say, darling, are we in a daydream?

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

displays my agonies online for free

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife

i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

you should also be able to do this to job listings

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts