J, 26, CA, USA | I read (currently the shepherd king duology by Rachel Gillig) and write (currently nothing) and watch (currently Andor Season 2) Check out my 2019 Masterlist
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the joy of working with middle school aged children is that, regardless of how long you've been doing it, they will always find novel ways to annoy and confuse you, which is okay because that's the natural state of the middle school aged child. anyway suffice it to say that for the past three weeks of school my 6th grade class has been greeting me at my door by lining up outside of it, playing the national anthem, and saluting me as i walk in.
Funny growing up in the late 2000s and seeing constant "don't text and drive" warnings, PSAs telling us to put our phones down behind the wheel, wait until you're home to send that text, a phone-distracted driver is a deadly driver etc etc
Only for modern car manufacturers to be like "we made the car a phone :) now you have to text and drive to change the radio station :)"
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all these clothing stores with their 'boyfriend shirts', 'boyfriend hoodies', 'boyfriend sweatpants', 'boyfriend shorts' - every two minutes someone's poor boyfriend is being divested of his clothes for resale and left cold and naked and confused somewhere
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"Don't say your character growled, he isn't an animal!" okay but have you considered that i am intentionally drawing that parallel for a reason. he is dangerous, he is feral, he is ready to attack like a dog or a jungle beast. words have these things called connotations that allow them to carry layers and layers of meaning that would otherwise take sentences to convey--sentences that wouldn't do it as well as "he growled." i say this as an english major and as someone who has been writing for over ten years: "growled" is a valid word choice when you want your readers to know that your character fucking growled.
Summary : Bucky has to recruit the love of his life to save New York from the void. He doesn't know if she wants to ever see him again, though.
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader (she/her)Â
Warnings/tags : Thunderbolts* spoilers below the cut!!!!!!! Exes to friends to lovers. Fluff, angst, reader is a tracker with enhanced senses. Cursing, Trauma. Implied sex. Alcohol consumption. Death(Please let me know if I miss anything!!!)
Requested by : anonÂ
Word count : 15k whoops
Note : This story touches on the events of Civil War, IW, Endgame, FATWS, BP Wakanda Forever, and Thunderbolts*! I used google translate for the Xhosa, so please let me know if it needs to be corrected. If youâd like to be on the taglist, message me! It gets lost in the comments sometimes. Enjoy!
You were a tracker.
Your body was a weapon, biologically improved by enhanced senses. You could smell a carcass from ten miles away. You could hear a pin drop on the other side of town. Your eyes could track body heat through a crowd of thousandsâ and it meant you were a hunter in a world full of invisible prey. Some people hunted with tools. You were the tool.Â
So, of course Steve Rogers found you when he needed to find a ghost. Steve found you when the world turned on James Buchanan Barnes.Â
After the UN bombing in Vienna, when Bucky was framed and every intelligence agency on Earth wanted him in chains or dead, Steve came to youâ he heard of you through old SHIELD filesâ with desperation and a duffel bag full of cash.Â
âI need you to find him,â he said. âBefore they do.â
You didnât even hesitate before taking the job. Because even then, before you met Bucky you believed Steve. And more than that, you believed in redemption.
You tracked Bucky down with your sensesâfollowing the scent of gunpowder and cold metal, the subtle trail of heat left in his wake, the ragged sound of breath through the cities of Bucharest.Â
You found him before the world did and pointed Steve and Sam in the right direction.
âÂ
By the time the Avengers disbanded, you were a fugitiveâhunted by that least half of the worldâs government. Helping Steve Rogers had branded you a traitor in their eyes, but you didnât regret it. Not then. Not now.
When TâChalla offered sanctuary to Bucky, he extended the same offer to you. Wakanda didnât just take you in; it gave you purpose. In exchange for refuge, you worked for the royal familyâ tracking those who dared to steal vibranium from the borders and ensuring justice found them before they slipped through the cracks.
Your home was a modest apartment tucked into the east wing of the palace. It was secluded, perfect for someone like you.
â
When Bucky finally woke from the ice and the trigger words were gone, he didnât know who to trust. The world had changed too much. He had changed too much.
He trusted Queen Ramonda, who always made sure there was room for both of you at the palace table. He trusted Shuri and the Dora Milaje, because they helped him heal his mind. He trusted both you and Tâchalla, simply because⊠Steve trusted you.Â
He didnât expect to fall for you, though.
â
At first, Bucky barely spoke. He moved like a shadow through the palace when he even left his little hut at all.Â
He was healing, but not whole. Not yet. The arm was goneâtorn from him in Siberia, left behind with the rest of Hydraâs wreckage.Â
Bucky hadnât gotten his new arm yet. Shuri insisted they take their time, that his body and mind needed rest before they complicated him with upgrades. It was the right call. But it left him vulnerable in ways he hated.Â
For a man whoâd lost so much already, it felt like one more cruel subtraction. You noticed how he avoided using his left side. How he winced at imbalance. How he hated needing help.
You didnât pity him. You just made space for him to breathe. You shared meals together in the palace garden, never pushing for a conversation he wasnât ready for.
Sometimes, youâd sit and sharpen your blades while he watched the sky. Other days, youâd bring him small thingsâa worn paperback with dog-eared pages, a piece of fruit from an outreach mission, or a knife he could train with using only one hand.
âYou're not trying to fix me,â he said once, more surprised than grateful.
You shrugged. âYouâre not broken.â
You started getting really close because of jars. Peanut butter, mostly. Occasionally pickles. Once, a stubborn jar of papaya jam.
You noticed how he hesitated at cabinets, how he didnât ask for help even when he clearly needed itâ especially because he didnât know how to use just one hand.Â
If he needed a jar opened, youâd walk by, say nothing, and twist the lid off. Then youâd leave it on the counter and move on. No questions. No pity.Â
Over time, it turned into more than jars.
He started joining you on your patrolsânot in an official capacity, just to walk, perhaps to feel the beauty of the world again without being chased. Youâd track down potential threats to Wakandan bordersâsmugglers, black market mercsâand Bucky would wait for you to get back before having his meal.Â
He eventually told you about Bucharest in fragments. About Hydra in pieces. In return, you told him about the experiment. Not all of itâjust enough for him to understand that you, too, had been shaped into something you didnât ask to be.
Days passed like water through your fingers.
You trained with him in the early mornings â barefoot in the dirt, palms open, bodies moving like you were learning each other through motion. Youâd fight, laugh, fall, rise again.
At night, you sat together under the stars, sharing stories in fragments â half-finished memories neither of you were strong enough to say out loud in full. You learned he liked fruit, that he slept on his side, that he sometimes talked in Russian in his dreams and didnât realise it.
One night, you asked, âDo you remember who you were, before all of it?â
He hesitated, then shook his head. âI think⊠I remember who I loved. My sister. Steve. The Howling Commandos. But who I was a long time ago? Heâs long gone.â
âHeâs not,â you whispered. âYouâre him. Just⊠in pieces.â
He looked at you like you were a miracle.
And one of those days, you fell in love with him.Â
You didnât fall in love all at once. It happened slowly, quietlyâlike stepping into warm water without realising how deep itâs gotten until youâre already submerged.
You tried not to make too much of it. Tried to keep it buried. But your heart had a mind of its own.
So one afternoon, you found yourself pacing in the royal garden while Nakia and Okoye pruned herbs, and blurted it out before you could stop yourself.
âI think Iâm in trouble.â
Okoye raised an eyebrow, âDid you get injured?â
âNo,â you said, âbut Iââ
Nakia interrupted you, a knowing smile curling at the edges of her mouth. âIs this the kind of trouble with blue eyes and long hair?â
âWell, yes, Iââ You groaned, pressing a hand to your face. ââI think I like him.â
Okoye tutted, not unkindly. âYou think? Iâve seen the way you look at him like heâs a sunrise after a long night.â
Nakia laughed.
âIâm serious!â you said, trying to sound firm and absolutely failing. âHe looks at me like Iâm not broken.â
âWhat is wrong with that?â Okoye asked.
âBecause I might believe him.âÂ
Nakia finally stopped laughing. Her voice softened. âSounds like someone sees you the way youâve always deserved to be seen.â
You didnât answer her.Â
â
Meanwhile, Bucky sat on a sun-warmed bench beside TâChalla, overlooking the city below. After a long silence, Bucky confessed, âI think Iâm in trouble.â
TâChalla turned to look at him and raised a brow. âThe kind with bullets or feelings?â
âFeelings,â Bucky muttered under his breath.Â
âAh. More dangerous,â TâChalla smiled slightly. âThe tracker?â
Bucky blinked. âHow the hell does everyone know?â
âYou are not subtle, my friend,â TâChalla said, patting him on the shoulder.Â
There was another pause, and then TâChalla spoke softly, âWhen I was hung up on Nakia, my baba used to tell me Uthando aluyomdlalo; ngumlambo ongenamkhawulo.â
Bucky stared at him for a while, translating in his head. Love is not a game. It is a river with no end.
âYou cannot control where it takes you,â Tâchalla explained, âOnly whether you choose to step in.â
Bucky sighed. âI think I already have.â
â
Later, by the lake, the air was still. The moonlight danced on the surface of the water, casting silver over the little hut Bucky called home.
You stood at his door, hands in clenched fists at your sides, heart racing in a way you hadnât felt since you first got your powers. You knocked, and it was softer than intendedâ like a question more than a demand.
He opened the door like heâd been expecting you. You didnât wait. You didnât explain. You just looked at him and said, âI think Iâm in trouble.â
He stepped aside without a word and let you in without a word. âMe too,â he whispered.
Inside the hut, the world seemed a bit quieter.
Bucky stood a few steps away, uncertain. You didnât move at first. Neither did he.
Then he reached out, slowly, like approaching a wounded animal. His fingers brushed yours. You curled into his touch without thinking. âIâ I think,â you choked out the words. âFuckâ I donât know how to say it or where to beginâŠâ
âShhh, I know,â he whispered reassuringly, âbecause I do, too.â
You nodded, throat tight. âI know.â
You had known for a while now. Your senses allowed you to smell the oxytocin in the air when he was around you, to hear his heartbeat quicken when you spent time together,Â
He didnât ask. He didnât need to. He just stepped closer, forehead resting against yours like it was the only place he belonged. Your fingers traced the curve of his jaw, then slid to the scar marring his shoulderâa mark where his Hydra arm used to bed.
âIâm scared,â he confessed, voice low.
âMe too,â you whispered, your lips trembling.
But then you leaned in, and kissed him.
At first, it was tentativeâtesting. Then, almost immediately, it turned urgent, like you needed to carve this moment into memory, like you were oxygen to him.Â
He kissed you back with desperation, like he was terrified you might vanish if he let go. His hand gripped your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left, no more hiding. When you finally broke apart, gasping, foreheads pressed, fingers still clinging to each other like anchors, you said it again, softer this time. âI know.â
âYeah,â he smiled, âI know.â
The next few months unfolded in pieces.
You were his lover, though neither of you used the word much. Labels felt too fragile, too small for what you were building. You sparred in the mornings, slept tangled together some nights. Sometimes you held him through dreams he didnât remember. Sometimes he held you through memories you couldnât say out loud.
Neither of you said âI love you.â
You didnât need to. You showed it in the broken ways people like you do. He cleaned your knives after missions. You kissed the scars on his body without asking where they came from. But in each other, you found peace.
But you did, though you didnât say it until a year later, When Thanosâ army broke through Wakandaâs barriers.
You stood on the battlefield, shoulder to shoulder with the Dora Milaje. He was beside you, new arm gleaming.
You both knew you might die here.
So just before the charge Bucky turned to you and reached for your hand, calloused fingers threading with yours.
âI love you,â he said.
You looked at him, heart pounding. And in that final momentâwhen the world outside this little bubble burned and the force field openedâyou said it back. âI love you too.â
And then you let go and ran into the fire together.
â
The battle was chaos.
Together, you carved a path through the madness, never far from each otherâs side. Each glance was a tether. But when Thanos snappedâ
You felt it first. A strange pull in your chest. Like gravity forgot you.
Bucky turned just in time to see you stumble.
âDoll?â He breathed out, voice catching in his throat.
You looked down at your handâ and your fingers were dissolving.
âHeyâŠâ you said softly, like you didnât want to scare him.
And thenâ you were gone, carried by the wind.
Buckyâs knees gave out next.
His vision blurred as your hands started to vanish. The world felt far away as he turned to Steve next and said his best friendâs name.
There was no time to be afraid. He just had one last thoughtâ Iâm coming with you.
And thenâ nothing.Â
â
Five Years Later.
You came back gasping.
One moment there was nothingâand the next, the battlefield roared around you again. Portals opened. War cried out for soldiers. You ran through it, only searching for one person. You searched the air for his scent, tracked body heat through the crowds looking for Bucky.
When you found him, he grabbed you and pulled you into his arms, and held you so tightly it hurt. But you didnât care. You buried your face in his shoulder and let yourself feel everything all at once.Â
You fought side by side again that day, but even after Thanos was defeated, even after the dust finally settled, the weight on Bucky's shoulders hadnât lifted.
That night, you and him laid down on a half-collapsed med tent. You were bruised, your leg cut, his knuckles torn openâbut you both refused to be separated.
âBucky,â you said gently as you took his shaking hands. âIâm here.â
He didnât answer, he just stared blankly at you like you might disappear again.
âTalk to me,â you whispered.
And thenâ he broke.
His hands grabbed your face and kissed you like he had to prove you were real. Like if he didnât, the universe might take you away again. His breath was uneven, voice hoarse as he finally spoke, âYou turned to dust in front of me.â
You pulled him in, forehead to forehead, hearts thundering between bruised ribs. âWe came back.â
âI watched it happen,â he choked. âYou looked right at meâand then you were just gone. IââÂ
âI came back,â you repeated, firmer now. âI am here.â
He didnât ask. He didnât explain. He just pushed his forehead into your collarbone and let his walls fall.Â
And in that surrender, you undressed in a desperate attempt to feel something, anything at all.Â
It wasnât rushed. It wasnât perfect. His hands shook against your bare skin, yours ached. You kissed the scar at his shoulder where metal met flesh, and he kissed the bruise on your cheekbones as if he could heal it.Â
And when you moved together, it was achingly intimateâ two ghosts trying to remember how to be alive.
After, he stayed wrapped around you, hand on your stomach, breath finally steady. You ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his temple.
â
You soon learned that you were different people to who you were five years ago.Â
You were still yourselfâbut edged. The senses theyâd carved into you had only grown keener in the dust. You could smell grief in the air. Taste the metallic echo of time. You threw yourself into your work because it was the only way you could process anything. You have given more time to your job and less to everyone else in your life because it was the only way to block your demons out.Â
And BuckyâGod, Bucky.
Maybe it was watching you vanish into nothing. Maybe it was watching Steve choose a life he didnât get to have. Maybe it was both. Whatever it was, it left him wound tight, walking through the world like it might crumble beneath his feet at any second. He became suffocatingly protective.
Now, he was always checking exits. Watching windows. Reading strangersâ faces. Looking for ghosts with Hydra insignias or familiar flags. Always ready to run.
You soon realised that while you both have survived death, surviving life was harder.
Some nights, he woke drenched in sweat, eyes wide and terrified. Sometimes he dragged you with himâout of bed, into the hall, whispering about danger that wasnât there. About people who might take you from him again. You held him anyway.
You wrapped your arms around his trembling body.. You whispered to him that he was safe, that you were real. And some nights, he even believed you.
And on the quietest nights, when your pulse thudded steady beneath his hand, youâd say the only promise that mattered, âIf we vanish againâwe vanish together.â
He would nod against your chest and weep.Â
And while your words helped him in the moment, things only got worse.Â
He was still obsessed with not losing you again.
He watched you like a man teetering on the edge of a cliff. Always scanning, always planning, always afraid. He checked your comms before you left on a mission. He memorised your schedule like a battle plan. He begged for access to your Kimoyo beads so he could track your movements like a tactician studying the terrain.
It wasnât protective anymore. It was paranoia.
He wouldnât sleep if you were out past dark. Would sit by the window, waiting for footsteps or the sound of your key in the lock.
You tried to reason with himâgently, at first. You reminded him who you were, what you could do.Â
None of it mattered.
To Bucky, you were breakable simply because you were his.
When he got pardoned, the first thing he said was, âCome with me. Brooklyn. I have to⊠make amends.â
âBucky, the Wakandan royal family is extending my contract,â You sighed, kissing the crease between his eyebrows. âThey trust me. Iâm not leaving that behind.â
He didnât argue. Not really. He just clenched his teeth and nodded. But you could feel the storm brewing, so you compromised. You would spend three months in Brooklyn with him, then three in Wakanda for work. A split life.Â
But even in that compromise, the obsession bled through. Every time you left, heâd call. Text. Ping your locator chip on your kimoyo beads. Just checking, heâd say. Just making sure youâre okay.
It stopped feeling sweet. It started to feel like surveillance.
Sometimes youâd be halfway through a missionâdeep in a jungle or in the middle of a compromised crowdsâand his name would light up your screen five, six, ten times. His worry grew into desperation.Â
You knew he didnât mean to be cruel. But it didnât make it easier.
And then one dayâ it was too much.
Youâd just gotten back from a run along the Wakandan border. You were bruised but fine as you walked into your apartment and found your phone flashing with fourteen missed calls and a message that said, âIf you donât answer in five minutes, Iâm calling Shuri. Iâll track your signal myself if I have to.â
When you called him, he picked up instantly. âAre you okay? I thoughtâGod, I thought something happenedââ
âBucky,â you snapped. âStop.â
You were pacing now, your heart hammering harder than it had in the field. âYou have got to stop doing this. I am not going to disappear every time I step outside!â
âI justââ he started, but his voice cracked. âI canât lose you again. I canâtââ
âIâm not yours to lose,â you said, quieter this time.
âI love you,â he whispered.
âI love you too,â you said, softer now. âBut thisâthis isnât love. This is fear in disguise. Youâre watching me like Iâm one wrong step away from disappearing, and itâs like youâre still stuck in that moment five years ago.â
âI am,â he said, unbearably honest. âYou turned to dust. We can't just pretend that's not real.â
âWe turned to dust, Bucky,â you corrected, your voice shaking now. âAnd we came back. We both did.â
There was a long pause. He just exhaled like the air had been punched from his lungs.
âI donât want to lose you,â he said again, but this time, it sounded like a prayer.Â
You wiped a tear from your cheek and whispered, âThen let me live.â
That night, he promised heâd do better.
He swore he would be on time to his therapy sessions. That heâd let you breathe. That heâd learn how to love you without gripping so tight it left bruises.
And for a while, he did.Â
But healing isn't linear, and Bucky Barnes fell back into the spiral like it was a black hole.
Two months later, the calls started again. The check-ins. Youâd wake to a dozen voicemails. Youâd tell him your mission schedule, but heâd still show up unannounced in Wakanda under some flimsy excuse, saying he just needed to see you, to make sure.
Then the court notices started coming. Missed sessions. Warnings from the state department. Red letters in bold ink.
He wasnât going to therapy anymore. He was tracking you instead.
When you returned from your latest mission along the southern border, there he wasâ waiting in your apartment in Wakanda, hands shaking.
âBucky?â you asked, dropping your gear. âWhat are you doing here?â
He didnât answer at first. Just stepped toward you, breathing hard like heâd run the whole way from Brooklyn.
âI tried calling,â he said. âYou didnât answer. You were late reporting in. You werenât supposed to be gone that longââ
âI was on a stealth mission, James!â you shouted, incredulous. âDo you hear yourself?â
He winced when you used his first name. âI thought you were in trouble.â
âYou thought I was in trouble so you hopped a plane, skipped two international borders, and missed court-mandated therapy to come stalk me?!â
âI wasnât stalkingââ he started, but you cut him off, voice shaking.
âBucky, go to fucking therapy! You are missing mandated sessions to follow me around like Iâm going to vanish into smoke again. Youâre not okay.â
His eyes flashed with tears building up in the corners. âIâm not okay because the one person who makes me feel safe disappears for weeks at a time without warning!â
âWhat kind of pressure is that? I am not your fucking safety net!â you finally screamed, though you did not mean to. âI am your girlfriend, not your property.â
He flinched.
âYou donât trust me,â you said, your voice cracking at the seams. âYou trust your fear more than me. You trust your obsession more than you trust my skills, my choices, my life.â
âI do trust youââ
âNo, you donât!â you snapped. âIf you did, you wouldnât be here. Youâd be in therapy. Not sitting on my damn bed, panicking because I missed a check-in by three hours.â
He looked down. âI just wanted to make sureââ
âI know,â you said softly, bitterly. âI know. And I love you. God, I love you.â
Your voice cracked again, but your words were firm. âBut this isnât love anymore, Bucky. This is control. This is not good for you. Being here? With me? It's hurting both of us.â
Finally, Bucky nodded. Just once.
âDo you think weâll ever be okay again?â he asked, voice barely audible.
You swallowed the lump in your throat and sat next to him, squeezing his human hand. You didnât want to do this like this. But the moment you looked at him you knew you couldnât keep pretending everything was fine and dandy.Â
You took a breath.
âThisâŠâ you started gently, like saying it softer might hurt less. âThis isnât working.â
He blinked. âWhat?â
âThis,â you said, motioning between you with a shaking hand. âUs. The way it is right now. Itâs not working.â
He jerked his hand back, standing up in shock like youâd slapped him. âWaitâwhat the hell are you saying?â
âIâm saying you left Brooklyn without clearance. Again. You broke paroleâagain. Youâve got people looking for you.â
âI donât care about any of that,â he snapped, eyes dark. âYou werenât answering. You were off the grid. What was I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait?â
âYes,â was all you said. You didnât need to remind him that he needed to trust you. That he needed to trust your skills.Â
His voice was shaking now. âWhat happened to âif we vanish again, we vanish togetherâ?â
You closed your eyes at the words. Youâd meant it.
But promises can rot when fed with obsession.
Your voice cracked. âI said that when you could breathe without having to know where I was every second of every day, Bucky.â
He looked down, jaw, hands balled into fists. âI canât lose you again.â
âAnd I canât live like this,â you said, voice strained as you wiped your tears away. âIâm not your leash, and Iâm not your cure. You canât chain yourself to me because you donât know how to be with yourself.â
His eyes filled with watery tears, and he didnât speak.
