goddamn happy

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

the author’s thinly veiled nothing #notwriting #straightupnotwritingit

the worst writing crime you can ever commit in my opinion is watering down the dirty talk because you’re self-conscious that it sounds like it’s from a bad porno…..i cannot stress this enough……leave it alone. the moment you tell yourself he would not fucking say that you’re doomed. people will say almost anything if their dick is hard enough

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

happy pride month dykes i love you dykes

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars