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I’ve had this thought in my head for a long while now that, after the Roaring/Final Tragedy, the latter half of chapter seven would feature the characters breaking the game itself and travelling through chapters in order to write a new ending and save Kris (and perhaps Dess by extension).
And after chapter five’s weird route ended with Kris and Noelle breaking the game in another way, I then had the thought… “Well…what if these two Noelles crossed paths?”
Alt text for this comic under the read more:
Page 1
Panel 1 - In a largely empty, completely grayscale-looking approximation of Hometown, a choppy, pixel door outlined in the DEVICE color green appears. Through it, there’s signs of the game’s layer existing outside of the game itself. Three figures look through the door: Susie, Noelle and Ralsei, all in different forms of their dark world selves. Susie has become a full dragon, with horns, wings and a much longer tail. Her eyes glow red from the soul. Ralsei is now fully femme presenting, in a green dress, and with their scarf turned into a pink ribbon. She holds up a magic flame to light their way. Noelle is still in her white robes, but now with small glowing angel wings at her back, and a golden halo resembling an eye with six points. All of them look shocked and confused.
Title: MAKE or BREAK
Panel 3 - In a reverse shot, we see the other side of the door, into the empty grayscale landscape. The area is dotted with red tears in reality where the dark world peeks through, black and red lines in contrast to the boring grayscale town. Two other figures look back at the three that have spotted them: Kris and Noelle on the weird route. Noelle looks darker, bedraggled, her hair tangled and wet. She is in her light world outfit, except for her right arm, which seems permanently stuck with the arm and robed sleeve of her dark world self. Kris scuffles along the ground without really walking, arms hanging limp, their body almost completely dull gray and black. A dimmed soul can be seen through cracks in their chest. They don’t even seem to be an actual person anymore, and are just dragging behind Noelle like a convenient carrying case for the soul. Noelle looks back through the door with equal shock and confusion.
Page 2
Panel 1 - A medium close-up as weird route (WR) Noelle falls to her knees with a FWUMP. She catches herself forward with her hands.
Panel 2 - Side view of WR Noelle as she leans forward, her hair covering much of her face, her body shaking. Behind her, the hollowed out Kris stands silently. “I don’t…don’t understand it!” WR Noelle says.
Panel 3 - Upshot as WR Noelle stares down at her hands, which are veined red from using the soul so much. She’s still shaking. “I’m strong enough!” she says, her face contorted in anger and confusion. “I’ve been strong enough to do the IMPOSSIBLE!”
Panel 4 - Wider shot as she looks back up at the other three from the normal route, who all hover above the ground, looking down at her with pity and horror. WR Kris still slumps beside her. “So how is that…still not enough…to win against YOU?” WR Noelle cries, looking specifically at normal route (NR) Noelle, who whisps away the last snowflakes of a spell. They’ve just finished a fight, and WR Noelle lost.
Panel 5 - Downshot as WR Noelle remains on her hands and knees, glaring up at NR Noelle hovering over her. NR Noelle’s wings and halo can be seen from the back. WR Noelle finishes, “When all YOU did…was stay on track?!”
Page 3
Inset panel of NR Noelle holding up a hand and looking off to the side, as if trying to fish out a good response. “Well…I DID get to be a final boss,” she says. “It seems like…you skipped all that?”
Panel 1 - In comparison between Noelle’s statements, we see an image of what might have happened on the normal route. Dragon Susie faces off against an enormous boss that seems to be the Angel and Noelle combined into one being. It’s difficult to see the entire creature, but it has enormous angel wings, concentric golden rings around the head sporting snowflake-like spikes, shining silver armor, and a mess of feathers and antlers protruding from the head. Susie attacks the boss with bright green fire breath; the same color as her healing magic.
Panel 2 - In contrast, in the weird route, Noelle and Kris traverse the landscape, spotted with tears into the dark world. In both spaces, Lightners and Darkners are left frozen in ice by Noelle’s power. At first Noelle is in her dark world outfit, but as they progress the ability for her to change her appearance breaks, and only one sleeve is left of her robe. The two seem stuck in an endless loop of breaking things and freezing things to get stronger.
Panel 3 - Mid shot of WR Noelle as she searches for a response to this. “But then, that just means…”
Panel 4 - She finds her response and shoots back, “That you still LOST!” She glares back up at her angelic counterpart.
Panel 5 - Inset panel of NR Noelle looking a little confused at the accusation. “...What? Of course I did,” she says.
Panel 6 - “What’s…the other option?” she continues.”That I kept winning, and holding on to that power, and never going anywhere else? Just being STUCK there, forever?” After the final battle, dragon Susie helps a restored Noelle to her feet, tears streaming down her face. Giant feathers drift down around them, showing that the angel form was defeated.
