Yoga, Fitness and Life Balance

Now comes the santosha (contentment with where I’m at) and ishvara pranidhana (surrender to something bigger than me) as I head into the loud gym full of cheers of encouragement and eyes on me. Funny that I could teach a yoga class to a group this big and have no nerves at all, but having them watch me lift weight makes me squirm. Regardless of how it turns out, I’m proud to be here, to have a great group of people cheering for me and inspiring me to keep growing

My natural tendency to drive, achieve and be perfect had my inner dialogue pretty hard on me by the end of summer as I sat down to get s$!t done. I went back to my mentor, tail between my legs, to confess that I was a slacker. What he said changed me instantly. He suggested that if I don't like to do that work in the summer, then why do I set myself up to fail at it. Instead, if I have a finish date for project planning and allow myself the freedom to enjoy some of our short summer doing other things that I find nourishing that I will be much happier and productive and can pick up my 'work' again. Hmm. Seems simple and reminds me that seeing the heart of a blue whale, dancing with my friends at the cottage and having a nephew who calls me his best friend are completely worthwhile experiences that I would rather savour, instead of feeling guilty about. Now I'm back in full planning mode as the days are shorter and cooler. I'm loving the dreams and projects I'm working on and it really doesn't feel like work. I feel happy knowing that I can give myself some freedom to work as the natural ebb and flow of work come to me. Forcing anything really doesn't have good results does it!

Thank you Thank you Thank you to everyone who came and shared their stories and inspired each other!

Cheers to the strong women in my life who live with truth, courage and self-acceptance. Cheers to building each other up and removing our armour of strength

I've been watching the ads all over for Bell Let's Talk day for the last few weeks popping up on tv, radio and social media. I'm grateful that such a day exists, and that it is growing in popularity. There certainly is still stigma associated with mental illness, but the word is getting out. I hope that we can soon shift the conversation to making mental health care more easily accessible, both logistically and financially. My husband, Jody has suffered from severe anxiety for several years now. We are lucky enough to have a very good extended health care plan, but even our very good coverage is limited to $500 per year and only covers psychotherapists (no counsellors) and at more than $100 a session, this doesn't go far. There are publicly funded crisis centers out there. Our town of Alliston has one with a reasonably short, two month wait list. I think the hardest part of the mental health system in place that I've found so far is figuring out how to access it. Jody does a terrible job of reaching out for help and knowing what he needs. I can't speak for all people suffering with anxiety, but this is part of its effect on him. He can go to the doctor and come back with a prescription for an SSRI, but to get accurate info to and from the doctor I have to go with him. I have literally spent hours on the phone and Internet researching programs. It is a challenge to find out what is available. All of this means more time off work for me, and less income to pay for appointments and prescriptions. I am grateful that we are able to make his mental health a priority, regardless of its cost, though my heart goes out to those in similar situations who cannot. I have recently found a three week outpatient program in Newmarket that I hope he will decide to attend. However, he is concerned about having to go on short term disability for this as he will earn less pay and use up all of his sick days at once. He has great fear of reprimand from work for missing too much time or being passed over for promotion. There is a difference between what is legally an obligation of a workplace and what they expect. I need Jody to begin to function better as much as he does. Living with a person who is suffering with a mental illness is very hard. I feel a broad spectrum of emotion regularly. Deep empathy for what it must be like for him mingles with frustration at my being powerless to do anything about it. Gratitude for all of the ways he has grown emotionally have an undertone of grief for the fun and carefree man he used to be, seemingly lost forever. In so many ways I wish I could take some of his suffering from him, but there are days where I barely hold myself together. There is a name for this. It is called caretaker burnout, and man is it easy to fall into. I don't want to lean on him too much, as he's barely functioning on his own, and end up feeling alone. On top of that, if his attacks happen in the middle of the night, which happens frequently, I'm exhausted at work the next day and way more likely to pick a fight with him. On top of running my own business, I am left to do the majority of the day to day household tasks as they overwhelm him. It is as though my energy drains out faster than I am able to replenish it. I've found that very regimented self care is highly necessary to get me through. I go to yoga classes, get massages, pedicures and spend time having wine and chatting with my neighbours. The more Jody and I are open about our struggles, the more the people around us open up about theirs. Stress, shame and sadness are all decreased when shared. The effects of mental illness are too hard to carry alone

So now I embark on my practicum. I’m offering up a package of 5 sessions to anyone who wants to give it a try at a reduced rate. The 5 sessions are $300. Please let me know if you have any other questions I haven’t covered here. Let me help you to become more you. As Susi said, there is no limit to the joy that you can experience