So you did.Â
âPlease,â you said, âleave by morning. Go home. Check in with Dr. Raynor when you land. If you donât, theyâll arrest you.â
He opened his mouth, but you shook your head. You couldnât do another round of argument.
âDonât,â you whispered. âDonât make this harder.â
He took a breath, chest heaving like heâd run a marathon just to make it this far. âSo thatâs it?â
You didnât answer.
Just stepped up and pressed your hand gently against his chestâwhere his heart still beat too fast and your enhanced hearing was picking it up too wellâand whispered, âGoodbye, Bucky.â
He turned without another word, because anything he said might break you both.
And when the door shut behind him, the silence that followed felt like a funeral.
â
Bucky didn't know where to go, so he wandered and wandered until he sat down on the palace steps, hands shaking, heart swirling like a thunderstorm in his chest.Â
He didnât notice TâChalla approach until the king sat beside him, arms resting on his knees.
For a long while, neither of them spoke. âShe told you to leave,â TâChalla said simply. Not unkind, but not sparing.
Buckyâs teeth clenched. âYeah.â
âSheâs right, you know.â
âI donât want to hear that right now.â
âI know,â TâChalla said. âBut I am saying it anyway, my friend.â
Bucky said nothing, fists digging into the vibranium infused staircase step beneath him. TâChalla went on, âYou love her. I know. She loves you too. But love twisted by fear is dangerous. You were not protecting her. You were holding her hostage in your panic.â
âI wasnâtââ
âYou were,â TâChalla interrupted gently. âAnd she forgave you for longer than most would. But she cannot carry both her past and yours. You nearly became what you once fought against: control.â
Bucky turned his head away, chest tight. âI didnât mean to. I justâ I couldnât lose her again.â
âItâs not just you,â TâChalla said softly, âshe⊠she needs space. Sheâs throwing herself into work, and perhaps thatâs how she copes, but sheâs becoming⊠distant. From you. From all of us.â
Buckyâs breath hitched.
âYou know I know what it feels like firsthand to come back from being turned to dust.â TâChalla said, âand when we came back, we all changed. I believe you might need time away from each other to first understand how you both have changed.â
Bucky finally looked at him, eyes rimmed with red. âSo what, I just pretend none of this happened?â
âNo,â TâChalla said. âYou leave. You go to therapy. And you become someone who deserves a second chanceânot from her. From yourself.â
Then TâChalla stood, brushing nonexistent dust from his robes. He looked down at the man once known as the Winter Soldierâ now just a man.
âI will have a jet ready within the hour,â he said. âYou will not say goodbye. That would only cause more pain.â
Bucky could only nod. Deep down, Tâchalla was his friend as much as he was yours. He was looking out for him as much as he was looking out for you.Â
â
Bucky didnât go straight to the jet in the landing pad.Â
He walked around firstâthrough the gardens he used to kiss you in, down the quiet stone paths lined with flowering trees. And then, when he couldnât stall any longer, he found Shuri.
She was in her lab, sleeves rolled up, a smudge of grease on her cheek, working on a new upgrade for the Kimoyo bead system. She didnât look surprised when she saw him.
He stood just inside the door for a while, fidgeting with the strap of the bag slung over his shoulder.Â
âIâm leaving,â he said finally, voice hoarse.
Shuri nodded with a sad smile. âI heard.â
He hesitated. âCan you keep tabs on her for me?â He asked. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he realised how bad it mustâve sounded. âIâm not asking you to spy on her. I swear.â
That made her pause. She turned to him, brows raised in wary curiosity. âSounds like you are.â
âIâm not,â he said again, hands up in surrender. âBut I needâI just need to know if sheâs hurt. Thatâs all. If sheâs injured. If something happens in the field. Not every move, not every detail, just... if sheâs okay.â
Shuriâs eyes softened. âShe wants you to move on. You know that, right?â
âI know,â Bucky said quickly. âAnd I wonât reach out. I wonât interfere. But if something serious happensâif sheâs in the med bay or worseâI need to know. I canât breathe not knowing that.â
Shuri crossed her arms. Studied him.
âYou still think itâs love, donât you?â she asked quietly.
He flinched. âI donât know what it is anymore. But I know that itâs not trust. Not peace. Thatâs why Iâm leaving.â
She held his eyes for a long time. Then she nodded once. âIf sheâs ever in danger, youâll hear from me. Thatâs all Iâll promise.â
He nodded, relieved. âThank you.â
Shuri stepped closer, pressing a new set of Kimoyo beads into his palm. âThese wonât track her. But they will let you receive encrypted pings if I send one. No contact. Just information.â
Bucky curled his fingers around the beads like they were a lifeline.
âIâll earn my second chance,â he whispered, almost to himself. âEven if itâs just for me.â
Shuri nodded. And with that, she turned back to her work.
Bucky walked out of the lab with the bracelet tucked into his pocket and boarded the jet alone.
Not with closure. But with a choice to begin again.
â
Six Months Later
You hadnât meant to watch the news. It was just playing in the corner of the lab, the volume low was meant to be background noise. Â
But there he was.
Bucky, onn screen, his hair shorter now, beard shaved. He was standing next to Sam, both of them looking like theyâd just walked through hell and come out victorious.Â
âBarnes and Wilson led the operation to contain a Flag Smasher attackââ
The footage cut to shaky video: Bucky saving hostages from a burning truck. Sam dropped from above, wings that Shuri gave him expanding in the night sky
You stopped breathing for a second.
Not because he looked goodâ though he didâ but because he looked... different. Lighter. Still sharp around the edges, still Bucky, but not strung so tight he might snap. His shoulders werenât so hunched. His eyes didnât carry that haunted glaze you'd come to know too well.
You looked down at your phone, thumb hovering over the screen. Muscle memory had already opened your messages. The text thread was still there.
You started to type.Â
Saw you on TV today. You lookedâ
You paused and backspaced.
Took down some Flag Smashers, huh? Didnât even trip once. Iâm impressed.
Delete.
You looked okay.
No.
You stared at the screen. You wanted to say something small, something kind. Something to let him know youâd seen him, that you still cared.
And thenâ
âNope,â Okoye said from behind you.
You jumped, flipping your phone face-down like a teenager caught texting a crush.
Okoye raised an eyebrow, arms crossed in full general-mode. âI know that look. You are thinking about him.â
You sighed, rubbing your forehead. âHe looked... better.â
âGood. That is what healing is supposed to look like,â she said, tilting her head. âBut do not dishonour that progress by dragging each other back into the fire so soon.â
âI wasnât going to send it,â you muttered under your breath.Â
Okoye gave you a really? look.Â
You smiled sheepishly. âOkay, maybe. But just a little.â
She stepped forward, took your phone, and pocketed. âLet him move on. I will take you on patrol,â she said briskly, already walking toward the hangar. âAnd after, we have tea. And girl talk.â
âGirl talk?â you chuckled, following.
âYes. I have opinions on your taste in emotionally volatile men. It is time you heard them.â
You laughed despite yourself.
â
One Year Later.
The palace was quieter now that TâChalla was gone.
And grief didnât move cleanly through your body like it used to. It crept and lingered and collected behind your eyes, in the back of your throat, in the hollow ache of your chest that wouldnât quite go away.
Youâd expected to feel lost. But not like this.
You stood at the balcony outside your quarters, fingers curled around a steaming cup of tea Ayo had forced into your hands.Â
You hadnât slept. Couldnât eat. Before returning back to your quarters, you stayed with Shuri the entire day today, being present for her and Queen Ramonda.
And then the doorbell chimed.
You opened it to find a small wrapped bundle of flowers on the floor. A delivery slip attached in elegant Wakandan script: With honor and remembrance.
In the bouquet was Snowdrops, winter jasmine, and White hyacinth.
It was a winter bouquet.
Not many people in Wakanda would choose those blooms. Not unless theyâd meant something.
It was him. Bucky.
He mustâve contacted his old florist in the city to have it delivered to your wing of the palace.Â
You sat on the edge of the bed, the flowers still in your hands, too stunned to cry.
And then, before you even realised what you were doing, your phone was in your lap. You opened the message thread with Bucky.Â
You typed, Shuri said she texted you. Said you could come to the funeral. Why didnât you?
You stared at it. Then, slowly, you deleted it.
Because what would he even say? That he wanted to give you space? That he didnât know if you wanted to see him? That he sent flowers because showing up would hurt you more?
Maybe he thought the blooms were enough. But they werenât.
You needed himâ a friend who had known TâChalla like you had. Someone who remembered the man like you didâ not just the king.
You wanted Bucky to hold you and reminisce about that time you dared Tâchalla to arm wrestle him. You wanted to laugh about his horrible jokes during harvest. But all you got were flowers.
And wasnât this what you asked for?
You had told him to let go. To move on. To live his life. And he had.
You wiped at your eyes with the back of your wrist, too tired to be angry. Too empty to cry. Later, you placed the bouquet beside the small altar in the throne room, next to TâChallaâs photo.
A winter gift for a king.
You whispered, "I miss both of you."
â
You didnât sleep much the year after that.
You didnât eat much either. Grief gnawed at your gut like hunger, but nothing ever settled. Not even water. Not even rest.
All you had left was work. You helped Wakanda defend itself from foreign attacks, and when the time came, you helped track Riri Williams for Shuri.Â
But when Shuri was taken by the Talokan, your sanity was cracked clean in half.
You didnât feel fear. Or rage. Just focus. Razor-sharp, ice-cold, deadly focus.
You helped Nakia track herâ followed her scent through the water, infrared vision scanning jungle heat signatures, nose full of salt and humidity until found her underwater. You got her back.
But then Namor attacked, and Queen Ramonda didnât make it.
You had to look at one more coffin. One more goodbye to one more person gone who had offered you safety, love, and dignity.
Ramonda had seen both you and Bucky when you came to Wakanda scarred and haunted. She had welcomed you with open arms. And now she was gone too.
At the funeral, you held Shuri up because she was shaking. You held her hand. And when it was over, you took her into your quarters and let her sob into your shoulder for hours
You didnât cry.
You couldnât. You had to be strong for her.
That night, your phone buzzed with a message.
Bucky : âYou okay?â
That was it.
You stared at it. You read it again. Then again.
Are you okay?Â
You almost laughed. As if that was a question that could be answered in a text. As if that was something you could possibly explain.
Your queen was dead. Your sister in everything but blood had just buried both her brother and mother within 14 months. The kingdom you had called home for the past decade was under attack. You hadn't slept in four days. Your body was covered in bruises. And Buckyâthe man who had once buried his face in your collarbone and sobbed because he couldnât bear to lose youâsent a text.
A fucking text. Not even a call.Â
You set your phone down and didnât respond.
You didnât throw it. You didnât curse. You didnât scream. You just... sat there. Numb.Â
And that was the first night you drank.
You drank because your hands wouldnât stop shaking and your mind wouldnât stop screaming and no mission could numb you enough to silence the memory of Tâchallaâs last words or Ramondaâs last breath or Shuriâs tears soaking through your shirt.
You didnât stop after one. You wanted to not feel at all. And when the bottle emptied, you drank again. And the next night. And the one after that.
It didnât fix anything.
â
A Year Later.
You had buried yourself in fieldworkâ back to back missions for Wakanda with little to no rest in between. It dulled the ache of grief, but it never fully faded. You were getting better. Still dying inside, but a little slower now.
You took risks that made even Okoye grit their teeth, but you didnât care. With Shuri as the new Black Panther and the Midnight Angels at your side, it felt like movement was the only thing keeping you from collapsing.Â
You didnât care if the assignments were dangerous. Maybe you even preferred it that way.
Shuri was adjusting your new visor in her lab when she glanced up casually. âYou know your ex is running for Congress?â
You tilted your head, âWhat?â
She flicked her fingers and brought up a holographic newsfeed. There he wasâJames Buchanan Barnes. Neatly combed hair in a dark blue suit, sporting a nervous half-smile. He was shaking hands somewhere in New York, surrounded by cameras.
You stared. âBucky⊠in politics? Are we sure thatâs not a skrull?â
Shuri laughed, brightening the room. âPositive. He filed last week. His campaignâs all over the placeâveteran advocacy, post-Blip recovery programs.â
You raised an eyebrow. âMaking amends.â
âHe always said he wanted to,â she said gently.
You nodded, silent for a second too long. âHeâll do well.â
Shuri studied your expression. âYou think?â
You didnât answer right away. Your eyes stayed on the imageâon Buckyâs restrained expression, the way he looked down like he was afraid to take up space.
âYeah,â you said. âHave you seen that smile? He could charm a whole room without opening his mouth.â
Shuri laughed again. You found yourself smiling too, even if it hurt to do so.
For a while, she was as self-destructive as you. But now, you didnât know how Shuri carried her own losses so gracefully, how she held herself together. Maybe it was the suit or the legacy. Or maybe she was just stronger. Your method was simpler: run into danger and donât care if you make it out. It wasnât healthy. But it was efficient.
Still, your senses were stronger than ever. You have noticed how Shuriâs heartbeat always picked up when you mention Bucky. You always assumed it was because she was worried about youâ about the old wounds reopening.Â
What you still didnât know, what she never told you, was that she and Bucky were in constant contact. And after her motherâs death, her updates to him became more detailed, more frequent. Perhaps, it was because you were the closest thing she had to a sister. Perhaps she wanted to keep you safeâ and letting Bucky know of your missions meant that if anything were to go wrong, he would be there to help.
She had already lost Tâchalla and Ramonda. She was not going to lose you, too.
â
Utah. Thunderbolts* timeline.
The gas station was run-down, lit by flickering fluorescent lights and signs buzzing with static. Inside, the team Yelena had apparently nicknamed the Thunderbolts stood in varying degrees of impatience as Bucky took off the last of their restraints.
Yelena rubbed her wrists and shot Bucky a sidelong glance. âSo. How are we going to track Bob?â
Bucky didnât answer immediately. He was already pulling out his phone, lips pressed in a hard line. âCanât track Melâs phone,â he muttered under his breath. âWherever they are, they must have signal jammers.â
âGreat,â John said. âAnd weâre just supposed to... drive and hope weâre going in the right direction?â
Ava narrowed her eyes. âWe don't have time. If Val has Bob, thereâs no tellingââ
Bucky raised a hand. âI⊠I might know someone nearby who can track a scent halfway across the world.â
Alexei straightened with a hopeful gleam in his eye. âAh! We are getting reinforcements?â He cracked his knuckles.Â
Bucky was already reaching for his phone, hesitation coiling in his chest. His thumb hovered over the screen.
He shouldn't be doing this, right?
Were you ready to see him? After everything? After how you ended things? Did you even want to see him?
He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to shove down the uncertainty clawing at his ribs.Â
Focus, Barnes.Â
This wasnât about closure or guilt or anything personal. Civilians could be in danger. And if Sentry project was as dangerous as they said, then they were way past playing it safe.
Even if it was messy. Even if it hurt.
âSomething like that,â Bucky muttered, then hit Callâand walked out into the gas station parking lot.
â
Call to Shuri, Wakandan Secure Channel.
âBucky,â Shuri answered briskly, âIf this is about a replacement arm because the raccoon stole it againââ
âItâs not,â Bucky cut in. âI need hotel information.â
A pause. âFor whom?â
âFor her.â He didnât have to say your name. Shuri knew exactly who he meant.
âWhy?â
âYou told me she was in a joint op with Everett Ross in Salt Lake City. I just need the hotel name, Shuri.â
âThatâs classified,â she said, more defensively than she meant. She was willing to give him many things about you, but this might be teetering on a line she wouldnât cross.
âI wouldnât ask if it wasnât urgent. We need to track someone before he levels a city,â Bucky explained, âPlease.â
Shuri went quiet, because she knew a call from the White Wolf meant things were getting out of hand.Â
â
You smelled him before he knocked.
He smelled like leather and metal. He had that faint, signature scent â like snowmelt clinging to old wood.Â
You just finished an intel swap with Everett Ross, and now all you wanted to do was lie down and sleep. That was until you caught a whiff of his scent and you stopped dead in your tracks.Â
The knock came a second later.
You took a breath, schooled your expression, and opened the door.
And there he was. James Buchanan Barnes. Standing in a Salt Lake City hotel hallway.Â
His hair was longer than you last saw on TV, a little more silver threading through the temples. A black t-shirt that clung to him in all the ways that werenât fair, leather jacket over it.Â
You froze for a moment.Â
âWow⊠Iâ youâŠ,â he said, as if he couldnât help himself. âYouâre still as beautiful as the last time I saw you.â
You let out a dry laugh before you could stop yourself, folding your arms. âYou showing up uninvited in a hallway in Utah wasnât exactly how I imagined hearing that.â
Bucky gave you a lopsided little smile â the kind that once made your knees weak. âYeah, well⊠surprise?â
You rolled your eyes. But it was hard to ignore how your heartbeat had kicked up. âHow did you even know I was here?â
He winced. âOkay, so⊠donât be mad.â
âOh no,â you said, flatly. âGreat way to start.â
âI, uh⊠may have asked Shuri.â
Your brows rose. âYou what?â
âJust for updates.â
âBucky.â
âShe didnât tell me much! Justâlikeâgeneral stuff. Missions. If you were injured. If youâd⊠eaten.â
âYouâve been asking my best friend to report on my food intake?â
âOkay, that was one time!â
âYou donât get to be worried anymore,â you cut in ever so gently, and the smile dropped from his face.
âI know,â he said.Â
You stared at him, longing pressing under your ribs.
âYou couldâve just called,â you said.
He swallowed. âI didnât think youâd answer.â
âThen why are you here?â
âIâŠâ He ran a hand through his hair. âI needed your help. For something. But part of me⊠I- I donât know. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to see you.â
âWell, congratulations.â You rolled your eyes, âYou found me.â
He didnât respond. Just stood there with that goddamn puppy-dog look on his face â the one you used to wake up to. The one that said he still loved you in ways he probably didnât know how to stop.
The silence stretched thin.
Finally, you sat down on your bed and said, âYou werenât there.â
Sitting down on the armchair across from you, Buckyâs brows pulled together, and he knew instantly what you meant.
âTâChalla,â you said. âRamonda. You didnât come. You sent flowers. A text. Thatâs all.â
âI know.â
âDo you?â Your voice cracked at the edges. âYou donât get it, Bucky. You were family. They loved you.â
âI loved them, too,â he said. âGod, I loved them. TâChalla gave me a second chance. Ramonda treated me like a second son. You think it didnât kill me not to be there?â
âThen why werenât you?â you asked, quieter now. âWhy didnât you show up?â
He looked away. âBecause I knew Iâd see you, too.â
Oh.Â
He continued, voice rough, eyes fixed on a random point over your shoulder. âI knew Iâd see you in white, standing in front of that city that saved both of us. And I knew I wouldnât be able to hold it together. I couldnât go to Wakanda to grieve them and be reminded of you. I was already falling apart. I couldnât break in front of everyone.â
Your breath hitched, just a little.
âYou think I didnât fall apart?â you whispered. âYou think I didnât wake up everyday being reminded of you? That I didnât carry Shuri when she couldnât stand even when I missed you?â
He looked back at you, âYou are stronger than me.â
âNo, Bucky,â You shook your head. âI just showed up.â
He swallowed hard, his chest heaving just slightly.
You stared at each other again â that thick, choking silence drowning you like a wave.
And still⊠underneath it all, there was love. Frustrated, frayed, unresolved â but alive.Â
Bucky leaned forward. âI know I messed up. I know I donât deserve to ask you for anything.â
You didnât answer. You just watched him, waiting.
âIâll stop,â he promised. âThe updates. Everything. Iâll leave you alone. I just⊠need you to do one thing.â
Before you could respond, your nose twitched.
You frowned and sniffed the air, eyes narrowing when your ears picked up four new heartbeats in the vicinity.Â
âBucky,â you said slowly. âDoes this have anything to do with the four jackasses currently pressed up against the hallway wall?â
He blinked. â...No?â
You sighed, walked to the front of the room and opened the door. Yelena, Ava, John, and Alexei all flinched like a bunch of kids caught behind a curtain.
âI told you to wait in the car,â Bucky groaned.Â
You crossed your arms at the four extremely guilty faces frozen mid-lean.
Ava, arms crossed like she wasnât just eavesdropping with laser focus. Yelena, who gave a tiny wave. âHi.â John, trying very hard to act casual. Alexei was grinning wide. âAh! She is even more terrifying than Mr. Soldier described! I like her.â
You stared at them. Then at Bucky.
He winced. â...So yeah. About that one thing.â
â
They gave you the rundown on Bob and the Sentry Projectâchaotic, riddled with questions and coded language that made you realise that Bucky was rightâ this was a larger-than-life situation.
It was enough to raise every red flag in your head, and by the end of it, you were just dragging a hand down your face like you were wiping off the last shred of peace you had left.
âFine,â you muttered, already rerouting your mental map like instinct. You stepped in closer, tilting your head just slightly at the three people who had been in close vicinity to Bob.Â
Yelena, John, and Ava.
You went in close and did a focus inhale through your nose. Your senses lit up. You could smell a thread between themâ that must be Bobâs smell.Â
You could pick apart the sweat and smoke residue. You could smell the iron-spike scent of stress hormones surging through their blood. You could practically taste the adrenaline.
âGot it,â you said, nodding once.
Then you turned, already moving.
Your pupils contracted as you flipped into the edge of your infrared vision, sweeping the environment in layered pulses of heat and light. People lit up like sketches in flames. Your hearing tuned up next, catching radio chatter three blocks out, the thrum of a drone overhead.
You walked out, and they followed you as you followed the scent straight toward Avengers Tower.
â
Void, New York.
The city was being devouredâblock by block, building by buildingâinto a yawning chasm of darkness,a negative space eating reality alive. It was as if Bob had carved a hole in the fabric of reality and let nothingness bleed through. The skyline blurred at the edges, buildings sucked into the black like paper into flame.Â
People were turned into shadows, and what scared you the most was you canât smell them anymore. You canât hear them anymore. They⊠vanished.
