Crush: *enters room*
Me:Ā
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@jenniehh12
Crush: *enters room*
Me:Ā

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french recipes: if youāre not making this in paris then whatās the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.Ā
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay thatās it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isnāt quite right. I donāt know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.
Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three
Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.
Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countriesā cuisines AND neuroses.
Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so glĀ
ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.Ā
internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sisterās third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.
Irish recipes:
yāall: peter was able to stop buckyās fist in civil war bc bucky heard peterās voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu
me, eating pistachios: yāall know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. yāall know buckyās fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. yāall know bucky didnāt know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. yāall know that, right.
naw fuck that buckyās punches arenāt easy to block, itās WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes heās a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth
thatās the face of a man who went fromĀ āholy shit he blocked my punch?ā toĀ āholY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???ā in 3 seconds flat.
Next second is āi triED TO PUNCH A CHILDā
i physically canāt scroll past this post
@radical-realist

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May I just sayā¦
Loki looked fiiiiiine as FUCK in Endgame for those 2 minutes
Is no one going to talk about Thor being the king of āYEETā?
Let me explainā¦.
Have a hammer bitch YEET!!!
Liiiterally the definition ofā¦.this bitch empty! YEET!!!!
This bitch is empty of his will to liveā¦.
YEET!!!!!!!!
holy cow yes
Honestly? HONESTLY? None of us have any fucking clue whatās gonna happen in endgame.
Yeah itās like.. āAvengers Endgame *serious music* itās a movie. See it in imax on the 26thā

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THROUGH A RAPISTāS EYESā (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
āThrough a rapistās eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewā¦ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whoās clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they donāt have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isnāt worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys youāre not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: canāt believe it is so cold out here, weāre in for a bad winter. Now that youāve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said theyād leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you canāt beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh ā HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guyās parts it is extremely painful. You might think that youāll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and heās out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, donāt dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but youād feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ā¦.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from youā¦. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver wonāt see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DONāT DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driverās side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked āfor helpā into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and itās better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. āHelping hands are better than Praying Lipsā ā give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog thisā¦.Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.ā
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesnāt matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someoneās life.
Donāt scroll past this, itās so important
nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! donāt scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!
this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.
sorry if i reblog this everY FIVE MINUTES
ImportantĀ
No worries if this post doesnāt fit your aesthetic or theme, this is important information. You could save not just a physical womanās life but you can ALSO prevent things like PTSD that a woman would acquire from an attack if left alive
Dont you dare scroll past this without reblogging im pretty sure you can press two simple buttons to raise awareness
body: you are dying of The Heat
me: [removes blanket]
body: never have you been So Frozen
me: [sticks one leg out]
body: perfect
Demon to my now exposed leg:
So my high schoolās drama club did The Bad Seed, a play about a child who brutally murders people. Later, the girl who played the part of the murderer was cast as a gay character and she refused to play the part because it āwent against her moralsā
People calling themselves hetero when they canāt even keep their morals straight
Do yāall remember when the lizard lady from Doctor Who kissed her wife and everyone was like homosexuality shouldnāt be on television and it was likeā¦sheās a lizard
Ellen Page photographed by Tiffany Nicholson

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So a new meme king is born
Our boi has always been a meme material and it just gets better every day
Just another update
It would be amazing if you guys can attach a rami meme each time you reblog thisāØš
Letās do thisšš»
lolol I really like this idea @hoeforrami ššš¼
My personal fav
Me when the professor asks the class to summarize what they just said
a classic
This guy came for Jameela and she fucking wrecked him oh my god