elly

turncoat

1964 2022

I also have to say this documentary did change my narrative surrounding John in so many areas. But mostly, I'm so surprised by one particular bit where someone from the crew - can't remember who- tells Paul:

John whenever he and Paul spoke in the early 70s

“Mimi is right about John (ref). He’s an extremely tender person, or rather he’s capable of tenderness. This tough, bitter side he has is a kind of protection. I feel sad for him because a lot of people seem to get satisfaction out of hurting him. Im only really sorry that with all his health and all his fame, he doesn’t appear to be happy. One thing I really wish for him is happiness.”

“John can be very tender. I know he has this reputation for being cynical and sharp, but I know him better. I know that beneath all that, he can be very warm. He asks how I am, how my health is, how the weather’s like…Then we’ll start to talk about the old days. The last time he was on, we started talking about his schooldays and the time he came home on the last day of term with his school report. He just rode up to the kitchen window on his bike, threw the report in and shouted, ‘im off out.’ I knew it must be a bad report, so I chased after him, shouting, ‘You come back here this minute, John Lennon,’ but he was off. We had a good laugh about that over the phone. I think, in a way, he’s a little bit lonely…”

“Often I would think of John, and what a pity it was that we’d argued so publicly and so viciously at times. At the time of writing this song, in early 1971, he’d called the McCartney album ‘rubbish’ in Rolling Stone magazine. It was a really difficult time. I just felt sad about the breakdown in our friendship, and this song kind of came flowing out. ‘Dear friend, what’s the time? / Is this really the borderline?’ Are we splitting up? Is this ‘you go your way; I’ll go mine’? […] John would say things like, ‘It was rubbish. The Beatles were crap.’ Also, ‘I don’t believe in The Beatles, I don’t believe in Jesus, I don’t believe in God.’ Those were quite hurtful barbs to be flinging around, and I was the person they were being flung at, and it hurt. So, I’m having to read all this stuff, and on the one hand I’m thinking, ‘Oh fuck off, you fucking idiot,’ but on the other hand I’m thinking, ‘Why would you say that? Are you annoyed at me or are you jealous or what?’ And thinking back fifty years later, I still wonder how he must have felt. He’d gone through a lot. His dad disappeared, and then he lost his Uncle George, who was a father figure; his mother; Stuart Sutcliffe; Brian Epstein, another father figure; and now his band. But John had all of those emotions wrapped up in a ball of Lennon. That’s who he was. That was the fascination. I tried. I was sort of answering him here, asking, ‘Does it need to be this hurtful?’ I think this is a good line: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ – meaning, ‘Why is this argument going on? Is it because you’re afraid of something? Are you afraid of the split-up? Are you afraid of my doing something without you? Are you afraid of the consequences of your actions?’ And the little rhyme, ‘Or is it true?’ Are all these hurtful allegations true? This song came out in that kind of mood. It could have been called ‘What the Fuck, Man?’ but I’m not sure we could have gotten away with that then.”