we'll be okay

    I was pleasantly surprised when Jacob had switched his beloved bike to his cage of a truck. It made me all the more curious as to what he had planned for us that evening. I bit down on my bottom lip, though a grin still pushed through on my features as I began to follow him, facing frontwards. “I don’t mind,” I said with a shake of my head. I was a simple woman, easily pleased. Each gesture that he made was already sweet enough and I never found myself asking for more; all I needed was the love he gave me every day. 

     Once we got settled into his truck (smelled like him, really - it was nice to sit in. I was usually the walker of the relationship, never took a car to work), I couldn’t help but reach over and turn on the music. I kept it at a low, comfortable volume. I looked over at him with a soft smile. “You know, you didn’t have to do anything to make it all special,” I reassured, reaching over to place my hand on his lap. “I mean, you wore a bow tie for me. That’s enough.”

     It was never that I thought of my love life with Jacob to be dull or routinely. We were both workaholics who knew the value of money and how important it was to be stable for each other before we could really indulge. Our relationship stood on the basis of those foundations that we built for each other, so it meant almost nothing to me that we weren’t out every weekend eating at fancy places and doing fancy things. And when the time came, we were always giving each other bouts of spontaneity; just enough to make it meaningful. But in retrospect, it was all special to me - I could count the favorite days in my head where all we did was sit talking all evening. 

      After she got settled in, I shut her door before jogging over to the driver’s side. It was strange, because all of sudden I felt like it was our first date all over again. Nerves tangled their way into me and swallowed me whole as I climbed on in the truck and gave her a smile. I remember our first date like it was yesterday, and sometimes it shocks me to know it wasn’t yesterday. That’s what I loved about being with her. She made every day feel like I was jittery teenager with too much love in my heart. And I guess that’s when you know that you’ve found the one. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life loving this girl, because it was damn fact that I would.

      At the mention of my bow tie, I adjusted it playfully before sending her a wink. I knew she loved me in these things, even if they nearly choked me. Her big bright smile was enough to make it all worth it. “I know I don’t have to do anything special,” I told her matter-of-factly before throwing the truck in reverse and listening to the way it pathetically creaked as the tires rolled. God, this was a piece of crap. I wasn’t going to admit that, though. I loved this piece of crap. “But I want to.” I smiled over at her and reached over to hold her hand. On my bike, she clings onto me and I love the feeling of knowing she was right there. Hard to not hold her hand while I drove in my truck.

      Now I know we weren’t really the type to go somewhere fancy. Not only because it wasn’t in our budget, but it wasn’t necessarily our style either. But I had been working overtime for the past month or so, and I saved money secretly just for this night. Our style or not, she still deserved to have a three course meal at a four star restaurant. I didn’t want to keep dragging her to the place we so often frequented, and I knew in my heart that she deserved so much more. So, here I was pulling into the parking lot of La Rive Gauche, one of the nicest restaurants in town. You know it’s fancy if you can’t pronounce the name. “Don’t get mad,” I started to say as I pulled up where the valet waited, “But I saved up some money for tonight…”

     And it didn’t help all too much that he was in a bow tie. God, did he know how much I loved those on him? It gave him such a dashing look that I couldn’t help but wonder if he always had a mob of heart-eyed women chasing after him, the prince he was. He pulled me to him and my body obliged, my soul following alongside it as I placed my hands on his shoulders. I closed my eyes and listened to his sincere apology, a smile curving at my red lips before I nodded. My eyes opened again to look into his own, too blue for his own good. He kissed me before I was able to say anything, and I returned that gentle pressure, pulling away momentarily; almost reluctantly. 

     “It’s okay,” I spoke, voice barely there as I sighed in content. He had a knack for taking my breath away, cliche as that was. It was annoying sometimes. “Happy Anniversary.” I smiled warmly before stepping back a bit and twirling around in the black halter dress I had chosen. It was A-line and flowy, one of my favorite dresses to wear, on the rare occasions that I did wear one. I was about ready to step onto the back of his bike (must’ve been a sight, honestly - two well-dressed people on a motorcycle. One hell of a prom date) when he stopped and told me that joke I’d known all too well. 

