Having a moment with the feelings shed.

Today was such a bad filler day I was looking forward to it and I crashed so hard and so bad so quickly into it I want to crawl under a rock.

It’s been so so long since I’ve genuinely felt that heavy bitter left out feeling but I did today and I’m trying really hard to not bail and be normal about it but I’m going to continue to cry about it until I fall asleep and it’s fine because I know I can get over it it’s just the way it feels right now is so awful and I wish I could disappear.

Bad things don’t all come back to me.

I am my own worst critic.

People care about me and love me.

My friends enjoy having me around.

I want to pluck my brain out of my skull and toss it outside the window. Then I want to lock the windows and barricade them with furniture.

Oh my god I am so behind on this. Not that there's a timeline I have to be within, but I have so many photos and so many notes in my phone with things I wanted to write about in NC and SC and NYC but I didn't have a moment where I could really compose anything. I need to go through some photos for some posts, but I can't wait, AAHHHHH.