against it gently and takes a sip. He puts it down on the table and exhales. "I can't imagine playing one person like that, let alone two."
You turn your head to the side. "Are you thinking about the bride?"
"I was there when her boyfriend stormed in," Seokmin tells you. "I was taking pictures of the preparations per her request and I don't think I will ever forget the look on his face."
"This was a first for me, too," you say and stare off in the distance. "I had instances where one of them cheated, or where something happened on the day of the wedding, but never this." You shrug. "It happens. I can't be too bothered about it, but I feel bad for the men in this scenario."
He inhales sharply. "I need more of your attitude."
You chuckle. "You'll get there when you see everything so upclose."
He smiles and that's where the conversation dies out. You spend a couple of minutes in silence, then the conversations pick up as if nothing happened. Seokmin asks about your parents, about your life outside of your job and in turn, you ask him about his friends. You were amazed to learn that he's in a group of thirteen, in all stages of their life.
Your heart wants to claw out of your chest when his face lights up. All because he's telling you that he's an uncle. You feel your hands reaching out to him, but you pull back. With a smile on your face, you listen to the stories he tells.
Even past dinner, he still finds things to talk about and you start to realise that you don't mind doing this every day. Coming home after work and having Seokmin over, talking about your days and about your lives. Getting to know each other in more ways than just making out at weddings.
"What did you want to tell me earlier?" You ask. "Otherwise I'll go first."
Seokmin freezes in his seat. His eyes dart to you. "Do you mean the thought that needed something stronger?"
You nod.
He swallows and waves his hand. "Yeah, you go first."
You grab his face and pull him into a kiss. You feel him tense up before he returns it, his hands traveling to your waist. You try to deepen it, but he pulls back.
"Are you sure you want to do this in your garden?" He whispered against your lips. "I don't know how far I'll take it."
You chuckle and kiss him again. "You can go as far as you want to."
He groans and pulls you into his lap. "The magic words."
Your lips connect in a kiss like never before. The heat pools in your stomach as he pushes your top up, his hands leaving a trail of heat on your skin as they slide underneath. You slide your hands underneath his open blouse and push it down. His shoulders tense up under your touch, and he releases a soft groan against your lips when you shift in his lap.
"You have no idea what you do to me," he says in a low tone. "How long I've waited to do more, to be more." He kisses your neck and your stomach tightens. "The secrecy is fun, but I want you every day. Not just in a staff room at a wedding venue."
"Please," you breathed out. Your hands entangle in his hair as he nips on your pulse. "I want you, too, Seokmin. I'm sick of waiting until a wedding to see you again."
"You have me until the day I die."
In your garden that night, you both surrendered to the game that you've been playing. And for the first time in your life, you could live with a draw.
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Seungcheol is in the middle of a game when you get home, but the moment he notices you, he pulls you onto his lap and keeps one arm around your waist but after a while u try and tease him by tickling his stomach but hes not ticklish he pulls ur arm away and then once the game ends he “deals” with you
request: open 👀
The apartment was dark except for the glow of the large monitor in the living room. You slipped off your shoes quietly, the faint click of the door barely audible over the rapid clicking of a keyboard and the low hum of Seungcheol’s voice as he called shots to his teammates. You smiled at the familiar scene.
He was deep in it headphones on, shoulders tense, one hand flying over the mouse while the other rested on the desk. But the second you stepped into the soft light of the room, his head snapped toward you.His eyes softened instantly.Without missing a beat in the game, he rolled his chair back just enough and reached for you with his free arm.
“C’mere,” he murmured, voice low and warm.
You barely had time to protest before he tugged you onto his lap, settling you sideways across his thighs. His arm wrapped securely around your waist, palm splayed over your hip like he needed to keep you anchored there. The warmth of his chest pressed against your side, and you could feel the steady rhythm of his breathing even as he continued playing.
“Missed you,” he said softly against your hair, eyes still glued to the screen. His thumb traced lazy circles on your waist under your shirt.You hummed, relaxing into him. Being home after a long day and immediately wrapped up in Seungcheol like this was the best kind of comfort. You rested your head on his shoulder, watching the game unfold in bright flashes of color and explosions.
For a while you stayed still, enjoying the way his body moved subtly beneath you with every reaction. But after ten minutes of him occasionally pressing quick kisses to your temple while still locked in, a mischievous idea sparked.
You let your fingers drift under the hem of his hoodie, brushing lightly over the firm planes of his stomach. Then you went for it tickling.
Nothing.
You tried harder, wiggling your fingers faster, searching for any weak spot. Seungcheol didn’t even flinch. Instead, a low chuckle rumbled through his chest.
“Not ticklish, baby,” he said, voice amused but still focused on the match. Before you could pull away, his free hand caught your wrist in a gentle but firm grip, pulling it away from his stomach and pinning it against your own thigh.
“Behave.”
You pouted, trying your other hand. He caught that one too, easily trapping both your wrists in one large hand while his other stayed on the mouse.
“Cheol—”
“Shh. Almost done,” he murmured, lips brushing your ear. The deep timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel the shift in his body now the way his hold on you tightened, possessive and promising.
The final team fight played out in a flurry of skill shots and calls. Seungcheol’s focus was razor sharp… until the victory screen flashed. The moment the word “WIN” appeared, he exhaled, tossed his headphones onto the desk, and spun the chair around with you still firmly in his lap.His dark eyes met yours, a smirk tugging at his lips.
“You really thought you could distract me and get away with it?”
You tried to look innocent.
“I was just being affectionate.”
“Tickling me during ranked is affectionate?”
He raised an eyebrow, still holding both your wrists. With one smooth motion he stood up, lifting you effortlessly with him. Your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as he carried you toward the bedroom.
“Cheol, wait—”
“Nope.”
He kicked the door shut behind you both and lowered you onto the bed, following right after. His body covered yours, warm and solid, caging you in.
“Game’s over. Now I get to deal with you.”
He pinned your wrists above your head with one hand, the other sliding slowly up your side. His gaze was playful but heated, lips hovering just above yours.
“You’re lucky I love you,” he whispered, brushing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
“Because now you’re not getting up until I’ve had my fill of teasing you back.”
His fingers danced along your ribs light, deliberate, and far more effective than yours had been. You squirmed and laughed, trying to twist away, but he just chuckled darkly and held you closer.
Pairing ✨ Wonwoo x Female OC (ft. Jeonghan + Mingyu)
Synopsis ✨ When you had a baby with your on and off again situationship/ best friend, you couldn't cope. He and his friends took care of the baby whilst you got the help you needed. Now she's four, you're all living together and somehow all four of you are trying to navigate being normal 30 year olds and raising your daughter.
🩵 Very much a take on Three Men And A Little Lady (six year old me's favourite film) 🩵
Genre ✨ found family, fluff, angst, smut
Plot warnings ✨found family but also all their families are supportive, Wonwoo is a surgeon, Mingyu is a vlogger, Jeonghan is rich? (stay at home dad), OC is an artist, their daughter is called Areum (referred to as Areum and Ari), Wonwoo isn't the biological dad, descriptions of struggling to cope, postnatal depression (this is only really explicitly talked about at the start), very brief reference to abortion, she leaves the baby with the guys, Jeonghan being an absolute supportive king, IDIOTS in love, Jeonghan and Mingyu are unhelpful to the max when it comes to oc and Wonwoo's relationship, bi Jeonghan, Jeonghan struggling to come to terms with being bi, drinking, misunderstandings, Seokmin slander (he's a terrible date), spiralling, Wonwoo hating every child that isn't theirs, they're all the best girl dads there's ever been, mentions of cheating and homewrecking (there isn't any, OC is just a grade A idiot), sort of cliff hanger ending but it's obvious what'll happen and I'm going to do a little follow up to this when I get round to it
Smut warnings ✨ oral m.receiving/ dildo receiving(?), use of sex toys (aforementioned dildo), dom Wonwoo, deep throating, choking, body worship, Wonwoo is big, slight finger sucking (it has been pointed out I almost always include this so I'm just doubling down on the finger sucking), slight body insecurity (it's more nerves really), mating press, fluffy yet filthy sex?, unprotected sex-ish (she is on birth control), possessive Wonwoo, slight possessive OC, marking (back scratches), creampie, A LOT of saying I love you, slight cum play
Word count ✨ 19.5k
a/n ✨ I have deleted this no less than three times, written about ten other stories when I decided it was rubbish and then fell in love with the idea again and finally got my shit together and rewrote it. So this has been sitting in my drafts since I finished it, waiting for the loml's birthday (why does it feel like Wonwoo has been away for 300 years? I swear they're making my man do double the amount of time). And it took a lot of self restraint to not give one of them a comically large mustache so it was more like the original film. I won't be uploading anything for a few weeks because life is about to be hectic, so I hope you enjoy this little piece of chaos for Wonwoo's birthday!
Four Years Ago:
“What do you think you're going to do with those?"
“Defend us?" Mingyu says it like it should be obvious, holding his hair straighteners aloft ready to fight off anyone and everyone.
“Oh you'll really show whoever it is you mean business in that fluffy robe."
“Fuck you Wonwoo, at least…."
“Shut up! Let's just…take a deep breath,” Jeonghan dramatically breathes in and out.
“What the fuck is wrong with you two? People hardly ring the buzzer if they're about to rob or murder you."
“You don’t know that Wonwoo," Jeonghan holds up a finger to shut him up.
“Yeah, it might just be a really polite murderer," Mingyu adds.
“Pair of fucking idiots."
"You shouldn't let him talk to you like that, it's your penthouse Jeonghan,"
“I pay rent! Try it sometime Mingyu!" Wonwoo hollers as he struts to the front door.
"He's really fucking mean when he's tired.”
"He is right dude, it's been months since you paid me rent.”
"You're a gazillionaire.”
"It's the gesture, y'know?”
"Whatever,” Mingyu rolls his eyes as they come to stand at the front door either side of Wonwoo.
"Well. Open it then,”
"Oh noooooow you're not so brave!”
"I just think it's your penthouse, you should open the door."
“Mingyu," Jeonghan turns to his friend, “open the door."
“Why me?!"
“You've got the straighteners."
“And you're built like a house." Wonwoo chimes in.
“And what’ll happen when you give me a complex huh? Who'll be the butt of your jokes then?”
"Still you.”
"Just open the door Mingyu!” Jeonghan barks, clearly having had enough of his two best friends come roommates.
"Alright! There's no need to shout!”
He wraps his hand around the doorknob, taking a deep breath as his two friends shift awkwardly on their feet, dreading whatever is behind the door. Because nothing good ever comes of unannounced guests at three in the morning.
Mingyu flings the door open and they all frown, there's nobody there? Had they spent so long arguing that whoever it was walked off in boredom? Or it was just some kids messing about? But this is the penthouse of one of the most exclusive buildings in the city, you can't get up here without a code.
A babbling shocks them though.
“Is that?"
“What the hell?"
“Is that a……”
A baby's giggle makes them all jump back.
"How did it ring the buzzer?” Mingyu whispers to Wonwoo.
"There's a note idiot.” Jeonghan reaches down but pauses when he sees his name written on the envelope.
“It knows your name?" Mingyu asks in wonder.
"Did you go to school?”
"Hey fuck you Wo…" he stops himself when he realises he's sworn in front of the baby.
“Are you gonna, y’know, open it?" Wonwoo presses.
“O-oh, yeah sure,"
His fingers shake as he opens the envelope, a weird feeling of doom hanging over him.
Jeonghan,
I don't even know what to write. I guess I should start with I'm sorry? I know we were nothing serious, I know I just stopped picking up your calls but I just didn't know what to do.
I've tried Jeonghan, I really have but I can't do it. I can't be what she needs, I can't be what I need right now.
I feel like I'm sinking and I can't take her down with me, she deserves someone, anyone other than me.
Her name's Areum, she's two months old and she's yours. And don't worry, you have my full permission to do a DNA test. I wouldn't trust me either. I've put her favourite blanket and teddy bear in her bag, there's some formula too and some clean clothes.
Just know that I tried. Please please know that I really did try my best for her.
And tell her mommy loves her, I'm just doing what's best for her. My best was just never going to be good enough for her or anyone.
I hope you'll both forgive me,
______
“_____!" Jeonghan throws the note at Wonwoo and sprints to the elevator.
He needs to find you, he needs to get to you. He knew it was weird you stopped picking up the phone but you're a free spirit, always have been ever since you both met at university.
He should've kept calling, he should've hammered your fucking door down.
You've had a baby, you've had his baby and you've done it all on your fucking own. Sure, it wasn't planned, you two just fooled around whenever you were drunk and single at the same time. It was reckless and stupid but you both got what you needed and so you didn't see a problem with it. But he'd never desert you, he'd never not step up to be what you and the baby needed. You're his friend and he loves you, he should've shown you that. Maybe then you wouldn't be in this state.
He slams the button again and again until eventually the doors open and he rushes in. A part of him hoped you'd still be in here but it's just silence, so silent he feels like he can hear his heart beat.
The doors open in the foyer and he was rushes out onto the street, his head in his hands as he looks up and down over and over again hoping to spot you disappearing into the distance.
But it's no use.
You've already disappeared.
You've disappeared and he's got no way of finding out if you're ok.
What the fuck is he thinking he knows you're not ok but that only makes everything so much worse. He's not bothered you didn't tell him about the baby, he's not bothered you've had the baby at the moment, his concern is you and whatever state of mind you're in.
But he knows he can't do anything about it at three in the morning. As soon as the hour is a bit more reasonable, he'll call your parents, he'll call your old school friends, fuck he’ll call the police if he has to. But he will make sure you're ok. He owes you that much.
At some point his feet bring him back to his apartment, the door slams behind him and he finds his two best friends watching a baby he didn't know existed ten minutes, as it bounces in its carrier.
“Did you find her?"
“She's gone,"
“We'll find her Jeonghan, I promise." Mingyu squeezes his shoulder.
“I don't know what to do," Jeonghan whispers, staring down at a baby that has his eyes.
“We take care of her." Wonwoo mumbles.
“_____ or the baby?"
“Both."
“Yoon Areum if you don’t get down here right now I’ll send Mingyu up there!” Jeonghan booms up the stairs.
“What’s Mingyu gonna do, paint their nails together?”
“He’s got a new thing where he pretends to cry because he realised she’ll do as she’s told then,” You tell Wonwoo as you sip your coffee.
“That’s manipulation.”
“And you reading her the dictionary is child cruelty.” Jeonghan fires back as he pours pancake batter in the pan on the stove.
“Excuse me? I think you’ll find that our daughter has the reading age of a high schooler.”
“She also has the reading tastes of an old lady,”
“Jeonghan’s right, I found her reading Agatha Christie the other day.”
“One of the greatest female writers of all time,” Wonwoo says proudly.
“It’s about murder Wonwoo.” You deadpan.
“Murder happens. It’s better she knows.”
“She’s four!” Jeonghan spins round.
“This is just another thing that they’re going to use against us,” you groan and rest your head on the kitchen island.
Wonwoo and Jeonghan share a look. You’d been panicking, they all knew it. For the past almost four years you’ve all been living together at Jeonghan’s penthouse. You’d been friends for years but when you found out you were pregnant you just spiralled. Like massively spiralled. You shut everyone off, ashamed that you’d fucked up so much. Sure you weren’t a complete mess but you were in no way ready for a baby. You’d made an appointment, you were going to go to the clinic and the whole thing would be over.
But when it came to it. You just couldn’t. You ran away from the clinic and away from everyone in your life. Even at the hospital, when you were giving birth, they pleaded with you to let them contact your parents or the father but you just wouldn’t. You were adamant this was your fuck up and you’d deal with it.
And then she arrived, the most beautiful baby you’d ever seen in your life. You took her back to your apartment and then things just went from bad to worse. You couldn’t get out of bed, you couldn’t eat, you just couldn’t function and you knew you were letting her down. You weren’t even looking after yourself well enough that she had enough milk, she had to go onto formula and that was just another thing that showed you how shit a mother you were. No matter how many times the medical visitor said it was totally normal for some mothers not to be able to feed as well as others and not to blame yourself, you still did. You were letting her down.
You brought her into this world and now you were letting her down. It was when she’d been crying for hours and you were sobbing on the floor that you knew you had to do something. It wasn’t loving her right to try and struggle through, it was loving her more to not be around her. You’d just ruin her life. You already were ruining her life.
Your parents would help. You knew they would. They’re well off, you’d never wanted anything in life, hell they’d even let you live at home for years until your paintings finally started selling and you could sustain yourself. But if anything that made it worse. You came from a good family. You’d made yourself a more than comfortable life, you had enough money to do whatever you wanted which is pretty rare for a 26 year old.
So if money and family and surroundings weren’t the reason you were struggling so much to give your baby what she needed. The only problem, the only common denominator in how shit life was for you and Areum. Was you.
Jeonghan was a good man, you’d been friends for years and he had a good family. Better than good. One of the richest families in Korea though they were somehow a close knit loving family in spite of the money and power they had. They’d look after her. And that’s what she needed, people that loved her like you but weren’t fucking terrible at everything.
It broke you to leave her. It broke you to see Jeonghan running after you. If he’d have just run down the stairwell instead of taking the elevator, he’d have found you.
You wanted to walk away but you couldn’t.
Not until you knew she was safe in his hands.
The next day he sat outside your apartment until you finally answered, telling you that he had all the time in the world because Wonwoo and Mingyu were knee deep in diapers. Eventually you answered and he didn’t shout or scream. He just sat and listened and held you when you cried. By the end of that week you’d seen a doctor, your mom, Jeonghan’s mom and Jeonghan with you, as the doctor told you that none of it was your fault and you weren’t a bad mother. A bad mother would never wait to make sure her daughter was safe. A bad mother wouldn’t have realised how bad the situation was for you or the baby. They diagnosed you with post natal depression and you spent a couple of weeks with your parents.
The guys would bring Areum by every couple of days and between her smiling face and the chaos of the three men who had come to dote on her, you gradually got better.
After a few weeks Jeonghan suggested you move in with them. He had more than enough room for you to have your own space and they’d even decided to turn the home gym into Areum’s bedroom for when she was old enough to sleep on her own. They’d bought everything they needed for a baby and more besides. And when you said you weren’t sure, all three of them descended on you saying it was what they all wanted. They wanted to be there and surely the more help, the better.
You agreed and the rest is history.
It wasn’t always easy but it worked. She had three men who would do anything for her, who you see in her ever flourishing personality and you’d managed to become the mother she deserved. It didn’t stop you doubting yourself or worrying about what people thought but with three of the best cheerleaders in the world on your side, life was good. A bit mad. But good.
“He’s on the phone to Hyeji anyway, they’re probably going you hang up , no you hang up. There’s more chance of Ari throwing up than doing what she’s told.”
“I like her! She’s been good for him!”
“I’m not saying she hasn’t, I just wish they didn’t live in two different countries, I’m sick of hearing them having phone sex.”
You and Jeonghan grimace at that.
Mingyu and his girlfriend met online. They’re vloggers. Or bloggers. Or….something to do with going to cafes and eating too much food on the internet. He makes decent money off it, even enough to pay Jeonghan all the rent he owed him over the years, but you’ve no idea how he makes money off just wandering around the city when it’s raining and then drinking an overpriced latte. But he’s happy and that’s all that matters.
“When are you going to introduce us to your new girlfriend?” You turn on your stool to smirk at Jeonghan.
“I don’t have one.”
“Oh please, you’re always smiling at your phone.”
“Do you not think it’s weird to try and pimp out your baby daddy?”
“Not at all, I’m just trying to get you to leave the house.”
“It’s not my fault I’ve somehow become a maid for you three and our daughter. Talking of her, AREUM YOU HAVE TILL THREE OR I’M COMING UP THERE,” He marches off with his hands on his hips.
“It’ll all be fine you know,”
“I know it will you,” you sigh as you turn back to Wonwoo, “it’s just I know people will think it’s weird and I don’t really care about them, I just don’t want them to take it out on Ari.”
“Ari can handle herself.” Wonwoo nods, smiling.
“I know but this is the first time she’s going to be around normal families,”
“Hey, there is nothing normal. And she’s one of the most well adjusted, intelligent, beautiful little girls I’ve ever met. And I’m a doctor so I should know.”
“You’re a heart surgeon,” you narrow your eyes at him, “how many kids have heart attacks?”
“It happens,” he shrugs, “but I see them in the hospital, roaming around the place like feral animals. She’s way better than other kids.”
“I’m not sure you can say that,”
“Well I did,” he takes a slice of toast as a flustered Jeonghan stomps back into the kitchen.
“She wants Wonwoo to do her hair, apparently the way I do plaits is wrong.”
“I am good with my hands,” Wonwoo beams, throwing his toast down as he rushes off to do your daughter's hair.
He’s no idea what he’s just said or the road your mind is currently travelling down but Jeonghan smiles knowingly at you watching Wonwoo disappear up the stairs and goes back to making pancakes.
“Why don’t you just tell him?”
“Tell who what?”
“Tell Wonwoo how you feel.”
“He’s already asked me how I’m feeling today, it’s a big day, you’ve all asked me.”
“Don’t get smart with me _____, I know you better than anyone.”
It’s true. He does. You’d realised pretty early on, probably before you even had Areum, that you and Jeonghan worked really well together. But it’s very much just as friends. It was just letting off steam whenever you had sex, like a weird situationship where you were best friends until you were both horny and then you were both just means to an end.
It worked. There was no jealousy or arguing about other people because you knew you didn’t love each other like that. You did love each other but like he’s a family member. You loved that you both brought Areum into the world. And that’s lucky. Because couples break up all the time and ruin their kid’s lives. But you two are best friends raising your child with your two other friends and if anything, you feel more secure than you would in a relationship and raising a child.
“What do you want me to say?” You whine quietly.
“Tell Wonwoo….”
“Tell Wonwoo what?” The man himself jumps down the bottom step of the stairs whilst a very excited Areum runs at you.
“Mommy! Can you please tell him that I wasn’t late. I’m right on time, we only start at 9am.”
“I thought it was 8:30?”
“That’s what mommy told you but it’s because you’re always late.”
“Are you serious?!” Jeonghan spins round, almost knocking the pancakes off the counter.
“You are always late.” You dismiss him.
“You,” he points at his daughter with the spatula, “come here and eat these pancakes. I demand it.”
“Is there syrup?” Ari asks, her hands on her hips, the complete double of her father.
“Obviously. I’m not a monster.”
“Ok then,” she giggles and Jeonghan scoops her up into his arms as they flip the last pancake.
“What did you need to tell me?” Wonwoo asks softly as he sits back down.
“O-oh!” Fuck you need to think of something convincing, “I er, I have an appointment at the hospital and it’s around lunch time.”
“Ok?” His eyebrows knit together, “It’s nothing serious is it? Anything I can do?”
“No! No, it’s just a dermatologist appointment. Not that I have a rash or something! It’s just a follow up about some dry skin.” Fuck, shut the hell up ______.
“Thanks for letting me know? I guess?”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to grab lunch? What with me being there and you being there and us living together, y’know as friends.”
He sits in silence until you finish whatever bullshit is coming out of your mouth.
“Sorry _____, I have plans for lunch.”
Of course he fucking does. You weren’t even going to tell him you were going to the hospital, you’d be happily eating your breakfast if it wasn’t for fucking Jeonghan.
“No problem!” You smile fakely and grab the jam.
“We could…..”
But you don’t hear Wonwoo’s gentle voice because Jeonghan launches a pancake so high into the air that it sticks to his ten foot ceilings and chaos ensues.
The rest of the morning passes in a whirlwind of a messy kitchen, photos with all of you and Areum before her first day at school and then Jeonghan and Wonwoo trying to calm you and Mingyu down as you both bawl in the back of the car about how your baby is all grown up.
Why do they insist on putting the pharmacy in hospitals so far away from literally everything? You swear you've been round this hospital five times and it's not like you've not been following the signs, you have.
You thought you'd finally found it. There seemed to be a gaggle of people huddled around and you presumed they were waiting for meds but instead you stumbled on the cafeteria.
It is lunch time. And you have walked thirty four miles in search of the pharmacy so you don't suppose it'd hurt to get something to eat. You haven't got too long until you'll need to pick Ari up from school. You and Mingyu had said you'd go mainly because you've both been checking your phones every ten minutes in case she'd fallen to the ground in a fit of tears declaring she needed her mommy. But she hadn't, it was you that felt like you needed your mom.
You settle on just grabbing a drink from the fridges. The place is packed and you won't be the person that takes the spot in the queue for food from an overworked doctor because you're bored and in a mood about pharmacies.
Grabbing a soda and closing the door, you're ready to head to pay when you hear a name you know better than most. You don't know the voice speaking it, but you definitely know the name.
You search through the tables, hoping to spot him. You know he said he was busy but surely he wouldn't object to you saying hello, you do raise a child together after all.
Just how many tables are in this fucking cafeteria?! You can't spot him for shit, maybe you were wrong, maybe it wasn't his name. But then you spot him and you feel like throwing your bottle of soda at the man at the table in front of you.
He's smiling, the same smile you love so much, at a woman. Yes, not the most damning of situations to find him in, but he's still laughing. And if anything they're sitting pretty close to each other. Too close in your opinion, they should be at least two metres away from each other to make it decent. It's just those two at the table and they're chatting and laughing and probably falling in love and forgetting you or Ari exist completely.
You’re not sure why you're so pissed off but why hadn't he just said he had a date. They've all been on dates since you've lived there. You have one firm rule. They don't bring anyone into Areum’s life until they know they're serious about them. She doesn't need hundreds of people in her life and it confuses her.
It was a good rule. It worked. Not that you've ever used it, you haven't been on a single date since you had her. But it worked in general for you all as a family but right now? You'd quite like it if the rule was that none of them go out of the house except for work and even then they can't speak to anyone else that isn't you.
Well.
You're not so bothered about the rule for Mingyu and Jeonghan but for Wonwoo? No. He needs to be chained to his desk or something so this woman can't get near him.
You need to get out of here, you can't risk him seeing you, fuck knows what you'd end up saying. It'd either be sobbing that you loved him or you'd aim the soda you've just put back in the fridge at his little girlfriend's head.
You rush back to the car, you'll get your cream the doctor prescribed another time, and slam the door behind you.
Why did you think he'd ever think of you as anything more than Areum’s mom?
Thank fuck you didn't listen to Jeonghan. If you'd have told Wonwoo exactly how you feel and he turned round and said “Cool. Here's my girlfriend." You'd never be able to step foot out of your bedroom again. Ari would need to tell her friends that her mom was like a modern day Mrs Haversham and you'd just get little updates from Jeonghan through the door.
You've no idea what takes over you. But you do something you swore you'd never do. You'd always claimed it was like wading through the depths of hell.
But you do it anyway.
You take out your phone. And you download tinder.
"Does every breakfast need to be so dramatic?” Wonwoo groans, looking at you. But frowns a little when he realises you're not really paying attention to him. He likes your little chats whilst all the chaos unfolds around you both.
"Ari, come here let me do your hair.”
"Woowoo does my hair."
“Just," you sigh, scratching your brow, “come here. He's eating his breakfast,"
“I don't mind……”
"It's fine,” you don’t look at him and just turn Ari around when she comes over so you can do her hair.
"I was thinking we could have burgers for dinner. I got some steak and I want to try the new mincer thing I bought.”
"Yeeees!!!” Mingyu and Ari shout together.
"I can't, I've got plans.”
The three men stop eating their breakfasts and stare at you, the cereal from Mingyu’s spoon falling from his spoon.
"With who?”
"A friend.” You finish plaiting Areum’s hair and pat her bum to send her back to her chair.
"I thought we were your friends.”
“Yeah! What she said!" Jeonghan points at Ari, frowning at you.
“I do have a life, Jeonghan."
“Is it a new friend?" Mingyu asks bluntly.
“I met them on that thing." You mumble, not really wanting to have this conversation in front of Ari.
“What thing?" Wonwoo demands next to you, his face like thunder.
“The thing where people meet new friends."
They all share blank stares as Areum happily eats her cereal, her little legs swinging.
"What?”
"I met someone on tinder.” You say loudly and the silence that follows is palpable.
"What's a tinder?”
"It's, er, well,” shit you didn't want to just blurt that out, this is the first time you're using the dating rule and it's already going wrong, "it's….."
“It's something you use to start a fire."
“Why would mommy be starting fires?"
“I won't be," you glare at Mingyu, why the hell would he mention fires to a four year old?!
“You're going to start a fire with your new friend?"
“I'm just going to dinner with my new friend honey, there's no fire."
“Is she nice?"
“Yeah," Wonwoo glares, Mingyu and Jeonghan lowering themselves slightly in their seats, “is she nice?"
"Seems to be,” you shrug, not being drawn into admitting it's very much a man that you're going to dinner with.
"I think it's nice you have a friend mommy. I made some friends at school and I really like them. I think your friends will make you happy like my friends make me happy.”
"Hopefully,”
"Can I come?”
"Not this time honey, it's a fancy restaurant anyway, you won't like the food,” you tickle her tummy and make her giggle.
"Does that mean you'll get to dress like a princess?”
"I don't know, I haven't decided what to wear yet.”
"I think,” she puts her spoon down and kneels up on her chair so she can lean over to you, her little hands on your cheeks, "you always look like a princess. And," she puts her head close to yours so she can whisper to you, “don't forget that I'm your best friend mommy."
"I won't honey,” you take her little hands and place a kiss on each palm, "c’mon let's get you to school, if we hurry we can leave these three with all this mess.”
"Good plan mommy,” she whispers back and runs off to get her stuff.
"Soooooo,” Jeonghan says once Areum is out of earshot, "you're going on a date?”
"Is that not allowed?”
"I-it is!” Mingyu rushes to add in but throws a tentative glance at Wonwoo, "I just didn't know you were looking for that right now.”
"I haven't been on a date since I had Ari. In fact it was probably like two years before that. And you three all see people, no matter how much you hide it. Or think you do.”
They all frown at each other, Jeonghan rolling his eyes a little because he presumes you're talking about him and whoever you think he's seeing.
"Just, be careful.”
"Do you say that to Wonwoo or Mingyu?!”
"_____,” he groans, "I'm just looking out for you!”
"Well thanks,” you scrape your chair back and stand up to take your daughter to school, "but I'm 30 years old. I can't just watch everyone live their lives. What happens when you all get married and move out? I'll just be on my own!”
"Who said anything about getting married?!” Jeonghan shouts after you but you ignore him.
You're going on this date. Whether they like it or not.
You're an idiot. If you were to look up the word idiot in the dictionary there'd just be a huge fucking picture of you holding a big sign that reads "here's the world’s biggest idiot.”
Why did you think a date would be a good idea? Especially with someone who you've spent a grand total of forty hours talking to. But then when you subtract sleeping, panicking over what to reply and washing weird stains out of Ari's clothes, you'd probably spent closer to about two hours speaking to your date.
And you wish you hadn't.
Seokmin seemed nice enough when you matched with him. He was hot. He had a good job. He was the right age. But he spent the whole night laughing at everything you said.
You're hilarious, or you and Areum think you are anyway, but you literally said "do you want some bread?” And he more or less started rolling around on the floor laughing. You've no idea if it was a nervous habit or whether he was just on really hard drugs that made him think the simplest word was the funniest thing he's ever heard.
Whatever it was, when he dropped you home (around the corner because you didn't want this cackling creep to know where you lived), you vowed to delete tinder off your phone.
On your short walk home, you've prepared yourself for life.
You'll live your life painting, something you already do, but now you're a spinster you'll do it much more dramatically. You'll no longer paint landscapes, which is what you specialise in now. You'll become one of those artists that throws paint at things and then says it shows the bleak end that human civilization is heading for.
And you'll buy a cat. Or a dog. Or maybe a farm.
Jeonghan would probably take Areum, you've proved you can't look after her on your own. Fuck. You need to stop that, you can't start spiralling down that hole again because of this one set back.
Areum can come with you to the farm. You can be that weird mother and daughter that live on the edge of a forest and scare people as they go for hikes. She’d like that.
One thing is for sure, you're done dating. It isn't for you. You'll just have to wait until they've all got married, take the pitying looks from everyone as they see you gradually turn to peak eccentricity and then leave for your farm by the forest.
You take a deep breath before you open the apartment door and then enter the code. Everyone will be in bed, it's pretty late. But it's just knowing that at some point you're going to have to tell them that it was all pointless, that you'd embarrassingly chosen the weirdest man you could to go on a date with.
The apartment is dark other than a lamp they've left on for you and you head straight for the kitchen. You need a glass of wine and you didn't dare drink on your date for fear the laughing idiot made a move you weren't ready for.
The fridge light makes you squint and you grab the wine, wondering whether weird old ladies prefer red or white. It's probably rosé.
The wine glugs as you pour it. And then glugs a bit more as you fill it perilously close to the top.
“Bad night?"
“Fuck!" You spill wine on the kitchen counter, “shit."
“I’ve got it," Wonwoo rushes from his stool and grabs a cloth.
“I didn't know you were there," you shake the wine off your hand and put the bottle back in the fridge.
"Needed a glass of water,”
You just hum and take your glass of wine.
"Night then.”
"Wait,” you stop on your way to your bedroom, "do you not want to talk about it?”
"There's nothing to talk about. It was a date.” You still don't turn to look at him.
"Have I done something to upset you?”
"No.”
"Then why won't you turn around?”
"I'm going to bed.”
"Was he cruel or something?”
"Nope, it was fine."
You hear him sigh but you can't face him. It's fucking embarrassing knowing they're all moving on in life and you're stuck where you are.
“Goodnight," you mumble quietly and rush off to your room.
Wonwoo watches you go. He doesn't understand what's going on or why you've suddenly decided to download tinder. But hopefully, eventually, one of them can figure it out.
It turns out you were wrong. That photo of you in the dictionary with your big sign declaring yourself the world’s biggest idiot is now wrong. You now need a sign that reads “the universe’s biggest idiot” because as you lie on your daughter’s bed, your head pounding and your whole body cringing in horror, you can’t think of a single thing you’ve done that’s made you feel as horrible or as guilty as you do now.
Last night:
“Do you think I need to ring your mom again?
“No,” Jeonghan sighs.
“My mom?”
“_____ seriously she’s only gone for two nights and she’s with all of her grandparents, if anything she won’t even remember we exist.”
“You don’t think she loves us?”
“Why are you always such a whiney drunk?”
“I used to be a horny drunk but look where that got us.”
“I don’t think we’ve done too badly,” Jeonghan smiles as he leans against the kitchen counter with you.
“True,” you knock your beer back and squint into the distance, “do you know any of these people? I swear I only know Wonwoo in that whole crowd.”
“Nope. But Mingyu’s happy and he’s stopped crying because he’s turning thirty so I’ll happily take the loud music and an apartment full of strangers.”
You hum and take another sip of your drink.
“Why didn’t you bring someone?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he smirks at you.
“I haven’t got anyone to bring.” You turn away from him, your eyes drifting to Wonwoo who's trying to leave the little makeshift dance floor before Mingyu makes him dance with him again.
“Me neither.”
“Why do you keep doing that? I know you’re seeing someone, why can’t you just tell me?”
“I’m…..Fuck…..” He looks at the ceiling with worried eyes.
“Do I know her or something?”
“It’s…..It’s not a she.”
If you weren’t four beers in, your brain might not need quite so long to catch up with what he’s just said. But you’ve always been a light weight which means Jeonghan has to wait awkwardly whilst you realise what he’s just said.
“A he?” You turn to him fully, putting your beer down.
“Hm-mm,” He looks down.
“Is he nice to you?”
“What?” He frowns.
“Is he kind?”
“Yes?”
“Good.” You nod, “That’s all that matters.”
“That’s it?”
“Jeonghan, I just want you to be happy. If you’ve realised that happiness is with a man, then that’s great.”
“You’re the first one I’ve told. I’ve wanted to tell you for weeks.” He says like he’s had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I knew you were up to something,” You narrow your eyes at him and poke his chest, “I love you Jeonghan.”
He pulls you in for a hug mumbling an “I love you too” with a roll of his eyes. It’s clear he’s been worrying about telling you, or even anyone, about who he was seeing but why, you don’t know.
“Thank you _____,”
“What for?” You ask into his shoulder.
“Everything. I’ve got the most beautiful little girl and an amazing life. Just. Thank you. For trusting me all those years ago.”
“And I’m the whiney drunk?” You pull back to look at him.
“I guess we both lost our drunk horniness.” He chuckles as you both lean back against the counter with your drinks.
You wait what you hope is an acceptable amount of time before you ask what you really want to know.
“Is he hot?”
“So fucking hot.” He high fives you.
“SHOTS. COME ON YOU TWO!”
“Do we have to?”
“He isn’t going to leave us alone if we don’t.” Jeonghan grumbles and drags you over to the party.
----------------
You’ve had far too much to drink. Everyone has had far too much to drink. Some idiot decided that playing spin the bottle was a great idea and when you, Jeonghan and Wonwoo said absolutely not, you’re not seventeen years old, you got forced into the circle anyway.
The bottle missed you every time thankfully but when it was your turn to spin the bottle of dread, it landed on the one person you didn’t want. Because of course it did.
The bottle landed on Wonwoo and even through your drunken haze you could see he wasn’t impressed. Handily. Right at the second you’d tried to make your way over to him, he got a phone call from the hospital he couldn’t miss.
Because what’s more embarrassing than playing spin the bottle at thirty years old? Playing spin the bottle at thirty years old and the recipient of your impending kiss literally running away from you.
The game finishes and you’re more than a little drunk and you’re more than a little pissed off.
You’re going to find that gorgeous ass hole of man and you’re going to defend your own honour.
You march around the apartment until you finally find him, trying to sort the trash out.
“Wonw-woo,” you stammer, swaying towards him.
“Hey! I wondered where you’d got to!” He smiles.
You want to punch him. How dare he smile at you like he smiled at that woman.
“I’m not the one who ran off!”
“What do you mmmpf,”
He doesn’t have a chance to answer you. You throw yourself at him, your lips smacking into his more like you’re attacking him than kissing him. If you were sober you’d see his wide eyes and arms flailing around so he doesn’t fall. But you don’t because you’re more interested in kissing him with so much force that his lips will be too sore to show that smile you love so much to anyone else other than you. Your hands hold his cheeks as you lose yourself for what feels like an hour but is probably more like a few seconds and then finally release him.
“What the…….”
“I’m gonna be sick,” You manage to get out before you run off to the bathroom.
So that’s how you find yourself here. The day after Mingyu’s thirtieth birthday party, on your daughter’s bed and avoiding the world outside of these four walls. You’ve no idea why you’d decided to spend the day in her room. You woke up, had a shower and then the flashbacks started and you felt yourself folding in on yourself. You weren’t just embarrassed, you were fucking mortified.
It’s probably because her room is literally like being in the clouds. You’d spent weeks painting clouds on the walls and ceiling when she was ready for her own room.
It was relaxing to some extent and it felt like she was near to you, cuddling by your side and telling you about her day. Instead of it just being you in your cave of embarrassment.
The door creaks open and all you can think is that you hope it’s not Wonwoo.
It’s obvious why he didn’t want to kiss anyone. It’s obvious why he pretended he had a phone call. Maybe not obvious to everyone who doesn’t know he’s seeing someone but you did. And in your stupid drunken state you kissed him anyway and you feel fucking terrible. You know he would never be the kind to cheat, he must be feeling fucking awful. He probably hates you and he’d have every reason to.
Such a stupid, selfish thing to do to a man who has only ever shown you and Areum kindness and warmth.
“Hey,” Jeonghan’s head pokes through the door with Mingyu’s head just above it, “can we come in?”
“Sure.” You keep staring at the ceiling with your head on your daughter’s pillow. “Do you have to do that!”
“What?! How else do you want me to lie down?” Mingyu glares down at you as he clambers over you so he’s between you and the wall.
Is nothing sacred? Now you’ve got Mingyu on one side and Jeonghan on the other, all three of you staring at the ceiling on Areum’s single bed.
“This bed isn’t built for three. You're barely on it."
“Well if you’d mope in your own room, we’d have more space wouldn’t we.” Jeonghan scolds you.
“What’s going on?" Mingyu asks softly.
“Nothing."
“_____, please. You've been weird for days. Please just talk to us." Jeonghan reaches for your hand, Mingyu taking your other.
“I'm," you sigh, “I'm scared."
“Of what?"
“Life?"
“Should I call the doctor or something?" Jeonghan rushes to sit up but you make him lie back down.
“It's not that." You think about how to phrase it. “You're all moving on."
“I've been dating for a month or so!"
“And Hyeji is already on a plane home! I actually think we work better in other countries."
“I don't mean like that. I just mean, you're all dating, you're open to dating. And I'm scared of the future. Last time I was on my own with Ari I couldn't be what she needed.”
"You're a great mom!” Mingyu interrupts.
"I am now,”
"You were then.” Jeonghan says bluntly, squeezing your hand.
"I'm just……I'm scared to be on my own when you've all moved on. I'm not saying you won't be there for her,"
“We'll be there for you too. And you can date! You can do whatever you want to!"
“I don't want to. Well I do……what I want isn’t important. I can't have what I want."
They both stay silent. They know what you want. They know who you want.
"I feel like life's moving on and leaving me behind and I don't want to be the reason you all hold yourselves back. I don't want to be the person I was when I left Areum at your door but I don't want you to not be able to move on because I left her at your door."
“Fuck that's a lot of feelings all at once _____." Mingyu mumbles.
“Do you want to know something?"
“Go on," you and Mingyu turn your heads to Jeonghan, him still looking at the ceiling.
“I worried you'd all move on without me. I was having all these feelings about who I was attracted to……"
“He's told me about his hot piece of ass," Mingyu whispers in your ear.
“And I didn't think I'd ever come to terms with being bi."
You squeeze his hand, knowing that's the first time he's probably said that out loud.
“But before that I'd already decided, you all wouldn't get rid of me."
“What do you mean?"
“My parents are building a new luxury complex. And the top floor has three apartments, even bigger than this one. We'll have one each." He says matter of factly.
“And you've just decided that?"
“I mean you can all do what you want but it's there."
“You planned it out? For us?"
“I like our little family. I think it's good for Areum."
“I couldn't face having to tell her that she couldn't see any of you anymore, she has three dads. She proudly tells people she has her daddy, her Wooowoo daddy and Gyugyu daddy. I couldn't bear her not seeing any of you, that's what I've been worrying about. That and how I’d cope."
“Wait, we're not moving yet are we?"
"They're still trying to get planning permits. It'll be a couple of years yet.”
"A couple of years of more of this sounds good.” Mingyu snuggles his head onto your shoulder and you do the same to Jeonghan.
A gentle silence falls, some of the worries eased about what would happen as you all kept growing. And knowing you'd be able to meet people or date or marry or just do whatever you wanted but still near each other, helps more than Jeonghan probably realises.
“Did something happen at the party?" Jeonghan asks softly.
“I think I upset Wonwoo. I think I made him do something that'll hurt someone."
“Who?"
“When I was at the hospital I saw him with the woman he's seeing. I don't know why he didn't just tell us he was seeing someone."
“He is? I don't think he….”
“Yeah. And I've done something that’ll hurt both of them."
"He'll understand, whatever it is.”
"I doubt it.”
"Go see him,” Jeonghan replies.
"He's not here is he?”
"Go see him at work. If it's making you feel this bad, go and say you're sorry. At least then when he gets home from work and Ari comes back from being with her grandparents, there'll be no awkwardness."
“When did you become so good with these things, Kim Mingyu?”
"I finally fucked my girlfriend in real life. It changes a man.”
"Oh my god is that what that noise was?! I thought there was a cat being strangled somewhere!”
You laugh but smack Jeonghan on the chest for being mean, though even Mingyu snorts. He was pretty fucking loud, taking full advantage of there being no Areum around.
"Jeonghan?”
"Yeah?”
"These apartments, do I……”
"Yes you have to pay rent Mingyu.”
The three of you giggle and keep staring at the painted clouds on the ceiling but you know what you've got to do. Just two more minutes of peaceful bliss and you'll do it. You'll man up and take responsibility for your actions.
If only it was as hard to find cardiology as it was to find the pharmacy. Once Mingyu and Jeonghan had told you it'd all be fine for the four thousandth time, you got in the car and seemed to arrive at the hospital way quicker than you thought was possible.
Will he be even more pissed at you because you're disturbing him at work? Will he have already told his girlfriend what happened? Fuck if she's also working today she'll probably have security throw you out of the hospital.
“Can I help you?"
“Oh!" You spin round to find a woman in scrubs sitting at a desk in the centre of the department.
“You look a little lost." She says kindly.
“I'm looking for Won…I-I mean Dr Jeon?"
“Are you a patient? I think he's in surgery at the moment. I could…..”
"_____?”
"Wonwoo?” You look up to find him walking out of some double doors that lead to the operating theatres, pulling his scrub cap off and looking confused.
Fuck. She's with him. She doesn't look pissed, so maybe he hasn't told her yet. Maybe you should? It might sound better coming from another woman? You could explain everything you're feeling and she might not be as pissed. But that's fucking selfish, to expect her to just understand that you've kissed her boyfriend.
“Is Ari ok? What's wrong?" He rushes over to you, all of his colleagues trying to not look interested in who this woman is that clearly knows the hot heart surgeon.
"She's fine. I just needed to talk to you,”
He gestures for you to move a little further away from where his colleagues have congregated.
"Why? What's wrong?"
What's wrong?! He can't be serious.
“Do you think she'd talk to me?"
“Who?"
“Your girlfriend," you mutter under your breath, looking over at the woman who doesn't seem bothered that you're talking to him.
So she must not know then.
"_____ what are you talking about?” He's looking more and more concerned, he must've been stressed all day about it.
"I know she'll have every right to hate me and I know you probably hate me. Fuck I shouldn't have done it, I'll tell her it was all me. I was just upset, I swear I never meant to cause any trouble,”
"What? Wait. Er Dr Kim,” he gets the attention of another doctor by the desk, "I just need to sort something out, could you do the post op checks and then we'll run through what you'll need to do tomorrow when I'm off.”
"No problem boss!”
"Come with me.” He mumbles, making you follow him down a corridor.
Surely he's not not going to tell her what happened. That's not Wonwoo.
He opens a door and gestures for you to walk into what appears to be an on call room and your stomach drops. This is where he tells you he hates you and he wants you to leave the apartment, he'll probably say you're a bad influence on Ari and you shouldn't be around her either.
"Right.” He closes the door. "What are you talking about?”
"I've been worrying all day and I swear I didn't mean to cause you any problems! I was just sad you obviously didn't want to kiss me during spin the bottle but my drunk brain didn't comprehend that of course you didn't want to kiss me. You've got a girlfriend that you're clearly more than happy with. And I suppose I should apologise for telling Mingyu and Jeonghan about her, you were obviously trying to keep it private but I saw you when I came for my appointment, I wasn't spying on you," you rush to say, “I just stopped for a drink when I was looking for the pharmacy and saw you. I left straight away, I promise."
“Why didn't you come over if you saw me while you were here?"
“You said you had plans, I didn't want to interrupt your date."
He blinks at you.
“Is this why you've been weird with me? Because of what you saw."
Curse him for being so clever. Though it doesn't take a doctor to figure out why you crashed out so much.
“Fuck I may as well just be honest." You sigh, “I saw you and it was like everything flashed before me, you all moving on now you're all seeing someone and me just stuck where I am now. Or worse back where I was before I moved in with you all. I got back in the car and downloaded that fucking app and ended up on a date with an absolute weirdo. I actually blame Jeonghan more than anything, he was going on about telling you and what would that have even achieved!"
“I thought you did tell me? You said you had an appointment and asked me for lunch,"
“R-right," you still need to cover up what Jeonghan actually meant, “exactly you said you were busy. You had a date."
“So why just be weird with me? You've been fine with Mingyu and Jeonghan."
You stare at him. How the hell do you get around that?
“Fuuuuckk," you groan with your head in your hands as you take a deep breath. “I like you. I've liked you since about six months after I moved in. I've sat in my bed and cried every time you've been on a date over the years. And last night I took it too far, I saw you clearly fake a call to get out of kissing me during that stupid fucking game and I saw red. I just wanted…. I don't even know what I wanted." You pause, “I wanted you. But you're not mine and now I owe you and her a massive apology. My head's been all over the place and that's no excuse and I've probably ruined your relationship and…."
“_____,"
“....you probably hate me and….”
"_____,”
".....you probably don't even want me near you, I'll move……”
"_____!!!”
You jump when he shouts at you.
“Take a deep breath. Please."
Why is he being nice to you? He should be telling you to fuck off. But you follow his breathing when he takes a deep breath and you feel a little less anxious.
“Thank you," you breathe again, “but you shouldn't be being nice, you should….."
“Will you please shut the fuck up!"
You slam your mouth shut, looking like a deer caught in headlights.
"That woman,”
"I'll apologise to her! I promise!”
"_____.” He grabs your cheeks, "Please. Stop talking. Just shut. Up. And listen to me.”
You nod dumbly, his hands still on your cheeks.
"I don't have a girlfriend. And I haven't been on a date in fucking ages, in fact I think I've had five since you've been fully in our lives and they've all been shit.”
"Then who….."
“Shut up," he whispers, smirking at you like he knows it's physically hurting you to shut your damn mouth, “the woman you saw me with is a student who's been with us for two weeks to learn about a new technique we're trying out. What you saw was an interview for her research paper."
He must see the relief in your eyes because his smirk turns into a small smile.
“I wouldn't go on a date with anyone because I like someone else."
Well fuck. You're certain he must've been able to hear your heart break. Whoever works in the well hidden pharmacy probably heard it.
“Do you want me to tell you about her?"
No. You don't want to hear about her. Why would you want to hear about her?!
And besides. He's told you not to speak and so now he can deal with the consequences of those words.
"You can speak.” He rolls his eyes.
Oh fuck.
"I don't really want to hear it,”
"No?” He steps even closer to you, his hands still holding your cheeks, his thumbs brushing your skin a little.
You shake your head.
"I'll tell you anyway. She's a similar height to you." He smiles softly, “she actually has the same hair colour as you. And really similar eyes. She's funny and kind and so fucking hot."
You hate her.
“And she makes me excited to get out of bed each morning."
Fucking bitch.
“She’s the most talented artist I've ever met."
She's probably a sculptor. They're all hot. Fucking assholes.
"She’s actually really good friends with Mingyu. And she knows Jeonghan better than anyone. And she has the most beautiful daughter, who loves to read murder mysteries and does makeovers on me every Friday night. I'm still actually getting the glitter off me from the last one.”
Well if he wanted all that he could've just….wait. You frown at him.
“Are you saying?"
“I literally couldn't make it more obvious _____," he smiles at you, his thumbs still brushing your cheeks.
"So you're not in love with that woman?!”
"No, I'm in love with someone else.”
"Me?” You point at yourself.
"Yes _____, you.” He chuckles. "Surely Jeonghan and Mingyu told you that me dating someone would be bullshit? They've been telling me to tell you for months. If not years."
“They probably tried," you admit, you did think Mingyu wanted to say something when you were telling them.
"Why didn't you just tell me? Instead of downloading fucking tinder and making me want to strangle whoever you'd been on a date with.”
"Is that why you were in the kitchen?”
"I'd been there two hours.”
"That's a pretty big glass of water.”
"Hm,” he hums, pulling you against him, his arms around your waist, "almost as big as your glass of wine. I would’ve made a bigger deal out of you ignoring me but a massive part of me was just pleased it had clearly gone badly."
“Well thanks!" You scoff.
"You still should've told me.”
"I didn't want to ruin things when you said you didn't feel the same, I couldn't bear it if it affected your relationship with Ari or it ruined our little family. And,” you think about it, "you could've told me y’know!”
"I just have.”
"After several breakdowns on my part.”
"Well I didn't know why you were being weird!”
"At least Jeonghan isn't wasting his time with the apartment complex now I know you don't hate me. Wait.”
"What?” He mumbles, watching you thinking about something.
"He said there were three apartments.”
"Who did?”
"Jeonghan.”
"Can you rewind a bit. What apartments and what complex?”
"Jeonghan’s parents are building a new apartment complex. He said earlier when we were in bed,”
"When you were what?!”
"I was spiralling in Ari’s room and then they joined me and we just sort of lay there and figured life out.”
"I've always wondered what you three do when I'm at actual work.”