You stood on the edge of where Grand Central Station used to be. Bob was in the center of it allâor what was left of him.Â
You had found him, and it had gone bad. Catastrophically bad.
Yelena didnât hesitate. She was the first one to go in.Â
The others had followedâAlexei, John, Avaâone by one, swallowed whole by the nothingness.
Now it was just you and Bucky.
The edge of the Void shimmered like a heat mirage, the floor fracturing under it.Â
You stared into the nothingness and it looked exactly how youâd felt the day Wakanda lost its king. The day Ramonda breathed her last breath in that throne room. The day you held Shuriâs hand as she lost everything.
And all you could think, selfishly, was how Bucky hadnât been there.
You swallowed hard, voice barely more than a whisper. âIâm scared.â
Bucky looked at you, eyes softening.
You didnât know what was on the other side. You didnât know what youâd seeâ what the Void would show you, or take from you.
But for the first time in years, the love of your life reached out and took your hand.Â
âIf we vanish again,â he said quietly, âwe vanish together.â
Right.Â
Your fingers curled around his, Your voice barely trembled as you said it again, âTogether.â
Then you stepped forward and let the Void take you both.
â
Bucky woke up in the snow.
He recognised this place even before he heard the screaming wind, before he looked down and saw his blood soaking into the white ground.
Bucky was twenty-something againâstill Sergeant James Barnes. Still just a soldier, a friend, a smartass.
He was watching himself fall. Watching his arm catch on the railing, and breaking on impact. He watched his body spiral and bounce once before settling.
He tried to look away, but he couldnât.
He remembered waiting for hours for help. No one came.
âIâm sorry,â Bucky whispered, but the younger version didnât respond. He blinked once more and then stopped moving altogether.
Then, in an attempt to escape this vision, he buried himself in an avalanche of snow.
He woke up in another room. It was his apartment, familiar and claustrophobic at the same time. The curtains were drawn tight, the air thick with the scent of cheap whiskeyÂ
And there he was â himself again. This Bucky was slouched on the floor, back against the wall, surrounded by a graveyard of bottles. Some still full. Most empty. The floor was soaked where heâd dropped one earlier.
He had a bottle pressed to his lips now. He took another long, angry swig. Then another. Thenâ
Nothing.
No burn. No warmth in his chest. No haze. He roared suddenly, launching the bottle across the room. It shattered against the wall. Glass rained down like glittering snow.
âWhy wonât it work?â he shouted, voice hoarse. âWhy wonât it fucking work?â
He lurched to his feet, fumbling for another bottle in the kitchen. His hands shook. His breathing was ragged.
âJust let me forget,â he begged, staring at his reflection in the microwaveâs glass. âLet me forget. Let me be numb.â
But his body refused. His curse of super soldier metabolism was that he would never let him escape. He would never get drunk ever again.
He threw the next bottle harder. The glass cut his knuckles. He didnât feel it.
He had only landed from Wakanda twelve hours ago. But this time, he landed with the knowledge that you were not his anymore. And now there was no one to fight with. No one to talk to. No one to hold his hand when the nightmares got bad. No one to anchor him when he spiraled.
He slid down the wall and pressed his forehead to his knees like he could disappear into his own body.
He whispered your name over and over again.
The most devastating part was knowing that he had finally found someone who saw him, and still, somehow, he had driven you away.
He stayed like that for what felt like hours. Days. Maybe he never left that floor at all.
Then â Bucky saw a ripple from a puddle across the room where he had spilled his drink earlier.Â
He looked into it, and instead of a reflection, he saw you.Â
You were curled up on a couch in another life, in another room. Fingers wrapped around a half-empty bottle. Your head lolling against the armrest, eyes glazed. Laughter bubbled out of your mouth that didnât belong there â not the happy kind. This laughter was crooked, the kind you used to hide the sobs building beneath your ribs.
The bottle slipped from your fingers and onto the floor.
You were drunk. Not a buzz. Not a haze. You were gone, and it showed.
You started slurring words to no one and between fits of laughter. The makeup smeared across your cheek wasnât from a night out â it was from wiping away tears with the back of your hand over and over again.
You were wrecked in a way Bucky couldnât be.
You had the freedom he envied, the escape he was never allowed. You could bury the grief. He had to live with it. And thenâ he saw what you were clutching in your lap.
It was a photo of You, Bucky, Shuri, and Tâchalla, taken by Queen Ramonda by the lake, only a couple of days before Thanos attacked.Â
You stared at the photo like it might move. Like if you looked hard enough, you could reach through the glossy paper and pull them out.
But they were gone.
TâChalla. Ramonda.
And Bucky.
He hadnât died, but he wasnât there either. Not when it mattered.
Your grip on the bottle tightened. And thenâsuddenlyâyou screamed. âWHY ARENâT YOU HERE?!â
The words tore out of you like glass, shredding you from the inside out.
You hurled the bottle across the room. It hit a wall, shattered, and splashed liquor across the floor. Your body jolted with it, like youâd thrown a piece of yourself.
And then you just collapsed yourself, rocking back and forth. âMy fault,â you whispered over and over again. âMy fault. All my fault. My fault.â
Bucky watched from the other side of the reflection, both of you broken in different waysâhe, invulnerable and furious that he couldnât feel the poison work; you, drowning in it.
The grief between you wasnât just shared.
It was mirrored.
Both of you in your separate corners of the world, drinking like it might erase memory, like it might bring someone back, like it might turn regret into penance.
With a deep breath, he took a leap of faith and stepped into the puddle.Â
It felt like falling like leaping off a rooftop with no guarantee of landing, but choosing the fall anyway because it might bring him back to you.
And he was right.
He was there, with the real you.Â
You were in that room, in the corner, watching it all play out like a film you couldnât pause.
That puddle had been more than a doorway. It had been a choice. And he had chosen you.
Bucky knelt down beside you slowly. He didnât say anything at first. Just pulled you into him.
And for a moment, you didnât move.
But then his arms wrapped around you, the walls gave in. Your fingers clutched at the back of his jacket and you buried your face into his shoulder.
You stayed like that for a while.Â
Then, muffled against him, you said, âI shouldâve called.â
He just held you tighter.
You continued. âYou gave me flowers. A text. It wasnât much, but⊠at least it was something. I didnât even text back. I didnât give you anything.â
Bucky pulled back slightly to look at you, his hands still resting gently on your shoulders. âNo,â he said. âDonât apologize. Iââ He exhaled slowly, eyes dark and honest. âI was suffocating you. I⊠I ruined you.â
âYou never ruined me, Bucky,â you said. âYou broke my heart. But you never ruined me.â
Silence stretched again â for a while.
âI was scared Iâd never see you again,â you admitted, quieter now. âThat youâd disappear into some mission and Iâd never get to tell you I was still⊠that I stillâ fuck⊠Iââ Unable to finish your sentences, looked away instead, chewing the inside of your cheek. Then you asked what had been burning in the back of your throat this whole time: âAre we ever going to be okay again?â
His answer was quiet, immediate. âWe already are.â He kissed your temple â not possessive or desperate, just⊠loving.Â
You blinked up at him. âWhat?â
He smiled. âYouâre here. Iâm here. Weâre talking. Yelling. Holding each other. Thatâs more than most people get.â
You chuckled, exhaling a shaky breath, forehead resting against his. âSo what now?â
âNow?â he murmured. âWe get up.â
Your hand slid down his arm and laced your fingers with his. âAnd what about the end of the world?â
He gave a half-laugh, half-sigh. âRight. That.â
You both stood, like people learning how to walk for the first time again.
He looked at you, wiping a tear from his cheeks. âCâmon,â he said, nodding toward the door. âLetâs go find Bob.â
And this time, you walked out together.
â
Post-Void. New York, again.
Youâd done it. Youâd pulled Bob out, helped him control the void inside of him.Â
And just as the dust started to settle, Val ambushed you all with a press conference. She threw around the word New Avengers like it was already printed across a glossy magazine cover.Â
Your phone immediately lit up like a Christmas tree.
Everett Ross: Did my EX-WIFE just put you in the New Avengers lineup? Why did you not tell me this?
You winced. Ex-wife. Of course.
Then, Shuri: ??? What is HAPPENING? Should I have not given Bucky your hotel?
And the kicker came from the current king of Wakanda himself.
MâBaku: Werenât you on a foreign mission on behalf of Wakanda? You are now on AMERICAN NEWS? Call back immediately.
You groaned and thumbed your phone to Do Not Disturb.
The others were watching you now. Bob was still sitting in the sun. Yelena tried ignoring the cameras with practiced disinterest.Â
Beside you, Bucky was catching his breath, hair tousled, jacket streaked with dust.Â
âYou wanna come back to my place?â he asked, pointing to your phone. âMake the calls from there, if this is too much.â
You blinked. âDonât you live in D.C. now? Whole Capitol Hill, suit-and-tie Bucky?â
He shrugged, glanced at a hovering drone cam, and flipped it off without changing expression. âKept my old apartment in Brooklyn. Rent controlled.â
You smirked, though the change in his heartbeat did not go unnoticed. âYouâre sentimental.â
âNo,â he chuckled. âIâm cheap. But if it helps, the water pressure is still garbage and the radiator still sounds like a haunted typewriter. Just like last time you were there.â
Before you could answer, Alexei called out from behind you. âCan we all come? Team debrief?â
You turned, and shook your head. âTop secret. Iâll find you later.â
Ava lifted a hand lazily. âSheâs a tracker. She will.â
She was right. If anyone tried to disappear, youâd have them in an hour.
As you turned away with Bucky at your side, your super-hearing picked up everything. Far behind you, John Walker, never one for subtlety, muttered to someone â probably Yelena, âTwenty bucks says theyâre back together by tonight. I mean, do you see how they look at each other?â
You kept walking. Bucky hadnât heard it â his senses werenât as sharp as yours, even with the serum.
You debated pretending you hadnât either.Â
â
You knew before he even unlocked the door that keeping this place wasnât about rent control.
When it creaked as you walked, the first thing you could smell was remnants of yourself.Â
The radiator still coughed in the corner like it was dying. Everything smelled faintly of old wood and clean laundry, and something faintly him â steel and cedar and memory.
Your breath hitched when you saw the shelf to your left still had your copy of Baldwinâs The Fire Next Time, the one Bucky swore he never borrowed.
Your old hoodie â the grey one with the thumb holes â was folded on the arm of the couch like you had just worn it yesterday.
The photos in the frames hadnât changed. There was one of you and him, laughing in the sunset. One of Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Tâchalla with you and Shuri making faces while photobombing them. Then, a photo of you, him, Shuri, and Tâchallaâ his copy of the one Ramonda had taken.Â
Oh.Â
The space was like a museum and a time capsule rolled into one.
You didnât say anything at first.
You sat down at the kitchen table and pulled out your phone. A stack of voicemails and messages had piled up, still buzzing in the background. The world was catching up to what had just happened â the Void, Valâs PR machine spinning headlines while you were still scrubbing concrete dust out of your hair.
You answered MâBaku first, then Shuri, then Ross. But your eyes kept drifting to the photos, the jacket, the battered mug with the chipped rim that you used to have your coffee in, no matter how much it leaked.
Bucky stayed quiet.Â
He didnât hover. Just leaned against the counter with a mug in his hand that had long since gone cold.
When you finally finished the last call, you let out a deep breath. Your fingers tightened around the edge of the table. Then, you looked at him. âRent control, huh?â you raised an eyebrow.
He blinked, looking down to his feet.
âYouâre full of shit,â you added, gentler this time.
And Bucky chuckled his first real laugh since your reunion. He dropped his head for a second, shaking it slowly. âYeah,â he said. âI guess I am.â
He stepped a little closer, leaning one hand on the table across from you. His other hand hovered, like he wanted to reach out but didnât want to break whatever fragile platform you were both standing on.
âI kept thinking Iâd throw it all out,â he said. âThat Iâd come back one day and finally⊠take it all down. Pack the clothes. Box up the books and mail them to you. But I never did.â
You looked down at your hands. You could feel his eyes on you.
âI think,â he said, quieter now, âthat part of me thought⊠if I kept it all exactly the same, maybe youâd come back.â
Your throat tightened.
He ran a hand through his hair, his voice rough around the edges. âI donât know how to do this. Iâm not⊠good at this. At any of it. But I donât want to keep pretending I donât want you in my life .â
Silence stretched for a long moment.
Finally, you said, âShuri told me something the other day.â
Bucky straightened a little.
âShe was trying to explain quantum entanglement to me. That even when particles are separated by galaxies, they still feel each other. React to each other. Like distance doesnât matter. Not really.â You met his eyes. âThatâs us, isnât it?â
âYeah.â Bucky gave you a sad smile, âItâs us.â
You looked around the room again.
âIâm not ready,â you said. âI donât know how to go back to what we were. I donât even know if we should.â
âI donât want what we were,â he said, without hesitation. âI want better.â
You studied him. He looked different than the last time you saw him â older, maybe. Not physically. But his eyes were angry. Less anxious.
You nodded. âSlow,â you said. âWe take it slow.â
He looked⊠relieved.Â
He didnât step closer. He didnât grab you or kiss you or make some grand statement. Instead, he reached out and gently rested two fingers against the back of your hand, just enough to feel you there.
âOkay,â he said.
And somehow, it was enough.
Not everything was fixed, but for the first time in a long time, you had him back in your life.
â
You didnât know what you expected when you landed in Wakanda. Maybe MâBaku would challenge you to one final sparring match and attempt to win the truth out of you with his bare hands. Maybe Shuri would yell. Maybe Okoye would look at you like a traitor.
But no one raised their voice, and that almost made it worse.
The throne room was still. MâBaku stood tall with his arms crossed. As you stepped forward, you tried to square your shoulders, trying to find the version of yourself that had once stood tall hereâ not as a visitor, not as a liability, but as someone who helped this nation rebuild from the blip, from the loss of their king, from the loss of their queen.
But your throat was dry. Your heartbeat thrummed in your chest. âI came to explain,â you said, voice thinner than youâd hoped.
âYou do not need to,â MâBaku replied, his voice grave but not unkind.
You stopped, stunned by how final he sounded.
He descended the steps from the throne, each footfall echoing through the vibranium coated walls. âI regret to inform you that your contract with Wakanda is terminated,â he said. âEffective immediately.â
You opened your mouth to protest, but he lifted a hand before you could speak.
âYou are now aligned with the New Avengers,â he said, reciting an uncomfortable truth. âYou report to the CIAâs director. Your loyalties have shiftedâby necessity, perhaps, but shifted nonetheless. Wakanda cannot afford blurred lines.â
Fuck.Â
âI didnât ask for the public announcement,â you said as a last line of defence. âValentina made that move without consulting anyone.â
âAnd yet the world knows,â MâBaku answered. âPerception, as you know, is reality. The eyes of the world are on you now. And those eyes inevitably turn toward Wakanda.â
You lowered your gaze, heart dropping in your chest. âI understand.â
âButâŠâ he continued, âI want you to know that you were never just a contract to us.â
When he stepped closer, his stance shifted. He wasnât Wakandaâs king now. He was MâBakuâ your sparring partner, your most stubborn friend, the man who once cracked your rib in training and called it âbonding.â
âYou were family,â he said quietly. âYou annoyed me more than any outsider Iâve ever met, and I will miss that more than you can imagine.â
Before you could speak, he pulled you into his arms and⊠hugged you.
You held onto himâtighter than you meant to. You didnât want to let go. Wakanda had been more than a mission or a job. It had been your home. It was the place that gave you purpose when the rest of the world had hunted you. And now, with a few words and a kingâs goodbye, it was slipping through your fingers.
âYouâll be alright, sister,â he reassured, voice. âYou always land on your feet.â He pulled back just enough to smirk. âLike a very ugly cat with no grace.â
You laughed. Or maybe you cried. You werenât sure.
â
Outside the throne room, Shuri was waiting.
She stood like sheâd been pacing with her eyes trained on the floorâ but when you appeared, her head snapped up. Okoye was beside her, and even her usual perfect posture had softened.
âIâm sorry,â Shuri said the moment your eyes met, brittle at the edges. âFor giving Bucky your location.â
You let out a deep breath and a sad smile ghosted across your face. âDonât be.â
âHe said there was a threat,â she shook her head, stepping closer. âAnd he wasnât wrong. But I didnât know it would endâŠ. like this. I thought I was helping.â Her voice broke slightly. âI thought I was giving you back something youâd lost.â
You shook your head. âYou werenât wrong.â
She didnât look at all startled by thatâ as if she knew whatever hole had been carved into you by the loss of Wakanda had immediately been filled by Bucky coming back into your life, by the rest of the team that you found.Â
âEvery time I hit a wall,â you said, just above a whisper. âI throw myself into work and pretend I donât need anyone.â Your voice cracked open without permission like a dam that had held too long.
âBut maybeâŠâ You glanced down, then up at her. âMaybe itâs time I stop pushing away the people who love me. Maybe itâs time I meet them halfway and let them care for me.â You took her hand, âlike you do.â
Shuri stared at you like sunlight through storm cloudsâ equal parts pride and heartbreak.
âBucky cares,â she said. âDo not let each other slip away this time.â
âHe is better,â she said, almost approvingly. âHe has learned how to breathe without you. Perhaps it is precisely the reason you need him again. And he might just remind you that life is not all about survival and contractsâ it is meant to be lived.â
You tried to blink away the sudden sting in your eyes. âOkoyeâŠâ you managed.
She raised a finger in warning. âDo not make me cry, girl.â
That startled a snorting laugh from Shuri.
You smiled. Just a little.
â
Two days later, Bucky helped you move into Avengers Tower.
He smiled sadly when he spotted your duffel bag on the curb beside a single, battered box.
âThatâs it?â he asked, easily lifting the box labeled in your unmistakable handwriting: SENTIMENTAL SHIT.
You raised an eyebrow. âYou expected me to have more emotional baggage?â
He let out a small laugh, missing your sense of humour. âI meant literal baggage. ButâŠâ he glanced down at the label, the corner of his mouth twitching, ââŠnoted.â
You fell into step beside him, entering the still-mostly-empty tower. The echo of your footsteps followed you down halls that smelled like fresh paint and industrial cleaner. A few rooms were already occupiedâBobâs, Avaâs, and an unnamed office spaceâbut yours was at the far end of the residential floor: a bit secluded, sunlit, and overlooking New York in a way that felt almost too generous.
You dropped your duffel onto the bed with a sigh. He set the box on the desk and stood back, studying in the space like he was mentally filing it away for future reference.
âYou alright?â he asked softly.
You shrugged, arms crossing out of reflex. âI guess. Feels⊠weird.â
âWhat does?â
âLiving out of Wakanda.â You glanced at him. âItâs even weirder being around you like this.â
âLike what?â
âFriends,â you said, with a smile that didnât quite reach your eyes. âThatâs what we are now, right?â
âI guess so.â He gave a gentle laugh, scratching the back of his head. âFriends who know exactly how the other one likes their coffee.â
You smiled for real then. âFriends who have seen each other naked. And cry. And leave.â
His voice was quieter now. âAnd come back.â
â
Two days later, the tower was silent after midnight.
It didnât feel like a base yetâmore like a draft of a memoryâ place still deciding what it wanted to be. The lights in the common room were dimmed to an amber gold. Somewhere down the hall, a ventilation unit clicked and sighed like an old house learning how to breathe again.
You couldnât sleep.
Youâd unpacked your bag. Stacked your few books with spines you knew by heart. Hung your jacket on the back of the door and lined up your toiletries with mathematical precision, like symmetry might trick your brain into believing this was home.
But your body didn't buy it yet, So you wandered barefoot down the hallway in an oversized sweatshirtâthe same one Bucky had given you all those years ago.
You found him in the common room, curled into one corner of the couch, damp hair curling at the ends from a recent shower and mug of tea cradled between his metal fingers,
He looked up when he saw you. âYou too, huh?â
âSleep is a myth,â you said, plopped onto the cushion beside him.Â
He handed you the mug. You didnât hesitate before sippingâ he used to share drinks with you all the time. The tea was warm, chamomile and honey, just the way you used to make it for him when he couldnât sleep.
You let the heat sink into your palms for a few seconds longer than necessary before handing it back.
âThis place is too clean,â you said at last.Â
Bucky nodded. âWonât be for long. Alexei just moved in. Give it two days before something explodes.â
You snorted. âI give it twelve hours.â
That made him laugh, as he leaned his head back against the couch cushion and looked up, like he could see constellations through the ceiling. You looked at him and, for a second, you imagined you were both back in his hut again, painting stars on the ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stickers and half a bottle of wine.
âRemember that night by the river?â you asked.
His eyes flicked to yours. âThe one after Tâchallaâs birthday dinner?â
You smiled. âYeah. We dragged the blankets out and tried to sleep under the open sky. You brought out your old army jacket. I stole your pillow.â
He didnât say anything for a second. Slowly, he reached out, brushing his fingertips across yours.Â
â
The next few months passed easily.
You and Bucky slipped back into some old habits. Mornings were for training. Afternoons often ended in sparring sessions and conversation. And in the hours in between, you found each other again and againâ sometimes late night tea. Sometimes, you'd leave a book by your door. Sometimes, heâd put in your favourite movie after a stressful day. He never made a big deal out of it, and neither did you. It wasnât discussed. It simply was.
Of course, the team noticed.
Ava, subtle as a brick, started running a betting pool in the group chat on who would initiate getting back together. She never said who the odds favored, but winked at you every time you entered a room with Bucky in tow.
John grumbled about âweird tensionâ on mission briefings, mostly because he lost his first bet. Even Bobâ still learning how to survive in a household of ex-spies, assassins, and super-soldiersâpicked up on it. One morning over coffee, he glanced at you, then at Bucky, then said, completely unprompted, âYou breathe easier when heâs around.â
You blinked at him, stunned. He just sipped his coffee and went back to his crossword.
But the real kicker came at breakfast, a few weeks later.
You were barely awake, slouched at the long kitchen island in the tower. Bucky sat beside you, reading news with a tablet in hand.
