we're a festival of conviviality

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

this morning i got a spam call that just played clown waiting music for a few seconds and then hung up on me. which really pissed me off a lot

Pissing off elves by claiming i fought in wars their empire waged 1000's of years ago when im clearly a regular human

Kinda wild how most people generally recognize that the "too sick to go to school, too sick to watch tv/play games" mindset our parents had was bullshit but still impose essentially the exact same rules on disabled adults and scrutinize them for enjoying low-energy hobbies while being too fatigued or in pain to work a full time job (or any job at all)

i love a duo that's just one brilliant, insane freak of a person and then just a guy who's having the worst time of his life.

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while

THERE IS A BOAT BY IVAN AIVAZOVSKY!!

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

leaving a bad review of The Art of War on Amazon so my enemies don't buy it

i like when you can tell a screenwriter thinks that being good at computers is all about how fast you type. you need to out-computer your enemies with your superior wpm. whoever types the fastest is the most elite hacker in the cyberspace. its all up to you, johnny quickfingers. we're counting on you.

just remembered the piss