"Hey we work! Well. I do. Well I paint. And Mingyu does whatever he does. And I don't really know…..what would we class Jeonghan as? Our house husband?”
"I don't know,” he laughs, putting a stray piece of hair behind your ear and making you shiver a little. "Tell me about how you figured life out in the space of a day please.”
"Oh yeah. Well his parents are building a whole new luxury apartment complex and he's reserved the whole top floor for us. Obviously we'd pay rent,"
“I bet Mingyu was thrilled with that,"
“Oh he's probably still pouting," you dismiss, “but he said there's three apartments. And I didn't think anything of it when he said it but he knew? Not that I'm saying we’re going to live together…”
"We do live together,”
"Oh yeah,” you grin, "but yeah, so he said three. That man is so sneaky.”
“Wait so we're moving?"
“Oh they're not built yet, it'll be a couple of years.”
“I could do a couple more years of this," He holds you closer.
“That's what we said." You smile and finally wrap your arms around him too.
You gaze at him and it feels very like he's about to finally kiss you, his eyes keep flitting down to your lips but that reminds you of something.
“Hold on. If you like me,"
“Love you." He corrects.
“Love me,” you roll your eyes, "I love you too by the way. But if you love me, why did you run away and pretend to have a phone call during spin the bottle?”
"Because, and call me old fashioned, but I'd have quite liked the woman I've been in love with for years to be sober when we had our first kiss. And I didn't want it to be in front of a room full of drunk strangers.”
"Oh.” Your cheeks heat, "I ruined that then.”
"Not really. You just very aggressively kissed my chin last night.”
"Well you could've told me that! I've been worrying about being a homewrecker all day!”
"How could I tell you when I didn't know what you've been thinking!”
You narrow your eyes at him.
"Very clever Dr Jeon.”
"Don't do that.” He mutters.
"What?”
"Call me Dr Jeon."
“Don't people call you that all the time?"
“They do," he holds you a little closer again, “but it sounds different when you say it. Makes me feel like I've got all the power."
“Is that right?" You quirk your brow at him.
“Mm,"
His lips are so close you can feel his breath, fuck it's actually happening.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
"Fuck,” he pulls his phone from his pocket and checks it, "I've got to go, the shifts ending and I need to do hand over. I'll be like twenty minutes? I'm off work tomorrow so I need to do handover to the night team and my team who’re in tomorrow.”
"It's fine,” you smile, but he's still holding you.
"Did you drive here?”
"Yeah,”
"I didn't. I got a cab. I know I only had two drinks but I didn't want to take the risk and it was so early when I left for work. Wait for me? And we’ll go home together?”
"Sounds good.”
"I really want to kiss you,” he glances at your lips again, "but if I start I won't want to stop.”
"Then go, the sooner you're done, the sooner we can go. It works quite well actually, I need to find the pharmacy.”
“Still?"
“Well I was trying to not cry when I left the other day."
"It's near the entrance.”
"What?! I walked around this damn hospital hundreds of times the other day!”
“They’re probably closed now," he checks his watch.
“How can a hospital pharmacy close? Do people not need things all the time?"
“They do," he strokes your cheek again, “but it's separate for inpatients. What is it you need?"
“Oh," you search your pockets, these are the same jeans from the other day you threw on, “a-ha! This," you hand it to him.
“Er," he checks the prescription, “I'll get one of the nurses to get it. He owes me a favour for covering for him doing something completely unsanitary in here last week."
You grimace at the dingy bed in the corner. The horrors that bed must've seen.
“I'll wait in the car then.” You kiss his cheek and try not to smile at how it flusters him.
"Ok.”
But he doesn't move, he just gazes at you, his fingers drawing patterns on your back.
“Go," you shew him off you, “go be an important doctor and I'll be waiting in the car."
“Promise?" He opens the door and you follow him out.
“I promise." You kiss his other cheek but this time he's ready for you and he kisses you back on your cheek straight away.
“Bye then," he whispers, kissing the other.
“Bye." You grin and turn to head out, turning left off the corridor.
“_____? Other way!"
He smiles as you reappear sheepishly.
“I'll be in the car,” you point and head in the right direction.
"I'll be as quick as I can!” He shouts after you and heads back to work.
You more or less skip to the car, a smile plastered on your face and your stomach full of butterflies.
You intend to do two things when you get home. One, kiss Wonwoo until your lips are chapped. And two, kill Mingyu and Jeonghan for clearly knowing a lot more than they were letting on.
"Where are you two going?”
"Hello!” Jeonghan replies looking like him and Mingyu have been caught doing something they absolutely shouldn’t be doing.
"Fancy seeing you here!"
“Mingyu. We live here. Where are you going?" You refuse to move out of the way of the elevator, Wonwoo looking pretty sheepish too at the side of you.
"We've decided we can't go on without seeing our daughter. So we're going to see her.”
"You're driving two hundred miles to the coast to see Areum when she'll be home tomorrow afternoon?”
"Y-yes.” They look at each other.
"You told me I was being ridiculous last night when I said we needed to keep checking on her.”
"Oh y’know, things change.” Jeonghan shrugs.
"Jeonghan.” You step closer to him, narrowing your eyes, "You're willingly travelling all that way, to arrive really late at night when Areum will already be asleep to spend a few hours with her and your parents and my parents,”
"Wonwoo’s are there too! Mine couldn't go because they……" Mingyu's words trail off when you all glare at him.
"What's the point?”
He glances at Wonwoo who's still looking more than a little awkward.
"Oh I can't lie to her Wonwoo, she knows all my tells,” he gives up. "He rang, told us to fuck off for the night.” He points at Wonwoo. "We're going to stay at my parents’ while they're not there.”
"When did you do that?” You frown at Wonwoo.
"As I was walking to your car. I just thought we needed some space before Ari comes back,”
"Space.” Mingyu snickers.
"Yes Mingyu space. It's been a bit of a mad day." Wonwoo's stern look stops Mingyu's smugness.
“We'll be going then," Jeonghan barges past you, dragging Mingyu along with him.
“Don't have too much fun." Mingyu wiggles his eyebrows at you.
“Idiot." You say under your breath, you and Wonwoo looking at them in the elevator.
The doors start to close.
“_____!" Jeonghan says quickly before the door closes, “don't forget to use protection!" You hear them both fall about laughing as they disappear completely.
Silence. Clearly Wonwoo was hoping they'd already be gone before you got home.
“I'm sorry," he groans, scratching his neck, “I just thought we needed to talk or just spend some time together? Without having to be quiet or having those two just listening to everything we say."
“Wonwoo," you sigh, “I'm not annoyed or anything. It's just we've only just confessed and I don't want all our parents asking questions, because I know those two won't be able to keep their mouths shut, and confusing Ari."
“I've already told them all. Check the group chat. I'm sorry I couldn't keep it in, I've just waited so long and I thought it's one less thing for you to worry about."
Your eyebrows knit together as you pull your phone out.
Wonwoo: Just so we're all on the same page. Me and _____ are in a relationship. I'll be taking no questions and please don't tell Areum yet. Enjoy your break, see you when you're back.
Well. Putting that in the group chat you have with all your parents and Mingyu and Jeonghan is certainly one way to tell them all.
“Very efficient." You chuckle. “Wait. Your mom says it's about time? Mine says it's only taken us four years? Even Jeonghan's mom is saying she knew. My dad owes Mingyu's dad money, they had a bet?! They all knew?!"
“It appears the only two that didn't know, is us." He smiles.
"Typical.” You scoff.
"You're not annoyed with me for telling them to fuck off?”
"A whole night without the troublesome twosome? I'm ecstatic.”
“Did you eat yet?"
“No. But that's why you sent them away? To eat?" You smirk, stepping closer to him.
“Don't start something you can't finish _____."
“Who says I can't finish it?"
“You weren’t lying,” you smile as Wonwoo grabs your t-shirt and pulls your lips back to his.
The second you uttered those fated words near the elevator, his lips were on yours and you’d barely detached yourselves from each other to breathe let alone check where you were going. Your bedroom is on the third floor of the penthouse and you’re certain both of you will have shins covered in bruises from how many times you bumped into shit on your way up here. Yes, you could've just stopped kissing. But that’s not an option. Not now you know how fucking good he is at it.
“Wait what? You think I’m lying about loving you?”
“No,” you giggle, kissing his lips one more time, “I meant you weren’t lying about not being able to stop once you’ve started.”
He just rolls his eyes and drags you back to his perfect lips, backing you towards your bed but he bangs into your bedside table as he does it.
“For fucks sake!” he switches your lamp on, ready to give you a stern talking to for laughing at him but he spots something that causes him to do a double take.
“No!!” You launch forward but it’s too late, he’s already grabbed it.
“What’s this?” He murmurs, inspecting what’s in his hand.
“What does it look like?” You mumble, trying to grab it, “give it to me Wonwoo.”
“Do you always just leave your dildos about the place?”
“I don’t have dildos, I have a dildo.”
“So if I open this draw I won’t find like ten more sex toys?” he raises his brow at you.
“No,” you fold your arms, “I mean sure there’s a clit sucker thing but what do you want me to do?! It’s not illegal! It’s not……”
He fists your t-shirt and pulls you flush against him.
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” He smirks as he grips your chin and moves your head to the side, “just thinking of all the things we could do. May as well make you well and truly mine whilst I can, once everyone is back it’ll be sneaking around and trying to be quiet. Something you’re famously not good at.” He hisses in your ear.
“Are you saying I talk too much?”
“Oh baby you never shut the fuck up.” He smiles wickedly. “I do have some ideas of how to make you shut up though. Would you be interested in hearing them?”
You clench your thighs together. You always got the feeling that he was like this in the bedroom. You’d never heard him, he’d never brought anyone home at all. But he’s just too sweet and caring in everyday life to not be a fucking freak in the bedroom.
“I might be.” You try to say like you’re not ready to let him do whatever the fuck he wants.
“Is this all ok?”
He makes sure you look at him properly, his kind eyes showing you he doesn’t want to do anything you’re not ready for or comfortable with.
“Yeah,” You smile, kissing him again, “I’ve thought about this for so long. Do whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?”
You pause.
“No anal. At least not now.” You think about it for a minute, “Or slapping. And I haven’t got any condoms but I am on birth control so if you’re clean, I’m fine with going raw.”
“Really? I thought you…….”
“You thought I’d be scared of getting pregnant? I got pregnant because we were both fucking idiots. I’m not going to do that again. Not yet anyway.”
His face softens when he realises that you’re implying you want everything you can with him. Just not right now.
“I really do love you y’know.” He smiles, kissing your forehead. “But,” he stands back from you. “Kneel down.”
“What?”
“Did I stutter? Kneel down.”
“Should I?” You look down at your clothes.
“Keep them on, until I’ve moulded your throat to the shape of my dick at least.”
“Fuck.” You fall to your knees in wonder, Wonwoo trying not to smile at how quickly you’ve submitted to him.
He places the dildo down on the bed side table, the glint of something wicked in his eyes and slowly undresses in front of you.
Your eyes follow every moment, every inch of skin being uncovered that you've craved to touch for so long. He's big, he always has been but recently he seems to have grown even bigger, even stronger. You've always got the impression that if you were wrapped in his arms, nothing bad in the world or in your head could get you.
His boxers are the last to go and the second they're off his dick slaps against his abdomen.
Well it turns out all of him is big then. Fuck he's going to ruin you and you're going to enjoy every last second of it.
He crouches down, tucking his finger under your chin and makes you look at him.
“For someone who talks so much you've really hurt me these past few days _____. Ignoring me, making me feel like I've done something wrong," he sighs. “I think… I think I need some reassurance. That'll you treat me well, that you'll use your pretty little mouth properly in the future. Do you want to show me, baby? Show me just how well your mouth works?"
You frown in confusion before he reaches just a little behind where you're kneeling and brings the dildo back into view.
“Show me."
Jesus.
He's still crouching down to you, completely naked and dick rock hard whilst you're kneeling on the floor fully clothed and clearly nothing more than a source of entertainment to him.
He brings the silicone tip closer to you and every part of you melts for the man in front of you. Fully ready to give him whatever he wants.
Making sure you look him in the eye, yours burning into his, you let a little spit drip from your mouth. Just enough to wet the tip as it slowly falls from your mouth. His eyes falter a little like he didn't think you'd match his freak quite as much.
But that's where he's wrong.
You've spent night after night thinking of the most obscene fantasies your brain could conjure.
You let your tongue trace around where the hole would be, flicking it a little showing him exactly how good you'll be for him.
Your lips wrap around the tip, imagining it's his and your eyes finally leave his to look at his dick. Your eyebrows knit together, a look of concentration on your face as you focus on how he's already dribbling a little precum. You start to bob your head as he holds it for you, his eyes transfixed by the way you're sucking the dildo but clearly imagining it's him.
You hum around it, desperate to show him just how much you want him, weirdly even wanting to make him proud of the way you're performing for him.
“You're doing so well," he murmurs, his free hand coming to hold your cheek as you keep bobbing on the dildo.
He kneels on the floor in front of you but sitting up on his knees so he's taller than you, giving you an even better view of him and making you moan around the dildo.
“Awww baby, are you desperate?"
You nod as best you can, hoping this means he'll let you near him.
“Yeah?" His smile turns wicked, “prove it for me."
And he shoves the dildo further into your mouth making you gag on it. Fuck this is more than you could’ve imagined and he's not even touched you. You're not even undressed and you feel like he's wrecked you.
Wonwoo starts fucking the dildo in and out of your mouth, a smirk on his face as he watches you gag around it, the tears and drool only making the sight even prettier for him. And yet his thumb strokes your cheek like it did when he was telling you he loved you earlier, nothing but gentleness in the loving touch.
"Good girl _____, you're doing so well. You look so pretty like this, so needy for me,"
You move your head even quicker, desperately sucking the dildo, him meeting your movements and making your gag occasionally.
“I'm so sorry _____. If I'd have known you were up here, fucking yourself with this," he shoves it down your throat and your eyes roll back as you choke, "I'd have done something sooner, ruined you so much sooner."
His gentle voice mixed with him fucking your throat with the dildo has you in a space you've never been in before but fuck you love it.
It's when he spots you wiggling a little bit, desperately trying to relieve some of the tension between your legs, that he realises just how much he needs to feel you. You've put on a pretty little show for him but he’s dreamt about your lips wrapped around him for so long and you're clearly so ready for him.
His hand that was on your cheek moves to your hair. He isn't overly harsh with it, he doesn't want to hurt you, but he gets your hair in a half assed ponytail as he stands up. Wonwoo yanks you off the dildo, your lips swollen and chin wet and he was going to check in with you but you lunge forward and he doesn't stop you. He's not even sure if he could.
You don't even ease him into it, just adjust your mouth because he's bigger than your dildo and go to town. Your tongue runs flat along the bottom of him whilst you bob your head frantically, your hands on his thighs steadying you because of how desperately you're fucking your face onto his dick.
“Fucking hell," he throws his head back, “I told you to show me on your fucking dildo," he groans, his hips twitching when you swirl your tongue around his tip and go back to your bobbing, “you didn't show me shit. Fuck why are you so good at that?"
Oh he's not seen anything yet, of course you weren't going to really go to town on a fucking dildo.
You bob a little more, your cheeks hollowed and lips tight around him. Just a couple more bobs and then you fully take him in your mouth. Well your throat. And then swallow around him.
The whine Wonwoo lets out above you should've been recorded. Then you could listen to it on nights when he's at work and you need him. Because just that one whine could get you off again and again.
"Right. No. Get off,” he tries to move you back but you send a glare his way and flick his tip defiantly.
"_____,” he warns, "Get. Off.”
You roll your eyes and take his dick out of your mouth.
"What?!”
He pauses for a second, something clicking in his mind and he finally realises this is actually happening. You're actually kneeling in front of him, you drool on your t-shirt and cheeks damp from your tears.
“I'm not about to cum in your mouth for our first time having sex."
“Then cum wherever you want," you say like it's obvious, “but why have you stopped me? Come back here,” you try to crawl forward.
"No.” He crouches down in front of you again, a weirdly proud smile on his lips. "Get on the bed.”
You clamber up, not really caring how needy you look. You are needy for him. Just the same way he is for you.
“Wait," you huff as you flop down on your bed, leaning on your elbows as he watches you fondly, “should I take these off?" You gesture to your clothes.
“I'll do it," he shrugs, crawling up the bed to you, looking like an overly hot predator.
"Oh I could get used to this.” You lie back.
"Good.” He hovers over you, his thumb wiping your lip, "I'm gonna treat you so well _____. We've spent so long avoiding what was clearly so obvious, if you said you wanted the moon I'd try to find a way to get it for you.”
You smile up at him, the man who you're fairly certain is the love of your life and realise you've never been happier.
His lips linger on yours one last time before they move slowly down your neck, feather light kisses heating every patch of skin they touch.
One of his hands rests by your head, the other stroking your waist as his lips travel over your cloth covered breasts, mumbling into your t-shirt the occasional “so pretty" and “I'm so lucky."
His hand that was on your waist moves to shimmy under your t-shirt and he must feel you tense up.
You hadn't even been worrying about it. It simply never occurred to you. It didn't need to occur to you.
"What's wrong?” He asks straight away, a flash of worry on his handsome features, his hand paused.
"I haven't been,” you swallow, a whole new bunch of worries now fogging your brain, "I haven't been naked in front of anyone since I had Areum. I didn't even realise I was worried about it until you moved your hand.”
"No one?”
"Do you think I've been sneaking men up here?”
"No,” he smiles, "I just wasn't sure….."
"The last time was when I got pregnant with Areum."
“I swear it doesn't bother me," he rushes to say, “I know you and Jeonghan were nothing serious. I just wasn't sure." He shrugs, stroking your hair now he's moved his hand.
"I'm used to my body. And I don't hate my body. It just hit me that it looks different from the last time someone else saw me naked.”
"I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met,” he smiles when you fluster a little, "but if you want to wait and stop, we can do.”
"I don't want to stop.” You say much too quickly and make him laugh.
"Then tell me how you want this to go baby.”
"I've told you, whatever you want.” You move his hair off his forehead, "I just got in my own head for a second. I'm good now.”
"You're sure?”
"So sure." You peck his lips.
He looks at you for a couple more seconds, just to double check and then goes back to his little kisses all over your breasts through your t-shirt. His hand moves slowly back under it so his finger tips can wander over your stomach and along your waist.
Wonwoo glances up at you one last time and then lifts your t-shirt. You sit up so he can take it off easier and before you can even lay back down properly he kisses you again so you don't have any chance to feel self conscious. His tongue is messy as it explores your mouth and your fingers bury in his hair to hold him closer to you, losing yourself in the taste of him.
His hand slips under your back, his tongue still dancing with yours, and unclasps your bra. Huh, turns out he is really good with his hands. Your bra is thrown on the floor with your t-shirt and his lips go travelling again.
You watch as his eyes take you in every time his lips travel lower down your body. Teasing kisses are dotted over your tits and on your nipples, making you squirm when you think he's going to take one into his mouth. But he doesn't, he just shows you with his lips how much he loves you.
He kisses down your stomach and stops when his lips meet your jeans.
“You're perfect _____." His eyes run all over your body, marvelling at you beneath him. “I'm so lucky."
He kneels between your legs and you prop yourself on your elbows.
“Can I?" He plays with the button on your jeans.
You don't answer with words, just lift your ass up so he can take them off.
“Fuck." He stares down when he's thrown your jeans on the floor and spots just how wrecked your panties are.
“What?"
“You're fucking dripping."
His fingers trace over your pantie clad pussy making you shiver. The touch is hardly there and yet drives you crazy.
“So wet," he says in wonder, “and it's all mine isn't it ____? It's all for me?" He pulls the drenched cloth away from your aching pussy with his finger and lets them snap back, the sting making you startle.
“Answer me _____," he presses two fingers onto your soaked mound and if you didn't have your underwear on, they'd be between your folds, exactly where you want them.
“All yours," you nod desperately, “it's just for you."
“Yeah?" He says darkly, “do you get this wet when you're up here using this?" He holds up the dildo.
Where the fuck had he hidden that?!
"I bet you're fucking dripping aren't you?” He presses the tip to you, "fucking yourself with this night after night. What do you think of, baby?”
The pressure of the tip is exactly on your clit, it would just take the tiniest movement and you'd get some sweet relief.
“Who," he presses a tiny bit harder, it doesn't hurt but fuck does it make you twitch from the added friction, “do you think of?"
“You." You whisper. “Always you. Only you."
“What a waste of fucking time." He turns the dildo so it presses harder onto your clit and you throw your head back in pleasure. “I could've been wrecking this pretty pussy every night."
“Wonwoo, please just do something!"
You're all for foreplay. You're all for teasing. But you've not had sex in five fucking years, surely he could show you some reprieve.
"What's the rush? We've got all night.” He muses as he runs the dildo along your soaked underwear.
"Wonwoo.” You give him a stern look, "I haven't had sex in fucking years. If you don't do something soon I might actually burst into tears. Just fuck me!” You whine.
"I have always dreamt of you crying my name.”
You look at him in horror. What a fucking tease.
"Give me my dildo.” You demand and hold your hand out.
"No.” He looks at your hand in disgust.
Right then. You're not above making him do something.
"What are you doing?” He mumbles as you flail around, him not moving from between your legs making it difficult as you wrestle your panties off.
"Look,” you lie back, two fingers running through your drenched folds, trying to not moan at the feeling, and hold them up to him, "do something. Or I'll finish myself off.”
He hasn't heard a single word you've just said to him. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw your pussy and he nearly fainted when you ran your fucking fingers through it. You're moaning at him because you've not had sex in five years. He hasn't had sex since you moved in here. You cannot just tempt him like that.
"Hey!” But he ignores you, grabs your hand and shoves your fingers in this mouth, licking and sucking your essence, his eyes closing in delight at the taste.
Something takes over him and before you know it your knees are bent and near your chest and he's holding your ankles, the perfect view of your pussy.
You expected a lot of things, maybe sloppy romance or tentative touches for your first time. You did not expect him to go with fucking mating press after him making you choke on your own dildo. Not that you're complaining. You once had a dream where you were literally sitting upside down in his lap whilst he ate you out. Luckily, dream you is clearly an acrobat.
"Is this what you wanted?” He glares at you.
"Yes,” you whisper, eyes on his dick.
"So selfish,” he mutters, "hold your legs.”
You do as he says straight away, your hands holding the backs of your thighs, your pussy dripping in front of him.
"Didn't even get a chance to play with it a little bit,”
"I'm not one of your computer games.” You glare between your legs.
"Shut up,” he flicks your clit, "now,” he lines himself up with you, "ready? You're sure about this?”
"So sure. Just do something Wonwoo.” You whine.
He holds one of your ankles, just his tip against your hole makes your breath hitch. He spares you one last glance and then his tip pushes in, stretching you open deliciously and making you both moan at the feeling.
He’s gentle, his hips rocking, gradually feeding you more and more of his dick and your walls feeling fuller than you probably ever have. The stretch burns just right and finally having him like this feels like you're exactly where you should be. It was always meant to be him, that's the reason it feels so fucking good already and he's not even fucking you yet.
"Shit.” He hisses when he's fully bottomed out, "you feel incredible baby. So perfect, fuck it's like you were made just for me.”
You don't answer, you're just basking in how fucking full you feel.
"Can I move?"
“Please," you manage to croak out.
Wonwoo puts his weight on you, allowing you to wrap your arms around his back instead of holding your legs and rests his hands either side of your head.
"I love you.”
"I love you t…..shit!"
He doesn’t even let you fucking finish saying it before he pulls out just to the tip and slams back into you, deeper than you're certain anyone has ever gotten and makes you throw your head back on the pillow in pleasure.
The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping and your drooling cunt being pounded by the man of your dreams. Your finger nails dimple his back with little crescent moons, not that he’ll need anything to remind him of tonight. This is everything he's been waiting for, it'll be etched onto his brain how fucking good it felt to finally feel you and be close to, until his dying breath.
You feel like you can't breathe. His weight is on top of you, you're more or less folded in half and he’s fucking you so hard it's a wonder you've not smacked your head on the headboard. But you wouldn't have it any other way because if anything, the lack of breath only adds to how insane you feel right now.
His dick is bullying its way into your warm willing walls, he's so deep you're certain he's crashing into your cervix and all you can do is hold onto him and enjoy the ride.
“You feel so good," he groans when he hits a squishy spot inside you that drives you both wild.
“You too," you whisper, trying to hold him even closer to you.
“You're a fucking goddess baby. And you're mine, all fucking mine,” He moans when you clench around his perfect dick.
"Y-you’re,” you try to get out but you're already so close to cumming, "m-mine too,”
“Yeah? Gonna cum around my dick baby? Let me feel how good I'm making you feel?"
“Hm-mm,"
He moves one of his hands from beside your head, his dick still slamming but when two fingers drift down to your clit and rubs tight little circles on your bundle of nerves, you completely lose it.
“Fuckfuckfuck," you cry, your hole clenching repeatedly around him.
Your whole pussy is quivering, his dick dragging against your walls deliciously and his magic fingers drawing perfect little patterns on your clit. What was it he said? I'm good with my hands? He really wasn't lying, his fingers somehow know exactly how to tease your clit just right.
Just one more thrust and you cry out, your whole body vibrating beneath him and hole contracting around his dick again and again. You're not sure you've ever cum so hard in your life. The weight of Wonwoo on top of you and the way he looks like he's completely lost in the feeling of you cumming for him only drives you on even more. You can’t move but you don't need to, Wonwoo doesn't stop fucking you, making sure you ride your orgasm out for as long as possible, revelling in the way you feel around him.
“Wonwoo," you shakily breath out, “cum. Please cum inside me, fill me up, I," you sigh, still shaking from the end of your orgasm, “wanna feel you cum in me."
He lets out a deep, guttural growl, your words being the tipping point for him as his body stills on top of you for a second before he keeps fucking into you. Fucking his cum into you.
"Fuck I love you _____,” his hips keep sloppily fucking into you and he moans when you clench a little, "I love you so fucking much.”
"I love you too,” you say softly, your hands gliding up his back to hold him close to you so you can whisper in his ear, "so, so much Wonwoo.”
His hips gradually slow, your fingers deciding to draw patterns along his sweaty, marked back, hoping to soothe his heavy breathing and hold him as close to you as possible.
Wonwoo raises his head to look at you, his cheeks flushed and pupils blown out, but he looks at you with so much fondness and so much love you feel like doing a little happy cry.
“Are you ok?" He asks quietly, helping you move your legs and smiling as your waggle your feet now they're free.
“I am," you hold his cheeks, “I love you."
The kiss on his lips is sweet and filled with promise.
“I love you too. Can I," he moves back, taking his softening dick out of you.
His eyes widen as he sits back, watching his cum drip out of you.
“Fuck," he whispers in awe as his fingers move to pick up a little bit of it and stuff it back in.
“Don't giggle," you chastise him when he chuckles a little at your thighs twitching, “I'm sensitive."
“I fucked you that well?" He asks, keeping his eyes on your cum filled hole as he moves to lie next to you.
“I don't think I've ever felt like that…..don't look so smug!" You tap his chest when he looks more than pleased with himself.
“What?!" He pulls you into his chest, your leg hooking over his hip, “not everyday you hear that from the woman you love."
“That makes me feel all tingly," you murmur into his chest, his strong arms wrapped around you.
“What does? That I luuurve you," he squeezes you and then squeezes you again just to hear the laugh he loves so much.
"Yes.” You giggle.
He holds you, kissing your head occasionally, both of you basking in the afterglow of what's just gone down.
“_____?"
“Hmm?"
“Just so you know. I'm all in. I want whatever you want, I just want to be with you."
“Me too."
You think for a minute, wondering how to bring up the last thing that's been worrying you. You only thought about it on the drive home but now all your horniness has been satiated, you need to ask him.
“This doesn't change anything does it? I mean with Ari and the guys? Like you're all still…..I don't know how to put it. Equal? Like you don't think you trump Mingyu because…..”
"Never.” He cuts you off, "what we have works. She's our daughter, she always will be. I don't feel any different in terms of our family _____. The only thing that changes is my relationship with you. They're my best friends, we all love her the same and you're my girlfriend.”
"I just wanted to check,” you kiss his chest and he holds you a little closer.
"I'm a bit worried about whether she'll think differently of me.” He murmurs.
“Ari?" You prop yourself on your elbow.
“Hm," he nods, “what if when we finally tell her, she decides she doesn't want me near you? She doesn't want her mommy to have a boyfriend or for that boyfriend to be me."
“Are you joking?"
“No! Like what if she hates me for holding your hand or something. That little girl dotes on you, she's never seen you with a man. What if she decides to wage war on me!"
"You're talking about the same little girl that pretended to operate on her dolls with you when she was three because she said she wants to be a doctor like her daddy woowoo…”
"But…"
“The same little girl who doesn't let anyone do her hair other than you. I did it the other day when I was upset with you and she spent the entire drive home after school telling me how she felt like her hair was falling out all day because you hadn't done it."
“That's not the…."
“The same little girl," you sit up and cross your legs, him following and holding your hands, “who has spent her whole life being treated like a princess by three of the best men this world has to offer. She could never hate any of you. And we don't need to tell her quickly, we can take our time. Figure out how we work before we do anything else."
“So you don't think she'll stop reading with me on Sundays?"
“I think the only time she'll do that is when you both finally run out of books. She loves you Wonwoo," you stroke his cheek, “so do the guys. But none of them love you as much as me.” You smile proudly, kissing him softly.
"It's gonna feel like we're teenagers sneaking around,” he pulls you to sit between his legs with his back against the headboard.
"Yeah and there's spies on both floors. Areum's up here and the guys are near you downstairs.”
"Guess we'll have to get really good at shower sex,” he mumbles into your shoulder, his fingers tracing hearts on your skin.
"Or maybe,” you look back at him, "car sex.”
"Absolutely not. Mingyu told me a horror story about a handbrake and rectal bleeding once. That's not happening.”
"He disgusts me sometimes.”
"Can I stay in here tonight?” He whispers in your ear before kissing just beneath it.
"Oh now I've got you, I'm not letting you go.”
“OH LOOK JEONGHAN WE ARE HOME,"
“YES, IT IS NICE TO BE HOME."
They have to be the most ridiculous pair of people you've ever met in your life.
“WE ARE WALKING INTO THE APARTMENT NOW."
“IF THERE WAS SOMETHING WE SHOULDN'T BE SEEING I HOPE IT IS FINISHED NOW."
“What the fuck are you two doing?" Wonwoo asks as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, glancing at you on the sofa.
"Oh.” They both come to a stop. "We thought you'd be doing something disgusting.”
"No, we've decided to just be friends.”
"WHAT?!”
You fall back on the sofa laughing, Wonwoo watching you happily.
"I hope she's joking.” Mingyu points at you.
"She definitely wasn't calling me her friend half an hour ago.”
"Wonwoo!” You scold, sitting up again.
"Oh my ears!” Jeonghan walks to the kitchen, covering his ears.
“When’s Areum back?" Mingyu throws himself on the sofa next to you before Wonwoo can sit down, sending him a middle finger.
“In about twenty minutes. Hey Jeonghan," you holler back to the kitchen, “did you have anything planned for dinner? Because your mom promised Ari pizza if she got dressed when they told her to."
“Bribing kids," Mingyu shakes his head in disgust.
“Yeah because pretending to cry to get them to do what you want is so much better. Move.” Wonwoo stands in front of you and Mingyu.
You glance at Mingyu and then turn back to Wonwoo, pretending to not know what's annoying him.
"Me?” Mingyu points to himself, pretending to be a little shocked.
"Obviously.”
"Why? Do you want to sit with your girlfriend?”
"I'll sit on you.”
"Is that a promise?” He smirks at Wonwoo.
You stand up, shove Wonwoo down onto the sofa and then throw yourself on his lap. Sure he groans at the shock but you'll be damned if Mingyu upsets your boyfriend.
"Oh for god's sake. There's two other sofas!”
"Then go sit on one,” you flick Mingyu’s forehead as Wonwoo's arms wrap around you.
"Wait, hold on!” Jeonghan rushes over to you all and sits on Mingyu.
"Dude there's other places to sit.”
"We need a family meeting.”
"The head of the family isn't here.” You point out.
This must look ridiculous, you and Jeonghan sitting on Wonwoo and Mingyu's laps facing each other.
"She's right.” Mingyu picks a rogue thread off Jeonghan's top.
"I think we need to get this sorted before she's home.”
Your stomach drops a bit and Wonwoo takes his arms from around you, settling on a gentle hand on the small of your back.
"Jeonghan…" you try to start but he holds a hand up to stop you.
“When you trusted us with Areum, we all took care of her. You two," he glances at Mingyu and Wonwoo, “didn't hesitate to help me. To help _____. I know we've asked you a few times over the years whether you still wanted to be in this and you've always shot us down saying it was what you wanted. But I just want you to know, that it meant a lot. It means a lot. You care for Areum like she's your own, she's surrounded by love and not just because of me and _____ but because of you two, even your parents treat her like a family member."
You all stare at him, the fact he's sitting on Mingyu’s lap not even looking entertaining anymore.
“Our stupidity brought Areum into this world." He smiles a little at you. “But I'm so pleased we were stupid back then. She is the most precious thing to me and I thank the universe everyday that you trusted me enough that day when you needed help. You're the best mom in the world _____,”
You sniffle, Wonwoo rubbing the small of your back.
"And I know you. It probably won't be better than anyone soon,” he smiles down at Wonwoo, "but I know you and know you'll be worrying somewhere in there,” he taps the side of your head with his finger and makes you laugh, "that I'll see you differently or I'll be annoyed or angry or something but I want you both to know, I have been waiting for you both to realise you loved each other. And I still feel the same as I did before yesterday. I love that you're part of Ari’s life Wonwoo, I love that there's little quirks in her personality that come from you. That come from all four of us. She's a little mini version of all of us and I love that. It may not be normal to everyone but it's normal to us. So. You didn't need my blessing or anything. But just know that I love you both and I know me and Mingyu will joke around about it but don't feel the need to not be yourselves. Because I can't wait to see what you become."
“Jeonghan," you sniffle and pull him into a hug, Wonwoo and Mingyu trying to steady you both what with you both still being on their laps.
“I would threaten you and tell you not to hurt her," he wipes a tear from his cheek when he pulls back, “but I know you won't."
“I won’t," Wonwoo says softly, his arms finally wrapping around you again.
“We er," you wipe your eyes, “we said last night that we'd wait a while to tell Areum. Figure how we’re us before we do it."
“Right. Enough emotions," Jeonghan slaps his legs and stands up, “the boss’ll be back soon. Mingyu you said you needed to edit something. If you do it now then we can all eat the pizza together."
“Oh right yeah," he rushes to stand up. “I'm pleased for you," he ruffles Wonwoo’s hair and kisses the side of your head before he jogs up the stairs.
“I've got really great sister husbands." Wonwoo beams at you as you laugh at him.
“Would it not be brother husbands?" You ponder, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Whatever it is, they're really great."
“So great." You smile and place a gentle kiss on his lips.
“Happy?"
“More than I've ever been."
"MOOOOMMMMMY I’M HOOOME!”
"Shit!” Wonwoo basically throws you off him before Areum and three sets of grandparents appear in the living room.
“I've been reading a new book."
“Don't eat with your mouth full of food," Mingyu says and Ari very dramatically stops talking to finish what she's eating, all four of you waiting to hear what she's going to say.
If this is another Agatha Christie then you're going to really need a stern word with Wonwoo. You're all for them reading together. She won't even need to learn to read at school because Wonwoo’s been reading her full novels since she was a baby. She just sort of knew how to read and started reading full on tomes. But she's going to be reading Great Expectations before she's even in double digits, you're going to run out of books at this rate.
“Finished.” She shows Mingyu her mouth and he recoils in disgust.
"What's your book honey?”
"Cinderalla,”
"An age appropriate book?” You mumble, smiling sarcastically at Wonwoo’s glare he sends your way.
"Did you like it?”
"It’s a bit boring. I don't know why she needed a prince, she could've just locked her step mommy away and stolen all the jewellery.”
The three of you turn to Wonwoo.
"What?” He says defensively, taking a bite of his pizza. "That's not an Agatha Christie.”
"It is,” Areum corrects him happily. “And Gyugyu said you shouldn't talk with your mouth full of food."
He stops chewing for a second in shock, the three of you trying not to laugh at him being told off by a four year old.
"What about Cinderalla Ari?” Wonwoo ignores all your very pointed looks.
"Well the prince,” she wriggles in her seat to get comfy and tell you all about her book, "is really nice to Cinderella even though she looks a bit boring at the start he does all of these nice things for her like finds her shoe and then she's really happy and he keeps being nice to her and then they live happily ever after.”
“Did you enjoy it then?" Hoping this new found interest in fairy tales might draw her away from Poirot.
“Not really. But I was thinking."
Oh god.
“What about honeybun?" Jeonghan asks, giving her another slice of pizza.
“Well Woowoo does really nice things for mommy and he's always finding things she's lost and even when she looks like a scarecrow when she's just woken up and he's grumpy because he's woken up late he still smiles when he sees mommy and you and Gyugyu don't do that and so I think Woowoo probably makes mommy as happy as the prince because he does nice things for her and makes her happy and I think" she takes a deep breath from her rambling, “that they will live happily ever after."
All four of you gawk at her, not that she cares, she's too busy taking the pepperoni off Mingyu's pizza and adding it to hers.
“Ari," Jeonghan says softly, deciding to ask this himself because he can see you and Wonwoo are a bit shocked, “would you be ok with that though? If they lived happily ever after like the prince and Cinderella?"
“Mmmmmmmm," she taps her chin, thinking and leaving a greasy finger mark from the pizza, “I think so. Mommy smiles a lot when Woowoo is here." She whispers to Jeonghan like she's telling him her darkest secrets. "And I like it best when mommy smiles because she's my best friend.”
Fuck a duck.
"Why are you crying mommy? Did Gyugyu do something?” She frowns very seriously at Mingyu, her little arms folded.
"No honey,” you wipe your eyes, "and I'm not sad. I'm just very proud of you.”
"Because I read Cinderella?”
"Well yes, but more because you're you.”
"Who else would I be?” Her brows knit together as she picks her pizza up.
"No-one honey,” you chuckle, the other three joining in with you as you watch her tuck into her pizza with much too much pepperoni, not caring that she's just taken a massive weight of all your minds.
"Turns out it was just you two that didn't know.” Mingyu mutters, but soon stops looking so smug when you kick him in the leg.
"God I wish they wouldn't just roam around,” Wonwoo dodges a six year old dressed as a sheep.
"I don't see why they need to do this at all. Why not just put on a normal talent show?” Jeonghan glares at some glitter that's landed on his new jacket.
"Because it's Christmas.” You say through gritted teeth, pulling Wonwoo out of the line of fire of a three foot candy cane who was running past, “and so everyone needed to dress for the festive season."
“What’s festive about a sheep?" Wonwoo demands.
“I don't fucking know." You grumble.
“_____!"
No. No no no. You cannot deal with the mothers of the parent teacher association.
“Hi!" You turn around to them, your biggest and yet fakest smile plastered on your face.
“I see you've all come," the three women nod at the men flanking you.
“We wouldn't miss it," Mingyu beams proudly.
“We just wanted to ask, we're putting on a dance for valentine's day."
“Isn't that months away?" Wonwoo asks.
“Which one are you?" One of them asks condescendingly.
“Jeon Wonwoo, senior cardiothoracic surgeon at Asan Medical Centre," he holds his hand out and you try not to smile.
“O-oh," they all look a little taken aback as they shake his hand. Clearly they weren't banking on that. You swear they think you're in a quadruple or whatever it would be. It really isn't that hard to grasp that four people can bring up a child and it doesn't mean they're in a cult or a weird joint marriage.
“Mommy," Areum rushes up to you, “I've forgotten my tinsel crown."
“I've got a spare!" Mingyu pulls some tinsel out from his pocket.
“Thank you Gyugyu!" And she runs off again.
“We just wanted to know if you remembered the bake stall for after the talent show,"
You hate how they look at you. They think because your home set up isn't normal that it must mean you're all idiots that don't know what day of the week it is, let alone able to function like a regular family.
“I've made brownies, cupcakes and a pretty impressive bunt cake, if I do say so myself," Jeonghan cockily high fives Mingyu.
“Oh. I see."
Fuck do you feel smug.
"And we needed a donation for the……..”
"I made a sizeable donation on behalf of all of us two days ago. The principal actually called me herself saying how grateful she was.” You say in a sickly sweet voice.
"Really?” They all falter, looking between each other.
"Moooommmmy,” Areum comes rushing over again, "sorry I just need to speak to my mommy.” She says to wicked witches of the pta, "Mommy. Could you please remind Woowoo that he said we were going to the bookstore on the way home, I'm not talking to him because he ate my last chocolate Santa."
“I'll tell him." You nod very seriously.
“Bye!" She waves at the pta mothers and runs off again.
“I wish mine would read willingly," one of the kinder of the mothers mumbles, much to disgust of her friends.
“You were saying something about valentine's day?"
“What?"
“Isn't that why you came over? I presume you had a reason and it wasn't just because you like to belittle my girlfriend."
Ooooooh, now he's done it. All three of them bristle at Wonwoo’s comment but you can tell they're still trying to keep that fake polite exterior. You're going to give him such good head when you get home.
“Not at all, well all love seeing you all!"
Just as they finish that lie, a loud crash rings around the room and a teacher starts shouting at two boys.
“Oh," Mingyu frowns, “isn't that two of yours?" He points at two of the pta women.
“It's not Areum is it?" Jeonghan asks knowing full well it isn't.
“No, she's sitting with her friend over there, helping her plait her hair.” Wonwoo points out.
Satisfaction. In it's purest form, seeing your perfectly behaved, if not overly opinionated daughter, showing just how well she's been brought up by her "not normal” family. And then their son’s acting like little shits and being given detention at six years old. Perfection.
"Valentine's day?” You ask again.
"Oh right,” they drag their eyes away from the chaos, a look a evil on their faces again, “We wondered if we should have a daddy/ daughter dance or if it would upset Areum.”
"Why would it upset Areum?” You demand before the other three can ask anything.
"Well,” the leader smirks, "we wouldn't want to cause trouble.”
These fucking people. What gives them the right?
"Areum has three dads who love her. Who are here, unlike your children’s fathers. You might not get our family but you are no better than us because your children have just a mother and a father. Families come in all shapes and sizes and she’s loved and cared for and that's all that matters. If you don't like that, then I feel sorry for you. But do not go out of your way to insult the three men that have helped make that girl what she is today."
They stare at you before scuttling off back under whatever hole they wriggled out of.
"That,” Wonwoo pulls you to him, "was fucking hot.” He whispers in your ear.
"I feel like a princess when a knight defends her honour,” Mingyu smiles.
"Hey _____,” someone grabs your arm, "I couldn't have put it better myself, they did the same to me and my wife. Well done.” One of the mother’s from Ari’s class says proudly before she needs to rush off to find their daughter.
“Seats please!" Someone shouts and cuts off any proud gloating you were about the embark on.
“We should've bought a hip flask," Jeonghan complains, leading the way.
“Is that a goat? What does a goat have to do with Christmas?" Wonwoo complains, glaring at the other children as you drag him to his seat, Mingyu following behind you both.
"Maybe it's the goat of Christmas past.” You and Wonwoo stop and turn to Mingyu, a look of disgust on your faces.
"What?! That was a good one!”
"Come on, I don't want to miss Ari,” you sigh.
You take your seats, Mingyu next to an old lady who flusters when he says hello to her, Jeonghan next to him and you inbetween Jeonghan and Wonwoo. All of you waiting for the torture that's to come.
Children come and go, singing (or trying to), dancing (and falling), one even did a performance of her impersonating her fish. Five minutes of her just opening and closing her mouth dressed like what seemed to be a trout before someone finally put her, and Wonwoo, out of their misery.
But finally it's Areum's turn. She's performing Jingle Bells with her friend, dressed entirely in tinsel for reasons only known to them, and they even have little sets of bells to accompany their singing.
The old lady on the piano starts and they start singing. No nerves, no tantrums, just a happy little girl singing the song her and friend had learnt two weeks ago in your kitchen when Jeonghan said he'd help them.
For all of Wonwoo’s complaining about the calibre of performances and declaring that most of the children should be in a zoo, you watch him watching Areum and her friend with nothing but pride in his eyes. They're horrendously out of tune and the bells are definitely not in time with the piano or the singing. But to Wonwoo? He'd probably declare it a Grammy worthy performance.
Their song ends and people politely clap them like they do for every perfomance but this round of applause is a little different. Because this time three men stand and give a standing ovation to the two little girls on the stage, hooting and hollering making sure that both girls know how well they've performed.
It's as you join them, sour faced parents around you who glare out of the corner of their eyes, and cheer your little girl, that you realise just how lucky you both are that you realised how bad things were that day when baby Areum wouldn't stop crying.
Things got better. Things got a whole lot better. And it isn't just down to Mingyu, Wonwoo and Jeonghan. It's down to the fact that you knew you had people to help you. That even when you felt alone in the world, you still deep down knew that you weren't.
As the cheering ends and you sit back down, Wonwoo turns to you, his hand taking yours.
Pairing ✨ Wonwoo x Female OC (ft. Jeonghan + Mingyu)
Synopsis ✨ When you had a baby with your on and off again situationship/ best friend, you couldn't cope. He and his friends took care of the baby whilst you got the help you needed. Now she's four, you're all living together and somehow all four of you are trying to navigate being normal 30 year olds and raising your daughter.
🩵 Very much a take on Three Men And A Little Lady (six year old me's favourite film) 🩵
Genre ✨ found family, fluff, angst, smut
Plot warnings ✨found family but also all their families are supportive, Wonwoo is a surgeon, Mingyu is a vlogger, Jeonghan is rich? (stay at home dad), OC is an artist, their daughter is called Areum (referred to as Areum and Ari), Wonwoo isn't the biological dad, descriptions of struggling to cope, postnatal depression (this is only really explicitly talked about at the start), very brief reference to abortion, she leaves the baby with the guys, Jeonghan being an absolute supportive king, IDIOTS in love, Jeonghan and Mingyu are unhelpful to the max when it comes to oc and Wonwoo's relationship, bi Jeonghan, Jeonghan struggling to come to terms with being bi, drinking, misunderstandings, Seokmin slander (he's a terrible date), spiralling, Wonwoo hating every child that isn't theirs, they're all the best girl dads there's ever been, mentions of cheating and homewrecking (there isn't any, OC is just a grade A idiot), sort of cliff hanger ending but it's obvious what'll happen and I'm going to do a little follow up to this when I get round to it
Smut warnings ✨ oral m.receiving/ dildo receiving(?), use of sex toys (aforementioned dildo), dom Wonwoo, deep throating, choking, body worship, Wonwoo is big, slight finger sucking (it has been pointed out I almost always include this so I'm just doubling down on the finger sucking), slight body insecurity (it's more nerves really), mating press, fluffy yet filthy sex?, unprotected sex-ish (she is on birth control), possessive Wonwoo, slight possessive OC, marking (back scratches), creampie, A LOT of saying I love you, slight cum play
Word count ✨ 19.5k
a/n ✨ I have deleted this no less than three times, written about ten other stories when I decided it was rubbish and then fell in love with the idea again and finally got my shit together and rewrote it. So this has been sitting in my drafts since I finished it, waiting for the loml's birthday (why does it feel like Wonwoo has been away for 300 years? I swear they're making my man do double the amount of time). And it took a lot of self restraint to not give one of them a comically large mustache so it was more like the original film. I won't be uploading anything for a few weeks because life is about to be hectic, so I hope you enjoy this little piece of chaos for Wonwoo's birthday!
Four Years Ago:
“What do you think you're going to do with those?"
“Defend us?" Mingyu says it like it should be obvious, holding his hair straighteners aloft ready to fight off anyone and everyone.
“Oh you'll really show whoever it is you mean business in that fluffy robe."
“Fuck you Wonwoo, at least…."
“Shut up! Let's just…take a deep breath,” Jeonghan dramatically breathes in and out.
“What the fuck is wrong with you two? People hardly ring the buzzer if they're about to rob or murder you."
“You don’t know that Wonwoo," Jeonghan holds up a finger to shut him up.
“Yeah, it might just be a really polite murderer," Mingyu adds.
“Pair of fucking idiots."
"You shouldn't let him talk to you like that, it's your penthouse Jeonghan,"
“I pay rent! Try it sometime Mingyu!" Wonwoo hollers as he struts to the front door.
"He's really fucking mean when he's tired.”
"He is right dude, it's been months since you paid me rent.”
"You're a gazillionaire.”
"It's the gesture, y'know?”
"Whatever,” Mingyu rolls his eyes as they come to stand at the front door either side of Wonwoo.
"Well. Open it then,”
"Oh noooooow you're not so brave!”
"I just think it's your penthouse, you should open the door."
“Mingyu," Jeonghan turns to his friend, “open the door."
“Why me?!"
“You've got the straighteners."
“And you're built like a house." Wonwoo chimes in.
“And what’ll happen when you give me a complex huh? Who'll be the butt of your jokes then?”
"Still you.”
"Just open the door Mingyu!” Jeonghan barks, clearly having had enough of his two best friends come roommates.
"Alright! There's no need to shout!”
He wraps his hand around the doorknob, taking a deep breath as his two friends shift awkwardly on their feet, dreading whatever is behind the door. Because nothing good ever comes of unannounced guests at three in the morning.
Mingyu flings the door open and they all frown, there's nobody there? Had they spent so long arguing that whoever it was walked off in boredom? Or it was just some kids messing about? But this is the penthouse of one of the most exclusive buildings in the city, you can't get up here without a code.
A babbling shocks them though.
“Is that?"
“What the hell?"
“Is that a……”
A baby's giggle makes them all jump back.
"How did it ring the buzzer?” Mingyu whispers to Wonwoo.
"There's a note idiot.” Jeonghan reaches down but pauses when he sees his name written on the envelope.
“It knows your name?" Mingyu asks in wonder.
"Did you go to school?”
"Hey fuck you Wo…" he stops himself when he realises he's sworn in front of the baby.
“Are you gonna, y’know, open it?" Wonwoo presses.
“O-oh, yeah sure,"
His fingers shake as he opens the envelope, a weird feeling of doom hanging over him.
Jeonghan,
I don't even know what to write. I guess I should start with I'm sorry? I know we were nothing serious, I know I just stopped picking up your calls but I just didn't know what to do.
I've tried Jeonghan, I really have but I can't do it. I can't be what she needs, I can't be what I need right now.
I feel like I'm sinking and I can't take her down with me, she deserves someone, anyone other than me.
Her name's Areum, she's two months old and she's yours. And don't worry, you have my full permission to do a DNA test. I wouldn't trust me either. I've put her favourite blanket and teddy bear in her bag, there's some formula too and some clean clothes.
Just know that I tried. Please please know that I really did try my best for her.
And tell her mommy loves her, I'm just doing what's best for her. My best was just never going to be good enough for her or anyone.
I hope you'll both forgive me,
______
“_____!" Jeonghan throws the note at Wonwoo and sprints to the elevator.
He needs to find you, he needs to get to you. He knew it was weird you stopped picking up the phone but you're a free spirit, always have been ever since you both met at university.
He should've kept calling, he should've hammered your fucking door down.
You've had a baby, you've had his baby and you've done it all on your fucking own. Sure, it wasn't planned, you two just fooled around whenever you were drunk and single at the same time. It was reckless and stupid but you both got what you needed and so you didn't see a problem with it. But he'd never desert you, he'd never not step up to be what you and the baby needed. You're his friend and he loves you, he should've shown you that. Maybe then you wouldn't be in this state.
He slams the button again and again until eventually the doors open and he rushes in. A part of him hoped you'd still be in here but it's just silence, so silent he feels like he can hear his heart beat.
The doors open in the foyer and he was rushes out onto the street, his head in his hands as he looks up and down over and over again hoping to spot you disappearing into the distance.
But it's no use.
You've already disappeared.
You've disappeared and he's got no way of finding out if you're ok.
What the fuck is he thinking he knows you're not ok but that only makes everything so much worse. He's not bothered you didn't tell him about the baby, he's not bothered you've had the baby at the moment, his concern is you and whatever state of mind you're in.