Page 4
Panel 1 - Wide shot as the normal route gang face weird route Noelle and Kris. The landscape is still grayscale, broken and empty; all of the people in it frozen and dead. “...Like you are now?” NR Noelle suggests sadly.
Panel 2 - Mid shot of WR Noelle, with WR Kris still hovering in the background. WR Noelle sneers, clutching her chest and pointing up at her counterpart. “Don’t act so smug! You should KNOW…we were trapped there!”
Panel 3 - Side view of WR Noelle as she clutches the sides of her head, expression angry and desperate. “In that town, in that…story, that LIFE!” she cries. “We had to get out!!”
Panel 4 - Side view of NR Noelle as she looks down at her weird route self with sadness. She responds, “Of course I understand. I’m you.”
Panel 5 - Full shot of normal route Susie, Noelle and Ralsei, all looking hurt and pitying as they hover over the scene. Noelle closes her eyes and clutches her hands to her chest, genuinely distressed. “I’m just…I’m so, so sorry, that…that thing, made you believe…”
Panel 6 - Closeup on just Noelle as she looks on with pity. She finishes, “...that the only way out was to hurt yourself.”
Panel 7 - Extreme close up on WR Noelle as she looks off to the side, not wanting to meet NR Noelle’s gaze. She does not want to accept there may have been other options. “No, I…I had to…” she says.
Page 5
Panel 1 - Full shot of Noelle and Susie looking on with sadness. Susie speaks up, flaring her wings up, and pulling her hands to her chest. “Don’t you get it?! We STILL got free!” she says, her expression pained at seeing Noelle like this. “I’m going to CHANGE it, for all of us!”
Panel 2 - Side view of Susie as she looks down at WR Noelle, still clutching her chest. Tears prick at the corners of her eye. “You…didn’t have to do that to yourself…and to Kris!...”
Panel 3 - Mid shot on WR Noelle as she screams back, “You don’t even KNOW what Kris did to ME!” Behind her, WR Kris says and does nothing.
Panel 4 - Ralsei speaks up, extending a hand towards the unmoving Kris. “Is that even Kris anymore?” she cries.
Panel 5 - Ralsei still reaches a hand towards WR Kris, but they do not move and react. Whatever person was there seems to be completely gone now.
Panel 6 - Full shot of NR Noelle, Susie and Ralsei still facing down WR Noelle. WR Noelle’s antlers frame the three of them in the foreground. “You broke the boundary so much earlier than we did…” NR Noelle says. “...Did you never figure out…WHAT had changed Kris?”
Panel 7 - “What was giving you that power?” A flashback scene to the weird route in chapter four, where Kris equips the thorn ring back onto Noelle. The shot just focuses on their hands, and the thorn being placed against Noelle’s finger.
Page 6
Panel 1 - Focus on NR Noelle as she looks off to the side, looking disturbed. Her halo eye follows her line of sight. “You know what the worst part about all this is?” she says. “The thing that really makes my fur stand on end?”
Panel 2-3 - A large panel showing both sides of the story: in the top one we see the end of the weird route in chapter five, with Noelle and Kris sinking upside-down into the bottom of the lake. The water is green and dark, except for the light of the soul starting to shine between them. In the bottom one we see the end of the normal route, with a multitude of dark fountains filling the skies around Castle Town. Kris lies injured and bleeding out, their right hand gone, and a dark hole in their chest. A mix between blood and strange, chopping darkness pours out of their wounds; they’re in mortal danger. Above them, Ralsei in their dress tries to keep them stable with her healing magic. Noelle reaches upward with her own powerful magic, and dragon Susie blasts at the world’s barrier with her fire breath. The two sides mirror each other, both breaking through reality.
NR Noelle says, “It’s knowing that the thing that did this to you…and to Kris… And the thing that’s now helping us SAVE Kris… They’re probably the same person.”
Panel 4 - A repeat of panel one, with NR Noelle looking back towards her counterpart. She almost has a wry, knowing smile on her face. “I mean…that’s what WE’D do, right? Try everything, even the messed-up options. See how things break.”
Page 7
Panel 1 - Full shot as WR Noelle slumps further to the side, her expression blank. WR Kris stands silently behind her, while NR Noelle still stands in the foreground. It’s all starting to his WR Noelle; understanding is coming to her.
Panel 2 - Slightly closer in on WR Noelle as she leans to the side. A weary smile creeps across one side of her face as she looks to the side. “I see. That’s how it is,” she says.
Panel 3 - Closer on WR Noelle’s face as she looks back at her counterpart. She’s smiling, but it’s not a happy one…more resigned. “So I’m the broken one, huh?”
Panel 4 - Mid shot of NR Noelle as she looks down, clutching her hands to her chest again, eyes closed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She seems to be genuinely grieving for her other self.
Panel 5 - The grief does not reach WR Noelle, who just looks down at the thorn ring on her right hand with a resigned smile. “Don’t be. I don’t regret it,” she says. “I still got to see things…got to DO things, that you never will.”