     “Jacob, they’re beautiful.” Even though I knew it well, it never got old. Nothing made me feel better than flowers. I held the petals up to my nose before smiling, satisfied. “Thank you, I’ll put them in a vase when we get home,” I said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Did you want to just go to regular Portillo’s tonight?” One of our usual date destinations. I wasn’t really expecting anything special; I was a simple girl. 

      There was something about being predictable that didn’t sit right with me. I hated that sometimes I found myself in the same old dull routine, because I knew routine has never been anything remotely close to who I am. My past and every moment leading up to now had always been rocky and beautiful. I didn’t want Rose to expect nothing from me, especially when I wanted to give her the world. Luckily, I did have something different up my sleeve. Though I’m not entirely sure if that’s good or bad.

      “They got nothing on the real deal,” I mumbled with a smile, eyes looking at the roses before looking up at my Rose with a smile. I licked my lips and grabbed the backpack off of my bike before walking backwards away from it. Nodding my head towards my beat up truck, I said simply, “Nah. I was thinking we could try something different tonight.” It wasn’t often that I used my truck. It was mainly for work purposes, but I knew valet parking would be a little difficult with a motorcycle. Or at least I assumed. What the hell do I know about valet parking? I opened up the passenger door and smiled over at her before saying, “Hope you don’t mind we take my truck.”

     With a roll of my eyes, I leaned on the railing of my balcony. I was still smiling, though. “Only when you’re nervous?” I tugged at his leg a bit, biting down on my bottom lip to suppress an even bigger smile, but that didn’t last for long. A laugh escaped my lips as I sent him a nod. “Alright, pizza boy, I’ll be down there soon.”

     I walked through a last spritz of my perfume before locking up the apartment and heading downstairs. Miss Stacy, our old land lady, must have heard my excited footsteps, because as I was walking downstairs, she stepped out of her apartment to smile all too knowingly at me. I gave her a hushed goodbye; she must have looked at us like a pair of crazy teenagers, but I didn’t mind. This was all a part of that rejuvenation I had mentioned earlier. I wanted nothing more than the excitement and joy of being with Jacob. 

     I finally arrived at the parking lot, and it was then that I realized that I must have looked a little bit dumb, jogging carefully in my heels. As I approached Jacob, I cleared my throat and started walking in a normal pace as if that was all I had been doing. “Jacob,” I greeted him rather simply, the hint of a smile on my face. I still wanted to act a little mad at him, but then I saw the way he had been dressed up and couldn’t help but grin. “Happy anniversary, ya big goof.”

      A chuckle slipped from my lips as I leaned against my bike, keeping my eyes on her. “Take your time, Juliet,” I called out with the hint of a smile as I watched her leave the balcony. Peering into the side mirror of my bike, I ran a hand through my hair once more and straightened my bow tie. For someone who was just in overalls and covered in black splotches… well, I cleaned up pretty good- if I do say so myself.

      But nothing compared to her radiance. I watched her jog over to me in her heels, and the sight made me laugh unintentionally. She was adorable, though I had to worry for those few seconds that she might trip and fall on the asphalt. But she doesn’t. She holds herself together so gracefully and I realize it’s a kind of grace that I will never have. I stood up as she got close, almost as if she was truly a queen. Something felt wrong about sitting in her presence. “Rose,” I replied before taking her hands gingerly and pulling her to me. My forehead greeted hers, skin touching skin, and I closed my eyes while I breathed in the familiar scent of her perfume. “I’m so sorry,” I breathed, the sound of utter remorse on my tone. I didn’t need to explain myself, because she already knew where I had been. Never lied once to the girl, and I didn’t plan on doing it now. I leaned in for a kiss and pressed my lips against hers with subtle passion. “Happy Anniversary,” I mumbled against her lips before pulling away and sending her a smile. “You look stunning, baby.” My hands rubbed her forearms and trailed down before letting go altogether.