Yelena walked in, grabbed a banana, and without hesitation said, âSo. When are you two getting back together?â
You nearly choked on your tea. Bucky froze mid-scroll. You coughed for a solid ten seconds before managing, hoarsely, âIâwhat?â
Yelena leaned on the counter. âPlease. The movie nights? The sparring together all the time? You are basically together.â
Bucky cleared his throat. âWeâre⊠talking. Taking it slow.â
Yelena squinted at him like he was the worldâs worst liar. âSlow like friends slow, or slow like âyou slept in her room after the Prague mission and thought no one noticedâ slow?â
You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. Bucky stared at the ceiling like he was considering defenestration.
âIâI didnâtâwe didnâtââ you stammered.
âShe had a nightmare,â Bucky said valiantly. âI stayed in her armchair.â
Yelena raised her eyebrows. âHow noble. Youâll be married by June.â
And with that, she bit into her banana and walked out as if she hadnât just casually set your entire life on fire before 8 a.m.
You stared at the doorway for a long time before turning to Bucky. âWe are never living that down.â
He smiled, just a little. âSheâs not wrong, though.â
You tilted your head. âAbout what?â
He shrugged. âAbout the slow part not really being all that slow anymore.â
That shut you up, but not in a bad way.
â
The day it had finally happened, though, youâd been in the towerâs comms room, backlit by flickering screens, teeth clenched as you watched the mission feed buffer and skip. Bucky and John were on the field on recon and containment. It should be routine. No reason to worry.
You told yourself it was fine. You knew Bucky could handle himself. Youâd said it a hundred times.
But then the feed glitched again. Then John mentioned gunfire and Buckyâs comms went dark.
The jet returned fifteen minutes later, skidding onto the landing pad. You were already waiting there when they brought him in.
Bucky.
His combat suit was torn, blood soaking through the thigh, gashes deep in his side. His vibranium arm was scorched, still hissing faintly from an energy blast. And yet⊠he was awake. Breathing. He gave you a small smile, somehow, even when the poor nurse wheeled him into the med bay. You ran to follow
He couldâve died. And you werenât there.
Thatâs when you saw John.
âYou were supposed to watch his six!â you shouted at him before you could even register how much you meant them. âDo you even know what a field partner does, or do you just wing it and hope the super soldiers heal fast enough?â
John blinked, surprised. âJesus, I didnâtââ
âDonât!â you snapped. âYou were with him! He had your backâwhere the hell were you?â
âHe told me to take the high ground!â John barked, his voice rising. âI didnât know they had long-range fire!â
âItâs literally your job to know!â Your skin felt like they were on fire now. âDo you even remember the brief? You think because heâs got the Hydra serum he can take every shot for you?â
âHey.âYou heard Bucky say from the bed behind you. âRelax.â
Your head snapped toward him. âRelax?â
He half-winced as a doctor pulled a bullet fragment from his thigh. His breathing was shallow, but the corner of his mouth tugged upward in dry amusement
âYeah. Relax. Youâre doing that thing.â
You narrowed your eyes. âWhat thing?â
âYou sound like me back in the day,â he managed to say, letting his head fall back on the pillow. âGod. The role reversalâs kinda scary.â
And just like that, you shut up.
He did used to do this. When you were still together. When it was you on the field and him pacing the halls of the palace like a caged wolf. Every bruise you got, he catalogued. Every mission report, he read twice. When you brushed off injuries, heâd pull you aside and look at you like you'd died and no one told him.
And now here you were, standing over him, boiling over like your heart had been under for years.
âItâs different,â you whispered under your breath. âYou were obsessed.â
Bucky opened his eyes again, squinting slightly. âWhat?â
You could hear the beeping of monitors overwhelming you. You could taste the metallic tang of blood and antiseptic. âYou were obsessed,â you said, a bit louder, âIâm freaking out over bullets. You used to freak out over a scratch.â
He gave a nod, not flinching. âYeah. I know.â He shrugged. âWasnât healthy. But I cared.â But then his tone shifted. âAnd you donât get to talk to John like that.â
You took a step back, caught off-guard. âAre you serious?â
âHeâs not perfect,â he said, matter-of-fact.
âWow,â John interjected under his breath, âThanks.âÂ
Bucky paid him no mind âBut he tried. This wasnât on him.â
You pressed your fingers into your temple, trying to breathe. âI know, I justâI didnât know what else to do, Buck.â
You looked at him then, and all the fire in your chest dimmed into ash. He looked⊠tired. Older. Stronger, too. But there was something in his eyesâsome flicker of the man you left behind.Â
Bucky glanced toward John. âGive us the room when theyâre done, yeah?â
John, for once, didnât argue. He just nodded and backed out, probably relieved.
The door shut with a hiss, and you waited until the doctors had finished stitching him up and giving him the okay to rest before you walked back to his side, a little more tired, a little more human.
You sat on the edge of the bed. Your hand found his immediately, as if it was instinct. His skin was warm and he smelled like bullets and iron, the way it always got when heâd been running on too much adrenaline and too little self-preservation.
âIs this okay?â you asked, voice barely more than a whisper.
He nodded before reaching for you with both hands in that familiar, greedy way he always used to, like he couldn't stand another second without you touching. âCâmere,â he said.
So you climbed carefully onto the too-small mattress beside him, your body curving into his like muscle memory. You avoided the bruised side, settling in close with your head tucked beneath his chin, just where it used to belong. His wrapped his arm around you.
Your palm rested over his chest, right above his heart. It beat steady, and you wondered if it ever really stopped beating for you.
He breathed in your hair. "You always smell like home," he whispered, so quiet you almost missed it.
You watched the little cuts and bruises heal on their own, bit by bit. His lashes fluttered like he was teetering on the edge of sleep â then opened again, just to make sure you were still there.
You stayed tucked beneath his chin for a long while. Eventually, you spoke, your voice muffled into his chest. âI didnât mean to scream at Walker,â you said with a small laugh. âOr be⊠so overbearing. Like you used to be.â You peeked up at him with a sideways smile. âFunny, right?â
Bucky chuckled. âI deserved that,â he smiled, rubbing slow circles against your back with his human thumb
You swallowed, then pulled away just enough to look at him properly.
âI justâŠâ You hesitated, choosing your words carefully, like they mattered. Because they did. âFor the first time in a long time, work isnât the most important thing to me.â You reached up and gently brushed your fingers along the edge of the bruise on his cheeks. âYou are.â
âI know,â he said, voice rough. âAnd I⊠I just wanted you to know I never stop caring â just didnât know how to care right.â
You both laughed a little at that â sad and sweet, like the punchline to a very old joke.
âRemember that time you hacked into a satellite feed because I missed one check-in?â you teased, smirking.
Bucky groaned, his cheeks turning pink. âOkay, first of all, it was a tactical recon satellite, I didnât hack it, I borrowed a login.â
âOh, that makes it better,â you said, eyes sparkling. âYou bribed MâBaku with a reservation at a two Michelin Star vegan restaurant just because I didnât text âsafeâ fast enough.â
âI was worried,â he shook his head, then, quieter, âYou didnât answer for four hours.â
âI know,â Your brows relaxed again. âI know you were trying to love me. I just⊠couldnât let myself be loved like that back then.â
Bucky reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. âAre you now?â
You smiled, eyes filling up with a puddle of tears.âWell,â you said, voice a little wobbly, âOnly if we meet halfway.â
He smiled, and god, it was like the sun rose just for you.
âOkay,â he agreed, leaning in until you could taste the air he breathed.
Just before your lips touched, he stopped. âYou sure?â he asked, looking down at your lips.
Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he could feel it through your chest.
You nodded. âIâm sure.â
He didnât move yet.
âYou sure youâre sure?â he whispered, voice lower now. His fingers had tightened just slightly at your waist, anchoring you there,but he just needed to give you one last chance to run â but you didnât take it.
âBuckyâŠâ you whispered, and the way you said his name answered everything for him.
âOkay,â he said, more a sigh than a word. âOkay.â
Then he kissed you.
It was heat and hunger that only two people who had been starved of each other, whoâd tasted what it was like to be apart and never wanted to go back could feel. His mouth claimed yours like he needed to make sure you were his and you kissed him back just as fiercely, just as desperate to prove that you were.
You curled your fingers into the collar of his tac vest, pulling him closer, and he groaned against your lips. His metal hand slid up your back, and his other hand cupped your cheek and pulled you closer
And he kept saying it between kisses, like a litany, âYouâre sure?â
You answered with another kiss. Deeper now, borderline bruising.
âYouâre sure?â he asked again
âIâm sure.â Your lips parted on a gasp, and you nodded, forehead pressed to his. âIâm so sure, Buck, Iâ I never stoppedââ
His mouth was on yours again before you could finish, and it didnât matter. His thumb traced your cheek like he was re-learning you all over again, when he realized he still remembered all the ways you liked to be kissed. When you finally pulled back, breathless, he looked at you like youâve been to hell and back for him.
âGod, I missed this,â he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. âI missed you so bad, doll.â
You smiled, blinking back the tears that werenât sad at all. âI missed you worse.â
He grinned, all wrecked and completely in love.
You kissed again, gentler this time, remembering how good it felt to be known by each other again.
Which was exactly when the door slid open with a cheerful whoosh.
ââBucky! I was gonna check onâoh,â came Alexeiâs voice, suddenly flat as pancake batter left too long on the griddle.
You froze, lips still an inch from Buckyâs. Your heart leapt straight into your throat, and you turned slowly toward the door, horror across both your faces.
Alexei stood there, blinking once, before giving the slowest nod known to man. His hands were crossed on his chest, looking too smug for his own good.
âWell,â he said, dragging his voice out. âWell. Iâm going to tell team it finally happened!â
Bucky let out the deepest, most resigned sigh imaginable and let his head thunk back against the pillow. âCan you please wait until Iâm discharged?â
âNonsense!â Alexei said brightly, already halfway down the hallway. âAva owes me twenty American dollars. And John will make that face. You know the one.â
You groaned and buried your face in Buckyâs chest, playfully mortified.Â
âBack then,â he chuckled, lips brushing your hair, âI would've fought him for interrupting.â
You peeked up at him, âAnd now?â
He smiled. âNow Iâm just glad youâre here.â
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summary | everything in westview is exactly as it should beâexcept for the moments when it isnât, and bucky barnes seems to be the only one who notices.
tags | (18+) MDNI, Explicit Sexual Content, unprotected sex, p in v sex, fingering, oral sex (f!receiving), 1950s aesthetic, wandavision au, hex reality (wandavision), domestic fluff, subtle foreshadowing, light comedy, neighborly shenanigans, married couple dynamic (but itâs fake), brief language, mind manipulation, references to past trauma (winter soldier/hydra flashes)
a/n | yoh guys I just saw the time now. came home like 30 minutes ago, and then I was chatting to my mom. cause her and my stepdad went out on a date then brought me some steak homeđ so now i'm chowing lekker.
and I swear nothing will ever be as humbling as sprinting for the bus, sigh, just another reminder how unfit I am, though my body is tea, don't play.
taglist | if you wanna be added to my bucky barnes masterlist just add your username to my âDon't Wake Meâ taglist
likes comments and reblogs are much appreciated âšâš
It poured in through the thin lace curtains like honey, casting soft shadows across the hardwood floor. For a moment, Bucky lay still beneath the sheets, eyes squinting against the glow, trying to convince his body it wasnât still dreaming.
Something felt offânot wrong, exactly, just unfamiliar in the way a battlefield went silent before the first shot. His chest rose and fell with slow, steady breaths, but his muscles stayed tight beneath the surface. Sleep clung to him like fog.
His left hand shifted against the blankets. Bare skin. Smooth. His brow furrowed.
There was nothing wrong with his arm.
That thought came quick and sharp, like it had been waiting for him. Nothing wrong with it. But⊠shouldnât there be?
Bucky lifted his hand into the light, turning it slightly, watching how the sun caught the gold ring wrapped around his finger. A simple band. No inscription. Just warm metal, glinting against his skin.
His throat tightened without reason. He stared at the ring for a long moment, his chest going tight, lungs slow to expand.
He didnât remember putting it on.
And yet⊠it didnât feel unfamiliar. That was the worst part. It felt like it belonged thereâlike it had always been there. Like whoever had slid it onto his finger had done so gently, looking at him with something soft in their eyes.
Bucky blinked and pushed the thought away, rubbed at his face, and sat up. The sheets rustled as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, bare feet brushing against the cool floorboards.
Everything in the room looked like it had been plucked from a catalogâmid-century furniture, matching lamps, soft yellow wallpaper patterned with white roses. Neat. Peaceful.
Wrong, something in him whispered. But he ignored it.
The clock on the wall ticked too loudly. He glanced at it without really seeing the time, then stood and made his way toward the bathroom, sleep still tugging at his limbs.
The mirror greeted him with a face that felt too clean. Hair neatly trimmed, jaw freshly shaven. No bruises. No blood. No scars. His reflection stared back like it belonged in a postcard, not a war.
He peeled off the undershirt heâd slept in and stepped into the shower. Hot water ran down his back, steam curling around the tiles. He washed automatically, not thinking. Just moving. Like muscle memory. Like someone elseâs routine.
And still, that ring stayed on his finger.
He dressed without thinking. Undershirt first, then the crisp button-down hanging neatly from the bedroom door. The fabric felt stiff and starched, the kind of thing he imagined he'd once complained about, but today he didnât mind it.
His fingers fumbled slightly with the buttons, like he wasnât quite used to the fine motor movements. The tie gave him more troubleâtoo loose at first, then too tight, the knot sitting slightly crooked at the collar. He stared at it for a second, debating whether to fix it, but decided against it. It didnât seem to matter.
The house was quiet when he opened the bedroom door, the floor creaking softly beneath his feet as he moved down the hallway. He could hear a soundâfaint at first, then clearer the closer he got.
Humming.
Light, tuneful. Unhurried. Like whoever it belonged to had been up for hours already, in no rush at all. It reached him just as the smell didâbacon, eggs, something warm and familiar. The scent hit him low in the chest, spreading like something he couldnât name.
He didnât think. He just followed it.
The closer he got to the kitchen, the heavier the feeling becameânot dread, not exactly, but something like anticipation. Like he already knew what he was going to find but needed to see it anyway. The hallway opened into the kitchen slowly, and for a moment he stood just beyond the frame, quiet.
There you were.
Back turned to him, working at the stove in a soft house dress that caught the morning light like it had been made for it. Hair pinned loosely off your neck, one hand steadying a skillet, the other moving with ease.
There was a vase of fresh flowers, lilies maybe, on the table, petals too perfect to be real. A small green plant on the sill above the sink leaned slightly toward where you stood, as if reaching.
You turned at the sound of his step, a smile already in placeâbright, familiar, like it belonged to someone heâd known forever.
âThere you are,â you said softly, as if he was late for something, as if this was a morning like any other.
And Bucky, who still wasnât sure where he was, or why the air tasted too sweet, or why everything felt a half-step off from real, could only manage one thing.
He smiled back.
You crossed the kitchen in soft steps, the hem of your dress swaying just above your knees, smile still warm as your hands found their place around his neck. Bucky didn't flinch, didn't question it. His arms slid around your waist like he'd done it a hundred times before.
You leaned in, brushing your lips over his in a slow, familiar kissâthe kind that didnât need heat or urgency, just the comfort of knowing exactly where you belonged. He closed his eyes as your mouth lingered against his, letting the quiet press of it settle the last of his nerves.
âMorning,â you murmured against his lips, your voice still sleep-soft. âHowâd you sleep?â
He took a breath before answering, your fingers gently combing through the hair at the nape of his neck.
âGood,â he said, the word catching slightly in his throat. âJust⊠woke up a little confused. You werenât there.â
You pulled back just enough to look at him, one brow lifting in something like amusement, but not mocking. âIâve been up a while,â you said, brushing a piece of hair away from his forehead. âDidnât want to wake you. You looked peaceful.â
âRight,â he said, forcing a small laugh that felt too hollow for how calm the morning was. âGuess I just forgot.â
You didnât ask what he meant. You didnât need to. You kissed him again instead, slower this time, your lips moving with intention. And for a moment, Bucky let himself stop thinking. Let the warmth of your body, the smell of bacon and coffee, the hush of the houseâall of itâpull him back into the dream.
You pulled back slowly, just far enough to look at him again, your hands still resting against the sides of his neck. One thumb brushed along his jaw, then higherâsoftly tracing the space between his brows where a faint furrow had settled.
âWhatâs that look for?â you asked, voice gentle. âYou okay?â
Bucky hesitated. He didnât really know how to answer that. The images from his dreamâif thatâs what it wasâwere already slipping through his fingers like water. Flashes of dust. The echo of metal hitting metal. Screams. Cold.
He cleared his throat, offered a small, awkward smile.
âI think I had a strange dream,â he said after a beat. âSomething with aliens, I think.â
You tilted your head, amused, and gave him a light tap on the shoulder as you turned back to the stove.
âThatâs what you get for watching those silly pictures with Sam and Steve,â you said, clicking your tongue. âI told you Invasion of the Body Snatchers would get into your head.â
Bucky smiled faintly, resting his hands on the back of one of the kitchen chairs.
âYeah, well⊠how could I say no? Sam insisted.â
âI bet he did,â you said, glancing at him over your shoulder. âAnd Steve probably nodded along like he knew what it was about.â
He smiled, softer now, his fingers absently toying with the edge of his sleeve.
âGuess I shouldâve listened to you.â
âYou should always listen to me.â
There was no bite to the wordsâjust warmth, easy and familiar. And with that, the last edge of the dream slipped a little further away.
He was just starting to settle in his chair when something else caught his attentionâa new scent in the air, tucked just behind the bacon and coffee.
Sweet. Tart.
His gaze shifted instinctively toward the counter, and there it wasâperched on a cooling rack like it belonged in a magazine ad: a freshly baked cherry pie, crust golden and flaky, the filling just beginning to bubble at the edges. He could smell the cinnamon mixed in. His mouth actually watered.
He stood up slowly, eyes narrowing like he was trying to scope out the best approach.
âWhenâd you have time to bake a cherry pie?â he asked, already drifting toward it.
You didnât turn around, but he saw the way your shoulders movedâsubtle, like youâd been waiting for him to notice it. Just as his hand reached out toward the pie, you cut in without missing a beat.
âAh-ah. Don't you dare.â
He froze, caught mid-reach like a kid sneaking a cookie.
âThatâs not for you,â you said, finally glancing back at him with a pointed look. âItâs for the new neighbors.â
Bucky blinked, confused. âWhat new neighbors?â
You gave a little huff, returning to the stove.
âI told you about them. Wanda and Vision? They just moved in across the street.â
He tilted his head, expression twisting. âWhat kind of name is Vision?â
You turned, spatula still in hand, and swatted him lightly on the shoulder with the back of it.
âBe nice.â
âI am beinâ nice,â he muttered, rubbing his arm. âJust sounds like a stage name or somethinâ.â
You ignored that, moving to plate up the eggs and bacon like nothing happened, but Bucky wasnât finished giving the pie a longing look. He slouched back into his chair, one arm resting across the back of it, watching you with half a grin.
âJust sayinâ⊠you make a pie like that and give it to someone else, I might start takinâ it personal.â
You slid a plate in front of him with practiced easeâeggs, bacon, toast, all still steaming. He muttered a âthanks, doll,â before reaching for the fork, but you cut in before he could take a bite.
âNat and I were thinking of dropping by later,â you said casually. âBe neighborly. Bring over the pie, introduce ourselves to Wanda.â
Bucky paused mid-bite, chewing slowly as he side-eyed you over the rim of his coffee cup.
âYou and Nat,â he repeated. âGonna go be nice to someone.â
You arched a brow. âYeah. That a problem?â
He set his cup down, leaning back in his chair. âI just think the words Nat and nice donât really belong in the same sentence is all.â
You narrowed your eyes at him, but it was half-heartedâmore amused than annoyed.
âThatâs my friend, James.â
He smirked. âYeah, and unfortunately sheâs married to my friend. So now I gotta deal with her twice as much.â
You gave a soft scoff, folding your arms loosely across your chest.
âSheâs sweet when she wants to be.â
âSheâs mean when she wants to be too,â Bucky shot back, grinning around another forkful of eggs.
You didnât deny it, just shook your head and turned back toward the sink. Bucky watched you for a beat, the way your dress moved with each step, how the morning sun kept catching the little strands of hair that had slipped free from your pin.
Everything looked right. Felt right.
And yet, in the back of his mind, there was still that one nagging itchâlike heâd forgotten something important, something big. But when you moved past him again and your hand brushed his shoulder, it faded.
He finished the last bite, leaned back in his chair with a sigh, and patted his stomach like a man who had no business going to work after a meal like that.
âWell,â he said, pushing his chair back with a soft scrape of wood against floorboards, âguess I oughta head to the office. Be back âround six.â
He stood, walking over to the door and reaching for his coat off the hook near the door, but before he could get too far, you stepped in front of himâhands already reaching for his collar. He stilled as you smoothed down the fabric, fingers adjusting his tie with practiced ease.
âCrooked again,â you murmured, brow furrowed in disapproval.
Buckyâs gaze didnât move from your face. âYou sure it ainât just my neckâs crooked?â
You gave a soft laugh, brushing a bit of lint off his lapel. âNo, handsome. Iâd know.â
He watched you with quiet amusement, his voice dropping just a bit as he added, âYou always fix me up before I leave?â
âEvery morning,â you said, stepping back just slightly to admire your work. âAnd every morning, you leave it a mess by lunchtime.â
Bucky gave a lopsided grin. âWhat can I say? I fall apart without you.â
âOh, is that right?â
ââCourse. You tie my tie, I eat real food, I remember where my damn shoes are. Youâre basically holdinâ the whole operation together.â
You tilted your chin up, giving him a look that was half flirt, half challenge. âWell, itâs nice to know Iâm appreciated.â
His grin widened.
âYouâre more than appreciated, doll,â he said, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips.
But then another followed. And anotherâslow, drawn-out, his hand resting lightly on your waist as if he might just forget about the whole "going to work" part of the morning.
You huffed softly against his mouth, mumbling, âBucky, youâre gonna be late.â
âWorth it.â
You laughed again, nudging him gently toward the door.
âGo on, before I keep you here for lunch, too.â
He raised a brow, clearly not opposed to that option. âThat a threat or a promise?â
You pushed his chest with both hands, laughing. âGo.â
He kissed your cheek one last time before finally backing toward the door, still smiling. As he opened it, a rush of sunlight spilled insideâand for just a second, something about it made him pause.