But he knows he can't do anything about it at three in the morning. As soon as the hour is a bit more reasonable, he'll call your parents, he'll call your old school friends, fuck he’ll call the police if he has to. But he will make sure you're ok. He owes you that much.
At some point his feet bring him back to his apartment, the door slams behind him and he finds his two best friends watching a baby he didn't know existed ten minutes, as it bounces in its carrier.
“Did you find her?"
“She's gone,"
“We'll find her Jeonghan, I promise." Mingyu squeezes his shoulder.
“I don't know what to do," Jeonghan whispers, staring down at a baby that has his eyes.
“We take care of her." Wonwoo mumbles.
“_____ or the baby?"
“Both."
“Yoon Areum if you don’t get down here right now I’ll send Mingyu up there!” Jeonghan booms up the stairs.
“What’s Mingyu gonna do, paint their nails together?”
“He’s got a new thing where he pretends to cry because he realised she’ll do as she’s told then,” You tell Wonwoo as you sip your coffee.
“That’s manipulation.”
“And you reading her the dictionary is child cruelty.” Jeonghan fires back as he pours pancake batter in the pan on the stove.
“Excuse me? I think you’ll find that our daughter has the reading age of a high schooler.”
“She also has the reading tastes of an old lady,”
“Jeonghan’s right, I found her reading Agatha Christie the other day.”
“One of the greatest female writers of all time,” Wonwoo says proudly.
“It’s about murder Wonwoo.” You deadpan.
“Murder happens. It’s better she knows.”
“She’s four!” Jeonghan spins round.
“This is just another thing that they’re going to use against us,” you groan and rest your head on the kitchen island.
Wonwoo and Jeonghan share a look. You’d been panicking, they all knew it. For the past almost four years you’ve all been living together at Jeonghan’s penthouse. You’d been friends for years but when you found out you were pregnant you just spiralled. Like massively spiralled. You shut everyone off, ashamed that you’d fucked up so much. Sure you weren’t a complete mess but you were in no way ready for a baby. You’d made an appointment, you were going to go to the clinic and the whole thing would be over.
But when it came to it. You just couldn’t. You ran away from the clinic and away from everyone in your life. Even at the hospital, when you were giving birth, they pleaded with you to let them contact your parents or the father but you just wouldn’t. You were adamant this was your fuck up and you’d deal with it.
And then she arrived, the most beautiful baby you’d ever seen in your life. You took her back to your apartment and then things just went from bad to worse. You couldn’t get out of bed, you couldn’t eat, you just couldn’t function and you knew you were letting her down. You weren’t even looking after yourself well enough that she had enough milk, she had to go onto formula and that was just another thing that showed you how shit a mother you were. No matter how many times the medical visitor said it was totally normal for some mothers not to be able to feed as well as others and not to blame yourself, you still did. You were letting her down.
You brought her into this world and now you were letting her down. It was when she’d been crying for hours and you were sobbing on the floor that you knew you had to do something. It wasn’t loving her right to try and struggle through, it was loving her more to not be around her. You’d just ruin her life. You already were ruining her life.
Your parents would help. You knew they would. They’re well off, you’d never wanted anything in life, hell they’d even let you live at home for years until your paintings finally started selling and you could sustain yourself. But if anything that made it worse. You came from a good family. You’d made yourself a more than comfortable life, you had enough money to do whatever you wanted which is pretty rare for a 26 year old.
So if money and family and surroundings weren’t the reason you were struggling so much to give your baby what she needed. The only problem, the only common denominator in how shit life was for you and Areum. Was you.
Jeonghan was a good man, you’d been friends for years and he had a good family. Better than good. One of the richest families in Korea though they were somehow a close knit loving family in spite of the money and power they had. They’d look after her. And that’s what she needed, people that loved her like you but weren’t fucking terrible at everything.
It broke you to leave her. It broke you to see Jeonghan running after you. If he’d have just run down the stairwell instead of taking the elevator, he’d have found you.
You wanted to walk away but you couldn’t.
Not until you knew she was safe in his hands.
The next day he sat outside your apartment until you finally answered, telling you that he had all the time in the world because Wonwoo and Mingyu were knee deep in diapers. Eventually you answered and he didn’t shout or scream. He just sat and listened and held you when you cried. By the end of that week you’d seen a doctor, your mom, Jeonghan’s mom and Jeonghan with you, as the doctor told you that none of it was your fault and you weren’t a bad mother. A bad mother would never wait to make sure her daughter was safe. A bad mother wouldn’t have realised how bad the situation was for you or the baby. They diagnosed you with post natal depression and you spent a couple of weeks with your parents.
The guys would bring Areum by every couple of days and between her smiling face and the chaos of the three men who had come to dote on her, you gradually got better.
After a few weeks Jeonghan suggested you move in with them. He had more than enough room for you to have your own space and they’d even decided to turn the home gym into Areum’s bedroom for when she was old enough to sleep on her own. They’d bought everything they needed for a baby and more besides. And when you said you weren’t sure, all three of them descended on you saying it was what they all wanted. They wanted to be there and surely the more help, the better.
You agreed and the rest is history.
It wasn’t always easy but it worked. She had three men who would do anything for her, who you see in her ever flourishing personality and you’d managed to become the mother she deserved. It didn’t stop you doubting yourself or worrying about what people thought but with three of the best cheerleaders in the world on your side, life was good. A bit mad. But good.
“He’s on the phone to Hyeji anyway, they’re probably going you hang up , no you hang up. There’s more chance of Ari throwing up than doing what she’s told.”
“I like her! She’s been good for him!”
“I’m not saying she hasn’t, I just wish they didn’t live in two different countries, I’m sick of hearing them having phone sex.”
You and Jeonghan grimace at that.
Mingyu and his girlfriend met online. They’re vloggers. Or bloggers. Or….something to do with going to cafes and eating too much food on the internet. He makes decent money off it, even enough to pay Jeonghan all the rent he owed him over the years, but you’ve no idea how he makes money off just wandering around the city when it’s raining and then drinking an overpriced latte. But he’s happy and that’s all that matters.
“When are you going to introduce us to your new girlfriend?” You turn on your stool to smirk at Jeonghan.
“I don’t have one.”
“Oh please, you’re always smiling at your phone.”
“Do you not think it’s weird to try and pimp out your baby daddy?”
“Not at all, I’m just trying to get you to leave the house.”
“It’s not my fault I’ve somehow become a maid for you three and our daughter. Talking of her, AREUM YOU HAVE TILL THREE OR I’M COMING UP THERE,” He marches off with his hands on his hips.
“It’ll all be fine you know,”
“I know it will you,” you sigh as you turn back to Wonwoo, “it’s just I know people will think it’s weird and I don’t really care about them, I just don’t want them to take it out on Ari.”
“Ari can handle herself.” Wonwoo nods, smiling.
“I know but this is the first time she’s going to be around normal families,”
“Hey, there is nothing normal. And she’s one of the most well adjusted, intelligent, beautiful little girls I’ve ever met. And I’m a doctor so I should know.”
“You’re a heart surgeon,” you narrow your eyes at him, “how many kids have heart attacks?”
“It happens,” he shrugs, “but I see them in the hospital, roaming around the place like feral animals. She’s way better than other kids.”
“I’m not sure you can say that,”
“Well I did,” he takes a slice of toast as a flustered Jeonghan stomps back into the kitchen.
“She wants Wonwoo to do her hair, apparently the way I do plaits is wrong.”
“I am good with my hands,” Wonwoo beams, throwing his toast down as he rushes off to do your daughter's hair.
He’s no idea what he’s just said or the road your mind is currently travelling down but Jeonghan smiles knowingly at you watching Wonwoo disappear up the stairs and goes back to making pancakes.
“Why don’t you just tell him?”
“Tell who what?”
“Tell Wonwoo how you feel.”
“He’s already asked me how I’m feeling today, it’s a big day, you’ve all asked me.”
“Don’t get smart with me _____, I know you better than anyone.”
It’s true. He does. You’d realised pretty early on, probably before you even had Areum, that you and Jeonghan worked really well together. But it’s very much just as friends. It was just letting off steam whenever you had sex, like a weird situationship where you were best friends until you were both horny and then you were both just means to an end.
It worked. There was no jealousy or arguing about other people because you knew you didn’t love each other like that. You did love each other but like he’s a family member. You loved that you both brought Areum into the world. And that’s lucky. Because couples break up all the time and ruin their kid’s lives. But you two are best friends raising your child with your two other friends and if anything, you feel more secure than you would in a relationship and raising a child.
“What do you want me to say?” You whine quietly.
“Tell Wonwoo….”
“Tell Wonwoo what?” The man himself jumps down the bottom step of the stairs whilst a very excited Areum runs at you.
“Mommy! Can you please tell him that I wasn’t late. I’m right on time, we only start at 9am.”
“I thought it was 8:30?”
“That’s what mommy told you but it’s because you’re always late.”
“Are you serious?!” Jeonghan spins round, almost knocking the pancakes off the counter.
“You are always late.” You dismiss him.
“You,” he points at his daughter with the spatula, “come here and eat these pancakes. I demand it.”
“Is there syrup?” Ari asks, her hands on her hips, the complete double of her father.
“Obviously. I’m not a monster.”
“Ok then,” she giggles and Jeonghan scoops her up into his arms as they flip the last pancake.
“What did you need to tell me?” Wonwoo asks softly as he sits back down.
“O-oh!” Fuck you need to think of something convincing, “I er, I have an appointment at the hospital and it’s around lunch time.”
“Ok?” His eyebrows knit together, “It’s nothing serious is it? Anything I can do?”
“No! No, it’s just a dermatologist appointment. Not that I have a rash or something! It’s just a follow up about some dry skin.” Fuck, shut the hell up ______.
“Thanks for letting me know? I guess?”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to grab lunch? What with me being there and you being there and us living together, y’know as friends.”
He sits in silence until you finish whatever bullshit is coming out of your mouth.
“Sorry _____, I have plans for lunch.”
Of course he fucking does. You weren’t even going to tell him you were going to the hospital, you’d be happily eating your breakfast if it wasn’t for fucking Jeonghan.
“No problem!” You smile fakely and grab the jam.
“We could…..”
But you don’t hear Wonwoo’s gentle voice because Jeonghan launches a pancake so high into the air that it sticks to his ten foot ceilings and chaos ensues.
The rest of the morning passes in a whirlwind of a messy kitchen, photos with all of you and Areum before her first day at school and then Jeonghan and Wonwoo trying to calm you and Mingyu down as you both bawl in the back of the car about how your baby is all grown up.
Why do they insist on putting the pharmacy in hospitals so far away from literally everything? You swear you've been round this hospital five times and it's not like you've not been following the signs, you have.
You thought you'd finally found it. There seemed to be a gaggle of people huddled around and you presumed they were waiting for meds but instead you stumbled on the cafeteria.
It is lunch time. And you have walked thirty four miles in search of the pharmacy so you don't suppose it'd hurt to get something to eat. You haven't got too long until you'll need to pick Ari up from school. You and Mingyu had said you'd go mainly because you've both been checking your phones every ten minutes in case she'd fallen to the ground in a fit of tears declaring she needed her mommy. But she hadn't, it was you that felt like you needed your mom.
You settle on just grabbing a drink from the fridges. The place is packed and you won't be the person that takes the spot in the queue for food from an overworked doctor because you're bored and in a mood about pharmacies.
Grabbing a soda and closing the door, you're ready to head to pay when you hear a name you know better than most. You don't know the voice speaking it, but you definitely know the name.
You search through the tables, hoping to spot him. You know he said he was busy but surely he wouldn't object to you saying hello, you do raise a child together after all.
Just how many tables are in this fucking cafeteria?! You can't spot him for shit, maybe you were wrong, maybe it wasn't his name. But then you spot him and you feel like throwing your bottle of soda at the man at the table in front of you.
He's smiling, the same smile you love so much, at a woman. Yes, not the most damning of situations to find him in, but he's still laughing. And if anything they're sitting pretty close to each other. Too close in your opinion, they should be at least two metres away from each other to make it decent. It's just those two at the table and they're chatting and laughing and probably falling in love and forgetting you or Ari exist completely.
You’re not sure why you're so pissed off but why hadn't he just said he had a date. They've all been on dates since you've lived there. You have one firm rule. They don't bring anyone into Areum’s life until they know they're serious about them. She doesn't need hundreds of people in her life and it confuses her.
It was a good rule. It worked. Not that you've ever used it, you haven't been on a single date since you had her. But it worked in general for you all as a family but right now? You'd quite like it if the rule was that none of them go out of the house except for work and even then they can't speak to anyone else that isn't you.
Well.
You're not so bothered about the rule for Mingyu and Jeonghan but for Wonwoo? No. He needs to be chained to his desk or something so this woman can't get near him.
You need to get out of here, you can't risk him seeing you, fuck knows what you'd end up saying. It'd either be sobbing that you loved him or you'd aim the soda you've just put back in the fridge at his little girlfriend's head.
You rush back to the car, you'll get your cream the doctor prescribed another time, and slam the door behind you.
Why did you think he'd ever think of you as anything more than Areum’s mom?
Thank fuck you didn't listen to Jeonghan. If you'd have told Wonwoo exactly how you feel and he turned round and said “Cool. Here's my girlfriend." You'd never be able to step foot out of your bedroom again. Ari would need to tell her friends that her mom was like a modern day Mrs Haversham and you'd just get little updates from Jeonghan through the door.
You've no idea what takes over you. But you do something you swore you'd never do. You'd always claimed it was like wading through the depths of hell.
But you do it anyway.
You take out your phone. And you download tinder.
"Does every breakfast need to be so dramatic?” Wonwoo groans, looking at you. But frowns a little when he realises you're not really paying attention to him. He likes your little chats whilst all the chaos unfolds around you both.
"Ari, come here let me do your hair.”
"Woowoo does my hair."
“Just," you sigh, scratching your brow, “come here. He's eating his breakfast,"
“I don't mind……”
"It's fine,” you don’t look at him and just turn Ari around when she comes over so you can do her hair.
"I was thinking we could have burgers for dinner. I got some steak and I want to try the new mincer thing I bought.”
"Yeeees!!!” Mingyu and Ari shout together.
"I can't, I've got plans.”
The three men stop eating their breakfasts and stare at you, the cereal from Mingyu’s spoon falling from his spoon.
"With who?”
"A friend.” You finish plaiting Areum’s hair and pat her bum to send her back to her chair.
"I thought we were your friends.”
“Yeah! What she said!" Jeonghan points at Ari, frowning at you.
“I do have a life, Jeonghan."
“Is it a new friend?" Mingyu asks bluntly.
“I met them on that thing." You mumble, not really wanting to have this conversation in front of Ari.
“What thing?" Wonwoo demands next to you, his face like thunder.
“The thing where people meet new friends."
They all share blank stares as Areum happily eats her cereal, her little legs swinging.
"What?”
"I met someone on tinder.” You say loudly and the silence that follows is palpable.
"What's a tinder?”
"It's, er, well,” shit you didn't want to just blurt that out, this is the first time you're using the dating rule and it's already going wrong, "it's….."
“It's something you use to start a fire."
“Why would mommy be starting fires?"
“I won't be," you glare at Mingyu, why the hell would he mention fires to a four year old?!
“You're going to start a fire with your new friend?"
“I'm just going to dinner with my new friend honey, there's no fire."
“Is she nice?"
“Yeah," Wonwoo glares, Mingyu and Jeonghan lowering themselves slightly in their seats, “is she nice?"
"Seems to be,” you shrug, not being drawn into admitting it's very much a man that you're going to dinner with.
"I think it's nice you have a friend mommy. I made some friends at school and I really like them. I think your friends will make you happy like my friends make me happy.”
"Hopefully,”
"Can I come?”
"Not this time honey, it's a fancy restaurant anyway, you won't like the food,” you tickle her tummy and make her giggle.
"Does that mean you'll get to dress like a princess?”
"I don't know, I haven't decided what to wear yet.”
"I think,” she puts her spoon down and kneels up on her chair so she can lean over to you, her little hands on your cheeks, "you always look like a princess. And," she puts her head close to yours so she can whisper to you, “don't forget that I'm your best friend mommy."
"I won't honey,” you take her little hands and place a kiss on each palm, "c’mon let's get you to school, if we hurry we can leave these three with all this mess.”
"Good plan mommy,” she whispers back and runs off to get her stuff.
"Soooooo,” Jeonghan says once Areum is out of earshot, "you're going on a date?”
"Is that not allowed?”
"I-it is!” Mingyu rushes to add in but throws a tentative glance at Wonwoo, "I just didn't know you were looking for that right now.”
"I haven't been on a date since I had Ari. In fact it was probably like two years before that. And you three all see people, no matter how much you hide it. Or think you do.”
They all frown at each other, Jeonghan rolling his eyes a little because he presumes you're talking about him and whoever you think he's seeing.
"Just, be careful.”
"Do you say that to Wonwoo or Mingyu?!”
"_____,” he groans, "I'm just looking out for you!”
"Well thanks,” you scrape your chair back and stand up to take your daughter to school, "but I'm 30 years old. I can't just watch everyone live their lives. What happens when you all get married and move out? I'll just be on my own!”
"Who said anything about getting married?!” Jeonghan shouts after you but you ignore him.
You're going on this date. Whether they like it or not.
You're an idiot. If you were to look up the word idiot in the dictionary there'd just be a huge fucking picture of you holding a big sign that reads "here's the world’s biggest idiot.”
Why did you think a date would be a good idea? Especially with someone who you've spent a grand total of forty hours talking to. But then when you subtract sleeping, panicking over what to reply and washing weird stains out of Ari's clothes, you'd probably spent closer to about two hours speaking to your date.
And you wish you hadn't.
Seokmin seemed nice enough when you matched with him. He was hot. He had a good job. He was the right age. But he spent the whole night laughing at everything you said.
You're hilarious, or you and Areum think you are anyway, but you literally said "do you want some bread?” And he more or less started rolling around on the floor laughing. You've no idea if it was a nervous habit or whether he was just on really hard drugs that made him think the simplest word was the funniest thing he's ever heard.
Whatever it was, when he dropped you home (around the corner because you didn't want this cackling creep to know where you lived), you vowed to delete tinder off your phone.
On your short walk home, you've prepared yourself for life.
You'll live your life painting, something you already do, but now you're a spinster you'll do it much more dramatically. You'll no longer paint landscapes, which is what you specialise in now. You'll become one of those artists that throws paint at things and then says it shows the bleak end that human civilization is heading for.
And you'll buy a cat. Or a dog. Or maybe a farm.
Jeonghan would probably take Areum, you've proved you can't look after her on your own. Fuck. You need to stop that, you can't start spiralling down that hole again because of this one set back.
Areum can come with you to the farm. You can be that weird mother and daughter that live on the edge of a forest and scare people as they go for hikes. She’d like that.
One thing is for sure, you're done dating. It isn't for you. You'll just have to wait until they've all got married, take the pitying looks from everyone as they see you gradually turn to peak eccentricity and then leave for your farm by the forest.
You take a deep breath before you open the apartment door and then enter the code. Everyone will be in bed, it's pretty late. But it's just knowing that at some point you're going to have to tell them that it was all pointless, that you'd embarrassingly chosen the weirdest man you could to go on a date with.
The apartment is dark other than a lamp they've left on for you and you head straight for the kitchen. You need a glass of wine and you didn't dare drink on your date for fear the laughing idiot made a move you weren't ready for.
The fridge light makes you squint and you grab the wine, wondering whether weird old ladies prefer red or white. It's probably rosé.
The wine glugs as you pour it. And then glugs a bit more as you fill it perilously close to the top.
“Bad night?"
“Fuck!" You spill wine on the kitchen counter, “shit."
“I’ve got it," Wonwoo rushes from his stool and grabs a cloth.
“I didn't know you were there," you shake the wine off your hand and put the bottle back in the fridge.
"Needed a glass of water,”
You just hum and take your glass of wine.
"Night then.”
"Wait,” you stop on your way to your bedroom, "do you not want to talk about it?”
"There's nothing to talk about. It was a date.” You still don't turn to look at him.
"Have I done something to upset you?”
"No.”
"Then why won't you turn around?”
"I'm going to bed.”
"Was he cruel or something?”
"Nope, it was fine."
You hear him sigh but you can't face him. It's fucking embarrassing knowing they're all moving on in life and you're stuck where you are.
“Goodnight," you mumble quietly and rush off to your room.
Wonwoo watches you go. He doesn't understand what's going on or why you've suddenly decided to download tinder. But hopefully, eventually, one of them can figure it out.
It turns out you were wrong. That photo of you in the dictionary with your big sign declaring yourself the world’s biggest idiot is now wrong. You now need a sign that reads “the universe’s biggest idiot” because as you lie on your daughter’s bed, your head pounding and your whole body cringing in horror, you can’t think of a single thing you’ve done that’s made you feel as horrible or as guilty as you do now.
Last night:
“Do you think I need to ring your mom again?
“No,” Jeonghan sighs.
“My mom?”
“_____ seriously she’s only gone for two nights and she’s with all of her grandparents, if anything she won’t even remember we exist.”
“You don’t think she loves us?”
“Why are you always such a whiney drunk?”
“I used to be a horny drunk but look where that got us.”
“I don’t think we’ve done too badly,” Jeonghan smiles as he leans against the kitchen counter with you.
“True,” you knock your beer back and squint into the distance, “do you know any of these people? I swear I only know Wonwoo in that whole crowd.”
“Nope. But Mingyu’s happy and he’s stopped crying because he’s turning thirty so I’ll happily take the loud music and an apartment full of strangers.”
You hum and take another sip of your drink.
“Why didn’t you bring someone?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he smirks at you.
“I haven’t got anyone to bring.” You turn away from him, your eyes drifting to Wonwoo who's trying to leave the little makeshift dance floor before Mingyu makes him dance with him again.
“Me neither.”
“Why do you keep doing that? I know you’re seeing someone, why can’t you just tell me?”
“I’m…..Fuck…..” He looks at the ceiling with worried eyes.
“Do I know her or something?”
“It’s…..It’s not a she.”
If you weren’t four beers in, your brain might not need quite so long to catch up with what he’s just said. But you’ve always been a light weight which means Jeonghan has to wait awkwardly whilst you realise what he’s just said.
“A he?” You turn to him fully, putting your beer down.
“Hm-mm,” He looks down.
“Is he nice to you?”
“What?” He frowns.
“Is he kind?”
“Yes?”
“Good.” You nod, “That’s all that matters.”
“That’s it?”
“Jeonghan, I just want you to be happy. If you’ve realised that happiness is with a man, then that’s great.”
“You’re the first one I’ve told. I’ve wanted to tell you for weeks.” He says like he’s had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I knew you were up to something,” You narrow your eyes at him and poke his chest, “I love you Jeonghan.”
He pulls you in for a hug mumbling an “I love you too” with a roll of his eyes. It’s clear he’s been worrying about telling you, or even anyone, about who he was seeing but why, you don’t know.
“Thank you _____,”
“What for?” You ask into his shoulder.
“Everything. I’ve got the most beautiful little girl and an amazing life. Just. Thank you. For trusting me all those years ago.”
“And I’m the whiney drunk?” You pull back to look at him.
“I guess we both lost our drunk horniness.” He chuckles as you both lean back against the counter with your drinks.
You wait what you hope is an acceptable amount of time before you ask what you really want to know.
“Is he hot?”
“So fucking hot.” He high fives you.
“SHOTS. COME ON YOU TWO!”
“Do we have to?”
“He isn’t going to leave us alone if we don’t.” Jeonghan grumbles and drags you over to the party.
----------------
You’ve had far too much to drink. Everyone has had far too much to drink. Some idiot decided that playing spin the bottle was a great idea and when you, Jeonghan and Wonwoo said absolutely not, you’re not seventeen years old, you got forced into the circle anyway.
The bottle missed you every time thankfully but when it was your turn to spin the bottle of dread, it landed on the one person you didn’t want. Because of course it did.
The bottle landed on Wonwoo and even through your drunken haze you could see he wasn’t impressed. Handily. Right at the second you’d tried to make your way over to him, he got a phone call from the hospital he couldn’t miss.
Because what’s more embarrassing than playing spin the bottle at thirty years old? Playing spin the bottle at thirty years old and the recipient of your impending kiss literally running away from you.
The game finishes and you’re more than a little drunk and you’re more than a little pissed off.
You’re going to find that gorgeous ass hole of man and you’re going to defend your own honour.
You march around the apartment until you finally find him, trying to sort the trash out.
“Wonw-woo,” you stammer, swaying towards him.
“Hey! I wondered where you’d got to!” He smiles.
You want to punch him. How dare he smile at you like he smiled at that woman.
“I’m not the one who ran off!”
“What do you mmmpf,”
He doesn’t have a chance to answer you. You throw yourself at him, your lips smacking into his more like you’re attacking him than kissing him. If you were sober you’d see his wide eyes and arms flailing around so he doesn’t fall. But you don’t because you’re more interested in kissing him with so much force that his lips will be too sore to show that smile you love so much to anyone else other than you. Your hands hold his cheeks as you lose yourself for what feels like an hour but is probably more like a few seconds and then finally release him.
“What the…….”
“I’m gonna be sick,” You manage to get out before you run off to the bathroom.
So that’s how you find yourself here. The day after Mingyu’s thirtieth birthday party, on your daughter’s bed and avoiding the world outside of these four walls. You’ve no idea why you’d decided to spend the day in her room. You woke up, had a shower and then the flashbacks started and you felt yourself folding in on yourself. You weren’t just embarrassed, you were fucking mortified.
It’s probably because her room is literally like being in the clouds. You’d spent weeks painting clouds on the walls and ceiling when she was ready for her own room.
It was relaxing to some extent and it felt like she was near to you, cuddling by your side and telling you about her day. Instead of it just being you in your cave of embarrassment.
The door creaks open and all you can think is that you hope it’s not Wonwoo.
It’s obvious why he didn’t want to kiss anyone. It’s obvious why he pretended he had a phone call. Maybe not obvious to everyone who doesn’t know he’s seeing someone but you did. And in your stupid drunken state you kissed him anyway and you feel fucking terrible. You know he would never be the kind to cheat, he must be feeling fucking awful. He probably hates you and he’d have every reason to.
Such a stupid, selfish thing to do to a man who has only ever shown you and Areum kindness and warmth.
“Hey,” Jeonghan’s head pokes through the door with Mingyu’s head just above it, “can we come in?”
“Sure.” You keep staring at the ceiling with your head on your daughter’s pillow. “Do you have to do that!”
“What?! How else do you want me to lie down?” Mingyu glares down at you as he clambers over you so he’s between you and the wall.
Is nothing sacred? Now you’ve got Mingyu on one side and Jeonghan on the other, all three of you staring at the ceiling on Areum’s single bed.
“This bed isn’t built for three. You're barely on it."
“Well if you’d mope in your own room, we’d have more space wouldn’t we.” Jeonghan scolds you.
“What’s going on?" Mingyu asks softly.
“Nothing."
“_____, please. You've been weird for days. Please just talk to us." Jeonghan reaches for your hand, Mingyu taking your other.
“I'm," you sigh, “I'm scared."
“Of what?"
“Life?"
“Should I call the doctor or something?" Jeonghan rushes to sit up but you make him lie back down.
“It's not that." You think about how to phrase it. “You're all moving on."
“I've been dating for a month or so!"
“And Hyeji is already on a plane home! I actually think we work better in other countries."
“I don't mean like that. I just mean, you're all dating, you're open to dating. And I'm scared of the future. Last time I was on my own with Ari I couldn't be what she needed.”
"You're a great mom!” Mingyu interrupts.
"I am now,”
"You were then.” Jeonghan says bluntly, squeezing your hand.
"I'm just……I'm scared to be on my own when you've all moved on. I'm not saying you won't be there for her,"
“We'll be there for you too. And you can date! You can do whatever you want to!"
“I don't want to. Well I do……what I want isn’t important. I can't have what I want."
They both stay silent. They know what you want. They know who you want.
"I feel like life's moving on and leaving me behind and I don't want to be the reason you all hold yourselves back. I don't want to be the person I was when I left Areum at your door but I don't want you to not be able to move on because I left her at your door."
“Fuck that's a lot of feelings all at once _____." Mingyu mumbles.
“Do you want to know something?"
“Go on," you and Mingyu turn your heads to Jeonghan, him still looking at the ceiling.
“I worried you'd all move on without me. I was having all these feelings about who I was attracted to……"
“He's told me about his hot piece of ass," Mingyu whispers in your ear.
“And I didn't think I'd ever come to terms with being bi."
You squeeze his hand, knowing that's the first time he's probably said that out loud.
“But before that I'd already decided, you all wouldn't get rid of me."
“What do you mean?"
“My parents are building a new luxury complex. And the top floor has three apartments, even bigger than this one. We'll have one each." He says matter of factly.
“And you've just decided that?"
“I mean you can all do what you want but it's there."
“You planned it out? For us?"
“I like our little family. I think it's good for Areum."
“I couldn't face having to tell her that she couldn't see any of you anymore, she has three dads. She proudly tells people she has her daddy, her Wooowoo daddy and Gyugyu daddy. I couldn't bear her not seeing any of you, that's what I've been worrying about. That and how I’d cope."
“Wait, we're not moving yet are we?"
"They're still trying to get planning permits. It'll be a couple of years yet.”
"A couple of years of more of this sounds good.” Mingyu snuggles his head onto your shoulder and you do the same to Jeonghan.
A gentle silence falls, some of the worries eased about what would happen as you all kept growing. And knowing you'd be able to meet people or date or marry or just do whatever you wanted but still near each other, helps more than Jeonghan probably realises.
“Did something happen at the party?" Jeonghan asks softly.
“I think I upset Wonwoo. I think I made him do something that'll hurt someone."
“Who?"
“When I was at the hospital I saw him with the woman he's seeing. I don't know why he didn't just tell us he was seeing someone."
“He is? I don't think he….”
“Yeah. And I've done something that’ll hurt both of them."
"He'll understand, whatever it is.”
"I doubt it.”
"Go see him,” Jeonghan replies.
"He's not here is he?”
"Go see him at work. If it's making you feel this bad, go and say you're sorry. At least then when he gets home from work and Ari comes back from being with her grandparents, there'll be no awkwardness."
“When did you become so good with these things, Kim Mingyu?”
"I finally fucked my girlfriend in real life. It changes a man.”
"Oh my god is that what that noise was?! I thought there was a cat being strangled somewhere!”
You laugh but smack Jeonghan on the chest for being mean, though even Mingyu snorts. He was pretty fucking loud, taking full advantage of there being no Areum around.
"Jeonghan?”
"Yeah?”
"These apartments, do I……”
"Yes you have to pay rent Mingyu.”
The three of you giggle and keep staring at the painted clouds on the ceiling but you know what you've got to do. Just two more minutes of peaceful bliss and you'll do it. You'll man up and take responsibility for your actions.
If only it was as hard to find cardiology as it was to find the pharmacy. Once Mingyu and Jeonghan had told you it'd all be fine for the four thousandth time, you got in the car and seemed to arrive at the hospital way quicker than you thought was possible.
Will he be even more pissed at you because you're disturbing him at work? Will he have already told his girlfriend what happened? Fuck if she's also working today she'll probably have security throw you out of the hospital.
“Can I help you?"
“Oh!" You spin round to find a woman in scrubs sitting at a desk in the centre of the department.
“You look a little lost." She says kindly.
“I'm looking for Won…I-I mean Dr Jeon?"
“Are you a patient? I think he's in surgery at the moment. I could…..”
"_____?”
"Wonwoo?” You look up to find him walking out of some double doors that lead to the operating theatres, pulling his scrub cap off and looking confused.
Fuck. She's with him. She doesn't look pissed, so maybe he hasn't told her yet. Maybe you should? It might sound better coming from another woman? You could explain everything you're feeling and she might not be as pissed. But that's fucking selfish, to expect her to just understand that you've kissed her boyfriend.
“Is Ari ok? What's wrong?" He rushes over to you, all of his colleagues trying to not look interested in who this woman is that clearly knows the hot heart surgeon.
"She's fine. I just needed to talk to you,”
He gestures for you to move a little further away from where his colleagues have congregated.
"Why? What's wrong?"
What's wrong?! He can't be serious.
“Do you think she'd talk to me?"
“Who?"
“Your girlfriend," you mutter under your breath, looking over at the woman who doesn't seem bothered that you're talking to him.
So she must not know then.
"_____ what are you talking about?” He's looking more and more concerned, he must've been stressed all day about it.
"I know she'll have every right to hate me and I know you probably hate me. Fuck I shouldn't have done it, I'll tell her it was all me. I was just upset, I swear I never meant to cause any trouble,”
"What? Wait. Er Dr Kim,” he gets the attention of another doctor by the desk, "I just need to sort something out, could you do the post op checks and then we'll run through what you'll need to do tomorrow when I'm off.”
"No problem boss!”
"Come with me.” He mumbles, making you follow him down a corridor.
Surely he's not not going to tell her what happened. That's not Wonwoo.
He opens a door and gestures for you to walk into what appears to be an on call room and your stomach drops. This is where he tells you he hates you and he wants you to leave the apartment, he'll probably say you're a bad influence on Ari and you shouldn't be around her either.
"Right.” He closes the door. "What are you talking about?”
"I've been worrying all day and I swear I didn't mean to cause you any problems! I was just sad you obviously didn't want to kiss me during spin the bottle but my drunk brain didn't comprehend that of course you didn't want to kiss me. You've got a girlfriend that you're clearly more than happy with. And I suppose I should apologise for telling Mingyu and Jeonghan about her, you were obviously trying to keep it private but I saw you when I came for my appointment, I wasn't spying on you," you rush to say, “I just stopped for a drink when I was looking for the pharmacy and saw you. I left straight away, I promise."
“Why didn't you come over if you saw me while you were here?"
“You said you had plans, I didn't want to interrupt your date."
He blinks at you.
“Is this why you've been weird with me? Because of what you saw."
Curse him for being so clever. Though it doesn't take a doctor to figure out why you crashed out so much.
“Fuck I may as well just be honest." You sigh, “I saw you and it was like everything flashed before me, you all moving on now you're all seeing someone and me just stuck where I am now. Or worse back where I was before I moved in with you all. I got back in the car and downloaded that fucking app and ended up on a date with an absolute weirdo. I actually blame Jeonghan more than anything, he was going on about telling you and what would that have even achieved!"
“I thought you did tell me? You said you had an appointment and asked me for lunch,"
“R-right," you still need to cover up what Jeonghan actually meant, “exactly you said you were busy. You had a date."
“So why just be weird with me? You've been fine with Mingyu and Jeonghan."
You stare at him. How the hell do you get around that?
“Fuuuuckk," you groan with your head in your hands as you take a deep breath. “I like you. I've liked you since about six months after I moved in. I've sat in my bed and cried every time you've been on a date over the years. And last night I took it too far, I saw you clearly fake a call to get out of kissing me during that stupid fucking game and I saw red. I just wanted…. I don't even know what I wanted." You pause, “I wanted you. But you're not mine and now I owe you and her a massive apology. My head's been all over the place and that's no excuse and I've probably ruined your relationship and…."
“_____,"
“....you probably hate me and….”
"_____,”
".....you probably don't even want me near you, I'll move……”
"_____!!!”
You jump when he shouts at you.
“Take a deep breath. Please."
Why is he being nice to you? He should be telling you to fuck off. But you follow his breathing when he takes a deep breath and you feel a little less anxious.
“Thank you," you breathe again, “but you shouldn't be being nice, you should….."
“Will you please shut the fuck up!"
You slam your mouth shut, looking like a deer caught in headlights.
"That woman,”
"I'll apologise to her! I promise!”
"_____.” He grabs your cheeks, "Please. Stop talking. Just shut. Up. And listen to me.”
You nod dumbly, his hands still on your cheeks.
"I don't have a girlfriend. And I haven't been on a date in fucking ages, in fact I think I've had five since you've been fully in our lives and they've all been shit.”
"Then who….."
“Shut up," he whispers, smirking at you like he knows it's physically hurting you to shut your damn mouth, “the woman you saw me with is a student who's been with us for two weeks to learn about a new technique we're trying out. What you saw was an interview for her research paper."
He must see the relief in your eyes because his smirk turns into a small smile.
“I wouldn't go on a date with anyone because I like someone else."
Well fuck. You're certain he must've been able to hear your heart break. Whoever works in the well hidden pharmacy probably heard it.
“Do you want me to tell you about her?"
No. You don't want to hear about her. Why would you want to hear about her?!
And besides. He's told you not to speak and so now he can deal with the consequences of those words.
"You can speak.” He rolls his eyes.
Oh fuck.
"I don't really want to hear it,”
"No?” He steps even closer to you, his hands still holding your cheeks, his thumbs brushing your skin a little.
You shake your head.
"I'll tell you anyway. She's a similar height to you." He smiles softly, “she actually has the same hair colour as you. And really similar eyes. She's funny and kind and so fucking hot."
You hate her.
“And she makes me excited to get out of bed each morning."
Fucking bitch.
“She’s the most talented artist I've ever met."
She's probably a sculptor. They're all hot. Fucking assholes.
"She’s actually really good friends with Mingyu. And she knows Jeonghan better than anyone. And she has the most beautiful daughter, who loves to read murder mysteries and does makeovers on me every Friday night. I'm still actually getting the glitter off me from the last one.”
Well if he wanted all that he could've just….wait. You frown at him.
“Are you saying?"
“I literally couldn't make it more obvious _____," he smiles at you, his thumbs still brushing your cheeks.
"So you're not in love with that woman?!”
"No, I'm in love with someone else.”
"Me?” You point at yourself.
"Yes _____, you.” He chuckles. "Surely Jeonghan and Mingyu told you that me dating someone would be bullshit? They've been telling me to tell you for months. If not years."
“They probably tried," you admit, you did think Mingyu wanted to say something when you were telling them.
"Why didn't you just tell me? Instead of downloading fucking tinder and making me want to strangle whoever you'd been on a date with.”
"Is that why you were in the kitchen?”
"I'd been there two hours.”
"That's a pretty big glass of water.”
"Hm,” he hums, pulling you against him, his arms around your waist, "almost as big as your glass of wine. I would’ve made a bigger deal out of you ignoring me but a massive part of me was just pleased it had clearly gone badly."
“Well thanks!" You scoff.
"You still should've told me.”
"I didn't want to ruin things when you said you didn't feel the same, I couldn't bear it if it affected your relationship with Ari or it ruined our little family. And,” you think about it, "you could've told me y’know!”
"I just have.”
"After several breakdowns on my part.”
"Well I didn't know why you were being weird!”
"At least Jeonghan isn't wasting his time with the apartment complex now I know you don't hate me. Wait.”
"What?” He mumbles, watching you thinking about something.
"He said there were three apartments.”
"Who did?”
"Jeonghan.”
"Can you rewind a bit. What apartments and what complex?”
"Jeonghan’s parents are building a new apartment complex. He said earlier when we were in bed,”
"When you were what?!”
"I was spiralling in Ari’s room and then they joined me and we just sort of lay there and figured life out.”
"I've always wondered what you three do when I'm at actual work.”
"Hey we work! Well. I do. Well I paint. And Mingyu does whatever he does. And I don't really know…..what would we class Jeonghan as? Our house husband?”
"I don't know,” he laughs, putting a stray piece of hair behind your ear and making you shiver a little. "Tell me about how you figured life out in the space of a day please.”
"Oh yeah. Well his parents are building a whole new luxury apartment complex and he's reserved the whole top floor for us. Obviously we'd pay rent,"
“I bet Mingyu was thrilled with that,"
“Oh he's probably still pouting," you dismiss, “but he said there's three apartments. And I didn't think anything of it when he said it but he knew? Not that I'm saying we’re going to live together…”
"We do live together,”
"Oh yeah,” you grin, "but yeah, so he said three. That man is so sneaky.”
“Wait so we're moving?"
“Oh they're not built yet, it'll be a couple of years.”
“I could do a couple more years of this," He holds you closer.
“That's what we said." You smile and finally wrap your arms around him too.
You gaze at him and it feels very like he's about to finally kiss you, his eyes keep flitting down to your lips but that reminds you of something.
“Hold on. If you like me,"
“Love you." He corrects.
“Love me,” you roll your eyes, "I love you too by the way. But if you love me, why did you run away and pretend to have a phone call during spin the bottle?”
"Because, and call me old fashioned, but I'd have quite liked the woman I've been in love with for years to be sober when we had our first kiss. And I didn't want it to be in front of a room full of drunk strangers.”
"Oh.” Your cheeks heat, "I ruined that then.”
"Not really. You just very aggressively kissed my chin last night.”
"Well you could've told me that! I've been worrying about being a homewrecker all day!”
"How could I tell you when I didn't know what you've been thinking!”
You narrow your eyes at him.
"Very clever Dr Jeon.”
"Don't do that.” He mutters.
"What?”
"Call me Dr Jeon."
“Don't people call you that all the time?"
“They do," he holds you a little closer again, “but it sounds different when you say it. Makes me feel like I've got all the power."
“Is that right?" You quirk your brow at him.
“Mm,"
His lips are so close you can feel his breath, fuck it's actually happening.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
"Fuck,” he pulls his phone from his pocket and checks it, "I've got to go, the shifts ending and I need to do hand over. I'll be like twenty minutes? I'm off work tomorrow so I need to do handover to the night team and my team who’re in tomorrow.”
"It's fine,” you smile, but he's still holding you.
"Did you drive here?”
"Yeah,”
"I didn't. I got a cab. I know I only had two drinks but I didn't want to take the risk and it was so early when I left for work. Wait for me? And we’ll go home together?”
"Sounds good.”
"I really want to kiss you,” he glances at your lips again, "but if I start I won't want to stop.”
"Then go, the sooner you're done, the sooner we can go. It works quite well actually, I need to find the pharmacy.”
“Still?"
“Well I was trying to not cry when I left the other day."
"It's near the entrance.”
"What?! I walked around this damn hospital hundreds of times the other day!”
“They’re probably closed now," he checks his watch.
“How can a hospital pharmacy close? Do people not need things all the time?"
“They do," he strokes your cheek again, “but it's separate for inpatients. What is it you need?"
“Oh," you search your pockets, these are the same jeans from the other day you threw on, “a-ha! This," you hand it to him.
“Er," he checks the prescription, “I'll get one of the nurses to get it. He owes me a favour for covering for him doing something completely unsanitary in here last week."
You grimace at the dingy bed in the corner. The horrors that bed must've seen.
“I'll wait in the car then.” You kiss his cheek and try not to smile at how it flusters him.
"Ok.”
But he doesn't move, he just gazes at you, his fingers drawing patterns on your back.
“Go," you shew him off you, “go be an important doctor and I'll be waiting in the car."
“Promise?" He opens the door and you follow him out.
“I promise." You kiss his other cheek but this time he's ready for you and he kisses you back on your cheek straight away.
“Bye then," he whispers, kissing the other.
“Bye." You grin and turn to head out, turning left off the corridor.
“_____? Other way!"
He smiles as you reappear sheepishly.
“I'll be in the car,” you point and head in the right direction.
"I'll be as quick as I can!” He shouts after you and heads back to work.
You more or less skip to the car, a smile plastered on your face and your stomach full of butterflies.
You intend to do two things when you get home. One, kiss Wonwoo until your lips are chapped. And two, kill Mingyu and Jeonghan for clearly knowing a lot more than they were letting on.
"Where are you two going?”
"Hello!” Jeonghan replies looking like him and Mingyu have been caught doing something they absolutely shouldn’t be doing.
"Fancy seeing you here!"
“Mingyu. We live here. Where are you going?" You refuse to move out of the way of the elevator, Wonwoo looking pretty sheepish too at the side of you.
"We've decided we can't go on without seeing our daughter. So we're going to see her.”
"You're driving two hundred miles to the coast to see Areum when she'll be home tomorrow afternoon?”
"Y-yes.” They look at each other.
"You told me I was being ridiculous last night when I said we needed to keep checking on her.”
"Oh y’know, things change.” Jeonghan shrugs.
"Jeonghan.” You step closer to him, narrowing your eyes, "You're willingly travelling all that way, to arrive really late at night when Areum will already be asleep to spend a few hours with her and your parents and my parents,”
"Wonwoo’s are there too! Mine couldn't go because they……" Mingyu's words trail off when you all glare at him.
"What's the point?”
He glances at Wonwoo who's still looking more than a little awkward.
"Oh I can't lie to her Wonwoo, she knows all my tells,” he gives up. "He rang, told us to fuck off for the night.” He points at Wonwoo. "We're going to stay at my parents’ while they're not there.”
"When did you do that?” You frown at Wonwoo.
"As I was walking to your car. I just thought we needed some space before Ari comes back,”
"Space.” Mingyu snickers.
"Yes Mingyu space. It's been a bit of a mad day." Wonwoo's stern look stops Mingyu's smugness.
“We'll be going then," Jeonghan barges past you, dragging Mingyu along with him.
“Don't have too much fun." Mingyu wiggles his eyebrows at you.
“Idiot." You say under your breath, you and Wonwoo looking at them in the elevator.
The doors start to close.
“_____!" Jeonghan says quickly before the door closes, “don't forget to use protection!" You hear them both fall about laughing as they disappear completely.
Silence. Clearly Wonwoo was hoping they'd already be gone before you got home.
“I'm sorry," he groans, scratching his neck, “I just thought we needed to talk or just spend some time together? Without having to be quiet or having those two just listening to everything we say."
“Wonwoo," you sigh, “I'm not annoyed or anything. It's just we've only just confessed and I don't want all our parents asking questions, because I know those two won't be able to keep their mouths shut, and confusing Ari."
“I've already told them all. Check the group chat. I'm sorry I couldn't keep it in, I've just waited so long and I thought it's one less thing for you to worry about."
Your eyebrows knit together as you pull your phone out.
Wonwoo: Just so we're all on the same page. Me and _____ are in a relationship. I'll be taking no questions and please don't tell Areum yet. Enjoy your break, see you when you're back.
Well. Putting that in the group chat you have with all your parents and Mingyu and Jeonghan is certainly one way to tell them all.
“Very efficient." You chuckle. “Wait. Your mom says it's about time? Mine says it's only taken us four years? Even Jeonghan's mom is saying she knew. My dad owes Mingyu's dad money, they had a bet?! They all knew?!"
“It appears the only two that didn't know, is us." He smiles.
"Typical.” You scoff.
"You're not annoyed with me for telling them to fuck off?”
"A whole night without the troublesome twosome? I'm ecstatic.”
“Did you eat yet?"
“No. But that's why you sent them away? To eat?" You smirk, stepping closer to him.
“Don't start something you can't finish _____."
“Who says I can't finish it?"
“You weren’t lying,” you smile as Wonwoo grabs your t-shirt and pulls your lips back to his.
The second you uttered those fated words near the elevator, his lips were on yours and you’d barely detached yourselves from each other to breathe let alone check where you were going. Your bedroom is on the third floor of the penthouse and you’re certain both of you will have shins covered in bruises from how many times you bumped into shit on your way up here. Yes, you could've just stopped kissing. But that’s not an option. Not now you know how fucking good he is at it.
“Wait what? You think I’m lying about loving you?”
“No,” you giggle, kissing his lips one more time, “I meant you weren’t lying about not being able to stop once you’ve started.”
He just rolls his eyes and drags you back to his perfect lips, backing you towards your bed but he bangs into your bedside table as he does it.
“For fucks sake!” he switches your lamp on, ready to give you a stern talking to for laughing at him but he spots something that causes him to do a double take.
“No!!” You launch forward but it’s too late, he’s already grabbed it.
“What’s this?” He murmurs, inspecting what’s in his hand.
“What does it look like?” You mumble, trying to grab it, “give it to me Wonwoo.”
“Do you always just leave your dildos about the place?”
“I don’t have dildos, I have a dildo.”
“So if I open this draw I won’t find like ten more sex toys?” he raises his brow at you.
“No,” you fold your arms, “I mean sure there’s a clit sucker thing but what do you want me to do?! It’s not illegal! It’s not……”
He fists your t-shirt and pulls you flush against him.
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” He smirks as he grips your chin and moves your head to the side, “just thinking of all the things we could do. May as well make you well and truly mine whilst I can, once everyone is back it’ll be sneaking around and trying to be quiet. Something you’re famously not good at.” He hisses in your ear.
“Are you saying I talk too much?”
“Oh baby you never shut the fuck up.” He smiles wickedly. “I do have some ideas of how to make you shut up though. Would you be interested in hearing them?”
You clench your thighs together. You always got the feeling that he was like this in the bedroom. You’d never heard him, he’d never brought anyone home at all. But he’s just too sweet and caring in everyday life to not be a fucking freak in the bedroom.
“I might be.” You try to say like you’re not ready to let him do whatever the fuck he wants.
“Is this all ok?”
He makes sure you look at him properly, his kind eyes showing you he doesn’t want to do anything you’re not ready for or comfortable with.
“Yeah,” You smile, kissing him again, “I’ve thought about this for so long. Do whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?”
You pause.
“No anal. At least not now.” You think about it for a minute, “Or slapping. And I haven’t got any condoms but I am on birth control so if you’re clean, I’m fine with going raw.”
“Really? I thought you…….”
“You thought I’d be scared of getting pregnant? I got pregnant because we were both fucking idiots. I’m not going to do that again. Not yet anyway.”
His face softens when he realises that you’re implying you want everything you can with him. Just not right now.
“I really do love you y’know.” He smiles, kissing your forehead. “But,” he stands back from you. “Kneel down.”
“What?”
“Did I stutter? Kneel down.”
“Should I?” You look down at your clothes.
“Keep them on, until I’ve moulded your throat to the shape of my dick at least.”
“Fuck.” You fall to your knees in wonder, Wonwoo trying not to smile at how quickly you’ve submitted to him.
He places the dildo down on the bed side table, the glint of something wicked in his eyes and slowly undresses in front of you.
Your eyes follow every moment, every inch of skin being uncovered that you've craved to touch for so long. He's big, he always has been but recently he seems to have grown even bigger, even stronger. You've always got the impression that if you were wrapped in his arms, nothing bad in the world or in your head could get you.
His boxers are the last to go and the second they're off his dick slaps against his abdomen.
Well it turns out all of him is big then. Fuck he's going to ruin you and you're going to enjoy every last second of it.
He crouches down, tucking his finger under your chin and makes you look at him.
“For someone who talks so much you've really hurt me these past few days _____. Ignoring me, making me feel like I've done something wrong," he sighs. “I think… I think I need some reassurance. That'll you treat me well, that you'll use your pretty little mouth properly in the future. Do you want to show me, baby? Show me just how well your mouth works?"
You frown in confusion before he reaches just a little behind where you're kneeling and brings the dildo back into view.
“Show me."
Jesus.
He's still crouching down to you, completely naked and dick rock hard whilst you're kneeling on the floor fully clothed and clearly nothing more than a source of entertainment to him.
He brings the silicone tip closer to you and every part of you melts for the man in front of you. Fully ready to give him whatever he wants.
Making sure you look him in the eye, yours burning into his, you let a little spit drip from your mouth. Just enough to wet the tip as it slowly falls from your mouth. His eyes falter a little like he didn't think you'd match his freak quite as much.
But that's where he's wrong.
You've spent night after night thinking of the most obscene fantasies your brain could conjure.
You let your tongue trace around where the hole would be, flicking it a little showing him exactly how good you'll be for him.
Your lips wrap around the tip, imagining it's his and your eyes finally leave his to look at his dick. Your eyebrows knit together, a look of concentration on your face as you focus on how he's already dribbling a little precum. You start to bob your head as he holds it for you, his eyes transfixed by the way you're sucking the dildo but clearly imagining it's him.
You hum around it, desperate to show him just how much you want him, weirdly even wanting to make him proud of the way you're performing for him.
“You're doing so well," he murmurs, his free hand coming to hold your cheek as you keep bobbing on the dildo.
He kneels on the floor in front of you but sitting up on his knees so he's taller than you, giving you an even better view of him and making you moan around the dildo.
“Awww baby, are you desperate?"
You nod as best you can, hoping this means he'll let you near him.
“Yeah?" His smile turns wicked, “prove it for me."
And he shoves the dildo further into your mouth making you gag on it. Fuck this is more than you could’ve imagined and he's not even touched you. You're not even undressed and you feel like he's wrecked you.
