Butch Peace

I lived as a trans man for 10 years before detransitioning and reconnecting with myself as a woman and a lesbian.

I'm against transition because it's medically harmful, not because I have any hate towards trans people.

Gender ideology disproportionately affects lesbian and bisexual women and tomboys, and causes us to become divorced from our community of women and disconnected from feminism. This leaves us vulnerable to all forms of abuse as well as psychological and medical distress.

Female people of any identity label are my priority. You’re beautiful and you deserve love, health, and a happy life.

Note: The Discord server is now closed due to lack of bandwidth to moderate. If you create a new group, DM me and I’ll add it here for others to find!

My Writing | My Comics | Medical Research | Asks

Radfem Library by @ladielabrys2:

Yep.

Honestly I think that most of them aren't even marginalized for their gender nonconformity. The gay ones who are genuinely feminine, sure. But the hetero ones? Pretty much everyone, whether they admit it or not, perceives the majority of heterosexual trans-ID'd male people as straight men. They're given the same respect and deference that straight men are, and seem to actually have more opportunities and career success than "cis" women.

They cry about how they feel unsafe in male spaces, they cry about the big bad terfs and the big mean lesbians, but they're generally not unsafe.

Personally, I think their whining about feeling "unsafe as a woman" is part of their male fetish for role playing women's oppression.

And I have good reason for thinking that – if you read their blogs and reddit posts, they're littered with clear fetishization of the female experience, and specifically fetishization of taking on a submissive, "traditional" role as a woman. That's been the case ever since the 70s and 80s when straight crossdressing men would circulate magazines full of fetishistic material about how to "act like a woman".

Puberty sucked, and I hated it for mostly all the same reasons. I dreaded puberty before it came, and I secretly thought that maybe I was supposed to have been born a boy, and I would become one during puberty instead of becoming a woman.

Not that I literally thought I would become male. I didn't know what intersex was at the time, but my thoughts as a kid were along the lines that I would find out I was intersex when I hit puberty, and I would naturally develop differently.

I didn't want to become what I thought a "woman" was supposed to be in my head - I know now this image of a "woman" was just the image that the media and people around me put into my head - the Patriarchal 1950s Wife archetype that I learned from church or the Brainless Bimbo archetype that I learned from the media - Not what women actually are.

I also didn't want boys and men to stare at me, try to flirt with me, catcall or harass me - which they did as soon as I started developing.

I didn't want to date them, and I knew I didn't want to get married or have kids with a man, so why would I want a body that attracted attention from them and which put me in pain every month for something I didn't even want? The whole thing was just uncomfortable. My body felt like a liability, something that was holding me back.

I wanted to be free. Boys and men seemed to have this sense of freedom that girls and women don't get to have. As a female person, you have to deal with your period, maybe uncomfortable breasts, not being able to go out alone at night, being more controlled by your parents, not being as included in male-typical things like sports, being taken less seriously and looked down on academically, etc.

Why would I want to grow up as a woman when on some level I already knew that I would have less freedom and less respect and autonomy in the world when I did?

I also grew up in a homophobic environment where I didn't know any gay people and didn't know and accept my own sexuality until I was later on in my teens. I think that also had a lot to do with it for me.

Growing up gay, attracted to other girls and women, for some of us means that we grow up idolizing men and feeling like we connect more to men. The men around us, men in the media, male characters in shows and movies, etc. The fact that we want to "get the girl" means that (for some of us at least) we identify more with boys and men than we do with other girls and women.

I think a lot of lesbians also tend to feel fundamentally different from other girls and women, because we don't feel the need to conform to typical standards of how women are "supposed" to act and look and dress in order to be attractive and acceptable to men.

That can feel very alienating, and made me personally feel like I didn't fit in and didn't belong with other female people. I thought there must be something different about me, because I felt so different. But the only real difference at my core is that I was gay.

For me, all of this was something I basically outgrew. It's an inherently childish way to look at the world - to believe that you can actually become the opposite sex and actually live the life of the opposite sex.

None of us can do that, none of us can truly assimilate and really become that. What's the point of endlessly trying and failing to become the opposite sex, when we know it's impossible? Not to mention medically risky and inherently harmful to our bodies.

Once I understood where all of these different negative feelings about my body and about being female in general came from - that was when the dysphoria really started dissipating.

I don't have any dysphoria anymore. On the contrary, I have a lot of pride now in being female and being a woman in general, and a lot of love and respect for my body as it is. I have much better self-esteem and genuinely think of myself as a cool person just the way I am. That's something I never in my life thought I would be able to say about myself.

If I hadn't transitioned when I was 22 and had given myself a few years to wait and see instead, I wouldn't have done it at all.

it did make me feel mentally very stable and the few changes i had were things that made me happy. i know i cant live that life though. but now i feel stuck because without it i have my period back, and i know the fitness gains will slow down and i will feel anxious again all the time

All I can tell you is what I think as someone who has been through it all.

First - Feeling vaguely "better" on testosterone is because it gives you more energy and makes your moods more stable.

You don't feel that way because you're "meant" to have testosterone in your system – You feel that way because that's the effect of the hormone. Every "cis" woman would also feel better on testosterone.

Second - If you don't know if you want to transition, don't transition.

It's a very big decision that quite literally changes every aspect of your life, and probably for the rest of your life. It also puts you at higher risk of various health issues. Check my medical research tag for more info.

In my opinion, transition isn't something anyone should do unless they're completely sure that they want to assimilate into society living as male. Listen to some stories of detransitioners who have already lived that life and gone back.

Think about what it will actually mean for your life to live as a male when you're not male. And give yourself time to grow up and find out if you'll become content with your body as it is before making a major choice like this.

Third - Find out what your "dysphoria" actually is. It's not some monolithic thing, a condition that you have. It's a combination of negative feelings about your body that come from specific places, usually experiences you've had, ideals you want to achieve for your appearance, or simply just not liking that you have to deal with the uncomfortable aspects of being female.

You don't have some kind of brain condition called dysphoria. Find out what you're actually feeling, educate yourself on what transition is really like including all the possible downsides, and wait until you're at least a couple years older to make a major decision like this.

And also... just go to the gym dude! Women can get insanely ripped if we work hard for it and eat right. You don't need the testosterone cheat code to do it.

The fact that there are a lot of women artists doesn't mean that sex-based oppression and lack of opportunities doesn't affect the art industry. It's more common in certain areas of the art industry than others.

The bottom line is that even if 90% of working artists were female (which isn't the case), if they're often being overlooked or passed over for opportunities in favor of the 10% of male artists in their industry — there is structural oppression at play.

This is easy to miss if you're looking at, for example, female artists who are popular online or who do a lot of commissions and appear to be successful. It's much harder to miss if you look at who is working at a high level in industries like comics, film, and animation.

No, it’s not open to desisters. I encourage you to make one that includes desisters though! Yall do need and deserve support but it’s not something I have the bandwidth to moderate!

You’re just an asshole.

It went about as well as you'd expect. Lots of blaming the individuals and refusing to acknowledge a pattern.

I think more and more women are realizing these things from personal experience, and more and more non-lesbians are waking up to how harmful the trans shit is to us. The sooner the better!