Delusional parasite

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｡𖦹°‧ photographic memory. retain information easily & effortlessly.

｡𖦹°‧ top student. or valedictorian ? head of the soccer team ? class president ? founder of the animal rights club ?

｡𖦹°‧ model student. perfect grades, perfect attendance, always on time.

｡𖦹°‧ school air doesn’t exist. you arrive without a hair out of place, you leave without a hair out of place.

｡𖦹°‧ clean bathrooms. always stocked with nice soaps, period & hygiene products.

｡𖦹°‧ quality & healthy food. professionally made by chefs. fresh every lunch period.

｡𖦹°‧ uniforms. cute uniforms that go with your body type. alternating color palettes depending on the season or semester ?

｡𖦹°‧ private suite style dorm. with a bathroom, kitchenette, moderate size walk in closet.

｡𖦹°‧ day meals. all day has breakfast, lunch & dinner food. no specific wake up hours or meal end times. serves between class, before & after school hours.

｡𖦹°‧ three day weekends. school only four days a week, extra day granted for free time or designated homeroom days.

｡𖦹°‧ school dance & events. valentines day dance, winter ball. campus fair. football games.

｡𖦹°‧ off campus free periods & lunch is allowed. nearby dinner ? mall ? go home if you live across the street from campus ?

｡𖦹°‧ classes with variety. animal training, astrology, fashion design, horse back riding etc.

｡𖦹°‧ rooftop community garden. food is able to be taken, seating provided for students. enclosed & heated in the winter.

｡𖦹°‧ for extra credit / after school job. filling in for a teacher. torturing. filing paperwork in the office. showing new students around the school.

｡𖦹°‧ class trips. the zoo, over seas, museums. 

｡𖦹°‧ haunted campus. ghosts ? ghost stories ? urban legends ?

Tankhun is the overworked and overstressed eldest trying to take care of his family. Korn is a sick old man, likely to die any day now, and Gun is their shady, unreliable uncle who takes advantage of his brother’s failing health and the boys for his own gain. He’s part of a low-level gang; robberies, muggings, minor car theft. Nothing that would get the attention of actual organized criminals. A scumbag. 

Kinn and Vegas are the primary supports. Tankhun does his best, but he’s got his own trauma to work through. Kinn is the bartender fucking patrons for extra tips; Vegas is just a prostitute, and he doesn’t try to hide it. He also deals drugs on the side, and sometimes is forced into helping with Gun’s crimes. First as a lookout when he was young, then as an active participant. Kinn and Khun both fight with him about his methods. Kinn, because he thinks Vegas is reckless, getting involved with his father like that. He won’t be able to avoid the police forever if he keeps engaging in violent crime. Vegas thinks none of them can afford to be scrupulous with their morals, and none of them can deny that he delivers. 

Tankhun, a former prostitute himself, until he was kidnapped and… had a bad time… scolds Vegas for being so reckless with his own sex work. He’s terrified of anyone in his family going through the same things he did. Now he’s agoraphobic as hell, terrified of strangers, and only manages to pull himself together for the sake of his family. He still does sexwork, but now he’s just a camboy; there isn’t much else he can do that doesn’t require him to leave the house, when he’s a college drop-out with no qualifications or marketable skills. 

Kim’s bright plan was to become a YouTube sensation, get famous, and make it so none of his family ever has to work again. It doesn’t pan out quite that way. He does have and maintain a channel for his music, sharing recording equipment with Tankhun, but it’s small time. He does have a significant amount of subscribers; between that and his patreon, it’s not enough to live off of, but it’s enough for him to put himself through school. Anything extra he gets goes towards his family; Tankhun always tries to protest, but Kim can see the way some of the tension leaves his eyes when he doesn't have to worry about the month’s bills. Unlike the elder cousins, the closest Kim ever comes to sex work is playing his guitar shirtless on his patreon. Maybe a couple times people have offered to pay him for ~extra services~, but he just can’t bring himself to do it. 

Macau is still in high school. He tutors people for extra cash (read: does their assignments for a hefty fee) and helps Kim edit his music/videos. Wants to be a DJ someday. The two of them are close, as the babies of the family. Closer than Kim is to his own brothers, but the same can’t be said for Vegas; he and Macau are thick as thieves. 

One day Kinn gets a job as a personal bartender. He doesn’t bother trying to hide that he’s working for Porsche Kittisawat, and Kim isn’t shy about calling him a kept boy. He doesn’t begrudge his brother the choices he makes, he just wishes Kinn didn’t have to make them. Kinn puts up a good front, but Kim knows the craves the intimacy of a lasting relationship. He’s desperate for something real. To love and be loved. Kim is too jaded to stake any belief in finding something like that. 

Then he meets Chay. 

Chay is actually a fan of his. A very generous fan who regularly makes sizeable donations. Kim owes his upgraded recording equipment to Chay’s generosity, though he has no idea who his online benefactor is. 

Kim is local talent. Sometimes he gets called to play small shows every once in a blue moon. Kinn is pretty good at pulling the strings to get Kim booked at his club, courtesy of Porsche, who’s really making the offer on Chay’s behalf. It’s how Kim ends up meeting Chay. Not that he makes the connection. 