Wonwoo starts fucking the dildo in and out of your mouth, a smirk on his face as he watches you gag around it, the tears and drool only making the sight even prettier for him. And yet his thumb strokes your cheek like it did when he was telling you he loved you earlier, nothing but gentleness in the loving touch.
"Good girl _____, you're doing so well. You look so pretty like this, so needy for me,"
You move your head even quicker, desperately sucking the dildo, him meeting your movements and making your gag occasionally.
“I'm so sorry _____. If I'd have known you were up here, fucking yourself with this," he shoves it down your throat and your eyes roll back as you choke, "I'd have done something sooner, ruined you so much sooner."
His gentle voice mixed with him fucking your throat with the dildo has you in a space you've never been in before but fuck you love it.
It's when he spots you wiggling a little bit, desperately trying to relieve some of the tension between your legs, that he realises just how much he needs to feel you. You've put on a pretty little show for him but he’s dreamt about your lips wrapped around him for so long and you're clearly so ready for him.
His hand that was on your cheek moves to your hair. He isn't overly harsh with it, he doesn't want to hurt you, but he gets your hair in a half assed ponytail as he stands up. Wonwoo yanks you off the dildo, your lips swollen and chin wet and he was going to check in with you but you lunge forward and he doesn't stop you. He's not even sure if he could.
You don't even ease him into it, just adjust your mouth because he's bigger than your dildo and go to town. Your tongue runs flat along the bottom of him whilst you bob your head frantically, your hands on his thighs steadying you because of how desperately you're fucking your face onto his dick.
“Fucking hell," he throws his head back, “I told you to show me on your fucking dildo," he groans, his hips twitching when you swirl your tongue around his tip and go back to your bobbing, “you didn't show me shit. Fuck why are you so good at that?"
Oh he's not seen anything yet, of course you weren't going to really go to town on a fucking dildo.
You bob a little more, your cheeks hollowed and lips tight around him. Just a couple more bobs and then you fully take him in your mouth. Well your throat. And then swallow around him.
The whine Wonwoo lets out above you should've been recorded. Then you could listen to it on nights when he's at work and you need him. Because just that one whine could get you off again and again.
"Right. No. Get off,” he tries to move you back but you send a glare his way and flick his tip defiantly.
"_____,” he warns, "Get. Off.”
You roll your eyes and take his dick out of your mouth.
"What?!”
He pauses for a second, something clicking in his mind and he finally realises this is actually happening. You're actually kneeling in front of him, you drool on your t-shirt and cheeks damp from your tears.
“I'm not about to cum in your mouth for our first time having sex."
“Then cum wherever you want," you say like it's obvious, “but why have you stopped me? Come back here,” you try to crawl forward.
"No.” He crouches down in front of you again, a weirdly proud smile on his lips. "Get on the bed.”
You clamber up, not really caring how needy you look. You are needy for him. Just the same way he is for you.
“Wait," you huff as you flop down on your bed, leaning on your elbows as he watches you fondly, “should I take these off?" You gesture to your clothes.
“I'll do it," he shrugs, crawling up the bed to you, looking like an overly hot predator.
"Oh I could get used to this.” You lie back.
"Good.” He hovers over you, his thumb wiping your lip, "I'm gonna treat you so well _____. We've spent so long avoiding what was clearly so obvious, if you said you wanted the moon I'd try to find a way to get it for you.”
You smile up at him, the man who you're fairly certain is the love of your life and realise you've never been happier.
His lips linger on yours one last time before they move slowly down your neck, feather light kisses heating every patch of skin they touch.
One of his hands rests by your head, the other stroking your waist as his lips travel over your cloth covered breasts, mumbling into your t-shirt the occasional “so pretty" and “I'm so lucky."
His hand that was on your waist moves to shimmy under your t-shirt and he must feel you tense up.
You hadn't even been worrying about it. It simply never occurred to you. It didn't need to occur to you.
"What's wrong?” He asks straight away, a flash of worry on his handsome features, his hand paused.
"I haven't been,” you swallow, a whole new bunch of worries now fogging your brain, "I haven't been naked in front of anyone since I had Areum. I didn't even realise I was worried about it until you moved your hand.”
"No one?”
"Do you think I've been sneaking men up here?”
"No,” he smiles, "I just wasn't sure….."
"The last time was when I got pregnant with Areum."
“I swear it doesn't bother me," he rushes to say, “I know you and Jeonghan were nothing serious. I just wasn't sure." He shrugs, stroking your hair now he's moved his hand.
"I'm used to my body. And I don't hate my body. It just hit me that it looks different from the last time someone else saw me naked.”
"I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met,” he smiles when you fluster a little, "but if you want to wait and stop, we can do.”
"I don't want to stop.” You say much too quickly and make him laugh.
"Then tell me how you want this to go baby.”
"I've told you, whatever you want.” You move his hair off his forehead, "I just got in my own head for a second. I'm good now.”
"You're sure?”
"So sure." You peck his lips.
He looks at you for a couple more seconds, just to double check and then goes back to his little kisses all over your breasts through your t-shirt. His hand moves slowly back under it so his finger tips can wander over your stomach and along your waist.
Wonwoo glances up at you one last time and then lifts your t-shirt. You sit up so he can take it off easier and before you can even lay back down properly he kisses you again so you don't have any chance to feel self conscious. His tongue is messy as it explores your mouth and your fingers bury in his hair to hold him closer to you, losing yourself in the taste of him.
His hand slips under your back, his tongue still dancing with yours, and unclasps your bra. Huh, turns out he is really good with his hands. Your bra is thrown on the floor with your t-shirt and his lips go travelling again.
You watch as his eyes take you in every time his lips travel lower down your body. Teasing kisses are dotted over your tits and on your nipples, making you squirm when you think he's going to take one into his mouth. But he doesn't, he just shows you with his lips how much he loves you.
He kisses down your stomach and stops when his lips meet your jeans.
“You're perfect _____." His eyes run all over your body, marvelling at you beneath him. “I'm so lucky."
He kneels between your legs and you prop yourself on your elbows.
“Can I?" He plays with the button on your jeans.
You don't answer with words, just lift your ass up so he can take them off.
“Fuck." He stares down when he's thrown your jeans on the floor and spots just how wrecked your panties are.
“What?"
“You're fucking dripping."
His fingers trace over your pantie clad pussy making you shiver. The touch is hardly there and yet drives you crazy.
“So wet," he says in wonder, “and it's all mine isn't it ____? It's all for me?" He pulls the drenched cloth away from your aching pussy with his finger and lets them snap back, the sting making you startle.
“Answer me _____," he presses two fingers onto your soaked mound and if you didn't have your underwear on, they'd be between your folds, exactly where you want them.
“All yours," you nod desperately, “it's just for you."
“Yeah?" He says darkly, “do you get this wet when you're up here using this?" He holds up the dildo.
Where the fuck had he hidden that?!
"I bet you're fucking dripping aren't you?” He presses the tip to you, "fucking yourself with this night after night. What do you think of, baby?”
The pressure of the tip is exactly on your clit, it would just take the tiniest movement and you'd get some sweet relief.
“Who," he presses a tiny bit harder, it doesn't hurt but fuck does it make you twitch from the added friction, “do you think of?"
“You." You whisper. “Always you. Only you."
“What a waste of fucking time." He turns the dildo so it presses harder onto your clit and you throw your head back in pleasure. “I could've been wrecking this pretty pussy every night."
“Wonwoo, please just do something!"
You're all for foreplay. You're all for teasing. But you've not had sex in five fucking years, surely he could show you some reprieve.
"What's the rush? We've got all night.” He muses as he runs the dildo along your soaked underwear.
"Wonwoo.” You give him a stern look, "I haven't had sex in fucking years. If you don't do something soon I might actually burst into tears. Just fuck me!” You whine.
"I have always dreamt of you crying my name.”
You look at him in horror. What a fucking tease.
"Give me my dildo.” You demand and hold your hand out.
"No.” He looks at your hand in disgust.
Right then. You're not above making him do something.
"What are you doing?” He mumbles as you flail around, him not moving from between your legs making it difficult as you wrestle your panties off.
"Look,” you lie back, two fingers running through your drenched folds, trying to not moan at the feeling, and hold them up to him, "do something. Or I'll finish myself off.”
He hasn't heard a single word you've just said to him. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw your pussy and he nearly fainted when you ran your fucking fingers through it. You're moaning at him because you've not had sex in five years. He hasn't had sex since you moved in here. You cannot just tempt him like that.
"Hey!” But he ignores you, grabs your hand and shoves your fingers in this mouth, licking and sucking your essence, his eyes closing in delight at the taste.
Something takes over him and before you know it your knees are bent and near your chest and he's holding your ankles, the perfect view of your pussy.
You expected a lot of things, maybe sloppy romance or tentative touches for your first time. You did not expect him to go with fucking mating press after him making you choke on your own dildo. Not that you're complaining. You once had a dream where you were literally sitting upside down in his lap whilst he ate you out. Luckily, dream you is clearly an acrobat.
"Is this what you wanted?” He glares at you.
"Yes,” you whisper, eyes on his dick.
"So selfish,” he mutters, "hold your legs.”
You do as he says straight away, your hands holding the backs of your thighs, your pussy dripping in front of him.
"Didn't even get a chance to play with it a little bit,”
"I'm not one of your computer games.” You glare between your legs.
"Shut up,” he flicks your clit, "now,” he lines himself up with you, "ready? You're sure about this?”
"So sure. Just do something Wonwoo.” You whine.
He holds one of your ankles, just his tip against your hole makes your breath hitch. He spares you one last glance and then his tip pushes in, stretching you open deliciously and making you both moan at the feeling.
He’s gentle, his hips rocking, gradually feeding you more and more of his dick and your walls feeling fuller than you probably ever have. The stretch burns just right and finally having him like this feels like you're exactly where you should be. It was always meant to be him, that's the reason it feels so fucking good already and he's not even fucking you yet.
"Shit.” He hisses when he's fully bottomed out, "you feel incredible baby. So perfect, fuck it's like you were made just for me.”
You don't answer, you're just basking in how fucking full you feel.
"Can I move?"
“Please," you manage to croak out.
Wonwoo puts his weight on you, allowing you to wrap your arms around his back instead of holding your legs and rests his hands either side of your head.
"I love you.”
"I love you t…..shit!"
He doesn’t even let you fucking finish saying it before he pulls out just to the tip and slams back into you, deeper than you're certain anyone has ever gotten and makes you throw your head back on the pillow in pleasure.
The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping and your drooling cunt being pounded by the man of your dreams. Your finger nails dimple his back with little crescent moons, not that he’ll need anything to remind him of tonight. This is everything he's been waiting for, it'll be etched onto his brain how fucking good it felt to finally feel you and be close to, until his dying breath.
You feel like you can't breathe. His weight is on top of you, you're more or less folded in half and he’s fucking you so hard it's a wonder you've not smacked your head on the headboard. But you wouldn't have it any other way because if anything, the lack of breath only adds to how insane you feel right now.
His dick is bullying its way into your warm willing walls, he's so deep you're certain he's crashing into your cervix and all you can do is hold onto him and enjoy the ride.
“You feel so good," he groans when he hits a squishy spot inside you that drives you both wild.
“You too," you whisper, trying to hold him even closer to you.
“You're a fucking goddess baby. And you're mine, all fucking mine,” He moans when you clench around his perfect dick.
"Y-you’re,” you try to get out but you're already so close to cumming, "m-mine too,”
“Yeah? Gonna cum around my dick baby? Let me feel how good I'm making you feel?"
“Hm-mm,"
He moves one of his hands from beside your head, his dick still slamming but when two fingers drift down to your clit and rubs tight little circles on your bundle of nerves, you completely lose it.
“Fuckfuckfuck," you cry, your hole clenching repeatedly around him.
Your whole pussy is quivering, his dick dragging against your walls deliciously and his magic fingers drawing perfect little patterns on your clit. What was it he said? I'm good with my hands? He really wasn't lying, his fingers somehow know exactly how to tease your clit just right.
Just one more thrust and you cry out, your whole body vibrating beneath him and hole contracting around his dick again and again. You're not sure you've ever cum so hard in your life. The weight of Wonwoo on top of you and the way he looks like he's completely lost in the feeling of you cumming for him only drives you on even more. You can’t move but you don't need to, Wonwoo doesn't stop fucking you, making sure you ride your orgasm out for as long as possible, revelling in the way you feel around him.
“Wonwoo," you shakily breath out, “cum. Please cum inside me, fill me up, I," you sigh, still shaking from the end of your orgasm, “wanna feel you cum in me."
He lets out a deep, guttural growl, your words being the tipping point for him as his body stills on top of you for a second before he keeps fucking into you. Fucking his cum into you.
"Fuck I love you _____,” his hips keep sloppily fucking into you and he moans when you clench a little, "I love you so fucking much.”
"I love you too,” you say softly, your hands gliding up his back to hold him close to you so you can whisper in his ear, "so, so much Wonwoo.”
His hips gradually slow, your fingers deciding to draw patterns along his sweaty, marked back, hoping to soothe his heavy breathing and hold him as close to you as possible.
Wonwoo raises his head to look at you, his cheeks flushed and pupils blown out, but he looks at you with so much fondness and so much love you feel like doing a little happy cry.
“Are you ok?" He asks quietly, helping you move your legs and smiling as your waggle your feet now they're free.
“I am," you hold his cheeks, “I love you."
The kiss on his lips is sweet and filled with promise.
“I love you too. Can I," he moves back, taking his softening dick out of you.
His eyes widen as he sits back, watching his cum drip out of you.
“Fuck," he whispers in awe as his fingers move to pick up a little bit of it and stuff it back in.
“Don't giggle," you chastise him when he chuckles a little at your thighs twitching, “I'm sensitive."
“I fucked you that well?" He asks, keeping his eyes on your cum filled hole as he moves to lie next to you.
“I don't think I've ever felt like that…..don't look so smug!" You tap his chest when he looks more than pleased with himself.
“What?!" He pulls you into his chest, your leg hooking over his hip, “not everyday you hear that from the woman you love."
“That makes me feel all tingly," you murmur into his chest, his strong arms wrapped around you.
“What does? That I luuurve you," he squeezes you and then squeezes you again just to hear the laugh he loves so much.
"Yes.” You giggle.
He holds you, kissing your head occasionally, both of you basking in the afterglow of what's just gone down.
“_____?"
“Hmm?"
“Just so you know. I'm all in. I want whatever you want, I just want to be with you."
“Me too."
You think for a minute, wondering how to bring up the last thing that's been worrying you. You only thought about it on the drive home but now all your horniness has been satiated, you need to ask him.
“This doesn't change anything does it? I mean with Ari and the guys? Like you're all still…..I don't know how to put it. Equal? Like you don't think you trump Mingyu because…..”
"Never.” He cuts you off, "what we have works. She's our daughter, she always will be. I don't feel any different in terms of our family _____. The only thing that changes is my relationship with you. They're my best friends, we all love her the same and you're my girlfriend.”
"I just wanted to check,” you kiss his chest and he holds you a little closer.
"I'm a bit worried about whether she'll think differently of me.” He murmurs.
“Ari?" You prop yourself on your elbow.
“Hm," he nods, “what if when we finally tell her, she decides she doesn't want me near you? She doesn't want her mommy to have a boyfriend or for that boyfriend to be me."
“Are you joking?"
“No! Like what if she hates me for holding your hand or something. That little girl dotes on you, she's never seen you with a man. What if she decides to wage war on me!"
"You're talking about the same little girl that pretended to operate on her dolls with you when she was three because she said she wants to be a doctor like her daddy woowoo…”
"But…"
“The same little girl who doesn't let anyone do her hair other than you. I did it the other day when I was upset with you and she spent the entire drive home after school telling me how she felt like her hair was falling out all day because you hadn't done it."
“That's not the…."
“The same little girl," you sit up and cross your legs, him following and holding your hands, “who has spent her whole life being treated like a princess by three of the best men this world has to offer. She could never hate any of you. And we don't need to tell her quickly, we can take our time. Figure out how we work before we do anything else."
“So you don't think she'll stop reading with me on Sundays?"
“I think the only time she'll do that is when you both finally run out of books. She loves you Wonwoo," you stroke his cheek, “so do the guys. But none of them love you as much as me.” You smile proudly, kissing him softly.
"It's gonna feel like we're teenagers sneaking around,” he pulls you to sit between his legs with his back against the headboard.
"Yeah and there's spies on both floors. Areum's up here and the guys are near you downstairs.”
"Guess we'll have to get really good at shower sex,” he mumbles into your shoulder, his fingers tracing hearts on your skin.
"Or maybe,” you look back at him, "car sex.”
"Absolutely not. Mingyu told me a horror story about a handbrake and rectal bleeding once. That's not happening.”
"He disgusts me sometimes.”
"Can I stay in here tonight?” He whispers in your ear before kissing just beneath it.
"Oh now I've got you, I'm not letting you go.”
“OH LOOK JEONGHAN WE ARE HOME,"
“YES, IT IS NICE TO BE HOME."
They have to be the most ridiculous pair of people you've ever met in your life.
“WE ARE WALKING INTO THE APARTMENT NOW."
“IF THERE WAS SOMETHING WE SHOULDN'T BE SEEING I HOPE IT IS FINISHED NOW."
“What the fuck are you two doing?" Wonwoo asks as he reaches the bottom of the stairs, glancing at you on the sofa.
"Oh.” They both come to a stop. "We thought you'd be doing something disgusting.”
"No, we've decided to just be friends.”
"WHAT?!”
You fall back on the sofa laughing, Wonwoo watching you happily.
"I hope she's joking.” Mingyu points at you.
"She definitely wasn't calling me her friend half an hour ago.”
"Wonwoo!” You scold, sitting up again.
"Oh my ears!” Jeonghan walks to the kitchen, covering his ears.
“When’s Areum back?" Mingyu throws himself on the sofa next to you before Wonwoo can sit down, sending him a middle finger.
“In about twenty minutes. Hey Jeonghan," you holler back to the kitchen, “did you have anything planned for dinner? Because your mom promised Ari pizza if she got dressed when they told her to."
“Bribing kids," Mingyu shakes his head in disgust.
“Yeah because pretending to cry to get them to do what you want is so much better. Move.” Wonwoo stands in front of you and Mingyu.
You glance at Mingyu and then turn back to Wonwoo, pretending to not know what's annoying him.
"Me?” Mingyu points to himself, pretending to be a little shocked.
"Obviously.”
"Why? Do you want to sit with your girlfriend?”
"I'll sit on you.”
"Is that a promise?” He smirks at Wonwoo.
You stand up, shove Wonwoo down onto the sofa and then throw yourself on his lap. Sure he groans at the shock but you'll be damned if Mingyu upsets your boyfriend.
"Oh for god's sake. There's two other sofas!”
"Then go sit on one,” you flick Mingyu’s forehead as Wonwoo's arms wrap around you.
"Wait, hold on!” Jeonghan rushes over to you all and sits on Mingyu.
"Dude there's other places to sit.”
"We need a family meeting.”
"The head of the family isn't here.” You point out.
This must look ridiculous, you and Jeonghan sitting on Wonwoo and Mingyu's laps facing each other.
"She's right.” Mingyu picks a rogue thread off Jeonghan's top.
"I think we need to get this sorted before she's home.”
Your stomach drops a bit and Wonwoo takes his arms from around you, settling on a gentle hand on the small of your back.
"Jeonghan…" you try to start but he holds a hand up to stop you.
“When you trusted us with Areum, we all took care of her. You two," he glances at Mingyu and Wonwoo, “didn't hesitate to help me. To help _____. I know we've asked you a few times over the years whether you still wanted to be in this and you've always shot us down saying it was what you wanted. But I just want you to know, that it meant a lot. It means a lot. You care for Areum like she's your own, she's surrounded by love and not just because of me and _____ but because of you two, even your parents treat her like a family member."
You all stare at him, the fact he's sitting on Mingyu’s lap not even looking entertaining anymore.
“Our stupidity brought Areum into this world." He smiles a little at you. “But I'm so pleased we were stupid back then. She is the most precious thing to me and I thank the universe everyday that you trusted me enough that day when you needed help. You're the best mom in the world _____,”
You sniffle, Wonwoo rubbing the small of your back.
"And I know you. It probably won't be better than anyone soon,” he smiles down at Wonwoo, "but I know you and know you'll be worrying somewhere in there,” he taps the side of your head with his finger and makes you laugh, "that I'll see you differently or I'll be annoyed or angry or something but I want you both to know, I have been waiting for you both to realise you loved each other. And I still feel the same as I did before yesterday. I love that you're part of Ari’s life Wonwoo, I love that there's little quirks in her personality that come from you. That come from all four of us. She's a little mini version of all of us and I love that. It may not be normal to everyone but it's normal to us. So. You didn't need my blessing or anything. But just know that I love you both and I know me and Mingyu will joke around about it but don't feel the need to not be yourselves. Because I can't wait to see what you become."
“Jeonghan," you sniffle and pull him into a hug, Wonwoo and Mingyu trying to steady you both what with you both still being on their laps.
“I would threaten you and tell you not to hurt her," he wipes a tear from his cheek when he pulls back, “but I know you won't."
“I won’t," Wonwoo says softly, his arms finally wrapping around you again.
“We er," you wipe your eyes, “we said last night that we'd wait a while to tell Areum. Figure how we’re us before we do it."
“Right. Enough emotions," Jeonghan slaps his legs and stands up, “the boss’ll be back soon. Mingyu you said you needed to edit something. If you do it now then we can all eat the pizza together."
“Oh right yeah," he rushes to stand up. “I'm pleased for you," he ruffles Wonwoo’s hair and kisses the side of your head before he jogs up the stairs.
“I've got really great sister husbands." Wonwoo beams at you as you laugh at him.
“Would it not be brother husbands?" You ponder, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Whatever it is, they're really great."
“So great." You smile and place a gentle kiss on his lips.
“Happy?"
“More than I've ever been."
"MOOOOMMMMMY I’M HOOOME!”
"Shit!” Wonwoo basically throws you off him before Areum and three sets of grandparents appear in the living room.
“I've been reading a new book."
“Don't eat with your mouth full of food," Mingyu says and Ari very dramatically stops talking to finish what she's eating, all four of you waiting to hear what she's going to say.
If this is another Agatha Christie then you're going to really need a stern word with Wonwoo. You're all for them reading together. She won't even need to learn to read at school because Wonwoo’s been reading her full novels since she was a baby. She just sort of knew how to read and started reading full on tomes. But she's going to be reading Great Expectations before she's even in double digits, you're going to run out of books at this rate.
“Finished.” She shows Mingyu her mouth and he recoils in disgust.
"What's your book honey?”
"Cinderalla,”
"An age appropriate book?” You mumble, smiling sarcastically at Wonwoo’s glare he sends your way.
"Did you like it?”
"It’s a bit boring. I don't know why she needed a prince, she could've just locked her step mommy away and stolen all the jewellery.”
The three of you turn to Wonwoo.
"What?” He says defensively, taking a bite of his pizza. "That's not an Agatha Christie.”
"It is,” Areum corrects him happily. “And Gyugyu said you shouldn't talk with your mouth full of food."
He stops chewing for a second in shock, the three of you trying not to laugh at him being told off by a four year old.
"What about Cinderalla Ari?” Wonwoo ignores all your very pointed looks.
"Well the prince,” she wriggles in her seat to get comfy and tell you all about her book, "is really nice to Cinderella even though she looks a bit boring at the start he does all of these nice things for her like finds her shoe and then she's really happy and he keeps being nice to her and then they live happily ever after.”
“Did you enjoy it then?" Hoping this new found interest in fairy tales might draw her away from Poirot.
“Not really. But I was thinking."
Oh god.
“What about honeybun?" Jeonghan asks, giving her another slice of pizza.
“Well Woowoo does really nice things for mommy and he's always finding things she's lost and even when she looks like a scarecrow when she's just woken up and he's grumpy because he's woken up late he still smiles when he sees mommy and you and Gyugyu don't do that and so I think Woowoo probably makes mommy as happy as the prince because he does nice things for her and makes her happy and I think" she takes a deep breath from her rambling, “that they will live happily ever after."
All four of you gawk at her, not that she cares, she's too busy taking the pepperoni off Mingyu's pizza and adding it to hers.
“Ari," Jeonghan says softly, deciding to ask this himself because he can see you and Wonwoo are a bit shocked, “would you be ok with that though? If they lived happily ever after like the prince and Cinderella?"
“Mmmmmmmm," she taps her chin, thinking and leaving a greasy finger mark from the pizza, “I think so. Mommy smiles a lot when Woowoo is here." She whispers to Jeonghan like she's telling him her darkest secrets. "And I like it best when mommy smiles because she's my best friend.”
Fuck a duck.
"Why are you crying mommy? Did Gyugyu do something?” She frowns very seriously at Mingyu, her little arms folded.
"No honey,” you wipe your eyes, "and I'm not sad. I'm just very proud of you.”
"Because I read Cinderella?”
"Well yes, but more because you're you.”
"Who else would I be?” Her brows knit together as she picks her pizza up.
"No-one honey,” you chuckle, the other three joining in with you as you watch her tuck into her pizza with much too much pepperoni, not caring that she's just taken a massive weight of all your minds.
"Turns out it was just you two that didn't know.” Mingyu mutters, but soon stops looking so smug when you kick him in the leg.
"God I wish they wouldn't just roam around,” Wonwoo dodges a six year old dressed as a sheep.
"I don't see why they need to do this at all. Why not just put on a normal talent show?” Jeonghan glares at some glitter that's landed on his new jacket.
"Because it's Christmas.” You say through gritted teeth, pulling Wonwoo out of the line of fire of a three foot candy cane who was running past, “and so everyone needed to dress for the festive season."
“What’s festive about a sheep?" Wonwoo demands.
“I don't fucking know." You grumble.
“_____!"
No. No no no. You cannot deal with the mothers of the parent teacher association.
“Hi!" You turn around to them, your biggest and yet fakest smile plastered on your face.
“I see you've all come," the three women nod at the men flanking you.
“We wouldn't miss it," Mingyu beams proudly.
“We just wanted to ask, we're putting on a dance for valentine's day."
“Isn't that months away?" Wonwoo asks.
“Which one are you?" One of them asks condescendingly.
“Jeon Wonwoo, senior cardiothoracic surgeon at Asan Medical Centre," he holds his hand out and you try not to smile.
“O-oh," they all look a little taken aback as they shake his hand. Clearly they weren't banking on that. You swear they think you're in a quadruple or whatever it would be. It really isn't that hard to grasp that four people can bring up a child and it doesn't mean they're in a cult or a weird joint marriage.
“Mommy," Areum rushes up to you, “I've forgotten my tinsel crown."
“I've got a spare!" Mingyu pulls some tinsel out from his pocket.
“Thank you Gyugyu!" And she runs off again.
“We just wanted to know if you remembered the bake stall for after the talent show,"
You hate how they look at you. They think because your home set up isn't normal that it must mean you're all idiots that don't know what day of the week it is, let alone able to function like a regular family.
“I've made brownies, cupcakes and a pretty impressive bunt cake, if I do say so myself," Jeonghan cockily high fives Mingyu.
“Oh. I see."
Fuck do you feel smug.
"And we needed a donation for the……..”
"I made a sizeable donation on behalf of all of us two days ago. The principal actually called me herself saying how grateful she was.” You say in a sickly sweet voice.
"Really?” They all falter, looking between each other.
"Moooommmmy,” Areum comes rushing over again, "sorry I just need to speak to my mommy.” She says to wicked witches of the pta, "Mommy. Could you please remind Woowoo that he said we were going to the bookstore on the way home, I'm not talking to him because he ate my last chocolate Santa."
“I'll tell him." You nod very seriously.
“Bye!" She waves at the pta mothers and runs off again.
“I wish mine would read willingly," one of the kinder of the mothers mumbles, much to disgust of her friends.
“You were saying something about valentine's day?"
“What?"
“Isn't that why you came over? I presume you had a reason and it wasn't just because you like to belittle my girlfriend."
Ooooooh, now he's done it. All three of them bristle at Wonwoo’s comment but you can tell they're still trying to keep that fake polite exterior. You're going to give him such good head when you get home.
“Not at all, well all love seeing you all!"
Just as they finish that lie, a loud crash rings around the room and a teacher starts shouting at two boys.
“Oh," Mingyu frowns, “isn't that two of yours?" He points at two of the pta women.
“It's not Areum is it?" Jeonghan asks knowing full well it isn't.
“No, she's sitting with her friend over there, helping her plait her hair.” Wonwoo points out.
Satisfaction. In it's purest form, seeing your perfectly behaved, if not overly opinionated daughter, showing just how well she's been brought up by her "not normal” family. And then their son’s acting like little shits and being given detention at six years old. Perfection.
"Valentine's day?” You ask again.
"Oh right,” they drag their eyes away from the chaos, a look a evil on their faces again, “We wondered if we should have a daddy/ daughter dance or if it would upset Areum.”
"Why would it upset Areum?” You demand before the other three can ask anything.
"Well,” the leader smirks, "we wouldn't want to cause trouble.”
These fucking people. What gives them the right?
"Areum has three dads who love her. Who are here, unlike your children’s fathers. You might not get our family but you are no better than us because your children have just a mother and a father. Families come in all shapes and sizes and she’s loved and cared for and that's all that matters. If you don't like that, then I feel sorry for you. But do not go out of your way to insult the three men that have helped make that girl what she is today."
They stare at you before scuttling off back under whatever hole they wriggled out of.
"That,” Wonwoo pulls you to him, "was fucking hot.” He whispers in your ear.
"I feel like a princess when a knight defends her honour,” Mingyu smiles.
"Hey _____,” someone grabs your arm, "I couldn't have put it better myself, they did the same to me and my wife. Well done.” One of the mother’s from Ari’s class says proudly before she needs to rush off to find their daughter.
“Seats please!" Someone shouts and cuts off any proud gloating you were about the embark on.
“We should've bought a hip flask," Jeonghan complains, leading the way.
“Is that a goat? What does a goat have to do with Christmas?" Wonwoo complains, glaring at the other children as you drag him to his seat, Mingyu following behind you both.
"Maybe it's the goat of Christmas past.” You and Wonwoo stop and turn to Mingyu, a look of disgust on your faces.
"What?! That was a good one!”
"Come on, I don't want to miss Ari,” you sigh.
You take your seats, Mingyu next to an old lady who flusters when he says hello to her, Jeonghan next to him and you inbetween Jeonghan and Wonwoo. All of you waiting for the torture that's to come.
Children come and go, singing (or trying to), dancing (and falling), one even did a performance of her impersonating her fish. Five minutes of her just opening and closing her mouth dressed like what seemed to be a trout before someone finally put her, and Wonwoo, out of their misery.
But finally it's Areum's turn. She's performing Jingle Bells with her friend, dressed entirely in tinsel for reasons only known to them, and they even have little sets of bells to accompany their singing.
The old lady on the piano starts and they start singing. No nerves, no tantrums, just a happy little girl singing the song her and friend had learnt two weeks ago in your kitchen when Jeonghan said he'd help them.
For all of Wonwoo’s complaining about the calibre of performances and declaring that most of the children should be in a zoo, you watch him watching Areum and her friend with nothing but pride in his eyes. They're horrendously out of tune and the bells are definitely not in time with the piano or the singing. But to Wonwoo? He'd probably declare it a Grammy worthy performance.
Their song ends and people politely clap them like they do for every perfomance but this round of applause is a little different. Because this time three men stand and give a standing ovation to the two little girls on the stage, hooting and hollering making sure that both girls know how well they've performed.
It's as you join them, sour faced parents around you who glare out of the corner of their eyes, and cheer your little girl, that you realise just how lucky you both are that you realised how bad things were that day when baby Areum wouldn't stop crying.
Things got better. Things got a whole lot better. And it isn't just down to Mingyu, Wonwoo and Jeonghan. It's down to the fact that you knew you had people to help you. That even when you felt alone in the world, you still deep down knew that you weren't.
As the cheering ends and you sit back down, Wonwoo turns to you, his hand taking yours.
ANAMNESIS. (cyborg!choi seungcheol x human!reader)
synopsis: five years ago, your company became a big enough threat to the existing tech ecosystem to cause an attack on your life. five years ago, said attack killed your husband. after spending so long picking up the pieces, you are quickly racing to the top again, which means your life is threatened once more. but the assassin sent your way is a little too familiar, even if he’s not exactly the same as the day he got “killed”.
warnings: mentions of death and violence, assassination and murder, corrupt business practices, amnesia, brainwashing and manipulation, mentions of mental health, suicidal ideation, sexually explicit content
smut warnings: 18+, multiple orgasms, choking, praise kink, use of petnames, they almost cry (lol), mentions of body modifications (in case of cyborg!seungcheol).
word count: 17.2k
a/n: this is part of the Cyberpunk: Reload Collab hosted by @studiosvt . Thank you to the organisers and everyone involved in the collab, this has been such a unique and stimulating writing experience for me, especially for a concept I’ve never done before. Seungcheol in this is loosely based off the winter soldier, I hope you all enjoy!
Inside the sleek but small building wedged between two skyscrapers, a single light illuminates a window on the second floor. Around it is nothing but darkness, and the streets are strangely quiet for a Friday night. Inside the office, the golden light falls over a keyboard, the clack, clack, clack of the keys rhythmic and continuous. Fingers move deftly over it, and the artificial glow of the monitor adds to the lamp in an unpleasant way. You don’t seem to mind.
A knock on the door does nothing to break your concentration. Your fingers don’t so much as falter. Joshua pokes his head in through a crack in the doorframe, frowns when he sees you, and finally speaks up.
“Any chance you will be wrapping this up soon?”
You don’t look up, but you hum in acknowledgment. “Just a little bit more. I’m just finishing up on….”
Your voice trails off. You don’t attempt to finish the sentence. Joshua sighs.
“It’s Friday night.” He reminds you, gently, still lingering in the doorway. “How about you and I get some dinner? You can sleep in tomorrow.”
He knows his suggestions will fall on deaf ears, but he tries nonetheless. He is hyperaware of his boss at this point. There’s no convincing you to slow down, to take a breather. You won’t allow yourself to. Slowing down means letting your mind wander. And you haven’t let that happen in five years, lest you are reminded of what you have lost.
“It’s okay for you to head home, Josh.” You break him from his thoughts. “I promise, I’m almost done. Maybe an hour more.”
There’s no point in arguing. Joshua sighs and steps out again. He reminds himself to call you an hour later to make sure you have, in fact, left the office. His satchel is already packed, so he just pulls on his coat and steps out.
You know Joshua worries. He’s the only person on staff who can see your struggle. You pride yourself on being composed and shut off from the people around you. If you’re drowning, no one really sees it. Except Joshua, of course. He has been there since the very beginning, so he knows. The rest of the staff though, you did a complete turnover half a decade ago. They don’t know what actually went down or what you’ve been through.
True to your word, you’re wrapping up forty five minutes later. It’s well past midnight, and you know Joshua won’t take kindly to you still working when he inevitably calls in fifteen minutes. There have been occasions where he has dragged you out of the building himself, when he is particularly frustrated. He keeps speaking about ‘work-life balance’, reprimanding you for not having it. You always bite your tongue instead of telling him that you have no ‘life’ to go back to. The only person you ever loved is gone, so your work is all you have.
The drive back is inconsequential. The roads are empty by this point, despite the weekend. Your apartment building is silent and looming as always. You don’t really like your neighborhood, but you had moved here after everything happened for a fresh start, and at the time, you weren’t in any headspace to pick out a nice place. Joshua often complained about how drab and uninspiring your apartment is. You pay him no mind. He has always been all about flowers and rainbows. His desk at the office is so colorful it makes your eyes hurt sometimes.
You leave the light on in the kitchen landing so you don’t have to stumble through the dark to get to the switchboard. Again, you can hear Joshua complaining in your head about how you can easily afford an AI home system, considering how well the company has been doing. You are least interested though. You don’t want to put anything in this apartment that can mean you are planning to live here long term. You don’t even know why you’re still here. Most days, you have no clue where your life is heading anyway.
You toe off your shoes and plop your heavy trenchcoat over the back of the couch. You wonder what you can make yourself for dinner. Something minimal straight out of the packet, probably. You’ve got dozens of those prepackaged meals in your pantry. You beeline for the sink, washing your hands and wondering bleakly what you are in the mood for stomaching. Through the window over the counter, you can see the city’s skyline. Thousands of tiny, yellow dots from people’s windows, the backdrop formed by the sleek, poised buildings of the business sector looming beyond. Straight edges and smooth lines. But one building, not even two blocks away, shows an irregularity.
You squint for a second, hands held under the sink still. It looks like a person. Tall, but very broad. You half think you’re imagining it, but then the silhouette moves, and your eye catches on a gleam of silver over the shoulder.
The water is still running. You shut it off, looking back up. He’s gone.
You blink a few times. Then you glance at the clock. It’s nearly three in the morning. You huff and step away from the sink, shaking off your hands. It’s too late at night for your brain to be functioning properly. You need sustenance. And then you need to sleep.
It’s easy enough to pop your chicken dinner into a dish and slide it into the oven. You set fifteen minutes on the digital counter, and then busy yourself with hopping into the shower for a quick wash. Fifteen minutes on the dot, you’re back in the kitchen, peering into the oven with dripping wet hair and a bathrobe covering your drenched body. Everything around you is silent, so deafeningly still that you immediately hear the click and whir of metal. Right behind you. Too close.
The hair on the back of your neck stands. You whirl around.
Something smashes, hard, against your nose. Pain explodes and you gasp, stumbling back into the counter. Your eyes water, something warm and liquid drips over your lips and down your chin. You’re dizzy, you can’t see properly. You can barely breathe through the excruciating hurt. But alarm bells are ringing in your head, and fight or flight takes over. Backed against the counter for support, you kick your legs out hard. Your feet make contact with something sturdy. There’s a grunt, and the man stumbles backward, his back hitting the refrigerator with what sounds like a deafening crash. You’re already scrambling to run from the kitchen.
You can barely see, but you know the map of this house like the back of your hand. Your ears are ringing, you’re gasping for breath, but panic is fueling you. You’ve had this feeling before, your life has been threatened once, a long time ago, and somehow, the second time around is giving you more clarity.
It also means that you are better prepared this time around.
You can hear the thuds and bangs behind you. Your attacker will be right on your heels soon. You barely manage to wretch your door closed, locking it, before a startling bang shakes it at its very hinges. Your yelp is involuntary. You know you have only bought yourself mere seconds.
Inside your drawer you find what you’re looking for, a tiny, unassuming device, shiny and silver, resembling a lighter. It comes with two silicone ear buds that you shove into your ears. Then, your hand on the solitary button on the device, you turn around.
The door comes down after just two bangs, splintering the doorframe completely. Sawdust rises, clouding the air. You don’t wait to see your attacker, pressing the button immediately.
You can’t hear it, owing to the buds in your ears, but you know a high pitched screeching has filled the air, nearly unbearable because of how high the frequency is. But it does its job. The man howls in pain, dropping what looks like a gun on the ground and using both hands to cover his ears. His knees buckle and he falls on them. You can see, even from a few feet away, the veins in his neck bulge hard, disappearing behind the black mask on his face. He crumples on the floor, clutching the sides of his head. You snatch your phone from where you had thrown it on your bed, frantically dialling three digits.
The man is still writhing, his body, clad in black and silver, contracting and arching painfully as he tries in vain to keep the sound out. As he moves, metal thuds against the ground. There is more clicking and whirring, like machinery buzzing with life. You realise he’s not entirely human. His shoulders tighten as you step closer, trying to make out who it is.
“911, what is your emergency?”
A single brown eye pops open on the stranger's mask-covered face. The other half, you realise, is covered in silver metal. But you don’t care about that, because your blood is running cold.
You would recognise that eye anywhere.
Your grip falters. The device in your hand gets silenced. The man on the ground relaxes, his hands falling down as he quickly tries to scramble to his feet. He is still swaying, his short cropped blond hair matted to his sweaty forehead, the after effects of the sonic attack making him stumble, but for the first time, you register his stature. His height, the breadth of his shoulders. And his one, visible eye.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
The woman on your phone seems to break your trance. Before you know it, the man is rushing out over the broken wreckage of your door. Your hand shakes, your eyes are still watering from the blow you took. Both your phone and your device fall from your hand. You scramble after him.
“Wait-”
But he’s gone. Out of your living room window, which you didn’t notice was wide open when you first walked into the apartment. You can’t see him on the street below, which is glaringly empty. It’s like he was a ghost, vanishing before you can blink. You are left staring at nothing, blood dripping steadily down your chin now, staining your bathrobe, your hair still damp from the shower, sticking to your face and neck. You can’t even register the pain anymore, can’t think of anything else except the cold depth of his one brown eye.
……………………………
“That’s impossible.”
“It was him.”
“And I’m telling you, that’s not possible.”
“I know what I saw, Josh.”
“Y/N, he’s dead. We had a funeral. We buried him.”
“Only parts.” But your voice cracks. You don’t like remembering that day. “We had an arm and a leg. Some teeth. And this man…. half of him was metal. He’s been modified.”
Joshua doesn’t reply, staring at the TV playing across the room on low volume. You follow his lead, gaze blank. You don’t really register much of anything since the pain in your face is too overwhelming to take in much else.
When you woke up this morning, you almost forgot what happened in your apartment mere hours ago. One look at the broken mess of your door, the twinge in your face that made your eyes water, and all the events came rushing back. The punch you took, running to your room, your door broken down, driving your attacker away.
Clear, brown, almond shaped eye. Just one eye, while the other half of the face was covered in what looked like a metal plate, and a mechanical, white circle where the other eye should have been.
“The Secretary of Defence has a bionic arm.” You add, absentmindedly.
“Just one arm.” Joshua counters. “Not half the entire body.”
“It wasn’t the entire body. I could make out the arm and leg. Some part of the face-”
“My point is,” Your friend cuts you off, “why would it be Seungcheol? And if by some miracle it was him, why would he attack you?”
You don’t answer, because you don’t know. You’ve been mulling over the same questions for hours, long before you finally called Joshua to come over. You know bionic prostheses are very much an emerging field in biotech circles. Everyone is racing towards this kind of technology because of how much revenue there is in the medical applications. The other, more sinister angle is weaponry, and you know that a lot of your fellow developers and companies want to tap into that potential. There have been rumors for months, covert projects underway by both government and private agencies to develop this exact kind of thing.
Maybe what you saw last night was an application of that weapon.
It still doesn’t explain why he would attack you. Doesn’t explain why the person who would never so much as raise his voice at you could hurt you so severely that Joshua balked at the sight of your purple and blue face, nose swollen and bruised in ugly colors that told you that you would have to work from home for the foreseeable future.
The Seungcheol you knew had been so gentle. That’s how you met him, actually, so many years ago that you don’t even recognise that time.
He’d spilled coffee on you, as cliché as it sounds. Thankfully, it missed any part of your skin that was bare, but even through the cloth it burned a bit. He was so apologetic, dark brown hair falling into his eyes, messed up by the wind in a look that reminded you a little bit of a gentle dog. He had panicked, tried to wipe you down, but you were too distracted by this giant of a man who talked so softly, dabbed your sleeve with a grip on your wrist uncharacteristically gentle for such large hands. He wanted to pay for dry cleaning, and you agreed only if he would let you buy a coffee to replace the one he had spilled on you. Of course, he didn’t let you pay even after agreeing to it.
“I spilled it on you.” He argued. “What kind of man would I be if I let you pay for it?”
His lips, full and pink in a way that you immediately wondered about the feel of them, ticked up, and a little dimple dented his right cheek. You felt the squeeze of your heart, fluttering wildly in your chest, a feeling that was replicated every day after that, for Seungcheol never left your side since then. Until the day he died. Or did he?
Joshua is watching the screen more intently now, eyebrows furrowing.
“Yoon Tech is doing a demonstration at the New York Expo? I had no idea.”
You blink to focus on the screen. Sure enough, Yoon Tech’s CEO, Yoon Jeonghan, is speaking to the audience and cameras with that sly, charming smile on his face, talking about unveiling a project that can revolutionise the field of war weaponry and put their military supremely on top of their competition around the world. You know Yoon Tech is the military’s primary contractor, and their focus is weaponry. You know this because before Yoon Tech, your company was approached for a military contract, one that you turned down because your prime focus was not weapons. Joshua still thinks you should have said yes, but you don’t want to take the company in that direction. Besides, things get messy if you have the government as your big boss.
“You know Jeonghan doesn’t say anything about projects until the day he unveils them.” You mumble, only half focusing. “He’s secretive that way-”
“Wait, shut up.” Joshua sits up abruptly, scrambling for the remote to turn the volume up. Behind Jeonghan, several people are stepping onto the stage. He’s introducing them one by one as military veterans, and your eyes catch their forms immediately, breath stilling. Protheses, lots of them.
A man with a bionic arm, quite like the one the Secretary of Defence has. A woman with a below knee prosthetic leg. There’s more, attached limbs and shoulders, half a pelvic girdle, part of a jaw. Jeonghan is still talking, gesturing to the people now lining up behind him. The silver gleams, just like it gleamed on Seungcheol’s body last night. The only difference is the Yoon Tech and Military logos stamped on the ones on your screen. Jeonghan announces a demonstration, steps off the stage, and you watch, completely silent, as all of them demonstrate feats of extraordinary strength, aided by their metal attachments, some even showing installed weaponry between the plates of their limbs.
“A formation of advanced humans,” Jeonghan is saying somewhere off screen. “Man and machine combined, that will allow these soldiers to serve their country in ways they did not even possess before their unfortunate injuries.”
“Josh…” Your voice trails off.
Joshua looks pale, confused, and a little frightened when his eyes meet your beaten and bruised face. It looks like he dared not believe, but you know he has reached the same conclusion as you.
“Jeonghan sent Seungcheol to kill you?”
…………………………
The only sound in the large, swanky office is the tea as it pours slowly into a cup on Jeonghan’s desk. It steams, and the scent of chamomile hits his nose. He watches it absentmindedly, and then waves his hand to dismiss his secretary. She places the tea kettle down gently and leaves without a word, and the room falls into silence. There is only him, and the man sitting opposite to him across his large, mahogany desk. Half his face is shrouded by darkness, the other half reflects the light as it hits the cold, unforgiving metal.
Jeonghan tuts.
“Well, this is definitely a setback.” He hums, picking up the cup so he can take a small sip. It warms his throat, perfect for the cold weather. But his mind remains distracted. “After the demonstration at the Expo yesterday, she will definitely know it was me who ordered the hit. After all, who else is making bionic weaponry?”
The man across from him doesn’t respond. He rarely talks unless directly spoken to, one eye blank and unseeing. Jeonghan doesn’t claim to know much about how the human brain works, but he supposes extensive memory modification can do that to a person.
“You always used to have something witty or crass to say, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan sighs. “Oh well. It was either that, or your willingness to kill her. I will take what I can get.”
Again, no reply. Jeonghan focuses on drinking his tea, thinking. His eyes are trained on his former business rival, the presumed dead husband of his current business rival. The soothing chamomile does nothing to take the bitter taste out of his mouth. He still feels the resentment, the bruise on his ego. For your company to be pursued as a first choice in a military partnership, when his own efforts are much grander, much more advanced, for you to turn that opportunity down (you’re a dumbass, he thinks), for him to be second choice, despite where he stands in tech circles…
A company that was a mere baby not even a full decade ago to beat something it took his family generations to build. It irks him. It burns him.
So he will burn you.
He did it once, in the explosion that took away what you loved the most. It should’ve been enough to deter you, but it clearly wasn’t. No matter, he plans to destroy you directly this time.
“You know what you need to do.” He says, mutely. The man before him stirs, nods. Jeonghan scowls at him.
“Make sure you finish the job this time.”
……………………………..
Seungcheol had always been a mega-nerd about tech. And his dream was to own his own company.
He would tell you about it, both of you sprawled on the uncomfortable rooftop of his college dorm building, staring at the sky. He’d talk and talk about his plans after graduation, about how he wanted to build something from the ground up, something he was proud of. You would listen, not just because the sound of his voice always made you so happy, but because you were genuinely interested in it. You had a business major, and while Seungcheol didn’t know how to run things, you did. Even then, it felt like a match made in heaven to you. Seungcheol knew the substance of the company, you knew how to run it. It almost felt like a no-brainer that eventually you would do this together.
Back in his dorm, you would plop yourself into his lap and look over the little gadgets he had designed, the many, many files in his computer of inventions you didn’t even know could exist. You would tease him, calling him a glorified mechanic.
“Engineer.” He would pout. You would kiss it off him through a million giggles. His laptop would be pushed off the bed, forgotten, as you sunk into each other’s arms.
The company was his baby, truly. While you were CEO because you ran day to day operations and focused on logistics, any product you pushed out was crafted carefully in Seungcheol’s hands. He would bring every prototype to you, you would run it by focus groups and tweak it, and eventually, it would hit the market with great success. Seungcheol always thought it was because of you.
“You run your magic over it, and it becomes a hit.” He would say, kissing your cheek over and over. You would just grin and take it, never ever pushing him away.
It was all Seungcheol, everyone knew this. But when he looked at you so softly, that glint of awe in his beautiful eyes, you would just indulge whatever he had to say.
“You wouldn’t know what to do without me, mister.” You would tease. He would squeeze you so tightly.
“You’re right. I wouldn’t.”
All those memories are ghosts now. The truth is, you don’t know what to do without him either. He was part of you, intertwined with your soul, and he was painfully ripped away after so many glorious years together. Sometimes, you think you imagined that time in your life. It feels so far away. But then you walk into your office, you look at the logo he designed, the furniture you picked out, the many, many unfinished files in your server that you are still working on, his creations, and you would be reminded that he was real. All that time, all that delirious bliss, was completely real.
Jeon Wonwoo is the current head of your Product Development branch, Seungcheol’s previous post. You had brought him in after the tragedy that killed your husband. Well, not you, but Joshua, who suggested overhauling the entire team after the attack. He is brilliant, quiet and a little reclusive, but whip-smart. He became intimately familiar with Seungcheol’s work when you brought him in, and he respected the integrity of it, which made you respect him even more. He’s no Seungcheol, but he’s the closest thing, and you think he might be the only one you can trust to answer the questions in your head.
“Bionic weaponry isn’t exactly novel.” He murmurs. “We know it exists. Not openly yet, but it’s being manufactured in a lot of places. Companies we know as well as around the world. Yoon Tech is just the first one to unveil it publicly.”
Joshua is pacing your living room floor, and watching him makes you feel dizzy, so you close your eyes instead. Your face is still tingling with pain, and you’re so tired that you just want to sleep. But you also need some form of explanation.
“So it’s possible? Modifying Seungcheol’s body like that?” Joshua asks.
Wonwoo hesitates, holding his chin and staring at the far wall. “Theoretically, yes. Practically, I haven’t seen or heard of it yet. Not to the extent you describe. Establishing neural connections in that many body parts and making sure they work in perfect coordination is a huge undertaking.”
Joshua looks at you pointedly, as if to say ‘I told you so’.
“But,” Wonwoo clears his throat, “if anyone can accomplish it, it would be Yoon Tech. Their R&D team is the best in the game.”
You return Joshua’s look the best that you can through your marred face. He huffs.
“What about the fact that he attacked her? Why would he do that?” He asks.
Wonwoo blinks. “Oh, that’s easy. Memory modification. Brainwashing. CIA has been doing it for years. A lot of assassins operate under that frame of mind. It’s easier to control them that way.”
A small silence stretches over the room. Joshua is chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“So he doesn’t know who I am.” You mumble. “I’m just….. what, a target?”
Wonwoo nods. “Likely, yes. And you know Jeonghan way better than me, ma’am. It’s very like him to toy with you by using Seungcheol specifically.”
You can’t argue with him on that. You know how ruthless Jeonghan is about his company, about his standing in tech circles. You’re catching up, dangerously close, and some would say you’ve even surpassed him. You won't put it past him to knock out competition under the table.
You never did find out who ordered the hit on Seungcheol five years ago. But now, you think you know.
“Can we undo it?” You ask. “The memory change, or whatever?”
Joshua stares at you. “What do you mean?”
Wonwoo answers you, though.
“I think so, yes. It’s not my area of expertise, but I know people who can tell us more about it. The memory isn’t the problem, though. He’s basically a walking weapon. Subduing him long enough to do anything about his brain is going to be an issue.”
