Jason Todd is a Fucking God

Jason: *texts dick* theres this dumbass fucking fly in the throes of death ON MY BED dick: ….judt kill it Jason: what kind of heartless bastard would I hve to be to kill a dying fruit fly dick: … dick: the kind that regularly kills real people?????? Jason: but they’re bad people. This thing’s only sin is being a fucking dumbass who made it to where I can’t lay down in bed dick: it’s two am. I’m going to bed. Next time you text me, it better be a real emergency two hours later: Jason: the bitch dead dick: I hate you

Steph, randomly: *leans over the couch where Jason is reading* hey, Jason? Jason: what? Steph: did you ever like . . . Actually get a driver’s permit? Jason: uhh . . . now that I think about it, no dick and Bruce: *stop what theyre doing in the background* Steph: did you . . . Get a learner’s permit? Jason: nope Steph: did you . . . Learn how to fucking drive???? Jason: uhhhhhhhh dick: *whips around to Bruce* I thought you were teaching him with the Batmobile!! Bruce: *crossing his arms* I thought YOU were teaching him! Jason: nah it’s fine guys Ra’s taught me everyone in the room: *having a stroke* RA’S AL GHUL TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRI— bruce: *louder than anyone else* THAT MAN CANNOT DRIVE FOR SHIT

Bruce: I don't know who, but one of you has a broken bone. I know this because I'm your father, I have mythical dad instincts, and also, I'm Batman. Jason, very loudly: Bullshit, he's bluffing. He made a mistake last night during a mission and he's trying to pin it on one of us via injury. Bruce: *Pulls up a PowerPoint presentation of why it is Jason*