But he didnât linger. He just gave you one last wink over his shoulder.
âSix oâclock, doll.â
And then he was gone.
The screen door creaked softly as Bucky stepped out onto the porch, the morning sun already casting a golden hue across the street.
The air smelled like freshly cut grass and laundry hanging out to dry. He paused on the top step and took a slow breath, rolling his shoulders back as if he could stretch off whatever was still clinging to him from that weird dream.
Peaceful. Quiet. Too quiet, maybe.
He started down the walkway, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt as he glanced across the street. Thatâs when he saw her.
Mrs. Donnelly, the sweet old woman from two houses downâthe one who always wore pearls and carried around those little hard candies that stuck together in her purse. She was in her front yard, as usual, tending to her rosebushes in a floral-print housecoat.
Only⊠she wasnât moving.
Shears in hand, frozen mid-prune. One arm stretched toward a blossom, the other holding the stem in place. Her smile was wide, too wide, and didnât flicker. Didnât falter.
Bucky stopped at the edge of his walkway, eyes narrowing slightly.
âMorning, Mrs. Donnelly,â he called out.
Nothing.
His brows pinched. He cleared his throat, tried again, voice dipping with the smallest thread of hesitation. âHeyâMrs. Donnelly, you all right over there?â
For a second, there was no response. No movement. No breeze. The street might as well have held its breath.
Thenâshe blinked. Shifted. Her shears snipped through the rose stem cleanly, and she turned with that same bright, polite smile she always had.
âOh, good morning, dear!â she called, waving the clippers casually in her hand. âLovely day, isnât it?â
Bucky stared a moment longer, jaw working slightly.
âYeah,â he said slowly. âYeah, it is.â
He kept walking, shoes crunching lightly on the gravel as he made his way toward the sidewalk, not looking back. He didnât want to think too hard about it.
Probably just his imagination. Maybe the heat. Or leftover nerves from that dream.
He kept telling himself that all the way down the driveway.
The door had only just clicked shut behind Bucky when you glanced at the clock on the wall and pressed your lips into a small, satisfied line.
8:57 a.m. Right on schedule.
You smoothed your dress, checked the pie on the counter for any signs of imperfections (none, of course), and laid a folded dish towel neatly over the top.
Ten minutes later, the knock came.
You opened the front door with one hand on your hip and a sweetâif mildly exasperatedâsmile already on your face.
âYouâre late.â
Natasha Rogers stood on the step looking completely unfazed in a smart mint green blouse and matching pencil skirt. Her red hair was perfectly curled, sunglasses perched low on her nose like she hadnât a care in the world.
She quirked one brow. âYouâre just early. As always.â
You stepped aside to let her in, tsking softly as she breezed past. âBeing punctual is a virtue, you know.â
âSo is not baking for people you havenât met yet,â she replied, peering toward the kitchen. âDid you really make a pie?â
You lifted the towel to show her.
âCherry. Itâs cheerful.â
âOf course it is.â
Nat leaned on the counter, arms crossed. âI still donât get why you insist on being the neighborhood welcome committee.â
You tilted your head, giving her a patient smile as you carefully arranged the pie on a dish.
âWell, someoneâs got to make a good first impression. And you and I could do with some more pleasant company. Sheâs our age, Nat. Married. Quiet.â
Nat tapped her nails against the counter, unimpressed. âMarried doesnât mean normal. Could be hiding a cult in her basement.â
You gave her a look over your shoulder. âNat.â
She shrugged. âIâm just saying.â
You set the pie down with a bit more determination than usual.
âWeâre being polite,â you said simply. âAnd besides, it wouldnât hurt you to smile once in a while.â
âI am smiling,â she muttered, deadpan. âOn the inside.â
You laughed, nudging her arm as you headed for the door.
âYou keep showing up at my house. Deep down, you like this.â
âDeep down, I might need a hobby,â she replied, opening the door for you. âLetâs go deliver your pie before I say something truly neighborly.â
You stepped outside into the golden morning, sunshine warming your skin as the pie cradled gently in your hands.
âJust be nice,â you said lightly.
âNo promises.â
You and Nat stepped up onto the tidy porch, your heels clicking against the painted boards. Everything about the house looked just rightâflower boxes bursting with color, a freshly swept welcome mat, wind chimes tinkling softly in the breeze.
You adjusted the pie in your hands and gave Nat a pointed look.
She adjusted her sunglasses. âStill time to run.â
You ignored her, and knocked gently on the door.
It opened almost instantly.
Wanda stood there in a neatly pressed house dress, soft curls pinned back just so, and a smile so practiced it looked like it had been rehearsed in front of a mirror. Her lipstick was a perfect shade of cherry red, her apron spotless, and her eyes warmâbut not quite relaxed.
âHi!â you said brightly. âIâm your neighborâjust across the street. I thought Iâd come by and say welcome.â
You held out the pie carefully, and Wandaâs face lit up like youâd handed her a trophy.
âOh, how thoughtful! Cherry pie! Isnât that just the most darling thing?â she said, taking the dish like it weighed nothing at all. âYou didnât have to do that.â
âOh, itâs no trouble at all,â you said, brushing a hand over your skirt. âI figured itâs always nice to meet a friendly face. And this is my friendââ
âNatasha,â Nat said, stepping forward just enough, offering a short smile. âI live around the corner. Sort of.â
Wanda beamed. âItâs so nice to meet both of you! Iâve been meaning to get out and say hello, but with all the unpacking and Vision starting at the office, things have been just a touch hectic.â
Her laugh was soft and musical, but it didnât quite reach her eyes.
You smiled anyway, trying to set the tone. âWe wonât keep you longâjust wanted to say welcome and offer a slice of something sweet in case you havenât had time to settle in yet.â
âOh, you are just the sweetest thing,â Wanda said, clasping the pie to her chest for a moment. âI swear, people around here are just so charming. Isnât that right?â
She glanced briefly past you, as if expecting someone else to be standing behind you. But there was no one there.
Nat shifted slightly beside you. You could feel her eyes on the back of your head.
âWell,â you said, recovering smoothly, âweâre glad youâre here. If you ever need anything at allâflour, sugar, a woman to vent toâyou know where to find us.â
Wandaâs smile softened just a little.
âIâll be sure to take you up on that. But, please, come in,â Wanda said, stepping back from the doorway with the pie still cradled in her arms. âItâs just me this morningâVisionâs at work, of course.â
âOf course,â you echoed with a pleasant smile as you stepped inside, Nat trailing just behind.
The interior of the house looked like something out of a catalog. Everything matchedâpastel walls, matching floral curtains, a perfect set of porcelain figurines arranged above the fireplace. Even the couch cushions were fluffed just so. Not a speck of dust in sight.
You blinked.
âWow. Youâve settled in so quickly,â you said, stepping further into the living room. âYou two must be very efficient.â
Wanda let out a practiced little laugh. âWell, those boxes donât move themselves,â she said with a wink.
Nat raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
Wanda gestured for you both to sit. âCan I offer you ladies anything? Coffee? Lemonade?â
âOh no, we wonât stay long,â you said, sitting gracefully on the edge of the floral loveseat. âWe just wanted to check in and make sure you were getting along all right.â
âSo far, so good,â Wanda said, carefully setting the pie on a doily-covered sideboard. âItâs a lovely neighborhood. Very quiet. Peaceful.â
Nat dropped onto the armchair across from you, crossing one leg over the other. âSuspiciously peaceful, sometimes.â
You shot her a look.
Wanda just smiled, unbothered. âI do like the quiet. Vision and I came here for a fresh start.â
Nat glanced around the room. âWell, you definitely started fresh. This place looks like itâs been lived in for years.â
âDoesnât it?â Wanda said, clasping her hands in front of her. âWe wanted it to feel like home right away. Iâve always believed that if you want a perfect life, you have to make it for yourself.â
Something about the way she said it made your smile falterâjust slightly.
Still, you nodded. âThatâs a lovely way to put it.â
Wanda looked at you with something almost like recognition, her eyes narrowing just a little before smoothing back into a pleasant expression.
âAnd what about you two?â she asked. âHave you been in town long?â
Nat glanced at you, letting you take the lead.
âOh, we've been here for what feels like forever,â you said. âLong enough to know everyoneâs favorite pie flavor at least.â
Wanda laughed again. âWell, then Iâd say Iâm in excellent hands.â
âMore or less,â Nat muttered.
You gave her a warning nudge with your elbow. Wanda just tilted her head and smiled wider.
âIâm so glad you stopped by,â she said. âItâs nice to feel⊠welcomed.â
You nodded. âItâs what neighbors do.â
And for a moment, everything was stillâthree women sitting in a perfect living room, the morning sun casting long golden lines across the rug. Too still.
Then Wanda clapped her hands gently.
âWell! I wonât keep you any longer. But next time, youâll stay for coffee.â
You stood with a nod. âWeâd like that.â
As you and Nat made your way toward the door, you turned back with an easy smile, pie dish now resting on Wandaâs immaculate sideboard.
âOh, and by the wayâŠâ
Wanda tilted her head, still smilingâbut her eyes sharpened just a little, as if bracing herself.
You leaned in conspiratorially, lowering your voice just enough to sound like you were about to spill a real secret.
âWe know your secret.â
Wandaâs face didnât moveâbut the shift in her posture was immediate. Her fingers stiffened slightly where they rested against the doorknob. The smile stayed in place, but something behind her eyes flickeredâtight and uncertain.
Then you laughed.
âOhâno, donât worry,â you said quickly, waving a hand. âWeâre not exactly All-American girls either.â
Wanda blinked, that practiced smile slowly returning.
âNatâs a Soviet,â you said, tilting your head toward Nat. âBut don't tell anyone.â
âMmhm,â Nat added flatly. âStraight from the Motherland.â
Wanda blinked againâtwiceâbut you were still smiling.
âAnd me? Well⊠I doubt youâve even heard of where Iâm from.â You let out a light laugh, brushing it off like it was nothing. âHalf the time I canât even find it on a map myself.â
There was a momentâs pause, and then Wandaâs laugh chimed inâhigh and cheerful, if a little delayed.
âOh, wellâhow exotic!â she said, clasping her hands together like that made it all just darling. âIsnât that fun? All these little surprises in one neighborhood!â
You nodded cheerfully. âThatâs what makes life interesting.â
âSure does,â Nat muttered under her breath as she stepped outside.
Wanda followed you both to the door, waving pleasantly as you walked down the path.
âDo stop by again,â she called. âNext time, Iâll have something sweet ready for you!â
You waved back over your shoulder. âLooking forward to it!â
And that was that. Just a pleasant neighborly visit on a beautiful summer morning.
Nothing strange at all.
The office buzzed with a comfortable humâtypewriters clicking, phones ringing somewhere down the hall, a faint scent of aftershave and fresh coffee lingering in the air.
Bucky sat at his desk, trying to make sense of the dayâs paperwork. It looked simple enoughâjust columns of numbers and a lot of unnecessary carbon copiesâbut his mind kept drifting. Something about the room felt too polished, too bright. Every man wore a tie just slightly too tight, every laugh too well-timed.
Still, it was a job. He had a desk, a nameplate, and apparently a nine-to-five.
Across the room, Vision stood near the break table, a mug of coffee in hand and a furrow between his brows. His pressed shirt and tie were immaculate, not a wrinkle in sight, and yet he looked completely out of place. Like a man whoâd read about offices in a manual and was now trying to act the part.
He turned to the trio of men beside himâHerb, Norm, and Philâall gathered like clockwork for their morning chat.
Vision nodded subtly in Buckyâs direction. âForgive me, but⊠who are they?â
Phil followed Visionâs gaze across the office and let out a low whistle.
âNo way, Jose,â he said, nudging Norm with his elbow. âHeâs askinâ about them?â
Herb leaned in, whispering like he was telling Vision a classified secret. âThatâs Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson.â
âBig dogs,â Norm added. âUpper-deck guys. Sit at the front of the cafeteria, never wait in line at the vending machine. You get the idea.â
Vision blinked. âTheyâre⊠what, the popular ones?â
ââPopularâ is putting it mildly,â Norm said, adjusting his tie. âTheyâre the cool guys. You donât sit with them unless youâre invited. And if they do talk to you? Congratulationsâyouâve made it.â
Herb nodded sagely. âYou ever seen Wilson walk across the floor? Straight spine, jacket slung over his shoulder, not a care in the world.â
âMeanwhile, weâre over here filing memos about memo formatting,â Phil muttered.
Vision looked genuinely perplexed. âBut we all work the same job⊠donât we?â
âSure,â Norm said with a shrug. âBut thereâs the job, and then thereâs the ecosystem. Youâll learn.â
Across the room, Bucky looked up from his desk, feeling eyes on him. Vision froze mid-sip. Bucky gave a polite nod, faint smile in place, before turning back to his paperwork.
Herb elbowed Vision again. âYou see that? He nodded. Thatâs like a handshake from the president, pal.â
Vision blinked. âI⊠see.â
Vision turned back toward Buckyâs desk with a look of mild determination, brushing a non-existent wrinkle from his sleeve.
âWell,â he said brightly, âI suppose Iâll go introduce myself.â
Phil choked on his coffee. âNow hold on, letâs not be hasty.â
Herb threw up his hands. âWhoa, whoaâmaybe give it a year, Vision.â
Norm leaned in with urgency. âYou canât just walk up to them. Thatâs like trying to sit with the quarterback on the first day of school!â
But Vision was already walking.
Phil muttered, âGodspeed, brother.â
The three watched as Vision crossed the office floorâshoulders squared, tie still perfect, footsteps a little too deliberateâlike someone playing the part of a âconfident coworkerâ from a training video.
He stopped beside the trio of desks where Steve, Sam, and Bucky were reviewing a few blueprints.
âHello, gentlemen!â Vision said, too loudly. âI thought Iâd take the opportunity to introduce myself.â
Three heads turned. Steve smiled politely. Sam blinked. Bucky just tilted his head slightly.
âI donât believe weâve met,â Vision continued, extending a very stiff hand. âVision. Iâm new here. My wife and I just moved here to Westview.â
Buckyâs brow lifted. âVision?â
âYes.â
âYouâre the new neighbors, then,â Bucky said, shaking his hand with a light grip.
Visionâs posture lifted a bit. âThatâs me. Just moved in across the street. My wife, Wanda, and Iâlovely place, very⊠structured. Very normal.â
âMy wife baked your wife a cherry pie this morning,â Bucky said, smile pulling slightly at the corner of his mouth.
âOh, thatâs very kind of her!â Vision said with a bright smile.
âSheâs always bakinâ something,â Sam added. âPie, muffins⊠whatever that thing was with theâwhatâd she call it, Buck?â
âPeach crumble,â Bucky said. âShe gets restless if the kitchenâs too clean.â
Vision chuckled. âWell, do let her know I love cherry pie. Though I've never actually eaten it before.â
There was a pause.
Then, almost too quickly, Vision added, âMedical thing. Digestion. Complicated.â
Sam squinted at him. âWait⊠you love it, but you canât eat it?â
âYes,â Vision said, nodding far too fast. âItâs the idea of cherry pie that I find most⊠satisfying.â
Steve raised an eyebrow.
Vision cleared his throatâif only for effect. âSo. I just wanted to say hello. Lovely to meet all of you. Very normal. Very human introduction.â
There was another pause.
Then Bucky, bless him, just offered a small nod. âNice to meet you too.â
âLikewise,â Steve added smoothly, ever the diplomat.
Sam gave Vision a slow once-over, clearly amused. âYou⊠youâre all right, man.â
Vision smiled too widely, gave a double thumbs-up, and backed awayâliterally walking backward toward the break room, trying not to trip over his own feet.
As he passed the break table, Herb whispered to Phil, âHe didnât make it.â
Bucky had just gone back to his desk, settling into the rhythm of the office againâpen in hand, reviewing another set of neatly typed memosâwhen the pen slipped from his fingers.
He reached down to grab it.
The moment his fingers brushed the floorâ
Crack.
The overhead lights buzzed. Noânot the office lights. Different. Sharper. Like a crackling voltage in his ears.
His vision blurred for half a second.
And then he was somewhere else.
Cold concrete. Harsh fluorescent light. Screams muffled behind thick glass. Metal pressed to his back, restraints tight around his wrists. Russian. He could hear itââĐłĐŸŃĐŸĐČ Đș ĐŒĐžŃŃОО.â The sting of a needle in his neck. The echo of boots on steel.
Thenâgone.
He blinked hard.
He was back at his desk. The floor was just⊠the floor. His pen rested beside his shoe. The office around him buzzed along like nothing had happened. Phones ringing. Someone laughing at the break table.
Bucky sat up slowly, heart pounding, his shirt clinging a little too close to his skin. He glanced around. No one had noticed.
He cleared his throat, forcing himself to breathe through his nose.
Just a weird moment. A lapse. Probably nothing. Maybe heâd skipped breakfast. Maybe it was the coffee.
StillâŠ
As he adjusted his tie, his eyes drifted to the fluorescent lights above.
They buzzed softly. Steady. Innocent.
But for a split second, he couldâve sworn they sounded like electricity ripping through his skull.
The sun was setting by the time he walked up the steps of his front porch.
The street was quiet, porch lights flickering on one by one like starsâperfect, timed, like someone had painted them there. But the air still carried that weird static he couldnât shake. A feeling behind his ribs. Not fear. Not quite. Just⊠off.
He loosened his tie with one hand as he stepped inside, trying to breathe it out.
Then he smelled dinner.
Savory, rich, something roastedâherbs and butter and garlic. The kind of smell that belonged to a place you called home.
He stepped into the kitchen and found you already plating the food, apron still tied at your waist, your hair pinned loosely, humming to yourself. The table was setâcandles lit, soft music playing on the old radio tucked in the corner.
The moment you turned around and smiled at him, something in his chest gave way.
âHey, sweetheart,â you said, your voice already warming the cold corners of his day. âLong day?â
He exhaled through a half-laugh. âYou have no idea.â
You nodded toward the chair at the table. âSit. Eat first, talk later.â
He didnât argue. He couldnât.
The food tasted as good as it smelledâroast chicken, buttery potatoes, green beans still crisp. The kind of dinner no one had made for him in years. Or maybe ever.
And the whole time, you just⊠existed beside him. Refilling his glass. Rubbing his shoulder for a second when you passed behind him. Asking about his day, but not pushing when he didnât quite answer.
And it hit him all at once.
How much he wanted this. How much he needed it.
When the plates were cleared and you turned to rinse something at the sink, he didnât even think. He stood and came up behind you, arms slipping around your waist as he pressed a kiss to the side of your neck.
You laughed softly. âHeyâdish duty is yours tomorrow.â
âFine by me,â he murmured against your skin. âLong as this keeps happeninâ.â
Another kiss. Then one just behind your ear. Then your jaw.
âBuckyââ
He turned you toward him, your hands still warm from the dishwater, and kissed you properlyâslow, steady, like you were the only real thing heâd touched all day.
And maybe that was true.
He couldnât remember half the details of work. Couldnât explain the flicker of cold in the back of his mind or why the lights had made his head pound.
But thisâyour lips, your hands, your laugh against his mouthâthis made sense.
This was the part he understood.
You were still smiling when you pulled back, cheeks flushed just a little, hands still resting lightly on his chest.
âFinish up the kitchen for me,â you said softly, your voice carrying that same gentle lilt it always did when you were up to something. âThen come to the bedroom in five minutes.â
Bucky raised a brow, hands sliding down your sides. âOh yeah?â
You leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. âIâve got a surprise for you.â
That got his full attention. His grip tightened ever so slightly, eyes flicking between yours.
âYou canât just say somethinâ like that and walk away, doll.â
You slipped out of his arms with a grin, already backing toward the hallway, your fingers undoing the apron at your waist as you went.
âFive minutes, Barnes,â you said over your shoulder. âAnd not a second sooner.â
He stood there a moment longer, hands on his hips, watching the way your silhouette disappeared into the bedroom.
âClockâs already runninâ,â he muttered to himself, and turned toward the sink with a new sense of urgency.
And before he knew it, he was drying his hands on a dishtowel and checking the clock.
7:37 p.m.
Heâd waited exactly five minutes.
He moved quietly up the stairs, loosening the top button of his shirt as he went, his footsteps slow and deliberate. The hallway was dim, but as he reached the bedroom door, he pausedâbrows pulling slightly at the sight of flickering light seeping beneath the frame.
He pushed the door open.
The room was bathed in candlelight. Dozens of tiny flames glowed from the dresser, the windowsill, the nightstandâcasting golden light across the soft curve of your figure standing at the foot of the bed.
You turned toward him with a little smile and gave a gentle twirl, the hem of your new silk slip catching the air.
It was soft. Clinging. Just barely translucent in the low light, and absolutely not something meant to be worn for long.
âDo you like?â you asked, voice light, sweet, knowing exactly what you were doing.
He didnât speak.
Didnât have to.
His eyes swept over you slowly, like he was trying to memorize the way the light touched your skin. Then he noddedâslowly, dumblyâas his fingers found the second button of his shirt and slipped it loose.
Then another.
And another.
As he stepped closer, the candlelight caught the edge of his jaw, his voice low and just a little hoarse.
âYouâre gonna kill me, sweetheart.â
âThatâs the plan,â you murmured, voice low as your arms slid around his neck.
His shirt hung open now, barely clinging to his shoulders. Your body pressed flush to his chest, the silk of your slip catching against the heat of his skin. The thin fabric did little to separate you from himâyour covered breasts rising against his sternum with every breath, soft and warm, sending a quiet jolt through him.
His hands found your waist, fingers splaying gently over your hips like he needed to remind himself you were really there.
For a moment, he just looked at youâeyes dark, full of something tender and dangerous all at once. Then his forehead dropped to yours.
âYou drive me crazy, you know that?â he murmured.
You smiled, brushing your nose against his.
âI know.â
His hands slid slowly over your hips, then beneath the edge of the silk slipâfingers brushing over bare skin, warm and steady. He exhaled through his nose, and you felt it, soft against your cheek, just before his lips dipped to your neck.