“Whoa, hold on.” Joshua steps closer to you, cutting off your reply to Wonwoo, holding a hand up. Both of you look at him as he stares at you in bewilderment.
“What the hell are you planning? Are you insane? He almost killed you!”
“What do you want me to do then?” You grit your teeth. “Nothing? Should I just lay down and let him kill me?”
“We need to call the police-”
You laugh dryly. Your face twinges with pain.
“I have no proof. You think any agency in this city is going to mess with Yoon Tech? And by some miracle if they do believe me, do you think any of them are going to spare Seungcheol long enough to save him?”
Joshua’s mouth opens and closes, like he wants to protest, but no words leave him. He huffs and shakes his head, running a frustrated hand through his hair. You turn your attention back to Wonwoo.
“I know you’re not a biotech expert, but you’re the best IT guy I know. Any ideas on how to hack into Yoon Tech’s mainframe?”
Wonwoo looks a little taken aback. “That’s….. illegal.”
You roll your eyes, ignoring the pain that comes with it. “I’m pretty sure trying to get your business competitor killed is illegal too. Jeonghan seems comfortable attempting it twice.”
He nods slowly, still slightly hesitant. “I will need help…”
You stand up, essentially declaring the meeting over. You’re tired, as you often are these days. Your injury might look like it affects your face only, but you feel the exhaustion bone deep in every part of you. You want a soothing cup of tea and then a million blankets to lie down in. That's it.
“Call in anyone you need.”
…………………………
You know he will come again. The only question is when.
The bruises around your nose and under your eyes take a long time to fade. The slow move from a deep purple, to blue, to a sickly green and then yellow surprises you every day. You’re breathing easy now, only a week later, but you know going to the office looking like this will raise serious questions. You can’t risk any eyes on this right now, since getting Seungcheol back needs to be as discrete as possible.
That’s what you plan to do. Get him back.
It’s idealistic, almost. Maybe something out of a movie. He has been altered, mind and body, for years. You don’t even want to imagine how much he was been put through. How convoluted must his mind be now? How dangerous would tinkering with his body be?
Every few minutes, your hand reaches into the pocket of your jeans, toying with the small, rectangular chip that Wonwoo had given you a couple of days ago.
“You need to get close enough to him to get this on any bionic part of him.” He told you. “Arm, leg, doesn’t matter. We can’t hack into Yoon Tech’s mainframe, it’s too secure. But we can isolate him from it. This chip can do that. Once that’s done, we can figure out a way to rewire his mechanics.”
It’s easier said than done, of course. For one, Seungcheol is nearly twice your size. He’s always been massive, but he seems even more so now. You wonder if he has worked covertly for Yoon Tech to do other dirty work. How long has he been their weapon? How much training does he have? Can you, a novice civilian, even get close enough to him to do any lasting damage?
“You managed it once, didn’t you?” Joshua replied to your mind’s worries. “You got out of that alive, somehow. I’m willing to bet you can do it again.”
“He’ll be more careful this time.” Wonwoo mumbled. “For one, he won’t try again until you’re completely alone. For another, he will make sure you are isolated from any weapon you might be able to access.”
So now here you are, meandering in your kitchen, watching your television blankly, staring unseeing at your laptop. Anything and everything to make yourself look as unassuming as possible. He’s watching, you know he is, and every fiber of your body is silently asking him to come to you. You wait, and wait, because you would wait endlessly for him. Somehow, you’re not afraid. In your head, this ends in one of two ways. Either you get the love of your life back, or you die trying. You’re good with both options.
It’s Tuesday by the time he finally shows up.
You think you sense him, because the hair on your body stands. You feel the chill, and then, that very soft whirring sound that comes when he moves his limbs.
You stare at the contents inside your refrigerator. You don’t turn around. And yet, he doesn’t shoot. He doesn’t swing.
“I was expecting you sooner.” You finally say.
When you turn to look at him, your eyes catch his visible brown one. Your breath hitches. He has ditched the mask, and you can see his face. Well, what’s left of it.
Metal pieces are carved into the shape of his right ear, curling forward to form a cheekbone, encroaching all the way over his eye and stopping right before his nose. It covers the ridge of his right eyebrow as well, but spares his forehead. A white, flat circle is fitted where his eye should be, and now that you look closely at it, it swirls and moves, no doubt mapping your every move.
The rest of his face is gloriously, warmly human. It’s him, it’s his left eye, his thick, furrowed eyebrow, the strong bridge of his nose, his lips, set in a hard line on his face. His hair has been cropped right to his skull, dyed a dirty blond with brown roots already growing out, slightly spiked and dishevelled around his head. Finally, your eyes dart down to the pistol in his hand, pointing directly at your chest.
You clench your teeth.
“Shoot me.”
He doesn’t reply, but his mouth tightens. From your chest, the gun rises to your head. The shifting of his aim is your window. Your hand shoots back, grabs and throws the first thing you can find at him. It’s a glass. His metal arm comes up, makes contact, and the glass shatters. His stance does not falter for even a second, but he flinches at the shards of glass, and before it even makes contact, you are sprinting forward, hand curled tight around the chip, and with one leap, you collide into him. Hard.
Your momentum is enough, and you both fall in a mess of limbs. You scramble, finding the edge of the plate in his shoulder, but before you can wedge the chip in it, his human hand reaches up and smashes hard against your jaw. You cry out, the sharp sting blooming, the taste of blood already in your mouth. But your hands are still moving, and before you know it, the chip hits hard against his bicep, immediately lighting up a pale yellow, the tiny spikes on its edges sinking into the metal.
Seungcheol shouts and roughly pushes you off. You fall limply on your side, trying to see through how dizzy you are. Everything hurts, your face is on fire, but your eyes are focused on the pale yellow streaks spreading over Seungcheol’s arm, glowing between the plates making up his leg, part of his face. His arm and leg jerk hard, seemingly out of his control. He shouts again, trying to stand up, but it looks like his limbs aren’t cooperating with him anymore.
The human part is still his though.
You force yourself, despite the excruciating pain and the blood now sliding down your throat, and you rush into the living room. Under your couch, you’ve stored what you need. Electromagnetic cuffs, both for his wrists and ankles, shiny grey steel with a light that blinks on when you press the buttons on them. You can hear Seungcheol stumble onto his feet in the kitchen, and you’re already rushing back before he can stand properly. The cuffs hum, slam hard around his human wrist and the light on them turns red. The arm goes limp on his side immediately. He can’t react, not with his only remaining limb, and you are able to secure the other cuff around his ankle as well.
With that, your husband crumples to your kitchen floor.
He’s motionless from the neck down, but he strains hard. You can see the muscles in his neck bulge. He is flushed with the exertion of it, grunting and snarling. His glare is venomous as you back into the kitchen island, trying not to choke on the blood dripping down your throat as you breathe hard.
You drape yourself over the sink, trying not to throw up, spitting blood into it so you can breathe. Behind you, Seungcheol is still groaning and straining, to no avail. You stay leaning over until the wave of nausea passes, and the bleeding slows. Finally, you grab a bunch of paper towels, wiping your mouth and chin. The metallic taste still lingers.
Your hands leave some streaks of blood on your phone as you dial Wonwoo’s number. He picks up on the first ring, and when he speaks, you realise he was anticipating your call.
“The chip just connected to my server! I’m working on decrypting and isolating him from Yoon Tech’s servers right now.”
“How long is it going to take?” You ask, not recognising your own, broken voice. Your jaw is sore. You’re in so much pain.
“I don’t know yet….” Wonwoo’s voice is more subdued. “Are you okay? Do you need help?”
You shake your head before you realise he can’t see you.
“I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.” Big underreport. “What do I do while you work on this?”
Wonwoo doesn’t immediately answer, but you can hear shuffling in the background.
“What I’m doing only changes the physical.” His voice sounds apologetic. “The mental barrier, his lack of memory, I can’t fix that.”
You know what he is implying. You turn your head to look at Seungcheol, still on your kitchen floor, heaving but no longer futilely straining.
“Thanks, Wonwoo. I can handle that part.”
The truth is, you don’t know if you can. You don’t know what was done to him. You don’t even know if your husband still exists somewhere inside him, or if he was wiped out completely. Are you even cut out for this? With your modest business degree and a company that is successful only because of Seungcheol’s genius, where do you stand in this situation?
As you walk back into the kitchen, watching the man writhing on the floor does nothing to soothe your confidence. Suddenly, all your clarity is gone.
You don’t know what to do.
……………………………..
Seungcheol was a very clingy man.
You always liked that about him. To you, he was like an overgrown bear, curling around you tightly while you chopped vegetables until you complained that you still needed your mobility in order to cook dinner.
“You’re too heavy, Cheolie!” You would whine, but his grip on you would only tighten, pressing your back harder into his front.
“Five more minutes.” He would mumble into your hair. You would laugh incredulously.
You’re reminded of that moment as you drag this immobilised, half human, half robot man into your living room, using every bit of your strength to plop him onto the armchair next to the couch. You’re heaving, your head pounding so severely that it makes you dizzy. There’s no fight in him anymore, and he stares blankly at you as you cough a little, still feeling drops of blood hit your palm as you do so. You huff and go to the bathroom to clean up, rummaging in your medicine cabinet for anything that could ease your pain. You leave him on the chair, knowing he’s incapable of escaping anyway.
Fifteen minutes later, you’re sitting on the couch with a cup of tea, your legs curled under you, a blanket draped over your lap. You stare with bleary vision at the dark, steaming liquid. Seungcheol stares at the ceiling, head thrown back. Neither of you says a word.
“Do you speak?” You muse out loud, not looking at him. “I haven’t heard you talk yet, so it makes me wonder.”
No reply.
“Jasmine tea was your favorite, you know?” You mumble on, not even fully aware of what you are saying. “You were always a coffee person, but when you had tea with me sometimes, it would be jasmine. It’s the only one you could stomach, actually.”
A mirthless laugh leaves you. He still stares at the ceiling. You watch him, the stiff cut of his jaw, the streaks of yellow glowing under the plates of his bionic attachments. There is a distinct, soft hum coming from them, but both of you elect to ignore it.
“Seungcheol.” You whisper. He doesn’t react beyond a small flick of his eyelid.
You’re so tired. You can feel it tug on your limbs, like invisible weights making it difficult to even move. With every ounce of strength in you, you stand up, walking to the closet in your hallway. You return with a pale blue blanket, the one Seungcheol got for himself years ago and never let go, claiming it was a comfort for him. Now, his eye trains on you as you shake it out and drape it over his torso and legs. You don’t look at him, just loosely tucking him in before walking back to the couch, pulling your own blanket around yourself and sinking into the uncomfortable cushion.
You don’t notice his eye on you. You don’t notice anything else as you welcome the pitch black of dreamless sleep. You send out a little prayer that by morning, somehow all of this will be over and you will wake up in bed, wrapped up in your husband’s warm arms.
You’re wrong, sadly. There is nothing but cold.
He’s exactly where you left him before drifting off. He stares into the distance, looking disconnected until you shift and his eye catches the movement. You wince at the crick in your neck, somehow even more tired than you were before sleeping. You sigh and rub your eyes.
“Did you sleep?” You ask.
No response.
You leave him on the couch, opting to putter to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. You eye the cabinet against the far wall, staring at the bottles inside and the amber liquid that gleams in them. A glance at the clock tells you it’s barely noon.
Fuck this.
Seungcheol doesn’t react in any way when you walk into the living room with a bottle of whiskey and a glass that’s too big for a drink like that. He just watches you from the corner of his eye as you sit back on the couch and pour yourself a concerning amount, wincing when your throat protests against the first sip.
“You would not approve of this at all.” You chuckle humorlessly. “You’d be appalled, I think. Drinking this early? Whiskey of all things? That was never my drink. I didn’t have the tolerance for it. You’re the whiskey guy.”
He doesn’t interrupt. You take another sip and stare at the glass. Already, on an empty stomach, you can feel your senses dimming.
“Sometimes I think,” you whisper, “you would really hate the person I’ve become.”
His head lolls in your direction, the only part of his body he can control. His eye meets yours and you feel your heart squeeze.
“I don’t know you.”
His voice is hoarse, a little crack in it from disuse. But it’s his voice, the voice you’ve yearned to hear for so long. You remember laying in your bed at night, wishing you could hear him whisper one last time, maybe even just the sound of your name from his lips, just once more, to hold you over. Your breath hitches, and you can feel your vision blur under newly formed tears.
“I’m your wife.”
“You’re my target.”
You stand abruptly, walking closer to where he sits, or rather, lays sprawled out under the blanket you draped over him. You tug it aside, eye the yellow lines of light that pass over his bionic limbs. You reach down to run a finger over the chip you attached to his bicep.
“If I pull this off you right now,” you stare directly into his eye. “Would you kill me?”
A small silence. Then he nods.
You let out a shaky breath, standing back up. The air is tense, and by now, you’re sick of it. You need to get away from him for a bit, no matter how badly that very thought pains you. Whiskey ignored on the coffee table, you walk to the door to tug your shoes on. You eye the back of his blond head with your hand on the doorknob, feeling a certain sense of defeat.
“Ironic, isn’t it?” You mumble, but he hears you. “You’re the one who created that chip.”
The door closes softly behind you.
……………………………………
There is a mess in his head. A tangled web of wires. He doesn’t know how to begin unraveling it. He can’t even find a single free end to tug on.
In the quiet of the room he is sitting in, he can hear warped voices from inside his own thoughts. He can’t make out any words, only tones, soft and loud both, some conversational, some that sound like laughter. He knows the voice, can recognise it. It’s the woman whose armchair he is sitting on.
Something presses on his temple, like a weighted force, insistent, as if urging him to listen more closely. But he can’t, because it makes pain bloom between his eyebrows, pain so severe it makes his eye water.
Every now and then, he feels intense heat, a kind that’s less uncomfortable and more painful. As suddenly as it comes, it goes away, and the blanket draped over him does nothing but elevate the sensation of it. He sits in the quiet, with the floating voices, the laughter, the weight on his head, the pain between his eyebrows, and the bursts of painful heat that bloom on his skin.
His ears perk when he hears the front door clink open after what seems like hours. He can’t turn himself around to look, so he just listens to the stumbling and mumbled cursing, shuffling and then a soft thud of cloth hitting the ground. Bare footsteps, a quiet sound, and then the woman from before enters his line of sight.
You’re clearly inebriated. He has stalked enough victims before ending their lives to know what alcohol intoxication looks like. He eyes you carefully as you putter around the living room, not doing anything in particular. Then, you look straight at him.
“I don’t know what to do.” You finally speak, and the words are less slurred than he expected them to be. “I don’t know what to do with you.”
He doesn’t reply. You move closer to him, and his face, the only thing he can move, tenses when you pull the blanket back and sink onto the chair by his side. He can feel the press of you against his skin, even if he can’t move. Your shoulder fits under his arm, you head on his collarbone. You drape the blanket over your joined bodies.
“Let’s just pretend everything is okay.” You whisper, your voice cracking slightly. Your arm drapes over his torso. “Just for right now. Just one night.”
He stares at the wall, his side warming quickly under the added weight. It’s different from the heat he felt before, stinging and sudden, disconcerting. It’s different from anything he has felt in a long time. No one touches him. No one has been near him for years, except the people he has taken the lives of, or the scientists that fitted his limbs. This heat right now, it is dull but constant, like how the sun feels on your skin. He hears laughter again, but this time it’s clearer, and it sounds familiar, like something he has heard before. In another life.
He stares at the far wall as your breathing evens out. Your weight doesn’t feel very uncomfortable anymore as time passes. The clock ticks softly, and the rise and fall of your chest is rhythmic. He can feel your heartbeat against his ribcage. There is a whisper in his head. A name. His own. In a voice that is quickly becoming familiar.
He’s tired, but he doesn’t sleep. He can’t remember the last time he slept.
…………………………..
Going into work becomes out of the question immediately, since you can’t leave a brainwashed assassin on your couch unattended for a whole day. Joshua pays you a visit with some stuff that needs taking a look, but otherwise, you sit on the couch, your laptop in front of you, and get through meetings and daily logistics that way. As you work, you think out loud, talking to Seungcheol about random tasks that come up, some hiccup at work you’re fretting over, and how your head of accounting keeps pissing you off. It’s mundane stuff, but it is exactly the things that you used to talk about on the daily. You loved debriefing with your husband, especially because he worked in the same place as you, so he knew all these people just as well, and knew what you were talking about.
Now, he doesn’t respond much. But you’re okay with that. You’re just glad he is here, and not dead like you had assumed for the last five years.
After your moment of inebriated weakness, spending the night curled up in his warmth, you suddenly feel some semblance of hope again. You had heard his heart beat, had felt the twitch and shift of his skin under your touch. He is still your Seungcheol, even if half of him is cold and unfamiliar, you are certain that he is somewhere in there, deep inside. And you’re convinced that if he didn’t remember at all, he wouldn’t have let you sleep on him the way that he did.
(Granted, he had no choice since he was paralysed. But you choose to ignore that reality.)
Joshua has been very wary of this quiet, motionless version of Seungcheol. He steers clear when he visits, not engaging in any way and just choosing to finish up on work with you and leaving. One night, you ask him to stay for dinner, and for the first time, he hesitates. You see his eyes flick to where Seungcheol is sitting, and you sigh in irritation.
“He’s not a piece of furniture, Josh.” You mutter. “He’s still my husband.”
“Is he?” He counters, dryly. “Because it’s been weeks and there’s been nothing. I assumed if he was really in there, we would’ve seen something by-”
“He’s there.” You hiss, cutting him off. Joshua blinks at your harsh tone. “I’ve been here with him every second of every day. I see it in his eyes. He isn’t gone yet-”
The crack in your voice cuts you off. You take a deep breath, blinking vigorously to keep your tears at bay. Joshua has fallen silent, eyeing you with a forlorn expression. After a few seconds, when he realises you won’t continue, he simply nods.
That night, after Joshua has gone, you still have his uncertainty on your mind. You eye the back of Seungcheol’s head, and remember the last few weeks. A seed has been planted in your head, plaguing your brain with doubt and pain. And once again, you feel that bone deep exhaustion that comes and goes frequently these days.
You make up your mind quickly, and your body follows in resignation.
Slowly, you walk back to the living room where Seungcheol sits. You walk closer to him, reaching for his flesh arm, the thick, metal cuff on his wrist. It sizzles a bit, recognises your thumbprint, and clicks, loosening. You don’t look at Seungcheol, despite the fact that he is eyeing you in surprise. You simply kneel down to quickly do the same to the cuff around his ankle before standing up again.
He moves with a little hesitation, stretching his leg and flexing his arm, his fingers. The limbs are stiff, and you’re sure weeks of no activity have left them sore. His bionic arm, and his pants clad leg, both still glow with pale, yellow light, the symbol of your and Wonwoo’s control of them. You reach forward, and yank the chip on his arm hard, disconnecting it. The yellow vanishes, leaving only gleaming, silver metal.
The chip is warm inside your palm. You step back, blinking away tears of what feels like a chapter closing.
“You can leave if you want.” You mumble. “Or kill me, since that’s your mission.”
Slowly, Seungcheol stands. His metal attachments click and whir, buzzing with life again as he twists and moves them, feeling them out. You take a deep breath and realise you can’t stand to look at him anymore. So you head to the kitchen.
You shuffle around mindlessly, just waiting to hear the front door open and close, or maybe you wait for searing pain from wherever he chooses to attack you. You can’t predict what he will do anymore. There was once a time you knew him so well, you could even count his breaths in your head, could mimic the rise and fall of his chest under your palm. Now, you feel like you are lost at sea and he’s nowhere to be found.
There’s shuffling behind you, but you don’t turn around.
“I don’t know you.” He says, and the words hurt just as much as they did when he first spoke them weeks ago. You grit your teeth hard.
“But,” he continues. Hesitates, “I did know you. In another time.”
You feel yourself stiffen, turning just enough to look at him. He fills the doorway, but his figure is hunched, uncertain. You wonder if he is just as tired as you. If he can feel it tug on his limbs like you do, like it’s anchoring him to the floor. How has he felt, watching you for weeks and weeks, nowhere to go but to sit and listen to any word that falls out of your mouth?
“I want to know.” He continues. “I want to remember.”
You stare at him for a long time before you finally move to where he stands. He doesn’t step back, doesn’t react at all, even when you stop just inches from his face. His human eye, brown like the earth, flicks with something you can’t place, and the metal that covers the other half, plain grey, cold and distant. Just where the metal meets his face, the skin is raw and red. Up close, you can see how angry it looks, and you wonder how careless the person was who put him together.
Your heart aches.
“Okay.” You say simply. No promises, no guarantees. Only a commitment, and a hope to see it succeed.
…………………………
It’s a little strange to settle into a routine with this new version of Seungcheol.
For one, he doesn’t do most things humans would. He eats very little, maybe one meal a day, and sleeps even less. He spends a lot of time to himself, mostly silent rumination, something that wasn’t part of his personality at all before. He’s always been loud and jovial, so this change takes some adjusting. You suspect there is a lot about him, maybe all of it, that isn’t the same anymore. The thought hurts you, so you try not to dwell.
You open your spare bedroom for him, since lounging in your living room day and night can’t really be comfortable. You still have his old clothes, whatever you managed to salvage after the explosion in your shared home. He is deeply intrigued by them, and asks, in a low voice, what other belongings of his you held on to.
The answer is: everything.
You make a trip to the storage unit you bought before you moved to your new, drab apartment. You lug back boxes of Seungcheol’s incomplete inventions, designs he was working on at the time, little contraptions that were half functioning, his diaries, his notes. You even bring back his absurdly large collection of watches, every brand and every new, cool tech that existed in the market.
“They were your one vice.” You smile at the memory as he opens the gigantic box. “You actually designed a few yourself too. This one-”
You point to a shiny, square shaped one in the corner. Seungcheol eyes it closely.
“This one was connected to me. You installed something in it that links to the one I wear, and it clicks at the same rhythm as my heartbeat. So it’s not really for telling time.” You shrug.
“I made this?” He asks, lifting the watch from its snug case. It’s not functional anymore, probably out of battery after so many years. It’s strange, because it has no hands and no numbers. There is an engraving of your initials just under the glass, over a black background.
You nod. “You said it made you feel like I was by your side all the time.”
Your voice is low. It almost cracks. He doesn’t say anything more.
You stick to working from home for a prolonged amount of time now, which isn’t difficult, since you’re mostly confined to your office when you go into work anyway. A week or so after Seungcheol asked you if he could stay, you’re due for a site visit. And you offer for him to come with you.
He hesitates.
“No one is going to recognise you.” You reassure him. “For one, it’s an all new staff. And for another, you’re blond now. And short haired.”
He subconsciously runs a hand over his head, his lips pulling together in what can only be a ghost of one of his infamous pouts.
“It doesn’t look bad.” He mumbles.
“I never said it does.” You reply, holding back a smile as you put a plate of eggs and toast in front of him. You tilt your head as you appraise his hair. He’s trying to flatten it down on his head.
“No, don’t do that.” You swat away his hand, running your fingers through the short but soft locks and lifting them up a bit. You mess around with it, distressing it a bit more. You know he’s watching you. It makes your cheeks heat a bit. You try to ignore the feeling.
“There.” You withdraw your hands. “It looks so nice now.”
When your eyes meet his, you realise his ears are tinged pink, and so is the back of his neck. You try to ignore the racing of your heart.
Wonwoo meets you on site, and he’s a little taken aback by Seungcheol being there. His face is covered with a mask, but the metal eye gives it away. After some stumbling, Wonwoo elects to ignore Seungcheol’s presence in favor of just getting work done, and you become immersed in it as well.
“This is where the problem is.” Wonwoo points, handing you the tablet. “There is definitely something wrong, but I can’t tell if it’s because I messed up the configuration or not. I’ve been trying a few different options but they all haven’t worked so far.”
Just over your shoulder, you feel Seungcheol lean in to look at the screen in your hand. You try not to think about him being so close.
“Maybe request a consultation.” You respond. “There is a reason we have engineers on call-”
“The configuration isn’t the problem.” A voice speaks from behind you. “Your base algorithm is wrong.”
You blink and turn your head, eyeing Seungcheol’s human eye, which is right beside you. Wonwoo frowns and steps closer, looking down at the tablet.
“How so?”
You tune it out, only registering his voice and not his words, watching as he points and explains where to make the change. You’re reminded of a time where Seungcheol would do this every day, and you would step back to let him do his thing. You can feel him now, right at your shoulder, his warmth so close you can almost perceive it. As you eye the side of his face, you fight the urge to kiss him. Or hug him. Anything. Your fingers twitch with it. Your heart yearns for it.
It’s over too quickly. And then he steps back.
Wonwoo is already taking the tablet from you, making adjustments as he thanks Seungcheol. You send him a little smile as he walks away, turning to look at the man on your side.
“That was very nice of you.” You say. He just nods a little sheepishly.
“It was an obvious solution.”
You shake your head, patting his arm as you move to walk past him. The metal is rigid and unforgiving under your fingers.
“Don’t be so modest. You were born for this.”
Seungcheol seems to be in a particularly good mood after that.
……………………….
Things get smoother as time goes by.
Something about going into work with you that one time clicks with Seungcheol. With all the material from your storage room, he starts tinkering with his old things again. There’s so many notes and designs, complete and incomplete blueprints keeping him occupied. He does it mostly in the living room, which you don’t mind. You’re glad he isn’t confined to his room. You like seeing him putter around the house or sit crosslegged on the floor, his metal arm whirring and clicking with every turn and movement. Sometimes, he sits out on the balcony when the weather is nice, and you join him with some tea or coffee. You don’t understand most of what he does, you never have, but you listen to him anyway. You bask in the way it lightens his voice, injects life into it. Sometimes, when he has come up with a new idea, he almost sounds exactly like he did before.
Your hope is increasing, tightening around your chest in a way that warms you up but traps you as well. Fear lingers, that this will all go away, that you’re balancing on a poorly strung tightrope and soon enough, you will fall.
And then that moment comes, the inevitable snap.
It’s a bright day, and you’re out for some groceries because you didn’t anticipate living with another person again, and your pantry is getting dangerously empty. You’re actually considering fresh produce instead of all the prepackaged crap you’ve been eating for so long. Seungcheol barely eats one meal a day, so it seems unfair if that one meal comes out of a box.
You’re considering which veggies to buy, lightly squeezing a tomato in your hand, when you feel something at your shoulder. It almost makes you jump, because it feels ominous, and your intuition is correct when you turn your head and come face to face with Yoon Jeonghan.
He’s in a black trenchcoat that nearly swallows his frame, a black cap on his head with dark strands poking out from under it. He looks particularly unassuming, just a casual shopper alongside you. His eyes are not on you, his lips pursed in what looks like consideration as he picks up another tomato, turns it around in his hand.
“This one is firmer.” He finally says, and his voice sounds jovial, casual, like it always does. “It will rot slower. You should get this.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” You grit out, your voice low to make sure no one hears you. One look around the aisle tells you that it’s empty. It’s just him and you. Your nerves are on high alert.
Jeonghan tuts, finally looking at you from the corner of his eye. “Is that any way to talk to a peer? You’ve become so rude, Y/N.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Sarcasm drips from your voice. “I didn’t realise I still had to extend common courtesy to you after you’ve tried to kill me. Twice.”
Jeonghan winces, then chuckles. “Yeah, that was my bad.”
You blink, waiting for him to continue. He doesn’t. He drops the tomato in his hand, picking up and inspecting another.
“That’s it?” You scoff. “‘My bad’? You try to get me killed by turning my husband into a half human killing machine and your response is ‘my bad’?”
“Well, you got him back, no?” He responds. “I would say that’s a huge improvement on whatever sad, bachelorette life you’ve been living all this time.”
You scoff, incredulous. “You’re so…. you’re-”
No words come. You just shake your head. Jeonghan looks at you again, this time, a sly smile crosses his face.
“How about a truce? I don’t try to kill you again, and I don’t demand my asset back from you. Consider it an apology for the attempts on your life.”
You glare at him, feeling anger bubble in you again. “Asset?”
He blinks, like he’s surprised. “Well, yes. Do you know how much Yoon Tech invested in developing him? It wasn’t easy. But it’s fine. I’ve made a lot of progress on bionic weaponry since then. So you can keep him.”
Your rage is boiling over at the way he is speaking of Seungcheol, but you know there’s a reason Jeonghan decided to ‘run into’ you at a public place. You can’t react the way you want to, which is the intense need to strangle him where he stands.
You know there’s nothing you can do about anything Jeonghan has attempted. His company is a mammoth, that and his military contract make him basically untouchable. The only proof you have of his doing is Seungcheol’s own person, and you don’t want to drag him into the legal mess that would ensue. Here Jeonghan stands, offering you a truce because he thinks he has won already, which is new bionic weapons branch going over so well and elevating him to a status no one else would dare to achieve. To him, you are not a threat anymore, and so he is discarding you just like he does with everyone else.
Considering all your options, you think being discarded by him might be the best case scenario here.
“Fine.” You finally relent, watching him smile and step back, almost in finality.
“Great. See you around, Y/N. You should attend next year’s New York expo. I’ve got great things lined up, you know? Maybe it will inspire something in you too.”
He winks and walks a few steps backward, that characteristic smirk on his face still, before turning around and sauntering away, the basket in his head still empty. You watch his back as he leaves, feeling some sense of resolution, no matter how bittersweet it may be.
People like Jeonghan never get justice, because they are too valuable to lose. He has made himself indispensable, which means he will continue to achieve new heights despite whatever operations he conducts in the dark. That’s the reality you live in.
The only saving grace here is that it’s not Seungcheol who will have to do his dirty work going forward.
………………………………….
You’re not really here, Seungcheol can tell.
There’s a distant look in your eyes, like you’re lost deep in thought, as you stir the pot sizzling on the stove. You’ve been like this since you got back with groceries, not greeting him with that usual sweet tone you always use. It’s a little detached, even though he can see that you're clearly attempting to appear normal. He offers to help make dinner, and you take him up on it, so he is quick to begin chopping vegetables as you prepare the rice. You work quietly, which is unlike you. Usually, you don’t stop talking, something he’s grown quite fond of.
The truth is, Seungcheol remembers you, in bits and pieces.
Voices and pictures pass through his brain, like flash cards being held up in front of him. There’s no rhyme and reason to them, no chronological order, like a CD stopping and starting at random intervals. You’re there in so many of them, right by his side, watching him, talking to him, touching him in places he wouldn’t dare let anyone touch. His fingers twitch when he feels it, like a ghost caressing his skin. Sometimes, he thinks he can feel you in his bones, coursing through his veins, and he wonders if he is connected to you in some way.
It scares him.
There’s nothing tangible there, no memory he can reach for and grab. As soon as he tries, it scatters like whisps. He knows he has lived a life, but he has no idea how that life went beyond rusty recollections that come and go. It sets him on edge, and so he never brings them up. He can’t, not when he knows for certain that you will cling onto them with unyielding hope. And he can’t have that burden on him when he already feels like he’s a shell of what he once was.
The only thing solid is you. But today, you’re far away as well.
“Something is bothering you.” He finally says when you’re eating at the kitchen island an hour later. There are dirty pots and pans in the sink. You will clean up after dinner. Right now, you move your food around absentmindedly, and Seungcheol doesn’t like this distance.
You blink and look at him, giving him a small smile that barely reaches your eyes. “Sorry, I’m just thinking about some stuff. Don’t worry about it.”
But he worries. He always worries, because you are all he has. So he pushes.
“Maybe I can help.”
You look a little surprised, and very touched, so your smile this time is more genuine.
“Thank you, Seungcheol, but really, I’m fine. The situation has resolved itself, I’m just going over it. There’s nothing to do.”
Seungcheol hesitates, but his intuition urges him to speak. “Is it Yoon Jeonghan?”
Your shocked expression tells him that he hit the nail on the head.
“How did you know?”
Seungcheol shrugs. He didn’t know, not for certain, but he had a feeling that Jeonghan wouldn’t just give up without one final attack, be it physical or psychological. It appears it was the latter.
“I’ve spent a long time with him.” He replies, pointedly ignoring your stare. “He’s- there’s a lot to him. Most of it isn’t good. I assumed he wouldn’t just leave this alone.”
Your chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “That’s just it, actually. He kind of has.”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrow. He listens intently as you finally open up, telling him about the encounter you had with the man at the grocery store. He lets the story linger for a bit after you’re done, absorbing the words.
“So, that’s it.” He finally says, but there’s uncertainty in his voice. He knows you hear it too. You sigh.
“I think, in his head, he’s still won because you’re not who you once were.” You add, turning back to your plate to push your food around. You don’t meet his eye. “He doesn’t think you’re a threat to him anymore because you have no memory. So by extension, I’m not a threat anymore either. I’m sure that to him, you’re-”
You pause, avoiding his stare. “You’re more like something he’s dumped on me. Because you’re not who you once were.”
You immediately look up as you say it, your eyes harder now, more resolute. “Which is not true. You’re still Seungcheol, even if you don’t remember. And I’m so happy you’re here with me, because I thought I would never see you again. Even with half of you still gone, you’re worth ten of him.”
Seungcheol’s heart squeezes, a feeling that is foreign to him, as he takes in the heated determination in your eyes. He realises that his fear, the sense of self he lacks, is not something that is well founded. You wouldn’t care that he remembers just snippets. You’re willing to accept him even as an empty husk.
He makes up his mind.
“You used to pour water into your half full shampoo bottle.” His throat tightens as he speaks. You blink, taken aback. “When we were in college. Because you had to make it last until your next paycheque.”
“And you liked those animal print socks. The pink panther ones. They were so warm. I was pretty annoyed that they wouldn’t fit me. So you got me black panther ones my size so we could match. I loved those so much. Every winter, I had to be careful how often I wore them because I didn’t want them to fray.”
You’re watching him speak, a thin layer of tears is shining in your eyes, and Seungcheol tries to soldier on.
“You got a bird clock for our first apartment that chirped every hour. God, I hated that thing. But you loved it so I never said anything.”
“I knew.” You speak, finally, your voice higher and breaking at the end. “You always got the most annoyed look on your face when it chirped. I thought it was funny to see how long you could take it.”
You let out a wet laugh. Seungcheol gives you a bitter smile.
“It’s only bits and pieces.” He explains, trying not to let guilt overwhelm him. “I don’t remember a lot. It’s just the little things that come to me.”
“It’s enough.” Tears make tracks down your cheeks. You reach forward, and Seungcheol feels the warmth of your hand as it curls around his human one. The contact makes something sizzle. It’s familiar. He remembers this clear as crystal. “It’s more than enough.”
He doesn’t let go. You don’t pull away.
………………………….
Things feel different. They are different now. The hope that felt like a noose around your neck, ready to tighten and kill you, is a much warmer feeling, blooming in your chest and transforming into a joy you haven’t felt in a really long time. You think Seungcheol has noticed. He notices more than you were previously giving him credit for. And it looks like he welcomes the change too.
Despite not eating much, Seungcheol busies himself with making you breakfast every morning. You tell him he doesn’t have to, but he shoots it down.
“I’m not sleeping anyway.” He retorts. “Besides, I used to do this before, didn’t I?”
You nod, smiling as you watch him scramble eggs in a pan. It was always this way back then. He would take care of breakfast, you would have lunch at the office, and then you would do dinner and he would clean up after. The domesticity of it, the harmony, is returning. Sometimes, when you’re getting ready to go into work in the morning and you can hear him hum in the kitchen, it’s almost like nothing has changed. Then, you take in the massive metal arm under his sleeveless tank top, and you’re reminded of what he has been through, and what you two have lost.
Sometimes late at night, you wonder what he would feel like. You wonder if he would let you touch him.
It’s hard being so close to Seungcheol but not being able to physically be too near him. Casual intimacy was always a part of your relationship, and you aren’t used to a version of Seungcheol you have to hold back from. When he often picks up on your moods, like being tired after work or being frustrated when something isn’t going right, you wonder if he can pick up on this, the intense yearning need you have to just feel his cheek on the crown of your head, or his hand curling over your hip like it used to all the time. Or his lips, always so soft and inviting, pressing delicately to yours.
You wonder if he knows. You wonder if he remembers, because he seems to remember so much these days.
A few days later, you ask Seungcheol if he feels at all ready to come back to work. The suggestion catches him off guard.
“Are you sure?”
You nod, shovelling large helpings of chicken into your mouth. You’re usually ravenously hungry by dinner time, and Seungcheol is always amused by it.
“Everything you’re doing at home, working on projects, improving on previous work, you used to do the same things at work. Project Development is all you, and after you helped Wonwoo work out that little algorithm problem, he’s been wanting to work with you more.”
You give him a smile, and it’s more teasing this time. “I don’t know if you remember this, but you were kind of a legend in tech circles before.”
Seungcheol huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “I don’t remember, but that thought makes me feel a little nauseous.”
You laugh, nudging his shin under the table. Seungcheol has always been shy about attention, but you know he secretly loves being recognised. He’s ambitious, even though he worries often, and acknowledgement from peers and juniors always affirms to him that he’s on the right path.
The next day, he’s getting ready to go into work as well.
He’s nervous, more so about his appearance than anything else. Bionic prostheses aren’t exactly common yet, even if they are getting more talked about recently. You know he’s conscious about the stares he will get, you can see the troubled expression on his face from a mile away.
“We don’t have to tell them you’re my husband. We can tell them you’re an employee.” You offer on the drive there. “From overseas. We’ll make up a story or something.”
His lip quirks up in a half smile.
“You think that's why I'm nervous?” He asks. You shrug.
“That’s the one thing I was never worried about.” He supplies.
Your heart flutters. You try to calm it down. It doesn’t mean anything, you try to tell yourself. But every word from him, every action, weighs so heavy with you. It always has. He’s the most important person in your life.
Seungcheol is relieved when the first person he sees at work is Wonwoo, the one face that is familiar to him. You know he is nervous, but he doesn’t show it a lot. That’s always been him, confident in stature, sure in his stance. All his little worries and doubts would only be reserved for you, and some part of you is elated that you still hold that position.
Unfortunately, you have to leave him for the day when Joshua finally catches up to you with the daily agenda. You’re swept up in work, but he’s always on the back of your mind. You’re just considering making a trip down to PD when a knock sounds on your door. A head of spiky blond hair pops in, and Seungcheol looks a little sheepish as he speaks.
“Lunch?”
For a second, you can’t breathe, swept up in memory after memory of him doing this exact thing since the day you started your company, when it was nothing but two rooms and a dinky office space. It’s so mundane, almost a negligible occurrence, but it was always the highlight of your work day. For five years, you would eat cold lunch at your desk on Joshua’s insistence, or you wouldn’t eat at all, because you no longer had someone to share that precious hour with. But he’s here now, part of his face reconstructed, but he’s here, and it feels like every second of your grief is washed away with one little word he says.
“Hey.” His soft voice breaks you from your thoughts. You blink, realising that your face feels wet. He has stepped inside the room, his face more cautious now.
“Sorry.” He sounds somber. “Did I do something wrong?”
You immediately shake your head, wiping your face hastily. “Not at all.”
Your voice wobbles. You elect to ignore it, standing up and quickly straightening yourself before walking to him. “Come on, let’s go eat.”
Seungcheol’s hand on your arm stops you from walking past him. He holds it softly, pulling you back so you can face him. You’re embarrassed at losing your composure like this. You don’t want to freak him out, or make him worry. You realise that in your happiness of having him back, you haven’t processed at all how overwhelming it is to have the love of your life come back from the dead, half of what he used to be.
It seems that he understands that as well.
Slowly, at an almost glacial pace, Seungcheol’s hand loosens its grip, but it doesn’t move away. Instead, he wraps it around you. His other arm follows, and while the juxtaposition of his arms is noticeable, one warm and forgiving, the other cold and stiff, you barely register it, because you can feel his heartbeat against where your ear presses to his chest. You feel yourself giving into his embrace. You’re starved for anything that is Seungcheol, you’ve been without him for too long. Your face crumples, and the tears come again.
You don’t stop them this time.
………………………………..
“It doesn’t look right.”
“It looks exactly like it should.”
“No, it doesn’t. Look again, I think you went wrong somewhere-”
“If you’re not going to be supportive, get the hell out. I don’t need this energy.”
“I’m just saying, if you had just gone to the store-”
“And I told you, she likes it better this way.”
“Right. And we’re supposed to trust your half-fried brain.”
“Man, fuck you.”
You try to tamp down the laugh bubbling in your throat, but it’s hard to do that when the bickering coming from your kitchen is so amusing. You resolutely keep your eyes on your laptop screen, because you promised not to intervene. But Seungcheol and Joshua keep getting louder the longer they work on baking this cake, and by the sound of it, Joshua is not impressed.
“You’re seriously going to serve this turd-pile to your wife? On her birthday?”
“It’s a turd-pile made with love.”
You know why Joshua keeps nagging Seungcheol. This is an age-old tradition. Seungcheol is not much of a baker, but you’re decent at it. You make all his birthday cakes because you know what flavors and icings he likes. And because you love doing it. Seungcheol always wants to return the favor, no matter how bad he is at it, and it always ends with a spectacularly dense or horrendous looking cake. The difference this time is Joshua dropping in to wish you a happy birthday and give you your present. Unfortunately, that was the exact moment Seungcheol started icing the cake, hence the racket in your kitchen.
But you don’t mind. In fact, you love it. You love that he keeps trying, every single year, and that he blocks off so many hours just to do it. When he had suggested it this time, you were taken aback. While you and Seungcheol had made steady progress in your relationship so far, you didn’t anticipate that he would remember this little tradition of yours. He holds your hand sometimes, he hugs you when he can. You both talk and talk, about previous memories, and about making new ones. You tell him often that you missed him badly, that you love him so much, and that you’re okay with him not saying it back, but you need to tell him because you always felt like you should have said it more before he was gone. Seungcheol is soft with you, careful, letting you explore your emotions as you let him explore his. Now that he’s with you again, you often feel like you have all the time in the world to just be in his presence.
Is it enough for you? Not by a long shot. Do you want to kiss him senseless? Every second of every day. But you will get there eventually. You have faith.
Joshua stays for the cake reveal, and when you gush over it, he merely lets out a pained sigh. You know it’s all an act. He is unbelievably happy for you, but you like it when he teases Seungcheol, baits him enough to irritate, even anger him. He excuses himself pretty quickly afterward, even when you offer for him to stay and have a slice.
“No offense, but I would rather chop off two limbs and let myself get brainwashed than taste whatever this is.”
“That was really offensive, actually.” Seungcheol replies dryly. You laugh, dipping your finger in the frosting to taste it. Coffee. Your favorite.
The cake is dense, almost inedible, but you love it regardless. You eat two whole slices, even though Seungcheol himself can stomach only one. He gives you a pained look.
“Well, you’re always going on about how you love the things about me that are the same as before. Are you glad I’m still a shit baker?”
You giggle and stand up, carrying your dirty plate to the sink. Then you walk over to him and give him a hug, wrapping your arms around his torso. He immediately returns it, and you can physically feel yourself relax.
“I love it even more.” You reply. You can feel his chest shake with a tiny laugh, and you feel his lips on the crown of your head.
“Happy birthday, baby.” He whispers. Your breath hitches at the petname, your old favorite, and you look up at him, your chin on his chest. He’s watching you, eye like a warm pool, soft and inviting. His human hand reaches up, caressing your cheek. You wish, for a split second, that he would just lean down and…..
He does.
When his lips meet yours, they’re hesitant. It’s barely there, like a ghost of a sensation, but you melt into it, pushing up on your toes a little so you can feel him more as you kiss him back. He melts into it, sighing into your mouth, his grip around your waist tightening when he registers your enthusiasm. The metal of his left arm feels solid, and it almost leaves you immobile, but you love it, because it presses every line of your body to every plane of his. Your hands find his neck, his jaw, slipping back to run over the tiny strands over the back of his head. It makes him shiver. You feel it. Your lower stomach stirs.
The kiss gets firmer, hotter. Seungcheol tilts his head, slots his lips deeper into yours. You feel his tongue against the cushion of your bottom lip, and your mouth opens almost out of instinct. You let out your first moan when his tongue slides hot and wet against yours.
“We should-” His voice cracks. Your head spins. “We should slow down.”
He kisses you again, fiercely. Your thighs are already crushing together for relief.
“Yeah.” You agree, pulling him down more by the shoulders, wanting him to curl and wrap around you. He complies immediately, hands sliding lower until he’s tugging on the backs of your thighs and lifting you up onto the kitchen island. You’re level with his face now, not willing to stop kissing him, not willing to take even a breath that doesn’t come straight from his mouth. You tug hard on the hair at the top of his head, the ones long enough to grip. He groans, and the sound makes your hips jerk hard into his.
“Fuck, don’t do that.” He rasps.
You do it again, grinding slower this time, your legs around his waist keeping him in place. He hisses. You can feel the bulge in his jeans, and you clench around nothing, registering how hard he already is. You need him so badly that it makes you dizzy. If he stops now, you think you might cry.
“Cheol-” You gasp, your hands digging into his shirt and tugging hard. You need it off, you need to feel all of him, properly, and it feels like he’s on the same page, because he’s reaching back, pulling the shirt off his shoulders until it’s gone. His hands are quick, sliding under your blouse until it’s bunching up, making you raise your arms. He pulls it off.
Finally, you see him.
Seungcheol was always well built. Broad in all the right places, thick neck, wide shoulders, the large expanse of his chest, his abs. Now, he’s even more cut, and you wonder if it has to do with the life he was living for the last five years. Your eye catches his bionic arm, right at the junction where it meets his skin. Your hands, idly running over his bare skin, follow your gaze, stop just where the skin looks more pink.
“Does it hurt?” You ask, voice low. Seungcheol shakes his head, watching you intently.
“It used to, when it was new. But it’s more numb now than anything.” He mutters. He flexes the arm, the plates click and whir, a low, metallic sound that echoes in the silence of the kitchen. You let your thumb run over the skin, right at the edge. Seungcheol doesn’t react as he watches your fingers except with a tiny laugh.
“I guess if they were more careful, it might have looked a little better.” He mumbles, eyes still on your movements. His own run absentmindedly over your bare waist. You shrug.
“I don’t know, it’s pretty hot.”
He looks up at you, his single eyebrow shooting up in surprise. He barks out a laugh, shaking his head.
“Freak.”
You hum and tighten your legs around his waist again, pulling him closer. “You used to love it.”
Something in his eye gleams, a mischievous little twinkle. The white, flat circle on the other side seems to turn and shift, almost like it’s gleaming too. You wonder what he sees through it. His lip ticks up in a tiny smirk. “Oh, I know.”
He leans down, running his lips over the side of your neck. His hands are more purposeful now, sliding up to fiddle with the buckle of your bra. He unhooks it smoothly, letting his touch float up your arms so he can pull the straps down. You sigh when his tongue runs over your skin, nipping just under your ear, the spot that has always made you shiver.
“I remember a lot of things.” He rasps. “More and more as the days go by. And I like to go over them sometimes, when I lay in bed at night, or when you walk around in just that large shirt of mine you wear when you sleep. You think I don’t know what you’re doing, baby? Goading me, baiting me, testing me.”
“I’m- I’m not-” But your brain is melting at the moment his teeth dig a little harder into your skin. He’s going to leave a mark, not that you give a fuck, and all it’s doing is making you even more lightheaded.
He hums. You know he doesn’t believe you. His hands are already circling around, kneading softly on your breasts, making you sigh. He thumbs over your nipples, nipping at your neck a little harder when they peak under his touch. His touch sends shivers down your spine, one hand soft and warm, the other hard and cold. You’re not used to the contrast, but it feels wonderful. You wonder how it will feel in all the other places you want him to touch, and your impatience grows.
“Cheol, take me inside.” You whimper, clenching around nothing again and feeling your desperation grow. He doesn’t respond verbally, but his hands find your hips, gripping tightly to lift you up. You wrap yourself around him, using that moment to tongue at his neck as he walks you both down the hall to your bedroom. He has been inside only a handful of times, since he still sleeps on his own, but you know that’s about to change today. You’re never letting him leave again.
He doesn’t separate from you for even a second, laying you down on the mattress and joining you on it at the same moment, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that is even more heated, but not any less exploratory. His weight on you feels familiar, glorious, and you bask in the feeling of being pressed down. His tongue runs over any crevice of your mouth it can reach, saliva mixing with his in a way that makes you shiver all over. When you run your hands over his back and feel the familiar muscle shift and tense under your touch, you remember how much you missed this, and it makes your breath hitch.
You want him completely naked against you, and the need feels as urgent as air entering your lungs.
Your shirt and bra are already gone, but his clothes and the rest of yours now quickly follow. He kisses any part of you he can in between every article that gets tugged off by you or by him. Your right calf presses against the cold metal of his leg, and it shocks you back into reality a little bit. You’re aware that while you’ve done this countless times with him, it’s different now. You slow down the kisses, nibbling more indulgently at the plush on his bottom lip.
“Are you okay with this?” You whisper. “I know this is a lot-”
“I was going to ask you that.” He chuckles into your mouth. His eye flutters open, and it has softened, shining with reverence. Your lips twitch up into a smile.
“I’ve wanted this for so long.” You reach up, running a gentle hand through his hair. His metal ear feels rigid and cool. “I’ve missed you more than I can say. I didn’t-”
Your voice catches. Seungcheol waits with all the patience in the world.
“I didn’t think I could ever have this again.”
His forehead rests gently against yours, and your eyes flutter when you feel your breaths mix where your lips touch.
“I know I’m not all the way there.” He whispers. “I know there’s so much missing. And some days, it’s so difficult to reconcile the older version of me with this new reality. But I’m getting better every day. And I…. I miss you too. I miss what we had and who I used to be.”
Your eyes cloud. Seungcheol carefully thumbs under them, not letting the tears spill. When he kisses you again, it feels far more meaningful, like parts of you and him are coming to an understanding together. It’s easy to build up the heat again, and there’s an underlying layer of need in it now that has you writhing and moaning under him in no time.
“Easy, princess.” He hums, carefully running his hands up your thighs before fitting his hips between them. “I’ve got you.”
Princess. You whine. That’s an old favorite bedroom nickname of his. Seungcheol loved to spoil you. He’s a giver at heart, so the name is apt, and one he used to shower you with frequently. He grinds on your core, and you can feel the slide of his hard shaft through your wet folds. It makes you gasp, the slow drag making you feel each and every ridge of him. Your opening clenches hard, you arch into him, and your nails dig into the skin of his back.
“Don’t-” Your chest rattles with your inhale. “Don’t tease me. Please, I’ve waited so long, Cheolie. Don’t make me wait even more-”
When his head catches against your opening on the next grind, you moan low, eyelids fluttering. His nose brushes yours, you know he’s watching, and you bask in the feeling of his gaze on you. He pushes a little more, breaching you, and takes his glorious time sliding in at a snail’s pace. Your walls struggle with his girth, not used to being penetrated, left empty for too long, but you think at this point, Seungcheol is embedded in your DNA. Your body knows him, recognises him, like it’s an old, dormant instinct. You open up for him like he’s meant for you, and when he groans in shaky approval, you know he feels it too.
“Made for me, aren’t you?” He whispers into your mouth, taking advantage of your moaning to lick over your lips, nipping and sucking at them. “Taking me like you’re meant for me. Haven’t fucked you in years, but your little pussy still knows me, right?”
God, he needs to stop talking like that. So vulgar, coming from his mouth, but so sexy that it makes you dizzy. The ceiling is spinning, half from the feel of him, and half from the words he is whispering right past your lips. He bottoms out finally, and stills, throbbing and twitching inside you. You can feel it, it tugs on your walls, sending little sparks shooting through your core.
“Love how tight you are, baby.” He continues, pulling away from you to sit back a bit. You almost whine in protest, but then his thumb finds your clit and rubs tight little circles over it. You sigh, toes curling. “But I need you to loosen up a little bit, okay? Need to fuck you properly and I can’t do that when you’re gripping me like this.”
It’s a combination of his words and the waves of pleasure traveling up from your clit, but he finally feels enough give to rock back and forth, his back undulating with every stroke. He starts off slow, both of you just enjoying the delicious drag of him in and out. Every movement makes him brush up teasingly against your sweet spot, makes stars burst in your vision. You feel like you’re already on the brink, and he has barely started.
