Soldier

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

I have GOT to stop spending $30

Do not blame me for who I am. The doctor prescribed me 20 mL of #femtanyl twice a day.

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

when it comes to figuring out who you are and what you have, how good or bad you feel like you are isn't exactly relevant. it's okay to try out certain labels, explore certain conditions. none of this is a question of valor and worth. if it's helpful, then it's helpful. if you want to use it, then use it. even if you end up being wrong, that's a normal part of life and figuring yourself out. being wrong about this isn't a crime, you're going to be okay.