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@hit-the-showerz
We've both been here before / Matter of fact, I caught you lookin' back / So let's go

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I think there's a part of Shane that genuinely believes that when he finishes his last game, they will take him out back and shoot him like a sick dog.
luca haas would love being a lemon stealing whore stealing lemons from hollanov's lemon tree
David and Ilya are out on a grocery run together to pick up some last minute stuff for the Christmas dinner at David and Yuna's later that day. And they're in the produce section getting carrots when they run into one of David's work colleagues, Alexander.
Alexander who greets David with a handshake and a pat on the shoulder, obviously close enough to stop and chat with David outside of work. And David puts a hand on Ilya's shoulder and goes "This is Ilya", and Alexander's eyes light up. But before Ilya can say anything, Alexander goes "Oh yeah, I recognize you from the pictures!", he smiles and shakes Ilya's hand. "That must have been a fun bareque, David talks about it often."
And Ilya's mind has shut off and is racing a thousend miles at the same time because yeah they did have Yuna and David over at Shane's Cottage this summer for a barbeque, as they have done often, but surely that - why would David have a picture of that on his desk?
He must manage a Thank you or something because Alex still smiles warmly as he tells thr two of them "Well, it was nice to run into you guys, I won't hold you up any longer. Enjoy your family Christmas" and Ilya, through the rushing in his ears, hears David say "Thank you, Alexander. Have a good Christmas as well, give my best to Elaine".
It's not until they're back in the car, groceries in the trunk on the way back to the house, when Ilya turns to David. There are a million things he wants to say, but he ends up blurting out
"You have pictures of me at your office?"
And he doesn't know what he expects David to say. No, this was all a prank orchestrated by my work colleague and me? Yes i do but only because Shane made me? Yuna told me to keep the Hollander-Rozanov brand strong I get five dollars everytime someone mentions your name?
The rational part of his brain knows these are all absurd. He's still not quite ready to be hit with David's completely sincere "Oh, yeah. With you boys on the road so often I like to keep pictures on my desk, you know? Yuna as well, of course. It makes me feel as if I have a part of my family with me even at work."
David kindly does not say anything about how Ilya's eyes get a bit glassy at that. Just smiles at him in the rearview mirror and pats him on the knee as they make their way back home.

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YOUπ«΅'RE π«΅ NE->XT.!! moTHERFUCKER!!!!
GET LOVED!!!!!!!!!!
My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug
a βpast url is kind of like a dead wife
now Iβm curious, whatβs everyoneβs dead wife url mine is assbuttsinburgatory
heated rivalry + text [20 / ?] (src)
HUDSON WILLIAMS as Henry Park in the first teaser for YAGA (2026)

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guys i liedddddd πππππ i actually want it πππ i want it so bad ππππ i want it so bad its ruining my life πππππππππππππππ
i feel like an underdiscussed element of the locker room situation is also that shane had time to get fully dressed and still had to fuck around and pretend to be putting on his shoes to buy time and make an excuse for still being there by the time ilya came out, still wrapped in a towel
like i know my man's shower routine is not THAT fucking intense my GOD
which means that ilya fully 100% was deliberately giving shane time to get dressed and be gone if he wanted, which i find extremely sweet, honestly
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
"and your mother?"
"dead."
This scene ran me over then put it in reverse to finish the job - I had to paint it

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there's a special place in my heart for people who made an effort to be my friend regardless of how quiet or distant i can get at times
ilya rozanov appreciation week: day two favorite look: black on black
Heated Rivalry (2025-) dir. Jacob Tierney