      I held up a finger for her to wait, turned to my backpack and finished retrieving the bouquet of flowers. I always got her roses. I know it’s cheesy, but it was almost like an inside joke since day one. Every year, I try to find a different color of different shade of red just to change things up. I’m sure she was sick of it, but she was my rose in every way possible. “Light pink this year. Bet you weren’t expecting that,” I told her playfully.

jaroftwocents

    One way or another, I could always count on Jacob to be late. I was never surprised, though; he had a lone wolf way of carrying himself that sometimes I find myself thinking that it was a miracle he and I ever got along. If it was anyone other than him, I was sure I would have lost patience many years ago, but here we were. I’ve known him for all my life and I couldn’t imagine a day, a world without him – but he sure as hell got on my nerves whenever he was a mile away from all the important things I had been on top of for days.

    It was our anniversary, and I’d like to say that these sorts of events blur together after being in a relationship for so long. Just to cut him some slack. But being the sentimental person I am, I can count that it’s been exactly… six years since we’ve been dating. Six years isn’t exactly ten, but with the staggering rate of divorce and the number of heartbreaks that had been devastating the world for so long ever since dating became less traditional, any number other than one is a milestone. And every number after one will always be a milestone.

    I stepped over to the mirror and took a glance at myself. I sighed, straightening out the front of my dress. Jesus Christ, I only graduated last year but there’s something about knowing Jacob for so long that leaves me feeling old. Maybe I was just a bit disappointed that he wasn’t on time, and maybe if he showed up soon, I would’ve been rejuvenated; that was the sort of effect that he had on me.

    I decided on preoccupying myself with curling some ends of my hair when I heard the rev of a motorcycle outside my apartment complex. Instinctively, I rolled my eyes - the last thing I wanted to do was go out there and say hi right away. Or answer his phone call, for that matter. I wanted to let him sit there for a little bit - marinade in the shame of being late for a date. Sure enough, though, the guilt started creeping up on me and I exhaled, standing up. I turned off my curling iron and set it aside before walking out to my balcony, looking down at the man I loved the most.

     “Sorry, I don’t think I ordered any pizza,” I called down to him, folding my arms. Of course I was bitter, but I could always douse it with a grin - I was never serious anyway.

      I was getting some overtime at the shop because that’s something you never deny when offered. Money is money, time is time. One helps you live, one pushes you towards death. I wish it was the other way around. I found myself dead set on trying to finish up the project I had started because I knew it was close to being complete. Classic rock blared through the shop on the radio nearby, and I rolled out from underneath the car once I heard someone trying to call out my name over the noise. “What?” I yelled over to Ernie and the man only pointed to the clock.

      Shit.

      Of course I was late. Of course I was sweaty and dirty. I threw down my wrench and heard the metallic hit the hard floor with a ring. Ernie only laughed and turned away while shaking his head. He was used to this. I did my best to clean up in the bathroom- get rid of all the oil and grease stains, wash my face, run some water through my hair to slick it back. It was the best I could do with the time I had, or rather time I didn’t have.

      Changed, clean, all shiny and new, I made my way over to pick up my girl. I’d like to think it’s every man’s instinct to be scared when they’re late to something involving their old lady back home. It makes sense. Hell, Rose has every right to be pissed at me, and all I can hope is for a blessing. But then I remembered that she is a blessing, so I don’t worry too much about receiving her forgiveness. Six years of dealing with me, lord knows she deserves better, but if it’s one thing I know is that it’s hard to drive her away. Which is just as much as a blessing as she is.

      I killed the engine of my bike and put the stand down before taking off my helmet. As I reached to get the bouquet of flowers from my backpack, I heard her call out to me. An instant grin found my lips as I peered up at her, and even from here I could see how gorgeous she was. “No?” I asked playfully and sighed, “Well, how about just the very apologetic pizza boy?” Trust me, I had full intentions of that sounding cute, but it was anything but. I made a face and couldn’t help but to laugh at myself. “Okay, sorry that sounds like the beginning of a porno. You know I can’t be smooth when I’m nervous.” Or ever for that matter.