“Fuck.” He chokes, and you can see his throat bob as he swallows. A thin layer of sweat coats his porcelain skin, making the light of your bedside lamp shift over him. His hair, not almost fully brown with just the tips of the blond remaining, is matted on his forehead. His eye is closed, eyelid fluttering, mouth slightly parted as his breath rattles in and out. He grunts quietly every few strokes, his abs clenching, his neck and chest flushed a pretty pink.
You could come just looking at him like this.
He picks up the pace finally, and you gasp at the change, arching into him a little. He’s watching you now, but you’re too busy registering how good he feels, the perfect, tight drag of him, now more forceful, hitting every spot that sends pleasurable shocks up your spine. The bed groans, his thrusts get harder. On either side of your head, his fingers fist the bedsheet. Beneath the moans and sighs, you can hear the very low but distinct whir of metal emanating from his moving limbs.
Your brain stutters, and your hands move before you can think about it too much. They find his metal wrist, circling around it slowly and lifting it to place it right at the base of your throat. Seungcheol’s eye widens.
“You’re sure?” He asks. You nod.
“Please.”
Your skin is so heated that the cool contrast of his hand feels relieving and glorious. Something in his wrist clicks, and then his hold on your throat tightens just a bit. Your eyes flutter, mouth dropping open. You whine.
Seungcheol groans and his thrusts get harder, hips now slamming into yours over and over, the tip just gently kissing the cervix in the way that lights your lower stomach on fire. His grip is unrelenting, just tight enough to make you a little light headed and every movement feel even more intense than it usually does. You can’t speak, can’t warn him as your orgasm comes barrelling into you at full speed. You can only clench hard and cry out as it washes over you. Seungcheol doesn’t slow, but watches you with something akin to awe and unbridled lust in his eyes. His hand loosens only as you come down, letting you take in a long gulp of air.
“That was so sexy, baby, fuck.” He sounds as wrecked as you feel. He’s grinding into your pussy, pushed all the way in to the base, letting you feel every inch of him. “Can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner. Could’ve had you under me every night looking like that.”
You find the sides of his neck, tugging him down to kiss him fiercely. “Get your fill now, Cheolie. Make up for lost time.”
Your words spur him on. He pulls out abruptly, but he doesn’t let you miss him for too long, tugging your leg to maneuver you so you’re on your stomach, arms folded under your head, and his body draped over your back, warming your sweat-cooling skin. His knees frame your thighs. He nudges your legs apart just enough to slide inside, and the shift in angle has your jaw going slack. You feel his grip on your hips, one soft, one hard, holding you in place as he immediately sets a brutal pace. You don’t mind, you’ve always loved it when Seungcheol uses all that impressive muscle he has built to manhandle and use you like this. It’s unbelievably hot to you. This position feels even more intense, leaves you even more boneless, and your previous high has left you so sensitive that this one builds up in no time.
His thrusts are getting sloppy, less precise and more like he just wants to plop you into the mattress. His moans are more uninhibited now, his grip tighter to the point you know he will leave bruises that you will wear proudly. His breath hits the back of your neck. He reaches down, biting into your shoulder at the exact moment he groans loud and empties himself in you. The warmth of him, the grind of his head into your walls, is what sends you over the edge for a second time. Both your bodies writhe on the mattress, him pressing you into it until you feel like you are melting into him. He curses low in your ear as his body relaxes, and the sound makes you shiver.
You lay like that for what feels like an eternity, letting the rise and fall of his chest guide your own breathing. When he finally moves, detaching himself, you grumble in protest.
“I was warm.” You complain. You can hear him laugh a little.
“I’ll warm you up again, baby, don’t worry. Come on.”
Your interest is piqued, and you turn your head to the side to peer at him. His whole face seems to have smoothed, soft and glowing in a way you haven’t seen him in a while. It makes a smile tug on your lips, and you turn over slowly to face him. He doesn’t waste any time in lifting you up, another sensation that will take some getting used to. His human arm is warm on your back, but his metal one digs just under your knees. You don’t mind, not at all, it’s part of him, something he got involuntarily but made his own. He has used it to inflict pain in the past, but from now on, he will do nothing but good with it.
You watch him with heavy eyes as he places you on the bathroom vanity and gets to running a warm bath. You admire his back, soft and pale, smattered with little freckles, and slightly pink at the edges where skin meets metal. The plates dig into the skin, and you know he said it doesn’t feel like anything now, but you wonder if it hurts even just a little.
The slightest hint of his pain, even a negligible smidge of it, is unacceptable to you. You make a mental note to ask Wonwoo if he can look into bionic prostheses. Not weapons, like Jeonghan has developed. You have no interest in that. He can have his military contracts and his glory. There’s nothing in it for you.
Everything you want is in this tiny bathroom, dipping his metal fingers into the water to check the temperature, only to realise he can’t feel with that limb. You collapse into giggles and he smiles sheepishly, ears turning red, using his other hand as a toothy grin takes over his face.
Summary: It's been a while since Mingyu and yourself have explored life outside of your busy schedules. Lucky for you, an engagement announcement leads to a weeklong vacation, and it brings a little more than just relaxation and a multitude of reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
Pairing: Mingyu x afab!reader | ft. cheol & chan
wc: ~9.2k
tw/tags: slice of life, established relationship, long-time sweethearts to lemme give u my last name, non-idol members, fluff, smut, sort of pwp?? but there's SOME plot, very needy and whiney Gyu (no surprise there), sort of dom!reader, pussy whipped gyu, semi-exhibitionism (friends are close by), blue balling, dry humping, oral fixations, TEETH, come swallowing, slight pain kink, mouth fingering, hair pulling, pet names; puppy, baby, babe, love, brat, dork, pretty boy etc...
< envy yaps: this wasn't the fic I intended to post for gyu, but since i scrapped the nearly 90% completed one, i had to make up for it in between my training / meetings at work :( anyways, i hope you all enjoy it either way + can excuse my lack of posts, i have too many scenes playing in my head but no idea or motivation to figure out how to fit it all into less than a million redundant words + phrases lol. please like, reblog and comment! it lets me know to keep posting!! xoxo
"Are you sure this is the right place?"
"This is the only address they sent. So... yes?"
"Okay... just don't hit anything on the way in. Like that log--"
"Oh fuck."
"Mingyu! Seriously?"
"I didn't see it! I swear!"
Your boyfriend holds up both palms, attempting to appease the cranky beast wearing your skin. It had been a four-hour drive. A long, winding, and gps-failing drive. And he had the inkling that you weren't too ecstatic about... well, anything at this point.
Within the first hour of the road trip, you'd managed to recreate a chaotic version of the once carefully coordinated map your friends had sent you; with loops and turns they surely hadn't suggested. And after passing the third intended exit and cursing your innocent boyfriend for being a 'passenger peasant', you forfeited the wheel to him on the side of a random, desolate highway.
Needless to say, Mingyu was far past the point of redemption. You'd made that very clear to him at the last pit stop; His breathing was too loud. He reeked of the cologne he'd practically bathed himself in this morning. His lips were too dry for kissing away your frustration. His directions were shit. He couldn't avoid any of the potholes you'd warned him of from nearly a mile back--
Then, to top it all off, he just rammed your recently-fully paid-off Jeep into a stray log you'd pointed out to him far too late. But at least you both made it to the location in one piece!
How long would that last? He doesn't know, and he isn't going to stay in the car long enough find out.
"Hey! Glad you guys made it!" Seungcheol's hair bounces while striding over to you, assisting you both with carrying bags and other miscellaneous items you'd packed into the trunk.
"We were beginning to think we should file a missing person report for you once the three-hour mark hit." He admits, tongue-in-cheek.
The glare you flash at your partner lands cooly against the side of his paled face, not once connecting with the eyes you so desperately wanted to bore every ounce of your frustration into.
Mingyu doesn't dare to face you, nor mention any true details when he responds to his friend, "Ha! Yeah.. we just made a few stops on the way to take pictures and stuff."
Thankfully, Seungcheol doesn't probe after that and instead ushers you both inside to greet everyone else inside the lake house.
It was almost a month ago when Seungcheol and his girlfriend had finally announced their engagement. And along with a congratulatory message, Chan had proposed the idea of celebrating with a weeklong getaway to the lake house his family rented out occasionally. Mingyu and yourself were invited; hence your extended travel.
With the three couples now reunited, the group ventured into the conversation regarding their well-anticipated vacation and the tasks and activities they were hoping to indulge in throughout the following days.
Despite the rocky start, you too had been eagerly counting down the days leading up to today. It'd been so long since you had requested any time off from work, let alone treated yourself to such a relaxing and well-deserved vacation.
As of late, work had seeped into your personal schedule and set things off balance for you, and in return, you'd gained a daily migraine and a newfound passion for bed rotting on the days you did have time to yourself.
However, you weren't completely at a loss. Mingyu was there to uplift you, coddle you, cheer you on when deadlines were fraying your last scraps of hope.
You couldn't possibly confine your gratitude and adoration for your boyfriend into only a few words, so when the opportunity arose for you both to spend quality time together, you were beyond elated.
You both needed this.
After a few minutes of chatting and catching up with the two couples, Mingyu and yourself plod along to the bedroom Chan had assigned to you.
Mingyu wastes no time upon entering the room, carelessly tossing your shared belongings onto one of the two full sized beds and flopping face down into the other.
"Man, I'm drained." He groans.
The same fatigue weighs unbearably on your shoulders, dampening your mood completely. Huffing, you trudge toward your strewed bags, sluggishly moving them off of the bed that Mingyu has apparently allotted to you.
You do your best to ward off your frustration with Mingyu's carelessness, opting to give him the benefit of the doubt considering he was forced to endure your irritable attitude for the majority of the drive.
You just hoped this wasn't some type of foreshadowing for the rest of the week.
"You could've at least put the stuff on the ground so I could lay down too." You complain halfheartedly.
In one moment, he's lifting his head from the comforter to peer over at you with a pinched expression, and in the next, he's bounding towards you before you can fully register it. His hands brace your waist, firm and intentional as he directs you to the now warm spot he previously claimed.
"This is our bed." He states forwardly while bending at the knee to untie your shoes. "Did you think just 'cause you're a little moody and on vacation mode meant you'd catch a break from me?"
You blow out your flushed cheeks and sigh dramatically, too embarrassed and exhausted to play into his banter. His eyes trail your features for a beat when he stands. Soon after, the warm pads of his fingers mark a path across your skin, laying delicately against your jaw.
"Tired?"
Nodding wordlessly, you watch him climb into the bed beside you. He reels you in close, caging you against him with a firm hand on the small of your back as his opposite fist props his head up.
"...'m sorry for snapping at you." You murmur coyly.
Mingyu's blinks slow. His softened stare shifting to your lips.
You notice. You always do.
"I know." He speaks. "It's been a long day, but at least we're here. You can rest up and dream peacefully about me now."
You grunt at his comment, feigning disgust to tease him. The grin on his face is stupidly endearing, and you find yourself mirroring his expression despite your eyes fluttering shut.
It surprises you at times; four years have passed and his devoted attachment to you has yet to dwindle. Or as his family claims, his puppy love hasn't fizzled out. And at this rate, you doubt it ever will.
"Don't act like you don't dream about me, baby. I've heard you calling for me in your sleep a few times."
You peel your eyes open to squint at him. "I have not! And I don't dream about you, you dork."
"You do." He smirks before flicking your forehead in retaliation with the argument of being 'even' now. "It's okay though, I don't mind. It lets me know I'm doing my job."
"And what exactly is your job?"
Leaning into your space, his entirety invades your senses. Your skin prickles under his cool breaths as he noses at your chin, chuckling when you alert him of being ticklish. As if he hasn't mapped every inch of you for years, well versed in the handful of spots that have you writhing, crying, and whimpering for him.
"My job is..." He trails off.
Unsuspecting, you're forced to endure his unprovoked attack. His touch rakes over your sides repeatedly, breaching every inch of skin beneath your sweatshirt to place featherlike strokes along your body. You struggle underneath his tortuous ministrations, clawing at his arms helplessly while begging for mercy.
Only, the pinch to his bicep, the boisterous squeal and the writhing of your torso seem to egg him on further, his grip on you unrelenting as he continues to tickle you.
He eventually pauses to chide into your ear, "My job is to love you so much that you don't ever have to wonder what anything otherwise feels like. You are my everything, and I'm yours. Whether you want me or not."
Your chest inflates with each erratic inhale you take to recollect yourself.
You're familiar with Mingyu's empowerment, his reassurance, his effortless passion for all things involving you.
But this?
This was unrehearsed. Raw. Truth right at the core.
"Gyu," Your voice wavers, cracking under the straining lump in your throat. Your chin trembles slightly at the sudden whiplash he's put your emotions through.
"Are you crying? Why are you crying? Please don't cry!" He blurts, sandwiching your face in between his palms until your lips are puckered.
Your digits wrap around his wrists, reinforcing his hold as he captures your lips in his. Dramatics be damned, your boyfriend knew exactly what to do to get his way. He was a hopeless romantic through and through, and when it came to craving your affection, he'd do and/or say anything to woo you into submission.
Tonight's situation was no different.
His laugh bounces within the four walls of your room; a sound worth bottling for later.
His hands are gone from one moment to the next, leaving you slightly breathless and admittedly dizzy from the sudden switch up.
Still hovering over you, Mingyu watches you closely, smile stretched across the dewy slope of his cheeks. He knows his wires are most likely crossed somewhere because your mere presence stuns him to near cardiac arrest every time his eyes find you.
And its moments like this, pressed in close, that he often wonders; if he gets any closer to you, would he be able to catch the sound of your barreling heart too?
With Mingyu deep in thought, you utilize the brief moment to capture his wrists and pin them above his head once you've mustered enough strength to roll him onto his back. The abrupt tackle is all it takes to throw Mingyu off his axis, landing directly underneath your scrutinizing stare.
Again, call him deranged, but he doesn't perceive anything besides love behind your crazed appearance. If anything, it's what fuels his own deepest desires; shaping his lips into the lopsided, smitten smile he wears now.
You give his hips a tantalizing squeeze between your knees, calling his name to break him out of his lovestruck trance. He responds with a feigned groan accompanied by a dramatic toss of his head.
"Spare me this once, beautiful. I can't take it, you're just too powerful."
You fend off a smile and clutch his wrists a little tighter.
The same laugh from earlier cuts through the air as he clenches and unclenches his fists under your grip, peeling one of his eyes open to assess you from his peripheral vision.
"Are you enjoying this?" You jest.
"Not yet." He quips while simultaneously escaping your restraints and locking your lips with his, moving starved and unmeasured.
You revel in the moan that coats your tongue, elated when his body responds under your grasp via the flex of his thighs and the subtle tremble in the hands curved over your ass. You're eager to get him closer to the edge of his ascending pleasure, working your hips against the front of his taut jeans with vigor.
"Guys? We're heading out to the store to pick up a few groceries for the week--"
The gasp at the door indicates a new presence and based on the sudden dip in her usual tone, you know you've officially earned yourself a lifetime's worth of apologies on both yours and Mingyu's behalf. Not only to Nari, but to Chan; who just so happened to have been tailing his girlfriend closely.
With Mingyu pinned below you and still actively holding your ass, you strain your upper half to face the couple at the door.
"I'm so sorry... um. We'll meet you outside in five minutes."
Per your boyfriend's logic, the fuss isn't significant enough to derail his plans as he proceeds to chase after your attention. He's so far gone, so nonchalant enough to wriggle his way into a seated position just to litter the side of your throat with open-mouthed kisses.
Blanching, you shove at his chest, blindly fighting him off behind you.
The embarrassment of being found in the least demure position possible sets every inch of your skin ablaze, Mingyu's suctioning mouth and ravenous nipping proving to be little help.
Nari has since turned around while Chan shuts your door with a clearing of his throat. You hang your head as he calls from the hall, "Yup! We'll be outside! Take your time."
"Finally." Mingyu grumbles, squirming from the distance your extended arm supplies against his chest. Leveling him with an incredulous stare, you shove his shoulders until he falls backwards onto the bed.
"Are you kidding me? You couldn't at least wait until they left to give me a hickey?" You seethe while marching towards the door, unfazed by his tormented cries.
"You've officially lost all pussy privileges, Mingyu."
"Wait! No!"
The atmosphere is tainted beneath the evening's burnt orange gleam, nestled into the crooks and curves of the six bodies draped across lawn chairs, just short of the lake's dock.
The bonfire Seungcheol had started an hour or so ago breezes past your exposed ankles from under the towel sitting at your waist, surfacing a layer of goosebumps across your skin.
Draped over your shoulders are Mingyu's arms, embracing you from where he stands behind your chair—mindlessly seeking the comfort of your kinship. Instinctually, your body melts into his touch, tacitly imploring for more.
Spending years essentially conjoined at the hip pays off in moments like this; when Mingyu doesn't rely on a single verbal cue to understand each and every one of your voiceless quirks, habits and requests.
It's how he's able to identify your wordless plea now; to which he honorably responds to with a feather light kiss to the crown of your head.
He murmurs a string of praise into your hair, planting another kiss to the bare skin of your shoulder and inhaling the fresh aroma of your sun kissed flesh.
"You cold?" He asks while running the tips of his fingers up and down your arms.
You lift your chin to peer behind you, coming face to face with your lover. He smiles, an authentic, exclusive gesture dedicated for your soul only. You mirror it with your own, disregarding the beer you had in your hold to cradle one of sun-tanned cheeks.
"Pretty girl." He coos.
Your head swims with pleasure, keen to exist in this intimate bubble that encapsulates you both, even if it's for a fleeting moment. Your surroundings morph into background noise as you shut your eyes temporarily, basking in his affection.
One of his hands leaves your arm, alternatively rooting yours in its place against his cheek to press his lips to the inside of your palm. He lingers there for a moment before pulling away, a faint trace of a frown splitting between his brows.
"You are cold."
You shrug nonchalantly without looking away, gauging his response curiously. He fidgets with the strap of your bikini top briefly.
"As much as I love admiring you in this cute little number, I prefer to have my girl fully bundled up and warm when I kiss her."
"I know but if I go inside to change, I won't want to come back out and I really don't want the night to end yet.." You whine, already pulling away from his hold to focus on the sea of overlapping conversations around you.
"I know, I know, but I can't risk having you catch a cold. Come on. We'll be quick, I promise."
You give a defeated, begrudging wave to the group as you finish your beer, stalling for a moment in silent hope of convincing Mingyu to stay a little longer.
Being the expert in all things regarding you, he catches on and gives you a disapproving shake of his head before taking measures into his own hands.
Supporting your thighs and head in his arms, Mingyu lifts you from your chair and makes the effortless trek back to the lodge. Your sandal-clad feet swing aimlessly from their airborne height, occasionally landing against his hip as he shuffles through the doors.
After shouldering past the final obstacle leading to your bedroom, Mingyu sets you down at the edge of the bed with a chaste kiss, then tasks himself with scavenging through your bag for a warmer outfit.
You watch the bulk of his muscles flex with his movements, grateful for the afternoon's swimming session for blessing you now with the mouthwatering sight of your shirtless boyfriend.
The soft tune he hums under his breath comes to a pause as he returns with a neat stack of clothes, claiming the space in between your legs to hand them over to you.
"I can't believe you were out there freezing your ass off. And for what? To torment me with your beauty? 'Cause it worked."
You can't help the boisterous cackle that slips from your throat, creasing your eyes into crescents as you smile mischievously.
"Let's get you out of this poor excuse of a bathing suit." He suggests sweetly. "I'll help you get nice and warm, 'kay?"
"Only if you also put a shirt on because—what was it that you said?—Oh; I prefer my man to be nice and warm when I suck his dick."
He's in the middle of unbuckling your shorts when his fingers tighten their pinched grip at your zipper. "I don't recall saying anything about that."
"Hm, maybe not, but the implication was there."
He peers up at you incredulously and you grin.
Mingyu's own fond chuckle combines with your lingering giggles, nostalgia settling deep into that familiar nook in your chest. The nook that treasured this banter, this closeness, this love you'd laid a claim on long before you both had made anything official in the beginning.
The memory manifests in your mind; of Mingyu's distant laughter when you'd rant to him about trivial situations at work until you were red in the face, or when you'd unintentionally allow your face to speak for you in awkward situations and he'd laugh throughout his reminder for you to reign it in. It being your chronic RBF.
And even during the quietest of moments, when he'd invite you to his quaint, unfurnished apartment and you'd both lay on the floor for hours, laughing at nothing and everything at the same time.
It didn't matter as long as you were together, enjoying the natural easiness of coexisting in the myriad of moments you knew to be your narrative's budding storyline.
You blink away the reminiscent tears threatening to spill over, pivoting your attention to the present Mingyu.
He's caught on to your silence, of course, and has already begun to catch your rolling tears with his thumb. He doesn't utter a word to you, and you prefer it that way. You're confident in his ability to read you and all of your feelings, anyways.
His forehead nudges yours playfully as he leans forward, guiding you to lay flat on your back with his body caging yours from above. His delicate touch ebbs away at the remnants of your overwhelming mood, supplying you with the attentiveness you accept with open arms.
Your smile gradually fades into a much softer, vulnerable simper.
"Well," You prompt, voice raspy while drawing your gaze to the rich, velvety depth of his fawn-eyed stare. "You said you'd keep me warm, so get to it, big guy."
There isn't a hint of hesitation in his movements as he dips his head to nip at your jaw. A bolt of greed strikes through you and straight to your core, sparking your sensitivity by tenfold.
You exhale a weak sigh while he works his way down your torso before parking his mouth at the hem of your swimming bottoms. Your eyes meet shortly. Mingyu pauses, awaiting the green flag. For permission.
You give him a persistent nod, and he disappears out of reach, collapsing to his knees and cradling the back of your thighs in his large hands. You're approaching the brink of impatience when his fingers remove your bottoms with one swift yank, admiring your bareness to its full potential with the barrier between him and your sweet cunt now long gone.
Your toes curl in anticipation of what's to come. Your mouth salivating at the mere idea of having him so close when you already feel so high, heedlessly plummeting yourself deeper into your crazed infatuation.
The creeping presence of his mouth on your folds is nothing but a short-lived greeting. A farewell to your libido before it even had the chance to introduce itself.
You practically howl out in protest as he curls his fingers around your ankles, guiding a new set of panties and sweats up your legs and then having the audacity to place two—emphasis on the TWO—pathetic pecks to each of your calves on the way up.
Mingyu's shoulders quiver at the expense of his breathless laughter.
Yes. He is Laughing.
Laughing at you? With you? You don't know.
And at this point, you don't bother with the details, choosing instead to dedicate the entirety of your frustration to him and his entire bloodline.
"Oh you're such a jerk." You hiss while launching yourself up into a seated position.
"You know, I'm beginning to think you enjoy having blue balls."
"You're the only horny one here, babe. I'm chillin'." He replies, smug.
"Besides, weren't you the one who put the pussy ban in place literally three days ago?"
You offer him a scoff and cross your arms over your chest as he reaches for your bikini top. His hands freeze midair when you peel it off yourself and wretch your t-shirt from the bed, grumbling under your breath while dragging it over your head.
You stomp your way towards the door before turning back, glowering.
"Don't come crawling to me when your dick is bordering falling off later."
Your snide warning weighs on Mingyu's lower abdomen as his eyes trail after your retreating form. A troubled sigh enters the room as he changes, thoughts scrambled while he sifts through his luggage for a fresh pair of socks.
His fingers graze over the distinct velvet material cradled at the bottom of the suitcase before settling on what he'd been searching for, combing through his disheveled hair with the opposite hand.
"Three more days, two more nights." He murmurs to himself.
"I can do this."
It's in the wee hours of Friday morning when your dreams depart and the discomfort of your racing thoughts replace them. There's something off, something missing, and it urges your eyes to flutter beneath your eye lids, frantic.
You hear the muffled presence of someone rustling in the hallway from beyond your door first; piquing your interest enough to jostle you out of your slumber. The second peculiarity presents itself in the chilling absence of your partner, Mingyu.
The seemingly perfect cut-out of his frame has been left in his place atop the crumpled sheets, indicating that he was laying with you at some point. The question was; where was he now?
You're tossed into an oblivion of questions and what-if scenarios coursing through your groggy headspace. With a rub of your eyes and a glance at the time on your phone, you peel the comforters back and tread towards the door on unsteady legs.
The noise has since traveled further out when you turn the knob and step out into the night's dim ocean of blue hues. A dull glint cascading through the curtained windows and over the oakwood features of the home illuminates your path.
Your head swivels towards the slight movement in your peripheral, your sleep-glazed stare catching sight of a shadowed figure hunched over the kitchen counter.
Had you not accompanied Chan on the task of locking up and securing the home every night, you would have crawled beneath the covers as tears clung to your lashes, dreading the unknown outcome of having an intruder, out for blood, roaming inside the house while everyone slept.
Thankfully, your safety in the home was undebatable, and far more importantly, you're beyond unamused by the rude disruption of your sleep to question your next decision.
After hearing the soft clank of glass and Mingyu's recognizable husky curse, you mindlessly saunter his way and instinctively embrace him from behind as he's faced away from you.
His body jerks and a sharp yelp slips out. Whipping around in your arms, Mingyu gives you a once over and his once bugging eyes soften with familiarity. He pulls you in closer to his chest, hand forking through your hair as you rest against him.
“What’re you doing up?” You voice is slightly muffled by his shirt.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he answers, frowning. “Just kept thinking... so I came out to get some water.”
You adjust your head to look up at him; eyes now fixated on his milky brown irises. His face blooms into a passive smile, cupping your cheek in his large palm.
“Thinking ‘bout what?” You murmur.
His unoccupied hand rests above your tail bone, inching lower and lower as his breath pulls into a sharp inhale.
“About…you.” He admits and despite just having woken up, your nervous system is already kicking and running wild at the statement.
“Me?” You frown slightly, curious. “What about me?”
You follow the motion of his lolled head cocking backwards, his eyes now facing the ceiling as he offers a pensive hum. His fingers lock around your hips, keeping you close.
“Everything.” He admits.
“Your eyes, your lips, your… breathtaking presence.”
When he returns to you, the cream light from the kitchen frames his features with the precision of a gallery artist's newest work, adding highlight to the peaks and shading to the angled impressions of his face, hair and body.
He's unquestionably stunning.
And he's yours.
Your mouth crashes against his pillowy lips long before your brain can convince you to do otherwise.
You relish in the pressure his fingers dimple your skin with, your lips dancing in the practiced waltz you're incapable of loving any less.
The soft smacking sound of your mouths rings between you before you're detouring to pepper the rest of his face with delicate pecks.
His cheeks tighten and morph into a wide grin when you brush over them, thinning out as you hover over his chin. You notice the restless tick in his jaw and pull away to assess him further, only to be reeled back in by the back of your head.
The hand in your hair is sturdy, tangling your locks into a makeshift leash while his other works at your jaw, applying pressure to your flushed cheeks to purse your lips together for him.
Your knees have locked up. Your feet feel heavy and your arms are slung haphazardly around his waist. The level of submission you've delivered to him on a silver platter is astounding to you, considering he's been avoiding your advances for the entirety of the week. Even if it was your doing.
And you almost find it aggravating how easily your body responds to him. Needy, desperate, aching for him.
“I’ve been,” he captures your mouth with his, vulgar and starved. “So patient.” Kiss. “So well behaved.” Another kiss. “So you could truly relax and avoid being cooped up in bed with me..."
He surfaces for a moment to breathe, eyeing your dazed expression in between. When your eyes meet his, they're glassy, dilated and so full of lust that it drives him crazy. He dives back in, tongue and mouth unrelenting against your moans.
Another break in the kiss gifts him the chance to continue his thoughts.
"But you always wreck me. Always muddle my mind with your sly little remarks, your needy eyes that follow me around, and your perfect fucking mouth that smiles, frowns, and kisses me every day."
“Gyu,” you whimper when he hikes a knee between your thighs, flexing the taut muscle into your clothed center. “We.. mmh.. we can’t.”
His teeth graze your bottom lip viciously, tugging at the plump flesh until you wince and he can taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue.
“I can't hold back anymore, baby. I gave you more than enough time to rest and enjoy your time here, but now I'm crawling back to you, just like you said I would.”
Your protest dies in your throat with the harsh grasp of his hand cupping your pussy over your shorts. You can feel every single one of his fingers digging into your soaked flesh, truly testing your restraint when his lips trail after yours while you wriggle your way out of his reach.
You don't make it far before he's scooping you up by the back of your thighs and hauling you into the living room. The wind is knocked out of your lungs when he tosses you onto the cushions of the couch and climbs over you.
"Mingyu," You whisper-yell through gritted teeth. "We can't. It's like three in the morning and our friends are literally a few feet away, sleeping!"
If looks could kill, you would’ve been six feet under about two minutes ago with how sharpened his dark and nearly bottomless eyes have become.
Mingyu’s eyes bore into your soul, inky and challenging. You cross your arms over your chest as a subconscious shield against your boyfriend’s persistence.
“No.” You snap, pointing a finger at him accusingly. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Your chances of returning to your bed peacefully have vanished into thin air when Mingyu grabs a hold of your wrist and crosses them above your head. He dips down to nibble at your ear, deliberately filling your head with the sound of his drawn-out groans and haughty breathing.
You struggle to regain your strength under his grip for a few minutes before ultimately becoming limp in his hold, forfeiting all resistance.
"There you go," Mingyu croons.
"Let me take care of you. Have you all to myself for just a little longer, hm? Doesn't that sound good to you?"
His words crawl along your skin, piercing pins and needles all throughout your body. You squirm in his hold; your bottom lip pulled in between your teeth.
"I'll keep quiet if you can, baby. Y'gotta try not to wake everyone up."
“You and I both know you can’t keep quiet to save your life, Mingyu.” You hiss harmlessly and lean your head against the arm rest in defeat.
“I can try this time.” He nearly whines, both his tough facade and grip on your wrists faltering in favor of reaching underneath your sleep shirt to trace his blunt nails over your stomach and chest. “Promise."
Your muscles loosen under his touch, emotionally sold on the idea of having such a needy man wrapped around your finger. He truly is the manifestation of a wet dream.
“Fuck,” you groan and take advantage of the disappearance of his grip to swap positions and straddle his hips. Your palms come up to rest at either side of his head.
With your straightened arms being within his reach, Mingyu proceeds to trail a lewd, wet stripe of his tongue on your inner wrist and arm, all the while keeping his gaze fixed with yours.
The shiver that comes with it is enough of an answer for Mingyu to reclaim his stake on your body, bracing himself on his elbows to crash his mouth into yours and lure you into him.
Your groans and whimpers are muted against his lips and you find yourself yearning for more; your friends' peace be damned.
You realize you're admittedly hypocritical when your goal at making Mingyu feel good is far more significant to you than their precious beauty sleep.
You tease him with a curved and intentional grind over his hips, grazing the hardened tent of his sweats. You take his choked-out whine as your green light to continue.
Leaning down, you delve into a passionate kiss that pries his lips apart. Another moan escapes you when you feel his tongue invading the heat of your mouth, twirling amongst yours feverishly.
Being the sly fox that he is, Mingyu takes it upon himself to grant himself access to your ass, cupping a cheek in each of his large hands and parting them beneath your shorts and panties.
One guttural moan later and you both come up for a breath of air, gasping into each other's slick mouths.
“You really want to make a mess of yourself tonight, don’t you?” You ask lowly.
Breathless, he nods his head and answers with a shaky, “Yes. Please.”
The corner of your mouth quirks in amusement. He’s never been one to act coy in times like this, and hardly ever puts on a tough guy front for you when you ask him for anything pertaining to pleasure. After all, he's here for you, he’s mentioned it countless of times; whether it's shown in the form of free use or a simple switch in dynamic, he’s all for it as long as you’re content and comfortable.
Flickering your sight from his eyes to his hidden erection, your request is conveyed to Mingyu effortlessly, despite him having initiated all of this.
With a single nod of approval, Mingyu guides your hand towards the band of his sweats. He exhales through his nose as your tongue darts out to wet your lips between the fleeting gaze of his strained dick and his wrecked expression.
You apply an excessive amount of pressure against his untouched cock with the heel of your palm, causing him to squirm with a string of curses in tow.
"You really are so worked up for me, puppy. Just look at you..."
"Had you let me have a taste sooner, you wouldn't be in so much pain now, and I wouldn't be so fucking empty." You tut.
His features are screwed into a relieving mixture of delight and libido-driven anguish as you proceed to graze the damp splotch over his sweats, exchanging your palm for your nails to trace the outline of his twitching cock.
Mingyu’s adams apple bobs with a shallow swallow. When you settle back on your heels to ease his pants and boxers down, he does his best to accommodate you with the little sliver of space he has on the couch by tugging you closer to his chest.
"You started it." He huffs.
Your unamused and sarcastic laugh is muffled into his cheek as you place a wet kiss to his skin.
"Don't be a brat." You grumble in his ear.
Without warning, you take his leaking dick in your hand, squeezing the tip in place with a vice like grip while your opposite palm glides flat against the pre-coated head, circling over and over until he's stifling his moans into the cushion of the couch.
After a few minutes, you begin to thumb at the slit of his bulbous head before reaching down and cusping his balls in your hand, digging your nails into the skin with just enough pressure to make him writhe under you.
You keep your eyes fixed on his quivering chin as you lean over him with your jaw slack, allowing your spit to travel past your lips and drip onto his furiously red cock. Your tongue then shoots out to trace the vein splitting down the side of his length, simultaneously scraping your nails across the skin of his inner thigh and over his happy trail in a repetitive pattern.
It's after a particular forced dip of your fingers to his lower abdomen and the lick to his bobbing cock that he's desperately trying to close his thighs around your shoulders, with a garbled remark of, "I'm gonna— oh my god—shit! I'm..."
Your lips curl into a Cheshire-like grin as you cease all of your ministrations and sit up.
He nearly sobs when you pull away and it leaves you breathless and startled when he starts pawing at your chest and shoulders, jerking your body towards him. You brace yourself with your hands planted firmly against his chest.
“Please, my love, please keep going.” Tears clinging to his lashes, Mingyu stares down at you and awaits your response, impatiently guiding your hips in circular motions over his thighs.
You tsk and grab a fistful of his hair, making him sit up with you. His whines are breathy now, less consistent and terribly pitiful.
“You’re making a lot of noise for someone who promised to keep their mouth shut.” You chide while tugging at his strands tantalizingly rough.
He responds with a pathetic whimper and a shake of his head that he struggles to show under your unrelenting grip. His wet curls cling to his sweaty forehead, framing his doll-like face with the innocence of an unblemished cherub.
“You’re going to take what I give you when I give it to you, do you understand?”
His head bobbles with haste, eager to follow directions you know he won’t be able to keep up with.
“Show me those pretty teeth, puppy.” You instruct and pull at his bottom lip with two fingers as his tongue lolls out of his mouth.
You brush the pad of your thumb against the sharp peak of his canines, sighing contently afterwords. You change fingers to stroke his tongue, reaching deep under the slobbering muscle.
His moan is pitched high and you can’t help but grin as you watch his eyes roll back, hips rutting against nothing.
“Wish you could see your pretty mouth, baby. It’s so pretty and fitted just for me.”
You nearly purr in pleasure when a low groan escapes him, and with his mouth fully open, it pulps the sound into a lewd cry.
“Suck.” You demand and he’s quick to oblige, clamping his lips around your fingers, plunging them in deeper.
You tilt your head to appreciate the view of your fingers disappearing into his mouth with every suction of his hollowing cheeks, simply enthralled by your boyfriend’s beauty both inside and out. He’s always so eager to please, and it fascinates you when he gets like this; so whiney, impatient, and drunk on loving you.
A weighted tap on your thigh piques your interest, your eyes following the feeling and discovering his bobbing cock still leaking, now nearly purple with his pent-up desire. To his disappointment, your fingers are removed from his mouth, trailing a web of spit in between the distance.
You wipe at his mouth with the back of your opposite hand, praising him for following through with his task and abiding by your rule of being patient.
His drooping eyes trail after your movements as you reposition yourself a bit lower on his thighs. Spreading the slickness of your fingers along his hard on, you continue to pump him at a decent pace.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He curses, and you smile when you catch the tremble in his muscular arms that keep him upright out of the corner of your eye.
"C'mon, my pretty boy." You drawl. "You can let go now. Come for me."
His breathless gasp is the last thing you hear before he's crashing headfirst into his orgasm, bucking his hips into your hand through his high until you're sure he's milked himself dry.
You clamber off of him to rid yourself of your bottoms and panties before claiming your spot on his thighs again, watching intently as Mingyu's breath shallows out into a more controlled rhythm.
Sweat clings to him like a fresh sheen of body oil, coating him with a glow you find yourself all the more attracted to by the second. He seems to notice your drifting thoughts as he reaches out for you and pulls you in by the elbows.
Chest to chest, gazes glued to one another, your bodies slot together like the perfect puzzle when he guides you both to lay on your sides. You trail your fingers along his jaw, inching upward until you can thread them into his damp locks.
Mingyu presses a tender kiss to your forehead, then snakes a hand down to your exposed center, skimming your slick folds between his fingertips, paired with the intoxicating press of his thumb to your clit.
"You're so beautiful."
You suppress your moan with a bashful kiss to his lips, clasping your hands behind his neck as he continues to invade your drenched entrance with his finger.
"You're so perfect."
The warmth of his mouth explores the expanse of your throat, sucking and teething at the skin until a purplish hue blooms at the surface. A second finger is followed up with a third shortly after, sinking into your pussy while your muted moans begin to hitch and shorten with every pump.
"You're all mine." The words melt against your tongue as he slots your mouths together once more, stimulating every nerve in your body as you reach your high.
He swallows the whimper you let out once his fingers have vanished completely right after your release.
You're a hair's length short of having a mental crisis before the familiar flared tip of his cock nudges at your throbbing bud. Out of reflex, you meet him halfway and rut your puffy lips over his dick, pleading for more.
Mingyu anchors you with an arm under your head and another securing your waist when he senses your eagerness, hitching your leg over his hip as he presses in closer. With a few more moments of adjustment, Mingyu eventually guides his length into you inch by inch until he bottoms out with a content hum.
“You’re my everything.” Mingyu murmurs, soft enough to be considered a whisper, but with the perfect amount of vigor to enforce the adoration in his tone.
Your dopey grin spreads like wildflowers in the spring, blooming delicately across your lips in a cherry-like hue. Snaking a hand around his back, you utilize his shoulder as leverage as you rock your hips, desperately seeking friction from the girth inside you.
“You don’t have to butter me up, Gyu. You already have me."
Your lips meet for a dominating dual between each thrust, coaxing the deepest sounds of ecstasy out from your chest and flooding his senses. His clipped, nasally whine adds fuel to your already blazing arson lining your insides.
“Not…” he pants, quickening his pace. “Buttering you up.”
Clamping a hand over your mouth to stifle your cries, you’re made painfully aware of smoldering heat building in your lower stomach, sending a storm of pleasure to your stretched walls at an unmanageable rate.
“Just—fuck—making sure…” Mingyu babbles on. “You—you know.”
Your climax is fast approaching and your mewls and high-pitched moans have progressed. In a desperate attempt to relieve the burn in gummy walls, you hike your leg up higher onto his waist, sinking yourself even deeper onto his swelling member. Your mouth shadows over his shoulder, heaving raggedly as the pressure erupts into a show of fireworks behind your screwed eyes.
Attuned with your body, Mingyu coaxes you through your tipping point, offering his shoulder to you as a mock gag. Lapping your tongue across the skin, your teeth tail behind before indenting into his muscle to hide your final drawn-out whine.
You're unsure how long your release takes to finally dwindle out, but by the time you come to, you're able to acknowledge the warmth spilling out of your cunt.
And based off of the strained breaths against your forehead, you can only assume the fluids leaking out of you partially belong to your lover. Resting his head against the arm rest of the couch, Mingyu lays flat on his back and gently lays you on his chest.
He sighs, content and satiated. "I love you so much."
The weight of his softening cock remains inside you, bathing you in a refreshing sense of comfort and intimacy with the person you love most. With the side of your flushed face stamped against his sweaty chest, right above his heart, your response is a warm hum of acknowledgment.
"I love you." You mumble tiredly.
Regathering your thoughts, you make an attempt of forming some kind of meaningful and corny expression. However, to your surprise, the chance is swept out from underneath your feet when you feel yourself being lifted.
Mingyu's joints complain against the sudden movement, but he moves either way, wobbling his way to your bedroom and laying you down gently against the pillows. He smooths a hand over the crown of your head before walking back out to the living room.
You're far too bone weary to fret over his absence when he returns with the discarded clothing in one hand while the other holds a few damp paper towels. Shutting the door behind himself, Mingyu ambles over to your side and initiates his routine aftercare, peppering you with doting praises and gentle sweet nothings as he works his way around your body, cleaning you up.
Your vision is darkening at the edges shortly after he joins you in bed, cushioning himself against your back and placing a kiss to your bare shoulder.
The imperceptible rumble of a snore escapes his chest, and his fresh linen and woodsy scent fills your senses, lulling you to sleep before you can register it.
Within your dream, you meet him again. And when you meet, he's nothing shy of the man you wish to love for eternity.
He's the embodiment of what the word home has to offer.
Yena isn't as bubbly as she normally is. Which is deeply concerning considering the fact that this trip had been catered for her and Seungcheol's engagement.
Seungcheol has also indirectly insulted your boyfriend when he didn't immediately greet him this morning—which is highly unusual—and leaving you with a sour Mingyu to tend to.
Chan and Nari had chalked it up to a hypothetical 'trouble in paradise' type of situation, which settles your nerves for a bit.
Except, the truthful reasoning is soon revealed over breakfast when the pair insinuates that their paradise is still as perfect as ever, but there is something they've avoided discussing.
"Care to share with the class?" Chan quips eyeing Seungcheol from the seat adjacent to yours at the table.
Yena and Seungcheol share an unreadable glance, shifty eyes equally against the idea of being the one to break the news.
Seungcheol falls victim to his fiancé's charm and accepts his volun-told task. clearing his throat after taking his final spoonful of his omelet.
"We didn't know we were rooming with two exhibitionists... at least, not until last night when we woke up to a certain couple getting frisky in the living room— as if they don't have their own private room."
Mingyu's lungs collapse, the air completely knocked out of him. You have to pat him on the back to prevent him from choking on his maple links.
"What?" Nari squawks, attention split between you and a very tomato-skinned Seungcheol.
"We fucked on the couch last night." You admit bluntly, chewing slower.
"Oh wow."
"Yeah."
Yena leans over the edge of her seat to peer past Seungcheol's shoulder, acknowledging your blank stare with a smug wink; a silent and slightly envious nod of approval. Mingyu fidgets in his seat, taking a sudden interest in the placemat under his plate and busying himself with a stray thread.
"Well, we didn't hear anything." Chan shrugs.
"How could you not? They were going at it like two sick, rabid animals!" Seungcheol stammers, ears hot under your unfazed nods and hums.
"To be fair, we were also pretty busy ourselves." Nari casually adds, following up with a sip of her coffee.
This time, all three men are coughing into their hands and shirts as they advert their stares from one another. Chan has appointed himself as the mediator, desperately redirecting the conversation.
You turn to Nari when she nudges you with her elbow in the midst of the group's recuperating conversation, crooking her fingers to signal you closer. You lean in and she whispers into your ear.
"Hope you guys didn't catch too much of our midnight rendezvous, Chan wanted to try something new."
You arch a brow, intrigued by her bold divulgence. She smirks and leans over once more.
"He had me call him daddy the entire night. What a freak, huh?"
Your laugh is unfiltered and loud, and you double over with the force of it. Mingyu steadies you with a hand on your waist, running a fond eye over your radiant expression.
"Must have been something in the air then, huh?"
Your banter dials down after everyone has cleared their plates and begun planning their last itinerary. You stay behind in favor of romanticizing your boyfriend's mundane chore of washing the dishes, buzzing around from one counter to the other as he tidies up the kitchen.
After finishing, Mingyu plants himself in between your knees, his full height towering over your seated form. Your hands find home on his hips as he thumbs over your chin and jaw fondly.
"Well, breakfast was a little embarrassing." He says with a coy shake of his head.
You perch your chin on his stomach and look up through your lashes, the quirked corner of your mouth appearing alongside your raised brows.
"I'm pretty sure I warned you about you being incapable of keeping quiet."
"I was quiet!" He argues, pursing his lips afterwords. "I think."
You giggle at his dubious remark which he muffles with a peck to the edge of your mouth. When he pulls back, his eyes are glimmering, forever alluring regardless of how much time in your relationship you've spent losing yourself in.
"What were you and Nari laughing about earlier?"
"Ah," You grin. "It was just about her and Chan's night."
Your hands relocate to the back of his knees when he shuffles closer in between your thighs and hunches over to bump your forehead with his.
"But what did she say? What was so funny?" He pouts.
"You're so nosey."
He makes a sound in the back of his throat as he nudges his nose against yours, pushing you to indulge in his curiosity a little more.
"Chan wanted her to call him daddy."
Mingyu recoils abruptly, distancing himself from you for a moment to gauge your sincerity, snorting when he realizes you're, in fact, not joking.
"You learn something new every day, I guess." He smirks.
You offer him a nod before craning your neck to kiss him, unrushed and sweet. Your fingers have since moved to dance across his broad shoulders, skirting past his ribs and spine as you stare up at him. His own hands have come to rest on either side of you in your seat.
Pulling back slightly, Mingyu levels you with an inquisitive expression that makes you shift in your seat slightly.
“You're staring, Gyu.”
“Did you… Do you like…” he takes a deep breath and restarts. “Are you into the Daddy thing?”
Somehow, you've managed to choke on your saliva, sending you into a fit of coughs and wheezes as you try to get your bearings.
“It was just a question, calm down babe!” He chides, stroking the back of your head once you’ve calmed yourself down and taken a sip of your water.
“Baby,” you take his hand in yours. “I’m not into that. I don’t think I’ll ever be into that, honestly."
"Unless.. I don’t know.. you decide you want to try it out? Then I guess I’d consider it."
Mingyu’s face morphs from concern, to understanding, and finally to amusement as he brings your hand to his mouth, peppering your knuckles with kisses.
He chuckles. "Lucky for you, I'm also not a fan, so that makes it easy."
You smile and take another moment to enjoy his admirable character, his openness. His high value and regard for you and your needs. You've truly hit the jackpot with him and couldn't possibly exist without his supportive partnership in your life.
Your gaze blurs as he straightens out, takes a step back and crosses his ankles as he leans against the table, flattening his palm against the polished wood. He tilts his head.
“Although…” He drawls. “I wouldn’t be opposed to being called something else."
You swallow your response and motion for him to elaborate, chewing at the inside of your cheek.
“How do you feel about calling me… your husband?”
You swear the blood in your body stops pumping, the air escaping your lungs not long after, and your ears ring at an intolerable decibel. You’re transfixed on your boyfriend whose eyes have glossed over, unblinking throughout the period of suffocating silence.
“My… what?” You utter breathlessly.
Mingyu shuffles closer to look you in the eye properly, his own twinkling brightly; an otherworldly sight even the constellations in the night sky couldn't hold a candle to.
"Your husband," He proceeds to reiterate. "You know, once we're married."
Your blinks slow after that, stunned.
"I mean, yeah, I don't… I wouldn't… mind, I suppose." You stammer, fighting the urge to both shriek until your throat is raw, and burrow yourself underground to avoid making a fool of yourself before he's even had the chance to propose.
"Good." Is all he says before pivoting on his heel and meandering down the hall, as if he hadn't just flipped your universe upside down, shaking your surroundings until all of your thoughts, feelings, and strength are clattering to the ground, exposed for him to see. Only for him. It's always been for him.
On the outside, Mingyu is no different behind his seemingly unaffected aura.
However, his inner dialogue is a sequence of muddled pleads for a sliver of grace against the eternal adoration he has for you, a love that strikes fires in his ribcage he struggles to put out.
Though, truthfully, he'd let them burn. He'd let his heart char to a degree that reveals nothing but ashes that mirror your smell; Of your distinct undertones of home, refreshing laughter, and a blinding smile.
He's a mess, inside and out, but he doesn't mind it one bit. Not when he cherishes the silver lining; you were okay with being his wife. You were more than okay with it, really.
Should he be a little surprised? Maybe. It's been four years coming and all he's done is confess his undying love for you day in and day out. And as you've mentioned before, it does get a little tiresome after the umpteenth time in one sitting of having to reassure him that you'd still love him if he was a worm.
But who cares?
Not him.
Not when he reflects on your journey together; a voyage he has yet to hear you rant about in all of the romance novels you spew to him about.
Because your love is special. It's one of a kind. A story not even the most wise and literate author could produce into words on a paper.
And when he thinks about the velvet box sitting at the bottom of his luggage, buried under his clothes, he knows it's only a matter of days until he can confidently claim this love as both yours and his—for the rest of your shared forever.
< envy yaps: well that was sappy. I feel like I have to balance it out now with an evil plot line now... and what if Wonwoo is my next target... hm... much to consider.
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Summary ⟅ Your boyfriends indulge in one of your deepest fantasies.
OT6 x Sub!reader / ⟣ SMUT / 2k ⟢
Warnings: pwp, masturbation, creampie galore, they all basically use reader as a cumdump, degradation, name calling, dirty talk, mild praise kink, gang bang ig?, can this be considered as bukkake?, breeding kink adjacent, penetration but NO FUCKING (walk with me), overstimulation, orgasm denial, kinda edging if you squint, (mild?) subspace, general filth
Lily's note — 🪷 cough i'm reader cough hi guys :D i have nothing to say enjoy my filthy fantasy
One thing you loved about your boyfriends was their willingness to indulge and their hunger to satisfy. You were convinced that if you wanted the moon, they would find a way to pluck it from the sky and gift it to you with a pretty pink bow wrapped around it.
The reality was that they'd never said no to anything you wanted to try, so you shouldn't have been nervous to ask them to partake in one of your dirtiest fantasies. But, still, the devil worked hard to convince you they'd find it weird, find you weird for wanting it and write you off as sick.
On the contrary, they'd been ecstatic, which was why you were on your knees and elbows, back arched to the ceiling, fully bare and waiting to be filled to the brim.
They stood around the bed, each one with their cocks in their hands, working and jerking themselves solely to the sight of your naked body positioned and ready for them.
The sounds, oh the sounds. The wet slide of their hands stroking all at different paces was music to your ears, creating a symphony of pleasure when their moans began filtering out. You could feel the heat of their stares searing into you. You would’ve given anything to see them then.
Taeyang, who used both hands, one to slowly pump himself, the other fondling his balls. He was wearing that familiar smirk you loved oh-so much, which grew wider when he saw you turn your head to try and peek at him.
Shota, whose thumb and pointer finger met to form a tight ring that he used to work his tip only, sliding over the pretty red head with quick, shallow thrusts of his wrist. His lips were pushed into a pout, the stimulation overwhelming him.
Intak, who was the most vocal by far, his whines spilling past his lips with little effort to stop them. He held his hand still in front of him, his hips snapping to fuck into the little pocket, his eyes locked onto your fluttering cunt to imagine he was sliding into your warm, wet heat instead.
Jiung whose hand was twisting over his cock, his pace frantic and uncoordinated. His breaths came out in ragged gasps, unable to slow down his movements with how delectable and ready you looked for them.
Jongseob who watched on with hooded eyes, his thumb rubbing circles over his slit, his focus absolute as he chased the high building in his stomach.
And Keeho.
Keeho who pumped himself with long, lazy strokes, his fist moving at an agonizing pace along his shaft, savoring every delicious inch of friction. His eyes trailed from the seductive arch of your back down to your spread thighs where you were presenting yourself so prettily for them.
He was the first to speak.
“Look at you…” his voice cut through the mess of sounds. “So eager to be used. Just a hole for us to empty into. Gonna breed your tight cunt, aren’t we?”
The effect of his vulgar words was instantaneous. You whined, high and needy, every last nerve ending lit on fire. Your clit pulsed weakly, the sight causing all of them to groan in unison, any restraint being exhibited fraying.
Intak was the first to break. He shuffled forward with a desperate whine and before you could really even sense his presence behind you, his cock was plunging into your soaked cunt with a single thrust, burying himself to the hilt.
“O-Oh fuck, you’re so tight,” he cried out when your walls clamped around him from the sudden intrusion, the pressure immediately sending him over the edge as he came, his release spilling hot and deep inside you.
