I'm probably watching cartoons

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

someone in the UK threw eggs at Charles and was arrested and has been banned from openly carrying eggs in public and has since been sent death threats but their statement on the matter was so fucking good

also let's take a moment to appreciate the picture of this man being arrested

"So my bail conditions were, between my arrest and my trial, were that I wasn't allowed to carry eggs in public." host laughs "Yeah, I know, and so that is in itself like so absurd that it's like right" Host: "I gotta know, is there like a provision for if you're going home from the store? Or are you just, are you just egg-less?" "So the copper who was literally just like making this up at the station says like 'Ok, so your bail condition is: you're not allowed within 500 meters of the king; you're not allowed to carry eggs in public' and then he goes like 'ah actually, like, what 'appens if he wants to buy some eggs?' Ok, so they changed it so it's like, 'You're allowed to carry eggs as long as you're going home from the shops and you've got the receipt" host laughs "And I think, that was more viral than me actually doing it, you know what I mean like, people were like, that's Britain for you, have you got a license for those eggs"

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

Trotsky was banned from tournament play after Stalin deemed his deck problematic.

Nah Trotsky was just annoyed that Stalin used a Pokémon card-

Hmm, I see.

May I propose the fill ins?