The first kiss landed just below your ear, slow and deliberate.
Then another, lower.
Then anotherâopen-mouthed and warm, his tongue barely tasting your skin.
You hummed, head tipping to the side, one hand curling tighter at the back of his neck.
âBuckyâŠâ you breathed, voice barely more than a whisper.
He didnât answerâjust continued his slow trail downward, mouth grazing along the curve of your throat. His hands shifted higher beneath your slip, fingertips tracing the curve of your waist, thumbs stroking the soft flesh just beneath your ribs.
Buckyâs mouth found yours againâurgent this time, not rushed but certain, like he needed it. Like he couldnât stand the space between you any longer.
He kissed you deeply, hungrily, swallowing every soft sound you made before it could leave your lips. One hand cradled the back of your head, the other still beneath your slip, fingers sliding lower, down the curve of your hips and over your thighs.
You barely registered the shift in his stance before he lifted youâeffortless, like you weighed nothing in his arms.
But he didnât stop kissing you.
Not for a second.
His mouth stayed on yours even as he adjusted his grip, one hand cupping the back of your thigh, the other pressed firm against your spine, holding you to him like he didnât want to give you the chance to slip away.
Your legs wrapped around his waist without needing to be told.
And still, he kissed you.
Slow and deep, like he was trying to memorize the shape of your mouth, the taste of your breath, the way you trembled just slightly every time his tongue slid against yours.
Bucky's grip adjustedâsecure, carefulâhis lips still moving against yours as he took a few slow steps toward the bed, each one deliberate, like he didnât want to break the rhythm of the moment. His breath was warm and ragged against your mouth, and his hand splayed against your back, holding you close, like he couldnât bear to have even an inch between you.
As his knees brushed the edge of the mattress, he slowed, finally breaking the kissâbut only just enough to breathe.
You were both breathing harshly in the hush of the candlelit room.
âYâknowâŠâ he said, voice low and rough with that unmistakable Brooklyn drawl, âI ainât ever seen somethinâ as unfair as you in this thing.â
His eyes dropped to the slip you woreâclinging now to your frame, a little wrinkled from his touch, slightly askew from the way youâd pressed together. His thumb brushed under the strap at your shoulder.
âYou planned this whole night just to make me lose my mind, didnât you?â
You smiled, still breathless. âAnd if I did?â
Bucky huffed out a soft laugh, resting his forehead against yours.
âThen itâs workinâ, sweetheart.â
He kissed you againâslower this time. Deep, sure, with that quiet kind of desperation like he was trying to anchor himself. Like the dayâs static still lingered behind his eyes and the only way to shut it out was you.
His hands slid beneath your thighs again, and he lowered you down gently, laying you back against the soft sheets like you were something fragile.
But he didnât pull away.
Instead, he hovered above youâhis mouth still close, his hand brushing your cheek, then drifting down your neck, his calloused fingertips dragging fire over your skin.
âLook at you,â he whispered, half to himself. âDressed like a dream. Layinâ here like this⊠waitinâ for me.â
You reached up, curling your fingers into the open collar of his shirt.
âIâll always be waiting for you,â you whispered.
He swallowed hard at thatâjaw clenching slightly, like the words hit somewhere deepâand kissed you again, a low sound catching in his throat.
He then sat back on his heels for half a second, eyes raking over you like heâd just walked into the best damn surprise of his life.
Then he was stripping his shirt off in one smooth motion, tossing it somewhere he clearly didnât care about.
âBeen thinkinâ about this since you told me to wait downstairs,â he muttered, already working his belt open, the metal buckle clinking as it came loose.
You grinned, sitting up just a little. âFive whole minutes of suffering?â
âLongest five minutes of my life, doll.â
His slacks hit the floor, and he was on the bed a heartbeat later, knees sinking into the mattress as he grabbed you by the hips. âCâmere.â
You let him pull you toward him, his hands already sliding up your thighs, fingers curling into the hem of your slip.
âGonna unwrap you,â he said, voice low but not shy about the grin tugging at his mouth. âLike the best damn present I ever got.â
Before you could tease him back, he was bunching the silk higher, skimming it over your hips, up your sides, the fabric catching here and there on his calloused hands. You lifted your arms without thinking, and he yanked it over your head in one quick move, tossing it aside without looking.
âGod, look at you,â he said, leaning in to kiss you hard, already pushing you back onto the bed.
Buckyâs mouth stayed on yours, a little rough now, all teeth and heat, his hands already everywhere. One slid up your side, cupping your breast through your bra, thumb brushing over the fabric just to hear the sound you made. The other gripped your thigh, pulling it higher around his hip like he couldnât get you close enough.
âMissed you today,â he muttered against your mouth, his accent thicker now that he was half out of breath. âWhole damn time at work, thinkinâ about this⊠about you wearinâ somethinâ like that under my nose.â
You grinned into the kiss. âAnd what would you have done if Iâd shown up at your office like this?â
He groaned low in his throat, squeezing your thigh. âDoll, Iâd have cleared the desk and gotten fired in five minutes.â
You laughed, but it broke into a gasp when he pulled your bra strap down with his teeth, letting it snap lightly against your skin before sliding the strap off your shoulder with his fingers.
âBuckyââ
âYeah?â His hand trailed down your stomach, warm and firm, stopping just at the edge of your panties. âSomethinâ you wanna tell me, baby?â
You arched under him, trying to push into his touch. âStop teasing.â
That cocky smirk flashed across his face. âI don't think so.â
His fingers slid past the thin fabric of your panties, finding you warm and already wet for him. He let out a low, satisfied hum, leaning down so his mouth brushed your ear.
âJesus, doll⊠youâve been thinkinâ about this all day, huh?â His voice was gravel now, deep and smug. âFeelinâ all worked up while I was stuck at that boring-ass office?â
You let out a shaky laugh, breath catching when his fingers started to moveâfirm, slow strokes that made your hips twitch against his hand. âMaybe I was.â
âMaybe?â He chuckled darkly, nipping your earlobe. âSweetheart, youâre drippinâ. That ainât maybe.â
You bit back a moan, your nails digging lightly into his bare shoulders. âCould just be Iâm not that picky.â
His laugh was a hot breath against your cheek. âYeah? Liar. Youâd never let anyone else touch you like this.â His fingers pressed harder, faster now, each curl of them hitting exactly where you needed it.
You gasped, eyes fluttering shut for a second. âCocky much?â
âDamn right,â he said, kissing along your jaw while his hand worked between your thighs. âYou tell me to stop and I will, but we both know you wonât.â
Your lips curved in a grin even as your breath stuttered. âNot a chance.â
âAtta girl.â His tone was pure praise, but his fingers stayed relentless, every slick slide making your legs tremble a little more around him. âGonna make a mess for me, sweetheart?â
You arched into him, meeting his rhythm. âOnly if you can keep up.â
âOh, dollâŠâ he murmured, curling his fingers just right, drawing a sharp moan from your throat. âThat ainât a problem.â
You felt it building â that sharp coil tightening low in your belly, every flick of his fingers pushing you closer. Your breath hitched, hips rocking into his touch, ready to tip overâ
And then he pulled his hand away.
The loss made you whine, your hands grabbing at his shoulders. âJames!â
He grinned, the kind of grin that made you want to slap him and kiss him at the same time. âStop beinâ a brat.â
âIâm notââ
âYeah, you are,â he cut in, his voice laced with amusement as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your panties. âBut donât worry, doll. Iâll still take care of you.â
Before you could throw another complaint at him, he tugged the thin fabric down your legs and tossed it somewhere behind him without looking.
Then he shifted lower, settling between your thighs, his hands pushing them open wider until you felt the cool air brush over your heated skin. He looked up at you from under his lashes, that smug glint still in his eyes.
âYouâre already shakinâ,â he murmured, leaning in just enough for his breath to ghost over you. âAnd I havenât even touched you yet.â
Your pulse jumped, fingers curling in the sheets. âThen stop talking andââ
But your words broke off in a gasp as his mouth finally met youâhot, wet, and devastatingly slow at first, his tongue drawing long, deliberate strokes that made your toes curl.
Bucky groaned low against you, gripping your thighs to keep you spread for him. âGod, you taste like youâve been waitinâ for me all damn day.â
You laughed breathlessly, trying to bite it back. âMaybe I have.â
âMaybe,â he said against you, âisnât good enough. I want you screaminâ my name before Iâm done here.â
Bucky didnât rush.
That was the worst part.
He licked you like he had all the time in the world, like he could spend the entire night between your legs and still not get bored. His tongue moved in slow, deliberate strokes, flattening against you before curling just right, catching that spot that made your back arch.
Your hand shot to his hair, fingers tangling in the strands as your other gripped the sheets. âBuckyââ
âMhm?â he hummed against you, the vibration sending a shock straight through you. He didnât lift his head. Just kept licking, steady and maddening, like he wanted to make you beg.
Your hips rolled against his mouth without thinking, chasing more friction, and his grip on your thighs tightened. âEasy, doll. Iâm not goinâ anywhere.â
âThen go faster,â you gasped.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his mouth already shiny with you, lips curved in a smirk. âPushy tonight, huh?â
âMaybe I wouldnât be if youâdâoh, Jamesââ Your words cut off when he sucked your clit between his lips, tongue flicking over it in quick, relentless motions that made your vision spark.
âThatâs it,â he murmured when he let go, his voice low and filthy. âLet me hear you.â
Your breath came in short bursts, your thighs trembling against his palms. He alternated between long, slow licks and sharp, precise ones, never staying in one rhythm long enough for you to brace yourself. Every time you thought youâd figured out his pace, heâd change itâkeeping you right on the edge, drawing you higher without letting you fall.
âBuckyâpleaseââ you managed, your voice breaking around the word.
âPlease what?â he asked, deliberately slow, before dipping his tongue inside you, fucking you with it, his nose bumping your clit with every movement. The combination made you gasp, your hips jerking.
âPlease donât stop,â you breathed, your fingers tightening in his hair.
That made him groan, a deep, rough sound that vibrated through you. âThatâs my girl,â he said against you, before sucking your clit again, harder this time. âAlways so sweet for me.â
You felt it thenâthe coil tightening again, this time faster, sharper. You tried to warn him, but all that came out was a strangled moan.
âYeah?â he asked, reading your body like a book. âYou gonna come for me?â
You nodded frantically, words failing, your thighs closing around his head. He let them, one hand sliding up to press against your stomach while the other kept you open enough for his tongue to keep working you.
âCome on, pretty girl,â he murmured against you. âMess up my face.â
The filthy encouragement shattered what little control you had left. Your back arched, your mouth falling open in a cry you couldnât muffle, your entire body going tight before it shook apart.
Bucky didnât stopânot right away. He kept licking you through it, softer now, drawing out every aftershock until you were twitching under him, breathless and spent.
Finally, he pulled back, kissing the inside of your thigh before looking up at you with that damn smirk. âTold you Iâd take care of you.â
You swallowed, trying to catch your breath. âYeah,â you said, your voice hoarse but teasing. âGuess youâre good for something after all.â
His grin widened, and he started crawling up your body. âOh, sweetheart,â he said, bracing himself over you, âIâm just gettinâ started.â
Bucky stayed between your thighs, his hands braced on either side of your hips, eyes dragging over you like he was trying to memorize every inch. The candlelight caught the sharp cut of his jaw, the curve of his smirk.
âAre you ready for me, baby?â
You didnât hesitate. âIâm always ready for you.â
He grinned, one hand wrapping around himself, giving a slow stroke as he positioned between your legs. He brushed the tip along your slick folds, just enough pressure to make your hips twitch.
The contact pulled an involuntary sound from your throat, a small, aching note of impatience. âJames,â you said, his name leaving your lips like a warning and a plea all in one.
That made him laugh under his breath, leaning down to steal a quick kiss. âEasy, doll. Iâm not goinâ anywhere.â
Bucky guided himself to your entrance, the head of his cock pressing just enough to part you, and his gaze flicked up to meet yours.
âLook at me,â he murmured.
And when you did, when your eyes locked with his, he pushed forward â slow at first, deliberate, like he wanted to feel every inch you.
The first stretch of him inside you stole your breath. Even with all your memories of a hundred times before, your body reacted like it was new. Muscles tightening around him, heat pulling him deeper, making his jaw clench.
âJesus, dollâŠâ Buckyâs voice was low, strained, like he was trying not to lose it already. He pushed in until his hips met yours, holding there for a beat, his forehead nearly touching yours.
You werenât sure why it felt different tonight. Youâd thought youâd had him before â countless times, slow mornings, quick nights after dinner parties â but this⊠this was sharper. More consuming.
Then he started to move.
The first pull back was slow, deliberate, and then he thrust forward again, harder this time. Your back arched, a moan catching in your throat. His hands gripped your hips, anchoring you as he set a rhythm â not rushed, but deep and purposeful, every thrust hitting that perfect spot.
The room was thick with heat â the soft flicker of candlelight, the creak of the mattress, your mixed breaths and muffled curses. Every time his hips met yours, that strange undercurrent rippled through you, a sensation that felt both brand new and achingly familiar.
Bucky felt it too â though he couldnât name it. Something about the way your body gripped him, the way your eyes locked on his, made it feel like he was crossing a line he hadnât before.
âGod, you feel⊠different tonight,â he breathed, almost to himself, his pace faltering for half a second before he drove back into you, harder. âBetter. So much better.â
You clung to him, legs tightening around his waist, pulling him in deeper. âThen donât you dare stop.â
âWasnât planninâ on it,â he said, voice rough, hips pounding into you now with a messy urgency that made the bedframe knock against the wall. âNot âtil Iâve wrung every sound outta you.â
Buckyâs thrusts turned heavier, more insistent, his pace pushing the air from your lungs in small, sharp bursts. The candlelight caught on the sheen of sweat at his temple, his hair starting to fall loose against his forehead, his mouth open as he breathed through the effort of keeping himself together.
But there was no keeping it together â not with the way your body clung to him, every squeeze pulling a ragged groan from his chest.
âGod, doll⊠youâre perfect,â he ground out, his voice low and rough. âTakinâ me so well⊠fuck.â
You tilted your head back, the sound of his praise shooting straight through you. âFeelsâso good, Buckyââ
His hand slid up your side, cupping your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple until you gasped. Then his mouth was there instead, teeth grazing before his tongue soothed the sting, all while his hips kept driving into you.
It was overwhelming â his weight above you, his hands everywhere, the way he filled you completely with every thrust. The scent of him, the heat, the faint rasp of his voice in your ear when he pulled back just enough to murmur, âYouâre squeezinâ me so tight, baby⊠you gonna come for me?â
You let out something between a laugh and a moan. âIf you keep talking like thatââ
âOh, Iâm not stoppinâ,â he cut in, grinning against your neck before biting lightly. âNot until you fall apart around me.â
He adjusted his angle, and suddenly every deep drive of his hips was hitting that spot inside you that made your toes curl. Your legs tightened around him, anchoring him to you, pulling him deeper. The bed creaked under the steady rhythm, the headboard tapping against the wall in time with your gasps.
Buckyâs breath grew harsher, more ragged. âYou feel that? Thatâs meâevery inch of meâright where you need it.â
âGodâyesââ you panted, nails scraping down his back hard enough to make him hiss.
âJust like that,â he growled, his pace quickening, losing some of the measured control as his own need took over. His forehead pressed to yours, sweat-slick skin against skin, his eyes locked on yours like he couldnât look away.
That strange, unshakable intensity was back â the unspoken this is different humming beneath the heat, making every touch, every thrust feel sharper.
âCome with me,â he urged, voice almost breaking now. âCâmon, dollâlet go. Wanna feel youâfuckâwanna feel you while Iââ
The sound of him losing his words, the strain in his voice, pushed you over the edge. Your body went tight around him, the orgasm ripping through you so hard you cried out his name, clutching him like you might pull him under with you.
That was all it took.
Bucky groaned loud, hips slamming deep one final time as he spilled into you, his whole body shuddering with the release. He stayed there, buried in you, his face pressed into your neck, breath hot and uneven against your skin.
Neither of you moved for a long moment, just clinging, riding the aftershocks together.
When he finally pulled back to look at you, his lips curved into a slow, dazed smile. âHell of a welcome home, sweetheart.â
You laughed softly, still catching your breath. âYou earned it.â
And though neither of you realized it, that night had changed something â because it wasnât just another time. It was the first.
Bucky flopped onto his back beside you with a heavy exhale, one arm automatically draping over his eyes. âIf I knew thatâs what was waitinâ for me after work, doll, Iâd start leavinââ early.â
You rolled onto your side, propping your head on your hand to look at him. âYou start leaving early, and whoâs gonna bring home the bacon?â
He peeked out from under his arm, smirking. âPretty sure you just fed me all the bacon in the county.â
âThat was your dinner. This wasâŠâ Your lips curved into a sly smile. ââŠdessert.â
Bucky laughed, low and warm, and reached over to pull you against him, tucking you into his side. âBest damn dessert I ever had.â
You rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. He absently brushed his fingers up and down your arm, the post-coital haze wrapping around you both like a blanket.
âYou know,â you murmured, âif Iâd known that slip was gonna get that reaction, Iâd have bought three.â
âSweetheart, if you buy three, Iâm never leavinâ this bedroom.â
You swatted his chest lightly, but you were laughing, and he caught your hand before you could pull it back, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. âDonât tempt me, Mr. Barnes.â
He grinned. âOh, Iâm already tempted, Mrs. Barnes.â
Bucky shifted onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow so he could look at you. The candlelight softened his features, made his smirk look more like a smile â genuine, open in a way that was rare for him.
âYou know somethinâ, doll?â
You tilted your head. âWhatâs that?â
He brushed a thumb over your cheek, his touch slow, tender. âI love you.â
Your smile bloomed instantly, the kind that crinkled at the corners of your eyes. âI love you too, James.â
He leaned in and kissed you once â slow and sure â before pulling you in so your head rested under his chin, his arm secure around you like he could keep the whole world out just by holding on.
The two of you lay there in the candlelit room, the sounds of the neighborhood fading into the background â a car passing on the street, the hum of the old ceiling fan. Everything felt easy. Right. Like the world outside could wait until morning.
And in this perfect little bubble, neither of you had any reason to think otherwise.
a/n â I don't think people in the 50s had sex like this, and it's a shame for them. and yes, this was the first time these two were actually having sex, if some of you didn't catch that hint. anyway let's pray and manifest consistency, because y'all know my mind and focus wanders
summary: after two years of you talking into his ear, bucky meets the face behind the voice on the comms after a tricky mission.
pairing: tfatws!bucky barnes x fem!reader
insp by: an instagram reel from an art account that drew bucky on the phone with someone screaming at himâŠâŠ.. guys trust me my brain was thinking big things⊠also inspired by the goat penelope garcia!!!!!
word count: 10.1k⊠wowza⊠read at your own risk
content warnings: usual description of violence (blood and punching and stuff), being trapped under rubble, swearing, mentions of dying death and murder, very slightly suggestive content, explosions, guns and shooting
a/n: my first bucky fic!!!! for @opheliabbarnes since you got me hooked into bucky with all of your bucky propaganda and also becuade you cheated in my poll and used your bucky powers to make me write this. also guys for the sake of the book just imagine that bucky is working with sam and doesnât divorce him
"comms are live. hello, can you hear me?"
a pause.
there's a static crackling that rings through your headset before bucky's voice comes in, low and gruff, "yeah, unfortunately."
"good morning to you too, barnes." you smirk as you lean back in your chair, the screens in front of you flickering to life one-by-one. "it's nice to hear that your sunshine and optimism lived to see another day."
"play nice, you two." sam warns, "we haven't even gotten inside."
"i am playing nice." you retort, "that was me being sweet."
"define sweet..." bucky grumbles. you're not sure whether he's forgotten you can hear everything he's saying or if he's doing it just to spite youâ but you let it slide.
you glance over to a screen where you can see joaquin's bootsâ and only his bootsâ thanks to his poorly angled body cam. it's shaking like he's struggling with something.
"joaquin, you there? i think your mic's off."
"yeah, he's here. he just can't figure out his ear piece." sam sighs. you watch him step into joaquin's screen and grab something from his hands, "you just have to click the button, man. it's not that hardâ"
there's an awful screeching noise that pulses through your headset. it sounds like someone had just murdered a sentient robot and then fed its screams through a megaphone.
you pull it off in a hurry, waiting until it goes silent, and then place it back onto your headset with a huff. "everybody just... stop touching things."
another screen immediately catches your eye. blotches of red and orange pop out amongst a deep blue backgroundâ heat signatures patrolling the perimeter of the building that sam, bucky, and joaquin are in. you watch as a handful of them enter the warehouse.
"we've got movement." you still up in your chair, zooming in as the thermal overlay focuses, "there's about four patrolling the west perimeter. there's fiveâ noâ seven of them have just entered through the east side of the first floor."
sam peaks around the corner, but he can't see much unless he wants to compromise their position. he pulls back, "super soldiers?"
"i can't tell. they move like it, but nothingâs confirmed." you narrow your eyes. your eyes flicker to a smaller screen and a controller that sits beside it, "i'm sending scout. incoming!"
from somewhere in the sky, a grey blur cuts across the roof of the warehouse. bucky rolls his eyes as he watches it zoom past.
on your screen, scout's POV snaps into focusâ clear, high-res, infrared, and absolutely glorious. itâs practically your child. you guide the bot with a simple flick of your wrist.
a small drone no bigger than a tennis ball and stamped with a white 'S' on its side zips through the air like a wasp on a mission. it's virtually silent, zipping low as it peaks around the corner of the east wall.
"okay, they aren't armed, butâ" you pause as you rotate scout, "wait, there's a truck pulling up on the east loading dock."
sam furrows his brows. they didn't plan for anything other than a simple surveillance and a couple catch and arrests. "can you see what's inside?"
you turn to another screenâ a thermal drone that's zoomed into the truck. "one driver and one passenger. there's a few crates in the back, but i can't see what's in them. they must have some sort of cooling system because they're freezing."
joaquin glances between sam and bucky, "that has to be the serum, right?"
"this must be one of the meeting points for their buyers." sam says, "they're gonna be here any second."
