The spirit is absent and the flesh is too. #imnothing

me burning the candle at both ends: oobh i got plany off wick

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

they accidentally gave me the unheimlich manoeuvre and i choked to death in a distinctly uncanny way

Trust me bro dry humping just elevates the hang-out experience you gotta believe me man

(Seeing a cis straight couple for the first time) I think I’m gonna be sick… What the fuck do you even call this…? Dark Yuri? Unfaggot? Do they have a fucking word for this? (Flashing back to my troubled childhood) Oh my god… This is that Marge and Homer shit isn’t it