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I think I need some rest.

Physically, I’m missing some sleep in spite of having had 3 naps last weekend.

Mentally, work has been very challenging recently, like being in some kind of permanent crisis mode for weeks on end, and I need a break from that.

A difficulty for me is that the two are intuitively contradictory: if I take enough time to sleep, I don’t have time to do other things. If I do other things, I don’t really sleep enough. The fallacy, though, is that when I don’t do enough other things, I also don’t sleep well, and that’s the vicious circle I need to break somehow. I’m currently managing without caffeine, but at the current pace that is not going to last.

I’m getting hit with a harsh case of the creator’s block.

I’ve got everything I need to create stuff. And I’m so afraid of failing that I’m not creating anything. Instead, I theorize about creating, and I buy more supplies.

I can’t pinpoint what I fear. I’m not putting anything on the line if I fail. Pretty much all the supplies I have can be trivially replaced, and barely a few require a bit of effort.

Whatever cost failing might have will bring me far more value as practice and experience anyway.

I’ve been looking at heraldry recently. I’m finding it oddly interesting, because of its historical meaning that sometimes borders on playfulness, because of the rigidity of the blazoning language, because of the strict rules about colors, shapes and layouts.

I expect heraldry to be a subject of crafts for me, though the extend remains TBD. Pixel arts are in, painting might be as well, and other approaches might be appropriate: quilting, needlecrafts, paper crafts. I might also look at the blazoning language from the point of view of computer science.

<rant>

This wasn’t supposed to be my first post on this blog. Instead, my first post was supposed to be about something mildly more interesting. I had written that first post in the train during my commute, and it never made it here. It disappeared. It shouldn’t matter that I had marginal connectivity at the time, my data shouldn’t have been eaten away like that.