wake the fuck up samurai

Getting a tender good night kiss on your forehead and a whispered 'thank you' after he's bent you in half, bred, and overstimulated you

dry humping in his lap when he reaches around your ass and sinks the tip of his finger inside of you. he groans under his breath in disbelief over how wet you are, the way you gasp and whine and try to fuck yourself on the tease of penetration. he plunges in deep, finger buried in your cunt to the last knuckle as you tremble, desperately slipping and sliding up and down the ridges of his cock, face buried in the crook of his neck as you cum with a whimper.

if someone says its pronouns are it/its, remember that means its pronouns are it/its!! respect your local it/its user today and get its pronouns right!!

Eric Andre is Jewish btw. I feel like a lot of people assume he isn't bc of racism or bc they assume every word out of his mouth is sarcastic but he is Jewish and has talked about it.

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again