give us war-worn

I think Ilya had a running bit for a while in 2012 where every time he texted Shane he added another inch to his dick size

one must imagine sisyphus behind the wheel of a large automobile

the “i don’t know that side of you at all” line is so underappreciated because it’s really the first time ilya has revealed an insecurity to shane, something so ingrained in him by his father that he wears it like a second skin, and he positions it as a light-hearted joke but shane doesn’t get why he would say that about himself. shane meets him head-on, so earnest and sweet: i don’t know that side of you at all. i only know that you have put in relentless work to hone your craft and dominate your career. i pour everything into this sport and you’re the only one who can keep up—how could you be lazy. i made you pursue me for two years before we had sex and you never stopped. you could have anyone; you put in the work for me. every time we fuck you give and give and give. you’ve learned my body and figured out what i need because i never let myself. i don’t know that side of you at all.

there is no way y'all can convince me shane wouldn't be crazier for ilya in his jersey than ilya would be for shane in his. i bet you shane hockey-is-my-life hollander has at least 45 different sexual fantasies where ilya is wearing his jersey, like can we be serious

we don't actually need gender markers on our licenses and whatnot. we could just. do away with those entirely. i do not believe this would lead disaster.