He waited until he was sure that every last drop leaked out of him, panting, before pulling out and stepping back on shaky legs.
You didn't have time to mourn the loss of fullness because another cock was breaching your hole a second after, pushing you forward from how hard they slammed inside of you.
Jongseob hips met your ass before he pulled out halfway, Intak’s releases coating his cock and pooling at your entrance before he slid back in with a quiet, breathy moan. “Such a perfect cocksleeve…”
He held your hips still, his fingers digging into your skin as he threw his head back, drowning in the sensation as wave after wave of pleasure spread through his body. He rode out each pulse and eventually gave your hip an affection squeeze while removing himself from your soaked heat.
Your knees trembled, threatening to give out. You felt so full already from just two loads, your stomach clenching tight at the thought of having to take four more. You dropped your head to the bed, suddenly dizzy, your hand twitching to reach and satisfy the burn of your sensitive, untouched clit, begging for attention.
Just as you slipped a hand between your legs, Taeyang shot forward to slap it away.
“No, no, no, doll. Remember what you told us before?”
You whined, trying to rack your foggy memory for whatever he was talking about, but you were too blissed out to think properly. You shivered when he ran a hand over your lower back, tracing your spine with soft fingers.
“It’s okay, baby. I’ll help you remember.” He guided his cock to your hole, nudging it but not yet entering. “You said you only want to be used, and nothing else. No fucking, no pleasure...” He paused, letting the words sink in. “You're the one who wanted this. You’re the one who begged us to be used like a stupid toy, so take it.”
Any humiliation you felt was overpowered by pleasure when he pushed in just enough for your cunt to stretch around his tip. He eased you back the rest of the way, agonizingly slow, until you felt the spasm of his cock and heard his rough groan, his load stuffing you deeper and coating your walls.
“Three more to go,” he taunted while pulling out, kneading your ass with a rough hand before stepping back.
You barely had a moment to catch your breath before Jiung moved forward. He slowed down his strokes when he felt his orgasm rising so he could finish inside you, but the moment his eyes locked onto your creamed hole and the abundance of cum threatening to spill out, he let out a strangled moan, his hips jerking forward, hot ropes of his release dripping onto your ruined folds.
A desperate, shaking whimper escaped him and he quickly guided himself inside your heat to finish inside you. White stars clouded his vision, his torso convulsing, as he basked in the ecstasy of your silky, wet walls.
You couldn’t think, couldn’t comprehend. You could only feel them use you one by one, your mind a fog of heat and fullness. You didn’t even realize that Jiung pulled out until a new cock slid through your folds, their tip nudging directly against your swollen clit.
Your body bowed, a sharp cry tearing from your throat as you shuddered violently, the sparks of electricity overstimulating your sensitive nerves.
A chorus of objections sounded out behind you from the rest of them, scolding Shota for giving you the tiniest bit of pleasure.
“Sorry, sorry!” Shota apologized with a breathless laugh that made him sound not sorry at all. “Couldn’t resist. Just looks so pretty.”
You barely feel him entering, your used channel already stretched to welcome him with no restraint. He sheathed himself to his base, his eyes shutting tight when the lewd squelch of cum and arousal reached his ears. Seconds later, you felt that undeniable warmth for the fifth time, adding to the growing pool.
You tried hard to stop your body from trembling, but the pressure in your belly was too overwhelming. You felt tortured, like you were almost on the verge of your own orgasm but it was being dangled in front of you, just out of reach. Just as your knees were about to give in, a loud tsk had you straightening back up.
Keeho smiled at your responsiveness, approaching you slowly with those same, lazy strokes.
“Look at our cumdump, guys,” he said with a lilt of approval. “Stuffed so full. It’s already spilling out of you.”
He slapped his cock against your pussy before rubbing the head through the mess at your folds to coat himself, careful not to go too far like Shota had. You pushed back against him, a subconscious plea that he only chuckled at.
“Such a greedy whore. You still want more? After all they’ve given you.”
You whimpered, your fingers curling into the sheets, slurring out, “Want yours.”
Keeho couldn’t help the smug smile that splayed on his lips, pride swelling in his chest. “Look at you… you can barely talk. Is your stupid brain melted from being used?”
He reached down with both hands to spread your ass, opening your hole wider to him. He exhaled a shaky breath at the work of art, slapping one hand down on your skin causing your body to jolt forward, before he drove into you.
And even with everyone else stretching you open, he was so big, it still burned.
His fingers dug into your skin hard enough to leave bruises as he struggled to bottom out with a throaty groan. “F-Fuck—you feel so hot. Gonna give you more… just for our dirty slut, our broken toy.”
You felt every single pulse of his seed filling you deep, your thighs quivering when stayed there long after he’d finished coming, letting you feel every inch of him, letting your cunt mold to the shape of his cock.
Eventually, Jiung stepped forward, his hand resting on Keeho’s shoulder. “Come on, Keeho. We want to see.”
Reluctantly, Keeho pulled out slowly, letting you collapse forward, boneless and used. You felt strong hands turn you onto your back, spreading your legs wide, exposing the mess they’d made of you.
You squeezed your cunt tight, trying your best to hold it all in and savor the feeling for as long as possible despite the burning pressure, your body writhing uncontrollably.
Keeho rested his hand on your belly, pressing down gently, causing you to cry out, the sensation sending another torturous jolt of near-pleasure buzzing through you.
“Come on,” he cooed, trying to coax it all out of you. “Spill for us. Show us everything you took. Show us how good of a hole you are…”
Your body obeyed his command as you relaxed with a weak shudder. The cum flowed out of your spasming cunt in thick, white streams, running down your ass to drip on the sheets below you.
“T-Thank you… thank you…” you trembled out, your voice barely forming the words.
Your eyes fluttered, heavy-lidded and unfocused, threatening to close from the exhaustion of being used.
Taeyang laughed, loud and unrestrained, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re so fucked up for loving this, you know that?”
You could only manage a dazed, weak hum.
Jiung reached out to brush away the hair clinging to your damp forehead, marveling at the cum still spilling from your debauched hole. “How did we get so lucky to find you…”
When the flow of cum stilled, Jongseob stepped forward, his hand rubbing reverently across your thigh. “Keep pushing, noona. There must be more.”
You sucked in a shaky breath, your cunt clenching tightly before you pushed and the last bit trickled out weakly. You heaved out a last tired breath, turning your face to bury it in the pillow.
“I’ll clean her up,” Shota offered, already turning to the bathroom.
“No…” you sulked, the sound weak and petulant.
Intak couldn't believe it, a wide, giddy smile spreading across his face. “No? You want to keep us in? You want your pussy to stay ruined?”
“Don't worry, baby,” Keeho interjected. “We’ll stuff you everyday if you want. No need to be so greedy.”
His comforting voice faded in your ears before you could reply, your body finally succumbing to the exhaustion as sleep claimed you.
GENRE: tooth-rotting fluff, nothing but good ol' domestic boyfriend!mingyu
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumption, being drunk and partying, lots of kisses, pet names (just baby), mingyu's love language clearly being physical touch and acts of service lol
WORD COUNT: 675
In all the years Kim Mingyu has known you—five, to be exact—he has never seen you this hammered.
He always knew you were a lightweight, which was why you were usually so careful with your alcohol intake whenever you went out with friends. But tonight was different. And honestly, if there were ever a night to let loose, your best friend’s bachelorette party was a worthy occasion.
“Partied hard, huh?” he teases, glancing up at you from where he’s crouched on the marble-tiled floor, carefully undoing the clasps of your glittery heels. You let out a dramatic moan as he frees your feet from the torture devices you had optimistically called “elegant,” pouting at your gentle giant of a boyfriend.
“I only had three drinks,” you hiccup, trying your best to sound convincing. Mingyu quirks an eyebrow, clearly amused at your confession. He is not convinced, not after seeing the chaotic stream of videos you had sent him throughout the night to update him on all the shenanigans you and your friend group were up to.
“Okay, maybe seven.”
“Seven? Baby, that’s a new record,” He laughs, the sound warm and boyish, his eyes crinkling with mirth.
You try to stand, but your legs wobble beneath you. Mingyu immediately moves to steady you, his hands gentle but firm as you groan and lean heavily into his support.
“I swear I’m never doing this again,” you mutter, swaying involuntarily. You try not to think about the killer hangover waiting for you in the morning. “I still have to take my makeup off.”
Mingyu scoffs dramatically, pretending to be offended at your remark.
“You think I’m going to let the love of my life take their own makeup off when they’re this tired? What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?”
Without waiting for a response, he scoops you up effortlessly in his arms and carries you to the bathroom, setting you down on the countertop like something precious. He moves with quiet efficiency, pulling out the makeup wipes and various other paraphernalia from the drawer and getting straight to work.
Mingyu’s touch is feather-light, gently wiping away the trades of makeup as if you were made of fine glass. Most of it has already faded—except for the smudged eyeliner, stubborn glitter and lashes that are still valiantly clinging to life. He’s so focused on the task that it makes you want to giggle, and when you do, he glances up, scrunching his nose at you in playful suspicion.
“Stop giggling, I am trying to focus,” Mingyu replies, booping the tip of your nose with a q-tip.
After each area he wipes clean, he presses a gentle kiss to the newly bare skin—your forehead, your cheeks, the tip of your nose. And despite the buzz still humming through your system, your heart swells with a different kind of warmth.
Perhaps it’s the copious amounts of alcohol currently swimming through your system, but you swear Mingyu has never looked this ethereal. Dressed in a plain white t-shirt and soft plaid pajama bottoms, he resembles something otherworldly—angelic, almost. The soft, mellow lighting in your shared apartment’s bathroom casts a golden glow over his face, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the brown in his eyes.
You think you have fallen in love with your boyfriend all over again.
Overwhelmed by the sight of your beautiful boyfriend and the way his hands move to touch you, you can’t help but reach out and squish the sides of his cheeks, forcing his lips into a pout.
“I’m sorry you have to do this,” you mumble, the guilt slipping through your drunken haze.
He smiles, removing your hands from his face and interlocking it with his. He presses a kiss on the back of each hand, crouching slightly to level his eyes with yours.
“Baby, you do not have to be sorry at all,” he says simply, the softness in his voice never wavering.
“I’d do this every night if it meant getting to be with you like this.”
PAIRING: Jester!Jeonghan x Princess!Reader
SUMMARY: You've spent your entire life hiding behind the mask of a princess, forced to perform perfection at every moment. There is a single person who see's beyond your mask, but you see beyond his too - and you don't think the jester is as harmless as everyone thinks.
WC: 6,244
AU: Royalty, Implied Magical AU
GENRE: Smut
RATING: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
WARNINGS: Mild mentions of what's proper/what's not in a royal society, reader being frustrated and having repressed feelings of desire and arousal, sexually explicit content featuring vaginal fingering, some mild dirty talk, mild biting, mild exhibitionism (hooking up where anyone could find them), the use of pet names (love / good girl), Jeonghan being a bit of a menace, some magical ambiguity at the end re: Jeonghan, he's kinda a weird lil guy in this I don't know how to explain it, he's implied to be dangerous but he doesn't do anything necessarily scary on paper.
A/N: This is for my milestone request for @gimmegoodname! And part 8348934 of Hali doesn't know how to keep to a reasonable request word count :) Thank you jesus for landing on Jester and Jeonghan - this actually is not at all what I originally intended to write but fuck it we ball because the other idea would have taken me aprox 40k words lmfao
AN 2: This is not beta read so I’m sorry - there will definitely be mistakes! I did proof read/spelling and grammar check but I often miss a lot!
MAIN M. LIST | ASK | FOR MY MILESTONE EVENT
ORANTE PARTIES ARE PERHAPS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE RESPONSIBILITY AS A PRINCESS.
The castle's grand ballroom has been transformed into a glittering display of excess, the crystal chandeliers reflecting torchlight and dappled shadows across polished marble floors, the heavy velvet drapery covering the walls in hues of crimson and midnight blue - all of it tailored to make the inside of the room feel like something from another world.
You hate every inch of it. You hate the weight of your gown and its scratchy material, you hate how you can feel the bone stitching of the corset digging into your ribs, you hate the brittle laughter and the clink of crystal goblets, the venomous whispers behind delicate gossamer fans. Most of all, you hate the way every eye in the room seems to track your every movement, measuring you, judging you, waiting for the perfect princess to make a single mistake so they can talk about it with practiced smiles.
A bard stands at the center of the hall, his fingers dancing over the strings of a lute as he sings a soulful ballad of lovers lost in the heat of one another, of stolen touches and a kind of passion you'll never understand. You wonder what it might be like to experience something like that, to be touched by someone who wants you so badly they risk everything, to have hands on your skin that aren't bound by protocol and propriety. To do something dangerous and sinful, to have someone hold you the way those lovers in the song held each other, with urgency and desire instead of duty.
You'll never be that, of course. You are forever bound to this kingdom where the entire world is your stage, where you must remain untouched and controlled, and you're constantly expected to perform.
You're not the only one performing tonight, of course. You're halfway through a painfully boring conversation with the Lord of Coin regarding taxes when a burst of laughter cuts through the murmur of the party. Your gaze drifts against your will toward the small crowd forming near the arched windows, and though you can't see the man at the center of their attention, you know he's there.
The court jester's voice drifts toward you, mischief wrapped in pretty velvet clothes and a silly hat. You'd seen him earlier tonight, dressed in his best midnight blue velvet doublet and matching pants, little crystals stitchy to the fabric to make it look like he's lost in a midnight sky. His eyes had been filled with particularly vicious mischief when they'd landed on you, but your father had whisked you away to greet the Lady of Harvest before the fiend could slink your way.
Jeonghan is a fiend. You are perhaps the only person at court who thinks behind the practiced smiles, card tricks and juggling that there's something far more dangerous, but you've never been able to convince anyone of it. And why should anyone agree with you? Jeonghan is favored among the court for his wit, rhymes and tricks, thrilling the men and charming the women as he slides through each party like smoke, taking the shape of whatever his audience desires most.
A fresh wave of laughter erupts from his audience, brighter and more genuine than anything else you’ve heard tonight. It makes your skin itch and you turn away from the crowd, focusing back on the conversation at hand and determined not to let Jeonghan ruin your night like he does at most parties, determined to vex you and make you feel affronted and flushed and-
No.
You shove him from your mind as the conversation drags on while you sip spiced wine from your glass. As the Lord of Coin talks, you wonder what it would be like to leave this room. To go get somewhere lost in the city below. To fall into the bed of someone who would touch you like the lovers in the bard’s song, someone who smells like sandalwood and smoke and whose smile is sharp and familiar.
For now, you stay put and keep your eyes on the lord in front of you, ignoring the growing laughter coming from Jeonghan's corner. You hate that he enthralls them so - hate that even though you’re suspicious of him, he charms you in his own way, worming into your thoughts on lonely days, leading your mind astray to wonder how it is he does those tricks of his.
Your father appears suddenly, the Lord of Coin fumbling over whatever he was saying about inflation as the king puts a hand on your shoulder, grinning jovially. "Lord Hastings, forgive me, but I'm here to steal my daughter and spoil her with the fun part of the night!"
"Of course, Your Majesty!" Lord Hasting bows. "Thank you for the conversation, Your Highness."
"The gratitude is all mine, Lord Hastings," you nod, letting your father spin you away as dread knots in your stomach.
The crowd near the arched windows opens up as you approach, the members of the court bowing as you and your father approach the entertainment. Torchlight flickers on their faces, showing how flushed with delight they are as they watch the spectacle in front of them. Jeonghan stands in the middle of the, his midnight doublet fitting him perfectly as the crystals sparkle with his every movement.
Though the jester hat might look silly on anyone else, Jeonghan makes it look fashionable. His long, dark hair frames his angelic face, all sharp cheekbones and carefully sloped nose. His dark eyes find yours immediately, flashing as he grins. Your heart skips a little but you remain uneffected, staring at him as he juggles three daggers for the crowd as they ooo and ahhh at him.
You watch as the blades flash in the torchlight, each one caught cleanly while people gasp and clap. A lady nearby giggles behind her fan just as Jeonghan makes the daggers disappear into his sleeves with a quick motion. The crowd claps as he grins and bows politely, his dark eyes finding you again.
Irritation simmers, your gaze locking onto his and holding it. While everyone seems impressed, your instincts scream danger, wolf in fool’s clothing. The corner of his mouth tilts upwards as he steps toward you, the smell of his sandalwood and smoke clinging to him.
"Your Highness," he greets smoothly. "You look bored. Let me change that."
You say nothing but your father claps, his laughter booming as Jeonghan starts his performance. Cards fly from his hands in quick patterns and your attention is drawn upward as they flit through the air. He dances away from you and leans toward Lord Jeon, plucking a card from behind his ear before flicking his hand and turning it into a coin. The crowd laughs and claps as you stand there stiffly, watching as he charms his way through the nobles until he comes back toward you.
Jeonghan stops in front of you and holds out his hand, bowing slightly at the waist. The crystals on his double clink together as you stare at him, your stomach twisting when he looks up at you through his dark, silky lashes. To anyone else, the look might be reverent, but you see it for what it is - hunger.
"For the best trick tonight, I need a volunteer," he murmurs. The crowd claps excitedly and when you glance at your father, the king urges you forward, excited. “Your Highness, would you do me the honor?”
Swallowing thickly, you place your hand in Jeonghan's. His skin is warm, sending a spark of heat up your arm as he guides you toward the center of the circle where he spins you in a twirl, the skirts of your dress flaring. The lords and ladies clap, delighted and shouting how beautiful you look, how wonderful their princess is. Jeonghan’s touch lingers a moment longer than necessary before he grins and lets go, eyes glued to you as he circles you like a wolf might its prey.
When he stops, he leans close enough that you can see the silver threading in his collar and the way his sleeves are tailored to allow free movement, probably full of pockets for all of his cards and daggers and other baubles he uses for his performances. He's close enough that the sandalwood and spice makes your lashes flutter, making you think of something dark - not at all the cheery jester he claims to be.
"Try not to look so afraid," he murmurs, low enough that only you can hear him. "The court might think you're afraid of a simple card trick."
"I'm not afraid," you snap.
"No? Then why is your pulse racing?"
You grimace. Ever the observationalist, seeing far more than anyone ever dares to give him credit for.
"Do your trick, jester," you growl.
Jeonghan grins as he produces a deck of cards from one of his sleeves, fanning them out again. "Choose any card but don't show me, love."
Ignoring the casual way he uses a pet name entirely unfit for his station, you select a card from the middle of the deck and when you flip it, you see the seven of swords. You angle it away from him, eyes darting between him and the card. His eyes watch you closely, the heat of them making you fight off a shiver.
"Show the crowd, I'll look away. Cross my heart and hope to die."
You roll your eyes when he turns his back to you. The crowd leans in as you flip the card, showcasing the front to them all. They all nod excitedly, tittering behind hands and fans until you flip the card back around, holding it close to your chest and away from Jeonghan.
"Good," he says when he turns back around, tucking the deck away in one of his sleeves. "Put the card against your palm, card face down."
You follow his instructions, holding your palm out with the card face down to conceal the seven of swords. Jeonghan reaches for your hand, his fingers warm as he presses his palm on top of yours, the card firmly kept between both of your hands. You hate the way your skin responds to the contact, the way the sudden awareness of him prickles up your arm.
"Do you trust me?" he murmurs.
"Hardly."
"Clever." He guides your pressed palms upward so that you're both holding the card between you, each of your hands pressing forward with equal force. "Good girl. Keep your hand steady."
A snarl works its way to your lips at the pet name, but before you can snap at him for the impropriety, Jeonghan shuffles closer and the crowd goes quiet. You realize how far away they seem, the sound dull like it's on the other side of a bubble. Jeonghan is close though - so close you have to tilt your chin up to look up at him, his eyes glittering as they watch you.
"You're quite good at playing a dutiful princess," he notes.
"You know nothing about me."
"Don't I?" His eyes search yours, and there's something sharp in his gaze, something that cuts through the fool's mask he wears. "I know you watch everything. I know you see more than you let on. I know you're the only person in this room who looks at me and wonders what I'm really doing here."
Your heart pounds harder, the rhythm so forceful you're certain he can see it in the pulse at your throat. He's far too close and far too observant for a mere jester. The air between your palms feels charged, almost electric, and you're acutely aware of every inch of space he occupies. You want to step back, to put distance between you and whatever game he's playing, but the crowd is watching and so is the king. So you look onward, staring at him as he smirks.
"Breathe," Jeonghan says, softer now, and there's something almost gentle in his tone that makes it worse somehow. "You're holding your breath, love."
“Stop calling me that.”
"Nervous?"
You glare. "No."
His grin widens a fraction. "Liar."
The word hangs between you, intimate and dangerous. No one else speaks to you like this. No one else would dare, but Jeonghan isn't like the others at court. He refuses to be cowed by your title and your cold shoulder, protected by the silly little performance he puts on, convincing others that he's a fool. It gives him a freedom that feels threatening, and you're the only one who seems to notice.
The hand that isn't pressed against yours moves, tracing a slow circle in the air around where your palms are joined. The movement is hypnotic, and you find yourself following the movement, watching as he repeats the motion a few times. For a moment, you feel a little hazy, eyes fluttering as your thoughts grow foggy. Then, your mind sharpens again, Jeonghan’s intense gaze coming into focus.
"Picture your card," he instructs, loud enough for the crowd to hear. "Imagine exactly what it looks like - the edges, the images. The way it's shaped. The colors used, the details of the card face."
You think of the seven of swords, trying to focus on the image of it, trying to use it as an anchor against the way your pulse races. It's difficult to do so with the warmth radiating from his palm and the way his breath stirs the air between you. He's close enough that you can count every one of his eyelashes and see the way his dark eyes catch the light from the chandeliers overhead.
As you try and picture the curling red numbers on the card and blue paint of the swords, you let your eyes flit over his sleeves. His hands. His pockets. You try to work out what exactly the charade is, ready to catch him in his trickery. You always try, and you always fail, never quite able to pin down the source of the performance.
"You're thinking about the card," he says, dropping his voice again so only you can hear. "But you're also thinking about how I'm doing this. Trying to work it out. Trying to catch me." You don't answer, feeling the heat hit your chest and cheeks as you flush under being caught. Jeonghan smirks, nodding. "You also don’t like being caught. Are you afraid of what I'll see when I look at you?"
"You see nothing, jester."
"Untrue." He tilts his head slightly, studying you with an intensity that makes your skin prickle. "I see someone who's hungry to be wanted. Someone who wants to be touched like those lovers in the ballad the bard was singing, with heat and urgency and desperate desire. Someone who wishes there was a person bold enough to touch her the way a princess is never supposed to be touched. To want her not because of the crown but despite it." His eyes glint with something darker. "And I see someone who looks at me and knows exactly what I am. A wolf in fool’s clothing, right?”
You want to deny it, but the words stick in your throat. You hate that Jeonghan is right and that he sees through you as easily as you see through him. There's a part of you that's always craved this kind of understanding, someone who could look past the crown and what lies beneath, but not like this. Not from him.
Being known by Jeonghan feels like standing naked before a predator, and the worst part is that you're not entirely certain you want to cover yourself. Your chest tightens with the contradiction of it, the simultaneous ache to be truly seen and the primal need to hide from his gaze.
"Now," Jeonghan says, and his voice drops again, intimate and teasing. "I'm going to find your card without ever touching the deck again. Without you saying a word." He leans in, just slightly, and you can feel the whisper of his breath against your temple, warm and deliberate. Your skin tingles where it touches. "Would you like to know how?"
You can't answer. Your throat has gone tight, and you're frozen there, caught between the urge to pull away and the strange, unwanted pull that keeps you rooted in place.
"I'm going to read your mind," he murmurs, and his lips are so close to your ear now that you feel each word as much as hear it. "I'm going to look into those careful, guarded eyes and see exactly what else you're hiding."
Your hands are shaking now, both of them, and you know he can see it. The crowd can probably see it too, but they likely think it's part of the act, part of the performance. They don't know that your heart is hammering so hard it hurts, that every nerve in your body is screaming at you to move, to step back, to break whatever spell he's weaving.
"It's the seven of swords," Jeonghan says, and his voice is soft enough to raise the hair on your arms.
Your eyes widen before you can stop yourself, before you can school your expression into something more controlled. The reaction is instinctive, damning, and you see the exact moment he registers it. See the satisfaction that flickers across his face.
"There it is," he murmurs, so quietly that you almost don't hear it over the blood rushing in your ears. "That's what I wanted to see."
Suddenly he steps back, and the loss of his proximity should be a relief but instead feels like an absence. His hand that was mirroring yours drops away to reveal that the card that was pressed between your palms is no longer there. You frown, mouth falling open slightly as he reaches toward your face. You go still as his fingers brush the edge of your jaw, feather-light and deliberate. It's barely contact at all, the barest whisper of his fingertips against you, but you feel it everywhere.
When he pulls his hand away, he's holding a card between two fingers, flicking it to show you the seven of swords. The crowd erupts in applause and delighted exclamations, the sound washing over you while you stare at him. You want to know how he did it, to know what you missed. Had his whispers distracted you from when he placed it there? Was it a trick of the light?
"Your Highness," Jeonghan says, and his voice is pitched for the crowd now, all performance and charm. He bows deeply, flourishing the card. "Thank you for your assistance."
When his eyes meet yours again, they tell a different story. They say he knows exactly what effect he's had on you. That he planned it, wanted it, enjoyed watching you unravel. It makes you step back, putting necessary distance between you as your heart hammers, your pulse deceiving you.
You excuse yourself as soon as the opportunity presents itself, your father turning to another lord as he laughs about something and the crowd pressing around Jeonghan, cutting him off from you. No one notices when you slip away from the gathered nobles, picking up the skirts of your dress as you rush for the exit, skin overheating.
Cool night air washes over you as you step into the gardens and away from all the noise and eyes. The sound of the ballroom has long since faded behind you, replaced by the gentle rustle of leaves and the soft trickle of water from the fountain somewhere deeper in the garden. You inhale deeply, letting the scent of roses and night-blooming jasmine fill your lungs, trying to steady the frantic beating of your heart.
The gardens are empty. Everyone is inside, drinking and dancing and watching Jeonghan perform his tricks. Out here, there's only moonlight filtering through the branches overhead, casting everything in silver and shadow. The paths wind between tall hedges and rose bushes, their blooms pale in the darkness. Your footsteps are quiet on the stone walkway as you move deeper into the maze, away from the ballroom, away from the noise and the eyes and the suffocating weight of your crown.
You walk without direction, letting your feet carry you past marble statues and flowering vines that climb the garden walls. The moonlight catches on the petals of white roses, making them glow like ghosts. Everything is still and quiet, peaceful in a way the ballroom could never be.
Out here, you can think. Out here, you can try to make sense of what just happened.
Except you can't make sense of it. Can't explain why Jeonghan's proximity affected you so deeply, why his whispered words felt like they were carving themselves into your skin, why the loss of his touch left you aching in ways you don't want to examine. You barely know him. You don't trust him. And yet-
"Running away, Your Highness?"
You spin around, heart leaping into your throat to see Jeonghan standing in the middle of the path behind you as though he's materialized from the shadows themselves. His little hat is nowhere to be found, dressed only in the velvet outfit with crystals glittering like stars. The moonlight above catches in his dark hair, turning it silver at the edges. His eyes gleam, and you become hyperaware of the unnatural quiet of his presence.
"I needed air," you say, trying to keep your voice steady.
"Mm." Jeonghan takes a step closer, his movements fluid and unhurried. "Or you needed to escape me."
You don't answer - can't answer, because he's right and you both know it. He moves closer still, slow and deliberate, and you suddenly feel like he's a wolf giving the sheep time to run if it wanted to. You don't run, your feet planted to the stone path even as your pulse hammers in your throat, even as every instinct screams that you should walk away.
"You know," Jeonghan says conversationally, stopping just within arm's reach, "most people can't wait to be near me. They laugh at my jokes, beg for my tricks, hang on my every word." His head tilts slightly, studying you. "But you? You look at me like I'm something dangerous."
"You are dangerous," you say before you can stop yourself. “Even if I can’t prove it.”
His smile is slow and devastating. "Yes. I am."
The admission should frighten you. Instead, it sends heat curling through your belly, making your breath catch in your chest. He's standing close enough now that you can see the way the moonlight plays across his features. He's beautiful, with a sharp jawline and elegant nose, the curve of his mouth full and dangerous, the kind of beauty that bards say is dangerous, luring people into the spider’s web.
"But that's not why you ran," Jeonghan continues.
"It's not?"
He shakes his head. "You ran because of what I said in there. Because I saw through you, and you didn't like it."
"You don't know anything about me."
He takes another step, and now he's close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from him, can see the way his gaze travels deliberately over your face, your throat, the rapid rise and fall of your chest.
"I already proved that isn't true, love."
Your breath catches. Heat floods your cheeks, your chest, spreading through your entire body. "You're far too presumptuous and entirely impromper."
"I'm observant."His eyes meet yours, and there's something raw in them now, something that makes your stomach flip. "And I know you felt it too. In the ballroom, when I was close to you. The way your breath changed. The way you leaned toward me even as you tried to pull away. The way you're looking at me right now, like you can't decide if you want to run or-"
"Or what, jester?" You demand, huffing. "If you know me so well, just say it."
Jeonghan's smile turns predatory. "Or if you want to stay right here and let me show you what you desire, no matter how improper it is."
Your heart is pounding so hard you're certain he can hear it. "You wouldn't dare."
"Wouldn't I?" He takes one more step, closing the distance until you can feel his breath against your lips, until you're backed against the rough bark of a tree you didn't realize was behind you. "I'm not afraid of your crown, love. I'm not afraid of what anyone would say or do. I'm not afraid of you."
The words send a thrill down your spine that you absolutely should not feel. His hand comes up, not touching you but hovering just beside your face, close enough that you can feel the heat of his palm against your cheek. You grit your teeth, refusing to lean into the hand the way you want to, refusing to give him the satisfaction again tonight.
"Why risk it, then?" You ask. "Only a fool would."
"I am a fool," he agrees. "Let me show you how foolish I am. Let me show you what it's like to be touched and desired. Let me show you what I've wanted to do since the moment I've met you and how I want to make you come undone. Let me make you lose all that polished control you loathe so much."
You should say no. Should push him away. Should remember every reason this is a terrible idea. But your body isn't listening to your mind, and you find yourself leaning toward him, drawing by the magnetic pull you've been fighting all evening.
"What do you say," he asks, hand coming to cradle your face and tilt it upward until you're looking at him with half-lidded eyes. "Do you want your desires answered?"
You lick your lips and his eyes track the movement, pupils expanding. Swallowing dryly, you give the shallowest nod, damning yourself to desire, to the feeling of being wanted and seen.
It's all he needs. Jeonghan's eyes darken, and then his mouth is on yours and the world narrows to just the heat of his lips, the press of his body as he crowds you back against the tree, the rough bark catching on the fabric of your gown. He kisses you like he's starving for it, deep and demanding, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that makes your knees weak.
You gasp into his mouth and he swallows the sound, one hand tangling in your hair while the other grips your hip hard enough to bruise. The kiss is nothing like you imagined. It's not gentle or reverent or careful, but instead it’s consuming, devastating, the kind of kiss that you never knew existed.
He tastes like wine and something darker, something that makes you want more even as your lungs burn for air. His teeth catch your lower lip and you whimper, your hands coming up to clutch at his shoulders, feeling the lean muscle beneath the fabric of his costume.
"I've wanted this for so long," Jeonghan murmurs against your mouth, then trails his lips down your jaw to your throat. "Wanted you. Do you know how difficult it was to keep my hands to myself during that trick? To stand so close and not touch you the way I really wanted to?"
His teeth graze your pulse point and you can't stop the sound that escapes you, half gasp, half moan. He makes a satisfied noise low in his throat, then his hand slides from your hip to your thigh, gathering the heavy fabric of your gown and pulling it up as you pant against the tree, your head digging into the bark.
"Tell me to stop," he says, but his fingers are already tracing the inside of your thigh, moving higher. "Tell me you don't want this. Tell me all my chasing and teasing and prodding is for nothing and that I should leave."
“I can’t.”
"Fuck," Jeonghan breathes against your throat, and the crude word from his elegant mouth sends another wave of heat through you.
His fingers find the edge of your undergarments and he pulls them aside with deliberate slowness, exposing you to the cool night air. When his fingers press against you directly, finding you already slick, you bite down on your lip to keep from crying out. The gardens are secluded and shadowed, but not so far from the ballroom that sound wouldn't carry.
"Don't," Jeonghan says, his free hand coming up to pull your lip from between your teeth. "I want to hear you. Want to know exactly what I'm doing to you. Want to hear every sound you make when I touch you like this."
His fingers slip between your slick folds and you do cry out then, unable to stop yourself. Your hands tighten on his shoulders, nails digging in through the fabric of his costume, and he groans like your pleasure is his own. You feel a shiver go through him and you realize he’s just as affected by you as you are by him and it makes the heat even worse, the knowledge that he wants you this badly turning your blood to fire.
"So wet," he murmurs, his fingers sliding through your folds, exploring you with maddening slowness. "So perfect. Is this what you were thinking about during the bard's song? Someone touching you like this? Making you fall apart?"
You can't answer. Can't form words. All you can do is gasp as his fingers circle your clit with devastating precision, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your entire body. Your legs turn molten and Jeonghan pins you against the tree with his hips, sliding one of his knees between your legs to keep you pried open for his hand.
"Answer me," Jeonghan demands. "Tell me what you were thinking about."
"Yes," you manage, the word coming out broken. "Yes, I was thinking about being touched."
His fingers press harder, moving in tight circles that make your vision blur. His fingers slide lower, teasing your entrance, and you can feel how wet you are, your entrance clenching around nothing as his fingers trace laze circles where you need him most, your hips twitching.
"I'm going to give you exactly what you want," he promises. "Going to make you come so hard you see stars.
He slides one finger inside you and you cry out, your back arching off the tree. He's watching your face with an intensity that should make you self-conscious, but you're too far gone to care, too lost in the sensation of his finger moving inside you, curling just right, finding spots that make you shake.
It feels so good - better than you imagined, even. Jeonghan is precise, leaning forward to leave bite marks and kitten licks up and down your neck as he works you slowly, finger pressing against your front wall in a way that sends you squirming against him. Your breath comes out in short, quick gasps, sweat gathering at the back of your neck as he fucks you with his finger, the wet press of his hand maddening.
"Look at you," Jeonghan murmurs, his voice rough with desire. "So beautiful like this. So desperate. I want to see you fall apart. Want to see your face when you come."
He adds a second finger and you whimper, your hands sliding from his shoulders to grip his arms, needing something to hold onto. The stretch is perfect, overwhelming, and when he curls his fingers inside you while his thumb finds your clit, you nearly sob, rolling your hips forward into his hand, thighs trembling as you clench down on his fingers.
"You're so tight," Jeonghan continues, his voice a dark purr in your ear. "So perfect around my fingers. I can feel how close you are. Can feel you clenching around me. Do you want to come, love? Do you want me to make you fall apart right here in the garden where anyone could find us?"
The thought should horrify you. Instead, it sends another wave of heat through you, making you clench harder around his fingers. You nod desperately, squeezing your eyes shut as your cunt throbs around his fingers and you writhe against the tree.
"You like that," he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. "Like the danger of it. Like knowing that you're supposed to be in there playing princess while you're out here letting the court jester play with this pretty pussy."
His words are filthy and crude, and they shouldn't affect you the way they do, but combined with the movement of his fingers, the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the heat of his body pressed against yours, you feel overwhelmed and strung out, the feeling low in your stomach coiling and coiling and coiling until you're babbling and squirming and squeezing your eyes shut.
"Please," you gasp, and you're not even sure what you're begging for.
"I know what you need." His fingers move faster, harder, curling inside you with devastating precision. "You need to let go. Need to stop thinking and just feel. Need someone to take control so you don't have to be perfect for once in your life."
His thumb presses harder against your clit, circling in tight, relentless patterns, and you can feel the pleasure building to an impossible peak. Your thighs are shaking, your breath coming in desperate gasps. Jeonghan invades your senses - the smell of him, the heat of him, the way his teeth scrape against your neck, the way his hair tickles against your skin.
"You're mine right now," Jeonghan growls. "Not a princess. Not a performance. Just mine. Say it."
"Yours," you gasp. "I'm yours."
"Good girl. Now come for me. Let me feel it. Let me watch you fall apart."
His fingers curl one more time, hitting that perfect spot inside you while his thumb works your clit, and the orgasm crashes over you like a wave. You cry out, unable to stop yourself, your body convulsing against the tree as pleasure floods through you. You clench around his hand, throbbing as your body shakes until you feel like you can't breathe.
Jeonghan works you through it, his fingers never stopping, drawing out your orgasm until you're boneless and gasping and oversensitive. He's murmuring praise in your ear now - how beautiful you are, how perfect, how he wants to do this again and again until you can't remember your own name - and it makes you dizzy, feeling like you're drunk off of him alone.
Finally, the waves subside and Jeonghan withdraws his hand slowly. You feel the loss of him like an ache, your legs still trembling and barely holding you up. He brings his fingers to his mouth, and you watch through hazy eyes as he licks them clean, tasting you. The sight sends another pulse of heat through you despite your exhaustion.
"Delicious," he murmurs, his eyes dark and satisfied. "Even better than I imagined."
Reality begins to seep back in slowly. The cool night air on your heated skin. The distant sounds of the party still going on inside. The rough bark of the tree against your back. What you've just done, and who you've done it with.
You should feel ashamed. Should feel horrified. Should be scrambling to fix your dress and run back to the safety of the ballroom. You don't. You feel satisfied and boneless and strangely alive all at once, like you've finally done something that feels real instead of the pretty performance.
When you look up at Jeonghan, you see him watching you, his expression unreadable in the shadow of the tree. The breeze makes the leaves dance, kissing your cooling skin as his hand comes up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your cheek with surprising gentleness.
"Regrets?" He asks, voices soft as the smoke that clings to him.
You should say yes and that this was a mistake, that it can never happen again and that you need to return to the ballroom and pretend this never happened. You should remind him that this is improper and unacceptable. Yet instead, you find yourself leaning into his touch, lashes fluttering.
"No," you admit. "No regrets."
Something like satisfaction shifts in his gaze, and he leans in and kisses you again. This time it's different - softer and slower, less consuming and more like he's savoring the taste and feel of your lips against his. You kiss him back, your hands sliding up his chest, feeling the crystals click against your skin as his heart pounds beneath your palms.
When he finally pulls back, you're both breathing hard again, and your mind is spinning with questions you're not sure you want answered.
"How did you do it?" you ask suddenly.
Jeonghan tilts his head, a small smile playing at his lips. "Do what?"
"The card trick. In the ballroom."
His smile widens, and there's something dangerous in it now."I already told you. I read your mind."
You shake your head, confusion and disbelief warring inside you. "That would make you something magical. Not just a jester with clever tricks."
"Yes," Jeonghan agrees, his eyes gleaming in the moonlight. "It would."
The implication of his words hits you like a physical blow. Your breath catches, your mind racing through everything you know about him, everything you've seen, the way he seems to move through the world like something other. Like something more.
He's grinning now, watching the realization dawn across your face, and then he's kissing you again, harder this time, more possessive, like he's claiming you. Like he knows exactly what he's revealed and doesn't care. When he pulls back, his lips are still close enough that you can feel his breath against your mouth.
"You thought it yourself earlier, didn’t you?" he murmurs, teeth catching your bottom lip sharply. "I'm a wolf in fools' clothing."
As for my request, can you write a fluffy Seokjin x reader? Basically, the reader, Seokjin and Seokjin's family are celebrating with a nice dinner at a restaurant. Reader surprises Seokjin with a birthday cake she baked (with help from the family hehe) and a gaming console he's very interested in.
After dinner, everyone walks in a pre-Christmas winter market in Seoul, the couple spend time alone chatting and drinking mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. Then, Seokjin tells her he has fallen in love with her again. After that, without the reader knowing, he tells the members he has the best day ever through phone call. Everyone is screaming, teasing Jin.
Love , cake , teasing with KIM SEOKJIN
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Established Relationship, Domestic Romance Warnings: None , just tooth-rotting sweetness, family cuteness, and Seokjin being the world's biggest softie
🎧 “You Are In Love” by Taylor Swift
The restaurant was warm and glowing, golden light spilling over white tablecloths and the soft chatter of Seokjin’s family. His mother kept refilling your plate before you could even ask, his father was telling the same embarrassing story about toddler Jin trying to marry the neighbor’s cat, and Seokjin himself sat beside you with his arm draped casually over the back of your chair, thumb brushing lazy circles against your shoulder.
It was his birthday, but he was the one spoiling everyone with jokes and endless dad-puns. You loved him like this relaxed, surrounded by the people who knew him before the spotlights and stadiums, cheeks pink from good food and laughter.
When the lights dimmed just a little and the waitstaff brought out the surprise, Seokjin’s eyes went wide.
The cake was slightly lopsided (your fault), but beautifully iced in soft blue and silver with tiny fondant stars and one very determined strawberry on top.
His family clapped and sang loudly off-key while you carried it carefully to the table, heart hammering. “You baked this?” he asked, voice soft with disbelief as you set it down. “With heavy supervision and moral support from your mom,” you admitted, laughing. “She wouldn’t let me burn the kitchen down.”
His mother beamed. “She did most of the decorating. Our girl has talent.” Seokjin looked at you like you’d hung the moon. He blew out the candles in one dramatic breath, then pulled you into a tight hug right there at the table, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I love it,” he whispered against your hair. “I love you.”
But the real surprise came after dessert. You slid the neatly wrapped box across the table. When he tore the paper and saw the latest gaming console he’d been eyeing for months (the one that sold out instantly), his jaw actually dropped.“You—how did you—” .
He looked between you and his father, who was failing terribly at looking innocent. “You two conspired against me!” “Happy birthday, Jinnie,” you said, grinning.He kissed you properly this time, quick and sweet and full of gratitude, while his older brother fake gagged and his mother pretended not to wipe her eyes.
The winter market was pure magic.Twinkling lights draped over wooden stalls, the air smelled of roasted chestnuts and cinnamon, and soft snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky. Seokjin’s family wandered ahead, giving the two of you space.
You walked hand-in-hand, fingers laced inside his coat pocket for warmth.
At a little stall glowing with fairy lights, you both got steaming mugs of hot chocolate piled high with whipped cream and rainbow marshmallows. Seokjin stole a marshmallow from your cup with a mischievous grin; you retaliated by dabbing whipped cream on his nose. He retaliated by kissing it off, making you laugh so hard you almost spilled your drink.
You found a quiet bench under a canopy of lights. The city hummed around you, but right then it felt like the world had narrowed to just the two of you.Seokjin looked at you for a long moment, snow catching in his dark hair, cheeks flushed from the cold and the chocolate.
“I keep thinking I couldn’t possibly love you more,” he said quietly, voice warm like the drink in your hands. “And then days like today happen. You do things like bake a cake with my mom and hunt down that stupid console I mentioned once. And I fall in love with you all over again. Deeper every time.”
Your heart did a full somersault. You leaned into him, forehead against his shoulder.
“I fall in love with you every day too, Seokjin.” He wrapped both arms around you, mug set aside, and held you like he never wanted to let go.
Later that night, after everyone had said their goodbyes and you were back at the apartment changing into pajamas, Seokjin stepped out onto the balcony for “fresh air.” You didn’t think much of it until you heard the familiar chaos through the cracked door.
“Hyung, you sound way too happy. Did she propose or something?” Jungkook’s voice, teasing. “Better. She baked me a cake. With my mom. And got me the console the one that sold out in seven minutes. I’m telling you, I have the best girlfriend in the universe.”
There was a chorus of screams and groans.
“Jin-hyung is simping again!”
Hoseok yelled.
“Tell her we said thank you for keeping his big head fed,” Namjoon added, laughter in his voice. Yoongi’s deadpan drawl cut through, “If you start crying on the phone I’m hanging up.”
“I’m not crying!”
Seokjin protested, but his voice was suspiciously thick.
“I’m just… it was the best day. I’m so lucky. She makes every day feel like this.”
More screaming. Taehyung started singing an off-key ballad about “Jinnie and his domestic bliss.”
Jimin demanded photos of the cake. Jungkook asked if he could come over tomorrow to play the new console. You stood in the doorway smiling like an idiot, heart so full it hurt. When Seokjin finally ended the call and turned around, he found you waiting with open arms. He walked straight into them, hiding his flushed face in your neck.
“You heard all that, didn’t you?”
“Every word, birthday boy.”
He groaned, but his arms tightened around you.
“Good. Because it’s true. Best day ever.”
You kissed the top of his head, breathing in his warmth against the winter chill still clinging to his sweater.
“Many more to come, Kim Seokjin. I’m not done falling in love with you either.”
Synopsis 🌷 You're going to do it this year. You're going to beat that irritating, self righteous ass hat that runs the rival flower shop across the street. You're going to become the country's best florist, you're going to become florist of the year. Hopefully.
Genre 🌷 Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Smut, Fluff
Plot Warnings 🌷 family loss, mental health struggles, struggling to cope with loss, Seungkwan is the bestie we all need, business rivals, he's a complete ass hole but then so is OC to a point, I've no idea which flowers work together so everything explicity to do with flower arrangements is probably wrong, a lot of linking self worth to success, mutual pining?, found family
Smut Warnings 🌷female masturbation, dry humping, a lot of discussion about what does and does not constitute dry humping (they're both idiots)
Word Count 🌷 10.5k
a/n 🌷 Yesterday I reached 600 followers, 10,000 likes and a 1000 reblogs all on the same day which is INSANE considering I didn't think anyone would read the silly stories I write when I'm trying to ignore actual work. So thank you to everyone who reads them and engages with them, and everyone who follows me. I should've probably uploaded a slighty happier story to celebrate but this one really means a lot to me. So thank you and it really means the world that people seem to enjoy what I write 🩷
“_____, you should really head out front. There's this guy. Tall, handsome, I swear he's a walking wet dream."
“Well then you ask him out." You answer Seungkwan distractedly as you try to find more wire for the display you're trying to finish.
“Sure," Seungkwan scoffs, “that'll go down really well with my girlfriend."
“Well then I don't know what you want me to say. Just serve him and send him on his way."
“Well that's the thing, he doesn't seem to want to buy anything."
“What?" You sit up, leaves and bits of wire falling from you as you turn around to him.
“Yeah, he's just browsing," Seungkwan leans out of your office to check he's still there, sending him a wave when clearly the walking wet dream waves at him, “asking about how business is going."
“How tall?"
“Oh, about, this high?" Seungkwan places his hand to show where the wet dream would be against his own height.
"Seungkwan,” you mutter darkly, your eyes clearly showing your annoyance from the way Seungkwan tenses, "did I not tell you about Jeonghan?”
"The man who owns the other flower shop?”
"The devil that ruins everything good in this world.”
"Ok?" His eyes widen as he backs away from you, “But what does he have to do with this? This man seems really sweet! Seriously, you should…..”
But Seungkwan doesn't get to finish his sentence because you've slammed your scissors on the worktable and marched past him.
Maybe Seungkwan is right, some hot Adonis may have walked into your shop. But you know in your heart of hearts that this isn't that.
A man that comes into a flower shop and doesn't buy anything? That's not normal. Unless they're very into flowers and if that's the case then they know what they want and they're gone in the blink of an eye. Every other man is either someone in blind panic because they've forgotten something, in a rush because their partner found out they're cheating and they're hoping flowers would in some way make up for their lack of keeping their dick in their pants or they've no clue what they want and so they ask for help straight away.
But a man just browsing? Unheard of.
So that leaves one option.
“Jeonghan."
“______!" He smirks as he turns around slowly, him having been sniffing your roses.
“Out."
“Huh," he laughs fakely, “no wonder I have most of your customers, I see your friendly disposition hasn't improved."
“Get. Out."
“You know," he looks past you, “if you ever want to work for someone who isn't," he looks you up and down, “this." He gestures at you, “I'm always looking for new workers. We have so much to do,"
“He works here. Get out Jeonghan."
"You don't know what I want. Maybe I'm raising money for the needy.”
"Oh please,” you scoff, "you don't care about anyone but yourself. You're just here to cheat.”
"Why would I need to cheat? I've been Korea's Top Florist for the past two years on the bounce. How many years have you been top florist?”
You don't answer.
"Well?”
"I haven't.” You mumble.
"What was that?”
"I haven't!”
"No need to shout," he mocks.
“You've only won because of your little gaggle of idiots that worship the ground you walk on. I bet you don't even do half the arrangements yourself!”
"Just because I take care of my hands, unlike you,” he glances down, "who seems to have the hands of an old ship merchant.”
You shouldn’t have left your wire in your office. It would look so pretty wrapped around his fucking neck.
“Are you done?"
“Do you want me to put those peonies in the bin as I leave?"
“Oh they're not rubbish! They're for the com-pe-tition…..” Seungkwan folds in on himself and tries to stop talking as you turn and give him a look of utter disgust.
Jeonghan snorts, obviously over the moon with himself.
"Bye then!” He grins as he strides out of the shop. "Good luck this weekend _____! You'll need it.” You hear him tack on that last bit as the door closes.
An eery silence falls over your beloved flower shop as you turn slowly to face Seungkwan.
“I didn't know who he was! I've only been here two weeks!"
“I described him to you! I told you exactly what to watch out for!"
“You said he looked like a troll!"
“He does!"
“Oh common _____, even I can see he's hot."
“Well why don't you just go work for him then!"
“Because you're my friend and I said I'd help you out!"
“Oh you've really done that," you fold your arms, “you've told him the main flower on my display!"
“Surely if he's won, he won't need to cheat!"
You gawk at Seungkwan. You'd been friends since school but he'd been living abroad for the past five years until he came home one Christmas, fell in love and moved back home. He'd heard you moan about Jeonghan but there's only so much you can hear about one person until you eventually stop listening. And that's what Seungkwan had done. He doesn't really remember a single thing you said had happened in the two years since Jeonghan opened his shop because it's never ending when it comes to you and Jeonghan. And frankly, he doesn't understand why you make such a big deal of it. You both have good businesses, it all just seems very pointless.
“Two years ago, he came in here, saw I was using lilies as the main flower and suddenly he was too. Last year, I used hydrangeas and sweet peas, he used hydrangeas and sweet peas.”
"It's probably a coincidence.”
"It isn't! And he doesn't do them himself, Seungkwan!”
"He must be able to do something, he opened a shop."
“Who's side are you on?!"
“Yours!"
“It doesn't seem like it!" You rush past him, smacking his shoulder with yours.
You've got too much to do other than to argue with Seungkwan about something he's clearly not bothered to take any interest in when you've been telling him.
"Seungkwan!”
"Mrs Kim, Mrs Park! How are you both! Gosh it's been years!”
Two old ladies in coats much too bright for a Friday afternoon walk into the shop, their arms outstretched in greeting at the man who they knew as a boy.
"Well it would be dear! That's what happens when you move across the world and forget about us!”
"I could never forget about you,” he rolls his eyes as he moves to hug both of the old ladies.
"How's our _____?”
"Stressed," Seungkwan sighs as he sits back on the stool behind the counter, “and I think I've made it worse. That guy that owns the other flower shop came in and we've both upset her."
“I wish she wouldn't pay attention to him. He goes out of way to annoy her and she falls for it every time." Mrs Kim shakes her head.
The two old ladies had been a mainstay of the shop since the day it opened. The shop originally belonged to your grandmother and their best friend. They made quite the formidable trio and they knew everything about everyone. You'd more or less been brought up by the three of them.
Your parents had been killed in a freak accident when a bridge collapsed, when you were seven. Your grandmother raised you, she built you up from the shell of a girl that landed on her doorstep and Mrs Kim and Mrs Park were right there with her. You’d never met your grandfather, he'd died years before you were born and so you had three of the strongest women you'd ever met as your role models.
They loved you like you were their own and you loved them more than anything. They didn't make up for what you'd lost. But they never made you feel alone or unloved, you never missed that strong sense of home because they'd become your home.
"Does he really cheat?”
"I don't know,” Mrs Park dismisses, "if you ask me, they love each other.”
Seungkwan chokes on his drink much to the delight of Mrs Kim and disgust of Mrs Park, who throws a tissue at him.