Panel 6 - Downshot of NR Noelle and Ralsei. She looks over at Ralsei as they put a hand on her shoulder, and hold their head with their other hand. “Please. Let’s just go. I can’t stand it here. I can’t stand it…I can’t…” she says, looking genuinely distressed.
Panel 7 - “There’s nothing here we can help Kris with.” Ralsei finishes. Meanwhile, WR Kris continues to slump in the air, saying and doing nothing. Whatever Kris was here is long gone.
Panel 8 - Mid shot of Noelle and Susie, as Noelle turns to face Susie. “Yeah. It’s…gettin’ antsy again,” Susie says, clutching her stomach with one hand. They all seem ready to leave.
Page 8
Panel 1 - Wide shot as the normal route trio head back into the green-colored door they entered from, back into the DEVICE layer. WR Noelle watches them turn to leave from the foreground.
Panel 2 - “WAIT! I know…aren’t you going to do it?” WR Noelle calls after them, her expression now more manic.
Panel 3 - Full shot of WR Noelle still on the ground, with Kris slumped behind her. NR Noelle stands in the foreground, just her arm visible. “I know that you can!” WR cries, pointing a hand up at NR Noelle.
Panel 4 - Extreme closeup on NR Noelle’s face. Her eyes look haunted. “...I don’t want to,” she says.
Panel 5 - A repeat of panel 3, with NR Noelle’s arm in the foreground, and WR Noelle on the ground, looking up at her. Her expression is still manic; she wants to get in the last word. “But you HAVE to,” she says. “We always did end up having to delete those glitched pets, right? So turn and face me. I want to SEE you do it.”
Panel 6 - Closer in on WR Noelle as she holds her hands up, her smile twisted, still clinging to that feeling of impossible power. “I want us BOTH to know how it FEELS!”
Panels 7-8 - A closeup of NR Noelle, facing away from the camera. She then turns her head slightly to look back at her weird route self, her expression now colder.
Page 9
Panel 1 - Full shot as Noelle turns back, just in front of the opening they’ve come through. Susie and Ralsei, on the other side of the opening and back into the middle layer, both look back with sadness. WR Noelle has asked for a final word from NR Noelle, and will receive it. “There’s…one more thing. You didn’t lose because I was a final boss, or anything like that,” NR Noelle says.
Panel 2 - Mid shot as NR Noelle turns back to fully face WR Noelle in the foreground. She starts to raise a hand. “You lost because your power came from the thing in Kris.”
Panel 3 - “The one playing this all out,” she continues. “So…what happens to your power when it’s NOT playing?”
The panel shows an extreme closeup on WR Noelle’s face, with a focus on her eyes. All of the challenging smile in her expression is gone, and instead, there’s only a dawning horror. She only now understands what has happened.
Panel 4 - Upshot as NR Noelle stands over her, raising her right hand to her head. Magic starts to gather around the ring at her finger. Noelle is cast largely in shadow, her expression grave. Her full power is now about to be unleashed, and it terrifies both of them. “I’m sorry it never gave you the chance to realize it…but we never needed it,” she says. “We’ve always been strong enough.”
Page 10
Panel 1 - In an extreme close up on Noelle’s hand, she gives a little flick of her finger, dragging magic with it. It’s clear now that she’s wearing the Gilded Rose ring.
Panel 2 - In the DEVICE layer, the weird route file is erased.
Hello! Greetings, grand master of comics... I made a comic of my own, it's not. Very good, but I wanted to say your comics are a part of the reason why I even tried making one for real. They are so cool and they made me want to make something cool as well! So thank you.
And do you have any advice for comic pacing? or anything about your writing process?
Hiii Pigeon!