1. Line a loaf pan with foil, saran or wax paper with sides overhanging for easy removal 2. Process almonds until flour-like consistency. Add oats and continue to blend a few more minutes. Add rest of crust ingredients and blend until well incorporated and beginning to stick together 3. Press crust (save for ½ C for the topping) into the pan firmly and evenly 4. Process filling ingredients in food processor until it makes a paste. You want it thick 5. Press filling on top of crust (I find an oiled spatula the best to prevent sticking) evenly 6. Top with reserved crust crumble and refrigerate at least 1 hour before cutting into bars

Its time for spring yoga to start in Everett. Get yourself registered, as space is limited to 12 students per class. Call or email to register today

Contact me for more info or to register [email protected]

Highlights of our trip: The flight to Asia is long. My legs were swollen and I was very stiff on arrival even though I moved around the planes regularly. We had a day to tour Bangkok first. We saw the Royal palace, the biggest temple in the city, the Chinese market and did a river cruise. It was lots of walking but that was a nice change. Next day was the bus to Siem reap, Cambodia. I won't go into big detail, but let me tell you that it was quite the 8 hour experience! Siem Reap is a city of big contrast. Hard Rock Cafe just around the corner from major poverty. Tourists everywhere to see Angkor Wat. Angkor Wat is a 1000 year old temple that has been in use since it was build. It is surrounded by kilometers of ancient holy buildings. High on my list of most magnificent things I've ever seen. Next was the islands of Cambodia. A night in Shianoukville to get on a ferry going over. We stayed on Koh Rong Samleum. It's the least developed island with just three 'resorts' on one side of the island and a handful on the other. It was incredible. I did some diving and got some good down time to meet people. Next to Phnom Phen. In our day and a half we fit in a visit to the Royal palace, the national museum, some shopping at a few NGOs, a sunset cruise and a tour of the night market. The most congested city I've seen and not to everyone's taste, but definitely some charming things here. Chiang Mai was next. We had a good stretch of days here to really explore. We had a day with the elephants at a sanctuary, a tour of the highest mountain in Thailand, a half day spa (traditional Thai massage, foot reflexology and massage and a pedicure for about $15), nightly walks through markets and constant water fighting because it is sonkran (Thai New Year) the entire time we are here. Last stop is Phuket. We stay on Karon beach just south of where the big parties are in Patong beach. I'm glad we chose that one. We could walk within a few minutes to the beach and none of the restaurants were very full at all. I had a couple of days here to scuba dive and my friend did her open water certification course. It was great fun with warm water and time to sit in the sun and relax. I left Phuket with a quick stop in Bangkok and then headed for home. Looking forward to seeing everyone back home soon.

I like to post pictures of myself doing yoga in a pretty background on social media. It's quite shallow of me. Is it really my practice? Not at all. I share poses that I can do well. Never ones I struggle with. I usually take 3 or 4 photos and pick the best. At least half of them I edit for a more aesthetic look. The truth is that I didn't practice for the first four days of my trip. There is simply too much fun stuff happening and life gets in the way sometimes. Sure I've done a few poses for myself, but not a full practice. I had the opportunity to practice at a Bikram studio in Bangkok, but chose to tour a cool temple instead. Do you blame me? Finally Rebecca and I got to practice last night. We did a short Bikram series (one set instead of two of each posture) because it was already 8pm and we needed dinner and showers before an early day today. It wasn't in a beautiful location as you can see. I wore clothing that was comfortable instead of pretty and my hair was a mess because I need a shower. I fell out of postures and complained about my body aching from 4 full days of sitting or walking to the extreme. The point is that I practiced. Even on vacation. Even though I'm tired and swollen ankles. Even though I don't have a mat. Even though it cuts into my time to relax. Even though it was in a dark corner with hard floors. I hope that posting this helps you to embrace and love your practice. It doesn't matter where or what you do. Do what your body needs. Do it for you

Check into the airport early and wait. Get in the plane on the runway and wait. Arrive at connecting airport and wait. Arrive and find shuttle and wait. Not to mention all the lineups along the way and waiting on the plane to arrive. Travel is all about waiting. I believe that yoga has given me the mental toughness and patience required to be a good traveller. Today I witnessed people angry at others who cut in line. Not waiting your turn is really uncool, but when we are all getting on the same flight does it really matter? A collective groan let out when the plane got onto the runway and had to sit there for 15 extra minutes before takeoff because of early morning noise regulations. Frustration waiting for a flight attendant doesn't help your service. Flight attendants are human beings. A little kindness goes a long way. Rebecca and I did meet a really nice man who took us for breakfast. We had lots of time to explore shops, watch movies, nap, do yoga and even write this blog post. We chatted with other travelers and each other, even came up with a great business idea. I had the luxury of a day to myself to relax. Don't I wish for this regularly? . Lots to be grateful for today. Here's some fun shots from the plane. We figured out lots of plane yoga poses. Details to come. Some people hardly moved around the plane. Don't know how they did it. I got up and stretched lots and still feel like I'm 80