"don't worry. i've got eyes on them." you cut in, fingers flicking across your keyboard as another feed pops up, "i'm guessing it's the four black range rovers approaching from the south along franklin street."
there's a pause, then bucky asks, "what's our game plan?"
he's not looking at sam or joaquin. he hasn't moved a muscle. his voice is low and steady, his eyes fixed straight aheadâ like he's waiting for your voice to tell him what to do next.
and you don't hesitate.
"we need to seperate them from the buyers. if this is an exchange, they're going to have bodyguards. we can't have thirty armed criminals in one warehouse. can you handle that, torres?"
joaquin nods, "loud and clear."
without another word, he takes a running step off of the warehouse's broken wall. his wings snap out from his jet pack with a hiss, catching the wind as he flies south along franklin street. you watch his tracker blip across another screen, already zeroing in on the buyers.
"and you two have to take these guys out." you continue, focus turned on sam and bucky, "there's five on the perimeter, all armed. there's two that have just wandered off towards you guys. pick them off."
sam's voice crackles in, "i'll take the guys with the guns."
there's a pauseâ
"we can take the guys with the guns." he corrects himself a moment laterâ probably after a look from bucky.
"they're unloading the crates now. the truck is electric, so i think can stall it long enough for you guys to get closeâ maybe cut off their exit entirely. we still don't know if they're enhanced, so be careful and don't be stupid."
you watch sam's body cam as bucky turns to him, his voice flat through the comms, "yeah, sam."
sam scoffs and waved him off as he readjusts his shield, "i think she means you, man."
"i was just throwing it out there." you roll your eyes, fingers flying across your keyboard as you send joaquin backup, "torres has already contained the buyers, so you're upâ go."
bucky's already moving before you can even finish your sentence, heavy boots almost silent against the concrete floor. sam vaults the barrier to his left, moving fast and low.
sam closes in. a pacing guard turns just a moment too lateâ sam drives his fist into the side of his face. he drives into another guard, sending him tumbling into a wall with a dull thud. another one spins around with a gasp. he fumbles for his weaponâ
crack.
a metal fist drops him before he can even point it. bucky steps over the guy, barely slowing his pace or breaking a sweat. but then another guard rounds the cornerâ one who doesn't fumble with his gunâ and shoots.
you look over to another screen. the thermal camera shows more figures closing in on sam and bucky, clearly on high alert. the tension in their movements show that they're panicked. the four crates that had been unloaded were now being covered back up.
"you've got six of them heading your way, and fast." you scramble. the truck's screen is visible on your screen, but your software is still trying to figure out the password, "they're unarmed, but be careful."
sam's wing fans out in a practiced motion and shields them both from the bullets. the shots ping right off of the reinforced metal. his wing retreats, and the guard looks terrified. he tries to reload the gun, but he's struggling.
sam's voice comes through, dry but amused, "i guess we're past the stealth phase."
"i didnt like that phase anyways." bucky grunts as he shoves the guard against a wall. he makes a point by grabbing his gun and snapping it in half like a twig, tossing it out reach. he knocks the guy out with one swift punch to the jaw.
they're doing goodâ clearing the path with ease and making sure to be vigilantâ but then they walk into the main area of the warehouse. it's wide open and humming with the sound of the truck and trailers shoving the crates back into the back, and there's at least a handful of masked figures standing there.
the six figures you had seen nearing sam and bucky are already stepping into the light of the warehouses main floorâ calm, coordinated, and slightly intimidating.
each one is broad-shouldered and looks battle-worn. their body temperatures come up significantly warmer than both sam and bucky's, and you can tell something is wrong.
"you think they've taken the serum?" bucky shifts his stance, fists already clenched.
you watch as one of the men lurches forwardsâ blindingly fastâ and throws sam across the room, far too fast for sam to catch himself. he hits a pillar, sliding down it with a groan.
"shit." you inhale.
"i think so!" sam yells, voice strained.
the rest of them charge. bucky's the first to meet them head-on. he lands a solid punch to one of their jawsâ and it should've dropped himâ but the guy just snarls, barely flinching, and drives his knee into bucky's stomach.
sam's back up, his shield snapping into place just quick enough to block a hit. he's fighting hard and moving fast, wings flicking around for balance and defence, but for every hit he dodges, there's another one right after.
you're watching the fight from a drone overhead like a game you can't control. youre working on trying to stall the truck, but it's difficult when youre also watching your friends get their asses beat.
sam takes out one guy with a swing of his wing and a nasty uppercut, but two more corner him. bucky slams a guy through a metal beamâ literally through itâ but it only buys him a second before another super soldier grabs him by his jacket and tosses him across the room, back slamming into a shelving unit.
thenâ like a miracleâ a screen on your right starts beeping. a red dot farts across the radar, closing in on the warehouse. you spin in your chair to check the corresponding feed just as a figure cuts through the sky.
you grin, "torres incoming!"
not even a second later, joaquin bursts through one of the warehouse windows, wings flaring wide. his visor glints as he absolutely bodies two super soldiers like bowling pins just as one of them winds up to hit bucky again.
he lands with a thud, wings retracting quickly as he jogs up to sam. bucky is close behind, but he's still fighting off two super soldiers.
"about damn time." sam huffs.
bucky wipes the blood leaking from his nose, taking a moment to catch his breath, "what the hell took you so long?"
"traffic." he grins and holds his hand out for sam, who's literally holding on by a thread, trying to prop himself up with his shield, "was getting your asses kicked a part of the plan?"
sam groans as joaquin pulls him up, "don't push it, joaquin."
you're still watching the fight through various monitors. the comms are full of grunts and sharp breathes, but now that joaquin's there, they're struggling a little less.
and then there's a beepâ a small, sad beepâ and a window that says 'OVERRIDE FAILED' in big red letters. you freeze.
"they've locked me out of the truck's system. they're overriding my remote access." you scramble to restart the process, but it doesn't let you.
you glance at another screen. the camera feed confirms your worst fearâ they're escaping. one of the super soldiers is climbing into the driver's seat, the rear doors slamming shut as the engine hums to life.
"they're taking offâ" you panic as you watch the truck pull out of the warehouse driveway, "shit, someone stop that truck!"
before anyone can respond, bucky takes off in a full sprintâ no hesitation, no plan, and clearly no intention of letting that truck get away or waiting for anyone. his boots pound against the asphalt as he trails it.
"barnesâ" you call through the comms, stressed out of your mind.
you hadn't expected him to chase after it. he was the only one without wings or a jet pack, yet you watched him run after that truck like he was chasing all he's ever wanted. the panic in your voice doesn't help. if anything, it only pushes bucky harder.
he barrels out onto the street, only a few metres from the truck. you send a drone up ahead, the camera feed glitching as it races to keep up. you're trying to calculate every route the truck could take to evade captureâ until your eyes land on a large clearing.
there's a river glittering under the sun, splitting the city in half. a large drawbridge stretches over it, connecting the two sides of land. just next to it, there's an enormous cargo ship waiting to crossâ and your heart stops when you notice the bridge is already at a 70 degree angle.
"they're gonna jump the bridge, barnes." you quickly warn, "if they make it across before the splitâ"
"they're gone." he finishes, breathless but ready. you can hear his sharp breathes through your headset, "i'm not letting it get away. 'gonna jump it."
"fall back, barnes, you're not going to make it." you bark through the comms, trying to keep your voice steady. you watch as he speeds up, running faster than you've ever seen him run.
"you better listen to the lady, bucky." sam adds, wings slicing through the air as he tries to catch up.
you watch as the truck barrels forwards, climbing up the incline of the rising drawbridge like it's easy work. bucky's closeâ too close to stop. he digs his feet into the ground harder as he launches himself up the incline.
you can see it all through a droneâ the truck about to leap, bucky on its tail, the bridge yawning wide open underneath them, and the water far below shining like teeth. the cargo ship blares its horn as it draws closer to the bridge, wary of what's happening.
it happens too fastâ
the truck leaps across the gap. its front wheels leave the ground for just a split second before the back wheels follow, and then its airborne. behind it, bucky jumps too.
you're on your feet now, eyes locked onto the drone feed. your hands are braced on either side of the desk and your knuckles have gone bone-white. you're not breathing or thinking. you're not even sure if your heart is beating.
for a moment, he's airborne. then just as quickly, he's falling straight through the gap and into open air. the wind catches in his jacket, gravity yanking him down towards the water and the cargo ship below.
just before he hits the ship deck, a blur of red, white, and blue zips pastâ sam.
his wings flare as he dives, hooking one arm around bucky with precision, the two of them twisting mid-air as the momentum nearly sends them spiralling. they hover under the bridge for a moment before sam takes off towards solid ground.
you collapse in your chair and yank the joystick for scout, who zooms towards bucky and sam. its camera focuses, cutting through the haze of the sun to check on them.
"jesus christ, buck, are you okay?" you panic into your mic, already trying to see if he needs medical attention.
"i've caught the princess, he's safe." sam replies, smug as ever.
you lean in closer to the screen as scout zips around him, "are you injured? you might need to take your vest off so i can assess it and let medical know."
"take me to dinner first." he doesn't look thrilled about the rescue. he brushes off his jacket with a clenched jaw, then narrows in on scout, who's circling him. he flings his hand at it like a fly, "and get that stupid drone out of my face. it's ugly."
"rude." you frown, "he just risked his tiny propellor life to check up on you."
"yeah?" bucky asks flatly.
you narrow your eyes, "yeah."
bucky gives scout a fake smile and says an insincere 'thanks buddy'. thenâ without hesitationâ bucky grabs scout mid-hover. you barely have time to shout at him before he launches scout straight up into the sky, spinning wildly and almost vanishing.
the feed spins out of control as the stabilisers struggle to compensate with the speed it'd been hurled at.
sam clicks his tongue and shakes his head, "ooooh, she's gonna kill you."
bucky shrugs, utterly unfazed, but there's a shadow of a smile sitting on his lips, "i didn't like the way it was looking at me."
"you better pray he still works when you get back or else i'll murder you in your sleep." there's a lowness in your voice that should be intimidating, but bucky doesn't falter.
"i'd like to see you try." he retorts, his tone bordering amused.
"you've never seen me." you reply matter-of-factly, "you wouldn't even see me coming.â
"oh, trust me, the moment i hear nasally breathing, i'd know exactly who was about about to beat my ass."
"that sounded like a compliment, barnes." you roll your eyes, ignoring the insult and simply smirk, putting on your best mock-sultry tone, "are you complimenting me?"
"don't flatter yourself. i've just taken too many hits to the head."
he hears you scoff, and it makes his grin widen. he can almost imagine you in your little computer room at the base, sitting in front of your set-up with an unimpressed look on your face, or even pacing back and forth muttering about how annoying he is.
it's weird how he knows so much about you, but still can't really picture what you look like. he's tried, but it's mostly just a blurâ almost like a familiar face from a dream.
sam stops walking and turns to bucky with his hands on his hands, "are you guys done flirting or do you want me to circle back in a couple of hours?"
"you should've just let him fall into the river, sam." you grumble through the comms.
"hey guys?" joaquin's voice comes in clear and troubled.
sam pauses, his eyebrow furrowing, "what's up, torres?"
"you might wanna come and check this out."
it's later in the day. the team had gathered back at the base to debrief, worn out and trying to gather themselves after the failed mission.
sam is slouched on a chair, eyeing the information on the screen to figure out what went wrong, bucky's leaning against the wall with a towel around his neck and a band-aid above his brow, and joaquin's icing his shoulder and holding up his phone, where your voice comes through the speaker.
"so youre telling me that they just abandoned two entire crates full of super soldier serum and then just dipped?" you spokeâ sharp and unmistakably done with everything.
"uhhhhhhhh... yeah." joaquin blinks, then tilts his head in confusion, "i thought you were already caught up with this?"
"do i sound caught up, joaquin?" you roll your eyes and take a deep breath, "it just doesn't make any sense. they went through all that effort to keep up busy, only to leave the serum behind like its nothing?"
"you think it was a decoy?" joaquin asks.
"i don't know." you half-shrug, "they've barely touched it, and i just got a message that they want me to check it out before they log it and send it into evidence."
sam straightens in his chair, "you want backup?"
"it's sitting in the middle of an air-force base, sam. if someone pops out, they've got bigger things to worry about than meâ like the twenty armed guards surrounding it or the drone that's been circling it for the past hour."
"you're actually leaving your cave?" bucky jokes.
"yeah, barnes, i am." you deadpan, hand already on your 'caves' door handle, "since you threw scout into orbit, i'll have to use my eyes like a normal person. he's fine, by the way. just a bit of whiplash."
sam huffs out a laugh, but his shoulders are still visibly tense, "hey, just be careful, okay?"
"always. i'll call back in ten." you say, more to yourself than anyone else, then hang up.
the room is silent for a few seconds. the low him from computer monitors fills the space, punctuated by the slow ticking of a clock nearby.
joaquin sighs, then mutters, "can't believe they left the crates behind." he shifts the ice pack on his shoulder, "feels... off."
sam leans back in his chair with a tired sigh, "if anyone's gonna spot something we missed, it's her."
then another moment of silence stretches through the team. outside the window, the airfield lights burn against the dusk. the base is usually quiet at this time of day.
bucky stares out of the window. then he asks, "is she always like that when she's out in the field?" he doesn't clarify what he means by that, but the others seem to understand what he means.
"what, annoyingly confident?" sam lets a small smile wander onto his face as he thinks about you, "she's about ten times worse when she's not behind those screens. but it's good. she doesn't miss much. and when she's got a gut feeling..."
sam doesn't finish his sentence. he doesn't need to.
"you should see her during intel briefings." joaquin adds with a goofy grin, "she'll shred a guy's whole thesis with like... three words. it's brutal."
"and that weird 'incoming' thing she does?" bucky frowns, like he's genuinely confused, "what is that?"
joaquin laughs under his breath, "she's been doing that since we were recruited. it's like... her thing."
bucky's quiet for a moment. his eyes glance at joaquin's phone where your voice had just crackled through not even a minute ago. it sat idly on the table. there's a weird feeling in his chestâ almost embarrassment. he'd known you for two years and was only just now asking questions.
"is she tall?" bucky blurts out.
joaquin blinks, caught off guard, "what?"
there's another beat of silence. sam turns his head away slowly from the monitor, clearly unimpressed, and gestures vaguely to bucky. he deadpans, "he's never seen her."
"seriously?" joaquin raises his brows, "you've been working with her for two years, and you've never ever seen her face?"
bucky runs his tongue against the inside of his cheek. he wants to just get over the subject, but he's brought it onto himself. he shrugs like it's nothing as he pulls the towel from around his neck, but the pink tips of his ears say the opposite.
"she's always behind a screen or..." bucky runs his hand over his face, exhaling like he already regrets having this conversation, "or on encrypted phone calls, or in a control room in some random part of this place. she's not exactly the easiest person to bump into."
"you've never looked her up? never seen a photo?" joaquin still looks utterly amused, inching ever so slightly across the table, "you haven't even stalked her, just a little bit?"
bucky looks at him like he's spewed gibberish, "no."
"she was standing right next to you last week." joaquin exclaims incredulously, "at the debrief? she was standing next to you with her arms crossed? we could go check out to the crates right now. she'd be there."
bucky furrows his brows, completely silent.
sam leans back with a knowing smirk, "trust me, if he'd seen her, he'd remember her."
"what's that supposed to mean?" bucky frowns, unsure if he should be offended or if he actually has a point to make.
"it means she's memorable, man." sam says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, "voice like that? brain like that? you think the looks don't match? sheâd have you thinking about her 24/7.â
joaquin raises his brows in agreement, "he's got a point."
bucky doesn't respond, and his silence says more than any smartass comeback ever could. he's just sitting there, absentmindedly playing with the towel in his hands and staring at nothing in particular, his gaze far offâ maybe trying to picture you again. maybe trying to figure out if he should go out and see youâ but it feels wrong.
sam watches him for barely a second and has already read him like a book. he rolls his eyes and leans forwards with intent, like he's seen this before. and he has. "don't go getting all obsessed, buck."
that snaps bucky out of his head. he scoffs, "i'm notâ"
"she called you buck and you didn't say anything about it."
joaquin watches the exchange like its an intense tennis match.
"i've known you for, like... ten years. i called you buck last year and you didn't like it." sam points out, gesturing emphatically, "and you just asked if she was tall like you were filling out your dating profile preferences."
"it was a question." bucky defends.
"a weird question." sam retorts.
"oh, give me a break." bucky clenches his jaw, "you're telling me that if you there was a voice in your ear 24/7 for two years, you wouldn't be going insane?"
and he meant insane. you were everywhere. in his ear during missions, on his phone when you need to let him know important intel at ungodly hours, in briefing folders where half of the intel had come straight from you, and even in conversations he overhears whenever he walks through the base.
youâ the genius air-force captain who works directly for the new captain america.
no one really knew how you ended up running tactical for sam, but no one had questioned it either. you were just good. scary good. the kind of smart that made people shut up and listen, and the kind of precise that made bucky trust your voice more than his own gut.
bucky had fought his entire lifeâ in wars, for and against hydra, stared down gods and aliens and wizardsâ but somehow, it was you, the staticky voice in his ear, that kept him on edge.
how can someone be everywhere, but nowhere to be seen?
but then there's a loud bangâ loud enough to jolt sam and joaquin out of their chairs. its sharp and feels wrong in their guts, the kind of sound that doesn't belong in a secure military base.
"what the hell was that?" sam shouts.
an alarm starts blaring in the main sector of the air baseâ where you are.
the three of them were already sprinting down the hallway before they had even registered that they'd moved. the smell of smoke hits their noses before they even make it out of the doorsâ acrid, bitter, and smelling off chemicals.
outside, the air is thick of it. it sticks low to the ground, a handful of military personnel already corralling debris and shouting orders at each other amongst the wreckage. something had definitely exploded.
"jesusâ" sam mutters with his mouth shielding his face from the smoke, "isn't that where the crates were?"
bucky's jaw tightens. there's a crunch under his boot, and when he lifts it, a tiny vial with blue liquid stares back at him. his eyes sweep through the smoke, but he's not sure he could even recognise you. a figure in fatigues passes by and bucky's wastes no time in stomping towards them.
"heyâ" he calls, voice rough with urgency. your name slips from his mouth, "was she here? was she hurt?"
the figure turns and points to the other side of the base, "they took her to medical." they quickly reply.
joaquin wastes no time and bolts in your direction, not bothering to ask any questions or where you areâ he'd find you.
sam is already stepping over the debris to try to figure out what had happened. when they'd transported it back to the base, there had been no signs that anything was wrong. and now, after hours of silence, one had detonated after you had checked on it.
"she said she felt something was off." sam stiffens, "and she was right."
bucky rounds the edge of the blast zone, his eyes scanning the ground. bits of scorched wood and metal are strewn everywhere with dark smoke still curling upwards like it's taunting them. his boot kicks something small and metallic, half buried in the dust.
"sam." he calls, crouching down.
sam looks over. his eyes narrow as bucky reaches for a small warped disc. it's blackened, but not completely unrecognisableâ a thin casing, circuit etching, and what looks like melted adhesive around the edges.
"they were never gonna come back for it." bucky turns over the deflated bomb, "wanted to cause serious damage to whoever took it."
"yeah, and it worked. they've put our man in the chair in hospital."
bucky rips off a flailing piece of plastic from the bomb. underneath, there's writing writing in minuscule block letters and unintelligible to him at first glance. its not english or in any language he recognises.
he squints, turning it slightly, "you seeing this?"
sam leans over and brushes soot off of the surface, "some kind of... manufacturing tag?"
"could be a location." bucky matters, pointing at a short line of text half-buried under the sticky residue, "this part here looks like latitude and longitude."
sam exchanges a stumped look with bucky, "so what, they booby-trap the crates, nearly kill our comms specialist, and then give us a return address?"
"looks like it."
they both fall silent. there's still a hum of chaos and confusion in the air with military personnel running back and forth to figure out what's happening, and joaquin's still in medical trying to find you. sam's jaw ticks.
"you thinking what i'm thinking?" he asks.
bucky nods once, "yeah. time to pay 'em a visit."
the moon hangs heavy over the towering complex. the building hangs on the edge of a tree line, swallowed by both nature and time. what used to be a lavish apartment complex in the 70s was now home to spiders, rats, and bird nests, the crumbling skeleton of concrete and steel forgotten, but not untouched.
joaquin frowns, craning his neck just to look up at the building, "you guys sure this is the place?"
before he can even finish his sentence, a slow gust of wind passes through. it whistles through the exposed windows and cracked walls, groaning like its alive. the metal structure groans under its own weight and it sways.
"that cannot be good." sam audibly winces.
they shake it off, moving without speaking. joaquin checks his wings and weapons, bucky is staring up at the windows like he's trying to see something through them, and sam is trying to get redwing to scout the areaâ a poor substitute for the tech they had gotten used to.
there's a silence surrounding them that crawls under their skin. no crackling in their ear pieces, no humming from drones zipping around in the air, and certainly no voice in their ears telling them what to do next. all that accompanies them is the sound of wind and the thud of concrete as chunks occasionally fall from the building.
then joaquin exhales through his nose and shifts uncomfortably like your lack of presence is physically effecting him, "yeah, this feels weird."
"right?" sam lets out a relieved laugh like he's been thinking the same exact thing, "it's almost too quiet. i dont know what to do with myself without someone yappin' in my ear."
he glances sideways at bucky, who looks like he's thinking the same, but is keeping his mouth shut about it. "you miss her too, don't you, buck?"
bucky pauses like he's about to say something witty that'll get sam off of his back, but he lets out a small breath in amusement and nods once instead, "yeah. i guess i got used to her bossing us around all day."
then, as if summoned by pure magic, there's a crackle that hits all three of their ear pieces.
"you guys can't get rid of me that easily." your voice slips in, smug and unhurriedâ like you'd been listening the whole time and were just waiting for the perfect moment to turn your mic on.
sam jumps so high that he nearly flies redwing straight into a power line, "jesus christâ"
bucky's head snaps straight up. his hand flies to his ear piece like he can't believe that your voice is actually there. "what the hell are you doing on comms?" he asks sharply, but he can't hide the hint of relief he feels.
"it's nice to hear you too, barnes." your roll your eyes, amused.