Chay is in the crowd, watching him with more interest than he thinks he’s earned. Kim thinks it’s regular attraction, the kind he’s used to. Used to it dropping off when people get to see the real him too; his pretty face isn’t enough to make up for his ugly life, especially when his personality isn’t enough to act as a buffer. Kim buys him a drink after the show anyway. They talk, they flirt, Chay admits to being a fan, which is nice. Kim’s never been recognized before. 

They start seeing each other. Kim still doesn’t connect Chay ro Kinn or to his favorite subscriber. Thanks to Kinn (and Chay’s) efforts, he keeps doing shows. Gets booked for better clubs as he proves himself able to handle it. He doesn't want to know what it cost his brother; he hopes it’s not too much, and Kinn always assures him he’s fine. He seems to mean it, and Kim is just selfish enough not to question it if it means his dream coming true. He starts promoting his shows online, and Chay is there at every one. Pretty soon that leads to seeing each other outside of shows, too, then going on dates. 

It’s building towards something. But before they can fall over that edge, Kim finds out about everything. The mafia, Chay’s subscription, Chay getting him these shows. All but paying for him. Kim is devastated. He knew better than to trust Chay from the start, it was too good to be true, and now look at what’s happened. 

He goes to his family. 

Tankhun, shrewd as ever, tells him it doesn’t change anything just because he knows now. Vegas, ruthless, tells him to use Chay for everything he’s worth until the money dries up. Macau thinks it’s romantic; that Chay admired him from afar, only for them to meet by chance and fall in love. Except they didn’t meet by chance, and Kim isn’t in love. 

Kinn understands, though. Kim didn’t expect him to. He didn’t give his brother enough credit. He thought Kinn would be like Vegas and Khun. Instead he tells Kim to follow his heart. He knows Kim isn’t like them, isn’t built for the kind of life where he can set aside his feelings and use someone else for his own gain. He’s too much of an artist for that. 

Kim tells all of this to Chay, who says that he doesn’t want to buy Kim, either. If Kim doesn’t return his feelings, that’s okay. They can go back to the way they were. They can be friends, or Chay can just be an anonymous name on a screen. He wants to be with Kim, but he doesn’t want to pay Kim to pretend with him. 

But a sad trend I've noticed in this fandom, is that these beautifully flawed characters get stripped down to plain caricatures that lose so much of what gives them depth.

Fuck it, I'm going to make this a KimChay rant bc we all know that's what I really care about on this blog.

Chay becomes the perfect voice of morality and responsibility that can do no wrong, he's the one teaching Kim how to be a person and whipping the mafia into shape and can do everything perfectly always. Ignoring the fact that no, he's a literal high school student. He's messy and grubby and immature, and a little self-centered, and that's fine.

Meanwhile Kim gets demonized to high hell, he's the worst person ever, he betrayed Chay and ruined his life and and and. When in reality, Kim was looking out for his brother, he didn't ever encourage Chay or """seduce him""" for the sake of spying, and got so caught up in his own complicated feelings that he ran from them. He's also a college student. Man is like. 22 at the oldest.

I tend to meet media where it's at, and accept what it's trying to tell me. And KinnPorsche is fulfilling some very obvious tropes. KinnPorsche themselves are the protagonist action couple, with some bodyguard flavored boss/employee spice. VegasPete is for the dark romance girlies that like BDSM and dubcon. But KimChay? For the love of god, they are the wholesome high school/college romance. With a side of first heartbreak, yes, but I see no indication from canon that either of them really see this has some huge life-ending betrayal. Chay is literally just a heartbroken teenager getting over his first situationship.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring other dynamics between other characters, that's the whole point of fic! But it's so disheartening to see the amount of meta where people have convinced themselves that Kim is literally worse than Vegas, that Chay is a perfect saint that can do no wrong, and that Kim deserves to be used and abused as repentance, always groveling for Chay's forgiveness.

As mundane as it seems, one of Kim’s new favorite activities is getting boba tea with Chay every Thursday.

Kim and Chay both love each other so much.

I'm very fond of couples who actually see each other. like, in a way that others don't. And yeah, we all know that Chay sees a side of kim not many, if anyone, does.

But I also think Chay shows an honest and true side of himself to only Kim, and that Kim offers just as much to the relationship as Chay does.

It's hard to tell in those little snippets of life we see after the "break up", but like.

Chay is a very lonely person. I know it's the common fanon that chay is popular and has all the friends and skills, but I honestly could see him being just as lonely as say, kinn or kim. Porsche is the outgoing one we see being social. all the times we see chay with people/friends, he's more quiet and reserved. I'd wager he has one friend (the one went with him to the open house and later we see doing his hair / out with this dudes friends vs chay's friends)

And Kim eases that loneliness just as much. And Kim takes care of him --- the polaroids paint a picture of him spoiling him with experiences Chay has never had--because he's been broke and on a scholarship so always studying.

Because so much of Kimchay can be hidden from the viewer, it's so easy to say that Chay is the only one who gave of himself, or offers something to Kim--

But I truly don't think that's fair to the characterization of a beautiful show. Kim gave *everything* he could to chay, to the point of getting back into a life he hated and had successfully escaped from (murder board aside) , just to keep Chay safe.

He allowed Chay to have a whole other home and life outside of Porsche. He eased Chay's worries and offered him comfort. Even when he was trying to investigate porsche and Chay, he was trying to be fair about it--snacks, offering up his own name to make the status quo even.

Remember the Wik shrine smile? Kim wasn't judgy, and he was always patient with chay.