Title Schitle

not allowed to smoke with people anymore because every time i exhale its deathblight

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

I hate when I go to copy a picture and it doesn’t paste. Do not disobey me.

It's literally crazy luck that I've only ever come across nails ever since I got my hands on my awesome hammer

when i was a kid i found a pen that had a woman on it that if you turned it upside down her clothes would come off. i hid it in my room and in brave moments i would flip it over and over and over. one day i got so ashamed that i brought it to a field and buried it

Where is it buried

Little Miss Ovipositor would like to make a suggestion for Easter!

I’m gonna kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) someone else (remembers murder is bad) on accident (realizes it’s not an accident if I say I’m gonna do it) and I know because I’m from the future (remembers lying is bad) no I’m not (feels guilty) I’m so so sorry (remembers actions speak louder than words) (does a backflip)

Hello my name is Dr hotdog. And I'm a woman.

A car crash you say? The father died on the scene? This is tragic... and yet, I cannot operate on this boy. You see... I don't want to.