pairing : Bestfriend! jeno and reader y/n
word count : i didn’t even count aajkakkh
a/n: this is my first time publishing something of my own. i didn’t actually prove read this but i hope it’s okay :’). happy reading!
dear diary,I’ve always thought he was beautiful, those moon shaped eyes that shone brighter in the night, the one who’s always there to comfort me.well, not anymore. and who you may asked?he’s my bestfriend, lee jeno. back then, we were inseparable,it’s funny how jeno and i became friends so quickly. all because of we both loves cats but also allergic to it. but jeno still adopts them anyway and has 3 in total.jeno being the one who always help me with my illness, we share everything together too, promised that we will never keep secrets,always doing things together that people assume we were dating.but jeno quickly denied it. it was fine at first,not until she came in frame. my one and only light is dimmed now . my jeno. mine? since when he’s yours y/n? you didn’t deserve him , you will never be good enough.i don’t hate her i promise.but it hurts, the heart-wrenching pain i felt that tugs my heartstrings, wanting the affection of someone i know i can never have. and that was the first time i dealt with my first heart break. i’m in love with lee jeno and i can’t do anything about it. maybe, maybe it’s for the best.
if i have to describe lee jeno,he’s The person I love the most and is somewhat reserved, but he is generous and kind. He is happy to be out of the limelight, and I thrive in that, so we complement one another. He is also thoughtful, so it makes me proud to know him as he deals with others.He has never had someone dislike him or think he’s a bad person. He has a fairly even temperment. He is curious about everything, loves to scrunch his cute nose, need facts to understand things, and isn’t easily duped. i love the boy so much, so much that i’m also good at hiding my feelings from him. i will never tell him how i feel. never. i can’t lose my best friend over my stupid feelings. he can never know.though, i have this one habit even jeno doesn’t know.i know, we made a deal with each other on not to keep secrets with each other, but if it’s too much to handle, i tend to bottled up my emotions. i always told myself, i’m fine. but am i?
the day i realized i fell in love, was also the day jeno told me he was also in love. but, the lucky girl wasn’t me. i tried so hard not to let my tears fall and to broke down. instead, i gave him a smile, and say “im glad you found someone that can make you happy”. we grew apart since then. i’m not doing a good job either. i avoid him at all cost and give him countless excuses so we won’t meet. and it worked. he stopped trying too.
i miss my moon. and i miss him dearly. It starts at the bottom of your stomach, and slowly grows with every passing day. You don’t notice it at first—you think you’re fine. But you are watering this weed every day, so it just grows stronger. It strangles your organs—you’ll notice it when you lose your appetite. From then on it slowly grows taller, and when you notice that you can’t breathe, it’s too late—way too late—it will have started working on your heart and it will continue growing until it extends out, past your lips.this feelings i felt in my heart every time is unbearable. too painful as if i can’t hold on much longer.
im tired jeno. i’m tired of being your umbrella. i can’t be the one that you pulled from the back of your closet on a rainy day that never comes. maybe it’s time i realized that my best friend has another umbrella that’s taking care of him . maybe, its time,
germansingergirl
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