"they cleared her." joaquin laughs, answering the question before they could ask.
"yup." you nod and gesture to your face as if they can see you, "i'm a little burnt and they had to remove a piece of metal from my cheek, but other than that, i'm fit as a fiddle."
your monitor flickers to life. in one of them, you can see the tips of bucky's fingers pressing against the lens of the small camera he usually wears on missions.
"what are you doing, barnes?" you deadpan as you watch one of your screen flip back and forth.
"i'm trying to putâ" bucky sighs as he tries to jam the camera into a small hole in his vest, but it twists and turns and wont stick. "this camera's broken."
"it isn't broken. you're just putting it in upside down."
"... didnt the nurse tell you to stop talking?" bucky grumbles as he messes with the small camera. he flips it around and scoffs when it sticks on with ease, "y'know, to preserve your vocal chords and prevent any more damage or whatever?"
"a bomb exploded in my face, barnes, not in my throat." you roll your eyes, "and lookâ it's in now. see what listening to me does?"
"i thought i was... zooming in."
joaquin snorts, "dude's out here trying to fight super soldiers with the tech literacy of a toaster."
"i've killed people with a toasterâ"
"love the attitude today, guys. very inspiring." sam grumbles. redwing flies back into their radius and clicks back into sam's pack, "now that you're here, you mind checking out the perimeter?
"whatever. scout is inâ"
"incoming." the three of them chime in unison, perfectly timed and perfectly familiar. there's a silence before you laugh.
"wow, you guys." you sigh with dramatic flair, a mix of both sarcasm and genuine amusement, "i've babied you guys for so long that you're finally taking after me. wanna call me mama next?"
you can hear joaquin snicker loud and clear through the mic, and you watch through sam's body cam as bucky scoffs, rolling his eyes like he's annoyed with your antics.
sam gives the camera a flat look, knowing that you were probably laughing at their faces, "this is what happens when they let her out of medical early."
scout zips into the scene, a quiet mechanical sound whirring past the team. it flies high up into the abandoned apartment complex, small enough to squeeze into the cracks of broken windows and rusted beams like a bird, scanning the surroundings and mapping them out on sam's tablet.
"scout's in." you announce, weaving scout through dusty cloth and abandoned furniture.
from outside, the guys glance up, watching as scout disappears for a moment before darting back inside.
"i'll never get used to how fast that thing moves." sam mutters as he watches scout zip through the top floor.
"he's faster than redwing." you simply reply, but sam doesn't miss the slight edge of challenge in your voice.
"excuse me?" he scoffs, glancing at bucky's body cam like it's you and you're actually there, "trust meâ if your tiny little tennis ball goes down, you're gonna be begging to use redwing."
"i'm not touching your freaky little robot bird. i have standards."
"hey, i met your ex. don't you talk to me about standardsâ"
there's a sharp bark of laughter from joaquin, but bucky cuts in before you and sam's banter can escalate. "can we focus?"
you roll your eyes, but narrow in on scout's POV.
"something moved on the fifth floor. it could've been the wind and some tarps, but it could've also beenâ woah."
that gets their attention.
"what is it?" bucky asks, immediately alert.
you zoom in slowly. "there's... something big in here. looks like machineryâ lots of it. the whole setup looks old, but it doesn't look abandoned."
"what kind of machinery?" sam asks.
"hang on." scout scoots a little closer, and your eyes widen. "it's a production labâ specialised injectors, gene sequencers, stabilisersâ i think this is where they were were making the serum."
joaquin narrowed his eyes in confusion, "they used this place as a super soldier factory?"
you shook your head, "no, not anymore. looks like it's been stripped clean, but the setup's still here. they didn't even bother hiding what it was and just left it to... rot. scout's picking up residual heat signatures, so whoever was here cleared out recentlyâ maybe a few hours ago, maybe less. it should be safe."
âshould be." sam mutters under his breath, but he's already pulling his shield to his chest and heading towards the door, "never feels comforting when you say that."
the team fans out as they enter the apartment buildingâ or what's left of it.
sam sticks to the lower floors, descending down stairs leading to a basement. the flashlight on his vest isn't bright enough to cut through the vastness of it.
bucky decides to check out the machinery to see if they left anything of importance behind. he mutters something about it smelling like a meth lab as he heads upstairs.
joaquin jets to the rooftop. he wants elevation, to see the layout of the place and the potential leads that could find the group behind thisâ but he also wants to avoid being on the ground floor if the building decides to give way.
"scout's overhead if you need backup. keep your comms clear and open. let me know if you find anything." you tell them before turning your microphone off.
"wouldn't dream of ignoring you." joaquin teases.
and then you're alone in the silence of your command room. you lean closer to your monitors, hands intertwined against your mouth as you watch your boys disappear one by one into the dingy bowels of the apartment complex.
it's dark, and even with scout's night vision, you can barely see ahead. the hallways look more like underground tunnels, and you can only imagine how cramped it must feel. the camera stutters with static as scout floats ahead, probably from the lack of service. you're almost afraid you might lose contact with them.
scout rounds a corner. you dont necessarily know where you've guided himâ it's too dark to seeâ but you know you're somewhere down below. you're half-focused, watching bucky's body cam and keeping tabs on joaquin's feedâ until something jolts scout off course.
the small drone clips the corner of a wall and bumps into sam's shoulder, startling him.
"what the hell?" he whips around, staring down at scout like he'd just punched sam in the face, "don't sneak up on me like that."
you click your mic on with an apologetic smile, "sorry. wasn't looking where i was going."
sam rolls his eyes and turns back to the basement. it's almost a labyrinth with how many empty boxes and crates are stuffed down there, and it smells of mold and rot. sam scans the room, and you do too. there's an old supply crate shoved into the corner of a hallway, covered by a measly and moth-eaten tarp.
"hang on..." sam mutters as he nears it.
"sam, wait, don't touch itâ" you warn, but it's too late. sam nudges the tarp aside, and what's underneath sends your stomach plummeting.
"it's a bomb." you breathe, "get out, sam, nowâ"
"shâ"
the comms explode with staticâ not just sam's, but bucky's and joaquin's too. there's a high pitched ringing noise piercing through your headset and sam's screen goes white, then black.
your hands fly to your keyboard, pulling up scout's emergency override system. he's still functionalâ wobbly and a bit glitchy, but functionalâ and through his lens, you see smoke and chunks of plaster. there's a section of collapsed ceiling sitting beside scout's whirring body.
before the smoke even clears, another explosion rings outâ louder and closer, and then there's another. for a split second, all you can see is light, your screens showering you in a horrible, horrible feeling of dread. for a second, you think you've lost all of them.
"sam!" you yell, "sam, can you hear me? sam?"
there's movementâ and then there's a groan.
"still alive." he coughs through the dust, his voice strained, "think i caught the edge of it. damn shield saved me."
"okay. you're okayâ" you let out a horribly shaky breath, "just... hold still. i still need toâ joaquin? bucky? someone, come in."
there's nothing but static, and then one of your screens flashes back to life. it's joaquin's, who's outside and on flat ground.
"i'm fineâ jesus, i barely made it out of there." joaquin pants, doubled-over with his hands on his knees, "the roof's collapsed. i managed to fly out just before it gave out."
you close your eyes for a split second, relief washing over youâ but then it's gone just as fast as it came. you whip your head towards the last monitor, the screen still static and your heart clawing in your throat.
"what the hell happened?" sam grunts as he pushes a chunk of concrete off of his chest.
"i don't know, man." joaquin replies, still catching his breath, "i was heading down and there was a POP, and then the whole building blew up like a chain reaction."
"it was a chain reaction. they must've known we were coming." your voice is low, urgent, "one in the basement near sam, one on the roof, andâ" you pause as you glance at bucky's feed, "one near the lab."
sam presses his hand to his ear, trying to filter out the crumbling concrete from the static in this ear piece, "bucky, do you copy?"
"barnes?" you call again, leaning over your console like it'll bring you any closer to him, "barnes, can you hear me?"
"come on, buck, say something." sam mutters, pacing through the wreckage, "try bouncing the signal again."
"i am." you snap, more out of fear than anger, "i've already rerouted twice. there's justâ there's nothing." then, more quietly you add, "he was right by the lab. that blast radiusâ" you swallow hard.
"i'm going after him." sam says immediately, already pushing his way out of his entrapment.
"noâ no, wait, sam. the buildings not stable. i have to run a structural integrity scan before you can move." you pause, frantically typing, "follow scoutâ he'll find a way out. i'll find barnes."
sam clenches his jaw, but he listens.
"i'm going to try switching stations. maybe in the explosion he accidentally hit a button. maybe he just lost signalâ a tech issue, maybe. either way, i can fix it."
you try reasoning out loudâ trying to stay calmâ but you're not convincing anyone, least of all yourself.
from the middle floor, bucky lets out a wrangled soundâ half-cough, half-groan.
he doesnt know where he is. everything's dark and dusty, choking him every time he takes a breath. his ears are ringing, and the ground is cold and damp beneath him, and it even takes him a moment to register that heâs on the ground.
and there's a throbbing pain in his legâ dull at first, but then sharp, like someone lit a fire in the muscle just below his knee. he tries to shift it, but the pressure doesn't give.
"shit.."
its hard to focus. he can't remember where he was or how he had gotten there. he blinks, once, then twice. it's silent, and he's alone. he can tell before the thought even forms, and a deep unsettling feeling forms in his stomach.
there's no chatter or humming of a drone. there's no voice telling him where to go or what to doâ there's no you.
bucky clenches his jaw as he pulls himself up on one elbow. he grits his teeth as he shifts, enough to look down. there's a large metal beam pinning him down just across his shin. he exhales, trying not to move too muchâ trying not to panic.
he reaches up to his ear, pressing against it just to see if there was anything at all. his fingers press the buttons, trying to switch the dialsâ anything to get a hold of someoneâ but there's static.
"sam?â he rasps, "sam, come in.â
a shifting groan in the walls answers him.
"torres?" his voice cracks, "joaqâ joaquin, come on. heyâ"
the metal beam pinning him down just creaks under pressure.
panic starts to creep into his minds, replacing all logic. the pressure on his leg is sharp now, his side aches, and the silence is starting to weigh on him.
and thenâ barely a whisperâ your name slips from his mouth. once, twice, and then once more, calling for you like you'd appear and rip the rubble from off of his body yourself.
"c'mon, talk to me." he pants, "tell me that i'm holding the camera upside down, or... or that scout's incoming. anythingâ justâ say something."
he waits, and waits, and waits, but only static answers.
bucky doesn't know what to do. if he moves, he's afraid the rubble around him will crush him. if he doesn't, he'll never get out.
he squeezes his eyes shut, his forehead pressing against the dusty concrete as his breath stutters. his heart is pounding in his chest and he can hear it in his ears, unsure if it's from fear or the lack of oxygen.
he doesnt want to die. at least not like this. not alone.
a sharp, dry laugh escapes himâ bitter and breathless.
"shouldve told you i missed your voice before i got crushed by a goddamn support beam." he mutters to no one, "that would've been smart."
his hand slips from his ear and falls to the floor. he's tired.
thenâ
"barnes? barnes?"
his earpiece glitches as he turns his head, looking around like the voice might be there. there's a sputter, and another glitchâ but the voice in his ear is unmistakably you.
"bucky, can you hear me?"
your voice cuts through the static like a blade of light in the dark. youre clearer now, sharperâ desperate.
and bucky laughs. its all he can do. a soft, disbelieving laugh into the stagnant air, his chest stuttering with pure, aching relief. its the sound of someone trying not to fall apart.
"youâ" he coughs, dragging a shaky breath into his lungs, "you dont know how happy i am to hear your voice. where's sam and joaquin?"
he can hear a loud breathy laugh and then a thud, almost like you just collapsed at your desk from sheer joy, "they're fine. they're out. you just... you scared the hell out of me, barnesâ"
"call me buckyâ."
there's a silence on your endâ like you're letting his words find their way into your brain. like maybe you needed to hear that.
then softer, you smile. "okay. bucky."
he closes his eyes again. he lets the sound of his name in your voice carry him through the weight pressing down on your leg.
"can you move? are you bleeding? are youâ"
"i'm trapped." he cuts you off. he knows you're stressing yourself out far too much, "there's a support beam pinning my leg down, but otherwise, i think i'm fine. i can't get a hold of sam or joaquin, so... you're all i've got now."
"good. i've got you all to myself now." you try to jokeâ trying to keep bucky from panickingâ but he can hear the quiver in your voice and the way your words wobble just enough to betray you.
"hey." he softens, "you don't need to worry. i'm okay. i'm alive."
"right. sorry, i'm justâ" you swallow, eyes boring holes into bucky's monitor, "i was scared."
there's a silence, and for a moment, you're afraid bucky's been knocked outâ but then he laughs. with his usual calm certainty you're so used to nowâ
"takes a little more than bombing a building to get rid of me."
you smileâ watery and breathlessâ even if he can't see it. but he can hear you, and that helps with his pain. bucky huffs out a soft laugh, but it catches in his throat when the rubble around him shifts against his chest.
you catch the sound immediately. "what was that?"
"i'm under five hundred pounds of concrete and steel." bucky grunts under his breath, "i don't think it likes me moving."
"okay, okay. hold on. i'm pulling up scout's last scan of your level." you're already typing, eyes darting between monitors. "there's a structural weakness about two feet to your left. if you can push against it, i think i can guide you out."
"you think?" he mutters.
"barnesâ"
"bucky."
you sigh, "i'm going to get you out, bucky. just.. trust me."
"i do." he says without hesitation.
you breathe in. "alrightâ now lean over and try to pull out your leg out from under that beam. it's cracked and scout thinks you can snap it. from there, you should be able to push some of the concrete away on your left and climb out."
"i'll try."
there's a deep rumbling sound coming from bucky's mic, and it was now more than ever that you wished his body cam had worked. there's a sharp grunt from bucky, and thenâ
there's a metallic groan, and then a cracking noise.
"bucky?"
"i'm out."
"jesus christ, bucky, don't ever do that again. i thought you broke your leg or something."
"you just told me to do it."
"that's not the point. i justâ" you stop yourself and place a restless hand against your forehead like you can scrub the panic away, "i'm re-routing scout to find you. sam and joaquin are moving to help you from the outside.
there's a pauseâ just the low hum of your tech and the faint hiss of static in bucky's ear.
"you're doing great." bucky says gently as he pulls away a handful of debris, "seriously. you've got me halfway out already."
"halfway doesn't count." you mutter. youre focused on scout's monitor as it zooms up multiple levels towards bucky. you're barely blinking, and you're thumbnail is torn up from where you've been nervously chewing on it.
he smiles faintlyâ dusty, tired, but honest. "it counts to me."
scout clears the floorsâ each level scanned and discardedâ and then, like a light in the dark, you can spot the unmistakable glimmer of bucky's vibranium arm under the rubble.
you switch back to sam and joaquin's channel, your voice breaking through the comms, "bucky's on the sixth level's east corridor. he's trapped, but he's okay."
"copy that!" joaquin responds instantly.
before long, bucky can hear two pairs of boots thudding against the ground. he blinks slowly as a flashlight burns into his face. he turns his head just enough to see them through the hazeâ sam on the left and joaquin on the right.
"took you long enough." bucky jokes as he shoves another piece of debris out of the way.
"oh, he's alive." joaquin exhales as he grabs at chunks of metals, "i thought we were gonna be digging out a corpse."
bucky rolls his eyes, holding out an arm, "love the optimism."
sam practically leaps forwards, crouching beside him, "you're a damn cockroach, you know that? an explosion, six floors of concrete, and you're still alive." he says, grabbing bucky's arm and slinging it over his shoulder, "can you walk?"
"i'll manage." bucky leans on sam and joaquin more than he wants, but at least he's upright.
as they make it out, scout trails behind them like a loyal shadow. your voice crackles through, but not in their ear piecesâ through scout. "you've got a clear past east. the stairwell's stable, but don't waste time."
bucky glances up, and although he can't see you, there's a softness in his expression as he limps down the hallway, "still with me?"
you smile, "still with you."
joaquin glances awkwardly at sam, then rolls his eyes, "alright, you can flirt later. let's just get out of here."
the hangar is dim, lit only by overhead lights that flicker slightly and the occasional sensors that turn on when a janitor walks by. sam, bucky, and joaquin stand in a semi-circle staring down at atleast ten full crates of super soldier serum, the lids pried open and the vials staringâ almost mockinglyâ back at them.
no one speaks for a while.
"so you're telling me..." sam pauses as he holds his hand to his mouth, trying to make sense of the unbelievable situation in front of him, "we almost died... and the serum was in john walker's hands?"
joaquin tilts his head, "hell of a sentence."
bucky leans over and plucks a vial from it's foam confine. it's heavier than he expected. he tilts the vial, watching the blue liquid slink to its side, an inkling of suspicion growing in his chest.
"who's to say this isn't a trap?" he places it back into the crate and crosses his arms against his chest, "walker drops off ten crates of serum and walks off, no questions asked? i mean... how'd he even manage to take these guys down? he doesn't have the shield or the government's support."
sam turns around and shakes his head, too stressed out of his mind to even think about it anymore, "i don't even wanna know, man."
behind them, a door opens with the familiar hiss of hydraulics. and then there's footstepsâ soft, but certain.
"what are you guys looking at?"
bucky freezes.
it hits him like a punch in the chestâ he knows that voice. he hears it in his sleep. in the quiet between missions. in the static of a dead ear piece. and now itâs just hereâ fast approaching.
itâs you. he knows itâs you.
he doesnt want to turn aroundâ not yetâ because turning around would make it real, and if itâs notâ if its just his mind trying to comfort him with something familiar in a world that keeps pulling itself from under his feetâ then heâs not sure he can handle it.
but thenâ
âwhy do you all look like someone died?â
and something breaks lose in him. bucky turnsâ he canât stop himselfâ and there you are. youâre walking towards them, headset around your neck and your sleeves rolled up, clearly just finished with reports, debriefing and damage control. you look tired, but so alive that it almost knocks the air out of his lungs.
he doesnt know what he expected, but you look better than anything he could have possibly conjured up in his mind.
itâs instant, like something short circuits in him. youâre safe. youâre here. thereâs no more static through a headset, no dust, and no explosions. youâre real and youâre standing ten feet away, completely unaware of the fact that he hasnât stopped thinking about you since you said his name over comms.
you walk closer, hands on your hips as you peer into one of the crates. you speak, but bucky barely hears you over the roaring in his ears.
sheâs fine. sheâs fine. sheâs fine.
he swallows hard. his metal hand twitches. you feel his stare before you see it. you glance over.
there's dust still smudged along the side of his jaw, and a faint scrape just above his eyebrow. but he's standing there and breathing, watching you like he can't believe you're real.
âhi, bucky.â the corner of your mouth twists up into a warm smile as you give him a proper once-over, âyou look good.â
you say it like itâs the most normal thing in the world.
as you walk up to them, your shoulder brushes his for a fraction of a second. you just stand beside him like it's nothingâ like this isn't some world-shattering event for bucky and that you werenât a disembodied voice talking in his ear less than an hour ago.
even sam and joaquin are surprised, side-eyeing each other over the crates with identical expressions of is this really happening right now? and why is he just staring?
he's trying to play it cool, but he can'tâ he just can't keep his eyes off of you.
"holy shit, is thatâ" your jaw almost goes slack as you peer into the crates, eyes glazing over the glass vials in their foam casings, "where the hell did these come from?"
joaquin lets out an exasperated laugh, "you'll never guess."
you blink, "john walker?â
sam snorts, âokay, maybe youâll guess.â
"i heard you say his name before i came in, i just didnât think he was the one who dropped these off." you exclaim. youâre sort of impressed, "are you kidding me? how'd he even manage to get in here?â
your voice pitches with incredulity, the question half-rhetorical, half pure disbelief. youâre already running through possibilities in your head, and none of them are good.
youâre still peering into the crates, but buckyâs barely processed a single word since you walked in. his brain short circuits a little, and he speaks before he can stop himself.
âyouâve got⊠pen on your cheek.â
you blink, caught off guard, âwhat?â
bucky gestures vaguely to his own face, like his hand can explain for him, âright there. blue. itâs⊠smudged under your eye. mustâve been from the, uh⊠debrief reports or something.â
thereâs a pause.
"seriously?â sam turns to face buckyâs, his brows raised so high that theyâre practically part of his hairline, âyou see the lady's face for the first time and that's what you say?
joaquin chokes on a laugh. you stare at bucky with an amused grin. he looks absolutely mortified.
âwhâ it was distracting.â bucky waves sam off, trying to get him off of his back.
but you only laugh as you watch bucky scoff, "two years and you still don't know how to greet me. you could at least tell me i look good.â
he furrows his brows, caught somewhere between embarrassed and flustered âthatâs a bit egotistical, donât you think?â
you shrug, âoh, my bad. i forgot that you were the only one whoâs allowed to be a little full of yourself around here.â
joaquin sucks in a breath through his teeth, âsheâs got you there, man.â
bucky rolls his eyes and sighs. he opens his mouth, then closes it, and then he just shrugs, âyou look good. really good.â
its awkward and a little stiff, but something about the way he says it makes it feel realâ a little vulnerableâ like he means it more than he knows how to physically express it.
you soften, just a little, âthanks, bucky.â
a short silence passes again, more comfortable now.
âokay, but seriously, what the hell are we gonna do with these?â you nod towards the crates, nudging one with the toe of your shoe.
sam blows out a breath, âi donât know, but i do know one thing.â
you, bucky, and joaquin all look at him as he claps his hands together like heâs had a brilliant idea.
âi think we deserve a drinkâ yâknow, to celebrate not dying.â
joaquin raises his hand, âi second that.â
âbest idea youâve had all day, sammy.â you grin, âiâll go grab the good stuff.â
bucky watches as you turn and leave, something unreadable in his eyes. he stays frozen as he watches you disappear behind a door.
once youâre out of earshot, sam turns to bucky and pats him firmly on the shoulderâ
âdonât worry.â he says with a knowing grin, âiâll make sure you get another chance to say something better.â
bucky doesnât reply, but the faintest smile pulls at the corner of his mouth.