Omg the title shhdhdhdhhd thank you, genuinely appreciate your kind words, so glad you tried your hand at it! But don’t be too hard on yourself, cause while they’re fun, they’re also hard to make, and honestly knowing you? You probably killed it and did an absolutely phenomenal job <333
And sure always happy to help :D
1- Pacing:
This is a very tricky topic to explain ngl dhhdhdhd, but I’m gonna try my best to explain it in a clear and concise way
Think of pacing as the time it takes for actions or events to happen, this obviously is going to be different each time depending on the comic you’re making, and what you want readers to feel or think as they’re reading, more agressive actions are going to take way less time than more calm and quiet ones
If say, you wanted the reader to linger on a certain panel, you would either want to make that panel the center of the page, or even take one panel and make them into multiple panels, by dividing one action into smaller ones, and show its initial setup, then the steps leading to the main action, while still maintaining it slow, which overall means more panels to show one single big action in smaller parts
Dialogue also affects pacing, if you want a reader to linger on a page, then you need to have their eyes take a bit of a while to reach the dialogue
Here’s two examples on what I said so far:
Panel arrangement also impacts the pacing, and that in turn changes the overall emotional emphasis of the scene
See as follows:
Another thing that can have a big impact on pacing is how you show the flow from action A to action B, actions take time to happen, if a character is shown to immediately perform an action without set up prior to, it’ll feel faster and more aggressive than an action done with initial setup
That brings us back to what I said about whether your actions are aggressive or calm, the aggressive actions are going to take way less time to happen than more calm and collected and intentional actions
See here:
This however brings up a very important point that makes all our lives harder unfortunately, while zero set up for some scenarios can work perfectly, in others it’ll only make the action feel jumpy and weird, like the character went from point A to point B without a single thought to how the character even got there
That’s to say, there’s a need to set them up even if you’re going for an aggressive action, so how can you set up an aggressive action while still maintaining speed and aggression? Easy, the panel sizes! Panel sizes also matter, they can either indicate a slightly less important aspect of an action in calm ones, or in aggressive actions, show the speed of an action
Here’s an example:
But to try and simplify this complex topic, always keep in mind:
1- pacing is not a static thing, it changes depending on factors you’ll have in your comic, whether that be the characters, the environment, or the story itself
2-depending on said factors, decide whether you want people to linger on a page or panel, or have them quickly move on to the next panel/page
2-writing:
Writing to me is way harder than pacing, pacing at least can be played around with and it would still makes sense as long as it’s what you intended
Writing tho? Man
The thing about comics is that the writing is heavily reliant on the dialogue and the actions shown throughout the comic through art alone, unlike actual fic writing, you don’t get to use words to describe actions, you have to show these actions and have the dialogue pick up the rest
And if your dialogue isn’t good then it can easily show ugghvjvj
The best advice I can give about writing a comic, is to actually put everything you have in mind down on paper, then later refine them
Y’know the saying “make it exist first, make it good later” that’s honestly what I do with my own comics
I initially just put everything down, dialogue and art I imagined it with, then later rearrange and add or delete stuff, that’s when I actually start thinking about “pacing”
I personally try to treat the art and dialogue as completely separate things (even if in reality are very interconnected) I make the art look good and move it around based on the initial dialogue I have, then later go on and change the dialogue to make it sound more natural, in character, and make sure it makes sense
This comic? Yeah here are some of the original sketches and dialogue I made for it
See the absolute difference between the og sketch and the final version?
The writing process is messy, and nothing you do will be good the first time, that’s why you should aim to make it exist first, then actually work on making it look or sound better
That’s honestly all I can say about writing the comic out shdhhdh
Hope this helps, if you need any more help with anything comic related I’d love to help where I can, just lemme know <333
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Do you think if shapeshifters are real they would open commission photoshoots like they turn into your oc and take selfies or idk go to the grocery and buy a sandwich, they would be so rich
just a couple of guys ... i had an idea for another dreamtale take !
the thought of dream and nightmare just being Annoyed with each other rather than "kill on sight" is super funny !!! with dream still being Very Serious about his job as a guardian and nightmare just being like "chill out dude nobody gives a fuck about the tree we're fine"
NM ate the apple as a dare and he's super proud of himself for it cause "dude i look awesome now, like some sort of supervillain or something.... do you think i can prank people with this"
and dream, horrified, is just like "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT THATS LIKE THE ONE THING WE'RE NEVER EVER SUPPOSED TO DO EVER"
"it was a dare"
💗🦴💗🦴💗
but yeah i like them a lot actually, they're fucking funny.
dream still tries to act all high and mighty and trains all day for the fight of his life, but then nightmare just hangs out in the mortal realm building bee houses in minecraft
and also i'm sick of seeing hyper-feminized dream designs, so he gets to be a nice & simple buff boy today
Dream, when in front of Nightmare, disapproves his lifestyle, thinking that he should train like him to be a strong guardian instead of some "gamer" among the mortals.
But in secret? He watches all of Nightmare's streams and comments on it a lot (with a pseudonym of course, he has a reputation), and he is really happy that his brother is doing something he loves and makes him happy. But he will never say it.
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In theory it would actually 100% be possible for the Care Bears to wreck Nightmare with a Care Bear Stare because the stare is in essence pure positivity and caring energy concentrated in a beam that only gets more punch the more Care Bears involved, and if it doesn't kill him, they're at least de-gooping him because the Care Bears are no stranger to corruption (see Dark Heart) and by all means be able to make him passive again. So in short, Dream just needs to enlist help from the Care Bears and he theoretically can get his brother back.
I like Care Bears. Not unlock the magic, fuck unlock the magic, they're not CUDDLY ANYMORE.
This is how I discovered I’m good at 90s Care Bears art style. Thank you, users @gayduckwithapencil and @strawberrus0da , now you have Care Bear Blue doing the Akira slide.
Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.
Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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