I may not be the teacher for you. Every yoga teacher brings their own personality to their class. You will connect with some teachers more than others. Don’t give up on yoga because the style or the teacher wasn’t a good fit. There is a yoga out there for everyone.

Healthy Chocolate Pudding! Craving something sweet after the holidays? Yeah, me too. This is my adaptation of a recipe shared with me by my lovely yoga friend Katie. 2 ripe avocados 1 ripe banana 3/4 C cacao powder 1 Tbsp vanilla extract 2-4 dates 2-4 Tbps maple syrup Blend all ingredients together in a food processor. Start with 2 Tbsp of maple syrup and add until your pudding reaches your desired consistency. Top with raw cacao nibs or fresh fruit.

If you've been in my class at all in the last week, you’ve probably heard me issue my challenge to you. Here it is: over the holidays, do not, even for one second, feel guilty about having your favourite cookie, mulled cider, grandmas mashed potatoes etc. The pleasure and fulfillment that comes from a small indulgences at holidays is good for your soul. Usually these are indulgences we only allow ourselves once a year. That makes these treats sacred and essential to our spirit Do not allow fitness marketers to prey on you and make you feel any little bit less about yourself for filling your belly with love. You are good enough as you are. Every time you eat or exercise, do it from a place of love. Like all things, it may take practice to find a place of peace amongst the marketing. But keep trying. You are perfect and beautiful. Don't let anyone make you believe you otherwise

I'm sure you've heard of kale. Have you tried it yet? The kale craze is in high gear. This superfood is packed with vitamins and good stuff to lower cholesterol and prevent cancer and grows easily in Ontario from early May until heavy frost. One great way to begin your love affair with kale is to make kale chips. These will please the entire family, but disappear as fast as you bake them, so make an entire head. Here's how: 1.Preheat oven to 350 2.Tear kale into pieces, removing the stems and big veins 3.Toss pieces in olive oil and spices. Try sea salt, chili pepper, garlic powder or some sriracha. Just enough to coat 4.Spread on baking sheets lined with parchment paper and bake approximately 15 minutes or until they look dry

Because I work in a gym a few days a week. I see many people logging hours on treadmills and elliptical machines looking miserable. The thoughts that go through you mind on that cardio machine have a much greater impact on your body than the calories you burn there. For many of us, those thoughts are, at minimum, unhelpful and maybe even destructive. Shaming yourself into a workout will never achieve the results you want. While on the treadmill many people are reading magazines whose pages are full of airbrushed photos and articles on losing weight and getting approval from others. Let me fill you in on the truth...you will never look like Jennifer Aniston (or whatever celebrity you idolize), no matter how much surgery you have, how many hours you spend on those machines or what diet you try. You will always look like you. That is a good thing. Learn to love you as you are. There is probably something about Jennifer Anistons body she doesn't like too. Here's a secret of mine: I don't like my thighs much. They are big and lumpy and full of cellulite. Even at my lightest weight when I had 6pack abs, I still didn't like the look of my thighs. But focusing on how much I dislike them isn't going to change them or help me in any way. Instead I focus on strengths that I have. Sure I get off track sometimes when I see ladies blessed with amazing legs, but beating myself up over things I can't change is not in my best interests. Learn to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. As Buddha says, you as much as anyone else in the world is deserving of your love and affection. Working out should be because you want to take care of your body, not because you hate it. Being healthy shouldn't mean countless hours indoors on machines we hate and eating food we don't enjoy. That doesn't mean that we should all sit on the couch and eat Big Macs either. If you really listen to your body when you eat 'bad' foods you will realize quickly how much better you feel when you take care of yourself. Being accountable for taking care of your body is very different than shaming yourself into it. Find an activity that brings you joy and do it. Eat whole foods that are nutrient dense most of the time. Never feel bad for what you did yesterday. You can't change it even if you wanted to. If you want a s'more at the campfire or wine with your friends then go for it. It's good for your soul. Maybe you'll find that when your workout, food and life bring you joy your body will begin to reflect that.