jeremy

thank you so much for mentioning men on a post about women <- notice how no one has ever said this

i love my son %appdata%

wanted it too badly award

me (in the middle of a swordfight) (we've been at it for a while, it's getting awkward and I need to break the silence) "Have at thee!" (thinking) man that was stupid. I sounded so stupid. they must think I'm a fucking idiot.

Will smith just slapped somebody at the oscars... but I just cant seem to remember who...... whats.. happening to me? *looks down at my hands and theyre holding a fork and knife* *a plate in front of me appears* *im wearing a bib* *a butler arrives with a meal inside of a silver platter unveiling it to be my own severed head*

I was fast graceful and gorgeous at the airport like a leopard

Tomorrow? like the thing that killed Macbeth?

paul mccartney lies are like john and i werent gay bob dylan lies are like i used to be a male prostitute and slept in a wet cardboard box all alone

i hate to admit this but i think if i were in a bad mood and spongebob were around i wouldnt be able to navigate that situation with the patience or grace it demands. and i worry he would blame himself

im no better than squidward