"I don't think so, I've never seen her so annoyed with anyone,"
“I agree with Seungkwan," says Mrs Kim meekly.
“You two just haven't been paying attention." She rolls her eyes, “Anyway. When are you going to get married?"
“Me?" Seungkwan points to himself with wide eyes.
“You've been with that young lady for over a year now. I’d put a ring on it before she finds out all of your bad habits."
"I'll think about it,” he grumbles as he takes a sip of his drink.
"I can see why she's upset, the first year she feels ready to enter that competition and he turns up and takes over!”
"He has a right to enter it,” Mrs Park says matter of factly, "she just needs to focus.”
"She's pretty focused,” Seungkwan glances at your closed office door, "I'm not sure she's slept in days. I don't get why they're the way they are with each other. I know I've not been helping out for long but there's a steady stream of customers, it's not like he's stolen her business.”
"It's her patch.” Mrs Kim shrugs.
"It's a public street.”
"You know,” Mrs Kim turns to her friend, "not everything has to be prim and proper or by the rules. Sometimes you can take someone's side simply because they're your person.”
“I will always have ______’s back. I just don't see the point in beating about the bush. He has his store. She has hers. Yes, some customers from here have gone there but some have done the opposite. They're both being childish."
Mrs Kim ignores her, she's always been the jollier, more easy going of the two and she's ready to fight for you at the drop of a hat. Mrs Park would too but not in the same way. She's pragmatic and matter of fact, there's rules and those rules are there for you to live by. She's no time for the whimsy in life unlike her best friend.
“She was stressed the past two years but this year," Mrs Kim frowns at the office door, “she just seems worse. She's had the design planned for months and that poor man at the flower market was ready to block her number because she kept ringing so many times to make sure he had all the right stuff."
“She’s definitely not herself," Seungkwan agrees.
“Whatever it is, she'll tell us in her own time." Mrs Park nods, joining them in looking at the door which they know you're behind, knee deep in off cuts and floral foam.
“It’s time like this I wish her grandmother was still here," Seungkwan says quietly.
The two old ladies just nod, both trying to fight tears, as they all keep looking at the office door. They miss her just as much as you do. Life hadn't been the same in the three years since she'd passed and left you her beloved flower shop. Even the shop itself felt like it was frozen in time.
Where Jeonghan's was modern and clean, with sleek holders for his flowers, yours was a bit on the quirkier side. Your buckets were metal and mismatched and you had bunting and fairy lights hanging from the ceiling, it was cute if not a bit on the older side. But you loved it. Even if you did now have an influx of influencers outside because apparently your little shop was “peak cottage core".
It was yours. And it was home. And that's all that mattered.
"Why isn't he here yet?”
"Why do you care?” Seungkwan asks, clearly annoyed because this is your third time asking.
"Because it's weird. Normally he takes the day off like we all do to get set up. It makes no sense to set everything up tomorrow morning, it's too big a rush.”
You've been in the competition hall all day. Just like every other competitor for Korea's Top Florist. And yet Jeonghan had chosen to open his shop. His display area was right next to yours and you hadn't even seen any of his minions wandering around. It was weird. And it was beginning to make you feel on edge.
"Maybe he had a wedding to get ready for.”
"Maybe a funeral.” You stick a peony into the ornate arch you'd been creating for days, "hopefully his own.”
Seungkwan looks up at you from the bottom of the ladder you're standing on, like he's trying to figure something out.
"What?”
"Nothing,” he shrugs, "just thinking about something Mrs Park said.”
You frown at him but he's clearly got no intention of telling you what they were gossiping about so you go back to fighting with your lavender.
“I like this design," he changes the subject as you descend down the ladder.
“Really? You don't think it's too simple? Too bland?"
“I don't," he looks at your display, “I think it's perfect. It's simple, sure but it's classic."
“Classic doesn't win awards." You sigh as you fix one of the smaller bouquets.
“It doesn't, but the way you've done it just might. You're an amazing florist _____, don't let some idiot bring you down. You do you. Fuck what anyone else does."
“Thank you Seungkwan," you rest your head on his shoulder, “I'm sorry for how I've been. I appreciate you helping you know."
“I know you do," he rests his head on yours, “and when I've got my business up and running, you can return the favour."
“Deal." You giggle.
“Just go home and try and chill out. You've done everything you can, tomorrow we deal with whatever the world throws at us.”
"How did I get such a great best friend?” You grin at him.
"You shared your cookies with me at lunch when we were five. I've always been easily bought.”
As much as you've tried to relax, there's still one thing playing on your mind. What the fuck had been so important that Jeonghan felt like he could just not use the prep day for the most important competition in the country. Well for florists anyway.
Even as you're watching some trash on TV in bed, all you can think about is where Jeonghan was.
You glance at your phone. But then straight away avert your eyes back to the TV.
But you could just take one glance? See if he'd put something up on Instagram? If it was that important surely he'd be straight on Instagram, he's always pouting and posing on there. Not that you look. Very often.
It doesn't matter. Like Seungkwan said, you do you. It doesn't matter what he's doing.
What if it's something you don't know about though? What if there's been some community planning meeting and they're about to bulldoze your whole street? That's just the type of thing he'd purposely not tell you about. He'd let you turn up to rubble whilst he banked the pay off he wouldn't have told you about.
No you need to check his Instagram, it's a matter of public safety at this point.
You head to the search bar but embarrassingly his page is first on the list of recents. Anyway. One click on his profile and you see that he's updated his stories. For fuck’s sake. He does this on purpose, you're certain he sublimely knows you check his profile and so makes it harder for you.
More fool him though. You log out of your Instagram and into another account. A decoy account you'd set up in the name of your cat. She doesn't post much, it's pretty hard with no thumbs, but occasionally you'll remember to update it. Not that you really need to, it only has five accounts that follow thousands of people and you'd only really set it up to spy on Jeonghan.
You get settled in bed, making sure you're in optimum comfort for your covert spying and press on his stories.
Well that's disappointing. It's just some flowers. You know he's a florist but you were hoping for something more juicy than flowers.
You almost drop your phone though when you press onto the next story.
It's him. In a suit, hair pulled back showing his forehead and standing with a woman in a wedding dress. He's married?! He's been engaged and you didn't know?! He's……oh no wait. No, it's his sister. Calm down ______.
But fuck does he look good though. He's broader than you realise and the suit only accentuates that.
You groan as your pussy betrays you. That familiar tingle between your legs whenever you stop to really look at the man that ruins every day of your life. Because no matter how hard you try, you can't deny that you're attracted to him. Yes, you told Seungkwan that he looked like a troll but in the comfort of your own bed you can admit that he's your dream man. If only he didn't have the personality of a viper, he'd be more than a catch.
Your thumb stays on the screen, your eyes rushing over the picture again and again as you take in the man in front of you. Your mind drifts off into places that aren't unusual, images of you and Jeonghan rolling around in a field of wildflowers, your hands all over each other. Him whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he completely ravages you.
There's already a mess between your thighs, you know there is. Your phone falls from your hand as you imagine it being Jeonghan's hand tucking under the waist band of your pyjama shorts instead of your own, imagining it was his long perfect fingers that were circling your clit.
What you wouldn't give to feel him hovering over you, his soft lips scattering kisses across your body as he slips that first finger into you. Your hips buck a little when all that fills your hole is your own disappointing finger so you go back to your clit, you need to cum now you've started, you can't be fucked off with fantasy Jeonghan as well as real Jeonghan.
You've no doubt he's good with his fingers but it's his tongue that you can never get out of your mind. The way it pokes out when he smirks and thinks he's got the upper hand over you. Two of your fingers frantically start rubbing your clit as you imagine that tongue, always so quick with its harsh words, flicking your clit as you pull on his hair to keep him close to you.
Your fingers are frantic as you're completely lost in your fantasy, completely lost in the idea of Jeonghan being lost in you. It's just as you're imagining how good it'd feel as he stretched you open with his big dick, that you're certain fantasy Jeonghan has, that your fingers finally bring you the release you needed.
Even as you're cumming, your fingers still moving in little circles, you imagine him whispering in your ear how good you've been for him, about how pretty you look when you cum for him and it just draws the orgasm even longer.
Your fingers slow and eventually Jeonghan disappears from your brain, gradually everything disappears from your brain as you drift off to sleep, your hand still in your pyjamas and your phone still lit beside you. Not a care in the world for what’s about to happen.
“He didn't go with peonies then?" Seungkwan says as he comes to stand next to you.
This can't be happening. How has he built a fucking maze out of flowers in a show area so small?! It's like something from Alice In Wonderland! You're half expecting an obnoxious Queen of Hearts to come strutting out.
"I don't……I think…….How has he done that?” You panic.
You thought you'd done it this year. It wasn't wild in design but it was perfectly put together. A whole perfect scene of countryside style flowers. It was like something you'd see at a wedding in the country, soft pinks with lavender and baby’s breath and peonies as the focus. It all ended in an ornate arch with bouquets and jars filled with flowers everywhere. It was classy and even the old lady that used to judge the competition said she had a good feeling when she stopped by yesterday.
But you can't compete with what he's done. Any confidence you had disappeared the second you walked in and saw them manoeuvring fucking hedges about the place.
"We may as well go home now,”
"______, no,”
"What's the point Seungkwan, look at it.” You both turn back again as a rose bush shaped like a rabbit gets wheeled in.
"It's overkill.”
"It's incredible.”
"I'm pleased we both think so.” You both jump when you hear a fucking irritating voice directly behind you.
"Jeonghan.” You turn, gritting your teeth.
"You like my entry then?” He looks behind you at his maze, "yours is……something," he sighs like he hasn't got time for your pitiful excuse of an entry.
“You know what they say about men who show off, always compensating for something," how you've got the nerve to be so cocky when you got off just last night to the idea of what he's compensating for, you don't know.
“Oh the only thing I'm compensating for is the poor judges who have to look at that," he looks at your display, “before they get to see mine."
“You've got some nerve, you know that?" You step closer to him, “This competition used to be sought after before you and your tacky ways turned up."
“How would you know?" he steps even closer to you, “You only plucked up the courage to enter two years ago. Not my fault you got beaten by a superior florist.”
"Florists.” You correct him.
"What?”
"Well,” you scoff, "it's not you doing the work is it? It's them,” you point at his little squad of idiots, "you've just turned up here and done fuck all.”
"Well I'd ask if you had help. But from the state of that it's clear it's all you.”
You ball your fists, how fucking dare he. The whole point is that you do most of it yourself. How the hell do they judge the best florist if it's a team of twenty people?
"Where’s your costume Jeonghan?”
"What costume?”
"Well I presume it's you who'll be wearing the dress for the queen of hearts, your heads exactly the same shape as Helena Bonham Carter’s in the film!"
“Better than being as ridiculous as the fucking Mad Hatter. Always moping about the place and making everyone miserable!”
Your heart clenches at that. You don't make people miserable. It's just that in the two years Jeonghan has been on the same street as you, you haven't really had anything to be happy about. You lost the last piece of family you had. You didn't really feel like skipping down the street singing about how lovely life was.
"That's enough,” Seungkwan stands between you and Jeonghan, hoping to stop the little scene that others had started to notice. “Just drop it. Both of you. The judges will be round soon, they don't need to see this."
“I'm done here anyway,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes as he wanders off. Probably to move a singular rose and pretend like that means he's contributed.
“You're not mad. And you're not miserable." Seungkwan says sternly.
“Can we go home? This whole thing is ruined anyway."
You try to move past him but he stops you.
“Move," you try to bat him away.
“No." He grabs your shoulders.
“You're not mad. You're ______. You're our _____ and life's been pretty fucking shitty to you. I don't care what the fucker over there has or doesn't have. You've made that display and you should be fucking proud of it. So you're going to stay here, with me, and show the judges all the hard work you've done.”
“But he's got a bush shaped like a dolphin Seungkwan!"
“And you've got one of the most intricately designed things I've ever seen in my life. Seriously _____," he shakes you a little bit when you roll your eyes, “I can't even fathom how you've done all of that, every last detail is perfect. And you loved it yesterday. Don't let what he's done change that."
“It'll be embarrassing though,"
“He's embarrassing, he has to make you feel small to make himself feel better. Come on, snap out of it. Mrs Kim and Mrs Park will be here soon, don't let them find you sad."
“I suppose. Only if you promise we can get drunk later."
“I'll text Nari and tell her to buy tequila.” He smiles as he walks you back to your display.
"Tell her to buy two. And some snacks. And some more tequila.”
"You got it,” he snickers.
"You should really marry her y’know.”
"Only if you promise to recreate this for us,” he stops you in front of your display.
It’s pretty phenomenal even if you do say so yourself. It's like something out of a fairytale.
"That depends on if she buys the right snacks.”
"I'm sorry,” Seungkwan slurps his soda, "but needing a break in judging is pathetic. They've only done half!”
"Maybe they'll be a little brighter after lunch though, more inclined to give high marks?”
"Hopefully. No! Not hopefully because yours is bad!” He panics when your eyes widen. "They just seem a grumpy bunch. Hopefully anything that makes them more likely to score highly, the better.”
You just nod and eat your last fry.
“I think I'm going to head back, you said you’d ring Nari anyway."
“You don't need me to come with you?"
"I'll be fine,” you smile.
"I'll be there soon, don't go starting any fights!”
You roll your eyes and wander off. You just need a couple of minutes alone to sort your head out.
You don't need to put yourself through this competition but it's become an obsession almost. You need to win it. You need to prove that you can do it. Your grandmother had won it six times. Your mother had won it once when she worked with your grandmother for a couple of summers. You needed to do this.
You don't stop to chat with anyone, just walk from the cafeteria to the competition hall and hope you've got enough time to quadruple check everything again before the judges arrive. Not that there's really anyone to chat to, everyone has been working so hard. The second the judges said there was a break for lunch, everyone scrambled out of the hall.
You round the corner of the makeshift walkway which has display areas either side and glare at Jeonghan's masterpiece.
He's such an asshole. He's always so…..
But any thoughts you had in your head disappear instantly when you see your display.
Every container and jug with a bouquet in it is overturned, your entire archway is broken in half with heads of flowers all over the place from the force it's been hit with. The whole thing a fucking mess. Everything is destroyed. Everything you'd worked on for nearly two months, all the sleepless nights about how you’d place every last fucking flower. Gone. In an instant.
Your heart thuds, your hands shaking though you're not sure whether it's in anger or because you're distraught.
Who would do this?
Who would ruin any chance you had of even showing your work let alone winning with it.
It's fucking cruel. It's something that….
Jeonghan.
You hear voices filling the hall, lunch obviously having finished and everyone eager to get on with the competition.
But you've never felt so trapped and ashamed.
What the hell are the judges going to say when they see this? How are you going to face every other competitor? You could plead with them, beg them for another chance. But what would be the point? The competition is a one day thing, you can't fix this in a day.
“_____?" Seungkwan says quietly as approaches you and sees the state of your display. “What happened?"
“I don't know, I came back and it was like this. What do I do Seungkwan? How can I fix it? They'll be here in like two minutes. There's only one person before me!”
"Er,” he rushes past you, squatting down to pick up a torn off peony, "I don't know _____. I really just, who would do this?”
"You really have to ask?”
You hear Jeonghan's voice, him holding court with his employees as they saunter back to their area just next to yours but before you can say anything to him, the judges descend.
"Sorry we're early _____, the lady previous to you had to rush home. Family emergency oh.” They all stop dead, looking at your display.
You feel like the world is closing in on you. Jeonghan has spotted the judges and he's walking towards your area, every other competitor seems to be appearing too, the judges are here and you can't fucking escape them.
Everything is too loud and yet there seems to be a deafening silence as people spot your entry.
So you do the only thing you can. You stand in silence as everyone watches and the judges fill out their marking papers, though what they're marking, you don't know. It's just a pile of shit, the only place it belongs is on a compost heap.
You know Jeonghan is looking at you but you can't face him. You won't let him see you broken. You won't give him the satisfaction.
Seungkwan comes to stand by you, his hand moving to wrap around your shoulder but he thinks better of it and just stands silently by you as you go through this humiliation ritual.
The judges give you an overly polite smile as they leave and gradually people disperse from your display area, muttering and chuckling about what you've presented. They can't have thought it was meant to look like this? Surely they don't think you're that terrible a florist that you'd present utter crap as your entry?
You hear as everyone oohs and ahhs over Jeonghan’s entry and finally, now they've all gone, you let yourself break a little. Not completely, but a little.
“Who did this? Was it him?"
You just nod and wipe a tear off your cheek.
“Shall we go?" He rushes, just wanting to get you away from the situation.
“No. I'll stay for my score."
“_____," he moans like he knows you're just going to hurt yourself more the longer you stay, “don't make it harder for yourself. Let's go and get drunk."
“I’m staying Seungkwan."
“_____?"
Both your heads whip around to find Mrs Park and Mrs Kim approaching slowly, clearly baffled as to what's happened.
“Hi," you smile fakely, “the judges have been! We're just waiting for the result!"
“W-what?"
“H-how?"
But they both stop when Seungkwan shakes his head, silently telling them to leave it.
And so they just sit with you, all four of you sharing some raspberry tea Mrs Kim has brought in a flask as you wait for the judges to finish their deliberations.
The second they tell you your score. Or lack of one because they deemed there was nothing suitable to judge, you tell the three of them you're heading home. They don't stop you. They know you well enough by now to leave it until you're ready to speak about it. But it doesn't stop them worrying as they watch you leave the building, clearly wiping tears from your eyes.
“You should really lock your doors _____."
You spin round when you hear his voice.
“You shouldn't just let yourself into people's shops, especially when the closed sign is on the door." You turn away from him because Jeonghan is the last person you want to see.
“Are you ok?"
“What?" You turn back to face him, anger bubbling in your stomach, “Are you being serious?! You do all that and then barge in here and ask me that?!"
"You can't think I did that?!”
"Oh what, you're going to try and spin this as it was so shit, why would I waste my time ruining it? Fuck you Jeonghan! Just go away and leave me alone!”
You carry on cleaning the surfaces like you had been doing when he let himself in here.
“It was one of the florists from Busan. I made them check the CCTV. She heard the judges commenting on your display, saying how amazing it was and she did what she did."
"Yeah right.” You keep wiping even though you're pretty certain the place has never been cleaner.
"It's true.”
"It was shit. You said so yourself. I doubt they said any of that bullshit.”
“You don't want to listen to me. What do I know?”
“Who won?"
“Does it matter?"
“Who won Jeonghan?"
A pause.
“I did."
"Congratulations.” You throw the cloth in the sink and decide to rearrange your scissors instead of looking at him.
"I'm sorry.”
"You said you didn't do it.”
"I mean for everything.”
You just ignore him.
"I didn't intend to start this war. It's just that day I moved into my shop, you were sort of rude and I guess…….”
"I was rude and you decided to ruin my life?!”
"I didn't ruin it, you gave as good as you got!”
"You stole my ideas!”
"I didn't……well, I mean I altered my ideas when I saw yours, sure. But I didn't steal anything. And I definitely didn't this time!”
“Well at least you admit it, I guess!"
“Why is it even that important to you! It's just a stupid fucking competition!"
“That's easy for you to say! You won it!"
“I only kept entering to annoy you! To spend time with you!"
“You didn't even want to win?!"
You lose it, tears stream down your cheeks and you struggle to catch your breath. You'd have hit the ground but luckily Jeonghan’s quick on his feet and he scoops you into his arms, lowering you both onto the ground of your flower shop as you break your heart crying.
You must spend ten minutes sobbing into his arms, struggling to catch your breath as he soothingly rubs your back and whispers that everything will be ok.
But how can it be? He’s made sure it won't be. Or so you thought, you suppose he's got no reason to lie about the evil florist from Busan. But it doesn't stop the stab of sadness that shatters your heart every time you try to catch your breath.
Once your breathing gets a little more regular and your tears fall slower, he makes you sit up so he can look at you.
"I never meant to make you feel like this, I never meant to upset you at all. It all just got out of hand,”
"It's not about you,”
"_____ please I'm trying to apologise,” he pleads.
"No, I'm saying it's not about you. It's never been about you. I needed to do this. I made my whole life centre around winning this and now I've failed again. They'd be so ashamed of me, they'd be so disappointed in me,” you cry.
"Who?” He frowns, moving so you're both leaning against the cupboard next to each other.
"My parents. My grandma.” You shrug as you wipe your cheeks, though fresh tears still wet them.
"Did they not see it yesterday? Before everything happened earlier?"
“Pretty impossible." You huff out a sad laugh.
“Why?"
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye and pull your knees up to your chest.
“My parents died when I was seven. This shop," you look around with a sad smile, “it was my grandma's. She died three years ago. She raised me. Her and her two friends. This is all I've ever known. I thought," your voice cracks when your lip wobbles again, “I thought if I won, like my mom did, like my grandma did six times, it'd be something we shared. I-I thought," you sniff, “they'd be proud of me."
“Oh _____."
“I don't need pity. All anyone ever gives me is pity. It does nothing, it doesn't help anything. I," you wipe your nose, tears still falling, “I don't even remember them, my parents I mean. I just wanted something to share with m-my m-mom."
“And I ruined it."
“You won," you shrug, pulling your sweater over your hands, “I'm not good enough. Everyone knows it and now I can stop kidding myself too."
“Are you joking?!”
“Did you not see your name on that trophy three years in a row now?"
“_____, those first two years I stole some of your ideas and this year, it was all my mom's ideas. I'm a good florist," he concedes, “but I'm terrible with ideas. I've only won because of other people.”
"You still won. My designs and execution still weren't good enough.”
"Well we’ll agree to disagree. Next year, you'll smash it.” He says matter of factly.
"There won't be a next year, I'm done with it. I can't go back there, everyone was laughing at me, everyone saw……"
“Everyone knows what happened. I told your friend and he told literally everyone to make sure they knew you were cheated."
You manage to muster a small smile at the thought of Seungkwan doing that. You can imagine him marching round the competition hall and setting everyone straight, not stopping until he'd defended your honour.
“And Sooyon and Minjin,"
“Who?" Your eyebrows knit together in confusion.
“The old ladies who are always here?"
“Mrs Kim and Mrs Park?"
“I don't know their last names." He shrugs.
“Well I didn't know their first names."
“Haven't you known them for a while?”
"My whole life nearly,”
"And you don't know their names?” He laughs incredulously.
"I never asked,” you mumble, "they've always just been Mrs Kim and Mrs Park. I never even asked where their husbands were.”
You huff out a little laugh when Jeonghan throws his head back in laughter but silence descends pretty quickly.
“Why are you here?"
"To say sorry.”
“You said you didn't do anything."
“I may not have ruined your display, but I've done enough. And I'm sorry," he rests his head against the cupboard and looks at you, “really sorry."
“Thank you for telling me what happened," you murmur, trying not to look at him.
“You deserved to know, you deserved an apology."
"I er,” you look around awkwardly, "I'm sorry I was rude that first day. It obviously upset you if it caused all this. I wasn't in a good place, I’m still not to be honest, but my grandma hadn't been gone long and then suddenly this shop was mine, it's no excuse…..”
"_____,” he stops you with a hand on your knee, "you really don't need to say all this. I was childish, it shouldn't take one person being rude for like ten minutes for me to wage all out war,"
You can't help but smile at the way he says it.
“Since we're being honest. I think I was just pissed because I spotted you on the street and had every intention of coming in here and asking you out."
“What?!" You gasp, making him smile.
“I don't really put myself out there much. I know with you I acted like an arrogant bastard but in reality, I'm shit with stuff like that. I have my friends and I keep myself to myself. My last relationship ended pretty badly and I've never been good at asking people out or approaching them. I saw you," he smiles at the memory and you finally turn to look at him properly, “and I thought you've got this Jeonghan she seems sweet, just do it. And then you were mean and I reacted like a five year old."
“What a mess," you groan.
“Does it help to know that the evil florist of Busan has been handed a lifetime ban?"
“Not really. It might do in a few days, but not right now."
He just nods.
You both just look forward, clearly both a little shocked at what's just unfolded but neither of you make any attempts to move.
"You're wrong you know.”
"What?”
"You're wrong. I didn't know your parents but there's no way you could be a disappointment to anyone."
You purse your lips, trying to not cry again.
“It was silly, thinking that it would bring me closer to them. I just got so fixated on it. It was like it justified losing them in a weird way, I don't know, it's stupid,"
"It's not,” he reaches for your hand absentmindedly, not even realising how much the simple action makes your heart leap in its cage, "I know you said you didn't want my pity. And it's not pity,” he pauses for a moment to get the words right, "it's more…….admiration I think, I don't know how you function. My mom still calls me each morning to make sure I'm awake after my alarm. You're stronger than you know just for getting up each day and carrying on.”
"I think,” why are you telling him this? And why does it feel so right to tell him? "I think I'm lonely. Doing the competition made me feel like they were with me. Seungkwan moved home and his girlfriend is lovely and everything but I can't keep being their third wheel. It made me feel like I still had someone, to be doing the same thing they'd done," you sniffle.
“I could be someone to you?" He says softly.
"You?” You turn to him wide eyed though you don't drop his hand.
"I know a lot of shit has happened and I could've probably asked in a cooler way….but…..I could take you out? Or we could stay in? Or we could just sit here?”
"Jeonghan.” You stop his rambling, still not dropping his hand.
“Yes?"
“You might need to bear with me and I'm definitely not forgiving you for how mean you were,"
“Well I'm not forgiving you for the comment about my head being like the Queen of Hearts," he chimes in, both of you giggling.
“But, I think I'd like that? I-If you could be someone to me I mean," you stutter awkwardly.
“I promise I'm not as big a dickhead as you think I am. I'm actually quite boring, my idea of a fun day out is going to the Lego store and then a pizza at home."
The way he witters on is so fucking cute, the complete opposite of the ass hole who told you your flower arrangements were shit.
“That sounds like quite a fun date to be honest," you smile a little when he realises what you've said.
“A date?!" His eyes snap to yours.
“Was that not what you meant?"
“It was! It totally was! I mean," he coughs, trying to play it cool, “I’d be down for that." He shrugs.
He keeps holding your hand but now it feels like you're holding each other's hands. Like you're starting something new. Together.
“It's lucky I missed yesterday’s prep day, I'd have probably shoe horned some lavender into the rose bushes just to annoy you."
“You couldn’t miss a wedding." You giggle but that's cut off pretty quickly when you realise what the fuck you've just said.
“I-I…"
“How did you know about the wedding?" He smirks, turning to face you a little more.
“I heard one of your staff mention it," you dismiss him.
“None of them knew where I was."
Fucking hell.
“I," you sigh, knowing you need to tell him, “I might lurk on your instagram. Sometimes. Occasionally."
“Hm," he hums, trying and failing miserably to hide his smug grin, “I don't see your name or anything that looks like you in the people who've viewed my story."
“You don't know my username."
“I do. I lurk on yours too. Not that you ever update it, seriously twice a year is fucking ridiculous _____."
"I don't have anything to put up!”
"Never heard of a selfie?” He exasperates, "in fact," he frowns, “don't do that. I don't need people sliding into your DMs. Wait." He frowns at you, “I haven't uploaded my wedding dump yet, it was just a quick story. I didn't see your username," he presses again.
Oh well this is fucking embarrassing.
“I didn't view them. It was….. it was my cat."
“Your cat?" He suppresses a laugh.
“Well my cat’s Instagram page." You roll your eyes.
"You're Tabitha?”
"No I'm _____.”
"Don't get smart with me. You're Tabitha the tabby cat? I wondered why a fucking random cat Instagram page was looking at all of my stories.”
"It was not all of them.” You scoff.
"Oh it's every single one.”
He's so fucking smug but fuck does that smugness make him even hotter. How annoying.
"You looked nice in your suit.”
"What? Didn't quite catch that."
"I said you looked nice in your suit.” You bark and look away from him.
“You looked really pretty on your birthday."
“What?" You frown.
“That was the last photo you put up, you looked really pretty."
“Thank you," you whisper, your cheeks beet red and yet something takes over you.
Your mind is swirling with emotions. You're embarrassed, you're hurt, you're mourning and yet the man you've been crushing on begrudgingly for years has asked you out. And just like that it all gets too much and comes to a crescendo which causes something completely out of the ordinary for you.
“Hey Jeonghan?"
“Yeah?" He looks at you straight away and you don't think twice, your lips touch his and it's like everything slots into place, at least in this moment it does anyway.
You'll deal with any regrets and everything else you're feeling tomorrow. Right now you need to feel wanted, you need comfort and from the way he's kissing you back straight away and pulling you onto his lap, he's more than willing to give it to you.
You angle your head so you can deepen the kiss even more, his hands with a tight grip on your waist as your arms wrap around his neck. Both of you throwing caution to the wind, the drama of the day and the chaos of the past couple of years only making you more needy for each other.
It's only when you grind down on him and both of you gasp at the feeling that the kiss deepens even more. His tongue roams your mouth as you grip his hair, making sure he's not moving anywhere and keeping him exactly where you need him.
Your hips start moving of their own accord, you can feel him hard beneath you and yes, the thought of him technically made you cum last night but fuck does he feel good underneath you.
But it's when he moves you and makes you grind more on him that some semblance of sense switches on in your brain.
“Wait," you sigh, though your hips keep moving a little and you keep giving his lips little kisses like you can't bear to be away from him, “we should stop."
“Why?” He kisses your neck, his fingers dimpling your skin under your sweater from the grip he has on you, "haven't we wasted enough time?”
"I’m not in the,” you pull his hair to bring his lips back to yours and kiss him one more time, "right frame of mind to have sex.”
"I get that,” he smiles up at you, your kissing pausing so you can gaze at each other, "but what about some good old dry humping?”
"Like a horny teenager?”
"You're already humping me.” He deadpans.
He's got you there.
"Look, we can stop this. Or you can hump me until we both cum. It's up to you,"
“Fuck it.”
Your lips claim his again, your hips grinding down onto him. Thank fuck you'd changed into leggings before you came back to the shop.
"Wait,” he pulls himself away from you like the annoying man you know him to be. "I can't feel shit.”
"I can,” you go to kiss him again.
"Hey! That's not fair! Let me undo my jeans.”
"That feels like more than dry humping.”
"Are we going to have to fill out some sort of evaluation sheet every time we do something?”
"No,” you smile sarcastically at him, “I'm just saying it feels like more,"
“I promise I'll keep it in my pants. And it'll feel better for you!"
This is ridiculous.
“Undo them then." You roll your eyes.
“Well kneel up then, I can't move with you sitting on me, can I?"
“You're not very romantic." You glare down at him as you raise yourself up enough for him to undo his jeans and reveal the huge tent in his underwear as he pulls his jeans just below his ass.
“The romance can start tomorrow. I think we're just in the getting our horny frustration stage right now."
“Thank you for that evaluation," you smirk using his own words against him. "Ready?”
"Absolutely,” he grabs your hips and slams you down on his clothed dick.
"Fuck,”
"See I can have some good ideas of my own,” he chuckles before his tongue bullies its way into your mouth and your hips rush to start their grinding again.
It's sloppy, it's not sexy or romantic, it's just what you both need. You need to feel something and feel something together to make sure everything that's happened today isn't some sort of dream, or maybe nightmare.
But none your nightmares ever end in you feeling as fucking incredible as you do now. As your clit, even through three layers of cotton, gets just enough friction it needs against his hard length all you can do is keep moving your manic hips.
His hands grip your ass, your moan into his mouth only making him sink his fingers harder into your skin as Jeonghan starts to guide your movements a little more. He pushes you down harder every time you grind forward, his soft lips moving to leave wet kisses all over your neck whilst you let out little moans and lose yourself in the feeling of pleasure. Every niggling thought you had that was helping to tear you down is gone because of the way he holds you, the way he's showing you that he wants this as much as you do.
Your panties are ruined, you feel the wet friction every time you grind and one quick glance down where your bodies meet shows that Jeonghan isn't fairing much better than you. A huge wet patch has already formed on his underwear, his hooded eyes peering up at you so he can see why you've felt the need to remove his lips from your body.
“I've wanted this for long _____, don't make me stop now,"
“I won't," you murmur before you take his lips again, your tongues dancing just how they had done earlier.
A couple more thrusts with Jeonghan’s perfect hands gripping your ass so tight you're certain there'll be bruises, and you come undone on top of him. In your pants like some horny teenager at their first party. Your hips don't stop, if anything they speed up when you feel his body pause for a second and swallow the moan he releases into your mouth as he cums moments after you.
His hands loosen on your ass but you don't stop moving until you're both utterly breathless and both of you are hot, sticky in some places, messes.
“Still think,” he kisses you one last time before he rests his forehead against yours, "I'm over compensating for something?”
"You're so annoying,”
"You just used my big dick to get yourself off, I think I'm owed an apology.”
"I'm sorry I said your floral display was overly tacky because you had a tiny dick.”
"That feels more like an insult than an apology,”
"Take it or leave it,” you shrug.
“I'll take whatever you give me," he smiles, his arms wrapping around you and your head coming to rest on his shoulder, like he's shielding you from the world.
“_____?"
You hum, enjoying the way he's rubbing your back and basking in the afterglow of your orgasm.
“Do you want to grab dinner tomorrow night? L-like a date?"
You smile against him, your heart filling with a warm tingly feeling that you thought you'd never feel again in this lifetime.
"I'd really like that,”
"Great.”
A gentle silence overtakes you.
"And _____?”
"Yeah?”
"You're not alone anymore.”
One Year Later
"I don't see why we couldn't go too,”
"Because, Seungkwan, she needed to do it on her own. And she didn't need you two fussing,” Mrs Park gives Seungkwan and Mrs Kim a very pointed look.
“How dare you! I've never fussed!"
“You've been fussing over that girl since she was seven. She wants to do it on her own."
“Do you think he'll win this year?"
“I hope not." Mrs Kim mutters as she sips her tea.
“If he does, he's won it fair and square. We can't begrudge him that."
“We can." Seungkwan murmurs.
“I thought you liked him?"
“I do! It's just, I want her to do this. This year feels different."
Seungkwan isn't wrong, this year does feel different. And not just because they're currently waiting for you in his new café that’s just next door to your shop. But this whole past year has felt like you've been healing.
Jeonghan never rushed you, he never shouted at you when you suddenly didn't respond to messages because you were having a bad day, he was just there. Whenever you needed him and however you needed him.
He wasn't lying when he said he could be someone to you, or maybe he was. Because he wasn't just something, he was everything to you. He made you feel like you were everything.
You no longer doubted everything or felt like you needed to prove anything to anyone. You were content, your business was going well, you spent more time actually smiling than trying to force a smile and you didn't have that sinking feeling when you woke up every morning.
A couple of months ago the entry forms arrived for Korea's Top Florist and you binned them. You didn't want anything to do with it. But your sneaky boyfriend wasn't going to let that slide. He filled the forms in, one for each of you, and then took the ear full that was due to him when you found out.
Thinking about doing the competition again felt like going back to that old you, the one who felt like her world was closing in on her. But after what felt like a week of his constant trying to talk about it, you finally listened to his reasoning.
He said you needed to do it. Not for him. Not for your parents. Not even for your grandmother. But for you. You needed to close the door on that part of your life, it didn't even matter if you didn't win. You'd never shown your entries without something happening, whether it be him stealing your ideas or some evil florist from Busan, you'd never had a clean slate to show your work.
Jeonghan made sure you knew he wasn't going to go easy on you. But he did agree that this year's entry would be entirely his own. No helpers, no stealing ideas from you or his mom. Just you versus him. And obviously every other florist in Korea.
You'd spent a month planning and unlike the past three entries, you didn't have that frenzied feeling when you were working on it. In the past you'd have a tight chest, constantly telling yourself that if you failed this year, you'd failed them. You'd failed your family.
But now when you looked at your design, you enjoyed it. You looked forward to the quiet moments in the shop when you could rush to your office to finish the illustrations of your initial designs.
The poor supplier at the flower market no longer dreaded seeing your number flash up on his phone because you didn't have that constant urge to check everything was ok with your order. You knew what you were doing and more importantly, you were happy with what you were doing.
“They're coming!!”
Nari, Seungkwan’s fiancé, rushes through the café doors making Mrs Park dribble her tea down her chin.
“Nari, please, this isn't a circus. There's no need to hurl yourself around the place like a hooligan."
“Sorry Mrs Park," she tries to suppress a grin as Mrs Kim pulls a funny face at her friend.
"Now everyone stay calm.” Mrs Park sits in her seat patiently, looking at the door.
If they were hoping to look natural, they're failing miserably. All four of them watch the door eagerly, waiting for you and Jeonghan to come and tell them what's happened.
You open the door, you and Jeonghan looking very solemn as you walk into the café and you see how their faces drop, clearly hoping you'd bounce happily through the door and tell them that you've been declared the best florist Korea has ever known.
"Hi,” you say softly, Jeonghan holding your hand and looking at the ground.
"Well!” Seungkwan shouts, making you all jump, "what happened?!”
You eyes flit around the room, the two old ladies who love you like you're their own, your best friend and his fiancé who have been there for you in your darkest days and then you turn to your left, and see the man you love with nothing but adoration in his eyes and a gentle smile on his lips.
"I won.” You say quietly, like saying it out loud might wake you up and reveal it was all a dream.
"You?” Seungkwan looks between the two of you, looking like he's going to lunge over the counter, "you won?! You did it?! You really did it?!”
"I did,” you grin, a couple of happy tears making your cheeks glisten as they all descend on you.
"I knew you could do it!!” Seungkwan does throw himself over the counter, much to Mrs Park’s horror and launches himself at you. "I always knew you were the best florist."
“Thanks," Jeonghan scoffs.
Seungkwan doesn't answer, he's too busy squeezing you so hard you might burst.
“Move," Nari pushes him off, “it's our turn."
Her and Mrs Kim pull you into a bone crushing hug as you hear Jeonghan and Seungkwan say something about getting the champagne they'd bought because they knew you'd win.
“Imagine," Nari pulls back, her and Mrs Kim finally releasing you, “I can say that my wedding flowers have been designed by the top florist in Korea." She says proudly.
"Cake! Nari come on, let's raid the cake counter.”
"I don't think Seungkwan will be too pleased,”
"Who cares what he thinks! Honestly don't let him think he has a choice in anything! That's how all the best marriages work.”
"Good to know,” Nari giggles as Mrs Kim drags her off to commit a theft.
You watch happily as they rush off, the distant sounds of Jeonghan telling Seungkwan all the gossip from the competition as you finally feel like you can take a breath. Probably the deepest breath you've ever taken because for the first time in forever, you feel like you're exactly where you should be, with the people you should be with.
"_____,” Mrs Park smiles at you as she finally makes her way over to you. "You look happy.”
She takes your hands in hers and you take a moment to think about it.
"I am,” you smile, "I really am.”
"I know I'm just some grumpy old lady, but just know," she takes a deep breath, “I'm proud of you.”
"Thank you,” you whisper, a little taken aback by the usually stern old lady.
"And,” she pauses, "they'd all be so proud of you.”
You hum, trying to fight back tears.
"But they wouldn't be proud because you've won. They'd be proud that you did it for you. That you didn't give up. You deserve everything this world has to offer _____,” she shakes your hands, making you smile, "don't ever think you need to prove anything to anyone. Being you is enough. It always has been.”
She kisses your forehead, lingering for a few seconds and in those few seconds it's like you're four again and your mom is trying to stop your tears after you've grazed your knee. Your dad is trying to get you back to sleep after a monster tried to catch you in a nightmare. And your grandmother is there, like she was every time you wobbled in life, telling you to be brave.
Mrs Park pulls back, giving your hands one last squeeze before she rushes off to see what trouble Mrs Kim is getting up to.
You stare at them all as they set one of the tables, champagne bottles and glasses clanging and cakes appearing from all directions, much to Seungkwan's horror.
They'd all been here, well three of them anyway, but along the way Nari and Jeonghan had become permanent fixtures in your life too. They'd never left you, even when you lost yourself.
You're lucky in some respects, you found a family, you found two women who would do anything for you even though you're not their own flesh and blood. You found Seungkwan in school. You found Jeonghan eventually.
But you carry what you've lost with you every day too, and somehow that doesn't weigh as heavily on you anymore. Now they're comfort, they're happy memories on cold nights when you and Jeonghan tell each other your secrets.
You lost a lot in life. But you found so much more.
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fun idea!! either of the groups u write (whichever u like better!!) with an s/o like Nikki from that new movie “obsession”. because that’s not even like a silly “hehe ilysm” that’s like…they’re attached to you and doesn’t know what to do with themselves when ur not there
Warnings:Heavy angst, emotional abuse, codependency, obsessive behavior, intense arguments, graphic depictions of mental deterioration, self-harm, suicide (detailed emotional aftermath), depression, toxic relationship dynamics. Reader discretion is strongly advised. This is a work of fiction exploring unhealthy attachment; it is not romanticizing these issues.
🎧s : "Liability" by Lorde, "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus , "Hurt" by Johnny Cash , "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron
The apartment smelled like stale takeout and her perfume cloying vanilla that clung to everything, even his clothes after he’d left hours ago.
Jungkook stood in the doorway, keys still in hand, his shoulders heavy from another grueling rehearsal. The lights were dimmed low, just how she liked it when she waited for him. And she was waiting. Always waiting.
She sat on the edge of the couch, knees drawn to her chest, eyes wide and unblinking as they fixed on him. Her hair was messy, like she’d run her fingers through it a thousand times. The moment he stepped inside, she was on her feet, crossing the room in hurried steps that bordered on frantic.
“Jungkook-ah,” she breathed, voice cracking with relief as her arms wrapped around his waist, face burying into his chest. Her grip was too tight, fingers digging into the fabric of his hoodie like she was afraid he’d vanish.
“You’re late. You said you’d be back by nine. I called you six times. Why didn’t you pick up? I thought something happened. I thought you left me.”
He sighed, patting her back awkwardly.
“Baby, I was in the studio. Phone was on silent. I told you this morning.”
“You always say that,” she whispered, not letting go.
Her body trembled against his.
“What if you forget about me? What if one day you don’t come back?”
This was their normal now. But tonight, the exhaustion cracked something in him.
The fight started small, like they always did.
“You’re smothering me,” Jungkook muttered as he tried to peel her arms off so he could take off his shoes.
“I love you, but I need space sometimes. Just… breathe.”
She recoiled like he’d slapped her. Her eyes filled with tears instantly, that glassy, shattered look that used to break his heart but now exhausted him.
“Space? You want space from me? After everything? I gave up my friends, my plans, my life for you, Jungkook. I sit here every day waiting because without you, I don’t know who I am anymore.”
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration boiling.
“That’s the problem! You don’t know who you are without me. This isn’t healthy. You text me every hour, show up at the company sometimes unannounced, cry if I hang out with the guys for one night. I can’t live like this.”
Her breathing hitched, turning into short, panicked gasps.
“You don’t love me anymore, do you? That’s what this is. You’re tired of me. Just say it.”
“Stop putting words in my mouth!” His voice rose, sharper than he intended. The argument escalated quickly voices overlapping, accusations flying. She screamed about how he changed her, how he made her this way. He yelled back about boundaries, about feeling trapped in her neediness.It got ugly. She threw a pillow, then a glass that shattered against the wall.
Jungkook dodged, heart pounding.
“When did you become like this?”
he shouted, the words ripping out of him raw and desperate.
“You weren’t like this when we met. God, what happened to you?”
The room went silent except for her ragged breathing. Her face crumpled, but something darker flickered behind the tears.
Flashback
They met two years ago at a small café near the HYBE building. Jungkook was exhausted from promotions, hiding under a cap and mask, nursing an iced Americano. She was there alone, sketching in a notebook, earbuds in.
When she accidentally bumped into him while getting a refill, her coffee spilled on his sleeve.Instead of freaking out, she laughed a bright, genuine sound that cut through his fatigue.
“I’m so sorry! Here, let me buy you another one. Or a new shirt if it’s ruined.”
He pulled down his mask, expecting recognition, but she just tilted her head.
“You look familiar… Wait, aren’t you that guy from BTS? Jungkook, right? Cool. I like your music, but I’m more of a indie rock fan myself.”
No screaming, no photos. Just easy conversation. She was vibrant, independent worked as a freelance illustrator, had a circle of artsy friends, traveled alone sometimes.
Her eyes sparkled with quiet confidence. They exchanged numbers as friends first. Dates followed slowly. She respected his schedule, sent memes instead of constant check-ins, teased him about his bunny smile. When they made it official, she whispered against his lips, “I like you because you’re you, not the idol. Don’t ever feel like you have to perform for me.”
Jungkook fell hard. She was his escape the one person who saw the man behind the stage lights. Lazy nights watching anime, her head on his chest, talking about dreams. She pushed him to rest, cooked simple meals, and gave him space when he needed to create.
But cracks appeared after a few months.
A scandal rumor about him and a female staffer (completely false) sent her spiraling the first time. She called crying, asking if it was true, if he still wanted her. He reassured her for hours. Then it worsened. She started canceling plans with friends to be available for him. “They don’t get it like you do,” she’d say.
Her sketches became mostly portraits of him. She’d wait outside the dorm or studio, eyes lighting up like he was oxygen.Jungkook noticed but dismissed it as love.
“She’s just passionate,” he told himself.
When she said, “I don’t feel right when you’re not here,” he held her tighter, whispering promises. The change was gradual, insidious. She stopped drawing for herself. Her phone background was always him. She’d panic if he didn’t reply within minutes.
“I feel empty,” she confessed one night, clinging to him after he returned from a trip.
“Like I only exist when you’re looking at me.”
He tried talking about it. Therapy suggestions. Space. But every attempt made her more desperate, more attached.
The girl who once teased him became the shadow who mirrored his every move, terrified of abandonment.
Back to Present
The words hung in the air, “When did you become like this?”
She laughed bitterly, tears streaming.
“You did this to me, Jungkook. You made me love you so much that there’s nothing left of me. Every time you smiled at me, every promise, every night you held me… I stopped being her. The girl you fell for died because she wasn’t enough. Now I’m just this. Yours. Completely.”
He stepped closer, regret flooding him.
“I never wanted this. I loved you the real you. Independent, funny, free. We can fix this. Please, let’s get help.”
But she was shaking her head, backing away. The fight reignited, uglier. She accused him of cheating with every female idol, of using her as a convenience. He defended himself, voice hoarse, pointing out how she tracked his location, how she’d deleted messages from his friends.
“You’re destroying us!”
he yelled.
“No, you destroyed me first!”
She grabbed a shard from the broken glass on the floor, holding it to her wrist. Her eyes were wild, that obsessive glint mixed with profound despair , like possession fracturing under reality.
“If I can’t have you, if you don’t want this version of me… then what’s the point? I can’t go back. I don’t know how.”
Jungkook froze, horror dawning.
“Put it down. Baby, please. I love you. We’ll work through it. Don’t—”
But the pain was too deep. In that moment, her attachment consumed everything. She couldn’t envision a world where he left, where she had to face the emptiness she’d built around him. The real her had been eroded by the obsession she couldn’t control anymore.
She slashed.
Once.
Twice.
Deep.
Blood flowed fast.
Jungkook lunged, screaming her name, trying to stop the bleeding with his hoodie, dialing emergency services with shaking hands. Her eyes met his as she faded—whispering, “I’m sorry… I just wanted to be enough for you. Don’t forget me.”
The ambulance came.
Too late.
Jungkook sat in the hospital hallway, blood on his hands her blood staring at the white walls. The doctors said the words, but they didn’t register.
She was gone. His vibrant, independent girl had transformed into someone so consumed by love for him that she couldn’t survive without it. And he blamed himself.
Days blurred. He canceled schedules. The members hovered, worried, but he barely spoke. At night, he replayed memories , her laugh at the café, the way she’d poke his cheek ,the early days when love felt light.
Now the apartment was silent. Her sketches hundreds of him stared back. Her perfume lingered. He’d find strands of her hair on the pillow, and the emptiness hit like a wrecking ball.
“I loved you,” he whispered to the void one night, curled on the floor where she fell.
“So much. I should’ve fought harder to save the you before the obsession. Before I asked when you became like this… I should’ve seen it happening.”
Depression wrapped around him like chains. He performed on autopilot, smile empty. Fans noticed the light gone from his eyes.
In interviews, he’d trail off, thinking of her final whisper.
He visited her grave often, leaving sketches he tried to draw of her the real her.
“Come back,” he’d murmur, though he knew it was impossible. The love that once saved him now haunted him.
He didn’t know how to exist in a world where her attachment had ended in such finality.
Some nights, he’d clutch one of her hoodies, inhaling the fading vanilla, and cry until dawn. The man who had the world at his feet was broken by the girl who only wanted him.
In the end, obsession didn’t just take her. It took pieces of him too the parts that believed love could be whole without consuming everything.
HIII!!! I HAD THIS DELICIOUS IDEA WHEN I SAW THE VIRAL TWEET AGAIN YESTERDAY!!!!🤭🤭
shy!Dokyeom getting his dk seoked until he kyeoms😁
Shy! Dokyeom x reader
Synopsis: Shy! Dokyeom greets you with a hug and a kiss when he gets home. You greet him by getting onto your knees.
Warnings: mdni, 18+, bj, shy! dokyeom, you make him flustered, and his brain short-circuits, gagging, playing with his balls a little, this is a drabble
Dokyeom doesn't know how it ended up like this, okay?
One moment, he's coming home to you, greeting you with a loving hug and kiss, eagerly telling you about his day - and the next, you're in between his legs, your knees digging into the rug beneath you as you slurp his cock like it was the only thing you were made to do.
Your glossy lips wrap sinfully around his thick girth, your tongue swirling his fat tip, collecting all his precum, and you’re moaning wantonly from his taste. You have Seokmin whimpering, his head falling back and exposing his pretty throat as you focus just on his bulbous tip while your hand pumps his shaft, milking more of his precum like it's candy.
Dk's mind blanks, the muscles in his thighs quivering as you do your best to make him lose his mind. He gasps for air when you let go of his tip with a wet 'plop', and he watches through heavy-lidded eyes as you lick your spit and cum coated lips with a grin. "Why'd you stop?"
He blinks. Isn't he supposed to ask you that?
He blinks again.
Your hand squeezes his length, and his balls tense. "Keep telling me about your day, I'm listening." You end your sentence by giving the mushroom-shaped tip of his cock a sweet kiss, and Dokyeom thinks he might die.
"M-my day?" His voice cracks, and you hum with a nod, already sinking your mouth back onto his cock and sucking him down to your throat. His tip prods the back of your throat, and his eyes roll back as you moan around his length.
His cock makes your jaw ache deliciously. He fills your mouth and reaches down your throat so that you have to breathe through your nose or you'll choke. And fuck, it makes you so wet. Your thighs clench together in need, and your nails dig into his thick thighs as you push yourself to the limit, taking him all the way down till your bottom lip brushes his balls.
And when it does, Dokyeom cries out. His large hand pushes the back of your head, keeping you down, and triggering your gag reflex as his cock twitches heavily against your throat. The room echoes with your gags and Dokyeom's wrecked groans, causing a new wave of your sweet slick to pool inside your panties.
When Seokmin pulls you off his cock so you can breathe, a string of saliva connects from his cock to your lips, and it's the hottest thing Dokyeom has ever seen. You smirk, and his fingers curl in your hair as he shoves you back down onto his cock greedily.
He can't think about anything but how good your mouth feels, sucking on his cock so fervently. His mouth hangs stupidly, praise falling from his lips as he drags your head up n' down on his cock. You slobber, drooling heavily, sucking his cock messily until his cock is jerking in sensitivity. It's your only sign that he's close, and it has you doubling your efforts.
Your hand comes up to his cum-filled balls, rolling them around with your fingers as you slurp his cock all the way down again. And when your nose presses against his pelvis, your throat gagging around his shaft, he cums.
He cries out your name, his hips bucking up sloppily as he holds your head still by your hair. He fucks your mouth through his orgasm, his cock shooting rope after rope of his hot, gooey seed until he's overstimulated and shuddering in pleasure.
When his tender cock slips from your mouth, you both pant to catch your breath. His thighs quiver, and he can't help but pull you onto his lap. He never gets to finish telling you about his day; instead, he pulls you into a kiss, eager to return the favor.
-
A/N: I hope my version of shy! dokyeom is good! I love him lmao
As always, comments are encouraging for me, but any interactions are greatly appreciated!
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